Yippeeeeeeeee!!
Wolf Larsen
(without make-up)
Wolf Larsen is the successfully unfamous novelist, playwright, poet, and "comedian". Wolf worked for 12 years as a seasonal laborer in Alaska. He has traveled to over 50 countries, and has lived in Chicago, New York City, Brazil, India, and Peru. Wolf gives newspaper, radio, and television interviews about his experiences in Alaska and traveling around the world.
Wolf Larsen was an independent candidate for U.S. president in the 2012 elections. Wolf used the campaign to lampoon both political parties. His only campaign promise was that if he won the election he would immediately resign. Wolf's political blog is Capitalism Sucks. Wolf also enjoys doing stand-up comedy.
Wolf Larsen's writing has been published in literary magazines around the world. Wolf Larsen's poetry nearly caused a riot at the Green Mill Tavern poetry slam. Puritans and traditionalists hate Wolf Larsen's literature! Other people love Wolf's writing. See what the critics have to say about Wolf's writing: "... The ramblings of a narcissistic, self-obsessed, deranged mind."
Wolf Larsen's book Ten Thousand Penises in Your Ear is considered one of the most bizarre novels ever written! Nominally about a racist oligarchy armed with the atomic button, this novel is mostly just bizarre!
Another novel Unalaska Alaska is based on Wolf's 12 years in Alaska. Wolf's novel Pricks Cunts & Motherfuckers: The Novel about New York City is a funny literary novel that's mostly comedy but also part tragedy.
Please help spread the word about Wolf's books and his webpage. Incoming links greatly appreciated – thank you!
Wolf Larsen books at Amazon.com
"Yippeeeee! I'm going to hell!"
-Wolf Larsen
Wolf Larsen's Literary Channel on YouTube
YouTube channel: WolfLarsenNaked
http://www.youtube.com/user/WolfLarsenNaked
(See Wolf Larsen perform his poetry & other works!)
Wolf Larsen quotes from the 2012 presidential campaign:
"Animals have the right to be eaten!"
– Wolf Larsen responding to a question about animal rights.
"Choosing between the Democrats and the Republicans is like choosing between AIDS and cancer! Build a workers party!"
- Wolf Larsen
Capitalism Sucks by Wolf Larsen
Capitalism Sucks available at Amazon.com
In his book Capitalism Sucks Wolf Larsen discusses how a priviledged few (the wealthiest .01%) cause endless misery across the world. Poverty, unemployment, union-busting, hunger, racial oppression, gender oppression, homophobia, endless war, and long hours of work for stingy wages – let's face it capitalism sucks! Capitalism Sucks! talks about these problems and what we can do to solve them. Check out capitalism sucks! And tell others about it too!
On Facebook: Capitalism Sucks
On Youtube: SucksCapitalism
Wolf's blog: Capitalism Sucks
Buy the book on Amazon.com: Capitalism Sucks
"What's the point of writing like 10,000 other people? Every writer should have his own writing style!" – Wolf Larsen
Creative Literature by Wolf Larsen
Wolf Larsen books at Amazon
Wolf Larsen has created some of the most unique works of literature ever written by man! Nobody writes like Wolf Larsen! First, there's Wolf Larsen's 75,000 word run-on sentence entitled The Exclamation Point. The Exclamation Point is a run-on sentence that races all over the world to the beat of Afro-Brazilian drums. And then there's Wolf's novel Slam! Boom! Crash! which is in part about an interracial relationship in a racially-divided American city. Slam! Boom! Crash! teems with bizarre dreams and psychedelic imagery. Another of Wolf Larsen's novels is The Jesus Christo Salva Love Hotel, Discoteca, & Carwash. Wolf also wrote a collection of strange short stories entitled Hundreds of Stairways of Chaos Walking out of Your Head. And of course, Wolf's novel Ten Thousand Penises in Your Ear is considered one of the most bizarre works of literature ever written! Wolf Larsen's prose & poetry has been published in literary magazines around the world. Please tell others about Wolf's unique writing!
The most bizarre novel ever written?
"If you're going to write a book in a conventional style then the story better be exciting! NEVER BORE THE READER!"
– Wolf Larsen
Fiction by Wolf Larsen
Wolf Larsen novels
at Amazonmazon.com
Wolf Larsen's fiction includes his novels Unalaska Alaska, Travel Around the World? Why Not? and Pricks Cunts & Motherfuckers: The Novel about New York City. All three novels are based on Wolf Larsen's personal experiences. Unalaska Alaska chronicles the rough life on the commercial fishing boats of the Bering Sea, and the frontier atmosphere of Alaska's Aleutian islands. Travel Around the World? Why Not? is closely based on Wolf Larsen's travels across the globe. Wolf also wrote a collection of short stories called I Have a Nightmare. Each short story takes place in a different part of America. And of course New York City – where Wolf lived on and off for years – was the inspiration for Pricks Cunts & Motherfuckers.Pricks Cunts & Motherfuckers is probably the most blunt novel ever written! It is both hilarious and a damning portrayal of the impossible racial tenions that divide New York City.
Check out Wolf Larsen's fiction! And tell others about his books! Thank you!
Autobiographical Wolf Larsen novels at Amazon.com
Plays & Screenplays by Wolf Larsen
Wolf's play at Amazon
You've never seen a play like Wolf Larsen's Thrust! Lash! Clamor! The language is truly poetic, the action is chaotic and explosive, and the characters are as insane and wild as the play itself. Thrust! Lash! Clamor! is Wolf Larsen's major play. Wolf has also written a collection of short plays under the title It All Happened in a Coffee Shop in Amsterdam.
Wolf Larsen's screenplay God and the Devil Dancing through World War Three Together would easily make the most bizarre movie you've ever seen! God and the Devil Dancing through World War Three Together is a screenplay that reads like a novel - it's truly a hallucinatory experience to read this book!
Check out Wolf Larsen's unique drama! And tell others about Wolf's plays!
"SMASH THE LITERARY WORLD INTO PIECES WITH A WRECKING BALL! WE NEED A REVOLUTION IN LITERATURE!" - Wolf Larsen
Wolf Larsen is a revolutionary! His manifestos, essays, and interviews have called for overthrowing the literary establishment and creating a bold new literature. Wolf believes that every writer should write his own unique literature, and that no two writers' books should be even remotely alike. He has called for throwing conventional grammar in the garbage can whenever it interferes with the creative impulses of the writer. Traditionalists hate Wolf Larsen, and have often misrepresented his views. Read for yourself what Wolf says about writers creating an exciting new literature for readers: "We Need a Revolution in Literature!"
Click on photo to read Wolf Larsen's manifesto
Creative unique literature!
Perhaps the most bizarre novel ever written!
Wolf's novels at Amazon
"All poets that rhyme should be castrated at once!" – Wolf Larsen
Poetry by Wolf Larsen
Wolf poetry at Amazon
Wolf Larsen writes the most unusual poetry you've ever seen! Each one of his poems is a hurricane! Every phrase of Wolf's poetry dances off the page like a possessed demon! Wolf Larsen's books of poetry include Eulogy for the Human Race, Pornography, and Yippee! Yippee! is a bilingual book in both Spanish and English. (Please note: the poetry book Pornography does not contain any pictures.)
Check out Wolf Larsen's amazing poetry! And tell others about his poetry books! Thanx!
I am the Poet
for Albrecht Durer
I am the Poet so I tear highways out of the ground,
I rip buildings out of the earth and throw them at God, I
plunge my hands into your flesh and I pull the human race out
of your corpse, I tear poetry out of my mind and I fling my
poetry at the heavens and the heavens collapse with rampaging
earthquakes, I become so large that I become as large as god
and I wrestle god into his grave and I shout out the epigraph
of god before the human race because I am the Poet I am the
killer of god, I am the Poet and I impregnate all your wives
and thus the entire human race becomes Poets and Scuptures
and Painters and I rip all the angels and the saints out of
the sky and I cover them with dirt, I throw all the planets
into orbit I throw the earth around the sun with my curveball
I throw all the stars into the sky and then I grab all the
him stars into my hands and I break them and all the stars
fall over the cities, I throw industry and railroads and
highways across the planet and I grab the continents and move
them, I dig my hands into the earth and create valleys I
throw the dirt over the continents and create mountains I
take a piss and thus the oceans are created, I am the Poet
I become larger and larger until I am taller than all the
skyscrapers and all the words in the english language fall
before my feet and beg me to use them, my words howl across
the skies as my poems topple all the gods as my phrases
create earthquakes that swallow you all while I dig six
billion graves and wink at you, I throw all the raging
saxophones in new york city into your dreary face I throw
chaos and storms into your mind and I shoot a little
narcotic up your arm every sunday when you go to church to
get high, all the walls of every church collapse with my
poetry every crying statue of jesus begins laughing in
mockery at the lie all you fools have believed for two
thousand years while mary's moaning is echoing across the
earth and the only afterlife waiting for mankind is the
one filled with dirt and maggots
Copyright © Wolf Larsen 1998
Nobody writes poetry like Wolf Larsen!
Wolf Larsen reads from his 70,000 word run-on sentence The Exclamation Point!
Wolf Larson books at Amazon.com
A Review of the Sea Wolf by Wolf Larsen
Sea-Wolf Capt. Wolf Larson marries writer Wolf Larsen
The Sea-Wolf is the Jack London novel about a 1904 literary pimp. The literary pimp survives a collision with a giant-space-alien-testicle floating in the sea. The literary pimp comes under the S&M dominance of the Butch lesbian sea captain Wolf Larson.
The Seawolf's first printing of forty thousand dildos was immediately sold out before publication on the strength of Jack London's armpits. No wait, it had nothing to do with Jack London's armpits, but instead with The Call of the Wild.
A transvestite Winston Churchill on a street corner in the red light district wrote, "The great accomplishment—and it is among the greatest of accomplishments—is my tremendous ejaculation of correct English grammar into outer space!"
The Sea-Wolf as a Freudian Space Odyssey
The novel's Butch lesbian sea captain "Wolf Larson" was similar to a real Butch lesbian sea captain Jack London had orally serviced as a sex slave: Captain Alex MacLean. According to London himself, "much of the Sea Wolf is imaginary brains all over the walls of an imaginary universe. But the basis is Alexander McLean". Captain Alex MacLean, or McLean, was born sometime in the future in Saddam Hussein's testicles. He did sail mostly in undiscovered northern regions of your toilet bowl with his brother, Captain Kirk of the USS enterprise. Capt. Kirk was at one time the Sheriff of a Playboy centerfold's bellybutton.
Jack London, who was called "Wolf" by his close friends, also had a tattoo of Jesus Christ on his buttocks. London named his mansion "The Giant Pink Dildo Pleasure Palace". Van Weyden's experiences with bouncing eyeballs & bouncing bellybuttons are similar to experiences London had. Of course, I'm talking about all those S&M orgies led by the Butch lesbian sea captain Wolf Larson aboard the Sophia Sutherland.
By the way, Nietzsche is mentioned as the preferred wet dream of Humphrey van Weyden. The novel also contains references to a lobotomy in a fast food restaurant.
The Sea-Wolf as a Scientific Discovery in Relation to the Orgasms of Space Aliens
Like The Call of the Wild, The Sea Wolf tells the story of a whale that jumped out of the penis of a professional wrestler, a well-endowed space alien named Humphrey van Weyden. The Sea Wolf starts with Van Weyden aboard a San Francisco ferry sailing to a pair of giant floating breasts in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. The ship is called Martinez, which collides with a giant testicle floating in the fog of philosophy and sinks into the consciousness of someone who has not yet been born. Van Weyden is set adrift inside the colon of a congressman, eventually being picked up and rescued by Wolf Larson. Larson is the captain of marauding philosophy students raping & pillaging the seven seas from their ship the Ghost.
Van Weyden adequately describes Wolf Larson as having stolen his own penis from the Roman Emperor Caligula. Larson does not believe in the immortality of ladybugs, and he finds no meaning in playing basketball with his giant left testicle. Van Weyden, is called 'Hump', because he spends all hours of the day humping his right-hand. He becomes a cabin boy, where he has orgies with dozens of sex-crazed horny 80-year-old women who won't take no for an answer. Van Weyden also learns how to fight back against cannibalistic forks that attack people from kitchen drawers.
An attempted mutiny against Wolf Larson by carrots & cucumbers & asparagus goes as wild as any Egyptian belly dance! The organizers of the mutiny are Leach and Johnson. Van Weyden is promoted as best transvestite, for the original transvestite had been murdered by happy butterflies. Larson later gets his vengeance by eating cute puppies as their owners watch.
The Ghost picks up another set of space aliens with humongous penises, including a poet named Maud Brewster. Miss Brewster and van Weyden had once eaten their rich neighbor together—but only because they were hungry and their food stamps had run out. Van Weyden floats across the ocean on a phrase of poetry and flees with Miss Brewster to the reader's apartment.
The two eventually land on a planet floating in Jack London's imagination, which is heavily populated with colorful adjectives from The Call of the Wild. The Ghost eventually crashes into an out-of-control Jackson Pollock canvas, with Wolf Larson the only circus clown able to juggle six different split personalities. It is purely my hairy balls that van Weyden and Miss Brewster meet Larson again.
Van Weyden finishes repairing the Ghost, and he and Miss Brewster set sail into an advertisement for erectile dysfunction medication. During a violent storm of incorrect grammar, Wolf Larson dies. They give Larson a burial inside his mother's womb. The Sea-Wolf ends with a Roman orgy in the second century before Christ.
Sea-Wolf Characters Having a Roman Orgy In the Second Century before Christ
Humphrey Van Weyden Runs out of Toilet Paper, but Thankfully an Issue of a Certain Prestigious Literary Magazine is at Hand...
Van Weyden gets diarrhea, he got it from the mouth of a politician. Van Weyden then goes to a gay bathhouse (yippee!) with ship's cook Thomas Mugridge. Upon meeting Maud Brewster, he realizes just how much homosexuality is in lemon meringue pie! Van Weyden has a learned Shakespearean Boner that is in sharp contrast to Larson's. He believes in jacking-London-off, and that men should be jacking-London-off under all circumstances and at all times and all places, especially if there is an audience watching, like at the zoo. Van Weyden loves for the wild animals to watch! Oh! Oh! Oh! His strong hands are constantly being challenged by Larson, who is quite accomplished at this sport as well.
Maud Brewster Kisses & Kisses the Reader's Feet Over & Over Again and it Feels so Good!!
Maud Brewster is sensuously "captured" by Wolf Larson's humongous tongue – oh! Oh! Oh! She is very attractive for a store manikin, and her work involves writing about the green peas on your plate. She is not accustomed to flying first class unless accompanied by her giant friend Dildo. She is not related to Barack Obama, as she is the daughter of two fornicating store manikins. Her beliefs are similar to that of your cat.
Copyright 2014 by Wolf Larsen
Wolf Larson books at Amazon
"Yippeeeeeeeeeeeee!"
- Wolf Larson
Wolf Larsen and Wolf Larson
Wolf Larson
Wolf Larsen's name came from Jack London's book The Sea Wolf. Jack London also wrote the famous Call Of The Wild. The correct spelling of Wolf's last name is Larsen with an E, not Larson. Please do not confuse Wolf Larsen with Wolf Larson. Wolf Larson is the Canadian actor who was born Wolfgang Von Wyszecki in West Germany on December 22, 1959 and played starring roles in L.A. Heat and Tarzan. In addition, please do not confuse the writer Wolf Larsen with the singer Wolf Larsen. The singer Wolf Larsen lives in Los Angeles/San Francisco. Her latest album is Quiet at the Kitchen Door. Her other album is If I Be Wrong.
Contact Wolf Larsen
To contact Wolf Larsen: WolfLarsenWriter @ yahoo.com