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What Does It Mean When You're MIA on His Facebook Page?
A 29-year-old married woman we know has a problem: Her husband's Facebook account. While he dotes on his wife in many ways—from planning sweet date nights to an arduous adoration of her four toy dogs—Amy questions his affections because she's MIA from his Facebook page. No photos, no shout-outs, no public declarations of love. "Why," she asked him recently, "don't you want people to know you're married?" Her husband countered that his "Relationship Status" clearly states he is, in fact, taken—and that her absence from the other elements of his page merely reflect his desire to keep his profile professional. But Amy was not impressed. Her own Facebook page is a timeline of their relationship: Every day, every romantic evening in, every mundane run to the grocery store is documented in her status updates and photos. When her husband doesn't return her Facebook affection post for post, Like for Like, Amy thinks it means he loves her a little less than she loves him. But does it really? After an informal poll of the office, most of our own staffers agree that as long as there's sincere proof of life on his page, such as posting semiregular photos of you
Jillian Kramer
A 29-year-old married woman we know has a problem: Her husband's Facebook account. While he dotes on his wife in many ways—from planning sweet date nights to an arduous adoration of her four toy dogs—Amy questions his affections because she's MIA from his Facebook page. No photos, no shout-outs, no public declarations of love. "Why," she asked him recently, "don't you want people to know you're married?"
Her husband countered that his "Relationship Status" clearly states he is, in fact, taken—and that her absence from the other elements of his page merely reflect his desire to keep his profile professional. But Amy was not impressed.
Her own Facebook page is a timeline of their relationship: Every day, every romantic evening in, every mundane run to the grocery store is documented in her status updates and photos. When her husband doesn't return her Facebook affection post for post, Like for Like, Amy thinks it means he loves her a little less than she loves him.
But does it really? After an informal poll of the office, most of our own staffers agree that as long as there's sincere proof of life on his page, such as posting semiregular photos of you and/or displaying his Relationship Status, he's clearing the bar of what's reasonable (albeit the "bare minimum" to some). And as long as you're happy in the relationship overall, we say let it go. Here's why:
Every couple, and every individual, is comfortable sharing different elements and doses of their relationship in public, just as some very in-love people shun PDA while others are all but having sex on the street. Maybe adding "In a Relationship" or "Married" is as much of a mushy public sentiment as he's capable of.
If he truly never logs in and isn't active on Facebook, then being absent from his page can sting, but isn't necessarily a reflection of his love for you or his commitment to the relationship—just his commitment to Facebook.
On the other hand, if he's constantly liking other people's photos and posting pics of his fishing trips and college reunions, it's fair to wonder why you never seem to make the cut. In that case, it's worth a mention. But if you simply snagged yourself a social media-shy guy who doesn't post much ever, then is it really worth getting upset over? Look for all the other ways he shows his love (hopefully they're easy to find!) and simply tag him in any especially adorable-yet-professional photos you post on your own page.
Topicsdatingfacebooksocial media
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