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How To Be Single On Valentine's Day
| Arts+Culture, being single, Being Single on valentine's Day, Channing Tatum, Magic Mike, valentine's day
Katie Chen |
February 2, 2014 | 7:14 p.m. PST
Valentine's Day is fast approaching, and everyone's frantically searching for plans - single or not. The couples are thinking of special plans (God help you if you're a monogamous man and forgot... Here's your reminder). Singles are grabbing their single ladies and gents together to watch horror films and/or drink lots of beer. Whichever group you belong to, let me ask: Are you excited for February 14?!
That was a rhetorical question. The answer is no.
Valentine's Day, like its other annual counterparts, is a paradoxical roller coaster of emotion. In the same way Christmas is a battle between feelings of holiday happiness and mind-numbing stress, Valentine's Day is a self-dichotomy of caring about Valentine's Day and not caring about anything it represents. In dealing with the mental turmoil that happens around holidays, there is a ton of advice floating around the internet on how to deal with yourself. But, here's the list of what you should really do come February 14th.
(saranghe123/Tumblr)
1. Avoid lining up a Valentine's Day date.
For some (myself included), this comes almost naturally. But, for you unfortunate souls with a line of suitors outside your door, this first step can be achieved in a number of ways.
You can try some new happenings with your makeup (google 'Halloween horror nights' to get some ideas), do not shower for the weeks leading up to Feb. 14 (now would be an ideal time to start), or speak in deep-Amazonian tongues when engaging with the opposite sex.
Before you move on, please actually shower. I can't believe you actually listened to me about that.
2. Pick your top 3 Rom-coms and watch their big-screen foils.
Then, take note of the lead actors, throw away the rom-coms, and pick those actors' worst movies. After, watch all three of these movies, and immediately feel superior that you haven't starred in such a terrible movie. Here's an example:
The Rom-coms: The Notebook (Rachel McAdams), What Women Want (Mel Gibson), & The Proposal (Ryan Reynolds)
(letxy_/Flickr)
(jovisala47/Flickr)
(@rina/Flickr)
The Alternative films: The Hot Chick, Million Dollar Hotel, Green Lantern (but he does get bonus points for the skin-tight green outfit)
(flickposter/Flickr)
3. Get out!
But, don't just have any single ladies' or gents' night. Kick it up a notch, and do something you would never do. That can range from dropping a mug you don't like on the floor to jumping off a 60-foot high rock.
Whatever you end up doing, may the ultimate reminder be that Valentine's Day is just another day. It's not Single's Awareness Day. If you're single, every day is Singles Awareness Day. And it's not the day of capital L-O-V-E love. In a relationship, shouldn't you be spending every day like it's Valentine's Day? (Insert cheesy smile here.)
If you're at the end of this article reading this and still don't feel satisfied with going V-Day in solitude, well then, here's Channing Tatum stripping just for you. Happy Valentine's Day, all.
Reach Contributor Katie Chen here. Follow her on Twitter here.
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