See , motivation to improve is a finicky thing , especially if people aren ' t helping to add to it and are only tearing it down . Personally , I ' ve already lost almost all of my former enthusiasm for this game , and I don ' t see it reaching those levels again . <| sep |> This IS NOT an endorsement . I repeat , THAT IS NOT AN ENDORSEMENT . That is an I am republican who does not want to commit party suicide . <| sep |> I feel you . The more I learn the scarier it gets too . The depressed mind , biologically , is unable to form happy positive responses and emotions . Like being inconsolably depressed when nothing will make you feel better and the best you can hope for is numbness , silence , or nothingness . I read another study that was trying to say that long term depression irreparably damages the mind making it harder to ever achieve happiness . Something about not being able to appropriately process dopamine . It ' s scary , and I ' m right there with you trying to claw my way from pit of despair to just getting by . Step one , find a new shrink .