POC Column: Dear White People
By Melanie Curry| July 3, 2020
"It's sad, really, that I'm numb to these things. So numb that when I saw the video of George Floyd's murder, I didn't feel surprised, angry, frustrated, or sad."
I once had a small, insignificant, ten-minute conversation with my high school friend Kelis that my mind will never let me forget.
One day, Kelis walked into a Georgian Nordstrom to window shop, and a white sales associate approached and repeatedly asked her if she needed anything. Kelis told them no and kept browsing. After ten minutes, Kelis looked up and found the same associate staring at her, scrutinizing her every move. It became apparent that as a young, 17-year-old Black woman, Kelis was being followed for browsing clothes. She immediately left and didn't say a word to the associate as she passed.
When I heard this story, I laughed—not because it was funny, but because instances like this are so common in my community. It's like drinking a cup of coffee when you wake up in the morning. I was numb to Kelis' experience being racially profiled because I've heard so many like it. If I walked into a Chanel store, I wouldn't be surprised if I noticed a store associate peeking at my movements every five minutes.
There's no words I can write that will encompass what I felt. When I saw a white police officer, with a casual and unemotional demeanor, kneeling on a Black man's neck while he pleads for a breath of air, I was reminded of a feeling. Floyd's murder reminded me that Black people are "inferior" to whites—an inferiority so great that their knees are pressed against our necks, crushing our windpipes, and rendering us incapable of doing anything other than cry to our moms and pray this isn't our last few moments on this earth. But this execution is not new.
Michael Brown, 18. October 22, 2014. "I don't have a gun. Stop shooting."
Trayvon Martin, 16. February 26, 2012. "What are you following me for?"
Amadou Diallo, 23. February 4, 1999. "Mom, I'm going to college."
John Crawford III, 22. August 5, 2014 "It's not real."
Do you remember these names like I do? I can never forget. These quotes, according to Seven Last Words, are the last words of four victims of police brutality. But let's not fool ourselves into thinking that there are just four victims; there's more than just five, ten, or even a hundred. Black people make up roughly 13 percent of the population, but are 2.5 times more likely to be killed by the police than any other race.
But it's not just the police that have killed us.
Remember lynching? Let's not forget about another threat against Black lives. The National Association for the Advancement of Colored People states that 4,743 people were lynched from 1882 to 1968. 72.7 percent of those lynched were Black. How many lynchers were prosecuted for their hate crimes? Oh wait—lynching wasn't considered a hate crime until February 26, 2020 when the House of Representatives passed the Emmett Till AntiLynching Act, which made lynching a federal hate crime. It took over a century for justice to be served. And while this is a step towards justice for Blacks, we're still waiting.
We're still waiting on justice for Rodney King. Trayvon Martin. Sean Bell. Sandra Bland. We're still waiting for justice for so many whose names are longer than this article's word count.
We've been hunted for decades, generations, and even centuries. Each time, we fight, scream, and shout just to be seen and heard. We ask for human decency. We ask for equality. And the conversation always shifts to something else.
"He's not a victim." "He's a thug." "A menace to society." "His death was his own fault."
It's always the same rhetoric. It's so easy to blame the victim when he can't defend himself, but when does responsibility ever lie on the police? Why is the victim's past brought up in court rooms to determine his right to live? I never knew not graduating high school was an indicator my life wasn't valued or worthied.
I see how people on Instagram and TikTok are surprised that the police treat African American men much worse than white people or even Black women. And when listening to comments I wonder, "How could you have not known?" There've been so many incidents before George Floyd, before Ahmaud Arbery, and before Breonna Taylor.
Have you not seen the vicious 24-hours news cycle depicting the tragedies of Laquan McDonald, Tamir Rice, Philando Castile, and so many others? Their deaths were shown repeatedly on networks like CNN, FOX, and NBC. My Black brothers and sisters watched these men's last few moments, wondering and waiting when our time would be next.
So I ask, dear white people, where were you before George Floyd died? Were you outraged like I was? Were you so angered by the brutalities passing you by left and right as justice failed to be served, swallowing up your emotions, leaving you empty and hollow inside?
It may be news to you or for another white person thinking America is truly a post-racial society. But for me? For my family? My people? This is our reality. So what do you want me to say? That this is wrong? I know it is. That this is injustice? I know that too. I don't have much to say because what else is there to say? I've explained so many things in so many different ways that if you don't understand now, I'm not sure you ever will.
So, dear white people, here are my questions to you:
What happens when the hashtag Black Lives Matter stops trending? Are Black people's lives worth the same as yours? Are you privileged? Is racism over? Has it ever been over? Are you afraid to walk out your house? Are you afraid to pass the police? Are you afraid that one day your children will be gunned down in the streets? Are you afraid for your life?
But most of all, do you hear our pain? See our pain? Feel our pain?
I hope you do now.
11 Responses to "POC Column: Dear White People"
Johnsteely on July 4th, 2020 11:52 am
I'm white I didn't think I was white privileged but after reading your article I think back . I've never been refused service, I've never been refused a lone , I've never felt out of place . I've been free for generations and thinking back blacks have been free for 40 years . Blacks are the only race called by the color of there skin . Yes I agree things have to change . And by the way I'm 78 years old and a veteran served with some of the best friends who were black and would die for there white brother because there is no color in war
Holli on July 4th, 2020 4:55 pm
White lives matter too!
Angela on July 4th, 2020 6:21 pm
I was beyond horrified and outraged seeing George Floyd in such a chokehold hold; ANY chick hold would have been unacceptable in his situation! I watched the complete camera angles and timeline available for that whole event. Deplorable!
Then I watched our country's reaction. Or rather, the hijacking of George Floyd's death. I believe that ALL LIVES MATTER!!! FROM CONCEPTION TO NATURAL DEATH!!!
I WILL NOT ERASE MY COUNTRY'S HISTORY JUST TO APPEASE LIBERALS with fascist, socialist and communist leanings.
I BELIEVE THAT ALL HUMANS ARE CREATED EQUAL IN GOD'S EYES—WE ALL WANT RESPECT, DIGNITY, TO BE HEARD, ACKNOWLEDGED AND APPLAUDED FOR OUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS!!!
We were given the TEN COMMANMENTS so we could live together on this earth. We were given choice in free will, NOT TO CREATE THE PERFECT HELL that was created in SEATTLE And other places, but the free will to TALK (NOT YELL, SCREAM, MURDER, BURN, ASSAULT, RAPE, SHOOT) and even disagree WITH each other.
I WILL NOT GO ON BENDED KNEE TO APOLOGISE FOR MY SKIN COLOR BEING WHAT I WAS BORN WITH. BENDED KNEE IS FOR GOD ALMIGHTY!!!From what I have seen in life during my 58 years is people of all colors have something in common: prick us and we bleed…RED!!!
What we are seeing is reaction to FEAR!!! Well, I fear THE CHINESE COMMUNIST PARTY MORE!!! NOT THE CHINESE PEOPLE. THE CCP.
PEOPLE OF ALL COLORS, LOOK AROUND YOU! Who profits the most from this CHAOS? NOT you or I. I nearly fell over in a dead gain at Speaker of the House Palosi and her Fellows wearing stoles and kneeling when they don't even know the cultural significance (as I also don't—I haven't researched them yet, just saw some of our priests from Malawi and Kenya wearing them) in Submission. Disgraceful! I expect better behavior out of myself and others during a Pandemic and certainly out of a nation that gave us tremendous leaders as Martin Luther King, Jr, George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, George Washington Carver, Booker T. Washington, Theodore Roosevelt and great men as James Earl Jones, Sidney Poitier.
Brandon on July 4th, 2020 6:23 pm
Trayvon Martin wasn't killed by a police officer. Doesn't change the message of the article nor does that mean his killing was ok. Thought it was worth mentioning.
Marguerite Coleman on July 4th, 2020 8:49 pm
I am saddened, anxious and more aware of my surroundings. I pray every day for the Black lives murdered, for no other reason than they were black. When will this end ??? Probably not in my lifetime. Yet, I'll continue to pray and try to understand why this still goes on 😢😢😢😢
Rhonda on July 4th, 2020 9:29 pm
First of all those were not Michael Brown's last words. He was not innocent. He had beaten an old shop owner brutally and stole from him. He had attacked the police officer and tried to get his gun! All of this was reported by a black witness at trial! After attempting to take the police officer's gun he walked off and turned around to threaten him! He had already wrestled with him and attempted to take his weapon! The officer yelled to stop! He continued to threaten and to advance toward the officer in a threatening manner! so the officer shot in self defense! The man he had beaten was also hurt!
Curtis on July 4th, 2020 11:41 pm
First of all, kudos to Melanie for an intelligent and candid article.
When, as race, you have been brutalized, marginalized, criminalized and dehumanized as long as black people have, unfortunately, white people will always assert that we are overreacting, playing the race card, or simply playing victim. There is hardly a black person in America that hasn't been racially profiled or faced racial discrimination. For whites, It's as ingrained and natural as a bowel movement .
Yet, white people continue to try to hijack the narrative about racism—-mainly that very little exists, and that black people are solely responsible for their own plight!! Completely disregarding the lasting effects of Slavery; Jim Crow; KKK; lynchings, institutional racism; Banking discrimination; housing discrimination;Police brutality; healthcare discrimination; Educational discrimination;Judicial system discrimination;voter suppression…need I continue?? This Institutionalized racism causes untold lifelong inequality and devastation.
400 years of Slavery and all the aforementioned inequities will never allow whites to equivocate, regardless of how hard they may try.
Jonathan on July 10th, 2020 9:29 am
Sorry, but I disagree.
If you want other people's perspective of your community to change, you must first initiate that change of perception by a change in your community.
The Black Lives Matter movement today has been hijacked. The message of the movement initially was to bring social justice to those whose lives were devastated by the police. It has done way more than that, and morphed into a twisted, corrupt movement that destroys public and private property, incites riots and has unleashed more racial tension and resentment towards the Black community, going opposite of what the entire civil rights movement and Dr. Martin Luther King had done during his tenure. BLM does not want to join, they want to divide. Nowadays, people get fired for saying they don't blindly support this atrocity, people who dare say otherwise are cancelled from their public lives and shunned from social circles.
When it comes to police brutality, yes, black lives matter. However, when you look for social justice, look into places like Chicago, where as of the weekend of June 29th (Saturday and Sunday) a total of 63 shootings happened where 13 people lost their lives. In one CITY. How much Black-on-Black crime happens in Minneapolis, Atlanta, DC, Baltimore, Los Angeles and Oakland? Comparing to 13 black deaths to police officers in 2019 in the entirety of the USA (not minimizing life here, death at the hands of police is still a death, and it should be mourned just as respectfully as the deaths of those in Chicago who did NOT die at the hands of the police), but placing blame squarely on police is a cheap shot. Are we saying with Black Lives Matter that a death at the hands of a police officer is more valuable than the Black on Black crime-related deaths that happens in America every day and the media forgets to mention? Why don't they mention it? Because Black on Black Crime IS THE NORM NOWADAYS! How ludicrous is this?
You want to change that? Change your community from within! Education is the answer. An educated mind is a free mind. Why is it that cities like Baltimore, Atlanta and Chicago, which are run by Black mayors, are constantly plagued with crime and abysmal living standards? Systemic racism? It sounds like an excuse. White Privilege also is such an overused expression nowadays. Education, education and more education. There is a new buzzword in the black community. How about building, instead of tearing down. How about building bridges with many other races in the US, how about an open dialog without shouting over each other and forcing your opinions down people's throats?
As long as Black people are kept uneducated and under the thumb of their Masters (the color of the Master doesn't matter, in the aforementioned cities, the Master can be Black or White, the rhetorick is always the same: Change is always at the horizon, election time is filled with Joy and Hope, but at the end, it never comes), and yet, now our country is being torn apart as anger gets directed in the opposite direction of where it should go, and I am so sick and tired of this. As soon as literacy rates rise and you have Science, Technology, Engineering and Math spread throughout schools in the Black community, then the healing can begin where Blacks truly feel free, as then, the standards of living will rise.
I watched a video of an Armed Black militia member, intimidating what looked like a White suburban dad in a Dodge Caravan, most likely on an outing with his family. I got sick to my stomach watching that. Is that what the Black Lives Matter is turning into? An organization run by thugs, out to destroy every single white (or every other race, for that matter) because they didn't get a fair share in life? Newsflash! Success isn't a given. You gotta earn your bread.
Tearing down monuments because in your opinion it highlights "systemic racism" is NOT OK! Destruction of public and private property is NOT OK! Throwing rocks, concrete milkshakes at people, Doxxing, Getting people fired from their jobs for having a different point of view is NOT OK!
I speak that from experience. I am a mixed-race immigrant, who came to this country with nothing, and yet I believe I have achieved my American Dream. I am a productive member of society with a college degree and a relatively high-paying job. If I can do it, anyone can. This is still the country of opportunity. And it breaks my heart to see someone saying they never got a shot at that dream, when opportunities are, every day, around them!
We feel your pain, but we also expect you to lick your wounds and move on to betterment, just like the rest of us.
Ivan Burkheimer on July 10th, 2020 4:00 pm
Sorry about the typos just had surgery on one of my hands and it goes all over the place everyone have a good Friday and be kind to each other besides us all that's left is politicians and there not got gonna do a damn thing
Dylan Rossiter on July 10th, 2020 4:07 pm
Hi Ivan, your previous comment was deleted because it violated our community standards. Specifically, your use of profanity was found to be in violation of the guidelines stated above. Thank you for taking the time to read this column.
deborah blanchard on July 31st, 2020 11:42 am
I totally agree with Jonathan. And even if Michael Brown had been white it would have ended the same. Try grabbing a cop's gun and coming at him will get you shot. So the whole outrage over that is ridiculous. It seems like you have taken personal responsibility off the table when it comes to black people They get a free pass on that, which could be a big part of the problem. And if BLM really cared about black lives why don't they start trying to fix their communities and deal with blacks killing blacks? How many blacks are killed each year by their own race and compare that to 15 blacks killed in a year by cops. That is crazy I mean everyone has freedom of choice, you can be whatever you want to be but you have to work for it. A black man held the highest office in the world for TWO terms. He didn't get elected by the black vote only. Teach personal responsibility and quit acting like they don't have a say in their future. BTW the same things happen to whites. ALL the same things but we are not given the privilege of having a free pass on being held accountable for one's actions. Playing victim has now become a career choice