I am 55 years old and have 28 friends on MySpace.
A lot of them are bands or singers.
For a long time Tom was my only friend.
I will accept anyone as a friend.
If you don't have a friend, I will be your friend.
One of my friends, a singer in Oregon, has 8413 friends.
Two of my friends are New York women in their fifties who probably don't realize I'm not straight.
Three of my friends are webzines.
until I can talk without my giant uvula swinging around.
I have plantar fasciitis and tibia tendonitis posterior.
I wear orthotics in my New Balance sneakers.
Richard Grayson is a retired teacher and lawyer. His books of short stories include With Hitler in New York, Lincoln's Doctor's Dog, I Brake for Delmore Schwartz, I Survived Caracas Traffic, The Silicon Valley Diet, Highly Irregular Stories, and the forthcoming Dear Brain (Dis-Press) and And to Think That He Kissed Him on Lorimer Street (Dumbo Books).
First published in 3:AM Magazine: Thursday, March 8th, 2007.