Nice a fellow Dell XPS 13 user <| sep |> log , you dont have to build a deck around it <| sep |> don ' t know how you can claim to be confident and assertive when you ' re sitting here saying you ' re never going to get laid because of who you are . That shows you ' re neither . I ' m confident and assertive in what I do , women regularly ask me how I can be so confident about things in my work , or say they wish they could be so sure of themselves . When I state a diagnosis there ' s no act because I know I ' m right , if I ' m making something look easy then it ' s because I don ' t find it particularly difficult . Outwardly I ' m the same with women , most of the time I genuinely believe I ' ll get somewhere . Then I don ' t and it increasingly becomes an active effort to maintain it , my expression of defeatism to you is a reflection on how I feel internally not how I behave towards women . Be nicer , hit on women . Hit on them , don ' t just be around them and assume that somehow they ' ll magically have sex with you . Flirt with them . compliment them on their appearance , invite them to be with you alone . I ' m always nice , in fact the clearest criticism I ' ve ever received has been over being too nice . Sounds like the classic ' nice guy ' syndrome , but it ' s true they have genuinely said that . I may be hopeless at flirting the concept evades me , but I ' ve no issues talking to women generally , if I think her dress is nice I tell her . If I like her I ' ll ask her if she wants to do something , it just never goes anywhere . Once in a blue moon one will say yes , then I ' ll see her once and that will be it . One time we actually had sex , then she said she just wanted to be friends which is a pretty common theme with me , though it generally occurs before sex .