They Don't Want You to Know: The Key to Success in 2016
2016 resolution: Live like an internet self-help guru. Keep an inexhaustibly positive outlook on life, tongue-in-cheek platitudes and all.
To whom am I referring? Think of someone like Lil B, the alarmingly prolific rapper whose army of fans will leap to his (or his cat's) defense no matter how many uninitiated haters miss the joke and call his music sloppy. This is a man who will show up to a nationally televised interview wearing a blouse and sun hat. Why? Why… not? He doesn't take anything too seriously—his haters, his clothing, his music—but as a result he's built a loyal following who clamor for his every word. (Fun fact—Lil B once personally told me he loved me in a Twitter DM. That really happened.)
Similarly, there's Tai Lopez, the YouTube-famous, Lamborghini-driving bibliophile. How did Tai make all his money? Does he have any money? I'm still unsure. But when I look beyond the guy who peddles "67 Steps" to success and claims to read entire books in ten minutes, I see someone genuinely fired up about a life of self-improvement. Multiple Lamborghinis and Hollywood Hills mansion or not, that's something to aspire to.
Even the final meme of 2015 himself, DJ Khaled, is an unlikely source of inspiration. I'm skeptical that the keys to success could truly be something as simple as washing with exclusively Dove soap or adorning one's bed with seven pillows (minimum), but certainly there's nothing harmful about drawing inspiration from someone so unceasingly success-minded.
Both online and off, these people draw devoted followers. Their claims might be grandiose, but they come across as optimistic rather than narcissistic. Goofy, self-aware uber-positivity as a guiding philosophy—it won't be easy, but I think I've found a worthy goal for the year.