The guilt-free parenting 'shortcuts' Jess Rowe swears by
By Kahla Preston| 9 months ago
If you ever needed to borrow an iron, Jessica Rowe would not be the person to ask.
When it comes to de-wrinkling clothes, the author and mum's home runs on a 'grab it off the line and give it a good shake' philosophy instead.
While Rowe, 48, is perfectly happy with her iron-free lifestyle, it was thrown into rather sharp relief during a recent game of Charades with her 10-year-old daughter.
"'Ironing' was the topic, and I'm desperately [miming] and she's looking at me going, 'What on earth are you doing?'" the TV host tells 9Honey.
"I ended up having to show her a picture of an iron, because she's never seen me ironing and we don't own one ... a few creases doesn't matter."
Jessica Rowe and Peter Overton have two daughters: Allegra and Giselle. (Instagram/Jess Rowe)
That's not the only shortcut Rowe relies on—and refuses to feel guilty about—to get her through the chaos of raising a young family, either.
"There is nothing wrong with giving your children toast for dinner sometimes. That's fine. Nobody has died by eating toast," she says.
"If your children are on their mobile, or your mobile, if it's going to diffuse a situation, do it."
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"At times, I've locked myself in the bathroom on my iPad to get some peace and quiet."
While these anecdotes may paint the former Studio 10 host as someone entirely at ease with being an 'imperfect' parent, it wasn't always that way.
Rowe, who has just released her fourth book, Diary of a Crap Housewife, says she was plagued with feelings of inadequacy and guilt in her early years of motherhood.
"For so long I felt that I didn't have it together," she recalls.
"There is nothing wrong with giving your children toast for dinner sometimes." (Instagram/Jess Rowe)
Being diagnosed with postnatal depression soon after the birth of her eldest daughter Allegra, now 12, was the first in a series of shifts in the way Rowe perceived herself.
"That was such a shock because I had imagined, as a mum, it would be the happiest time of my life, but it wasn't," she admits.
"It was actually the hardest time, and the most wretched time, and I felt terrible guilt during those terrible months."
Seeking help, and eventually a diagnosis, helped Rowe understand she needed to let go of her ideas and expectations of motherhood.
"I realised I wasn't a failure, I just had an illness that I needed some help to get through," she says.
Wow- it's such a joy to spread the #DiaryofaCrapHousewife love 💕💕💕. Thank you! And special thanks to my pal @joe_hildebrand for his words!! #book #touringwithneesythisweek #booktouragainnextweek #greatmothersdaypressie
A post shared by Jessica Rowe (@jessjrowe) on Apr 7, 2019 at 6:56pm PDT
"It didn't mean I was a bad mum, it didn't mean I didn't love my baby."
Rowe went through a similar perspective shift when her daughters Allegra and Giselle were in infancy.
She struggled with the hours spent at the park and in the sandpit, and thought it was a reflection of her parenting skills. Increasingly, she's let herself off the hook.
"As [my girls] get older, I enjoy them, and our time together, more and more.
"I know that's got a lot to do with me letting go of the expectations, letting go of what 'a good mum' is," she explains.
"I know I'm a 'good enough' mum ... I'm good at not taking myself too seriously, and being in the moment with them and doing things that bring all of us joy. And that's enough for me."
In being so open about her 'imperfect' parenting, Rowe helps to encourage other mums to cut themselves some slack and acknowledge their struggles.
"I know I'm a 'good enough' mum." (Instagram/Jess Rowe)
It's a conversation she desperately needed to be involved in when she was feeling lost and unsure in those early days with her daughters.
"I remember the first ever mothers group I went to, and I was desperate to find a tribe of like minded women," she recalls.
"Everyone seemed to be breastfeeding with ease, and saying things like 'My baby sleeps all night' ... because it was so new to me, I thought, 'What's wrong with me?'
"Looking back at that time, there is no way I was the only woman in that room feeling lost.
"We need to share our stories as a way giving one another permission to be vulnerable, and also as a way of saying 'it's hard' or 'I'm lost'. I'm all about being gentle on yourself."