By David Ng
David (@ng_dave) is Faculty at the Michael Smith Labs. His writing has appeared in places such as McSweeney's, The Walrus, and also as an occasional blogger at boingboing.net. If you're looking for a graphic for your next science talk, he encourages you to check out his blog, popperfont.net.
ISAAC NEWTON, STANDING ON THE SHOULDER OF GIANTS. EXCERPTS FROM HIS DIARY
"If I have seen a little further it is by standing on the shoulders of Giants." Isaac Newton in a letter to his rival Robert Hooke, 1676 – – – May 14th, 1665 Went to the post office today, thinking that I'd be picking up a grant proposal from the Royal Society. Imagine my surprise when I turned up and instead of a grant, there was a giant waiting for me. May 22nd, 1665 A week later and I'm still a bit confused on what to do with the giant, especially since it follows me relentlessly. Friends have not been much help in…
I SUSPECT THE I.P.C.C. REPORT MIGHT BE MORE EFFECTIVE IF IT WENT WITH ACRONYMS THAT WERE MORE NARRATIVE IN NATURE.
The IPCC report1 The STWBTIPCCFARCC2013TPSB report2 The OWCGWIPCCFR report3 The YIACCAYII report4 The OKSILTRIWSHAGTATTSAAEOTSOCC report5 The BTESCCIRINAGTAAIPOF report6 The OKTIA95LTIOFBTB100ITKOATIPITSR report7 The IOWSAACASCBAT report8 The MYCSTW100CITPRBWAKHTKOSTTTO report9 The SIATITRBYKSIW report10 The FFSJRTGROALTTRACNPOI report11 The ABCIDMOLPCOAGWFDOEICFFIIFFATL report12 The SCTINFSC report13 The AAYWWMLBGOTKOSMTIIBOLWLOMMOTOACISFMAOGEOCI report14 The ASTTQIAYOBWWTIPCCIS report15 The BIYTWTFJGALBB report16 The INWTTARSIIFHSLCHUMCPBTLUIPHBSWGTGWA95CTYCAYCCAGTBMTALDWY report17 1. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change 2. Specifically, this would be the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, Fifth Assessment Report Climate Change 2013: The Physical Science Basis 3. Or we could go with Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change For Realz 4. Yes, it's about climate change, and yes, it's…
THE ABRAMS' STORMTROOPER AXIOM
It (hypothetically*) goes like this: * Like all good science, this needs some testing… – – – When news hit that Disney bought the rights to Star Wars, and that J.J. Abrams would be manning the first movie of a new trilogy, my inner geek went into giddy overdrive. This was because it gave me a chance to revisited my bucket list, which had previously scratched off "be an extra in a Star Wars movie" as something that was unattainable having presumed the prequels were my last chance. But now, there is (literally), A NEW HOPE. Even better, is the…
A moment of your time: about Bill C-398 and how Canadians can contribute to global health
Dear Canadians: On wednesday, a very important piece of policy will be discussed in parliament. It's called Bill C-398 and it deserves our attention. It seems that it has been challenging for some to see its merits, and so, I'd like to take moment to clarify what it's all about. It turns out that it's not just important – the narrative is intriguing as well: it has a rich history of political intrigue; it is a story where viruses factor in prominently; it has a plot that involves armies of angry grandmothers; and above it all, learning about Bill…
BAD ASS POKEMON (I MEAN PHYLOMON) CARDS. LOOKING TO HIRE SOME ARTISTS
Just saying that biodiversity isn't all about beauty and things being cute and cuddly. These cards at the Phylogame website rock! And in case, you're new to the Phylomon idea, it's basically a crowdsourced art, science and gaming project that revolves around the reality of children knowing WAY more about Pokemon than they do about the flora and fauna around them. This, of course, is problematic since one might suggest that it's not a bad thing for children to also know a little more about the real environment around them (a more detailed description of the project can be found…
THE BESTEST, MOST KICK ASS, HUMAN GENOME PROJECT
– FROM THE ARCHIVE – Mondo-Genetic-Services is proud to announce its latest venture, "The Bestest, Most Kick Ass, Human Genome Project." Hot on the tails of the International Human Genome Sequencing Consortium and Celera Genomics, we present to you a novel approach in the elucidation of mankind's blueprint of life. Rather than using the frequently studied yet boring human cell lines, or samples from a small group of ethnically diverse, anonymous, and likely dull individuals, we propose a completely different strategy – that is, we plan to use the genomes of individuals handpicked by the editorial staff of People magazine,…
SHOULD EVERYONE HAVE ACCESS TO LIFE SAVING MEDICINES?
If you're a reader from Canada, don't forget to check out aidsaction.ca. Here, you can look up your candidates and send off an email to support the Call to Action to reform Canada's Access to Medicines Regime and help save lives! – – – 30 MINUTES, 70 FATES. You don't know it, but as I write this piece, there is some serious procrastination going on. My attention span is weak and sidetracked constantly by a variety of diversions, and if you must know, it's taken me close to half an hour to write these first two sentences. Still, one could…
SLICK CITY: THE PITCH
Alright everyone, you know it's high time for some major spin control. We may have managed to plug that baby up, but now we've got to fight that public relations fight. Ha ha – who would have thought that 4.9 million barrels of crude oil spilling out would piss so many people off? But seriously, the bad press is still everywhere, and we are, quite frankly, getting hammered out there. So what can we do about this? How exactly can we turn this PR nightmare into a PR fairytale? Well, we in the spin department think that we've got an…