Home>Bipolar Doesn't Make Me Fragile & I Don't Need a "Trigger Warning"
Bipolar Doesn't Make Me Fragile & I Don't Need a "Trigger Warning"
By Andrea Paquette
Last Updated: 1 Sep 2021
Some think having bipolar means being unable to handle disturbing information. In my experience, bipolar can make us stronger and better prepared to face personal losses and tough topics.
Sensitive Material: Suicide
Bipolar Disorder, Bias, & Sensitivity
There is a divided opinion in society about the fragility of those of us who live with bipolar disorder and our ability to process and deal with information that may be deemed "triggering." I cannot count the number of times that I have encountered the words Trigger Warning atop an article or before a TV show when the content includes information about someone dying by suicide.
I understand that trigger warnings may be offered with good intentions, showing that the creators of such content care about the person who is reading or watching, but these alerts might also reveal an assumption that people—especially those with a mental health condition—cannot handle the harsher realities of this world in a psychologically healthy manner.
Trigger Warnings Are Not Always Helpful
Trigger warnings are often shared to give a "heads-up" about something others will read or watch, especially when they live with mood disorders, anxiety, depression, and other mental health difficulties. Even though this practice stems from having people's genuine interests at heart, the root of these warnings communicates that certain people cannot handle disturbing or difficult discussions.
By providing these types of warnings, people are denied their right to process and accept the harsher realities of what happens in the world.
Suicide just happens to be one of them.
Trigger Warnings Can Be Disempowering
Trigger warnings remove the truth that I am strong and stable in my mind.
They imply that I cannot process stories of suicide or extreme hardship. Yet I feel that because I have been in these types of tragic situations before, I am actually better equipped to deal with hard news and the plight of others.
Many of us have personally experienced a suicide attempt or know someone who has, and this does not mean that learning or hearing about such situations will cause us additional harm.
Dealing with a Friend's Death by Suicide
I recently lost a friend to suicide. She was an astounding individual who had a long career in nursing. She also embraced a leadership role in a peer support group for others who live with mental health conditions. She led the group for years and expressed multiple times how important the position was to her—how it contributed positively to her well-being.
Because it takes strength and courage to lead a peer support group, some speculated that perhaps her job as a nurse or her role as group facilitator was detrimental to her mental health and "drove" her to suicide.
In addition to these responsibilities, however, this person also experienced a recent loss of important relationships and faced a multitude of additional circumstances, one of which was living with bipolar disorder.
This tragic situation makes much more sense when we are presented with all the facts, including the difficult details.
Bipolar Disorder, Suicide, & Empathy
It may be hard to hear, but we deserve the truth. One of those truths is that there is a higher incidence of suicide among people with bipolar disorder than among those who don't. This is simply a fact. Denying this reality or attempting to shield someone from this information ultimately does more harm than good.
Some worry that hearing this statistic or learning about a person's passing will push others to do the same, yet this concern is questionable, even when the victims of suicide are close to our hearts.
There are always exceptions, as there are for any situation that may influence someone in a painful way. However, instead of dwelling in a negative mindset, I choose to focus on the fact that my friend was a strong and compassionate leader who helped many others overcome their challenges—and she did not succumb because of her good work. I believe the love and warmth of both her job and role as a peer support leader provided her even more strength over the years.
We will always have to face disturbing and difficult situations in life, and often in great detail, but, more often than not, we will respond by relating, expressing compassion, and demonstrating one of the most important qualities in the world—empathy.
Finding Strength in Tragedy & in Living with Bipolar
We all encounter challenging situations, horrible news, and hurtful interactions, but this does not necessarily mean that hearing about similar situations will cause someone to "lose it" or harm themselves in some way.
Personally, I feel that I have become stronger because of my own experiences with having bipolar disorder, and all the tragedy that came/comes with it.
I can handle catastrophe without having a trigger warning or someone giving me a heads-up that the information that I am about to take in is disturbing or difficult to process.
Mental Health Conditions Do Not Make Us Fragile
People with any mental health condition do not need be treated as if they are delicate, weak, or fragile. Doing so makes many feel "less than." Instead, we always welcome compassion and respect.
And, although some trigger warnings come from an authentic place of concern, we must question whether they are truly useful or are just reinforcing the idea that we "can't handle it."
How do you feel about trigger warnings? Do you appreciate being told in advance that something may set you off in a dangerous direction? Or do you feel quite the opposite?
I would appreciate hearing your thoughts on this topic, as mine provide only one perspective.
Originally posted August 12, 2021
resilience, stigma, suicide prevention, triggers
Andrea Paquette is the president and cofounder of the Stigma-Free Society, formerly the Bipolar Disorder Society of BC, and she is also known as the Bipolar Babe. A mental health speaker, published author, advocate, and—above all—a Stigma Stomper, Andrea won the 2019 President's Commendation Award from the Canadian Psychiatric Association. She created the Bipolar Babe Project in May 2009. Andrea has reached over thousands with her message of hope and resiliency in schools, workplaces, and throughout various community organizations and events. Her Bipolar Babe persona has reached great heights locally and internationally as she is a 2016 Bell Let's Talk Face for the Canadian Alliance on Mental Illness and Mental Health (CAMIMH). Andrea is the B.C. Provincial 2015 Courage to Come Back Recipient in the Mental Health category, the winner of Victoria's 2013 CFAX Mel Cooper Citizen of the Year Award and the 2013 Winner for Mental Health Mentorship given by the National Council for Behavioral Health, Washington, DC. Andrea has also received the prestigious Top 20 Under 40 Award for Vancouver Island's Business and Community Awards. Most recently, she has created Stigma-Free COVID-19 Youth Wellness Toolkits. She is grateful for having the opportunity to share her personal message that "No matter what our challenges, we can all live extraordinary lives." Feel free to visit her website: Bipolar Babe and connect with Andrea on Twitter @Bipolar__Babe and Instagram @bipolarbabe.
Heidi August 28, 2021 at 5:12 pm
Spoiler alert… I am really grateful for trigger warnings! My father committed suicide a few years ago. I was listening to a podcast "S-Town" not long after at a friend's recommendation. I'd asked my friend, does anything violent happen? (I don't like violence in general, don't watch cop shows, etc.) She paused and said, you just have to listen to it. The main subject, a real person, not fictionalized, commits suicide. It absolutely devastated me. My therapist said that several of her patients had had the same reaction to that podcast.
You are fortunate that you aren't impacted negatively by that stuff. Now I seek out ALL the trigger warnings, especially for movies. There's a great feature on the imdb.com website: the Parents Guide. It breaks things down into categories like, "violence and gore" "profanity" "sexual content" "particularly intense scenes" etc. It gives you a heads up if it's a spoiler. I've been saved from seeing "a closeup of a man shooting another man in the neck and blood spurting out." Ick, not for me. I've been able to avoid most movies with suicide in them. But not all. For me a trigger warning prepares me for something that might "sneak up on me." I watch some things after reading the warnings.
I hope you can have patience with trigger warnings, knowing that they save people like me from suffering. Like a friend jokingly said to me," You're a delicate little flower." It's true, at 60 I'm more sensitive than ever. Having PTSD from an abusive childhood doesn't help, either. Luckily I'm not compelled to do any self-harm, and it didn't bother me terribly much until my dad died.
Thanks for a thought-provoking article!
J August 27, 2021 at 8:59 pm
I have a few thoughts. In regards to warnings of content in the media for suicide I'm not sure if people with mental health diagnosis are being targeted. It may be just a practice of protection in a world that doesn't know how to deal with such a tough subject which only further stigmatizes it. Perhaps if it was talked about as an every day occurrence like the weather that may be scary while normalizing at the same time.
We need real healthy conversations delivered not by media with a flash of news preceded by all the awfulness they typically bring. There are many avenues to find real information that is helpful.
I agree as a person with bipolar I don't like to be treated as a fragile and I also like to be treated with respect and kindness. I appreciate it when I am asked "is this too much right now"? by those that love me and know me.
I am finding that on my journey and knowing my boundaries I can navigate my way through the worst activators and handle myself with care.
Erin August 19, 2021 at 11:19 pm
I appreciate what you're saying, but I think trigger warnings give people a choice about whether they want to deal with that kind of content at that point in time
NSN August 19, 2021 at 1:56 am
I think that trigger warnings aren't geared towards anyone with any mental illness, but are specifically directed towards those struggling with trauma.
People who've experienced rape, incest, child abuse, etc may not have recovered from what they went through. Reliving that experience through a book or tv show may induce a panic attack, dissociative episode, or induce bad thoughts. If trigger warnings can help prevent some of that suffering, I don't see the problem.
There's also something called "trigger stacking." Under normal circumstances, I might be able to handle a topic. But if there are other factors going on (stress, scary experience, feeling sick, not sleeping, being depressed) they can build on each other until it reaches a point where I probably can't relive that traumatic experience and stay safe. Trigger warnings would give me the chance to choose whether I'm up for handling this right now.
One problem with trigger warnings is that they can only cover very common traumas. I'm jealous because I have PTSD and feel like I could benefit from warnings, but even though my experience wasn't particularly unique, it's also never ever showed up as a trigger warning.
JF August 14, 2021 at 10:36 pm
I know of 3 males in one family (a father & his 2 sons) who all committed suicide (at different times, the oldest son being the latest). Weird thing is that all 3 worked in the mental health field. Something obviously triggered them, no one can really say for sure. It usually is a number of things that overwhelms one's ability to cope
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