The Hard Stuff: "I saw my friend's son sobbing."
By Karen Karbo
Recently I noticed that the son of a friend of mine is having a hard time at school. (He's in kindergarten.) I'm active in the school, and when I was there one day, I saw him sobbing on the playground -- and no one came over to help him. Should I say something to my friend or keep it to myself? I know that all kids have bad days. The other thing is, not long ago this friend told me that her son was having a hard time at home, and she was glad that it didn't seem to be spilling over into his school life. What should I do?
-- J.S., 43, New York City
I think that your impulse not to flip open your cell and call her immediately was correct -- all kids do have bad days once in a while and there's no reason for you to sound the alarm just yet. The question is, does this happen frequently? Do keep an eye out. Since you're at the school often, try to observe your friend's son to see how he's doing. If you start to notice that he seems distraught and isolated as a matter of course, then you should absolutely tell your friend. Wouldn't you be grateful if someone you knew and trusted came to you when your own child was hurting?
Karen Karbo is the author of How to Hepburn: Lessons on Living from Kate the Great. Shes also a mom, a writing teacher, and a horse owner. Send your questions to her at: The Hard Stuff, REDBOOK, 300 W. 57th St., New York, NY 10019, or karenkarbo@redbookmag.com. Letters may be edited for clarity and length, and must include your initials, age, city, and state.
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