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Language of Listening® Parenting
Check out what people are saying about our unique parenting approach:
"I'm part of several mom groups...When I mentioned the Language of Listening® concepts to some of the moms, I think my passion and gratitude for what I've learned came across and the moms (especially the organizers of the groups) want to learn more. So that's why I bought 5 of the books!"
— Kimberly - Austin, TX
"Say What You See is an easy parenting strategy that really works."
— Dr. Laura Markham – ahaparenting.com
"I just love your approach. It so simply and beautifully sums up what everyone is trying to say about positive parenting."
— Tracy Cutchlow (child 3) – author of Zero to Five: 70 Essential Parenting Tips Based on Science - zerotofive.net
" 'Say what you see' is the simplest advice I've ever heard. It works like magic."
— Zuzana, mothering.cz, Czech Republic (child 2)
"Language of Listening" has been without a doubt THE MOST POWERFUL approach to working with children that I have ever encountered in my 9 years as a Montessori guide (and now 4 years as a parent). I could tell you so many stories about how it's helped me guide my very spirited 4-year old through the rough waters of adjusting to a new sibling, and it's even helped me with my marriage!
— Pilar B., thefullmontessori.com, Montessori Guide, Mom of 2
"Your techniques have made it easy on tired days and when we are presented with new things we don't know how to approach. It truly has made such a huge difference in my toddler's life."
— Megan, Family Practice Physician (children 3, 2, 7 mo), Minnesota
"I love, love, love this book! My wife and I use it continuously, and I recommend it to my friends and clients. Thank you for keeping the book simple, because it really is."
— Robert Dunn, Family Therapist in Training (children 20 mo, another on the way), Nashville
"Sandy, I have been pointing out strengths like crazy. It seems the more you do it, the more strengths show up. It really makes for a much more pleasant day. I can survive the summer!"
— Brenda (children 4, 7, 9)
"...so clear and deep at the same time. This is the most authentic, raw, real approach to parenting that I've come across. Not just to parenting, but to 'humaning.' "
— Jennie (children 4, 6)
"For our family, it has allowed us to assist our anxious daughter with her swings through big emotions resulting from my sons unstable health. And, incredibly, it has helped my almost 3yr old son who has few words and Dravet syndrome. When he is In a fit of anger, if I say what I see, he immediately calms and I believe, feels understood when he lives in a world where few people understand him. Thank you for that gift."
Joelle - Alberta, Canada (children 3, 5)
"Very practical!"
— David (children 5, 10)
"Say What You See is a Magical Mantra!! I don't have to think about what the appropriate thing to say is, I just say what I see, and it works like magic :-)"
— Kavita (children 2, 6)
More Language of Listening® testimonials
"Say What You See is a great, easy way to relate to a child without getting stuck in 'What should I say?' What to say is right in front of you – you just need to put it into words objectively. I can always do that!"
— Beth (children 3, 7) Ithaca, NY
"The Can Do response has COMPLETELY changed our lives...plus adding Strengths has helped our relationship. My son is so much happier; so am I...It's great!!"
— Rebecca (child 3)
"No where else have I read about or heard about such sane, compassionate, intuitive, and empowering strategies."
— Rev. Linda Martella-Whitsett, Spiritual Parenting online radio co-host
"I wish I'd had this when my kids were little."
— Linda, Joanne, Kathy - Grandmothers
"Say What You See is the missing link for making the world a better place."
— Adrian (children 8 mo, 2)
"It's how to make things simple."
— Kristen (child 2)
"Sandy just came to Houston to give a presentation at my child's school, St. Catherine's Montessori, and I can't thank you enough!! The approach is already working! Thank you, thank you!!"
— Elizabeth (child 7)
SAY WHAT YOU SEE® Handbook
Check out what people tell us after reading the book:
"So concise. There's more on each page of this little book than in all the other parenting books I've ever read."
— Teresa – Austin, TX (child 5)
Recommendation from Aha! Parenting website: "This little gem, packed with examples and illustrations, is a simple, elegant, user-friendly guide to giving the healthy feedback that all children need. Highly recommended."
Recommendation from Hands Free Mama blog: "Another powerful resource is an easy-to-read book called "Say What You See." This book offers a simple strategy that all parents can use in explosive moments that can bring a calm and beneficial response. The strategy described in the book can also be used in other situations when your child is having difficulty and you are not sure what to say. I highly recommend it!"
— Rachel Macy Stafford – handsfreemama.com
From her review on Amazon: "This book quite simply changed my entire parenting style! It's an easy read (for all of us parents who rarely find time to luxuriate with a good book) and Blackard's ideas really do work - immediately! It changed my thinking!"
— Tammy Headley (parent)
"Sandy, when I read your book, it seemed as if everything I try to teach in about 20 hours has been said in the nicest and most concise possible way. I love it! I have been talking about your website and the book to everyone ever since I came across it."
— Seema Omar, Counselor - Colombo, Sri Lanka
"I just sat down last night and read the whole book. It is so good. So on point. I kept tearing up thinking if I had been given the chance growing up to have those responses how different I'd feel. I've been implementing them today, starting with saying what I see...I wish I could buy one for everyone I know!"
— Elizabeth (children 5, 3, 8 mo. twins), CA
Review on Amazon: "As a teacher and parent, this book has transformed my daily interactions with the children around me. As a person, part of a community, it has deepened my love for those around me, giving me a way to 'see' and appreciate them more fully."
— Danean Davis - Alabaster, AL (preschool teacher and parent)
"It is fantastic. The title says it all, 'Say What You See.' " I use your ideas in my classroom and they WORK!!!
— Anne – Round Rock, TX (children 5, 8, 10)
"Say What You See makes what seems complicated, simple."
— Risa Mandell, Clinical Social Worker – Philadelphia, PA
"I found your book in the 'L.A. Parent magazine.' I think it caught my attention because it sounded similar to the 'How to Talk so Kids Will Listen' books, which I'd already read. Your approach is so much simpler, though. It makes it a lot easier to put into practice."
— Suzanne – Los Angeles, CA (parent)
"Thank you for taking the time to develop such an easy to read booklet, I have recommended it to many parents, and have some early childhood services who also now feel the booklet may be helpful."
— Donna Broadhurst, School Support Therapist, Adelaide Metro Mental Health, Australia
"I read it online, tried it with my grandson, and it worked!"
— Grandmother
"This elegantly simple and wonderfully effective approach to parenting is THE essential tool for anyone desiring to help children grow to their highest potential! The more I read it, the more I appreciate the depth of love and wisdom that it embodies."
— Merrily Jones, MS, Licensed Professional Counselor - Austin, TX
More Say What You See® book testimonials
"I just had to buy 2 copies, one for myself and one to donate to our group's little library of sensational books. Thank you with all my heart for the book, I've already been putting it's lessons into practice with my 7 yr old and my new verbal actions are receiving positive responses from him.
— Jane (child 7) - Brisbane, Australia
"She presents the concepts and techniques in a simple, easy-to-retain way that every sleep-deprived, toddler-challenged parent will appreciate."
— Monica (child 2) – Attachmentmama.com
"I was referred to your website by a relationships counselor... [I read it online and] can't wait to receive the booklet, I am donating the extra copies to my local kindergarten, child care centre and the primary school my children attend. Thank you for your inspirational work!"
— Lois (children 5, 6, 8) – Parkside, S. Australia
"The skills Sandy outlines have been the single most helpful thing for me in terms of practical application of gentle discipline and how to talk to my toddler in a way that works for both of us."
— Mother - Austin, TX (child 2)
"My best friend is the owner of a daycare. I told her about the part in the book where there was a problem with the child going to school…She tried it with her son who was having problems with starting kindergarten, and she was amazed at the results in something so simple. Just saying she understood."
— Angela – Elgin, TX
"Your book for parents and teachers is probably the most practical and profound I've seen…[After watching the DVD] I find myself saying what I see more than ever before, in counseling sessions, even with my husband, and he is feeling more heard and understood than in the past. So great."
— Rev. Linda – San Antonio, TX (grown children)
"My good friend lent me your book and I was delighted to put it to good use right away – and then realized that I wanted my own copy for myself, my husband, and my parents."
— Mother – Austin, TX
"I'm taking the book to [a local family center]…I'm going to talk to all the therapists there and "testify!" to its value for parents. It's a terrific, easy to read-and-follow publication."
— Dr. Susan Scott, LPC – Colorado Springs, CO (Springs Therapy)
"I have just found your book and sent it to my nephew and nieces who are young parents. I intend to recommend it also to young couples preparing for marriage who want some 'advice' around children…I am also going to use it for us adults…so this is a real gift. You may never know all the richness you are bringing with what you are writing and speaking."
— Margarita, Senior
Language of Listening® Basics Class & Online Training Center
Check out what parents & teachers say about this class:
"I REALLY enjoyed the presentation and it has truly made a difference in mine and my children's lives in just the last week…You have so much to offer."
— Tonja (children 5, 7) - Life Coach
"These skills actually have already begun to change my relationships, especially with my daughter."
— Beth (child 10)
"It had never occurred to me that the best way to connect with the child was to say what I was seeing. This should help break boundaries with my children."
— Poornima, Mother
"…a simple, powerful way of working with children that's as applicable to the challenges of adolescents as it is to the challenges of infants."
— John Snyder (son 22), Elementary Educator, Austin Montessori School
"Great material and perspective. It has changed my outlook already. Thank you!"
— Youth Director, San Antonio, TX
"I thoroughly enjoyed your session! It had quite the impression on me in terms of how to work with my son... This is truly transformative! I have your book on my nightstand as a reference."
— Dr. Anthony Brown (child, 2), Asst. Prof. of Curriculum & Instruction, UT, Austin
More Basics Class testimonials
"This kind of parenting inspiration and different perspective is very rejuvenating. I will be trying these skills out immediately!"
— Terri, Mother
"Two hours passed in a flash!"
— Parent
"I've believed whole-heartedly in the concept and have seen it work magic for as long as I've been a preschool teacher. However, even being experienced, I found this training incredibly enlightening and motivating! I learned many new aspects as well as the logical reasons that explain children's behavior and why it is important for us to follow this concept as we respond to them. Eye-opening!"
— Chrissy Farias, Pre-K Teacher, The Loft School, Marion, MA
"I thought the class was GREAT! The skills were not new to me, but now they are arranged and clarified in a new way."
— Holly (children 2, 4, 4)
"Like night and day! Saying what I see will really help me to stay focused on the positive aspects of my children no matter how time pressured I feel. And it will make it easier for me to communicate with other children I don't know as well in the Sunday School or Karate classes where I assist."
— Beth (children 3, 7)
"I learned to observe rather than react."
— Tracy (child 2)
"…easy to immediately implement."
— Lee (child 5)
"I look forward to incorporating this into my parenting and teaching experiences."
— Jai Hari (children 12, 9, 6, 2), Homeschooler
"I liked getting time to ask about specific [classroom] situations."
— Cynthia (children 8, 11)
"I like adding strengths. It's incredibly effective in teaching my child to believe he is capable."
— Janna (children 6 mo, 4)
"I like saying what the child is feeling so I can connect instead of imposing my feelings and opinions."
— Dawn (child 2)
"I walked away with many tips that I can implement."
— Martina (child 4, 7)
"Very clear presentations – very positive. I used it last night and it worked."
— Susan, Mother
"Say What You See puts you in the present moment."
— Timothy (children 2, 6, 9, 12)
"The experience was powerful. The instructor was excellent."
— Kate, Grandmother
"…a refreshing and welcomed perspective."
— Van, Father
Language of Listening® Mastery Class
Check out what parents & teachers say about this in-depth class:
"My daughter just got an expander put in by the Orthodontist – something very terrifying to her – but she remained under control, kept moving forward, and got it done! Extremely brave! I credit this class and the power playtimes we've been doing together. My wife and I have seen dramatic changes and tremendous growth from her after only 4 playtimes. This was huge! What a difference!"
— Paul (children 4, 7)
"This class is the easiest to implement, most effective and fun…all you really have to do is look with new eyes."
— Maite (children 5, 7)
"This class has been the best gift I've ever given myself or my child."
— Zoy (child 3)
"Parenting is tough stuff and since your Playtime Class I feel like my connection to my children continues to grow. We will continue playtime because they ask for it and look forward to it."
— Julie (children 7, 9)
"This was the single most valuable parenting course I've ever had. I'll use Power Playtimes for many years to come with both my kids. I am so grateful!"
— Janet (children 2, 6)
"It's life-changing. I was walking down the path with my son this morning, and we were holding hands. He's at an age where normally he won't even hug me in public. I was thinking, that's big! He's just calmer. He's more connected to me and I'm feeling more confident…It's a valuable skill that you will have for life, and it will just improve."
— Paula (children 6, 8)
"I consider this class one of the best things I have ever done. I will always treasure it."
— Tara (children 10 mo, 5, 11, 14)
More Playtime testimonials
"I found this course to be very transformative. Sandy and Eva are incredibly perceptive. They helped me see patterns and behaviors with my child that I would never have realized and addressed on my own. I feel like I'm now equipped to move forward in my relationships with my kids, connect with them and help them see their strengths."
— Jenn (children 4, 7)
"I'm not sure there are even words to acknowledge the impact on a relationship after doing playtimes."
— Michelle (child 4)
"What I liked about the class was the ease – small effort for large return. Playtimes are incredibly valuable, even with a niece."
— Robin (nieces 13, 14)
"I wish I'd taken this when my child was three!"
— Diane (child 10)
"The playtime course was very experiential...It provided the breakthrough that I had been searching for in raising my children. It opened doors that I didn't know were there, and boy did I start having conversations with my kids that I'd been wanting, but had no success with before. The instructor was wonderfully insightful, perceptive, and completely in tune with us."
— Jennifer (children 5, 8)
"This class has changed, my mind, my life and the way I interact not only with my child but with all people."
— Ruxandra (children 8 mo, 2)
"The thing that surprised me the most was how much I learned about boundaries in this class. I wasn't expecting that. It's really changed the way that I deal with the kids…I just feel a lot more calm, a lot more at ease. Working on those skills in the playtimes, it really has seeped into everyday life."
— Eileen (children 4, 5)
"The playtime class was very organized, very professional, yet warm and comfortable…Playtime has changed my parenting and my relationship with my child in such a positive way."
— Sharon (children 3, 5)
"The playtimes help me release and connect…I can leave the world behind and actually be with my child. I don't think I've done that in a really long time…The playtimes are key for us, and it certainly seeped out into the rest of our lives…My daughter and I both talk about it all week; we're looking forward to our next playtime. She'll bring that up. That's a really big plus!"
— Anne (child 8)
"Saying what we see is second nature to us now."
— Gregory (child 12)
"I love that this parenting philosophy is rooted in total respect for our children and respect for ourselves and our own boundaries…I was impressed by the insights obtained by using these simple tools…I can't say enough about how valuable this has been for us as a family."
— Fiona (children 5, 6)
"Awesome!!!! [Before playtimes,] I did not realize what was going on behind the scenes. The class taught me how to listen and understand what my child was feeling and thinking."
— Terry (child 8)
"I really consider the Say What You See approach the bridge that brought a gap between my children and me together. I use techniques that I have learned from you each and every day. I am not overstating when I say that the things I learned will change the courses of the lives of many children. I love your class so much. I look forward to taking the class again."
— Phyllis (children 8, 9) - Day Care Owner
"Class review of my playtime video was unbelievable! I wish I could get a group to help me every time…and watching theirs made my own perceived problems/weaknesses seem less personal."
— Karen (child 4)
"Playtimes are very helpful. Watching the other parents' videos gave me insight to my own situation."
— Sheryl (children 7, 11)
"Playtimes are great. It's nice for both of us to know this time is available for [my daughter] to do what she wants with just positive support and no judgment."
— Dave (children 3, 8, 11)
"The class gave me a new perspective on how children develop. The live demonstrations were outstanding."
— William (children 7, 9, 32)
"Your class really turned my children around."
— Mara (children 9 mo, 3, 5, 12, 19)
"Sandy's insight is remarkable."
— Joy (child 5)
"I love how you explain everything in detail. I learned many things about myself and my daughter."
— Lauren (children 3, 6)
"Great stuff! The thing I like best is Sandy and Eva's insight into us and our children. They make the great material come alive! Each time they address a specific, I gain a new level of understanding. I need a audiotape loop of it to listen to daily!"
— Julia (children 3, 8)
Children's POV on our Mastery Class
Check out what kids think about their Power Playtimes at home with mom or dad:
"It's when there's only me and you and nobody else."
— 3 yr. old
"It's very special to me. I love it because I'm with my mom."
"In special playtime you get to do what you want. In regular time you don't."
A proud first grader completed this worksheet in school about his playtime:
"Well, it's a time for expression-happy, sad, that sort."
"It's a way for parents to get together with their children and a great way to get away from doing your chores."
"Mom, I really enjoy this time with you!" (This child's mom said when she heard this her "heart melted.")
— 10 yr. old
"…a place where you can feel comfortable expressing your ideas and feelings without worrying about rejection."
Language of Listening® for YOU Class
Check out what adult participants think about this class:
"I finally make sense. This course should be called I matter!"
— Flo, Financial Consultant
"I didn't want it to end!"
— Colleen, College Student
"Sandy and Eva present a natural way that helps people move towards greater personal growth. It's not a 'system' to implement, it's just learning how to be authentically yourself!"
— Mark Oberholzer, Architect
Private and Group Coaching
Check out what parents & others think about our parent and life coaching:
"I've gotten my life out of this conversation."
— Carlo
"Sandy, you've given me a tremendous amount of insight and incredible tools to use; life changing stuff!" 🙂
— Mom (child 13)
"Eva and Sandy, I love the impact you have had on my life! You cannot buy the balanced, peaceful, happy feelings I have right now...You've given me wings!"
— Ruxandra
"Betsy, you have changed my life as a parent, which then means as a human being. Awesome! Thank you!"
— Mom (children 6 mo, 4, 5)
"Sandy seems to be so intuitive and able to pinpoint issues immediately."
— Vanessa (children 2, 7)
"After years of feeling stuck, of endless talking and seeing countless therapists, I finally felt understood by Eva. She gave me a real way of seeing myself - a way to understand my thoughts and behaviors without judgment or criticism. And in this understanding, I could let go. Instead of staying stuck in my story, I'm living my beautiful life!"
— Olenka
Sandy, thank you so much!!!! Our call was AMAZING and has brought me an enormous sense of peace. Your guidance has helped me to look at things that happen in my life with an entirely different perspective. In just one conversation, you not only got to the heart of my situation (literally!!!), you helped me to gain clarity on some things that I have misunderstood for quite some time.
— Mom (children 4 and 7), Vermont
"Sandy, I am BEYOND AMAZED that in a few emails you have NAILED me and answered SOO many questions that NONE of the many counselors I've had over my adult life or my children have had for the past 2 years could address in such a SHORT time!!"
— Kristene (children 4, 9), Arizona
"[In your email] you have provided me with tons of awesome advice and I can't wait to use it with our daughter. I can't thank you enough. And PS... my husband and I giggled while reading your message because these things you said she would say in response, she said exactly word for word!! "
— Whitney (child 14), Florida
"Seriously, I want to hire Sandy to be on the phone with me ALL DAY... a bluetooth in my ear and have her coach me all day while I parent."
— Rebecca (children 9 mo, 4)
"Eva, thank you!! You do a wonderful job of presenting deep, insightful material, but making it feel accessible and welcoming/light."
— Mike, Positive Psychology Professor
More Coaching comments.
"Sandy completely understands all ages of child development, from infants on up, and always has insights to share on some of the trickiest parenting issues."
— Neil (children 11, 13)
"Eva is amazing. I had my one-on-one with her and it was wonderful. I recommend that you reach out to her if you are unsure of your path."
— Jan Gardner
"Wow! Fantastic advice, and just what I was looking for. Sandy, you really got me and my daughter through my email message. I really appreciate this advice and shared it with two of my friends whose daughters are all feeling the same way about middle school."
— Wendy (child 11)
"Sandy is passionate about working with families to create authentic, empowered, and joyful kids, parents and relationships. She's also incredibly approachable and real and delightful, too."
— Katherine, Creative Life Coach
"Sandy, your amazing insight has helped me to transform all of my relationships. You helped me shift patterns and beliefs, in one sitting, that I've carried for years."
Add Your Testimonial Here:
Sandy | April 26, 2011 at 2:52 pm
We love hearing how our classes, videos, publications, and website work for you, so please leave us a comment here. Each entry brings a smile to our faces and inspiration to another parent or teacher wondering if Language of Listening® is right for them. Thank you for your ongoing support! It allows us to do what we do! — Sandy and the Language of Listening Team
Michelle | September 26, 2011 at 2:48 pm
I have been so amazed with Sandy's coaching! She helped me get to the core of what was going on with my daughter and we started to see improvements almost immediately. And I got chills when I realized the connection she was making because it made so much sense once she pointed it out. Thanks Sandy!
Online Training Center Login
Say What You See® Book
Mobile Video Classes
Talk to Sandy or Eva
Coaching You
2 YOs Sharing Peacefully (in less than a minute)
Adult Relationships: SWYS to Yourself First
Avoiding Toddler-Baby Rivalry
Best Tip Ever for Sharing
Boundary Trouble?
CAN DOs Work for All Ages
Do Thoughts Cause Feelings?
Ending Reactive Parenting
Fear to Fun in Five Steps
How To Correct a Perfectionist Child
How To Help a Perfectionist Child
New Perspective on Two's and Tantrums
New Twist on Blame
No More Lies
On-time with Empowered Children
Peaceful Family Gatherings
Relief for Overwhelmed Kids
Responding to Accidents & Complaints
Safe Not Scared
Seeing With New Eyes
Stop Reacting, Start Exaggerating
Success Training for Toddler Hitting
Success Training, Not Micro-Managing
Swim Class Success Training (audio)
Tantrum Relief - Meeting the 3 Basic Needs
Teasing & Name-calling
True Self-Motivation
Undoing Harsh Words
What if My Kids Get Teased
What's Perfect About Perfectionism?
What's Behind Whining?
Whining: Can You Be Helpless?
Why I Let Kids Cry
Proud Mama Ad
"Not fair!" Could Your Child Be Right?
Trouble at Preschool
Sibling Fights—Empowering Kids with Mediation
Independent or Alone?
Boundaries, Family Rules, & Strong-Willed Children… Oh My!
Everything children do and say is a communication. Children must continue to communicate until they are heard.
All children have every possible inner strength. Children act according to who they believe they are.
All behaviors are driven by 3 healthy needs: experience, connection, power. Whatever children are doing is already meeting these needs.
All growth is through acceptance. Children set exactly the right level of challenge for growth.
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We are parent and personal growth coaches, not medical or mental health professionals. This website and the content provided herein are for adult use, meant to be thought provoking, and are not intended or implied to be a substitute for advice, diagnosis, guidance, or treatment by a licensed medical or mental health professional. No liability is assumed for losses or damages due to the content provided. You are responsible for your own choices, actions, and results. You should consult a licensed medical or mental health professional for your specific questions and needs.
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