The first week was the toughest . You are both learning . That being said , my first I exclusively pumped with some supplementation until 6 weeks when she finally latched . There were lots of tears shed throughout that and I worked full time so I still had to pump and she would only latch at night . This one she will latch and take bottle but she is getting picky the past few days demanding warm milk in bottle or directly from the tap . I am making way more than she is eating so I have to pump sometimes before she is ready to eat or I feed her then have to pump . Sometimes bottle feedings is easier and just as close bonding . I think they are equal for me and I see benefits and cons of both . <| sep |> From other posts it looks like you may be a candidate for a bpd diagnosis