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5 Women Confess the Conflicts That Fitness Has Caused in Their Relationships
"A relationship is all about compromise, even if that compromise involves fitness."
By Jen Glantz
Relationships are all about balance, but that doesn't mean you have to practice tree pose together, right? If one of you is a fitness buff, hitting the gym and running marathons, and the other is more into thumbing through shows on the DVR, you can still be happy in the most important couples activity of all (sex). However, sometimes it is hard to not judge the one you love when they're couch surfing while you're Soul Cycling, and that can cause some major conflicts.
Take a look at what these six women say about being on totally different fitness levels than their significant others.
Alyssa Zolna
"I prefer boot camp workouts and kickboxing. I usually take anywhere between three to four of those kinds of classes a week. I love when the instructor is yelling at us and getting in our face. I also love classes with loud blaring music that makes you feel like you're at a club. My boyfriend and I used to fight about this all the time, because on weekends we'd spend time apart for a huge chunk of the day doing our own workouts. He won't take any of those classes with me and sometimes I think it would be easier if I was dating someone who would. We've made an agreement that we will find a workout we both like. So right now, we are taking Piloxing, which is a Pilates and kickboxing combo."—Michelle J., 31
"Ironman was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. I trained for about nine months for each race. When it was over, I immediately signed up to do my third. My husband is a great cheerleader for these races. He doesn't like to run, bike, or swim. The only exercise he gets daily is walking from the subway back to our apartment, which is only six blocks. At first, this tore apart our relationship. I was spending more hours of the day and the weekend with my trainer, who is a male, and quite attractive. Nothing happened, but the fact that I was far from home started to tear apart my marriage. It would be so much easier if my husband trained too, but in order to save our marriage, he has started to come to some of the trainings and has been more active in my preparation process. It's better than having him just at the finish line."—Jessica W., 29
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"My boyfriend is Tough Mudder obsessed. He likes the dirt and doing obstacle courses that usually leave him with a lot of bruises. If and when I make myself work out, I like to just take a walk outside. He usually practices a few times a month for these races and it's not something I would ever even consider doing. We have a judgment-free rule which means I can't roll my eyes when he is talking about his dirt-filled workouts and he can't make me feel bad about not working out like him. If one of us slips up, they go on trash duty for the next week."—Hilary H., 28
"We met at the gym, since I had hired him to be my personal trainer. When things got serious between us and we became official, I quit the gym and working out, permanently. He still is a personal trainer and has about 25 clients. He doesn't force me to work out with him or try to push me to train at a new gym, which is really good. But he does beg me to work out at least three times a week. Our main fights, at first, were about this. He wanted me to be healthy and stay healthy, even if that means not going to the gym. One time we broke up about this for two months. When we got back together, I promised him that I would work out twice a week, whether it was going for a walk or a bike ride. But the workout would be on my own terms; I would be my own personal trainer." —Marissa K., 32
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"I do workout videos off YouTube a few times a week. Some are dance videos and some are videos that I need five-pound weights to lift while following their workout. Either way, I don't like going to the gym. I like the privacy of my own home. My boyfriend owns a gym. He's been working out at a gym since he was 13, and he spends more time there than he does at home. When I started to feel like he was putting the gym before our relationship, I started agreeing to take one to two workout classes at his gym a week. That way I would be able to see him and cheer him on for all the hard work he puts into that place. A relationship is all about compromise, even if that compromise involves fitness."—Genna K., 34
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