United Kingdom Jokes
What'd do you say to a depressed girl from United Kingdom
The United Kingdom is breaking up!
Soon it will be the Untied Kingdom.
Why do they spell it "honour" and "favour" in the United Kingdom?
Because Rick Astley is British.
The President of the United States is going to debate the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. Nobody's sure who's going to win.
Trump may trump May, May may trump Trump.
r/wordavalanches
The United Kingdom is to provide special support to those self-identify as gnomes, fairies or pixies...
It'll be known as the National Elf Service.
What is United Kingdom's top song for December 2018?
"All I want for Christmas is EU"
The United Kingdom.
A country whose name is now ironic.
What will you call a big broken glacier piece, floating towards United Kingdom?
Iceburgh
God was creating all the countries and it was the United Kingdom's turn.
He turned to his angels and said, " They shall live on a miserable damp island, they'll barely get along with each other and be constantly on each other's throats if not dealing with other countries, have bland food, the worst dental hygiene and have this insufferable fantasy about their country bei...
The Irish must have lost so much money last night due to betting.
They'll be asking to rejoin the United Kingdom later today.
On his recent visit to England Trump is very taken with all the pomp and regalia of royalty...
So while having dinner seated next to the Queen he announces boldly that from here on in he would like the USA to be referred to as the "United Kingdom of America!"
The Queen shakes her head and says somewhat admonishingly, "My dear Donald you can't do that - you are not a King".
A bit defe...
The United Kingdom and their wide variety of fucks.
Two men are at the bar, making some idle conversation. One of the men is a linguist, and decides to tell his friend an interesting story.
"Hey, man! Did you know that, in the UK, each country has its own version of 'fuck?'"
His friend replies, "I haven't heard of that before, man. What...
What is the wettest country on earth?
United Kingdom, because the Queen has reigned for years.
*this is my 8 year old daughters absolute favorite joke.
New military alliance
I just read that Australia, the United Kingdom and the United States have formed a new alliance. It is called AUKUS.
This has really upset France.
I think the United Kingdom and the United States should form a separate alliance with France. That way they can call it FUKUS.
The Queen created a beautiful design that I decided to put on a shirt
One day, the Queen of The United Kingdoms designed a beautiful new crest for the royal family and seeing it, I saw an opportunity for profit and began selling t-shirts with the design printed on them thinking that the royal family wouldn't mind.
After several very angry calls from the royal f...
The year is 2219
A dishevelled white haired man crosses the desert that was once the English Channel from the United Kingdom of England to visit the capital of the Eurasian Empire in Brussels. As has been the case for 200 years, he delivers an unsigned letter and returns home, only to repeat the process again the n...
Three americans are competing to paint a foreign flag on a white sheet of canvas ...
The three are given only 30 minutes to complete their assignment.
The first student decides to paint Germany's flag, the second will paint the United Kingdom's, and the third Hungary's.
The first and second are already making good progress. The third's about to take his first brush str...
On a dark and stormy night...
...a comet flies past Earth. This comet was enchanted, and after it flew past the world, it caused all statues to come to life, solely focused on destroying every country in the world.
No nation was left safe from this attack. The gargoyles attacked France. The Statue of Liberty led a revolt ...
Group work can be tough...
I'm taking European history for a 'social studies' credit. Closer to the end of the semester we had a group project and my group ended up with the united kingdom as our topic. Almost immediately we ran into problems though because everyone was against group work and organizing this was growing ever ...
Sir John and Chung Lee walking in front of the Buckingham palace
Chung Lee says: "When I see all these flags, my heart fills with joy!"
Sir John:"But you are a Chinese national only visiting the United Kingdom, how so?"
Chung Lee:"Did you ever read the labels on the flags?!"
The year is 2192. The British Prime Minister visits Brussels to ask for an extension of the Brexit deadline. He leaves a ceremonial letter. For reasons lost in time, this letter is always unsigned. Ceremonial garb includes a suit that looks like it was made for a someone of an entirely different si...
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