Chief Justice John Roberts Holds Kegger in Anticipation of Obamacare Case
Singing and merriment go into the night.
OW THAT A circuit court has ruled against the individual mandate in President Obama's health care law, the Supreme Court will likely take up the case, a development that prompted Chief Justice John Roberts to give an "Obamacare Kegger" at his vacation home in Florida last Saturday night.
A spokesman for the Chief Justice stated that the all-night kegger "in no way should be taken as an indication of how the Roberts court will rule on the Affordable Care Act," insisting that the party "was only the Chief Justice's way of giving his court a little R&R before it takes on a difficult case."
The Supreme Court bash, lasting until the wee hours of Sunday morning, was attended by all the court's members, but the biggest partyers according to sources were the Chief Justice himself, Antonin Scalia, and Clarence Thomas.
Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, who was said to be in a rather somber mood, did not indulge in any free beer, and left the party early with what she claimed was "the worst headache of my life" after Justice Scalia danced her around the backyard for more than two hours.
The newest member of the court, Justice Elena Kagan, can be seen in various cellphone photos smiling wanly to what was apparently a tuneless duet between Roberts and Thomas belting their revised lyrics to "Bye Bye Love."
"I liked the Everly Brothers version so much better," Kagan was said to have whispered to Ginsburg before the latter's departure. Roberts dissented, but would not release his lyrics to the press, saying only that they were "completely judicious and unbiased."
Not to be outdone by the Roberts kegger, Justice Scalia is rumored to be planning a "Get Over It" party soon after the ruling on the individual mandate is announced.
"Oh, don't get your shorts all in a twist," said Mr. Scalia to reporters. "What's in a name? Sometimes a party is just a party, so get over it, already."
Justice Sonia Sotomayor, asked whether she would attend Scalia's get-together, said she was "catching whatever Justice Ginsburg has. I have a feeling I'm going to be under the weather for months. Otherwise, I'd love to, really."
Scalia confirmed the invitations were going out in the mail early, due to high demand.
"And don't bother trying to give another shindig like mine at a later time," Scalia said, "because no way can you use my party as a precedent, I promise."