C: "I'm trying to log in, but there's nothing here."
Me: "Nothing...... on the screen? The screen is black?"
C: "No, there's just a blue screen. I inserted my card in here and that thing went away."
Me: <refraining from saying, "oh... the thing!"> "There's nothing but a blue screen now?"
C: "Yep, blue screen, with this white thing in the middle (company logo background)."
Me: "That's all you've got there?"
C: "Yep, and it's just sitting here, not doing anything."
Me: "Hmmm..." as I ponder why his PC would pause or lock up before even asking for his password.
C: "I dunno why we have to use these stupid things - they never work right."
Me: "...so you've just got a blue screen, and a white square with a yellow swirly design?"
C: "Yeah, it says NetMeeting Remote Desktop Sharing."
Me: ".......what?? The (company logo background) says that??"
C: "No, that's what the little icon at the bottom says when I hold the mouse over it."
Me: <shaking head> "Icon? I thought there wasn't anything on the screen except the white square in the middle."
C: "Just this icon... and a couple of others at the bottom here."
Me: <mute the call, so as to not alarm the client with the dull thuds of my head repeatedly hitting the desk> "Would you please right-click on that icon, and select 'Activate Remote Desktop Sharing' please."
Me: <connect to his computer via NetMeeting> "Well, looks like there's a lot of icons here - My Documents, My Computer, My Network Places, the Recycle Bin..."
C: "Yeah, so how do I make this thing work??"
Me: "Well, first off, you get yourself some liquid paper, and white out all those pesky little icons on the screen there - you don't seem to realize that they're there in the first place, and when you finally do, I don't think you'll really know what to do with them anyway...."