Shame is what you feel from internalizing a community ' s norms and then having individuals point out when you violate those norms . New friends and community can provide an alternative culture to absorb so that your own thoughts won ' t be ruled by the culture you grew up with . The Unitarian Universalists are a great community to get to know . <| sep |> No , I ' m not missing the debate . Nobody was shooting for winning the popular vote , nobody cares about it . The goal was the electoral college . You claim that the popular vote is what really matters which has it ' s own problems that you are evidently ignorant on , but whatever , but it doesn ' t matter . Had the goal been the popular vote , the candidates would have had different strategies and there is nothing to indicate Clinton would win the popular vote again . She did , because she did not , and clearly refused to , pander to lowest common denominator . I don ' t think you can argue that because she more tha Trump pandered to everyone . I ' m in Atlanta ? Oh well , I love hot sauce , I ' m in Wisconsin ? Well I certainly love the Packers , etc . To say she didn ' t pander to everyone is deliberately ignorant . She lost fair and square really because she alienated the working class whites in the rust belt , and wouldn ' t necessarily have won the popular vote if that was the goal .