I ' m thankful for your booty <| sep |> My husband has a daughter . She was 10 when we met , and lived 1000 miles away . He and I are military He spoiled her horribly because of guilt and lazy parenting . I got him to actually assign chores during summer visits appropriate for a kid at least five years younger , but hey at least they ' re chores ? to start , and to start educating about money and how we can ' t always get what we want just because we want it . She and her mother started butting heads when she was a teenager and started forming her own opinions she quit being Mombie ' s Little Bobblehead , which led to her mother trying to drug her into submission . ADHD meds , antidepressants , antipsychotics , you name it . She even got tossed into a mental hospital for a month . At 17 , her mother dumped her on us . She couldn ' t handle her any more . I was in Afghanistan , and my husband was about to move across the country . We . made it work . Kind of . We got her through high school , and offered up college , but she pretty consistently failed classes and went a little wild like young adults do . When we got orders to yet another state , I put my foot down . She was 19 , and I refused to bring along a lazy college student who trashed my house , ate all my food , and didn ' t even let the dogs out because she slept until 3 pm . Husband whined about it , but I asked him , do you want her living in your spare room when she ' s 30 ? Because this is how you end up with an unemployed overgrown child living in your spare room at the age of 30 . So we cut her free . She works 70 hours a week at two jobs , is on her own , and is super vigilant about birth control because her first roommate ? Her 18 yrold pregnant bff . She saw what that life was like , and swore , Not me . Here ' s the big thing though . By the time she was dumped on us , we had been married for 7 years . I had gotten to know her she ' s not a bad person and I was willing to get her the hell out of the toxic environment she was in . Heck , I had to convince him to take her in . By the time I was fed up , he was too . Moving just gave us an excuse to kick her out of the nest . But we decided together . He never dictated . That ' s the big glaring red flag here . If I were you , I ' d start squirreling away gtfo money if he insists on making decisions that fundamentally affect your life without listening to you , it ' s time to gtfo .