yea he ' s still kickin <| sep |> No no no , you ' re doing it all wrong , have this law passed , then make it illegal for any public official or worker to access the Internet or use anything that relies on any electricity at all , including anything made using electricity . <| sep |> I talk about the far future as a way of distraction , and also to get an idea of my partner ' s feelings on things . We ' ve just moved in together , no current plans for marriage , no plans for kids . but if current present life gets too hard and exhausting , I will escape into fantasies of the future , as a way of promising myself it gets better . And I will engage my partner in these fantasies by asking him questions . How would you feel about having a destination wedding at a vineyard ? Can we go to Norway in the future ? Maybe we could stop in to Germany on the way ? How do you feel about alternative education ? If we have kids , it might be more beneficial for them . These questions often spark interesting conversations , and I often learn things about my partner that I don ' t expect . Plus , a bit of lighthearted fantasy is really relaxing . If he were to say , a vineyard wedding sounds nice , I wouldn ' t consider that an actual decision , just pillowtalk . However , his refusal to engage for no good reason ie , it ' s not that he ' s tired , he will just not give me an answer often frustrates me and prompts me to ask him again and again . I want to talk about weddings and marriage hypothetically we ' re not getting any younger , so I want to know if it ' s something we ' re going to do in the next 5 years or so and he will often fob me off , which leads me to keep on the topic in the hopes of getting a straight answer out of him . If he were to just answer , I don ' t really like the idea of pink and orange as wedding colours , then the conversation would be over and done with . I think you should talk to your girlfriend about these conversations they shouldn ' t drag on for hours , and she shouldn ' t get so upset that it breaks her heart . Maybe you should allocate specific time to talk about hypothetical futures , or limit the conversations to no more than 20 min . Also talk to her about what is the underlying issue that she interprets your lack of interest in the conversation as a lack of interest in the relationship . Maybe she feels insecure about your future together .