It's actually 730 meters high, with a square footprint of 450 meters. Pretty huge, indeed.
Well, it's been discovered now: An ancient pyramid, right here in Our Fair City. And after the blush of pride, shock, and wonderment wore off – in about seven minutes – controversy over the use and very existence of this magnificent structure erupted all around the City.
Some controversy has arisen about whether or not to protect the ancient pyramid as an historic building. "It's gotta have historic preservation. We really can't use it for anything that would in any way change the façade or anything about this building. It's pretty historic," asserts William, long-time resident.
"I couldn't care less," said Vic.
"Social justice, in all its forms. We have to remember social justice," remarked Elaine, long-term resident and activist since in-utero.
"Trees. Pyramid-friendly trees. Keep that in mind. Cambridge has lost an insane percentage of its tree canopy, and we need to wonder whether we need an ancient pyramid or we need trees," reflected James of the citizens group Oxygen Now.
"Ya' know, we don't even know if this building is authentically a pyramid that's really ancient. We don't know. It could be 80,000 years old, or it could be a six month-old knock-off, faux stone on the outside, press wood on the inside," notes Olive, CEO of Cambridge's not-for-profit We're Just Not Sure about Anything, a think tank that isn't sure about anything.
And it's true. We just don't know. Yet.
The city awaits the deployment of a dreadfully expensive consultant from the Organization of Ancient and Faux Pyramids to come around and do a full assessment of this humongous structure. Only then can a viable discussion and exploration happen about the future of Cambridge's own ancient pyramid.
As you can see, there are a great many opinions about what to do with Cambridge's newly discovered ancient pyramid. If you would like to participate in deciding the future of this possibly historic, shadow-casting, destination-helping, life-saving, social justice, garden-growing, accessibility-positive, owner-mysterious, maybe mystical, walking hazardous, trees, sky-above-underutilizing, infrastructureless structure, please apply to join the Pyramid Working Group and have your say!