I mean this kindly , ok ? Let ' s imagine there are two jugglers . Neither of them are very good jugglers , and both are prone to dropping the things they juggle . One day they both decide to juggle some loaded guns . One of the jugglers , Albert , sees that the guns he is juggling with all have the safety catches off . He thinks to himself , ' hey , I should really put the safety catches on before I hurt myself '. Yet nevertheless , he juggles with them anyway , drops one , and shoots himself in the foot . The other juggler , Bob , doesn ' t even think about the fact that his guns have safety catches . He doesn ' t look to see if they are on or off , he just juggles with them , drops one , and shoots himself in the foot . Who has bad judgement here ? Albert or Bob ? Is one worse that the other ? Are there ways that either of them could have acted that would demonstrate better judgement ? Do you see where I am going with this ? You know you ' pass out at the drop of a hat '. You seem to think you should get some kind of medal for realising you needed to go home , yet you didn ' t follow through on this realisation , and therefore the consequence was the same as if the realisation hadn ' t happened . Yet you cite this as evidence of good judgment and confident decision making ? When the outcome is exactly the same ? I am starting to suspect that your partner ' s problems with your behaviour are less to do with crappy communication on your part , and more to do with a genuine concern for your safety . I haven ' t even met you , and I don ' t trust your judgement of personality and ethics and that ' s just on the basis of the stories that you are choosing to present to us , and how you convey them no negative spin from him . Stepping back a bit , you are right in that it does seem like you and he have radically different expectations of each other ' s behaviour . I can ' t see a way for you to bridge that unless one of you desires to move more in alignment with the other . You don ' t want to be held accountable to him for any of your actions . You speak of spontaneity and you seem bummed out by the idea of having to support him as you guys move forward here . I think for you to move closer to his position you ' d have to first feel like there was genuinely a problem with your behaviour that you want to correct . I think for him to move closer to your position he ' d have to emotionally distance himself from you , and in a sense , give less of a shit about what happens to you . I kind of can ' t see either of those things happening , so maybe it ' s time to ask yourselves if you are compatible enough to move forward together .