I can only imagine the hysteria when Huma found out that Hillary has to wipe her own bum: "Abedin brought to tears by Clinton carrying her own bags".
Only 265 shopping days left 'til President Granny starts shutting down the Second Amendment.
Another Obama first: "Barack Obama will be the only U.S. president in history who did not deliver a single year of 3.0 percent-plus economic growth."
Bernie Sanders would like to turn the U.S. into a giant Venezuela (SondraK provides a visual of Venezuela's current plight, and Tim Blair takes a look at the wheel barrow indicator).
Green Beret Sgt. 1st Class Charles Martland, who was nearly kicked out of the Army for getting tough with an Afghan child rapist, will be staying in after all (kudos to Rep. Duncan Hunter and Rep. Vern Buchanan for their passionate fight on Sgt. Martland's behalf).
Sounds like a waste of good manure, to me.
Obama's legacy (via Moonbattery)...
I'm tempted to say that this is the dumbest thing you'll read all day...
...but the day is young, and leftist morons are everywhere. Still, it's bound to stand out. Jason Curmi in The Huffington Post:
The main problem with the notion of self-defense is it imposes on justice, for everyone has the right for a fair trial. Therefore, using a firearm to defend oneself is not legal because if the attacker is killed, he or she is devoid of his or her rights.
One of the commenters at the linked site has a good response: "It's funny, I have always thought that the lack of a trial had MANY benefits, and that's why self defense shootings were so…beneficial."
Jimmy Lunceford and his orchestra back the wonderful harmonizing of the Dandridge sisters in this 1940 recording of Red Wagon.
Thank you, drunken has-been, for confirming for the umpteenth time how well off we are to be rid of you
If there's ever a Mt. Rushmore of FAIL, John Boehner's mug needs to be front and center. His latest comment on Ted Cruz:
"Lucifer in the flesh," the former speaker said when asked his opinions on the Texas senator. "I have Democrat friends and Republican friends. I get along with almost everyone, but I have never worked with a more miserable son of a bitch in my life."
Another homeowner successfully derails an attempted home invasion
Chris Wolf of Indiana was alert and prepared.
Good for Mr. Wolf. As for me, I have no intention of suffering the tragic fate of the Harvey family of Richmond, so I, too, am alert and prepared - as we all should be.
I like the move...
...but I worry that it may have come too late: Ted Cruz names Carly Fiorina as his VP running mate.
Meanwhile, check out one of the people reportedly on the short list of Hillary's potential VP candidates.
The Washington way
This article in the Washington Post about the Washington Metro subway system offers as good an example as any of how government's capacity for High Suckitude is almost always limitless.
It's also another reason why I think the federal government should be physically decentralized (so as to reduce the burgeoning inside-the beltway population of federales and the strain they put on the region's infrastructure – not to mention the dangers to our liberty represented by such a large concentration of bureaucrats in this echo chamber of statism). With modern communications technology, there's no reason the Dept. of Agriculture can't be located in Omaha, and the EPA in Kansas City (or, even better, as a tool for triggering permanent attrition, Trenton, New Jersey and Flint, Michigan, respectively).
Is there anything Israel can't do?
Palestine's President claims that the Israeli "occupation" is "destroying the climate in Palestine".
Hillary Clinton, gang lord
Veeshir at DoublePlusUndead mulls over Hillary's brilliant idea that we should have "positive gangs".
The law of unanticipated consequences
"Compassionate" advocates of open borders are supporting a policy that is getting people raped and killed.
Yeah, just what we've been waiting for
Anthony Weiner, the movie.
Doug Giles:
Call me squishy, but I'm not a #NeverCruz or a #NeverTrump dude, but a #NeverHillary man.
That. I. Know. Fo'. Sure.
"Anyone but Hillary" is my mantra and with that funky, bottom-line bass note I can make the case for Trump, Cruz, Kasich, Ryan Seacrest, Carrot Top and Prince over that slab of spoiled halibut.
Chip off the ol' crock
The Clinton whelp helpfully points out how dangerous her mom is to our civil liberties (and manages to snub the memory of the late Justice Scalia at the same time).
Supreme mouth-harpsicologist Little Walter performs his version of Key to the Highway.
Carl Sandburg, call your office
City of the Cold Shoulders:
Surveillance footage shows more than a dozen bystanders failing to assist a popular Chicago hotel cocktail server lying in a crosswalk after he was knocked unconscious by an aggressor and run over by a cab moments later. Thirty-two-year-old Marques Gaines died at an area hospital from the injuries suffered outside a 7-Eleven store. Video shows Gaines running from his pursuer as soon as he noticed him, but the hoodie-clad man caught up and knocked him to the ground with a single punch. Shortly thereafter, a crowd gathered around his slumped body and rifled through his pockets before leaving the scene. In the moments leading up to a taxicab accidentally running over Gaines, more than a dozen bystanders passed the scene without trying to pull him out of the street.
Another town I wouldn't live in on a bet.
Paco's diary
D.C. has long emblazoned its license plates with the galling slogan, "Taxation Without Representation". This is part and parcel of the District's desire for statehood. Naturally, the donks would be delighted; it would mean two more U.S. Senators, and a voting Representative, situated permanently in the Democrat column. But it is a federal district, the seat of Leviathan, and, frankly, I think the slogan probably belongs on the license plates of all the other legitimate states and commonwealths (yes, we all get to elect senators and congressmen, but they don't listen to us, and have proven uninterested or ineffectual in trimming the claws of the IRS). Besides, all the fat-cat bureaucrats, lawyers, lobbyists and lesser parasites have a readily available alternative: move across the city line to Maryland or Virginia. I've never really understood why people, who don't have to, live in Washington. The city government is corrupt and incompetent, the streets are full of aggressive panhandlers, parking is a big challenge, and just try to find a conveniently-located supermarket . The vibe I tend to pick up when I talk to people who live in D.C. – mostly bureaucrats of one stripe or another - makes me believe they think there's some sort of prestige or social cachet attached to living in the very business district, so to speak, of Mordor. It's not enough to simply commute to jobs where they serve as little cogs or ball-bearings in the machinery of Sauron, they've got to actually live under the ever-watchful Eye itself, and smell the fire and brimstone from the cramped comfort of their apartment balconies. In any event, the District wants to change its slogan from a mere declaration to an imperative – "End Taxation Without Representation". Larry O'Connor, a talk show host who sometimes posts at Hot Air, challenged his listeners to come up with better alternatives. Hilarity, as they say, ensues.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Speaking of bureaucrats, the younger men have adopted some execrable new fashion standards: suits that look one size too small, pants that are too short (the better to show off their gaudy socks), and – this I particularly abominate – brown shoes with slate blue and even gray suits. And the shoes are very frequently those long, square-toed affairs that remind me of the kind of footwear usually sported by the Disney cartoon character, Goofy. I would not be surprised to see a sudden outbreak of berets, or even beanies (or – God help us – monogrammed cravats).
Although much of Northern Virginia now serves as a bedroom community for Washington, there is a goodish bit of the wild still in evidence. Around dusk yesterday, I saw a fox chasing a cat down the neighbor's driveway. The fox was growling furiously, but he seemed to be holding back his pace, as if he were wondering whether, in spite of having committed to the chase, it was altogether wise to actually catch the cat. The fox finally slowed to a trot and veered off in another direction. I can only speculate as to what led to this contretemps, but I am guessing that the cat must have strayed too close to the fox's den.
Obama is certainly looking in some strange places for solutions to the country's burgeoning crime issues:
It was an awkward situation for rapper Rick Ross when his ankle-monitoring bracelet went off while attending a high-level meeting with other rappers in Washington, D.C., about criminal justice issues.
What made the situation even more awkward for him -- and everyone else involved -- is that the meeting took place at the White House, and his electronic monitor started beeping right after President Obama finished speaking to the assembled group.
So, what did Ross do, exactly, that requires him to wear an ankle-monitor? I'm glad you asked!
Ross is out on $2,000,000 bond for kidnapping, aggravated assault and aggravated battery of a man working on one of his homes. According to police, Ross and his bodyguard allegedly "forced the worker into a guesthouse bedroom and pistol-whipped him with a .9-mm Glock" after an argument.
Maybe one effective response to the increase in violent crime would be to lock up more people like Rick Ross; another might be to avoid giving such overpriviledged thugs the kind of false credibility that comes with invitations to the White House.
The Treasury proposes to kick Democrat Andrew Jackson off the 20-dollar bill and replace him with Harriet Tubman. Moe Lane has a Tweet that reflects the ideal image of this gun-toting Republican.
On behalf of a grateful Republic, I accept your generous offer
Rep. Peter King says he'll take cyanide if Ted Cruz gets the Republican presidential nomination.
I hope he's right!
Fidel Castro says that he might assume room temperature in the near future.
Damned if you do, damned if you don't
Heather MacDonald asks, "Will the anti-cop Left please figure out what it wants?"
Maryland Sheriff provides insight into results of Obama administration's lax immigration enforcement
Sheriff Charles Jenkins of Frederick County, Md.: "Open borders, reckless sanctuary policies, and failure to enforce our immigration laws have greatly impacted public safety and national security throughout every jurisdiction of this country. Every single day, more Americans are becoming victims of senseless crimes, being injured and killed by criminal aliens, many are transnational gang members."
Another great point:"without a secure border every county will be a 'border county'."
You know what I hate most about politicians?
Too many of them are stupid whores who dutifully eat whatever s**t sandwich their masters pack in their lunchboxes everyday, and feel that they're doing you a favor by offering you a bite.
Update: The original link fizzled out; I've replaced it with a new one.
Update II: Some shrewd observations from commenter HAL9000:
He said he didn't know whether Monday's bus explosion that wounded scores in Jerusalem was a terrorist attack, but added that the U.S. condemns "misguided cowards" who resort to violence.
Biden couldn't figure out that a bus bombing, boasted about by one of the terrorist groups of Fatah (the PA's rulers) was an act of terrorism? Does he think some passenger might have lit an exploding cigar?
One strategy that might bring peace is if the whole world cut off all money donations to the Palis. No more dole, let them work for a living for a change. That would also cut into the corruption that is well-nigh universal in Gaza and the PA's territory.
Has Biden heard that the PA has once again sworn never to recognize Israel as a Jewish state and that peace can only be achieved if they can flood Israel with millions of "refugees" driven out by those nasty Jews,just because the Palis started a genocidal war against the Israelis, which they then lost?
The Israelis tried to return the "occupied territories" (how is Gaza occupied by Israel?) in August 1967. The Arab countries said No, no, no. You see, Israel asked for a negotiated peace and recognition. NO! the Arabs said. Israel tried to make peace several times with the PLO/PA, The Arabs always said NO! I do not see what Israel can do, short of mass suicide, to bring peace.
Oh, and J Street is not an Israel advocacy organization, as the story calls it. It is an Israel adversary organization. Leftists have gone over to support the side that wants renewed genocide of the Jews, that is why Israel's Jews have moved to the right politically. The Left has betrayed them.
Hollywood celebrities, plus thousands of lesser California mortals, accidentally join George Wallace's old party.
Hey, who's up for a movie that lasts 30 days?
If you don't have the time, don't worry; you can probably get the gist of the thing from the seven-hour trailer.
America descends further into tribalism
Victor Davis Hanson:
Coupled with years of open borders, a failure to enforce immigration laws, hostility to integration and assimilation, and racial preferences in hiring and admissions, the Obama administration in just over seven years has nearly achieved its aims of racializing the American experience to such a degree that everyone must now belong to his particular tribe first, and begrudgingly remain an American a distant second.
An example of our future is found in Rome around the early 5th century AD onward, when parochialism and localism reasserted themselves, as Civis Romanus sum was rendered irrelevant. I fear that self-segregation is already institutionalized, as people migrate to live with like kind in red and blue states. And states such as California have divided into two antithetical societies, in which an interior Fresno is about as akin to coastal Newport or Palo Alto as Somalia is to Switzerland.
So, what do things look like down the road apiece?
The tensions of 2016 are mounting. The center is not holding, as the foundations of our society—education, social cohesion, defense, and finance—erode. Trump and Sanders are mere symptoms of the collective fear about what is being lost. Far, far worse is on the horizon.
As Franklin said, "A republic, if you can keep it."
The end of coffee stains, forever (H/T: Captain Heinrichs).
Also courtesy of the Captain, "22 Science Jokes Only Smart People Will Understand" (hey, many of them are way over my head, but I freely admit that my brain ain't exactly the Cadillac of thoughtboxes).
Man gets big surprise while trying to catch a catfish.
Pony up, suckas...
(The above image is via Powerline's "The Week in Pictures"; don't miss it!)
Not all that surprising, but still hilarious: "Airport sniffer dogs 'failing to spot Class A drugs... but finding plenty of cheese and sausages'".
Looks like Maggie might be presidential material...
Armed and extremely stylish
Women are arming themselves and getting concealed carry permits in increasingly large numbers, and are "redesigning the gun industry".
My favorite sheriff finds something good to report about the Obama presidency
"It's coming to an end".
Captain Glenn Miller and his Army Air Force band hot it up with "Jeep Jockey Jump".
"Hi, this is Paco. I'd like to cancel my appointment."
"Man Goes To Dentist, Wakes Up Naked With No Teeth"
Slow Bern
In the end, he will probably wind up having been nothing but a distraction to Hillary on her long march to the Democratic presidential nomination, but, while his run lasts, I am enjoying the spectacle of Clinton's snake-oil business losing sales to Bernie Sanders and his Bolshevik's Vapor Rub, a compound of soothing, camphorated Marxism which many of Clinton's natural clients find superior to her own old-hat Democrat nostrums.
Here is the latest example of blue-on-blue action.
I don't buy all that global-warming baloney either...
...and I defy Attorney General Claude E. Walker of the U.S. Virgin islands (who may also be, for all I know, Assistant Chief Park Ranger, Deputy Restaurant Inspector, and one of those guys who dives for coins alongside of tourist ships) to do anything about it.
I was going to say that this trivializes the presidency
But actually, I guess it would be more accurate to say that it trivializes the TV show.
Ah, the early '50s, when communism was still a bad word (a preview clip from I Was a Communist for the FBI).
Hey, don't think I haven't considered it: "Man Breaks Into Washington DC Five Guys, Makes Himself Cheeseburger".
Ich möchte Meow Mix! Schnell!
On the other hand, to borrow from Freud, sometimes a pile of mulch is just a pile of mulch.
This must be the most amazing hole-in-one of all time.
New BBQ and wet bar combo from Paco Enterprises...
Up yours, sideways, you posturing has-been
Really, really getting sick of this. My home state of North Carolina passed a law which basically says that if you were born with the XY chromosome combination you need to use the men's room (incidentally, the law only applies to government buildings; private property owners are free to convert their bathrooms into sites of Weimar-like debauchery if they wish). This is being touted by liberals as "Anti-LGBT" legislation; I call it "Sanity's Last Stand". Now, Bruce Springsteen comes forward and says that, in order to show "solidarity for these freedom fighters" - these freaking freedom fighters, mind you - he is cancelling an appearance in Charlotte, NC.
Full disclosure: I've never liked Springsteen, and I mean his voice, as well as his strong tendency toward blue-collar posturing. So, no big loss, fellow Tarheels, in my opinion; one ageing, larynx-challenged warbler more or less doesn't make much difference. But I am growing increasingly outraged over the left's desire to force its cultural imperatives on the rest of society under the guise of "freedom", on pain of everything from adverse legal actions to cancelled concerts. Suddenly, every moral value, code of behavior, religious belief and cultural norm that was considered completely unexceptional the day before yesterday is now equivalent to an oath of allegiance to the Ku Klux Klan.
Oh, and PayPal has canceled plans to build an office facility in Charlotte, due to North Carolina's new Reign of Terror. Yet, strangely, the company has no compunction about operating in Muslim countries where the penalty for engaging in homosexual acts is frequently death. PayPal, I entreat you to engage in an act of self-coitus, preferably while airborne.
Here's an idea: when Hillary becomes president, everybody gets a government-issue chamber pot, to be used where and when the mood strikes. Call this new plan of political action the Bowel Movement.
I've even got the perfect Hillpot picked out; politically correct in every detail...
Sarah Vaughan sings the lyrics to one of the greatest TV series theme songs ever - Peter Gunn ("Bye Bye").
Posted by Paco at 11:52 AM No comments:
Panama red-faced
There is quite a lot of interesting information emerging from the discovery of the so-called Panama Papers, including details on the relationship between long-term Clinton henchmen, the Podesta brothers, and Vladimir Putin. More to come, I'm sure.
"Ahhh, the art of deception. Tangled web, and all that. Ultimate discovery, loss of face, embarrassment all around; this is what happens when amateurs get out of their depth. Panama Papers, indeed! Now, you've never heard of the Honduran Files, I dare say; of course not, nor will you ever again, aside from this one brief mention. And why is that? Because the single most valuable asset of the vast Paco empire is a patent on the loom that spins invisibility. No, not even the most delicate gossamer strand of a web will you find. Mwaha!"
I wouldn't, Hillary; it might draw attention to your wrinkled, liver-spotted hands (and then, you know, there goes the youth vote)
Hillary tells Bernie that "the gloves are off".
I guess these Muslims were just getting a jump on the future backlash
"Gang Of Muslims Savagely Attack Swiss Teenager At Train Station For No Apparent Reason, Beat His Head With Rocks".
I will show you fear in a handful of dust
Or wonder in a small bit of gravel...whichever you prefer.
Mark Steyn at his passionate, eloquent best
If you don't have time to watch this entire video clip, at least treat yourself to Mark Steyn reducing his snarky leftist opponents to gawping pond life at 38 minutes 25 seconds (H/T: The spectator).
Can't wait to see what she wears when she speaks to La Raza
I'm thinking a sombrero, flared vaquero pants and crossed bandoliers (the ammo loops stuffed with double sawbucks to hand out to ward-heelers for walking-around money). Then a quick jog out to her low rider with the hydraulic shocks, a few hops to please the crowd, and squealing tires as her tricked out 1964 Impala with the fire-mist green paint zooms off into the night, the car horn blaring the first few bars of La Cucaracha.
"Hillary Clinton showed her wild side at an LGBT event at SoHo's Capitale, where the presidential wannabe sported a leather jacket, boasted about her Democratic-leading campaign and ran a red light on her way out.Stars including Rosie O'Donnell, Billie Jean King and former Rep. Barney Frank — celebrating his 76th birthday — were all in the house as Hill went on a roll."
Obama doesn't believe in universal gun control
I mean, he apparently isn't too bothered by felons being in possession of firearms.
The tedious mediocrity of "hip"
American Digest offers a fine explication of Seattle's self-conscious art and music scene.
I suppose we shouldn't wonder that our political contests have become increasingly infested with the vulgar, the obscene and the downright ugly; the political does not exist in a bubble secure from the influences of culture - a fact that many conservative and centrist politicians, obsessed with the calculus of mere electioneering, have been far too slow to grasp.
I can just see the correction now...
"I meant to say soulless blob of protoplasm".
The United (Hellhole) Nations is nothing if not predictable
"On March 24, 2016, the U.N. Commission on the Status of Women (CSW) wrapped up its annual meeting in New York by condemning only one country for violating women's rights anywhere on the planet – Israel, for violating the rights of Palestinian women."
Does anybody take this aviary of vultures seriously anymore?
A host of fabulous new products from Paco Enterprises' consumer products division.
Plus, artisanal toilet paper! (H/T: Captain Heinrichs).
Good girl! "[T]he Jones County Sheriff's Department reported that a family dog in Laurel, Mississippi brought its family a special present on Saturday: a large bag of weed."
If all you see...
Squirrels: they're going to get somebody killed someday.
Wait...this isn't the Orange Line train...
"Police Arrest 17 Muslim Men Firing Hundreds Of Rounds Of Ammo And Shouting 'ALLAH AKBAR' In CA Desert, Then Releases Them".
I'm celebrating the second day of my "staycation" today, so how's about a morning eye-opener by the highly talented duo of Seeley and Baldori as they make with some righteous eight-to-the-bar on the 88's.
I'm tempted to say that this is the dumbest thing ...
Thank you, drunken has-been, for confirming for th...
Another homeowner successfully derails an attempte...
On behalf of a grateful Republic, I accept your ge...
Maryland Sheriff provides insight into results of ...
My favorite sheriff finds something good to report...
"Hi, this is Paco. I'd like to cancel my appointme...
I was going to say that this trivializes the presi...
I wouldn't, Hillary; it might draw attention to yo...
I guess these Muslims were just getting a jump on ...
Can't wait to see what she wears when she speaks t...
The United (Hellhole) Nations is nothing if not pr...