Bee-otch of the Day
12.1.20 Bee-otch of the Day: Detroit Lions
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Name: Detroit Lions
Occupation: pee-wee football team
Last Seen: Detroit, MI
Bee-otched For: another year, another failed and fired coach
Too many times, sports talkers and announcers can be annoying.
Don't get me started on people like Howard Cosell, Jim Rome, Scott Ferrell and - dare I say his name - "Huge" Bill Simonson.
But sometimes, sports people can say some very intelligent things. Saturday afternoon's Penn State - Michigan game was no exception.
Around 3 p.m., one of the play-by-play announcers said probably the smartest thing to ever come out of the mouth of somebody in their trade: "The Detroit Lions should have never fired Jim Caldwell".
Yes, Jim Caldwell, the winningest coach the Lions had in 50 years. He was also the winningest coach since the Ford family bought the Lions in 1964. In his four years as coach, Caldwell took the Lions to the playoffs twice, only to get defeated in the Wild Card games.
Granted, it was the great Wayne Fontes who gave the Lions its sole playoff win in Ford family ownership history during the Barry Sanders era. But, with a 62-50 record with the Lions, Caldwell was their best coach at least during my lifetime (the worst, if you're keeping track, was Marty Mornhinweg, who only won five games in two years). But, it was Caldwell who was the sole coach in my lifetime that was over .500.
So now, the Lions have an interim coach, Darrell Bevell. Rumor has it that the team does have a few names in mind. One is 49ers defensive coordinator Robert Saleh. He's a Detroit native and since he's Arab, he would be a good news for the Lions' compliance with the Rooney Rule.
The question is, is that can we trust the Lions to make the right decision, or will it be another pointless cycle where they switch coaches every three years? Look, Bill Ford was rumored to be a humble man and a likeable guy. Sadly, he sucked as an owner. Hell, when he hired Steve Mariucci, he didn't even bother considering interviewing people of color, pissing off the NFL. The Mariucci years sucked. Hell, the Matt Millen years sucked worse!
Now, Bill Ford is dead, and his family has been picking up the pieces since. Thankfully, the Caldwell years were some of the best in the team's history. But, they replaced a Chevy with (too soon?) an Edsel.
All I can say for now is that Sheila Ford Hamp *did* help her mom rebuild the team in the beginning and their mistake cost them. Now that Sheila's the de facto owner, only time will tell if a new coach will make a difference. After all, the Lions have been rebuilding since 1957.
Remember, folks: the "WCF" on the Lions' jerseys aren't just a tribute to William Clay Ford, who died six years ago. To the average fan, it stands for "We Can't Football".
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Posted by King Chuck at 5:49 PM
THE 2020 BEE-OTCH OF THE YEAR!
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