Great spot thanks , I ' ll drop that in . If I ' m getting it wrong I won ' t be the only one ! <| sep |> I do have some things I wanna do there , but sometimes I get really unexpected suggestions that turn out to be great like the language exchange meet ups so I figured I may as well ask again ! <| sep |> Yea , its pretty stupid , I was sitting the other day playing around with crosshairs and got booted for inactivity , I don ' t get why there is a inactivity in practice mode . <| sep |> Why can ' t I just be normal like these people ? Just have a few glasses of wine and call it quits , or just a night of drinking , without it turning into a few months of me ruining my life ? Fuck , I know that I can ' t drink , but maybe that ' s why I ' m crying . I don ' t know . I had to grieve my old friend alcohol and it became a lot easier after it betrayed me so many times . What I really grieved were the times when it seemed to work . I am long past that now as are most people I surmise with my length of sobriety . The tables have turned . Now , I think about the heavy drinkers , Why can ' t they just be like normal people ? I don ' t begrudge them their drinks openly as that would just make me a party pooper . I ' ve been told its the way I carry myselfI don ' t know , but the effect over time has been to reduce and sometimes eliminate altogether the people that overdo it at the family functions I attend . No , I don ' t think they ' re consciously holding back in my presence . I ' ve been blessed with a lot of business success in sobriety so may that speaks to them some have said I make them think about their own amount of drinking . I don ' t really know or even care . I ' ve just noticed that over time that the amount of drinking at the family affairs has dropped rather dramatically . People I hardly even know go out of their way to leave booze out of the desserts they bring . Maybe I earned a little respect along the way ? If so , I ' m appreciative of that . In short , it has gone from feeling like a disadvantage to an advantagego figure .