해외 에서 치뤄진 IELTS 점수 기준 들 입니다 . 참 고 하 세요 . 내 가 쓰 는 에세이 가 몇 점 인지 궁금 하 시 죠 ? 다음 의 Band score 와 examiner comments 를 참조 하 세요 . ( Band 2 점 에서 7 점 까지 ) How can we solve overcrowded traffic problems ? Sample 1 Nowadays , these are about of cars on British road and they have increased day to day . By the year 2000 there may be as many as 29 million vehicles on British roads . In this essay , I intend to examine , about the solutions of these problems . Firstly , the people living in British need to think about themselves . If they used the bus and train instead of their car , this problem would resolve a little . Because of this , the British Government should introduce to control car ownership and use . For example , the government can ban to enter the road by carin the someday all family from a house . Secondly , the buses and trains of government should be free for public population . Thus , the people would use these transport vehicles instead of their own car . After that , the roads in Britain would be safer and more comfortable . Lastly , the number of cars that are exported from another country should decrease and the prices of car should increase in case they aren ’ t overcrowded . For example , the prices of cigarettes increased and the consuption of cigarettes get down . In conclusion , if these measures put into action the problem of traffic can be decreased in the British roads . EXAMINER COMMENT Band 5 The answer is short at just over 200 words and thus loses marks for content . There are some relevant arguments but these are not very well developed andbecome unclear in places . The organization of the answer is evident through the use of fairly simple connectives but there are problems for the reader in that there are many missing words and word order is often incorrect . The structures are quite ambitious but often faulty and vocabulary is kept quite simple . Sample 2 The transport has been one of the most important problems for the last two centuries . The problem began with the development and the growing of the cities . Before the eighth century the people lived in small villages or towns and did not have necessity to too car . The people did not worry about the time to arrive in somewhere . Nowadays the situation changed . Many cars on the streets and many people need to go to any place . The numbers of car has increased and as a result there are many problems : pollution , noise , car accident , insufficient car park and petroleum problem . On the other hand , people use car to go anywhere : to work , to travel , to spent holiday and to amusement . Meanwhile the car is important the cities must have another solution . It is important to organise its using and to meet alternative ways . In big cities there are some alternatives like undergrounds ( metro ) , coach , tram and bycicles . In China andCuba for example they use a lot of bycicles instead using the cars or coaches . It would be better to think about others different kinds of transport . In Brasil the Government has talked about transport on the rivers . In this country there are many rivers where it is possible to go to different places . In general they are flat rivers . Another kind of transport is car that uses solar energy . Probably they don ’ t have pollution problem and it is cheaper than others car . In conclusion , the transport is a social problem in big cities but its population depend on new technologies , other kind of energy and political aspects . EXAMINER COMMENT Band 6 There are quite a lot of ideas and while some of these are supported better that others , there is an overall coherence to the answer . The introduction is perhaps slightly long and more time could have been devotedto answering the question . The answer is fairly easy to follow and there is good punctuation . Organizational devices are evident although some areas of the answer become unclear and would benefit from more accurate use of connectives . There are some errors in the structures but there is also evidence of the production of complex sentence forms . Grammatical errors interfere slightly with comprehension . _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _________________________ At present more and more people consider that animals should not be used forthe benefit of human beings . These people , however , note that animals could be used if there is no evidence that they suffer in any way . This point of view has strong and wears sides . on the other hand people used to utilize animals for food , clothes , sports etc . , and we can say that there is no real substitution for meat and milk , for example . Could we say that animals do not suffer when they are killed ? If we say that we don ’ t want animals to suffer in any way we should reject eating beef and become and chickens . In the other hand we can give up using animals for clothes and sports . We could stop wearing furs , we could also stop races as we don ’ t really know whether horses enjoy them . To final the right way we should decide what are the frames of the statement “ no suffer in using animals for human ’ s purposes ” . We should also decide what kinds of using of animals we can refuse without damaging the human ’ s health / we should also create rules of painless use of animals or try to make this pain as small as we can . In my opinion , we should stop using animals for pleasure and joy if it has a influence badly on them . We must use animals only for our real needs . We should also do our best to prevent animals from suffering starvation and useless killing . EXAMINER COMMENTBand 7 Excellent . This is the standard we need . The threat of nuclear weapons maintains world peace . Nuclear power provides cheap and clean energy . The benefits of nuclear technology far outweigh the disadvantages . Give reasons for your answer . _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _________________________ NUCLEAR POWER PROVIDES CHEAP Nuclear power provides cheap energy sources . Sometimes the present sources and energy like oil , gas etc . Will be finished . Arguments in favour nuclear power : The nuclear energy produces by chemical materials : it is comparatively cheaper than other energy . To produce the power it only involve some expert people and energy plant . Where to produce other energy it needs large involvmen like worker , machineries , etc . And also takes more time . The nuclear power plants are welprotected and monitor . That is why there is less possiblities . The threat of nuclear weapons maintains world peace because the developed countries like U . K . U . S . A Canada , Frace etc . Have nuclear weapons ( warhead ) . Each country do not give threat to other country . Because they know if one country distrusts others , h n other will create problems from them . So it is welbalanced and world peace maintains peacefully . Though there are sometimes creates problems by the nuclear technology but sometimes it also help the mankind in the field of medical and engineering sectors . In the medical field we can say by nuclear ray sometimes we can treat a canser patient . on the other hand in the field of Engineering by the nuclear power engineering can do lot of things like operate engine instead of electricity . In conclusion we can say though there are some problem in the nuclear power but it has some benefit for the mankin . ; EXAMINER COMMENTBand 5 Although the script contains some good arguments , these are presented using poor structures and the answer is not very coherent . The candidate has a clear point of view but not all the supporting arguments are linked together well and sometimes ideas are left unfinished . There is quite a lot of relevant vocabulary but this is not used skilfully and sentences often have words missing or lapse into different styles . The answer is spoilt by grammatical errors and poor ｅxpression . NUCLEAR POWER Nuclear power is an alternative source of energy which is carefully being evaluated during these times of energy problems During these years we can say that we have energy problems but in more or less 50 years , we will be facing an energy crisis . Nuclear power is an alternative source of energy and unlike othe sources such as solar energy , nuclear power is highly effective for industrial perpouses . If it is handled correctly there realy is no danger for the public . It is cheap , There is no threat of pollution and best of all it is limitless . It is difficult to think about nuclear power as a good source of energy for people in general . This is due to the use it has been given since its birth during the second world war . It is expressed as military power and in fact at the moment nuclear power is limited to few hands who consider themselves world power . When and if there is a change of idiology regarding the correct use of nuclear power , then we may all benefit from all the advantages nuclear power can give us . If we outweigh the advantages and disadvantages of nuclear technology we then have the following : As stated before , the advantages are that there is limitless supply , it is cheap , it is effective for industrial perpouse and still there are many benefits which have not yet been discovered . The disadvantages are at present time that it is limited to only a few countries who regard it as a safe military power . Also if mishandled , there is risk for the population around the plant undergo contamination as we all know happened in Crhernobyl . If these disadvantages can be overcome , then it is clear that nuclear energy can give us more benefits then problems . It will in the future be very important as the energy crisis is not far ahead . In conclusion , nuclear power is good , it can be safe , and we will all benefit . It is up to our leaders to see that it is handled well so that we can all benefit from it . EXAMINER COMMENT Band 7 The answer is well - written and contains some good arguments . It does tend to repeat these arguments but the writer ' s point of view remains clear throughout . The message is easy to follow and ideas are arranged well with good use of cohesive devices . There are minor problems with coherence and at times the ｅxpression is clumsy and imprecise . There is a wide range of structures that are well handled with only small problems mainly in the areas of spelling and word choice . _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _________________________ Supporters of technology say that it solves makes life better . Opponents argue that technology creates new problems that may threaten or damage the quality of life . Using one or two examples , discuss these two positions . Which view of technology do you support ? Why ? Now a days , in the life the technology it solves problems . But damage the quality of the life in very important . Because the many people to the quality of life is very high than the yesterday sociyat . They are use or buys goods is more good than yesterday . To the many people to need the high quality are - too many . ( 60 words ) Band 2 Demonstrates incompetence in writing . A paper in this category : — may be incoherent ; — may be undeveloped ; — may contain severe and persistent writing errors . Демонстрирует некомпетентность . _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _________________________ I agree that with the progress of technology we make our life better and easier . In many years ago , people had difficulties to travel from one place to another . For example people who wanted to come to the united states from Urope . They should prepare themselves for a very big adventure , because They had to travel the ocean by sheep and it took for them almost a month regard less of the dangers that They had to experience . But in these days people travel The same distance just by catching a plane in less than ten hours . This is the progress of technology that life easy . ( 106 words ) Band 3 Suggests incompetence in writing . A paper in this category is seriously flawed by one or more oj the following weaknesses : — serious disorganisation or underdevelopment ; — little or no detail , or irrelevant specifics ; — serious and frequent errors in sentence structure or usage ; — serious problems with focus . _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _________________________ The main point is tecnology , and what does technology do in our life , before any thing we should suggest to some technology ' s working way in doing life . Tecnology would be very useful but in some condition fo example as a nature distribting which it would be very dangrouse , but it could be very important in other way for better live and make the life ' s things to do easier . Supporthing tecnology is very important — and it would make the useful way of useing tecnology , because it needs The supporters and investing to find more and more progress in the tecnology . But sometimes tecnology makes some problem that I mantion in the begining of essay and it would very dangerous in some ways . For example factories trash makes some problems and makes the waters dirty and it ' s damage wouldn ' t be not quality easy . At the end I would like to say that soppprting of tecnology will be helpful and make life easier , but technology must be very careful to not be a danger and risky . ( 172 words ) Band 3 _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _________________________ In my own points of view I support technology can solve problems and makes life better . Such as development of computer . Computer helps human solves thousand of problems , espeaclly . science . A lot of calculation was so complex . It is impossible count them from normal method . It should use a very fast computer in order to compute it . Super conductor , one of the hot technology topic . A lot of scientists study this kind of stuff . It is a very important stuff . If we can use it in normal way . That is wnderful . We can easily solve the big problem , « energy ». Because super conductor has a special cental . It can pass through the energy without lossing . It is a Hi - technology ' s symbol . But technology also created a lot of problem . Such as industary unless thing . Human feel dizzy from them . A lot of vehicles running on the road . Creating much CO 2 . Affect the earth ' s nature condistion . Recently . The weather was so bad . Because of the CO 2 . CO 2 blocks the sun light . So the weather was inconsiderable . Finally I support technology . Because it is more benefit . ( 182 words ) Band 4 Demonstrates some developing competence in writing , but it remains flawed on either the rhetorical or syntactic level , or both . A paper in this category may reveal one or more of the following weaknesses : — inadequate organization or development ; — inappropriate or insufficient details to support or illustrate generalizations ; — a noticeably inappropriate choice of words or forms ; — an accumulation of errors in sentence structure and / or usage . _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _________________________ Many times the humans have been confronted with the counceded forces of the nature . For example , when a highway is builded through the mountains which have pronoonced landscapes , rivers , and forests . This construction could affect all the aspects of the envirounement . The question about if this is good or bad depend on the people answer it . The supporters of technology will say that the highway will allow the transportation of persons and goods between two areas faster than it was . On the other hand , opponents of technology will say that the road will damage the forests , rivers and mountains . Both arguments are valid to me because the road or highway , although it solves problems and make life more comfortable , it can be affecting the animal life in the forest that , in the future , can be dangered or extinted . However I believe that the ~~~~~ ( 144 words ) Band 4 _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _________________________ The need for technology has been with man for a long time . Because of limited physical strength but the need to move around , man has been creating tools to help him to do so easier . For example the problem of transportation has always been a major obstacle . The new technology has helped people to go to more Places at a much more faster pace . People can send and receive food from places much farther than they used to be able to do . Also new technology has been a great help in keeping people healthier , and helping them live longer . On the other hand the new technology brought pollution which is very harmful to people Also the new technology has brought more destructive power to man . The threat of nuclear war is very scarry . I think technology has created new problems for man , and these are problems with a very far away solutions . ( 152 words ) Band 5 Demonstrates minimal competence in writing on both the rhetorical and syntactic levels . A paper in this category : — addresses the writing topic adequately but may slight parts of the task ; — is adequately organized and developed ; — uses some details to support a thesis or illustrate an idea ; — demonstrates adequate but possibly inconsistent facility with syntax and usage ; — may contains some errors that occasionally obscure meaning . _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _________________________ I agree with the opponents of technology say that technology creates new problems that may threaten or damage the quality of life . The most serious problem is the pollution . Toxic wastes are being dumped into rivers , lakes and even our atmosphere . Fishes and other marine live cannot survive in polluted rivers and oceans . Also , toxic gases are being produced by cars , factories and planes . This is the main source which causes the acid rain . Acid rain has done a great damage to the forest that the quantity of trees are reducing day by day . The ozone layer — a protective layer that surrounding us in the atmosphere is earring away by wasted chemicals . That means we are lossing our protective layer and letting ultravoilet to pass through . And for us , we are breathing in a lot of polluted air which may make us ill or sometimes may cause death . Technology may solve a lot of problems but the point is the result of technology gives us disadvantages more than advantages . So I am on the side of the opponents . ( 179 words ) Band 5 _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _________________________ Technology by definition refers to the improvement of the technical know how and advancement of machinery to improve the working systems in the human society . In a way this looks a very good idea in that man ' s work would be made much faster less laborious . Machines which are the main implements of technology have a major advantage to man ' s ways of life . Take for example an aeroplane , which being a product of advance in technology has made all corners of the earth look like . They are only centimetres apart . It has made the means of communication which prior to its development was very difficult much easier and less risky . Travelling to many parts of the world which are very many miles apart now only takes a few hours or days whereas this used to take days or even months . On the other hand technology has created a number of new hazards to the health of the societies . The machines make life easy but also expose people to new problems . In the example considered above transportation has become easier by planes but these planes also expose people to accidents which have become so numerous and clain many lives daily . As we all know that a majority of these machines use fuel and that to use the fuel it has to burn there are products which we introduced into our environment . These new products include gases from automobiles which pollute the air we breathe . These gases expose us to lung diseases , cancers and number of new ailments which have not yet been fully explored . In conclusion I think that although advances in technology may seem favourable there are alot of harzards which it introduces into our ways of life . ( 287 words ) Band 6 Demonstrates competence in writing on both the rhetorical and syntactic levels , though it will probably have occasional errors . A paper in this category : — may address some parts of the task more effectively than others ; — is generally well organized and developed ; — uses details to support a thesis or illustrate an idea ; — displays facility in the use of language ; — demonstrates some syntactic variety and range of vocabulary . _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _________________________ Technology refers to the skill , knowledge and technique that human being used in production . It is used as one of the indicators of the stage of development of a society . As technology innovation occurs , the productivity and efficiency of a society can be improved . Before the invention of computer , people have to spend a lot of time in complex mathematical calculations . But now , with the aid of computers , the work which required one or two weeks may now be done within one or two hours . This give the scientists more time to spend on research and innovation . In addition to that , development of computer technology leads to another new product — robots . Robot provide much help in many aspects , for example , car assembly lines with the help of robots , the components of a car can be assembled more quickly and more accurately than that done by human hands . This results in lower cost of cars , and a better quality too . On the other hand , technology may also bring some damage to human life . As more and more factories are built , more waste and toxic materials are disposed . This leads to more air pollution and more water pollution . The former will lead to weather change such as acid rain , and the concentration of ozone which will affect the global weather . While the latter will affect the survival of the living organisms in the sea , and which in return will pollute the drinking water of human being and affects human health . Since seeking for better living environment is one of the desires of human being , technology innovation can help to achieve this goal . In order to reduce the disadvantages of technology innovation , the government has set up safety standards for the industries . And also in the process of technology innovation , a point has to be borne in mind , we have to control the technology , not we to be controlled by it . ( 318 words ) Band 6 _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _________________________ Technology threatens and inflicts damage upon our quality of life . Scientific achievement of this century is creating a wide - spread plague that would soon destroy the entire world . Let ' s take , for example , our air . Due to massive air pollution , what we breathe is not relatively safe like it used to be . The fumes from the exhaust pipes of automobiles , trucks and factories blow waste materials into the atmosphere . After a period of time , atmospheric change occur . The fumes , that were collected in the atmosphere , are slowly eating - away at the ozone layer . This layer of the atmosphere is what shields us from solar ultra - violet rays . Once this layer is gone , our natural protection against the sun would be gone , and if we were hit by one ray of the sun , we ' d burst into flames and fried into a cinder . Another plague of technology would be nuclear power . The power that can energize entire cities with electricity could also be the power to destroy . After 1945 , the research on nuclear power has increased significantly . Contrary to the belief that it is safe , nuclear power has a way of destroying whole cities . It is not like a fire that can be put out with water or CO 2 , but special equipments have to be used . Afterwards , that place would remain radioactive for quite a long time , devoid of life and sound . So you see , if technology cannot be halted , then our fate is sealed . Our end would not come about by natural means , but by our own technological achievements . And life on Earth would cease to exist . ( 264 words ) Band 7 Demonstrates clear competence in writing on both the rhetorical * nd syntactic levels , though it may have occasional errors . A paper in this category : — effectively addresses the writing task ; — is well organized and well developed ; — uses clearly appropriate details to support a thesis or illustrate ideas ; — displays consistent facility in the use of language ; — demonstrates syntactic variety and appropriate word choice . _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _________________________ There are several viewpoints on the implications of technological change and advancement and such schools of thought which considerably worry have supertive validity . Technological change has its advantages and disadvantages . For one , it is true that it partly solves problems and makes life better . At the same time , technological changes may likely create new problems thereby threatening or damaging quality of life . In the developing economies , for instance , technologicaladvantages for both its merits and dimerits . The introduction and seeming acceptability and usefulness of computers have somehow helped increase the efficiency of several firms . It is not only in the industrial sector that technological change proves to be very effective . In the agricultural sector , for example , the introduction of new technologies in increasing production has been very effective in expanding agricultural produce . There are just a few examples to illustrate the advantages of technological advancement . On the other hand , countries should be more careful on their choice of technology since it must be noted that while certain types of technology are adaptable to developed economies , the same type of technology may not fit the environment of developing countries due to differing economic , social , cultural , and political factors . For example , infrastructure improvements such as a construction of irrigation dam in the mountains of the Philippines where several natives reside may likely be resisted by the population due to cultural factors . They may prefer not to have such improvements in view of traditional values . Another example is the pollution impact of some technological improvements particularly in the industrial sectors . The choice and adaptability of new technology should therefore be carefully studied . The short , medium , and long term impact of such technology is very important particulary for developing economies . The benefits should always be greaterthan the costs . I am inclined to support both positions because both views have their own validity . However , I am more convinced that technological advancement is really beneficial to countries si long as they are aware of the disadvantages of such technology . ( 356 words ) Band 7 _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _________________________ Inventions such as eyeglasses and the sewing machine have had an important effect on our lives . Choose another invention that you think is important . Give reasons for your choice . The telephone plays a very important role in our lives . The telephone was invented by Alexander Graham Bell , a very well known inventor . Before there were telephones , communication was slow and people had to go into lots of trouble like writing letters and sending telegrams to relay a certain message to their family and friends . The telephone makes communication easy . People can talk to one another by dialling the number required . They can converse with one another even through large distances such as Malaysia to America . In emergencies such as fire or accidents , a person can call for help . This could save a lot of lives , money and properties . The telephone is very important to the business world . Companies make their orders from other companies by using the telephone . They also make business deals and pass on important news and information . By communicating through the telephone , business and managements can be done more easily and a lot of time is saved . Comparing with the post , the telephone is a faster way to relay messages . A letter would take weeks to reach a far destination but by telephoning , it would only take a few seconds . It would also save you trouble , as you would not have to go anywhere to buy stamps . Considering the reasons given , the telephone has an important effect on our lives . It makes our lives easier and improves ommunication , worldwide . ( 233 words ) Band 7