My Saturday Night Life is a challenge where I plan to watch and review every episode of SNL every made, one show a day until I get caught up to the current season. Welcome to Season Fourteen!!!
SNL: S14E01... HOST: TOM HANKS... DATE OCTOBER 8, 1988
This week's show started with yet another installment of Pumping Up With Hans And Franz and as always, I find these two to be funny characters but their sketches are extremely repetitive. Where the last visit they were talking about the Winter Olympics, this time they are talking about the Summer Olympics, being that this was back in the day where both events were held in the same four-year pattern as Leap Year. Also, as always, this opening segment eventually ended on the announcement of, "Live from New York..."
Tom Hanks then officially opened the show with a monolog about his recent spike in popularity and how the media is promoting him as the nicest guy in Hollywood before quickly throwing to the first sketch. This is actually a false start as we then watch Tom head backstage to be super nice to the cast and the crew, including Conan O'Brien who was a writer at the time.
First Citiwide Change Bank was a fake commercial making fun of a CitiBank campaign from the time only this bank only makes change for its customers whether it's big bills for smaller bills, smaller bills for coins or any other combination.
We then got a reminder of how our options for president has always sucked with a parody of the Bush-Dukakis Debate '88 and as always with these political pieces, there are a lot of familiar names and issues that continue to haunt American politics to this day.
Keith Richards then took to the stage to perform Take It So Hard.
Mr. Short-Term Memory was a classic sketch where Tom Hanks plays a character who was hit in the head and loses his short-term memory. In this installment, he is on a blind date where he struggles to keep track of what is going on, being that he forgets any facts moments after receiving them. His memory is so bad that he even forgets what is in his mouth while in the process of eating.
This was followed by a second installment of the First Citiwide Change Bank with more examples of people who needed very specific change.
Once again, Dennis Miller gave us the news. This week, we got the classic segment where Kevin Nealon covers the All Drug Olympics with Phil Hartman playing a Russian who is so hopped up on steroids that he ends up ripping his own arms off while attempting to break the powerlifting record.
Tom Hanks and Jon Lovitz then revisited their Girl-Watchers A Go-Go character from last time Hanks was on a couple episodes ago. This time the pair of losers fail to meet girls while at their ten-year high school reunion.
Jew, Not A Jew was a game show sketch where, obviously, the title says it all. Tom Hanks plays the host who shows the contestants images of famous people along with a brief description of their work before asking, "Jew or not a Jew."
Tom Hanks then parodied his own work by sharing a couple "Big Outtakes" based on the "original idea for the movie" where Tom Hanks' wish comes true but rather than join the adult workforce he remains in Jr. High and uses his size advantage to bully all the children.
Keith Richards then returned to the stage to perform Struggle.
The Pat Stevens Show then returned for another segment of more of the same this time Nora Dunn as Pat interviews the two potential first ladies and again, Phil Hartman as Barbara Bush is the funniest part of the bit.
SNL: S14E02... HOST: MATTHEW BRODERICK... DATE: OCTOBER 15, 1988
This week's show started with a parody of The Graduate with Dan Quayle in the Dustin Hoffman role having no direction in life after actually landing the role of Vice President. Nancy Reagan played the Anne Bancroft character who attempts to seduce the young confused VP who pushes away to announce, "Live from New York..."
Matthew Broderick then officially opened the show with a monolog about being nervous to do live TV for the first time before breaking the fourth wall a la Ferris Bueller to break down the techniques that he using in an effort to win over the crowd when it reality he is only acting.
McDonnell-Rand was apparently a fake ad but I couldn't find it anywhere on the internet.
The Five Beatles was a sketch that followed the tale of a writer, Albert Goldman who apparently bad mouthed John Lennon after his death and has to explain that his animosity stems from the fact that he was actually the fifth Beatle. The sketch starts with a press conference where Goldman is confronted then flashes back to the Liverpool days where his trombone playing was so off putting that the rest of the group decided to send him packing.
Cooking With Monkey was a cooking show sketch where Dana Carvey doesn't cook with a monkey as one might expect but instead shares recipes and techniques of how to cook with monkey meat treating it like a standard ingredient that could be found in any store. At one point the fake show cuts away to a segment where Dana visits a restaurant with monkeys on display for the patron to select as if they were picking a lobster.
The Sugarcubes then took to the stage to perform Birthday.
Once again, Dennis Miller gave us the news. This week, A. Whitney Brown dropped in for another Big Picture segment about how politicians never talk about the weather which again proves that A. Whitney was way ahead of his time, talking about environmental issues that eventually evolved into what we know as Global Warming or Climate Change.
We then went to a Nude Beach for a sketch where a group of men do nothing but talk about each other's penises, even when the girls join the sketch, penis is the main topic until it's revealed that this is actually a PSA against being judgmental about size when we are all the same within our hearts.
The Thumper Family was a sit-com of a sketch with a bible-thumping family who overreact to everything as the loudly attempt to cast Satan out of everyone and everything in every situation.
Learning To Feel then returned for another segment where Nora Dunn claims to help audience members with their problems while only giving super simplified answers that the guests take as super enlightened words. Again, this is one of those sketches where I don't know the show being parodied that seems boring because the joke is very subtle and not funny on its own.
Laurie Has A Story was a short film featuring Laurie Metcalf and Catherine O'Hara that takes place at a dinner party. After some casual banter, Catherine convinces Laurie to tell what is set up to be a super funny story only to get interrupted after every other word.
Hollywood Salute was apparently a sketch that paid homage to old fictional Hollywood actor but was another sketch that I couldn't find anywhere on the internet.
The Sugarcubes then returned to the stage to perform Motorcrash.
We then went to an elementary school for a sketch called The Baby And The Fairy. In the sketch, Nealon, Carvey and Hooks all play bullies who attempt to bully Matthew Broderick who is just a baby. Being the Broderick is so you he gives very straight forward answers to their taunts like when they said something to the effect of, "What's the matter, baby? Do you miss your mommy?" He calmly answers, "Well, as a matter of fact, I do." Rather than give up or get frustrated the bullies just continue their taunts until the switch their target to Phil Hartman who steps out of the classroom dress as the tooth-fairy who gets the same treatment and gives the same sort of response.
Finally, Matthew Broderick closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.
Saturday Night Live, SNL, Matthew Broderick, Challenge, My Saturday Night Life, 9/6/2017
SNL: S14E03... HOST: JOHN LARROQUETTE... DATE: OCTOBER 22, 1988
This week's show started at the Dukakis headquarter with his campaign manager yelling at him about his bland personality and how it is turning off voters. Soon after the campaign manager leaves the room, it's revealed that Dukakis is actually an alien as he takes a teleconference with the leaders of his home planet, who talk just like him, about his failed attempt to take over as the Earth's leader starting with a presidential win. He almost gets caught but then vaporizes the intruder before announcing, "Live from New York..."
John Larroquette then officially opened the show with a monolog about how excited he is to be back as the host with the monolog being his favorite part because of the fact that this portion of the show is all about him with no one to steal his spotlight. He then challenges the audience to even attempt to take his place in a very aggressive way which leads what looks to be a rugby player from college to rush the stage only to be taken down immediately. This only heightens Larroquette's power trip which leads Dana Carvey to come out and try to tone him down only to end up on the losing side of a surprise game of mercy with Larroquette taking on the posture of an evil overlord.
Come Back To Carbon Paper was a fake ad for old school carbon paper for those moments with the photocopier goes down.
Dan Quayle: President was a sketch that took place in the future, which correctly predicted that George Bush Sr. won, showing the world after Bush has died, leaving Dan Quale in charge of the free world with him being just afraid of this potential outcome as the rest of the White House staff.
Portrait Of The Artist was a PBS style sketch where we see the late life activities of Pablo Picasso where he's at a cafe and has grown to be so arrogant about his work that he treats even the slightest of efforts to be the creation of a master piece that can be treated as currency only to end having to wash dishes after realizing that he forgot his wallet at home and could not pay the bill.
This was followed by a fake TV ad for a country album called The Crests And Troughs Of Vernon Hawley Jr. that makes fun of the traditional country themes of drinking, trucks, and old dogs.
We then got a fake political Vote Bush ad promoting the potential president over Dukakis simply because he is tall.
Pete's Fountain was a sketch that took place in a diner where everyone speaks in sexual innuendos. Then John Larroquette enters as the health inspector only to quickly leave without finding a problem and the other patrons quickly follow as well. This leaves Nora Dunn alone as the waitress with a big ass who closed up shop and then makes a whole lot of noise as she crams her ass into the booth to enjoy her after work meal to end this sketch where nothing actually happens.
We then got another fake political Vote Bush ad where this time they promote the potential president simply because his parents were born in America when Dukakis's were not.
Randy Newman and Mark Knopfler then took to the stage to perform It's Money That Matters.
Once again, Dennis Miller gave us the news. This week, Al Franken played Lyndon LaRouche to give a commentary on how horrible both candidates were making it sound like the 2016 presidential race only scaled down and less aggressively polarizing. Kevin Nealon also dropped in to talk about the election but as always he ended up rambling on about everything other than the initial topic. Finally, Dana Carvey came in as Dennis Miller once again for another rebuttal of his own statements.
Restaurant Sex Talk was, as the title suggests a sketch that took place in a fancy restaurant with John Larroquette on a double date where he and Victoria Jackson talk nothing but sex which makes the other couple super uncomfortable as well as the other patrons. Once confronted, it turns out that all of this sex talk is to over compensate for the failure that their relationship actually is which makes the uptight couple feel like jerks until their hear Larroquette and Jackson having sex in the bathroom when they were supposed to be collecting themselves after share their potential relationship doom and tales of their rough childhoods that led them to live this type of life.
Randy Newman and Mark Knopfler then returned to the stage to perform Dixie Flyer.
We then got a parody of the show This Old House with John Larroquette as Bob Villa who is remodeling a couples house that is haunted by an aggressive spirit while giving tips on how to cover words written in blood and house to sound proof a room from demons.
We then got yet another fake political Vote Bush ad this time the argument is that Bush should be picked over Dukakis simply because Bush has white European ancestors and Dukakis doesn't
Gay Communist Gun Club was a public access show sketch where John Larroquette and Phil Hartman play gay communist gun owners who take calls from the audience who mainly question if they can join the club with only one or two of the titular qualifiers.
Finally, John Larroquette closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.
Saturday Night Live, SNL, John Larroquette, Challenge, My Saturday Night Life, 9/7/2017
SNL: S14E04... HOST: MATTHEW MODINE... DATE: NOVEMBER 5, 1988
This week's show started with a parody of Full Metal Jacket with Phil Hartman as the aggressive Drill Sergeant only unlike R. Lee Ermey's character from the film his insults aren't that quick and are very uncreative. Just like in the movie Hartman walks down the line of soldiers giving them nicknames but unlike the movie these nicknames are uninspired and end with the announcement of, "Live from New York..."
Matthew Modine then officially opened the show with a monolog about being a method actor, living as his characters on and off the set then goes on to list example claiming to actually be other actors from De Niro's Raging Bull character to Oprah in The Color Purple. He then quickly threw to the show.
We then got a fake political ad The Republican Party trying to show just how diverse the party is by putting a handful of people with different ethnicities who agree with the party front and center with the rest of the gathering being nothing but white guys in suits.
The Liberal was a parody of The Fugitive only instead of being an ex-con Matthew Modine plays the last liberal of the land who is on the run from all the Republicans. Victoria Jackson takes him in where he struggles to hide his liberal views in his efforts to blend in as a conservative.
Church Chat then returned for another installment of more of the same with the Church Lady. As always, I found these sketches to be very fun when they originally aired but am now burnt out on the character to where I find the repetitiveness a bit boring rather than sitting on the edge of my seat like I used to, waiting to join in and say... "Maybe, SATAN..." Though this may sound very harsh, there is still enough nostalgic value to the sketch that even though it's not my favorite, I wouldn't go so far as to say that I hated it. This particular installment was fun because not only was there a real life monkey there was also a real like Morton Downey Jr. who was my favorite freak show host.
Edie Brickell And The New Bohemians then took to the stage to perform What I Am?
Once again, Dennis Miller gave us the news. This week, a crew member walked into the shot on accident while setting up for Al Franken who draws every state from memory while explaining the Electoral College giving states to the candidates based on the views of celebrities from the day and polling information or anything legitimate. A. Whitney Brown also dropped in for yet another Big Picture segment where without using the modern term he discusses the de-evolution of our election process to uninspired lesser of two evil voting.
Dukakis After Dark was a sketch where Lovitz as Dukakis uses this last minute broadcasting effort to say screw it, as he knows that he losing so uses the prepaid nonrefundable commercial time to have a Playboy After Dark parody of a party that was too caught up with political minutia from the time for me to get many of the references and being that there was more parodying of specific politicians and not policy, I didn't bother to look up what they were talking about and found myself zoning out.
Win, Lose Or Tie was a parody of Win, Lose, Or Draw only this is the day time edition with lesser known clebs like you would now see on shows like Dancing With The Stars who are desperate for any publicity.
We then got a fake Dukakis Ad showing Barbara Bush as a beautiful woman when she and George got married. They then showed her as she looked at the time while saying something to the effect of, "If this is what Bush did to his wife, just imagine how the country will look with at least four years with this man as president."
Edie Brickell and The New Bohemians then returned to the stage to perform Little Miss S.
Lenny And Two Sammies was a sketch about two basement dwelling buddies with the same names who do nothing but drink beer all day while watching hockey and talking about their unrealistic dreams, like the Swiss Army Hockey Stick and other ways to avoid a real job. Lenny eventually joins with a kindred dumb guy attitude but is against the violence in what used to be his favorite sport and has plans to coach a group of kids to be more peaceful in their action but then realizes he can't change the sport so gives in and joins the two Sammies on the couch to drink beer and waste time while watching sports.
Finally, Matthew Modine closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.
Saturday Night Live, SNL, Matthew Modine, Challenge, My Saturday Night Life, 9/8/2017
SNL: S14E05... HOST: DEMI MOORE... DATE: NOVEMBER 12, 1988
This week's show started with Bush's Final Negative Ad before the election where Dana Carvey as Bush introduces the ad by explaining that he had to spend the last of his campaign money or else it would revert to the federal treasury so he figured why not spend it all on this epic piece of slander highlighting all of Dukakis's flaws and the flaws of the Democratic Party as well. Though this is a parody of propaganda it's not all that far off from where we are now. Of course, this being the opening sketch, it ended with the announcement of, "Live from New York..."
Demi Moore then officially opened the show with a monolog about her marriage, recently born child and how Saturday Night Live wasn't all that flexible when scheduling this show with a new mom. I kept expecting to turn into a joke but it never did. By the end of the monolog, she simply states that the baby is asleep in the dressing room before a quick brag about losing the pregnancy weight in a tone that's got me seeing red flags.
Neuburg's Bleu Cheese Cooler was a fake ad for a Bleu Cheesed flavored sparkling wine that parodied the less filling/tastes great ad campaign from Miller Light.
We then got a parody of the Beauty And The Beast TV show from the time with Jon Hooks as the Beauty and Phil Hartman as Beast. In the sketch, the two titular characters are on a drive-in double date with Demi Moore and the Beast's less confident brother who was played by Jon Lovitz and is too much of a spazz to make any sort of connection.
Camping With Hans And Franz is more of the same with the weight lifting brothers only this installment took place near a tent. Again, as always, I'm still humored by these two but there aren't all that many new developments to these characters. That said, this week we do learn that they are afraid of werewolves, but that only get brought to light when they hear a strange noise as no furry beast ever arrives.
The World Of Dr. Know-It-All was pretty much a parody of Mr. Wizards World where Phil Hartman plays Dr. Know-It-All who tries to teach children the ways of science with experiments like sucking a gerbil up to explain the concepts behind a vacuum cleaner or pulling a fish out of the aquarium to prove they need water to breathe. Aside from these twisted science experiments, the other aspect of this sketch is to make fun of women for not being as well educated when it comes to science.
Johnny Clegg & Savuka then took to the stage to perform I Call Your Name.
Once again, Dennis Miller gave us the news. This week, Dennis Miller questioned if all the SNL jokes helped contribute to a Bush Sr. presidency (sound familiar), then there was a satellite interview between him and "Imelda Marcos" about how she might go to prison where she starts sharing her fears then goes on to brag about what her life used to be before her and her husband got caught stealing money from the citizens that they were supposed to lead. This was followed by a visit from Victoria Jackson about how she and the rest of her Baby Boomer generation was the most anxiety ridden age group by far, and this was before they had the stress of actually running the world straight into the ground with their greed and inability to step down from power to give the younger generations their deserved shot at being in charge.
One Man's Demons was a sketch where Phil Hartman and Demi Moore play a couple at home with Demi trying to do her end-of-the-day chores. Every time that she asks for help two demons show up around his shoulders but instead of these demons being one bad one good, both the evil beings encourage Phil Hartman to do only good yet he still seems to be conflicted. After a few examples of these positive but controlling thoughts, a psychiatrist takes Hartman away for being too helpful as a family man.
Woman Vs. Rattlesnake was a sketch where Demi Moore and Kevin Nealon play a couple out in the Rockies to explore the vacant plot of land where they plan to build a cabin. At one point, Demi has a seat on a log only to find she landed right next to a rattle snake. Thinking quickly, Kevin Nealon tries to shoot the venomous reptile only he empties the gun without hitting anything. He tries multiple techniques to save his wife but only spooks the snake with every attempt causing it to bite her during every effort. Eventually, the snake gets away and just when Demi thinks that she safe Kevin spots a tarantula crawling down her arm leaving us to wonder how the two will take care of this situation.
Lou's Poker Game was the first sketch of the night that I couldn't find anywhere on the internet.
Florszag Travel was the second sketch of the night that I couldn't find anywhere on the internet.
Johnny Clegg & Savuka then returned to the stage to perform Take My Heart Away.
Businessman's Chatter Line was a fake ad for a phone line or businessmen to call as an outlet to talk shop in a way that would bore a non-business type person out of their skin.
Finally, Demi Moore closed the show by thanking the audience and saying her goodnights.
Saturday Night Live, SNL, Demi Moore, Challenge, My Saturday Night Life, 9/9/2017
SNL: S14E06... HOST: JOHN LITHGOW... DATE: NOVEMBER 19, 1988
This week's show started with a parody of The Oprah Winfrey Show where Jan Hooks plays skinny Oprah in her dressing room having cartoon-like hallucinations where she sees people as food due to the fact that she's so hungry. She then goes on to actually host the show where these hallucinations continue and we see food headed guest bicker about their family's problem until Oprah eventually attempts to get a segment producer who to her looks like a giant piece of chicken that yells, "Live from New York..."
John Lithgow then officially opened the show with a monolog about being excited to host for the third time and how he feels the show has genuinely helped his career. He then goes on to explain that he fears that he has an unintentionally sarcastic tone as he sarcastically reads a Thanksgiving note before grabbing a guitar and playing a tune with G.E. Smith.
Long White Beard was a fake ad for a novelty product to emphasize how long you've been waiting in any situation where someone shows up late.
St. Bernard's Church was a sketch where Lithgow plays a priest who works a confession booth for bad dogs.
John Lithgow the reunited with the Master Thespian for another meeting of the minds between two masters in the art of ACTING. I look forward to this sketch whenever Lithgow is signed up to host.
Tracy Chapman then took to the stage to perform Mountains O' Things.
The Pat Stevens Show then returned for another installment of more of the same and still can't understand why they turn to this sketch so often when it was never funny in the first place.
Once again, Dennis Miller gave us the news. This week, Dana Carvey dropped in as Jimmy Stewart to read a poem about his dog. Jon Lovitz also stopped by for a segment about himself.
The Alamo was a sketch about the titular battle that parodies the armies decision to fight to the very end despite being the underdogs at the time and for some reason everyone from Tarzan to aliens from outer space where involved in the decision making.
Tracy Chapman then returned to the stage to perform Freedom Now and Baby, Can I Hold You back to back.
Keister Family Thanksgiving was a sketch that took place after Thanksgiving dinner where the men of the family are so stuffed that they can barely move so they settle in to watch the Thanksgiving football game while burping and farting their bloated bellies away while the women of the family continue to bring them food.
Skeleton Phobia was a sketch where Lithgow played a college professor at medical school who is deathly afraid of skeletons to the point where he can barely do his job
SNL: S14E07... HOST: DANNY DEVITO... DATE: DECEMBER 3, 1988
This week's show started with another installment of Pumping Up With Hans And Franz where they are back in their TV gymnasium and answering viewer mail by bragging about their muscles no matter what the questions are. After viewer mail Danny DeVito entered the scene as a new addition to their pumped up family who warns that Arnold is on the way because they must have been in town together promoting the movie Twins because the real Arnold does make an appearance to make the manly men feel like little girls. As always, with this being the opening sketch, it ended with the announcement of, "Live from New York..."
Danny DeVito then officially opened the show with a monolog about being excited to host the show while trying to explain how the adrenalin feels so he runs backstage in order to officially open the show again and gets so worked up with excitement that he has to lay down and take a nap.
We then got a fake ad for Big Red which is one of my favorite obscure commercials of all time about a Viking toy that you fill with fake blood and when you pull the attached string the toy sprays blood all over the room through its Viking helmet horns. I think the Big Red song is actually my favorite part.
Sex Tonight was a parody of an Entertainment Tonight type talk show where Kevin Nealon and Jan Hooks play the hosts who talk about all the sex in the news at the time in a sketch that felt like it went on forever without any involvement from the host.
Reclino Love Lounge was a fake ad within the Sex Tonight sketch where Wilford Brimley pitches a sex chair for the elderly.
Bankrupt Scrooge was a follow up to the Scrooge story where it's the Christmas after he saw the ghosts and is now bankrupt from all of the good deeds that he's done since gaining the Christmas spirit to where Bob Cratchit now looks like the jerk for not appreciated all of Scrooges efforts now that he doesn't have all that much to give.
The Bangles then took to the stage to perform In Your Room.
Once again, Dennis Miller gave us the news. This week, "Yasser Arafat" checked in via satellite to share his experience in Switzerland being that he's there for a peace summit and is more excited about his experience traveling than any efforts to reach a world peace agreement with the rest of the people involved. Kevin Nealon also got a segment where he started out talking about the deficit only to end up rambling off topic as his character usually does.
You Shot Me! was a sketch that took place in a Mexican Tavern way back in the days of the Wild West where Danny DeVito enters the establishment as a bad ass bandito who accidentally hits Jon Lovitz with a bullet while shooting at his feet in an attempt to get him to dance. Though DeVito was being a bully that actually shooting was a complete accident that he instantly regrets as the rest of the patrons pile on by guilt tripping DeVito into regretting the fact that he drew his gun in the first place.
The Bastard Battalion was a WWII sketch which mainly consisted of soldiers being everyday jerks while throwing around the word, "Bastard," at whoever was being a jerk at the time of the example being shared.
The Bangles then returned to the stage to perform Hazy Shade Of Winter.
Celebrity Restaurant was a sketch that took place in a restaurant that only lets celebrities into the main dining area while all the average attendees have to cram into a tiny bar. The main joke of the sketch is people having to justify their level of celebrity to Dana Carvey who is working the door.
Danny DeVito then played an Amateur Guardian Angel to recreate the scene from It's A Wonderful Life only he jumped the gun and attempted to save the life of Kevin Nealon who never even planned to jump. This failed save leads Phil Hartman to arrive as DeVito's supervisor and through their conversation, DeVito wished that he was never dead. This leads to Dana Carvey to arrive and Hartman's supervisor to correct him on his treating of Danny DeVito.
SNL: S14E08... HOST: KEVIN KLINE... DATE: DECEMBER 10, 1988
This week's show started with A Trump Christmas with Donald and Ivana Trump in their gaudy Trump Tower apartment on the Christmas Eve after coming home from a boring holiday party. Not only do they seem bored by the festive night activities but they seem even more bored by their pampered rich lives. They do a gift exchange in an effort to lighten the mood where Donald bought Ivana an obnoxious golden door for Mar-a-Largo and Ivana bought Donald a golden anchor for the biggest of his many yachts. After the exchange, it's revealed that Ivana sold Mar-a-Largo to afford the anchor and Donald sold the yacht in order to buy the door but neither are worried because Donald already has a plan to buy everything back while forcing the buyers to give him a deal because that's the way he works. As always, with this being the opening sketch it ended with the announcement of, "Live from New York..."
Kevin Kline then officially opens the show by playing piano with the band before taking the center stage to do a monolog about all the theatrical work that he's done before calling the Master Thespian to the stage as his favorite Shakespearian actor of all time. The two go on to do a bit of an ACTING routine before throwing to the first non-opening sketch.
Game Breakers was a game show sketch where contestants have to answer trivia questions but there doesn't seem to be a joke. That is until Kevin Nealon loses and Kevin Kline as host takes a break to walk Kevin down to the street and console while he waits for a cab as if this was an end to an awkward date. Victoria Jackson then stepped in as the next contestant and when Kevin Kline says, "Let's get to know our next contestant," rather than asker her question on the air he takes her out to dinner where the two have an awkward run in with Kevin Nealon.
Plug Away was a talk show sketch hosted by "Harvey Fierstein" where he and his guest blatantly plug their projects while Harvey also, "Just wants to be loved," which is the secondary topic of the discussion. In this week's installment "Jimmy Stewart" dropped in to plug that his movie Harvey is being released on VHS only to get kicked off the show by admitting that he wouldn't be interested in Fierstein even if he was gay. Jack Nicholson is the second guest to plug his upcoming role in Batman but also gets kicked off the show for not loving Harvey in a fictional gay scenario. Peter Allen is the last of the guests to experience the same results.
Bobby McFerrin then took to the stage to perform Drive.
Once again, Dennis Miller gave us the news. This week, A. Whitney Brown gave us another great Big Picture segment about Mikhail Gorbachev's visit/speech to the United States. Unfortunately, though this segment was pretty good it was the only clip from this week's news that I was able to find on the internet.
Kevin Kline then took to the stage to introduce a sketch that shared the Alternate "Big Chill" Ending where the surrogate sex between Kline and his late friend's wife is wilder than in the actual movie and Kline's wife is stuck in the living room where she has to listen to it all. With Kline's wife being Glenn Close in the actual film the sketch eventually ended on a Fatal Attraction joke with her killing and cooking a bunny due to the pent up anger from having to hear her husband cheat on her for an entire night when it was supposed to be clinical sex purely for the sake of procreation.
Desert Island Agency was a sketch that I couldn't find anywhere on the internet.
Bobby McFerrin then returned to the stage to perform The Star-Spangled Banner.
Raspberry Response was a sketch where Victoria Jackson and Kevin Kline play a couple and Victoria responded to every single question from her husband by making a bored fart sound with her tongue to pooh-pooh his efforts to make small talk.
We then got a repeat of Roy Orbison performing Cryin' from the end of Season 12.
Finally, Kevin Kline closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.
Saturday Night Live, SNL, Kevin Kline, Challenge, My Saturday Night Life, 9/12/2017
SNL: S14E09... HOST: MELANIE GRIFFITH... DATE: DECEMBER 17, 1988
This week's show started with Church Lady On Christmas Eve where we went away from the Church Chat studio to see the Church Lady's bed time prayer and other pre-sleep rituals to ward of the evils caused by SATAN. Apparently, these prayers to get the devil to stay away were of no use because Lovitz eventually arrives as Lucifer and attempt to trick the holy one into selling her soul but she doesn't buy in and gets a Satan statue for her dashboard as a consolation prize. This gift/cursed object came with a note that read, "Live from New York..."
Melanie Griffith then officially opened the show with a monolog about how she excited to host the Christmas episode before sharing her views on the true meaning of the season which is world peace and what not, only to have a disclaimer running at the same time reassuring that neither the show nor the network endorses her me harmonious views.
First Guardian MetroCard was a fake ad for a bank that goes so far with their customer service that they actually call their clients when they see excess spending, not for security purposes but instead to act like a surrogate husband in a cliche world where men are apparently responsible with their spending and have to keep an eagle's eye on what their wives buy even if it's their own personal funds. Even after justifying each purchase, the ad still ends with Melanie Griffith appreciating the service saying it feels like she has a new dad.
Miss Self-Esteem USA Pageant was a sketch about a beauty pageant for women who genuinely have a high sense of self-worth. We then met the three final contestants, Jan Hooks who is self-confident in a self-help bumper sticker talk, Victoria Jackson who isn't actually confident at all and is there by default being the only one to apply from her region, and Melanie Griffith who is confident in a New York that some might consider a bitch. It turns out that Melanie Griffith is the only one with a true self-esteem but that's because she's the only one who doesn't seem to try to fit in with the traditional views on what's considered feminine because she's unpolished and just acts like herself.
We then to a CIA Christmas Party where everyone tries to mingle but can't really speak about anything due to the secrecy involved in their line of work
Community Chapstick was a sketch where Kevin Nealon borrows Dana Carvey's Chapstick as if he were just borrowing a pen. Nealon thinks nothing of this while Carvey is understandably freaked out. As soon as Kevin Nealon leaves the scene person after person notice and borrow the lip gloss as if it were no big deal, while the mouths of the people involved continually grow to be more and more disturbing ending on a big lipped alien who asks for a shmear.
Little Feat then took to the stage to perform Let It Roll.
Once again, Dennis Miller gave us the news. This week, Victoria Jackson dropped in for a poem about a Christmas Tree that she recited while standing on her hands and dressed as the festive plant only she falls just before finishing her performance but she's graceful enough to land without getting hurt. Dana Carvey as Dennis also stopped by and the dueling Dennises did a reading of A Night Before Christmas.
The Sweeney Sisters then ended up in jail because they were mistaken for hookers due to their fur coats, big hair, and caked on lounge singer style make-up. It doesn't take long for the mix up to be resolved but during their short stay, they made a connection with Melanie Griffith so they say their good byes with a medley of jail themed songs.
Love Is A Dream was a black and white dream of a sketch where an old Jan Hooks enters a bank to check her security box and the tiara inside sends her back to a colorized version of the world where she is young and gets serenaded by Phil Hartman as the two start to ballroom dance while Hooks joins in on the song. This sketch also aired either on Phil Hartman's last episode or the weekend after he was killed, either way, it's pretty moving no matter the occasion it's connected to.
Little Feat then returned to the stage to perform Hate To Lose Your Lovin'.
Misreading Signals was a sketch where Melanie Griffith played the boss who takes a meeting with Kevin Nealon who tries to make out with her every few seconds while she does absolutely nothing but do her job and he claims to be seeing signals even though she is perfectly clear that she's not interested, to the point where she eventually calls security to get him to leave. There's a really interesting tone to this sketch because it is clear that Nealon is being inappropriate while Melanie never even hints at playing along to where it feels like a bit of a modern serious message instead of something silly that just didn't age well with time. Based on the audience's reactions it was hard to tell if this whether or not it was ever meant to be funny in the first place.
Tonto, Tarzan, and Frankenstein then returned for another Season's Greetings where the trio sang Deck The Halls.
Finally, Melanie Griffith closed the show by thanking the audience and saying her goodnights.
Saturday Night Live, SNL, Melanie Griffith, Challenge, My Saturday Night Life, 9/13/2017
SNL: S14E10... HOST: JOHN MALKOVICH... DATE: JANUARY 21, 1989
This week's show started in the San Francisco 49ers' locker room since they just won Super Bowl XXIII. During the post-game interview, the 49ers' coach gets a call from newly elected George Bush who wants to congratulate the team for the win. Halfway through the conversation, the call is interrupted by Ronald Reagan who thinks he should be the one doing the congratulating being that he was the president during the actual season while Bush was just VP. After clearing up the confusion, Bush attempt to continue his call with Reagan constantly interrupting, unaware that he is still on the line. Eventually, everyone gives up leaving Reagan alone to announce, "Live from New York..."
John Malkovich then officially opened the show with a strange monolog where Malkovich plays up his quirky side to talk about his family and hometown in the monotone voice of a serial killer while also talking so fast it was kind of hard to follow along while at the same time being awkwardly entertaining.
We then got a repeat of the fake First Citiwide Change Bank ad from the first episode of this season for a bank that specializes in giving out change.
We then went to the White House for Nancy Reagan's final day where she and Barbara Bush say their goodbyes over tea. During their conversation, it slowly sets in with Nancy that she is no longer the first lady and doesn't make the rules, which is a very difficult pill for her to swallow.
This was followed by the second part of the First Citiwide Change Bank ad that played after the monolog.
Attitudes was a parody of a Lifetime Channel talk show with Jan Hooks and Nora Dunn as a pair of hosts who fight for the spotlight while attempting to interview John Malkovich who plays a Pacific Northwest artists who is almost a Portlandia character talking very unenthusiastically about the boring work that goes into his driftwood sculpting career. Meanwhile, as this interview continues to progress, the two hosts try their hardest to make this an exciting segment
Gary Busey Motorcycle Helmets was a fake ad for a giant helmet and an even bigger helmet to be worn as a helmet protector being that this was around the time of his accident.
Anita Baker then took to the stage to perform Giving You The Best That I Got.
Mocking Lord Edmund was a sketch that took place in 1635 with John Malkovich playing the titular Lord who accuses his love of mocking him even though she showed zero signs of even the slightest taught. Meanwhile, his two guards openly mock him behind his back. This pattern of falsely accusing his guests of mockery continues with the two guards making faces behind his back.
Once again, Dennis Miller gave us the news. This week, we see Dan Quayle struggling to repeat after the Supreme Court Judge while being sworn in as the vice president since most of the coverage follow Bush. We also got a retrospect of Reagan's presidential career and A. Whitney Brown dropped in for another great Big Picture segment about the inauguration of Papa Bush and how much money was spent on celebration before the victory was even official.
We then went to a back porch family Bar-B-Que where out of nowhere a California Condor crashes into the sliding glass door leaving it very injured but not dead. This is such a big bird that it freaks everyone out especially as the men at the party struggle to put it out of its misery using a croquette mallet, a bat, and even a b.b. gun. The thing that makes it worse is the men are too timid to land a solid blow making this poor bird's last moments even worse than if they just left it to die on its own.
Anita Baker then returned to the stage to perform Just Because.
We then went to the White House back in 1820 to hear a presentation from Johnny Canal played by Malkovich who was a Davy Crockett type who was pitching the idea of building a canal system that runs throughout the entire country with multiple branches leading into every single town only his idea is quickly shot down when the politicians being pitched to question the feasibility of this system that doesn't make any sense.
Kevin Nealon then played a radio DJ named Tony Trailer to make fun of the early morning radio talk ups that make it impossible to enjoy the song as he interrupts every few seconds with news, weather, and traffic far after the song hits the post.
Finally, John Malkovich closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.
Saturday Night Live, SNL, John Malkovich, Challenge, My Saturday Night Life, 9/14/2017
SNL: S14E11... HOST: TONY DANZA... DATE: JANUARY 28, 1989
This week's show started with A Message From Ted Bundy where he talked about the importance of a reliable energy source playing with the idea that his electric chair malfunctioned allowing him the time to give this message before round two of the state's effort to end his life. Since he knew he would soon be dead he added the words, "For now, I'm..." to the announcement of, "Live from New York..."
Tony Danza then officially opened the show with a monolog about the changes in his life since he last hosted the show three years ago. This includes a few dad just about now being married with a child which is apparently the only thing that changed as he ended his routine off with another tap dance routine just like the first time he was on.
This was followed by a repeat of the Carbon Paper ad from last season that makes fun of the dying product since this was the time the photocopiers started to be readily available in the workspace.
Da War Of Da Woilds was a parody or War Of The Worlds only everyone involved has a Jersey accent. In this rendition, Jon Lovitz and Tony Danza are fishing when they notice a couple UFOs and go off to warn the Jersey accented world.
We then joined Victoria Jackson and Jan Hooks who were having dinner at a fancy restaurant that is filled with celebrities and by the way they talk it's clear that this is a new hot spot because they're not used to this caliber of clientele. After pointing out several big names in acting, Victoria Jackson notices Jesus Christ in the corner booth with three other biblical figures from his time. The rest of the sketch is made up of everyone in the restaurant bugging the savior with a piece of paper to sign.
John Hiatt then took to the stage to perform Paper Thin.
As World Turn was a soap opera parody with Tonto, Tarzan, Frankenstein, and Jane being the source of the episode's drama as Tonto informs Tarzan that Frankenstein is having an affair with Jane.
Tony Danza then hosted an ad for Maydenform lingerie where he speaks in soft tones like the ad being parodied while using stereotypical Italian/Guido talk to describe the women's apparel being sold.
Sing Along With Tonto, Tarzan And Frankenstein returned for another installment. This time the trio sings Old Suzanna.
Once again, Dennis Miller gave us the news. This week, Jean Dixon checked in via satellite to make predictions about the upcoming year mainly talking in circles without fully committing to a single word that she says. We also got to overhear what happens on the world leader chat line that's just as vapid as an average chat line seemed to be. Mike Myers also made his news debut as an angry Scottish character who yells at the audience for not knowing a thing about his motherland which doesn't seem to go over well at first but the audience is with him by the end.
Tony Danza then played a working-class guy named Frankie who knocks on the door of a house that is so nice that the owners have a butler. Tony then asks for the man of the house and it sounds like he wants to propose to his daughter and that the homeowner is offended because he's a working stiff. It turns out the man is actually offended because Tony wants to marry the man's wife and now it sounds like the two were having an affair until Victoria Jackson enters the room as the said wife and we learn that the two have never even met each other. This confusion goes on for a while until two doctors from the psych ward knock on the door revealing that he's actually an escaped mental patient and is quickly taken away.
Victor's Stakeout was a sketch where Tony Danza and Kevin Nealon are staking out a house from an apartment across the street. They have a man on the street who they talk to through an earpiece and we just hear their side of the conversation after discovering Victor's been spotted and the person being watched is now out to our undercover cop that is never seen while treating the eventual attack like it's not that big of a deal even though it sounds horrible based on their play by play..
John Hiatt then returned to the stage to perform Slow Turning.
We then went to a diner for a sketch where Kevin Nealon is enjoying his lunch and gets annoyed when he spots Tony Danza checking out his meal leading him to aggressively ask What Are You Lookin' At? The rest of the sketch is pretty much an improv game where every line delivered is a question, most often starting with "What?"
We then got a repeat of the Sincere Guy Stu sketch from way back when Joe Montana was host and plays an extremely honest roommate who openly admits he will be in his room masturbating while his uptight roommate is trying to come up with a fake excuse as to why his date will be staying over for the night. This is re-aired due to Montana's recent Super Bowl win over the Bengals.
SNL: S14E12... HOST: TED DANSON... DATE: FEBRUARY 11, 1989
This week's show started with a parody of Cheers where the SNL a politician from the time whose alcoholism led to a scandal is demanding drinks from Dana Carvey as Woody even though it is after last call. Woody eventually calls Sam over who is actually played by Ted Danson and the politician manages to talk him into pouring another drink in exchange for secret information. Sam gives in and pours the drink but the secret information is worthless. This is when Sam looks over to the other side of the bar to see a passed out Dukakis. The two drunken politician then continue to ramble on as both Sam and Woody try to get them to leave because it's closing time. Eventually, the first politician starts to announce the opening line only he passes out leaving Dukakis to announce, "Live from New York..."
Ted Danson then officially opened the show with a monolog about peer pressure when it comes to clapping saying to only clap when you really feel it or if the applause sign is lit up. He then goes on to blatantly plug his movie Cousins, which up to this point only a handful of hosts have done. During the plug, he informs the audience that, like Three Men And A Baby, Cousins is based on a foreign film and claims SNL is an American remake as well, then throws to a clip with Mike Myers doing an opening monolog only in French where he pees his pants while acting nervous. When we come back from the clip Ted Danson remakes the same routine only a little different to appeal to the American audience.
Sleepytime Rat Control was a fake ad for a sleeping pill for sewer rats for those who want a humane way to deal with an infestation problem, with the idea being a sleeping rat is better than an active one since they never suggest removal.
The Iranian People's Court was a pretty offensive sketch making fun of the Iranian language and culture while parodying The People Court.
Women Can't Say No was a sketch where Victoria, Jan, and Nora are enjoying wine in their apartment complaining about how they are too nice to say no when Ted Danson arrives, as the neighbor. Though the three women would prefer to have girls' night alone the next thing you know, Ted Danson's inside after inviting himself and making out with whichever girl is left alone during the girl's sidebar conversations about trying to get him to leave. He then leaves on his own after having sex with the last girl left alone with him.
Plug Away then returned for another installment where Jon Lovitz as Harvey Fierstein continues to sneak in questions to guest as to whether or not they find him attractive because he, "Just wants to be loved... Is that so wrong," and then gives them an opportunity to plug their latest project. This week is a Valentine's Day special with "Pat Riley", "Roseanne Barr", and "Casey Kasem."
Luther Vandross then took to the stage to perform She Won't Talk To Me.
Once again, Dennis Miller gave us the news. This week, "George Michael" checked in via satellite to complain that his butt wasn't featured enough in a recent TV commercial which was the only clip that I could find on the internet from this week's news and it cut off the first part so I don't know what the commercial in question was for.
We then went to a New York apartment where Nora Dunn and Ted Danson play a couple who are Living With Hogs. At first, they seem very into the idea until the cleaning lady quits. This causes Danson to start and second guess, not the hogs but the idea of living in the city with them. The downstairs neighbor then dropped by to complain only to be treated as if he's the one who's strange for taking issue with the living condition of the apartment full of hogs that are starting to affect the entire building. The moment he leaves the two treat the confrontation as just an uptight neighbor who loves to complain and that they are the normal ones.
Dana Carvey's Grumpy Old Man then made his debut, complaining to Old Man Jon Lovitz about the youth of today while sharing his childhood struggles while claiming, "That's the way it was and we LIKED IT," with Old Man Lovitz fanning the flame by adding his own examples.
Luther Vandross then took to the stage to perform For You To Love.
Kevin's First Love was a sketch that I couldn't find anywhere on the internet.
Going To England was another sketch that I couldn't find anywhere on the internet.
Finally, Ted Danson closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.
Saturday Night Live, SNL, Ted Danson, Challenge, My Saturday Night Life, 9/16/2017
SNL: S14E13... HOST: LESLIE NIELSEN... DATE: FEBRUARY 18, 1989
This week's show started with Iran's Most Wanted which parodied America's Most Wanted in its profile of Salman Rushdie who was considers the most wanted man in Iran at the time because of his book The Satanic Verses, treating his education and desire to write like criminal activities where Lucifer literally helped him to author his book. Of course being that this is the opening sketch it ended with the announcement of, "Live from New York..."
Leslie Nielsen then officially opened the show with a monolog about his early dramatic acting career and how he accidentally landed in comedy. Even though his explanation is pretty there's still something funny about the way that he carries himself which is the entire point of his story.
We then got a repeat of the fake Neuburg's Bleu Cheese Cooler from earlier in the season which was a fake ad for a cheese flavored sparkling wine.
We then went to a bar with Mr. Subliminal for his first sketch outside of the news. Leslie Nielsen plays his apprentice who is there to learn Kevin Nealon's subliminal ways but is horrible at putting it to practice as he ends up subliminally flirting with a cop who hears the hidden messages quite well.
Snap Decision was a game show sketch hosted by Leslie Nielsen who is extremely confused but his confidence leads the contestant to think that they are the ones who are lost. There is so much confusion throughout the sketch that points and control are distributed randomly while the contestants continually struggle to figure out what the hell is going on.
The Pat Stevens Show then returned for yet another installment of more of the same from this series that I've yet to be a fan of because I don't know enough about the real Pat Stevens or the show being reference which seems to be required because the audience always gives a positive response every time it airs. This week she interviews a group of legitimate supermodels from the time along with Leslie Nielsen who played a former model who posed in a Sears catalog. The concept of this sketch had me ready to laugh but as it played out I had the same reaction to every Pat Stevens sketch from the past.
Cowboy Junkies then took to the stage to perform Sweet Jane.
Once again, Dennis Miller gave us the news. This week, Al Franken dropped in for a new segment called, Jokes For Macneil-Lehrer Viewers where he tells political jokes that are so steeped in political jargon it's almost impossible to follow along.
The 1960s Movie was a sketch that made fun of movies from that time complete with the '60s style animated opening sequence random car driving transitions and random segments from a cavalcade of stars that don't seem like they will ever connect but everything does manage to come together in the end.
Leslie Nielsen then did what seemed to be an impromptu ad for Geritech products for old people with solutions for everything from people suffering from liver spots to people who are incontinent. They also have products for hemorrhoids and diarrhea all with silly names
Cowboy Junkies then returned to the stage to perform Misguided Angel.
We then went to a fancy restaurant with Leslie Nielsen and Jan Hooks on a date. In the world of the sketch, Leslie's wife just died and he's returning to the dating game and is terrified that it's been so long since entertaining a potential mate that he might end up Saying The Wrong Things and then spends the rest of the evening breaking every single faux pas that he can while being oblivious to offensive he is.
Wayne's World then made its show debut where Wayne and Garth host their cable access show with Phil Hartman as the first guest as Garth's Father/convenient store owner where Wayne and Garth hang out. They interview him a bit about the store then go on to do a top ten list of the things Hartman yells at kids whenever they're in the store. They also interview Jan Hooks about being a hot babe, pretty much using the show as an excuse to flirt.
Finally, Leslie Nielsen closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.
Saturday Night Live, SNL, Leslie Nielsen, Challenge, My Saturday Night Life, 9/17/2017
SNL: S14E14... HOST: GLENN CLOSE... DATE: FEBRUARY 25, 1989
This week's show started with a Bookstore Under Siege where Glenn Close and Phil Hartman defend their shop from the Iranian's who are attacking because they continue to sell Salman Rushdie's Satanic Verses. The place looks like a war zone and even customers with no intentions to buy the controversial book are targets to the attackers, making the store's staff go on dangerous missions to retrieve the innocent books that their customers desire. On one trip out Phil Hartman gets hit but returned with the How To Knit book that he set out for leading to his dying words which are, "Live from New York..."
Glenn Close then officially opened the show with a monolog about how the monolog was the part of the show that she dreaded most of all because she was raised by her mother to not talk about herself in an effort to stay humble. To get around this she invited William Hurt where he pretty much says she's a pain in the ass but this is due to her strong work ethic. From there, he goes on to list off a plethora of backhanded compliments about her career while she stands silently by his side and takes it.
We then got a repeat of the Big Red ad from earlier in the season which was an ad for a Viking toy that sprays blood all over the place when you pull its string.
Alex's Support Group was a sketch we meet a group of people seeking help for some pretty basic mental issues. At first, Dana Carvey seems like he is going to be the extreme case as he is a very quirky shut-in. Then we meet Glenn Close as her Fatal Attraction character who shares her issues from the film which causes the rest of the group to freak out. Even when the rest of the group does give into the process and share their thoughts on her issues, all it takes is a single look from this obsessed stalker to get them back on their guard.
Pumping Up With Hans And Franz then returned for another installment that is mostly the same as far as dialog goes only this time they are selling a new VHS tape where the two muscle-bound brothers take you on a virtual date where as always, they are more interested in themselves and how nobody else can match their size or strength.
Gipsy Kings then took to the stage to perform Bamboleo.
Once again, Dennis Miller gave us the news. This week, A. Whitney Brown dropped in for yet another brilliant Big Picture segment about the growing religious intolerance of the day and how no religion is better than the other in their evil efforts to get everyone to agree with their specific beliefs. "George Michael" also made another visit only this time he was in studio talking about his butt and not via satellite like he was for his last visit.
We then went to the 49th Annual Westminster Mad Dog Show which parodied the real dog contest only with rabid dogs on display being rated on everything from their crazy barks to the amount of foam build up around their mouths. All this with Glenn Close playing an extremely proper British judge/host and Kevin Nealon as his sidekick.
Circle Mad Dog Food was a fake ad within the Westminster Dog Show sketch where Wilford Brimley pitches a line of dog food specifically for these rabid pets with options for puppies to adults with even a choice for those dogs that are too far gone and need to be put down.
Master Thespian then returned for another installment where he is back to his PBS style show. This isn't a talk show but it is still PBS in its style with Lovitz in his den talking out loud about his views of his latest role while writing in his journal. Glenn Close then drops in as the actress who he is starring with and as always the two showcase their "ACTING" while trying to carry out an actual conversation making it hard for either to tell what is real and what is just an act.
Nine Different Levels was a sketch that started with Jon Lovitz and Glenn Close talking about a mutual friend and when Lovitz say something sexist and rude it sends Glenn into a Mary Poppins style song and dance about the nine levels of how women respond to this sort of speech.
Gipsy Kings then returned to the stage to perform Djobi Djoba.
Jealous Of Janelle was a sketch that took place in the South with Glenn Close playing an old lady on the porch enjoying tea with her daughter talking about a recent event. At first, it sounded like a family get-together but then Glenn started to complain about Janelle stealing the spotlight. This is when we learn that the event in question was Janelle's funeral. Jan Hooks, playing the daughter, then has to spend the rest of the sketch calming her mother down as she continues to reminisce about this lifetime resentment toward her deceased sister.
Finally, Glenn Close closed the show by thanking the audience and saying her goodnights.
Saturday Night Live, SNL, Glenn Close, Challenge, My Saturday Night Life, 9/18/2017
SNL: S14E15... HOST: MARY TYLER MOORE... DATE: MARCH 25, 1989
This week's show started with a parody of The 61st Annual Academy Awards with Phil Hartman playing Michael Kane as the Best Documentary presenter who throws to a highlight of the Technical Awards before announcing his nominees. Kevin Nealon played the presenter of the Technical Awards show but he throws to an even more obscure portion of the award show being shot in a field with Jon Lovitz announce the winners of the Best Extras portion of the show. After announcing the category and winner he finished the sketch by also announcing, "Live from New York..."
Mary Tyler Moore then officially opened the show with a monolog about the fact that she just learned SNL was being boycotted because of an earlier episode where the word penis was used twenty-eight time. She then goes on to explain how this goes against her family-friendly image that she's been developing over the years while also chiming in with a couple crude jokes of her own, ending with a joke about Elvis Costello's penis.
The Dan Quayle Show was a parody of The Dick Van Dyke Show with our idiot of a Vice President playing the role of Dick and Mary playing herself from the show. In the sketch, Dan Quayle is afraid that he's not cut out for the job while Mary tries her hardest to help out by contacting 60 Minutes to schedule interviews in an effort to build her husband's confidence. Of course, Quayle is against this out of fear and Mary's efforts backfire in a very sit-com way.
Mary Tyler Moore then played a Customs Officer at the airport who politely gets all of the incoming passengers to admit to the crimes that are attempting to pull off without having to open a single piece of luggage for proof. At one point, Ben Stiller makes his show debut as a new featured player by admitting that he cut in line. Right after that, the sketch ended with Jon Lovitz admitting he has a bunch of diamonds that he's keistering in his ass.
Elvis Costello then took to the stage to perform Veronica.
Once again, Dennis Miller gave us the news. This week, was all news with no guests which I don't mind but I'm not going to summarize every single story that was reported on, though I do wish I had the time and ability to create an entire history book based on this segment of SNL.
Sweeney Sisters then returned for a segment of more of the same. I know it's not an impressive link to connect but I just realized this is pretty much Bill Murray's lounge singer characters with two female performers instead of one guy. Actually, in this segment, there are three ladies as Mary Tyler Moore joins the two sisters after a while.
Robot Repair was an educational sketch that doesn't teach you how to fix broken robots but instead, a robot teaches you how to repair things around the house. This title confusion turns out to be the entire premise of the sketch as they try new titles every week with each new title being more confusing than the last ending on This Old Robot as an attempted fix all that sends the robot into a killing spree.
Lady Rhemington was a sketch for a new lady's razor. Other than the fact that when they cut to the close-up of Mary Tyler Moore's legs as she shaves to reveal that she has a man's hairy legs, this could past as a legitimate commercial for this product.
Elvis Costello then returned to the stage to perform Let Him Dangle.
Broadway Story was a black and white short film that profiles several old-timey actors from back in the day who play out the story of a typical Broadway opening night in the style of a movie shot around the time that they started to ad sound because the audio is terrible as is the quality of film.
Mary Tyler Moore then took to the stage to introduce the next prerecorded sketch where she explained that her favorite part of hosting the show is that it allowed her to play roles outside of what she's been pigeonholed to play. She then throws to the short film/sketch entitled Requiem For Death featuring "The New Guy" AKA Ben Stiller in a Raging Bull type role with Mary playing a mob boss who tried to fix the fight. Everyone else looks the part but Mary looks ridiculous in her padded oversized mafia style suit. She spends most of the sketch trying to be a bad as in an effort to force Ben Stiller to throw the fight but when that doesn't work she begs and pouts which leads her to get her way.
Wayne's World then returned for another installment. This week, the two basement dwelling talk show hosts interview Garth's dad again with Jan Hooks as almost a second sidekick that the dad thinks is Garth's new girlfriend. As promised they act nicer they let Garth's dad plug his convenient start, only to make fun of him behind his back. The dad leaves after the plug leading the boys to introduce Mary Tyler Moore as their math teacher/second guest of the night, but not much is developed from there.
Finally, Mary Tyler Moore closed the show by thanking the audience and saying her goodnights.
Saturday Night Live, SNL, Mary Tyler Moore, Challenge, My Saturday Night Life, 9/19/2017
SNL: S14E16... HOST: MEL GIBSON... DATE: APRIL 1, 1989
This week's show started with a Rain Man parody where Dana Carvey played the Dustin Hoffman role and "Pete Rose" took the place of Tom Cruise to seek help with his gambling picks instead of card counting in Vegas like in the actual movie. Not long into the conversation, it's revealed that Rain Man is the one who leaked Rose's gambling habits to the media. This causes the start to a fight that's quickly interrupted by Ben Stiller who's actually playing Tom Cruise and is there to fight with Pete Rose being that Rain Man is his money maker. It also turns out that the man who runs the home where Rain Man lives is also involved making money off of his investment tips. As the three people in the room with "average intelligence" fight it out they ask Rain Man what he has to say for himself and of course, with this being the opening sketch he turned to the camera to announce, "Live from New York..."
Mel Gibson then officially opened the show with a monolog about how he's a movie star who's not used to TV so he's unsure how the night will go. He then goes on to brag about his lifestyle as an actor with tons of money from easy work where a stuntman jumps in whenever there is danger. Speaking of danger, this monolog is turning me off because even though he's joking, as I've said before, I really hate when the host starts out the night by even pretending they're too good for the show.
Tales of Ribaldry was a sketch about a BBC style show where Jon Lovitz plays an old-timey British chap who introduces a classic story before it actually gets played out. The story for this week's installment is called, The Woodsman And The Lady where Mel Gibson plays the Woodsman and Nora Dunn plays the lady. The two then act out a scene out of a crappy romance novel where Nora tries to trap the Woodsman into having an affair with her, playing off the fact that he was the hot actor of the time and this is just an excuse for him to remove clothing while having his ego massaged. The only thing that makes this sketch funny at all is the fact that Jon Lovitz's character is gay and every time they cut to him, he's more excited than Nora about the scene's progression.
Exxon School Of Supertanker Steering was a fake ad for a telecommuting school that promised anyone can learn to steer a supertanker which was making fun of the Exxon Valdez spill from around that time.
Cooking With The Anal-Retentive Chef was the classic PBS sketch where Phil Hartman plays a chef who is so into cleanliness and order when he realizes his cut bell peppers aren't the same exact size he decides to throw them out and start over. This sends him into a clean-up ritual that is so extreme that it takes up all of the time to where he never gets around to showing us how to cook anything.
Sheriff Josh Acid was a Western parody where Mel Gibson is an acid flinger instead of a gunslinger who has to defend the town. It doesn't take long for Dennis Miller to storm into the bar looking for our quirky hero for a showdown. The two face off and when Miller draws Gibson throws acid in his face causing him to die while melting. This disturbing image causes the locals to second guess their choice to be protected by such an unconventional cop. The next day comes and we see Mel watering down his weapon, following the advice of the mayor. It doesn't take long for the next bad guy to arrive and get this watered down mixture thrown in his face as well, only it's so watered down it does nothing. This is when Mel's wife steps in and drenches the baddy with a bucket full of the good stuff which ends up saving the day.
Living Colour then took to the stage to perform Cult Of Personality.
Once again, Dennis Miller gave us the news. This week, Al Franken dropped in for a segment that "wasn't planned" to announce that he left his wallet in a cab earlier in the day and wants any fans of the show to mail it in if they happen to find it. The Pathological Liar also stopped by to share where he's been and claims to have been spending time at the White House hanging out with the president and oddly enough he also claimed to have been hanging out with Donald Trump when not interacting with the ruler of the free world. After this, Franken returned to let us know that his wallet was actually in his other jacket before Dennis Miller signed off by reminding us to set our clocks back for Daylight Savings Day.
Mel Gibson: Dream Gynecologist was another sketch that pretty much just plays into Mel Gibson's ego where he plays a Gynecologist who women can't wait to see because he's so hot and nothing to do with his skills. At one point, Mel introduces Jon Lovitz who he hired to help with the high demand but not a single woman opted to take advantage convenience being offered to them because he is too ugly.
Danny Glover then dropped by to join Mel Gibson for a parody of Lethal Weapon VI where Mel Gibson has gotten to the point that he's now threatening suicide over even the slightest of disagreements. The two have a run in with Scarface who also has a suicidal side and the two have a stand-off over who is more committed to self-termination threatening themselves over anyone else.
As World Turn then returned for another installment of the soap opera parody starring Tonto, Tarzan, and Frankenstein in tonight's episode we meet Frankenstein's mustache-wearing evil twin after the three stars of the show failed to make a deal with the Japanese to start selling them bread. This evil twin is played by Mel Gibson and is there to take Frankenstein's place for some good old fashion embezzlement.
Living Colour then returned to the stage to perform Open Letter To A Landlord.
Tonto, Tarzan, Frankenstein and Evil Twin Frankenstein then got together to sing Peter Cotton Tale as a Belated Easter Greetings.
Finally, Mel Gibson closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.
Saturday Night Live, SNL, Mel Gibson, Challenge, My Saturday Night Life, 9/20/2017
SNL: S14E17... HOST: DOLLY PARTON... DATE: APRIL 15, 1989
This week's show started with a sketch about the Exxon Cleanup where Jon Lovitz and Ben Stiller are so down with the cause that they are actually cleaning individual rocks along with a group of other volunteers. Phil Hartman plays the supervisor of this rock cleaning effort and has to answer a bunch of dumb questions about the simple task. After a while, Hartman notices that someone has tracked new oil into the freshly cleaned area that they've been working. The culprit ended up being the captain of the Exxon Valdez who is drinking while helping out. He quickly admitted his guilt before announcing, "Live from New York..."
Dolly Parton then officially opened the show with a monolog that's all over the place where she first jokes about bussing in fans from Dollywood to get a positive response then goes on to joke about her super tight wardrobe that looks like a peacock in honor of NBC. She then goes into a bit where she is intentionally rambling while the camera zooms in on her boobs followed by a shot where a cameraman is hung from the roof to get a bird's eye view down her cleavage, all the while Dolly has moved on to rambling about how artistic the camera crew is.
The Lothar Of The Hill People sketch then made its debut where Mike Myers plays the titular hill person who advises the borderline primitive people that make up his clan. In this week's installment, they mainly talk about relationship issues using modern logic while speaking with medieval terms.
Dolly Parton then switched to musical guest mode and took to the stage to perform Why'd You Come In Here Lookin' Like That?
Dolly and the cast then sat around the main stage almost as if they were having a slumber party with everyone focused on our host as she prepares to tell some Mountain Stories of her youth. She then goes on to tell her hillbilly upbringing where they didn't have indoor plumbing or electricity. She starts to tell a tale that her mother used to share only the cast quickly catches on that she's actually talking about My Three Sons, Dragnet, and other TV shows from when she was a child that her mother passed off as personal experiences. As soon as Dolly left, the cast went on to discuss what they just experience, sad that she missed out on so much TV only to be fed the same stories as a lie. There is a brief moment where someone suggests they she may have been better off because she got to use her imagination to experience the same tales. It doesn't take long for the group to then come to the conclusion that they were way better off experience TV fiction first hand.
Once again, Dennis Miller gave us the news. This week, Dolly Parton dropped in to discuss a tabloid story that said she was dealing with deep depression. When Miller asks if this is true she simply says yes with a smile which for some reason got a big laugh from the crowd which was apparently the response she was going for. Jean Dixon also stopped by for more prediction where once again she makes obvious guesses based on what is already going on like how the latest oil spill will affect the fishing industry and that the same thing will happen again if there happens to be another accident but will not to commit to if or when any of her prediction will come true.
Planet Of The Enormous Hooters was your typical Amazonian tale that takes place on a planet ruled by women. On this planet, Dolly plays the native with the smallest breast and gets banished to Earth where the leaders think she will be ignored for being such an underdeveloped girl.
Sprockets then made its premiere with Mike Myers as the quirky German host named Dieter who interviews guests about comedy while sticking to a dry German delivery. In this installment, Dieter interviews Ben Stiller as Eddie Munster about his childhood career because The Munsters just hit the air in Germany and is a major success. This introduction to the sketch also includes Dieter offering his guest the opportunity to "touch his monkey" and sets up the traditional end to the sketch where it became "The time on Sprockets where they dance."
The Rusty Bone was a sketch that took place at a bar where the men and women all have tails as if they were cats and dogs. The tales react to the otherwise typical bar conversations, wagging when excited, steady and down when sad. There wasn't much this sketch, just a simple set-up to build the world followed by a boner joke caused by a female with a poodle tail entering the bar which causes the males' tails to stiffen as they stand to get a better. The big punchline is that Kevin Nealon's tail is burnt by a candle as it goes erect which causes him to yelp in pain.
Celebrity Restaurant also returned for another installment that takes place in the same set as The Rusty Bone sketch that just aired. This week, it's more of the same with nobodies at the waiting while b-level names have to justify their celebrity status in order to get into the main room.
Dolly Parton then switched back to musical guest mode and returned to the stage to perform White Limozeen.
Broadway Story, Part 2 was a follow-up to the Broadway Stories short film that aired back when Mary Tyler Moore was the host. In this installment, we see more of the black and white tale that goes behind the scenes of a Broadway play where most of the comedy stems from the horrible film stock and terrible audio making fun of the era where movies first started to implement sound but still didn't know how to use it.
We then went to Smilers which was a downtown Manhattan drug store filled with grumpy New Yorkers and Dolly Parton as her bubbly southern self who has just been hired as the newest cashier who lives up to the store's name by using her charm to cheer up everybody in line so that they not only leave with their purchase in hand but also with a smile on their face. The sketch then ended with an update showing that this was the start of a rebirth of New York where everyone started to work together with an effort to spread the joy.
10 Beatles Classics You Kind Of Know The Words To was a fake ad for an album for a singing group sings Beatles tunes the best that they can while only knowing the chorus and mumbling through the rest of the words in between.
Finally, Dolly Parton closed the show by thanking the audience and saying her goodnights.
Saturday Night Live, SNL, Dolly Parton, Challenge, My Saturday Night Life, 9/21/2017
SNL: S14E18... HOST: GEENA DAVIS... DATE: APRIL 22, 1989
This week's show started with A Special Message From The President Of The United States with Dana Carvey as George Bush Sr. who is sharing his accomplishments during his first hundred days in charge. He has to twist the examples in order to make them seem positive while quickly moving past issues that he is still struggling with. Then out of nowhere, while continuing his presidential brag he blurts out the announcement of, "Live from New York..."
Geena Davis then officially opened the show with a monolog about how excited she is to host the show because it allowed her to do something new as opposed to movie acting. She then goes on to explain that she was tempted to carry out this "try new things" theme and use the monolog as an excuse to try playing the saxophone for the first time but then realized how that would be a bad idea. Her second idea was to sing and being that people have heard her belt out a tune or two in the past the new aspect of her attempt was to sing a French style song with an accent which wasn't silly like I expected but was actually pretty good.
We then got a fake ad for the fiction upcoming show called The Bob Waltman Special where this Bob Waltman person, whoever he is, interviews celebrities about the toughest struggles of their lives/careers mainly dealing with the death of people or pet who were special. This is another case where I can see what the show is going for but the fact that I don't know the show/person being parodied, I didn't find it to be as funny as the audience obviously did.
Frost White And The Seven L'il Men was apparently a Snow White parody but I couldn't find it anywhere on the internet.
The parody show Attitudes then returned for another installment with Jan Hooks and Nora Dunn playing a pair of hosts who passively fight for control with smiles plastered on their faces. They interview Geena Davis who plays an adorable but boring vintage shopkeeper who explains her average boring day while the hosts tried to make it seem interesting. Just like the Bob Waltman sketch, I think this is a parody of an actual show that I'm not aware of so I didn't get the subtle references that got the audience to laugh.
John Mellencamp then took to the stage to perform Pop Singer.
The Palmer Bunch was a parody of the Brady Bunch only instead of following the merged Brady family we followed Robert Palmer who's raising all of the girls from his music video who all look the same except for Alice who has the look but dresses like a maid. In the sketch, Geena Davis played one of the girls who wants to be an individual only to only to end up in shock therapy which causes her to give in to being the same.
Once again, Dennis Miller gave us the news. This week, Mike Myers and Ben Stiller dropped in as a pair of movie critics who are there to talk about Rain Man. Unlike Siskel and Ebert who are well prepared these two come across as idiot friends talking about the movie right after they just watched it before their opinion is clear. Also, unlike most movie critic teams who often disagree the two keep their eyes on each other's mouths and talk slowly so that when they talk at the same time they struggle to say the same thing.
We then met with a group out walking in the wood when Geena Davis finds a cave that is filled with Suspended Animation Chambers filled with people who appear to be in space suits who are supposed to sleep until 2089. Even though there are signs everywhere to just let the chambers be, this group of do-gooders thinks they need to step in and help completely ruining the plan.
John Mellencamp then returned to the stage to perform Jackie Brown.
Game Show Models was the second sketch of the night that I couldn't find anywhere on the internet.
After The Apocalypse was as the title suggests, a sketch that took place the day after an accidental WWIII leaving Jon Lovitz and Geena Davis as the only survivors. Though they are literally the only two people left in the world they still act like they're just neighbors living like strangers in New York. Jon Lovitz eventually attempts to ask Geena Davis out but even with him being the last person on the planet she finds him too ugly to date and comes up with lame excuses to get out of it and eventually gives into a lunch date at some later unagreed upon time.
Finally, Geena Davis closed the show by thanking the audience and saying her goodnights.
Saturday Night Live, SNL, Geena Davis, Challenge, My Saturday Night Life, 9/22/2017
SNL: S14E19... HOST: WAYNE GRETZKY... DATE: MAY 13, 1989
This week's show started with Carter In Panama where the US ex-president played by Dana Carvey, made a visit to one of the Central American polling locations to make sure their election process is on the up and up. Right away he discovers that not only are their armed soldiers in charge but the ballot box drops the citizen's votes straight into a fire a fuel to cook their chicken. When Jimmy Carter points out that he's on to their corrupt scheme, the soldiers aren't even phased and quickly start to make fun of the ex-president's failures before bullying him like they were back in elementary school. As the bullying gets more physical and Dana is swapped out for a dummy, they start to throw Jimmy around leading to the random announcement of, "Live from New York..."
Wayne Gretzky then officially opened the show with a monolog about how he's not much of a performer and is proud of it, openly admitting that he only got booked because of his hockey skills. He then goes on to joke that it didn't take until the night before to finally figure this out.
We then got a repeat of the Sleepytime Rat Control ad from earlier in the season which is a fake commercial for rat sleeping pills for those who take issue with killing pests.
Fishing With The Anal-Retentive Sportsman was the second installment with Phil Hartman's Anal-Retentive character. During this visit, the OCD sportsman is fishing with The Great One and gets too caught up in keeping clean and organize while sharing his techniques to ever cast off and actually fish. Meanwhile, Gretzky catches a monster of a fish that's even bigger than the boat but again, Hartman is too involved in explaining the order of his efforts to help get this beast in the boat that he never actually helps, causing Gretzky to be pulled into the ocean.
Wayne's World then returned for another installment with the two basement dwelling broadcasters. This week, they introduce their new camera person and other new members of the crew that never step out from behind the scenes but give examples of their technical skill in what would be the production booth. Wayne Gretzky then dropped in as himself and Wayne's World Wayne shares his dream of taking on guest Wayne at hockey where somehow he and Garth managed to pull off the win.
This Week With David Brinkley was a parody of the real show with the same name. This is a roundtable political talk show where the first topic of debate is whether or not they should take the show outside to get some fresh air instead of being stuck in a stuffy studio. While outside they move on to talk about the recent Panamanian election and how there's a double standard as to when the US decides to step in on other election. The conversation doesn't get too far as everyone is too distracted by the outdoor obstacles that keep interrupting the show.
Fine Young Cannibals then took to the stage to perform She Drives Me Crazy.
Once again, Dennis Miller gave us the news. This week, Dennis Miller was haunted by a Field OF Dreams voice that led him to build a diorama of a baseball field that seemed to go nowhere from there. That is until Al Franken dropped in for his new segment called Al Franken's new ideas where he claims to not see the tiny ballpark that's right in front of him. Franken then went on to discuss some of his new political ideas where he wants to hurl terminally ill patients who want to die with dignity out into space in order to save money on NASA experiments solving two of his biggest concerns. Finally, the field of dream reference pays off with a visit from a fictional character from the original first SNL cast whose segment got cut and was never aired making this his moment to shine but then the two just walk out into a cornfield that's been set up next to the news set to complete the parody rather than provide a funny payoff.
Wayne Gretzky then sat on the stage to introduce the next sketch, setting up how hard it was to get used to playing in LA after only playing in Canada. We then went to the locker room following a Kings loss to hear a bunch of Celebrity Hockey Ideas as a stream of stars try to cheer up the legend even though nobody has any idea what they're talking about.
Victoria Jackson then hosted a call-in show called Point Blank with Gretzky as he guest to help answer the audiences' questions with every suggestion being hockey based no matter what the question is.
Fine Young Cannibals then returned to the stage to perform Good Thing.
Waikiki Hockey was the classic sketch with Wayne Gretzky in a parody of an Elvis movie where he played a busboy with a hockey stick shaped piece of driftwood who turns out to be a natural player who humiliates the team of rich resort kids. He also wins over the top jerk's girl while the two are water skiing. If that isn't enough Gretzky also takes over as the entertainment with a song and dance at the resort's big luau.
Finally, Wayne Gretzky closed the show by thanking the audience and saying his goodnights.
Saturday Night Live, SNL, Wayne Gretzky, Challenge, My Saturday Night Life, 9/23/2017
SNL: S14E20... HOST: STEVE MARTIN... DATE: MAY 20, 1989
This week's show started with A Message From The President Of The United States Dana as Bush shares a few details on China and the progress to win them over. He then goes on to update America about his dogs before giving more lame examples about how the world is doing better now that he's the president ending of course with the announcement of, "Live from New York..."
Steve Martin then officially opened the show by sharing the sketch Dancing In The Dark from 1978 which features him and Gilda Radner dancing around the studio looking serious at times and sill at other as they go from set to set. This turned out to be a touching moment being that Gilda had recently passed away.
Pumping Up With Hans And Franz then returned for another installment of more of the same while still being pretty funny. This week, the two muscle-bound brothers brag about their size and strength introduce Steve Martin who they have taken from a scrawny man to being a freak with muscles that are so big that he can barely even move.
We then got a fake ad for the album Tammy Wynette Sings The Classics with Jon Hooks as Tammy who sings Stand By Your Man to the tune of various classic tunes.
Toonces, The Cat Who Could Drive A Car then made his first appearance on the show and like the title implies, the sketch is about a cat who can drive a car only to end up driving off of a cliff making his owners realize that it was a bad idea to let him try in the first place.
Ode To A Loved One was a segment with Steve Martin talking to the audience about the woman he loves as he shares a poem/ode that gets more and more bizarre as it progresses to a disappointing finish where he admits that he's mainly in love because he doesn't want to lose half of his stuff which must have been a weird joke through the eyes of his actual wife.
Tom Petty And The Heartbreakers then took to the stage to perform Running Down A Dream.
Once again, Dennis Miller gave us the news. This week, A. Whitney Brown dropped in for yet another Big Picture segment which is a dig at the graduating class of 1989 for being idiots the same way that modern adults bitch about millennials and the same way their grandparents talked about them.
The New Coneheads was a sketch that just like New Coke, left a bad taste in my mouth because I was such a fan of these characters with the original cast. Luckily, this sketch was just a joke promotion for next season with Lorne Michael explaining that he wanted to reboot these characters to tackle more serious issues in order to broaden the show's appeal to a bigger audience.
Get To Know Me! was a sketch with Jon Lovitz out on a date with the "hottest girl in the world." Though they are out at a restaurant this is more of an advertisement than a dating sketch with Lovitz claiming that you can be a success as well by simply doing as the title says and get to know him, guaranteeing your career will advance.
Tom Petty And The Heartbreakers then returned to the stage to perform Free Fallin'.
Sprockets then returned for another segment, this week Dieter's monkey is more on display as once again he interviews his guests in his strange German ways. Though the show is supposed to be about comedy nothing is all that funny and nobody laughs or smiles.
Steve Martin then took to the stage to perform a routine called Steve's Good And Bad Sides where he reveals that he has a scale of attractiveness going from good to bad depending on the angle of the camera, then goes on to share these angles comparing each look to a famous person named Mel and their level of success in the business.
We then got a news segment from the Smokers Cable Network which is a network devoted to smokers with nothing but cigarette based content.
Tonto Tarzan and Frankenstein then took to the stage for Have A Bitchin' Summer where the three sing Seal It With A Kiss to celebrate the upcoming summer break.