Pathetic Conservative Hasn't Even Been Banned From Twitter Yet
MOBILE, AL—Pathetic, fake, wannabe conservative man Bill Shaw hasn't even been banned from Twitter yet, sources close to the right-leaning man confirmed Monday.
Fellow conservatives quickly called Shaw's loyalty to the cause into question after discovering he hasn't so much as received a warning from Twitter for his tweets so far.
"I just don't know what I'm doing wrong," he said, shaking his head. "I've tried misgendering people, deadnaming people, retweeting Ben Shapiro—but nothing is working." Shaw states he posts using a slew of conservative hashtags but so far has been unable to draw the ire of Twitter or any other social network.
"He's probably a closet liberal," said one of his conservative friends. "I myself was banned from Twitter a year ago, proving my conservatism is real, unlike Bill's."
In a last-ditch effort to be accepted among his peers, Shaw posted a picture of himself in a MAGA hat, but it went completely ignored by Twitter's censors, cementing his status as a sorry excuse for a conservative.
Global Warming Pinned On Kid Who Keeps Leaving The Front Door Wide Open While The Heater Is On
Recently Pardoned Turkey Found Dead After Claiming To Have Dirt On Hillary Clinton
An Exclusive Look At The New Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Comic Book
Survey: Nation's Calvinists Strongly Support War With Armenia
Socialist Leaders Clarify: 'We Only Want Socialism For Everyone Else'
Ruth Bader Ginsburg Quietly Replaced With Cardboard Cutout
Controversial Video Shows Trump And Melania Brandishing Guns As Reporters Near White House
Joel Osteen Offers To Warm Country Up With Nearly Inexhaustible Supply Of Hot Air