Touring Capital Holiday Lights with a comic
Coronavirus cases drop in Albany County; hospitalizations flat but 3...
Local stand-up William Hughes critiques annual fundraiser on final year in Washington Park
Dec. 15, 2021 Updated: Dec. 15, 2021 5:19 p.m.
Capital Holiday Lights in the Park, now in its 25th and final year in Albany's Washington Park, is a fundraiser for the Albany Police Athletic League's programs for underprivileged children.
Steve Barnes/Times UnionShow MoreShow Less
Celestial trumpeters on either side of a sign of a sign for Price Chopper/Market 32 drew the following response from stand-up comedian William Hughes during his first visit to Capital Holiday Lights in the Park: "Angels heralding the Golub Corp.! These are angels of the Lord telling us about great prices."
Capital Holiday Lights is almost exclusively focused on Christmas, although a "Celebrate Our Differences" display includes symbols of non-Christian faiths. Comedian William Hughes said, "I don't know how I feel about (the message), 'Everyone can celebrate Christmas, even people that don't celebrate Christmas!'"
Comedian William's Hughes' take: "It could be dressage. It could be a fox hunt. Either way, it is recreational, upper-crust animal cruelty."
Comedian William Hughes' take: "An anthropomorphic reindeer that's dying by burning in white phosphorous."
ALBANY — "It's nice, I guess," said the comedian, trying to be nice.
As the 25th annual Capital Holiday Lights in the Park enters the final weeks of its last season in Washington Park, veteran local stand-up comic William Hughes, at the invitation of the Times Union, drove through it for the first time.
Hughes, who has been performing comedy for 11 years, was alternately entertained, bemused, annoyed and disturbed by Holiday Lights' more than 120 individual displays, from a series illustrating the enumerated items in "The 12 Days of Christmas" to one Hughes described as an "anthropomorphic reindeer that's dying by burning in white phosphorous."
An animated display of Kris Kringle firing gifts from a cannon prompted Hughes to say, "Boys and girls, Santa's calling in danger-close artillery."
Upon seeing a fancily attired horseback rider, Hughes said, "It could be dressage. It could be a fox hunt. Either way, it is recreational, upper-crust animal cruelty."
Taking Holiday Lights as a whole, Hughes mused, "I do bet this is a lot of fun on drugs. ... That seems the way to enjoy this: ... to either be a very patient child or an adult who just came back from Massachusetts with edibles."
Though the 37-year-old comic, who previously lived in Cohoes and recently moved to Albany, does not have children, he is not convinced the traffic-jam crawl through roads in Washington Park would hold most youngsters' attention. He said, "By the time the kid has looked at a thing and said, 'Oh, that's really interesting,' ... they've got to wait five minutes for the Kia Forte in front of you to actually move along so you can see the next batch of lights."
Hughes said he appreciates the importance of the programs provided to underprivileged kids by Holiday Lights' sponsor and beneficiary, the Albany Police Athletic League, for which the longtime event is by far the largest fundraiser toward a $1 million annual budget. And he understands the concerns of those who worry that forcing the display to relocate, which will happen next year, after years of complaints about traffic and damage to the park, potentially threatens Holiday Lights' attendance and thus its income.
But, Hughes said as he drove through the park, "When they're setting this stuff up and they've got the work crews, that means kids aren't going to have as much access to (the playgrounds). So this is a thing that's supposed to nice for kids that makes it harder for the park to be there for kids."
Among residents' other concerns is limited park access for several months, from the long setup period before Holiday Lights opens on the day after Thanksgiving, through the display's season and the dismantling period well into January. Further, extended traffic tie-ups, which were worse last year because limited holiday entertainment options made the display even more popular than usual, exasperated many living in neighborhoods around the park. They also roused a chorus of complaints that public transportation and emergency vehicles were being impeded.
Hughes said, "When you say this is a cool thing for the community, but a lot of people in the community are actively saying, 'We actually don't want it,' ... suddenly everyone's a Grinch just because they have a preference that doesn't include this thing that other people want."
As he neared the exit, passing through a long stretch filled with displays promoting the event's underwriters, Hughes observed that entry for a standard passenger vehicle is $25 and his ride lasted 25 minutes. He said, "We're paying a buck a minute to drive in our own car to look at very, very well made advertisements."
Although Capital Holiday Lights' status for this year was uncertain until a few months ago, the administration of Mayor Kathy Sheehan gave it a reprieve, allowing one final season but saying it would need to be relocated for 2022. The Police Athletic League has said it has not identified a new site. Among those suggested are a walkable display on the Empire State Plaza, which hosts thousands of people for multiple events throughout the summer but has only a skating rink in winter, and the Averell Harriman state office campus, with its broad roads, easy highway access and expansive display areas. Both are controlled by the state.
Reach Steve on
Steve Barnes has worked at the Times Union since 1996, served as arts editor for six years, and since 2005 has been a senior writer. He generally covers restaurants, food and the arts, and is the Times Union's restaurant columnist and theater critic. Steve was also a journalism instructor at the University at Albany for 12 years. You can reach him at sbarnes@timesunion.com or 518-454-5489.