Bradford sucks so that could very easily have just been a throw . <| sep |> I grew up reading a lot , got into writing in highschool , has to give it up when life got in the way , but I still edit a lot of poetry and short stories that some of my old friends write . I think it is very cool that you are dedicated to writing with some regularity , don ' t give up on that ever it is a really good thing . Phrasing and structure are a huge challenge . I think the biggest thing is just to imagine that you are saying the paragraph outloud , speaking with your friends , how would you say it to make the most sense ? Read over it and see if there is any ambiguity , that is to say , can your sentence be interpreted several different ways ? if it can , it is a bad sentence . you want your readers to interpret the writing in a way that is inline with your personal thoughts . I do really like all the visuals , but the way they were sized in this case broke things up for me . Your article does address some important topics so overall I definitely like it . Keep writing , and feel free to message me if you ever need editing help . Edit hahaha i just checked your article again and in one of your first headings you have if he is fdiagnosed idk how that F got in there but delete ! !