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The Emotional Toll Of Ovarian Cancer Treatment That You Should Really Know About
It will be a roller coaster, but you don't have to ride it alone
By Emma Pritchard
When faced with ovarian cancer treatment, chances are a number of thoughts will cross your mind.
"Will I have to have chemo?" "How will they operate?" "What impact will this have on my fertility?"
But, in addition to these practical questions, what about those that are more personal?
"What have I done to deserve this?" "Will I lose my hair?" "Am I going to die?"
Being diagnosed with ovarian cancer can be a confusing time with ovarian cancer treatment taking its toll not only physically – in terms of chemo and surgery – but mentally, too. And it's this latter impact that is often overlooked.
According to 2015 research from Public Health England, for example, a fifth of women who receive a diagnosis did not receive information or advice about their ovarian cancer treatment – despite more than half reporting symptoms of anxiety or depression. With around 7,000 women diagnosed with the condition every year, that's a worryingly high statistic.
"Ovarian cancer is a hideous disease," says Tracie Miles, a gynaecology oncology specialist nurse and also an advisor for The Eve Appeal 'Ask Eve' service. "It can cause a woman to feel fear, guilt and loss, among many other emotions. A lot of advances have been made in ovarian cancer treatment but, when it comes to post-treatment support, there is a resource issue."
Which is where family, friends and colleagues can really come in.
But where do you start when it comes to supporting someone you know who has been diagnosed with ovarian cancer or completed ovarian cancer treatment?
Read here for more on the ovarian cancer signs to watch out for.
"When you're first told you have ovarian cancer, you go into action mode," says Emily Dearman who was diagnosed at the age of 27. "What will make me better? What do I need to do now? You slip into managing the situation and are focused on getting it sorted. But when you've had your ovarian cancer treatment and you're no longer actively doing something, it's harder. The following check-ups can feel like a waiting game of when / if the cancer will come back."
The ovarian cancer treatment journey is an emotional whirlwind that can last around eight months. And it's one that can be an isolating experience or, as Miles, puts it, a "lonely landscape". "Like standing on an empty, cold-looking beach," she says.
For Dearman, who had to have three months off work as part of her ovarian cancer treatment recovery, it was friends and family who got her through.
"My partner was a rock and throughout the whole time off work, my friends visited me at home loads," she says. "They'd bring dinner and magazines and we'd just catch up. Because you're not involved in everyday life in the same way, you do feel distanced."
Read: More about Dearman's experience plus how five other women felt following their ovarian cancer diagnosis.
TALK ABOUT THE OBVIOUS
Don't want to mention the "C" word in case it causes upset? Think again. "Don't not talk about what your friend or family member is going through," says Miles. After all there will be issues that they need to work through – hair loss, surgical menopause, the impact ovarian cancer treatment has had on their fertility (and the sense of loss or guilt associated with that). "Talk about it and find out how they want to deal with it."
"When I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, it forced my partner and me to have a lot of conversations up front about children – at a point when that wasn't something we'd been thinking about yet," says Dearman. "But fertility is an issue when it comes to ovarian cancer treatment that can't be ignored."
Hospital appointment after hospital appointment. Surgery. Chemo. The emotional highs and lows. Those eight months of ovarian cancer treatment are going to be exhausting. So, offer to help with the everyday – washing, shopping, cooking. And keep offering. And if you're going through ovarian cancer treatment but no one's offering, ask. "Ask for help and keep asking. You're still going to be tired," Miles says. Even after the treatment course is finished.
JOIN FORCES
"Instead of finding things for your friend or family member to do on their own to help them through ovarian cancer treatment, find things that you can do together," says Miles. "They want the company of a friend, not the memory of a cancer. Perhaps there's a fitness class you could sign up for or make-up sessions that advise on how to cope with post-menopausal skin dryness, or post-chemo hair regrowth."
BE THERE BEYOND
The support needed for ovarian cancer doesn't stop at the end of ovarian cancer treatment. It can be in those months – and years – following treatment when the worry of uncertainty can creep in. "There is nothing that we can do to improve our risk of not getting ovarian cancer," says Miles. "Which is why ovarian cancer is so awful. Knowing that doesn't stop the big question: 'What have I done to cause this?' Remember that your friend's fear of a recurrence will likely rise ahead of each check-up appointment. Note those dates and offer to go along for support." You might even offer to help practice the consultation – ten minutes is limited so work out how your friend will talk through her worries in that time. If their still worried? "The nurse specialist can be contacted whenever she needs them – even in-between appointments," says Miles. "There's also the 'Ask Eve' support service and our sister charity Ovacome has a Buddy service."
For more information about ovarian cancer treatment, visit The Eve Appeal and Ovacome.
Going through ovarian cancer treatment and worried you might be experiencing depression – or concerned about someone you know? Read our guide on how to deal with depression and for coping with depression.
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