Heading off misbehavior by suggesting an acceptable alternative can mean the kid doesn ' t have to get into trouble at all You know you can ' t jump on the couch , but you could go down to the basement and jump there . Another good way to head off problems is to point out that the behavior is a problem and ask the child how they will fix it . You seem to need to jump right now , but you aren ' t supposed to jump on the couch . What could you do instead ? or Is there anyplace you could jump around ? If that doesn ' t work , stop talking or threatening consequences completely . If there is any chance she doesn ' t know that she is doing something inappropriate , tell her one time , You may not be rough with your toys . jump on couch . have snacks in the living room , etc . If the behavior continues , or if she is doing something clearly wrong , without saying anything , just stand up , walk to her , and WITHOUT SPEAKING , take her by the hand and guide her to a timeout . Set her in the corner and walk back to whatever you were doing before . After a very short timeout , tell her that timeout is over and ask her to tell you what she is going to do differently now . Be brief , matteroffact and just avoid all emotion about it . If she pitches a fit , then tell her once that timeout begins when she sits quietly . If the fit continues and is annoying to ignore , then tell her once she is ruining the peacefun for other people , so if she needs to yell , she has to go to her bedroomoutsidethe basement . whatever removed place works for you . Give her about 10 seconds to gather herself , then stand up , walk over to her and WITHOUT TALKING guide her to the bedroomwherever . You need to tell her either that she can come out when she is calm or that you will come get her when she is calm . Walk away . This is where our methods might diverge , because at this point , the kid might continue to fight you by refusing to stay where she is put . Then you need to continue to stand firm in your position by firmly , wordlessly , repeatedly replacing the child into the bedroomwherever until they realize you mean business . If you give up after 5 or 10 times , then next time the child knows she will win if she just defies you lots of times . So you cannot back down . It may mean getting a book and silently holding the bedroom door shut while the kid rages inside . If I have a kid pitching a temper tantrum , I ' ll go in and very briefly offer help a drink of water or a calming hug , but if the kid says no , I don ' t argue or insist I let them have their temper tantrum . The whole key is to not get into a discussion while disciplining . It ' s hard to do and your kid sounds like every other 4 year old I ' ve ever known ! However , the other thing I really emphasize in working with kids is making sure my rules actually make sense and that the kid understands why we have a rule and that it is based on respect for others and taking care of our property . So , afterwards , talking about what happened is usually a good idea .