Its hard to overcome anxiety surrounding losing your virginity . Its really nothing to be ashamed of at all , my ex was 19 when he ' lost ' his virginity to me . I think it really helped him talking about how it was making him feel anxious , and it helped that we waited 3 months to ease into it and talk about it . When we did go through with it I did my best to make him feel relaxed , and went on top so he didn ' t have to worry about his ' performance '. I mean he looked like a deer caught in headlights the whole time but it was okay ! You must have felt a lot of pressure on that one moment by hiring a sex worker . Just remember these things happen to most guys at one time or another , the pressure is a real bonerkiller , and if its going to happen at any time it ' d be when you ' re doing it for the first time . My flatmate nearly got off with this 26 yo guy we know but his anxiety prevented him from getting it up , but know for a fact he ' s slept with other people fine , so this won ' t always be the way things are don ' t worry . I think the best thing to do would be to wait until you find someone you really connect with . It doesn ' t have to be ' the one ' and you don ' t have to wait forever , I just think you ' d feel more comfortable in that situation . If you find someone you ' re able to talk openly to about these feelings and problems it would be a relief for sure . In the meantime , just mark it down as a bad experiencelife choice and put it in the past , and get back on antids because I know for sure that when I ' m low I masturbate like some kind of basement neckbeard for the buzz but my actual libido is shit .