Hello! Confucius has translated a menu from English into Mandarin complete with simplified Confucian romanization to assist you in China.
Fish Head = "You Toe!"
Fish Skin = "You Pee!"
Pig's Ears = "Jew 'R' Dwoe"
Peking Duck = "Cow Ya"
Sea Cucumber = "High Shun"
French Fries = "Shoe T'yao"
Ice Cream = "Bing Chee Lean"
Jasmine Tea = "Moly Whaw Chaw!"
Pepsi Cola = "Buy Shir Colla' "
Good morning! = "Joe sawn!"
How much does this cost? = "Gay doe cheen?"
Let's eat! = "Sick fawn!"
steamed rice = "bock fawn"
fried rice = "chow fawn"
You're crazy! = "Cheeee sing!"
No problem! = "Mo mun tie"
Check, please! = "Migh dawn!"
Cantonese is very difficult to speak = "Gwong doe'ng wa hoe naan gong"
* Use this phrase liberally in almost any situation with anybody that you encounter. Add a "cheeee sing" immediately afterwards for added effect (guaranteed uncontrollable laughter from all Cantonese speaking folks in your vicinity) "Nay yawmo GOW choe waaah; ... cheeee sing!"