In my late 30s, after being single for about 10 years, I was on a quest to find the love of my life. So, I went on a dating spree and tried every method I could think of to meet my mate. I participated in 2 telephone dating services, got set up on blind dates, went to singles dances, attended singles clubs and events, tried speed dating several times, and I even paid a relationship company to find me my life mate. It was not until the last year of my single life that I unlocked the key to my heart's desire by using the Law of Attraction diligently and met the love of my life, now my husband, James.
The Law of Attraction is a philosophy that states that like attracts like and we get what we focus on. But, many of us do not have a clear focus.
Key # 1: Be very clear about what you want.
This is one of the first steps in using the Law of Attraction effectively. Getting clear about the kind of person you want to attract is also what many relationship experts advise you to do. In Dr. Phil's book, "Love Smart" he speaks of the 80/20 rule; if you meet someone who has 80% of what you want, the other 20% can grow. He also recommends you get very clear on what your deal breakers are; those traits, qualities and characteristics that go against your core values, ideals and beliefs. So, I made a very clear list of what I was looking for in a man. I identified his physical, mental, emotional, financial, and educational features along with his interests, hobbies and social/recreational outlets. My deal breakers: no more addicted, abusive and financially unstable men.
Key # 2: Pay attention to your emotions.
If it doesn't feel good, get out! Law of Attraction guru, Esther Hicks aka Abraham Hicks tell us that emotions are the GPS for our lives. They are our guide to let us know when we are in aligned with who we truly are. When we are in alignment we feel happy, powerful, wise, peaceful, appreciative, loving and abundant. When I was dating, if I did not feel good around the person, did not feel good about myself when with them, after seeing them or when I thought of them, I moved along. This is about listening to your heart and not your head. And it is about trusting yourself.
Key # 3: Letting Go.
Clean your internal house. If you are carrying around thoughts and beliefs that are not serving your desire to have the life mate you want, then you won't meet them. For the longest time, I was holding on to the belief that I could not trust my choices because whenever I got into a relationship I turned into someone I did not like. Someone who was consistently angry, hurt and passive-aggressive. It did not help that I also believed I was not worthy of a loving, healthy partner. Based on my thinking, my pattern was to continue attracting poor quality men and to become what I feared. The biggest barrier to finding love for me, was me. First, I had to become aware of these limiting thoughts and then, make the choice to replace them with thoughts that matched a vision and version of the person I wanted to be in a relationship.
Key # 4: Become Who You Want to Attract.
In her book "Calling in the One" by Katherine Woodward Thomas, she goes into some detail about how you can not give what you do not have and that you can not attract what you do not have or can not give. If you want someone who is honest and acts with integrity, then you must be honest and act with integrity. If you want someone who is loving and supportive then you must be loving and supportive. If you want someone who is physically fit and healthy, then you can not be a couch potato! Remember the Law of Attraction; like attracts like. A crucial part of my success in magnetizing my husband included an honest look at who I was being and a forward looking of who I wanted to be and bringing that future self into the here and now.
Key # 5: Celebrate the Closeness to the Match.
It is important to notice evidence of the Law of Attraction at work in your life. If someone shows up in your life that is close, but not exact to your match, acknowledge how close your are to hitting the mark. Many of us are conditioned to look at what is lacking or missing… "Well, he is not quite the right person I was looking for". Instead, celebrate that you are getting closer… "I liked that he was genuine, thoughtful and funny". You will offer a vibration of what you desire and the Law of Attraction will respond to this vibration in kind. I noticed the more I practiced the Law of Attraction by acknowledging that I was getting closer and closer to what I wanted, the quality of men I attracted just got better and better. And by doing this, I increased my belief that the kind of man I was looking for was out there.
READERS: You may be using these Law of Attraction Strategies already. Which ones are you currently using? Which ones would you like to try?
Francesca Dattilo is a Certified Law of Attraction Life Coach and a Certified Style Coach. She has a Master's Degree in Social Work and previously worked as a psycho-therapist teaching people Emotional Mastery. Francesca is committed to helping her clients live out their heart's desires, look good and feel great. She is particularly pas-sionate about helping others find their soul mates. Check her out at www.francescadattilo.ca and like her on Facebook.
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Love how it mentions about not settling. I agree, but often the sites tell us older people to settle. I think settling just makes one disgusted. I know what I want and what I don't want and refuse to settle.
May I suggest one called New Rules Of Attractions of Arden Leigh?
Hi Ashley, thank-you for reading the blog. Would love to hear more about that Ashley. I am not familiar.
great tips Suzie..your outside world is a reflection of what is going on within. if you don't like what is showing up, change your inner world.
Wow. #5 hit me right in the feels. It even made me tear up a little bit. I am currently getting to know a guy that is kind of that 80/20 thing. He has 80% of what I'm looking for but thus far, no spark (among a couple of other things.) I had noticed how close he was but I was feeling all down about what was not there. It never occurred to me to look at it as a GPS thing, that I'm getting close! You have no idea how much this touched me. Thank you. Really.
This article is great! Can't wait to try it myself.
I am happy to hear this came to you at the right time!
The "Law" of Attraction is nothing more then a idea at best, and a con at worst. As you have so said, the "law" essentially says "like attracts like and we get what we focus on." So by that logic, if we meet someone that ends up being abusive or does something horrible to us, we somehow attract it? That's a load of BS.
Years earlier, met a girl at a pharmacy. Liked her. She seemed to like me. I thought about dating her and was grateful for the idea, especially since I was going through a rough year. Eventually, I got her number. Then some stuff happened beyond my control (and not my fault) and she never spoke to me again. Please, explain how I manifested that.
The LOA seeks to propagate a blame-the-victim mentality and block-all-negative-thoughts approach to life, literally making people afraid to EVER have a negative thought.
By the way, ever read a book by Esther Hicks? Two words for everything she says: [CITATION NEEDED]. Heck, judging from all the ways LOA gurus can contradict each other (and occasionally themselves), it's amazing it's gotten so popular without major scrutiny.
Hello James, Thank-you for your comment. I appreciate your different view and experience of the Law of Attraction. That is another way of looking at it.