Life frequently gives us sorting tasks. They often feel endless. I remember organizing my husband's cancer medicines and sorting out our home after his death. I remember ten years of caregiving tasks before my mother-in-law died in 2018.
Dear Elaine, It's so heartening to hear that any or all previous sorting tasks we may have undertaken earlier in our lives, will be of huge benefit when we are presented with yet another symbolic bag of mixed seeds, years later. I'm so pleased to know that you're slowly recovering and slowly sorting out your current tasks. On reflection, as a poet I sense that I'm often given a task which I must complete before I can move on, this year I feel summoned to write a nature poem for each month of the year in order to learn more about the deeper rhythms and tempos (above & below) of the seasons.
How relevant the myths are today! And with Hale's impressive painting I couldn't help but think of Virginia and yourself (through a mythological lens) in Venus and Psyche's roles. For better than most, you came to know there was no love stronger than the love between a mother and her son. I'm sure this is all ringing bells with you as Virginia fought hard to keep her place as a most beautiful goddess in the universe, and must have been furious when she realised she was being usurped by a beautiful, gentle maiden! And so, the impossible sorting tasks began in order to earn wisdom. Love and light, Deborah.
As you can tell, Psyche's Four Labors are dear to me. The first is the easiest to grasp. They get more and more complex and harder to understand with more elaborate images and harder jobs. The Third Labor is still most mysterious to me. I love your monthly poems as a way of sorting and making order of nature's yearly cycle. Aphrodite in your April poem is far different from the Aphrodite/Venus in Eros and Psyche.
I always think of Virginia's as I work with Eros and Psyche. I began studying it around 1990, so had a long time to ponder the role of mother-in-law and jealousy. Vic was an only child and certainly Virginia's Son-Lover, even if unconsciously. His memory of reaching adolescence was a desperate need to escape–and he did in many ways. I hope I'm more conscious with my two sons, but I'm sure those shadows lurk around. You might remember I wrote about Virginia in the context of the Fourth Labor where Psyche is instructed to ignore desperate hands reaching out for her as she crosses the River Styx. Our class grappled with the meaning of this many years ago, but understood there are times when our soul demands we save ourselves. Thank you for your reflections and love and beautiful poetry.
You have scripted a wonderful narrative of your passage through virtual silence to the hearing world, and with Venus, Eros, and Psyche to illuminate the story. My friend Helen had a cochlear implant several years ago, and she walked the streets of our neighborhood with quizzical looks sometimes. Thanks to you, I have more insight into her long struggle through the maze (surgery, audiologists and more).
You'll get all this sorted out, step by step, as you have with other "mountains of chaos." Of that I am confident.
No one has accused me of being secretive, Marian. (I need a smiley face emoticon, but don't have those on WordPress). I hope your neighbor had good support because an implant is demanding. When the audiologist and his resident brought out bags of supplies, my eyes were wide with wonder and a touch of fear. What have I taken on here? I'm finding help with many individuals and a cochlear implant Facebook group. I ask a question about resources and get almost immediate expert answers with links to what I need–proving Facebook is good for something. Writing helps me make meaning of what I'm going through. I relate to Psyche's exhaustion and feeling that she can't do each task.
I love this wonderful example of how relevant the ancient myths still are today. I know this myth well, and have taught it in classes. Yet I hadn't associated Psyche's first trial with the repetitious, frustrating, boring, sorting process of putting my book together until you mentioned it! And to see how archetypal the relationship between Virginia and you was, as Deborah points out. Wow. I hadn't thought of that either.
Thank you for this reminder to engage my mythic mind, to look to the archetypal stories for the deep soul wisdom they contain. I do notice when the ants come to my rescue, and I am grateful for their help, but now I have the added blessing of remembering how this story ends: with love and the birth of pleasure and joy!
Blessings on you in your healing process. And thank you for sharing the wisdom you're acquiring from it.
I begin with the feeling experience and then look for a familiar mythological story to help me understand. I did a blog on the Fourth Labor using an example of dealing with Virginia when her needs were dragging me under. I could work on the Second Labor from the perspective of her anger (and my own subdued but shadowy anger reaction in earlier years).
Oh, those blessed ants! We need them so often. When you describe preparing your book, it sounds like those ants had lots to do. This, not that. Maybe this and maybe not. I find the first and fourth labor easiest to understand. The third is most mysterious, but I haven't revisited it recently. It may soon be time–but first your manuscript (it's here and I'm beginning today) and also my May workshop preparation full of mythological examples about grief and loss. Plus the constant on-going task of sorting sound. The ants are never out of work.
I haven't heard one medical audiology person mention the pleasure of sound, but I'll tell my audiologist next week that I think they should encourage patients to not work to hear better every minute. Sometimes it's important to remember pleasure and relax with sound, even if it's a little odd and let this process have some effortless meditative, deep breath moments. After a day in town with traffic and grocery store coolers and other city noise, I need the healing sound of singing birds, the wind, and the gentle noises of the house. No effort. Simply wonder and gratitude that I can hear my own footsteps on the stairs.
The process you're going through is amazing, Elaine. I'm so glad there are tools that can help you recover some hearing. Thanks for sharing your journey so others know what's possible.
Thank you, Colleen. I look forward to improved hearing. It's already much better which means I take in conversations and interesting spoken phrases and words. I missed that. There are many tasks involved with this, but as I just mentioned in a comment, there's also a return of pleasure–and possibility.
You bring hope and for this I thank you.
I'm taking in sound as a transcendent function, Susan. Rilke speaks of sound in this way in "Sonnets to Orpheus." There's huge emphasis in audiology on the tutorials, discriminating one word from another, getting the machinery tuned just right. I also want to enjoy the beautiful sounds that come to me already. Most sound is not beautiful yet, but there has been tremendous change in 3 weeks. Another mapping session with the Audiologist tomorrow. I wasn't sure I would ever qualify for this surgery and when I qualified, I got scared. I didn't know surgery would make an almost immediate change in balance and vestibular symptoms which were almost as disturbing as deafness. My brain is taking in the new signals and figuring out how to make sense of them. I love the Four Labors. Thank you, Susan.
Thank you, Debby. This has to unfold at its own rate. It's been a fast change so far, but who knows what will happen next–except that I will get there.
Thank you, Avery. I'm re-learning to hear, one seed syllable at a time.
"Taking in sound as a transcendent function." What mystery and beauty in those words, Elaine. And always, the "both/and" needing to be held together–the seemingly impossible sorting of seeds along with the return of pleasure and possibility.
I just went back and reread your entry on Psyche's fourth labor, which was perfect timing as my 98-year-old mother-in-law is in the hospital after a stroke, and we are sorting through (the seeds of) what happens next. However, unlike Virginia, she is showering her family with love (even though she no longer can express herself with words), and I am having to learn to pull because of my health limitations, letting others tend to what is needed in the material realm.
As always, thank you for your inspiration and sharing your hard-earned wisdom.
I love thinking of sound as transcendent. We've all had that experience with music, an experience I longed for when grieving. Rilke writes eloquently of hearing in "Sonnets to Orpheus." I'll likely write about this soon, but thought I'd shared enough about hearing for a while. I'm doing something else this week, but I won't let this idea fade. When I try to listen to complex music, it's garbled still and does not feel related to transcendence, so I'm going for bird songs, peeper frogs, woodpecker tapping, and the sound of rain pounding on the windows.
I'm glad "Sorting the Seeds" is helpful. We do a lot of that in this life. I'm also glad your mother-in-law is sharing love with her family. It's a gift we can give to the end. Thank you, Anne, for reading and sending encouraging words. May all go well as you sort out the next step for your mother-in-law. Take good care of yourself.