If anyone takes a shot at this , I ' d love to request an EastWest breakdown . <| sep |> This is essentially you saying that you don ' t want to put in work for the relationship . If every day I come home hungry and your answer is essentially there ' s a McDonalds down the street eventually I ' m coming to stop coming home . The cute office secretary keeps telling me she makes a mean prime rib , maybe I ' m gonna take her up on her offer . You can be obtuse in your refusal to compromise with your HL partner all you like , but at best all you do is frustrate them , create feelings of dissatisfaction and resentment . At worst , you lose the relationship , or you create a guy like me who IS getting full course meals with women who love to hang out . Or to drop the metaphors , I ' m cheating with women who desire sex and intimacy with me . And have come to expect little to nothing from my wife . If you go into the relationship firm in your stance of being LL and communicate that to your partner , and your partner accepts that , that ' s fine . For most of us here our partners started off with a highenough sex drive , then it dropped to little or nothing and they expected us to be okay with that . Expected us to be okay with whatever little sex they were willing to sparingly dole out . Well . we ' re not .