Hi, I have been told by family and friends that I have Anorexia. This time last year, I was overweight at 11.7 stone (28.8 BMI) and now I am 7.4 stone (18.3 BMI) and 159cm. Most of the weight was lost in the first three months by eating less than 500 calories per day. Every time I eat I feel so guilty and I feel like I don't deserve food as I'm too fat.
Yesterday my parents made me eat at a restaurant with then and I had a whole pizza!!! As soon as I got home I looked up the calories and it was 1040!! I feel really guilty now and I wish I had the courage to have thrown it up. Now, because I ate that yesterday I am not having breakfast or lunch today, and I will only eat a low calorie (Around 200) ready meal for dinner because my parents will make me. I really want to be normal and be able to enjoy food again, but every time I eat I feel guilty and get really bloated. I also feel cold and hungry all the time. Last week my mum took me to a Chinese buffet and because I wanted to recover, I ate the same amount as her. Now I fell like I binged and because of that I will get fat and no one will like me. Plus that day I had agonising stomach pains and threw up (naturally, not self induced). Every time I eat I feel like I am binging and wasting all my effort. I used to love sweets, now I never allow myself any treats.
Because my BMI is only 18.3, I am seen as too fat to receive help from the NHS for anorexia. Does anyone know how to self recover from anorexia? I heard that you are meant to eat over 3000 calories a day, but to me that seems like binging and then surely I will become obese?! Also if I ate sweets everyday surely everyone would see me as a pig as no one else in my house eats junk food daily?!
Try eating larger amounts of what you normally do - but don't over do it because your stomach has shrunk due to the anorexia. Try eating healthily instead of 'binging' on sweets and junk food yanno? They're healthy for you and they can be sweet due to the natural sugars in them, if that makes sense?
You can get help for this, the NHS do have guidelines on how they diagnose people... you're right. But if you go to your GP and explain, they can refer you to an eating disorder service who can then assess if and what help you need. It's scary at first but once you do it, you'll be thankful you did. Get a hold of it now before it consumes your entire life, friendships and relationships too.