Why are you more Canadian than them ? Never said that . Look , I think that all people have to be tolerant . Canada has to be tolerant of our newcomers . But , newcomers just have to accept that when they go to new place , it won ' t be exactly the same as where they came from . That ' s part of being multicultural . The things that we ' re experiencing now are growing pains that come with that . It will get better in time , although none of us will ever get everything that we want . <| sep |> Now THAT is sad . <| sep |> It ' s just hard because I feel like I lost my best friend and she is doing fine , barely phased . I ' m going to let you in on a secret , but DO NOT use this as an excuse to pursue her . She is very likely not as fine as she appears . What ' s much more likely is that she is fairly torn up as well , but she does think that it should be over , and she can ' t take the risk of talking to YOU about it because she ' s afraid it ' ll be taken as an invitation to get back together . And she ' s probably right . Even if she already has somebody else , that makes some of the situation easier for her than for you , but even then , it ' s not that simple . I ' m telling you this partly so you don ' t think she ' s a heartless bitch or that you ' re easy to get rid of or that the relationship wasn ' t worth anything . Those are all false . She ' s only acting as though everything is fine and dandy because she ' s made her decision and doesn ' t want to go back on it . I had one ONE former gf who I kept up with afterward . It ' s kind of a long story , but the short version was that I had to accept that we were great friends , but we really weren ' t suited for marriage or kids or other longterm stuff . I love her to death , and I think she loves me , but we ' re married to other people because she and I can only be friends . More than that just doesn ' t work . It sucks being newly single , and it sucks infinitely more when it was the other person who made The Call . It feels awfully fucking unfair that you don ' t get any say in it , especially when you felt like this was one of your closest friends . And it ' s important to SAY that it fucking sucks , and why . At least to yourself . It would hurt her tell your friends but don ' t discuss this with her . When you ' re in a bunch of pain , you should always have a firm handle on where it comes from . Because what happens next ? What happens next is that you ' re out doing something stupid like grocery shopping and for apparently no reason you end up talking to some girl in the checkout line and the next thing you know you have a date . You owe it to the new girl and you owe it to yourself to at least know the score . If you ' re still a mess , you can tell the New Girl , I ' m still kind of a mess , but I don ' t want that to screw this up . Don ' t lead with that . But she ' ll figure you out pretty quick , so be honest when the time comes . She deserves to know that you still hurt , because she needs to know that she ' s not the reason . She ' ll also be perfectly happy to help you forget your previous girlfriend . so long as she believes she ' s not just a rebound girl and you ' re still pining for Lost Love . No girl wants to be the silver medal . She wants a chance to prove she ' s the best for you . So be ready to give her that chance . Sorry this was so long . Breakups are messy . I ' d come hang out with you if you lived around here . And I ' m sorry things ended up this way with your former gf . Like the man says , If you ' re going through Hell , keep going . I know you probably don ' t even want another girl right now , but she ' s out there . My hope is that by the time she meets you , your close enough to Full Awesome that you can make the most of it .