Okay, here it is, the last and final resting place of my health journey. It took all of that messy climbing and falling and climbing up again to get to this place of a completely plant-based diet living in alignment with my core values and lots of self love and compassion. But before we go on I feel like I should preface this with what is swirling around in my own head and perhaps yours. I feel like a hypocrite! How can I sit here and shout from the rooftops that a plant-based diet is the best diet for your body, the planet, all other humans and animals when I was eating meat just about 18 months ago?
Now it is about 18 months ago and I am feeling very disconnected form my body. My body feels weak and frail, sick. I can't do a lot of things with my hands. I spill things and need to take breaks when cooking dinner or shampooing my hair. I can't really hold a hair dryer for long or stir when I cook. Holding my kids is really difficult and walking the dogs seems daunting. I am also packing up an entire house to move in with my mother for 7 months and then move 2.5 hours away from everyone I know and love.
And so I made bone broth and bone marrow. I added pastured meats to my recipes. I poured collagen into my coffee and pretty much forced my toddler to take fermented cod liver oil. I made gummies out of beef gelatin and cut way back on our grains and fruit. I added grass fed butter and egg yolks to everything. And somehow through all of this I was able to disassociate enough to see meat as food for the first time in 18 years. Somehow I was able to block out everything I knew to be true and right for myself. Somehow...and that somehow was fear. Fear is SO powerful! I thought this was for the health of me and my family.
Okay, I have a lot to say today and I'm not really sure how to organize it all into one blog post so I will probably summarize and then go back and elaborate on specifics, particularly if anyone has specific questions.
Recently I've felt a deep yearning to be more authentic. To live my life in a way that lines up with my core values and moral compass. To be unapologetically ME! Is unapologetically even a word? The real me doesn't care so I'm not even going to look it up, HA!
Anyway, I have been reflecting on my life the past few years, like A LOT! Thinking about the person I am verses the person I put out into the world verses the person I want to be. For me this has always been three different people! This is not okay! I mean we all learn to adjust to our environment and sometimes being who we are will get us punched so we tone it down. This is natural and a good thing. What I am referring to though is different because it is based on fear. Fear that I wouldn't be accepted. Fear that I wasn't good enough or smart enough. Fear of confrontation. Fear of crying in front of someone or you know shitting my pants because of anxiety. Hey, this is the real me!