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"I'm a blunt instrument, and I'm damn good at it." Mary Poppins Returns, Bumblebee, and Aquaman
For the past few years now, Disney and Lucasfilm have had a lock on the holiday blockbuster season with a little, revived franchise named Star Wars. Alas, the wheels fell of that wagon when the underrated, under-performing origin story Solo debuted in theatres this May with a thud, and there was no end-of-year galactic adventure to follow.
Into this December's "let's thumb our noses at Oscar bait" box office breach rushed Warner Brothers'/DC's Aquaman, Paramount's Transformers prequel Bumblebee, and Disney's own Mary Poppins Returns. By some strange twist of fate, the fish king roundly beat the giant robot and the buttoned-up British nanny in ticket sales in their collective first weekend of release.
I am certain that all of these popcorn epics will clean up, though, in the gray and dreary vacation days following Christmas, as they each bring a great deal of heart, just enough ingenuity, and a comforting if lightly derivative familiarity.
[Image Source: Wikipedia]
"Still. Today or never. That's my motto." – Mary Poppins (Emily Blunt) in Mary Poppins Returns
Mary Poppins Returns is, yes, practically perfect. Predictable and formulaic? Mayhaps. But it doesn't matter. You'll laugh and cry, occasionally scratch your head … at times all three simultaneously. You'll love it nonetheless … in great part due to Emily Blunt's bonkers, measured, heartfelt commitment to the title role.
Not dissimilar to Disney's decades-later reboot Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Mary Poppins Returns feels like a subtle remix on the original film's greatest hits.
The screenplay by David Magee dutifully follows the same story beats as Julie Andrews' flick – for example:
a crabby dad (little Michael Banks, portrayed poignantly by Ben Whishaw, all grown-up and repeating the sins of his father, but in a mopey/angsty widower way);
a politically woke sister (Emily Mortimer's Jane Banks, the sunniest class warrior you'll ever see, taking the place of Glynis Johns' suffragette Mrs. Banks);
some lost soul children who need to rediscover the joys of imagination;
a no-good banker (Colin Firth, all sleazy charm as nothing says holiday kids movie like the threat of foreclosure!);
a winking-wise lamplighter instead of a chimney sweep (Lin-Manuel Miranda being slightly less insufferable and overeager than usual … and, yes, he raps, sort of … once);
and a finale that swaps out balloons for kites, and throws in Angela Lansbury for good measure … in case you'd forgotten about Mary Poppins' knock-off Bedknobs and Broomsticks.
The score by Marc Shaiman (Hairspray) is perfectly fine, but follows a similar path as the script, presenting new numbers that evoke the overly familiar tunes of yore and serving similar narrative purposes. "Spoonful of Sugar" becomes "Can You Imagine That?" to get the ornery kids to embrace bathtime. "A Cover is Not the Book" (the best number in the new film) is an animated fantasia a la "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious." "Trip a Little Light Fantastic" is an ode to the unappreciated lamplighters (who even do some BMX- style bicycle tricks?!?), not unlike "Step in Time." And so on.
Rob Marshall's direction (Into the Woods, Nine, Chicago) is effective, if workmanlike, evoking the past film through iconography, color palette, choreography, and overall composition. Mary Poppins Returns doesn't wow as much as it sedates the viewer, and the film never quite escapes the physical confines of the sound-stages upon which it was obviously filmed.
In the end, though, this is Blunt's show, and she is an absolute pip. I could watch her read the phone book as Mary Poppins, with a knowing glance here, an arched eyebrow there, and a master plan to make all of us decent again. And that is why we all need a movie (and a damn nanny) like Mary Poppins Returns.
"The darkest nights produce the brightest stars." – Memo (Jorge Lendeborg, Jr.) in Bumblebee
If you'd told me the tone-deaf, garish, migraine-inducing, jingoistic Transformers film franchise would eventually yield one of the sweetest, warmest, funniest, family-friendliest "girl-and-her-[robot]-dog" coming-of-age yarns since, say, the Paddington movies, I'd have sold you my vintage Hasbro figures for $1. But here we are. Bumblebee, the sixth (!) installment in this series, jettisons director Michael Bay (praise be!), adds nuanced and charming leading lady Hailee Steinfeld, and delivers a lovely cinematic homage to simpler sci-fi allegories of the Spielbergian 80s.
Travis Knight, Oscar-nominated director of Kubo and the Two Strings, picks up the reins from Bay, working from an almost pastoral (!) script by Christina Hodson that wisely puts human/robot emotion and familial interaction before special effects and mind-numbing battle sequences (although there are still about two or three too many of those).
Borrowing liberally from producer Steven Spielberg's own E.T. (and at this point, that's just fine), the plot relates Autobot warrior Bumblebee's arrival on earth, circa 1987. Within moments, the big, yellow, bug-eyed 'bot finds himself used and abused by the American military (sparkling John Cena, wryly channeling every "shoot first, ask later" cinematic armed forces cliche). Bumblebee is eventually, inadvertently rescued from a junkyard by a plucky, sweet teenage girl Charlie Watson (Steinfeld) looking to rediscover the love of her deceased father at the bottom of a bin of used auto parts. Unsung Pamela Adlon is harried brilliance as Charlie's befuddled and exasperated mother Sally.
Steinfeld is still coasting a bit on her stellar Edge of Seventeen performance as a misunderstood adolescent with a dazzling heart of gold buried under a sullen, surly, glowering pout. I guess this is her niche, for now, and it works to great effect in Bumblebee as well.
Two broken souls – in this case pubescent and robotic – heal one another by giving voice to the underdog and by waving a Breakfast Club fist in the face of institutional repression. I dug it. And the exquisitely curated soundtrack of late FM 80s hits adds an unexpected and refreshing layer of musical-comedy-esque commentary to a movie about giant robots taking over our planet.
"I'm a blunt instrument and I'm damn good at it." Arthur Curry (Jason Momoa) in Aquaman
I enjoyed Aquaman a lot, but could have used about 30 minutes less of blurry aquatic battles and about ten minutes more of authentic wit. Nonetheless, this is a visually stunning film that never takes itself too seriously and with the wisdom to assemble a world-class cast. Throw The Once and Future King, Black Panther, Tron, Flash Gordon, Jewel of the Nile, Krull, Thor, Big Trouble in Little China, Hamlet, and Lord of the Rings into a Mad Libs blender and you yield this wonderfully loony pic.
Momoa is nothing but utterly charming in interviews. A great actor? Meh. But a star? Absolutely. That said, he looks great, but I couldn't help feeling like some of his best lines likely landed on the cutting room floor to make way for more CGI soldiers riding giant seahorses. That's a shame. The best parts of this film are the human parts. Nicole Kidman deserves a medal for making the Splash-meets-Terminator opening sequence of her Atlantean queen meeting cute with a Maine lighthouse keeper (Temuera Morrison), playing house, and popping out a half-breed sea-prince baby not only palatable, but poignant and downright thrilling.
Taken at a superficial level, the plot is almost identical to Black Panther's. Two beefy men square off to rule a hidden, technologically advanced kingdom with the "bad guy" claiming his rule will right the wrongs of the outside world (in Black Panther, it was racial divide, and, in Aquaman it is pollution and global warming). Black Panther has more nuance in its conflict and thereby the stakes are higher.
Aquaman telegraphs its punches, so it is quite obvious from the minute Aquaman's/Arthur Curry's half-brother Orm (a dolphin-sleek Patrick Wilson) enters the screen that he is basically a nogoodnik, regardless his sweet speeches about keeping the seven seas free of man-made detritus. He'd like to buy the world a Coke, as long as you keep the plastic six-rings, than you very much. But, with Aquaman, the fun is in the journey, not necessarily the destination. And Wilson is terrific, by the way.
Director James Wan (Furious 7, Insidious) takes his sweet time getting us to Arthur's inevitable victory over and acceptance by both land and sea. The visuals are sumptuous, even if the running time is gluttonous. There are moments of true wonder – any time Momoa communes with the creatures of the deep, for instance – and, on the balance, the film is a joy for those who have hoped DC could really start having fun with their characters.
The pitch perfect Wonder Woman seems less like an anomaly now and more like the beginning of a new, humane, inclusive direction for DC's movies. I'll consider my 2.5 hours watching Aquaman an investment in that future.
So, in 2018, we traded one time-worn, bloated Star Wars entry for three heartfelt, loving, and, at times, inspiring homages to other past fantasy hits. I think that's a decent, if safely unimaginative, return.
Reel Roy Reviews is now TWO books! You can purchase your copies by clicking here (print and digital).
In addition to online ordering at Amazon or from the publisher Open Books, the first book is currently is being carried by Bookbound, Common Language Bookstore, and Crazy Wisdom Bookstore and Tea Room in Ann Arbor, Michigan and by Green Brain Comics in Dearborn, Michigan.
My mom Susie Duncan Sexton's Secrets of an Old Typewriter series is also available on Amazon and at Bookbound and Common Language.
Posted By: Roy Sexton (Reel Roy Reviews)	Category: (Dark) Slice-of-Life, Comic Books, Disney, Film Review, Must See	Tags: a cover is not the book, Angela Lansbury, aquaman, arthur curry, autobot, bedknobs and broomsticks, Ben Whishaw, Big Trouble in Little China, black panther, breakfast club, bumblebee, can you imagine that, chicago, christina hodson, colin firth, david magee, dc comics, disney, edge of seventeen, emily blunt, emily mortimer, flash gordon, force awakens, furious 7, glynis johns, hailee steinfeld, hairspray, hamlet, hasbro, I'm a blunt instrument and I'm damn good at it, insidious, into the woods, james wan, jane banks, jason momoa, Jewel of the Nile, john cena, Jorge Lendeborg jr, julie andrews, Krull, Kubo and the Two Strings, lin-manuel miranda, lord of the rings, mad libs, maine, Marc Shaiman, marvel, mary poppins, mary poppins returns, memo, michael banks, nicole kidman, nine, orm, paddington, patrick wilson, reel roy reviews, Review, rob marshall, roy sexton, splash, spoonful of sugar, star wars, step in time, Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, temuera morrison, terminator, The darkest nights produce the brightest stars, the once and future king, thor, Today or never That's my motto, transformers, trip a little light fantastic, tron
"It's called karma … and it's pronounced 'ha!'" Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again
Is it fashionable to hate Mamma Mia!, the international ABBA-stage musical sensation that was parlayed into the biggest box office film-musical of all time ten (!) years ago, starring Meryl Streep? Seems that way. Maybe it's misogyny or sour grapes or a general critical agnosticism toward anything big, silly, and fun. Maybe people don't want to admit how much they love infectious Swedish pop songs with nonsensical titles and lyrical metaphors that appear to have been crafted by a roomful of monkeys with typewriters.
Whatever. I liked it. Mostly.
Well, let me equivocate. I appreciated the gaga joy that the original film's cast seemed to be having – a group of award-winning pros (Streep, Christine Baranski, Julie Walters, Amanda Seyfried, Dominic Cooper, Colin Firth, Pierce Brosnan, Stellan Skarsgard) who didn't give a flying fig that they were working from a junk script with a cringe-worthy concept (who's your daddy?). These talented souls could read an appliance repair manual aloud and make it seem zippy. So what happens when you offer them some catchy-as-eff songs and throw them on a plastic back-lot set designed by Olive Garden with a sound-stage-blue sky that makes your heart ache? Cinematic genius.
Franchise newcomer (is this a franchise yet?) Ol Parker takes over direction from Phyllida Lloyd on the nobody-asked-for-it sequel Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again. He does some spectacular reverse engineering to give us an actual film that is just as loopy as before but, you know, gives us characters and motivation and something resembling a plot (sort of).
Since this second entry is basically a greatest hits of a greatest hits package, some songs from the prior film get repeated; some B-side deep cuts you never knew existed (nor wanted to) are employed; and, as a score, all of the numbers are more seamlessly integrated into the story line … which is basically TWO storylines.
First, Sophie (a luminous Seyfried) is (spoiler alert!) mourning the passing of her mother Donna (Streep, who adds to her odd gallery of beyond-the-grave "angel" characters here), and re-opens the picturesque Greek hotel as a tribute.
Second, in parallel, we learn through flashbacks how young Donna found her island retreat, slept with three different dudes in rapid succession (Jeremy Irvine, Hugh Skinner, Josh Dylan – all Abercrombie & Fitch adorable and completely disposably interchangeable), and subsequently declared, "To hell with all of ya!"
A crackerjack Lily James (Cinderella, Baby Driver) portrays young Donna. She effortlessly channels and brilliantly reinvents the madcap essence of Streep … despite the fact that the two don't look one whit alike. Lily is brilliant in the role – unapologetic and fiery. By far, the smartest thing the filmmakers did was casting her. She makes the film. Jessica Keenan Wynn and Alexa Davies are a hoot as her pals (the younger versions of Baranski and Walters, respectively), and the trio present a compelling and believable dynamic as pals making their way in a world and era (1979) where their free-spirited agency ain't exactly celebrated. (The more things change…)
In the present day, we also see the addition of a criminally underutilized Andy Garcia as the hotel's concierge/handyman ridiculously named, yes, Fernando. He seems to exist primarily as a narrative device for Cher who literally helicopters in for the last twenty minutes of the movie, phoning in an absolutely brilliant approximation of Cher at her Cher-iest, to croon one of ABBA's most beloved tunes.
For some illogical reason, Cher, who is only three years older than Streep, plays Streep's mother. She is about as believable (pun intended) playing Streep's mother as I would be. Hell, I'd be more believable. "Do you belieeeeeve, in life after love … love … love?" But who cares? In the Teflon-coated Mamma Mia universe, all things exist in servitude to hedonistic joy. And you don't get more hedonistic nor more joyous than Cher singing "Fernando," as exquisitely escapist as a big movie moment can be. I adored the sequence and hated myself for doing so the next day.
Check your brain at the door, drink in the images and sounds, and enjoy the best party of the summer with Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again. Yes, I laughed, I sang, I danced, I cried, and I'm not ashamed to admit that. Much.
Postcript …
There were four lines in the film that I jotted down as potential review titles. They are indicative of why this film is such simplistic, absurdist genius in our meme-happy culture. I chose one – spoken by Julie Walters (I think) – which seemed to perfectly reflect the position this sequel takes in relation to its most vocal critics: "It's called karma, and it's spelled 'ha'!" For the curious? The other three options were as follows: "Be still my beating vagina." "It's not easy being a mother. If it was, fathers would do it." AND "I judge a person's heart by the way they treat animals." Go see the film, have a ball, and tell me if I chose my title … poorly.
Reel Roy Reviews is now TWO books! You can purchase your copies by clicking here (print and digital). In addition to online ordering at Amazon or from the publisher Open Books, the first book is currently is being carried by Bookbound, Common Language Bookstore, and Crazy Wisdom Bookstore and Tea Room in Ann Arbor, Michigan and by Green Brain Comics in Dearborn, Michigan. My mom Susie Duncan Sexton's Secrets of an Old Typewriter series is also available on Amazon and at Bookbound and Common Language.
Posted By: Roy Sexton (Reel Roy Reviews)	Category: Film Review, Musical, Must See	Tags: abba, alexa davies, amanda seyfried, andy garcia, baby driver, be still my beating vagina, believe, cher, christine baranski, cinderella, colin firth, dominic cooper, donna, fernando, here we go again, hugh skinner, I judge a person's heart by the way they treat animals, it's called karma and it's pronounced ha, it's not easy being a mother if it was fathers would do it, jeremy irvine, jessica keenan wynn, josh dylan, julie walters, lily james, mamma mia, meryl streep, ol parker, Phyllida Lloyd, pierce brosnan, reel roy reviews, Review, roy sexton, sophie, stella skarsgard
"That's a very long paragraph." "It started four pages ago." Genius (2016)
Creativity is as delicate and fragile as a piece of spun glass. The very act of opening your soul and sharing your deepest expression with strangers is one of absolute bravery and complete foolhardiness. I don't know that I've ever seen a film that so astutely captures the death-defying nausea of creative expression as the movie Genius (now on DVD and streaming) does.
Taking its cue from the critically acclaimed autobiography Max Perkins: Editor of Genius by A. Scott Berg, the film (directed by Michael Grandage and written by John Logan) details the celebrated, though relatively unknown, editor's relationship with nascent author Thomas Wolfe, arguably most famous for the roman a clef Look Homeward, Angel. Perkins also worked with acclaimed authors F. Scott Fitzgerald (played by a soulful Guy Pearce) and Ernest Hemingway (a cheeky Dominic West), both of whom make appearances in the film as a sort of Ghosts of Christmas Past/Present finger-wagging Greek chorus.
You see, Wolfe, as deftly portrayed by Jude Law (suffering only for being a good foot shorter than the real Wolfe) had an outsized personality, as deep-feeling, purple, and egomaniacal as his prose. Law offers us a Wolfe as lovable as he is insufferable, a bounding puppy dog infatuated with his own observations and the thousands of scribbled pages he cranks out by hand.
Perkins, depicted by Colin Firth in one of his most nuanced and affecting performances to date, is the only editor willing to take a chance on this wild- haired North Carolinian Id. Working for Scribner and Sons, Perkins' job is to take self-indulgent clay and cajole it into popular art. Perkins' track record was without compare, including shepherding The Great Gatsby and A Farewell to Arms, among other classic works.
Firth gives us a peek into the kind of temperament willing to work within a mental health spectrum that might drive lesser humans to drink. The quiet, eccentric joy he gleans from coaching authors to find their voices in a way that connects with readers is subtle, gracious, and moving. (I suspect Firth could make a movie about stamp-collecting that would be transporting.) At one point, one of Perkins' daughters peering over her father's shoulders at Wolfe's manuscript queries, "That's a very long paragraph." He replies dryly, "It started four pages ago."
Law and Firth are aided and abetted by a supporting cast that includes Laura Linney and Nicole Kidman as their respective partners in life, both of whom have creative ambitions of their own, chiefly in the theater. What the film gives us in this quartet is a foursome at varying stages of acceptance and frustration that no art exists in a vacuum and that our success in life, reaching the broadest audience possible with our ideas, requires painful compromise and the occasional deal with the devil.
I suppose I am acutely sensitive to this fact because, as I get older, I watch my theater company evolve and grow and encompass new, younger talents, and I am potentially displaced. And, professionally, as I leave one job with a beloved set of colleagues this fall for a new opportunity, I am trying to adjust my own outsized personality to a new culture, seeking acceptance for the work I've done before and the work I have yet to accomplish. I believe this film will speak to anyone engaged in creative endeavors or working in corporate America or both. The question is whether you see yourself more as Wolfe, an extroverted sensualist seeking the approval of mankind for the emotions worn so proudly on one's sleeve? Or are you a Perkins, stifling your own creative ambitions, in servitude to inspiring the best in others, putting life on hold in the off-chance magic will occur through collaboration? I'm still working on that question for myself, but I'm grateful to this film for posing it.
Are you a writer or an editor? I guess that is for each of us to decide.
Posted By: Roy Sexton (Reel Roy Reviews)	Category: Americana, Biography, Must See	Tags: colin firth, dominic west, ernest hemingway, f scott fitzgerald, genius, great gatsby, guy pearce, john logan, jude law, laura linney, look homeward angel, maxwell perkins, michael grandage, nicole kidman, north carolina, reel roy reviews, roy sexton, thomas wolfe
Manners maketh man? Fifty Shades of Grey and Kingsman: The Secret Service (films)
I feel like I need to have my brain scrubbed with turpentine and disinfectant after the double feature we just endured: Fifty Shades of Grey and Kingsman: The Secret Service.
Were these movies bad? No, not at all. Did I enjoy myself? Yes, for great swaths of both flicks. Will I hate myself in the morning (and have some really loopy dreams)? Decidedly yes.
Both films are adapted from literary works … Albeit one is a soft-core porn trilogy written by Twlight-fanfic-aficionado E.L. James and is sold conveniently to S&M-curious grocery shoppers at Wal-Mart, Target, and Meijer. The other is a graphic graphic novel created by comic book iconoclasts Mark Millar (Kick-Ass) and Dave Gibbons (Watchmen) for whom bloody violence and gore is a balletic vehicle for cheeky satire and whose work is distributed via corner comic shops to superhero and gaming fetishists who greedily devour it from their befuddled family members' basements. (In full disclosure, save that basement reference, I fall firmly in the latter camp and never in the former, though I do shop at Target and Meijer a lot.)
As for the film adaptation of Fifty Shades, whose chief contribution to popular culture seems to be the mainstreaming of kink (provided you happily equate it with vampirism), I found that I really enjoyed all the narrative elements that had absolutely nothing to do with the core subject matter. When otherwise charming leads Jamie Dornan ("Christian Grey") and Dakota Johnson ("Anastasia Steele" – cripes, these names) do finally get to the "sexytime," a term I'm borrowing out of necessity from Sacha Baron Cohen's Borat, the movie grinds (no pun intended) to a halt. Johnson exhibits a delightfully natural comic timing which belies her status as Don Johnson and Melanie Griffith's progeny, let alone as Tippi Hedren's granddaughter, and Dornan does bemused hunky brooding better than anyone this side of the CW.
Their … ahem … courtship seems to be from a different movie entirely (thank heavens) than all the dirty business. I enjoyed their banter (underwritten though it is), and director Sam Taylor-Johnson has the good sense to cast as Christian and Anastasia's respective mothers Marcia Gay-Harden and Jennifer Ehle (both sleekly slumming here). It crosses my mind that someone should remake the feather-light froth of Barefoot in the Park or Any Wednesday and throw Dornan and Johnson in the roles; no whips, chains, bare ass-cracks, or nipples required.
Watching Fifty Shades (and, mind you, I didn't hate it), I kept wishing for the film to leave that stupid "red room of pain" and return to Anastasia's shabby chic college flat (oh, how I adore the darling roommate played by Eloise Mumford) or Christian's shimmering spaceship of an office, populated as it is by admins who wouldn't be out of place in Robert Palmer's "Addicted to Love" video. I truly enjoyed all the silly soap opera shenanigans around the stilted sex scenes.
Remember that certain musical production number of yore, the dull kind that went on forever and had Cyd Charisse entangling Gene Kelly in a thousand-mile-long chiffon scarf (which in itself is kinda kinky)? That's how I felt about all of Fifty Shades' tie me up, tie me down, Beauty-and-the-Beast boudoir moments.
It is a testament to Taylor-Johnson's direction that she is able to pull together some semblance of romance and charm and wit from what I've heard are shoddily written books. And, no, I am never going to read them! Bully for her.
Kingsman is by far the better film, chiefly because director Matthew Vaughn (X-Men: First Class, Kick-Ass, Stardust, Layer Cake – this last one starring "ultimate James Bond" Daniel Craig) wisely casts Colin Firth in the lead role, a role which cannily plays to and toys with Firth's persona as the consummate Brit gentleman. In prologue to one of Firth's many jaw-dropping, gymnastically-choreographed fight scenes, he intones "manners maketh man." Firth is clearly having the time of his life playing a Savile Row "dapper dan" tailor who happens to lead a double life as a Kingsman, a super-secret agent keeping Queen and Country (and pretty much all of us on this planet) safe from bomb-dropping megalomaniacs and local bar-brawling hooligans. He is a joy to watch.
Much of Vaughn's film is a pleasure, like Dr. Strangelove if directed by Quentin Tarantino on a bender from too many viewings of Moonraker, Octopussy, Smiley's People, and Austin Powers. Firth ("Harry Hart/Galahad") takes his orders from a wry Michael Caine ("Arthur") with tech guidance from the warmly imposing Mark Strong ("Merlin").
As Samuel L. Jackson's "Valentine" (an intentionally corny mashup of Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, Blofeld, and Dr. Evil) determines that the best way to cure global warming and other ills affecting this planet is to divest Earth of its "disease" (that would be us humans), Firth and his fellow Kingsmen race against the clock to expand their ranks with new recruits to foil Valentine's cartoonishly gruesome plan.
Taron Egerton (a British mix of James Cagney and Matt Damon) is a wonderful new cinematic presence as aspiring Kingsman "Eggsy," and his Eliza Doolittle/Henry Higgins scenes with Firth sparkle. Akin to Fifty Shades, I kept wanting the mayhem to stop so we could have more sprightly character development with this dynamic duo.
However, the violence – granted one of Vaughn's signatures (along with hyperkinetic fight scene editing) – is a bit of a boat anchor around the film's otherwise bright-hearted and buoyant spirit. There is just so much gore – body parts flying every which way, hyperbolic gun-play, medieval skewerings – that the satire becomes lost in the junior-high-boy juvenile excess and self-indulgence. I will admit, though, that the sight of Firth massacring a whole church full of hypocritical redneck bigots (an obvious stand-in for the hate-spewing Westboro Baptist Church and … others) is a guilty pleasure I shall carry in my heart for all time.
(Also – spoiler alert – no animals are ever hurt, though there is a peculiar test of the Kingsmen recruits that, well, tested my patience. Kind of an Old Yeller moment that ended up being a total ruse. People hurt? Lots. Animals hurt? None.)
I'm not sure I would go so far as to recommend either film, as I worry what you, dear readers, would think of me and of my mental stability if you ventured forth to see Fifty Shades or Kingsman based on my recommendation. However, if you feel like taking in a guilty pleasure (or two) suffused with a heaping helping of puerile foolishness, these films are for you. Yet, this evening's offerings definitively reminded me that just because something can be depicted on film doesn't mean it should be depicted on film. Manners maketh man, indeed.
Reel Roy Reviews 2
Reel Roy Reviews is now TWO books! You can purchase your copies by clicking here (print and digital)
Posted By: Roy Sexton (Reel Roy Reviews)	Category: (Dark) Slice-of-Life, Action, Film Review, Home Viewing, Thriller	Tags: addicted to love, anastasia steele, any wednesday, arthur, austin powers, barefoot in the park, bill gates, blofeld, borat, christian grey, colin firth, cw, cyd charisse, dakota johnson, daniel craig, dave gibbons, don johnson, dr. strangelove, e.l. james, eliza doolittle, eloise mumford, fifty shades, fifty shades of grey, fifty shades of grey review, fifty shades review, Film, films, galahad, gene kelly, harry hart, henry higgins, james bond, james cagney, jennifer ehle, kick-ass, kingsman, kingsman review, Layer Cake, manners maketh man, marcia gay harden, mark millar, mark zuckerberg, matt damon, matthew vaughn, meijer, melanie griffith, merlin, moonraker, movie, Movie review, movies, octopussy, old yeller, quentin tarantino, reel roy reviews, Review, robert palmer, roy sexton, S&M, sacha baron cohen, sam taylor-johnson, samuel l jackson, smiley's people, stardust, target, taron egerton, tippi hedren, twilight, walmart, watchmen, x-men: first class
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