I look forward to the slew of horror movies about people who go crazy thinking about how clever they are . <| sep |> Sign it you fucking perverts . <| sep |> det er vist ikke YuGiOh heller . Nu missede du joken . <| sep |> New York because most of the money is there <| sep |> I got my first hat drop at like , 50 hours . <| sep |> I ' m an engineer . I don ' t speak marketing . <| sep |> not mine If you ever get real rich , don ' t be real mean to poor people , like you are now . You know one thing that will really make a woman mad ? Just run up and kick her in the butt . This also works with men . Children need encouragement . So if a kid gets an answer right , tell him it was a lucky guess . That way , he develops a good , lucky feeling . Misbehave in life , so that if you come back as an animal in your next lifetime , you ' ll be some type of parasite , because that ' s the ticket to taking it EASY ! If you ' re in a boxing match , try not to let the other guy ' s glove touch your lips , because you don ' t know where that glove has been . Whenever someone asks you to define love , think about it for a minute , then spin around and pin the guy ' s arm behind his back . NOW who ' s asking the questions ? If you ever fall off the Sears Tower , just go real limp , because maybe you ' ll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because , hey , free dummy . Instead of putting a quarter under a kid ' s pillow , how about a pinecone ? That way , he learns that wishing isn ' t going to save our national forests . If you go parachuting , and your parachute doesn ' t open , and your friends are all watching you fall , a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming . If a kid asks where rain comes from , a cute thing to tell him is God is crying . And if he asks why God is crying , another cute thing to tell him is Probably because of something you did A good joke to do during an earthquake Straddle a big crack in the ground , and if it opens wider , go Whoa ! Whoa ! and flail your arms around , like you ' re going to fall in . When you go for a job interview , a good thing to ask is if they ever press charges . If you go to the beach A sand dollar may look like a nice cracker that someone left , but be aware , they don ' t taste like it . If you ever crawl inside an old hollow log and go to sleep , and while you ' re in there some guys come and seal up both ends and then put it on a truck and take it to another city , boy , I don ' t know what to tell you . I miss JH