Wait, another job?
Posted on March 27, 2018 by Sonoran Conservative
Okay, folks, time to buy a space in the pool.
This will be my final thread on this account. I've just been retained to manage a small weekly newspaper in a Midwestern state. As I know this account is stalked by right wing morons who will try to stalk out my location in an attempt to foul the waters… /1
— The Liberal Grouch (@LiberalGrouch18) March 27, 2018
…like they tried (and failed) to get me kicked out of an apartment, like they tried (and failed) to get me kicked out of a part-time job, like they tried (and succeeded) to vandalize a car I owned when I was required to reveal my address in a court case… /2
…I will not give them the info they would need to track me. Let them work at it. Or better yet, they should take my new job as a sign that I am moving on with my life and they should move on with theirs. For everyone else, it's been real and it's been fun. But not REAL fun. B
Let me get this straight:
The job in New Mexico didn't work out. Wonder why?
Rebranding didn't work out. Wonder why?
Relationship didn't work out? Wonder why?
Everyone get out your Feldtcharts of Failure to calculate when he loses his next gig. I think the pool is going to be pretty big this time!
Update: Since he shut down his twitter, I added a screen shot from my Tweetdeck to ensure those tweets don't get lost.
And I have a few more questions:
How does this play out with your Stage IV Progressive Parkinson's Disease?
Are you going to be allowed to lay down every ten minutes?
Do they know you write about satire and parody using poop and sex with men and boy scouts?
Anyone want to bet he's being forced to move and will have to live his life in a very different way?
This entry was posted in Can't make this up... and tagged Abject Failure, Bill Schmalfeldt, Dumbass by Sonoran Conservative. Bookmark the permalink.
45 thoughts on "Wait, another job?"
gb420 on March 27, 2018 at 10:52 am said:
Put me down for the valor stealing Parkinson's faking shitbag golf cleating himself Fridays May 25.
The Shoveler on March 27, 2018 at 10:55 am said:
So you think the new "job" starts May 21st?
May 14 but giving benefit of the doubt
Wow, that's a pretty unbelievable fantasy life he has.
Where's the fantasy? He is admitting he lost his job all by himself. He lost his apartment all by himself. And he lost his "woman" all by himself.
The only fantasy which is more a delusion is someone bothering to slash his tires when the reality those beat down curbed tires gave up the ghost when he tried to parallel park.
Oh, and that he's an awesome writer. I forgot about that.
Oh, and he wants to just move on, I forgot about that too.
Hmmm… Never mind it is quite the fantasy he portrays, much like his fantasy Parkinson's that precluded him from doing a "job" probably not unlike the one he was "hired" for now.
Ps- Hey William! Thanks for admitting no one but you had anything to do with your loss of jobs or apartments. I'll be sure to tweetsave this for your next LOLsuit.
SecurityFlunky on March 27, 2018 at 5:49 pm said:
Do we have confirmation that pinky snaggletooth gave him the boot?
BusPassOffice on March 28, 2018 at 2:31 pm said:
Wouldn't it be a bounce
Dr_Mike on March 28, 2018 at 4:39 pm said:
More like a splat…
Oh, and LOL at the valor stealing Parkinson's faking shitbag William schmalfeldt still sticking to the story that his own curving of his tires was the work of vandals.
Never change, shitbag, never change.
Curbing…. Damn autocorrupt
DeplorableRican on March 27, 2018 at 10:56 am said:
What a freaking professional victim…..NO ONE vandalized his car the LUZER had worn out the tires.
My God he thinks that anyone would go to that much trouble over him? What a blowhard!
Boston Bob on March 27, 2018 at 12:48 pm said:
What I can't fathom about this dark little fantasy of his: Who would drive for hours with the intent to slash his tires and then only slash two? And only slash his tires? That's some serious underachievement.
Pablo on March 27, 2018 at 5:18 pm said:
Purely as a matter of hypothetical conjecture, if I were to bother to undertake interstate travel in order to put myself in immediate proximity of DUMBFUCK in order to stab something, it wouldn't be the tires on his hoopty. I suspect I'd be trying to find a neck.
But then think of the lulz we'd miss if he couldn't repeatedly bounce the pillars of his life into curbs!
theman9876 on March 27, 2018 at 11:34 am said:
If he is genuinely concerned about a job he is seeking, why would he mention it? Why say anything about it………EVER? Just go to work, do your job, then go home, drink JWR. What's the motivation to tweet to people you believe wish you harm, only to tell them this is his final tweet?
Because he just can't quit us. Haven't you followed all his IMAX level projections about HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGE??
His life is so shitty, so absolutely pathetic, the only attention anyone pays him is on these blogs. He can't give that up because he doesn't know how.
theman9876 on March 27, 2018 at 12:02 pm said:
I believe you are correct, these blogs are all he has to show for a life lived at the margins of society. Nothing positive, nothing of intrinsic value, no friendships, no grandchildren, no children. It's difficult to apply logic and reason when evaluating Bill Schmalfeldt decisions. Especially his decision to announce another new job to those he believes wish him harm. It's not like he is looking for "material" for his next lolsuit. Right?!?
Because he is going to brag about this new "job" tomorrow. He can't resist. Because if he doesn't, and somehow we actually don't find out where this fantasy is, then when he is fired as he inevitably will be, he can't blame us.
He will blame us regardless. No one winds up where he is in life if you take even an iota of responsibility for your choices.
He is the World's Greatest Oversharer and he simply cannot help himself.
The Shoveler on March 27, 2018 at 12:02 pm said:
"Manage a small weekly newspaper in a Midwestern state" translates to "write up the hookers advertising in the back pages".
How long did he last in the last job in "his town" where "people knew him" ? Then cut that by half before the next group toss his ass . And I thought ""Manage a small weekly newspaper in a Midwestern state" actually meant "answer phones in the offices of a small weekly newspaper in a Midwestern state"
Dianna on March 28, 2018 at 7:11 am said:
I suspect it's "lay out wire service stories in the template supplied by someone competent, leave space for the local news and the obits. Otherwise, just answer the phone, m'kay?"
Hey, I wonder how he'll manage to screw that up?
Phone, train.
Sonoran Conservative on March 28, 2018 at 7:14 am said:
When he decides to change the on-hold music to one of his parody songs.
JorgXMcKie on March 28, 2018 at 4:03 pm said:
And you just know he would want to do that.
"I wonder how"
Oh Diana, that's easy
He'll open his mouth
crawford421 on March 28, 2018 at 3:49 pm said:
So will it be the stench or the noise that ends his "career"?
Paul Krendler on March 28, 2018 at 8:53 pm said:
Embrace the power of 'AND,' my friend!
BJ54 on March 27, 2018 at 12:15 pm said:
I know! Let's really hurt his feelings: let's ignore the stupid goof. Don't even give him the pleasure of responding about his failures. It's what he says he wants. Want to bet he tweets enough to prove that's a lie, too?
Boston Bob on March 27, 2018 at 1:25 pm said:
If no one bothers to find out anything about his present circumstances, I'm sure he'll spill enough information so that we all know where he is and what he is doing. Otherwise, how can he blame others when he fails?
Bobber on March 27, 2018 at 1:46 pm said:
First and foremost, my brother is as liar. Always has been.
Second, if he isn't lying about the job, he will expose his new city in less than two weeks. If you piled up all the times he has said he just wants to move on and live his life, the adjacent pile of the times he has failed to do so is just as huge. Same for the pile of times be blamed others for his own failures.
Third, after he volunteers his city, my stupid brother will tell everyone his address. That might take another three weeks.
Finally, he will re-insert himself — like he was never able to stop me from doing to him — into the Brett Kimberlin saga. He simply can't help himself, the masochist.
And Bill said you were the retard…
Yeah, did I mention he lies?
This Other Latin F*cker on March 27, 2018 at 1:58 pm said:
The scumbag Valor Stealing, govt tit sucking coward is now going to manage a newspaper when he was "too sick" to sit at home and answer customer service calls for NIH? What kind of Parkinson's does he have that forces him to quit a cushy gig, go on the govt tit for years, then suddenly get better so he can have a job again? Reverse Parkinson's?
Sinusoidal Parkinson's.
LOL! Best description ever! I am so using that!
I can't stand it when tolf hold back..
John "Minemyown" Doe on March 27, 2018 at 7:57 pm said:
I guess he took being "shadowbanned on Twitter" hard.
AJ Fornicarius Hoc on March 28, 2018 at 4:48 am said:
Oh, I get it. He's an "investigative reporter" because he goes to extreme measures like using Google Street View and Been Verified (lol) and such. That's high-toned sumbitchin' detective-type work right there. So paying even the slightest attention to his obvious tells and "finding" a guy who can't resist publicly documenting his every move is "stalking."
"…manage…" Heh. As if. That might be the job description, but it's not a synonym for "run into the trash heap" so there's no way he can actually do it. If it's even real, it'll just be another thing he was manifestly unqualified to even attempt, and utterly failed.
Paul Krendler on March 28, 2018 at 6:27 am said:
Most "management" positions don't involve mops, buckets and plungers, do they?
lorddewclaw on March 28, 2018 at 6:55 am said:
"Custodial Manager"
… in a place with only one custodian.
You better manage that plunger better, Fatass… the toilet is still backed up.
Neal N. Bob on March 28, 2018 at 9:41 am said:
Did Gail teach him how to do that before she went out? If not, it could explain the inability to keep a home afterward.
AJ Fornicarius Hoc on March 28, 2018 at 12:03 pm said:
Not in the hands-on sense that a two-hitch Navy professional gold-brick is qualified for, no.
http://www.clintonherald.com/news/local_news/dunkin-donuts-coming-to-clinton/article_562421ac-0d8f-598a-811d-faaf917b12c9.html
Think I found out where
Founded in 1856, the Clinton Herald is the Gateway area's source for local news and sports.
The Clinton Herald will be the dependable source for local news; provide our readers a public forum to express their needs, interests and concerns; and engage in community activities that enhance the image and character of our newspaper and our communities.
CNHI
The Clinton Herald is a part of Community Newspaper Holdings Inc. (CNHI), one of the leading publishers of local news and information in the United States.
Founded in 1997, CNHI's newspapers, websites and niche publications serve more than 130 communities throughout the United States.
CNHI publications strive to be leading providers of local news and information in their communities. CNHI values excellence, integrity, respect for employees and a customer focus in all of its operations.
CNHI is a privately owned company based in Montgomery, Alabama.
For more information visit http://www.cnhi.com.
Wow, just imagine the look on an HR managers face if they find out one of their 130 community papers hired a child harasser, dead baby harasser, serial adjudicated harasser, and boutique child pornographer as a managing editor
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