Some pizza rules Tomato , in the form of sauce , is the only fruit allowed . Peppers of any sort are the only allowed exception to the prior rule . Make mine Bell , andor dried flakes . Olives may also be excepted . But they taste like shit on pizza , so don ' t do that . Pork is the only allowed meat . What kind of pork ? The sky ' s the limit . Any kind you want . Ham , bacon , pepperoni , sausage ? Fuck yes , fuck yes , fuck yes , fuck yes . Salami is iffy . Ground fucking beef on pizza is sacrilege . Anchovies are the only possible allowed exception to the prior rule , and only as a pork accessory . Think of anchovy bits as blasts of hairy salt . A perfect good . Stop with all this otherfoodcombinations bullshit . You do not want a bacon cheeseburger pizza , you do not want a Philly cheesesteak pizza , you do not want a Buffalo Ranch chicken pizza . You want a goddamned pizza . Veggie pizza is like sex with a condom on . You could have this lesssatisfying , almosttherealthing , itfeelssortagood version , or you could fuck her hot , wet , slippery brains out and blow your load deep inside her just like she wants you to .