Ghosts Of Girlfriends Past Mark Waters
By Robert Bell
What might be marginally more interesting than actually watching the latest McConaughey train wreck would be figuring out just how exactly the mainstream studio romantic comedy became a hyper-realized forum for crass human caricatures to learn valuable life lessons from a well timed, idealistic speech. Are we really supposed to believe that a monosyllabic man-whore would suddenly change his psychotic, yet functional, tune because a ghost pointed out that sometimes girls cry after you manipulate their emotions for sex? On the other hand, maybe the point here is that it would take actual magic for most people to develop genuine discernment and compassion —touché, Mr. Waters. Either way, the gist of this particular foray into formula romance is that Connor Mead (Matthew McConaughey), a slutty photographer, doesn't believe in love, thereby threatening the nuptials of his blasé brother, Paul (Breckin Meyer), and his spastic wife, Sandra (Lacey Chabert). He gives villainous speeches, insulting the sanctity of marriage, ruins the wedding cake and hits on the bride's maids, who apparently don't consider bedding McConaughey something akin to bestiality. Grounding Connor and giving the film some impetus is Jenny Perotti (Jennifer Garner), the ex-girlfriend that got away. When the Christmas Carol element comes into play — having ghosts show the playboy his past, present and future — we see their perfunctory romance come full-circle. Perhaps the most amusing thing about Ghosts of Girlfriends Past is that our protagonist is often visibly stoned, which is likely the Surfer Dude's idea of subtext, given the ghosts and whatnot. It actually gives some credulity to many of the decisions his character makes, such as randomly grabbing Anne Archer's boobs and trying to hold up a wedding cake with a champagne bottle. Maybe the film is pure genius after all. No special features are included with the DVD. (Alliance)
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