No , forget about the porn and masturbation , the issue is actually thisI believe part of the problem is that I focus a lot on giving pleasure rather than enjoying the sex for myself . That ' s all that it takes to not orgasm , forgetting about your selfish wishes for whatever the reasons . Some people do out of fears of being rejected , out of fears of showing themselves enjoying an orgasm . In your case , you put so much priority on the other part , that you end up forgetting about you . SeeI ' d really like to cum during sex . You want , but orgasms don ' t happen rationally . They happen when we ' re turned on and pursuing what feels good to us , and then when the feelings and thoughts involved are strong enough , we have an orgasm . Maybe you could try to think about the times you did orgasm , if you were thinking about , or doing , something particular , see if there ' s some pattern .