Abusers may monitor your phone, TAP HERE to more safely and securely browse DomesticShelters.org with a password protected app.
1. Select a discrete app icon.
Next step: Custom Icon Title
2. Change the title (optional).
Building App
After Abuse
Childhood Domestic Violence
DomesticShelters.org Book Club
Ending Domestic Violence
Escaping Violence
Heroes Fighting Domestic Violence
Identifying Abuse
Men as Survivors
Protecting Personal Affects
Workplace and Employment
When Domestic Abuse Happens in a Poly...
This Is Why I Didn't Tell You He Was ...
When Survivors Believe They're Respon...
National/Global Groups
Online Forums/Chats
Provincial Groups (Canada)
State Coalitions (U.S.)
Build Custom Reports
State & Province Summaries
Cash Donations
Friends and Family Fundraiser
Shelter Wishlists
24 ⁄ 7 Hotline
Search Shelters
Start your search here for domestic violence programs and shelters near you.
Home Articles Safety Planning Can a Personal Alarm Protect You?
Can a Personal Alarm Protect You?
Maybe, and there's more you can do to help keep yourself safe
By Stephanie Thurrott
1.1k have read
If you're living through domestic violence or recently escaped an abuser, you might consider a personal alarm. These small alarms can attach to your keychain, purse or backpack and when their panic button is activated, they emit a loud, constant alarm, generally 120 to 130 decibels. The noise is intended to alert people nearby to your need for help.
Receive new and helpful articles weekly. Sign up here.
Along with survivors, others who might find personal alarms helpful include stalking victims, children (who may walk to and from school on their own), college students, seniors, security workers, hikers or night shift workers, for example.
There are plenty of personal alarms on the market with features like these:
Built-in flashlights, $9.74
Stylish designs, $14.99
Multi-packs you can share with friends, nine for $29.99
Lipstick designs that camouflage their real function, $9.99
Teddy bears for children, $6.99
And with prices starting at just $2.50, cost shouldn't be a barrier for owning one. But do they work?
"They are just one tool in a toolbox," says Sarah Jones, a former agent with the Army's Criminal Investigations Division. Jones spent a large part of her military career dealing with sexual assault and abuse cases. She's also a survivor of sexual trauma and domestic abuse.
Jones says the problem with personal alarms is that they largely depend on bystanders for help. And people don't always help, often because they assume someone else will step in.
"I don't want women to have a false sense of security when it comes to feeling as though people around them are going to naturally intervene," she says.
Ask People to Be Accountable
Alarms can be useful if people nearby feel accountable. Jones recommends survivors inform neighbors that they have an alarm. "Say, 'I've got this device and if you hear it go off, I'm in grave danger. Call 911 and if you can, try to intervene.' That makes people much more likely to follow through for you."
Curious if it's safe to get involved as a bystander? Read "5 Ways to Intervene When You Suspect Domestic Violence" for more information.
Jones says survivors can also use the alarm in a crowded place. In that scenario, she suggests looking someone in the eye and saying, "Help me" so there's no confusion that the alarm is malfunctioning on accident.
Another positive of personal alarms: They might briefly confuse an abuser, buying a survivor some time to run, prepare to fight or seek help. On the other hand, she says that setting off the alarm may enrage your abuser: "They could overpower you, take the alarm and be even more angry."
Staying safe requires a multifaceted approach, Jones says. If you choose to carry a personal alarm, she recommends these additional tips for staying safe:
Have a Primary, Alternate, Contingency, and Emergency (PACE) Plan. Jones gives the example of grocery shopping with her four kids: "It's a chaotic nightmare. There are all of these distractions and I'm experiencing cognitive overload." Still, she's prepared to keep herself and her children safe in a threat or emergency.
Primary plan: leave the way they came in
Secondary plan: leave through an employee exit in the back of the store
Contingency plan: find a back office where they can hide
Emergency plan: use her firearm, which she concedes won't work for everyone. Most people might look for another place to hide instead.
Take a Self-Defense Class. You'll learn to protect yourself and know what your limitations are. "More often than not, women in these classes find they are stronger than they thought. It reassures them that they can put up a fight, or at least stall the attack," she says.
Jones recommends jujitsu, and suggests taking a class at least once a week. She points out that many places offer kids' classes—having your kids take a class when you do can solve child-care issues.
Connect with Your Friends and Family Members."The trademark of abusers is to isolate the victim. The more you can engage with friends, family members, and neighbors, the better," Jones says. "It might be embarrassing but if they have even a basic understanding of what's going on, they can watch out for you."
Let a friend or family member track your location on your phone and tell them where you're going, so they can check in with you if you don't make it there in a certain amount of time.
Practice Situational Awareness. "A lot of women multitask to an extreme level. We're focused on so many things that we fail to notice whatever is out of place around us. It's about taking the time to think, 'This looks out of place. Why does it look out of place?' and assessing whether it's something of concern or not," she says.
If you're being followed, drive to a crowded area or a police or fire station before calling for help, or exiting your vehicle if it's safe.
It is easy to ignore this message. Please don't. We and the millions of people who use this non-profit website to prevent and escape domestic violence rely on your donations. A gift of $5 helps 25 people, $20 helps 100 people and $100 helps 500 people. Please help keep this valuable resource online.
Think Like an Abuser. "You're going to know more about how they think than anyone. You're the subject of the harassment and intimidation," she says. "Understand where they're likely to show up and what they're likely to do when they show up. You can plan around that to the best of your ability."
Make Your Home Safer. Consider an affordable home security system and use a Ring doorbell to monitor your entrance. If that's too costly, you can buy inexpensive fake cameras that are good deterrents, Jones says. Keep the outside of your property well-lit, and consider getting a dog.
"Safety is not a passive thing, it's an active thing. You can't focus on safety part of the time and expect to be safe," Jones says. "But it's empowering. It's about making yourself more secure and rebuilding your confidence after it's been taken away from you."
Will My Partner Be Violent After I Leave?
Survivors Wanted to Test New App
Spotting the Enemy
Steps to Safety After a PPO
Fleeing An Abuser With Your Children
Find a safe place near you
When Domestic Abuse Happens in a Polygamous Relationship
Ask Amanda: Uneasy About Going to Shelter
How Domestic Violence Hotlines Triage Callers
3 Ways to Become Mentally Stronger in 2020
Domestic Violence and Gaps in Federal Gun Law
Follow @domesticshelters
If you would like to speak with an advocate near you for support or about any domestic violence matter, just enter your location information below and a list of nearby support phone numbers will appear.
About Domestic Shelters
We make finding the right shelter and information about domestic violence easier. Instead of searching the Internet, it is all right here. We've painstakingly verified information on shelters in LA to shelters in NY, and every domestic violence program in between. If you or a friend is suffering from physical abuse, emotional abuse, psychological abuse or verbal abuse, this free service can help. Select domestic violence programs based on location, service and language needs. Find 24-hour hotlines in your area, service listings, and helpful articles on domestic violence statistics, signs and cycles of abuse, housing services, emergency services, legal and financial services, support groups for women, children and families, and more.
Domestic Violence FAQs
How to Get a Personal Protection Order
Domestic Violence Statistics
Profile of an Abuser
This Is What Abuse Looks Like
Abusive Red Flags Everyone Should Know
A Deadly Cycle
When It's Time to Go: Part I
Have more questions? Visit our FAQ.
Add/Claim Location
Copyright © 2020 Theresa's Fund, Inc., an Arizona 501(c)3. All rights reserved