HomeThe Election As Covered by Our Analyst Who Just Took a Hit of LSD
The Election As Covered by Our Analyst Who Just Took a Hit of LSD
December 5, 2012 December 12, 2016 pittifulnews Uncategorized
As we wrap up another grueling campaign in the American presidential system, it is important to note the shakeup of the partisan landscape. Democrats are pushing for greater enthusiasm atop a strong showing in the national polls. Republicans are looking to re-strategize and re-emphasize in accordance to rise of new factions and my teeth are getting itchy. Very, very itchy. It's like I just ate pet dander.
The Electoral College provided hope for some, frustration for others. A collection of spirited supporters and diligent dissenters rallied around respective candidates looking and. Ugh. The lights are bright in here. They make my feet feel squishy. Squishy feet. Why are my feet so squishy? I think we're starting to kick in, here.
Mitt Romney. Barack Obama. It's down to these two guys…
The first one has a name that sounds like gloves but they aren't. Well, the rest isn't. And the second one has the same name twice but spelled differently. It sounds the same. It's like the "ah" part shows up twice and your tongue feels like a boat or something. You know? Where it gets really big and it's like the salt? You know? The salt? No. You don't. You don't even know.
But the election was all about jobs. The kinds where it's like you go walk and there's that guy that's all buttons. Not made of buttons but his thing has them. Shit. What is that thing? The clothe. The clothe? Shit. That's not right. Oh, yeah. The clothes. But anyway. His buttons. And your buttons. No. No. No. All buttons.
The Electoral College went all up. Good grades and shit. Mom? No, she doesn't care. I just want to know where the damn pizza rolls are. There's so many pepperonis. Like, you don't even know.
He was all, "I win!" or something. There was the guy with the smell but he didn't get to see it because the cars weren't around or something. He did well, I guess. But overall, the rest says that Obama is still him.
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Sorry, I thought my computer was dragon and I threw it across the room. It's still the same only the keyboard is upside down. I'm upside down too so I think that should help. Where we were? Oh, yeah. The government. It's all about the economy and "tried to run, tried to hide, break on through to the other side", man. The Doors. Ah, I love this song! I love The Doors. Jim Morrison, Ray Manzarek, front, glass, wooden. So many doors. Not enough windows. You know? The it's might door. Doors too.
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