I was speaking to a fellow money guru recently and posed the following question to him, "How do you advise people with money about keeping their wealth in the family?" He didn't skip a beat and said, "Do as 'the Royals' do and marry your cousin." I thought he was kidding, but he wasn't.
Throughout history, money has played a big part in marriage. In fact, the practice of royal intermarriage, or consanguinity as it is known, of members of ruling dynasties marrying into other reigning families is common. It was usually done to forge land bonds, settle disputes, and acquire and keep great fortunes.
The Chinese have a long view on things and see intermarriage as a tool to quell many disagreements. We also saw this practice in Tibet. I was there with my kids and we witnessed truckloads of Chinese women being brought to Tibet to marry the locals in order to quell some of the ancient strife between these areas. The money seemed to work, according to the local people. This is not a ploy to keep wealth in the family, but it is an example of using it to "create" love.
Marrying Cousins In The U.S.
Historically, in the U.S., primarily in the south, members of plantation antebellum families intermarried. One famous family, the Dogan's, who lived in South Carolina in the 1840's and 1850's, were related by blood or marriage to at least 50 individuals in their county.
Rudy Giuliani married his second cousin, Regina Peruggi.
Queen Elizabeth II married Prince Phillip and they are second cousins, once removed.
Edgar Allan Poe married his first cousin, when she was only 13.
Jesse James married his first cousin, Zerelda Mimms.
Albert Einstein married Elsa Lowenthal who was his first cousin on this mother's side and second cousin on his father's side.
Kevin Bacon married Kyra Sedgewick and then discovered they were 9th cousins, once removed.
Jerry Lee Lewis married his 13 year old cousin when he was 22.
Johann Sebastian Bach married his second cousin.
Thomas Jefferson married his third cousin.
Franklin D. Roosevelt married his fifth cousin, Eleanor Roosevelt.
Charles Darwin married his first cousin.
The Internet is swamped with pithy advice surrounding money and marriage, mostly with respect to women marrying for money (cousins, or not). This drives me nuts! Unless you are living out of a shopping cart with three starving children to feed and this is the only alternative for survival, turn off your computer and stop reading these silly advice columns. You are a smart, capable woman and you need to only marry for love. Go make your own money!
The clichés are correct, "Money won't buy you happiness." (I'm finished with my lists. You know the long list of wealthy people who are not happy.) Money can buy cool stuff, but not the stuff that makes a good marriage. It is not going to solve any problems, and by the way, it can go away.
Money can become a trap. I'm not saying that Nicole Simpson was "held hostage" by OJ Simpson's money, but some may say that it had a grip on her. Also, look at many of the beautiful and successful women who just become "living jewelry" for rich men, only to be replaced by the younger version. Salma Hayek married billionaire Francois Henri Pinault whose net worth is estimated at $15 billion. Elle Macpherson married Jeffery Soffer, estimated to be worth $1 billion. Uma Thurman tied the knot with billionaire, Arpad Busson, who likes his celebs and has two children with Elle Macpherson. Vanessa Laine, 17, dropped out of high school to marry Kobe Bryant. Let's not forget Anna Nicole Smith, the 24-year-old stripper who married the 87-year-old oil tycoon, J. Howard Marshall. And, this trend is not reserved for women; just look at David Furnish and Elton John.