Lime photons 11 ? <| sep |> It ' s not a problem man , talking about it helps . Yeah i ' ve been there 100 %, I managed to get out of it eventually with a lot of work and help . If you haven ' t already I can ' t recommend therapy enough . Again talking about it really really helps . I used to get caught in these destructive thought patterns . I ' d just reinforce my depression and make things worse . Then I went and started talking with a counselor and holy shit having another living breathing person on the other end of the negative thoughts changes everything . They don ' t reinforce them , they refute them and help you find ways to make them stop . In the end though you are the only one that can make yourself better . You have to force yourself to think and act differently . It ' s probably going to be the hardest thing you ' ve ever done . But trust me when you finally break the surface , and joy and feeling and motivation start coming back to you , you ' ll be glad you stuck with it . Because it ' s worth it . Life is worth it , it doesn ' t seem like it right now because you aren ' t living . You ' re surviving . Once you start to live again you ' ll never think about suicide again . Even if you slip back into a depressive state you wont consider it . Because you ' ll know what you ' re fighting for . My honest advice is talk to a psychologist . Be completely honest with them . and most importantly Let them help you . That seems like stupid advice , why would you ever fight against not feeling like actual hit constantly . But it happens , happened to me . I was scared of change , I didn ' t know what was coming for me and thought it could be even worse than it is now . In the end it wasn ' t , but I didn ' t know that at the time . It will most likely get a little worse before it gets better . You have to break your patterns . Mental and physical . And that is never easy or fun . But again it ' s so worth it . Sorry that was super rambly , I have trouble getting my thoughts in order . I hope it helped a little though .