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Awareness without action is like tasting food without swallowing. All that marvelous insight and discovery from our coaching will be useless and results and change will not occur unless that information is put into some sort of experience. It might be a physical action, or a mental action. It could also be an emotional or spiritual experience—there is no right way it appears. There are many different forms that it may take, from some sort of homework to an open question, or perhaps a journaling experience or even an opportunity to do something right there during the coaching to deepen and lock it in. Whatever it is, it's critical that something occurs, otherwise that insight and learning will be lost.
Often referred to as either the "Big A" or "little A". The Big "A" agenda is the meta-view, or how clients' choices and actions relate to their big-picture agendas/ This is where clients learn more deeply about how they operate. At its core, the Big "A" agenda consists of the three principles of co-Active coaching: fulfillment, balance, and process. It assumes that clients want these three things: (1) to live fulfilling lives, (2) to be in balance about those lives, and (3) to be present in the process of life. The coach interacts with clients holding this Big "A" agenda at all times.
This skill enables the client to grant the coaching relationship access to unusually intimate or sometimes impolite areas of focus.
Challenging involves requesting that a client stretch way beyond his or her self-imposed limits. Frequently, in the face of a challenge, clients will respond with a counteroffer that is greater than they initially would have allowed themselves to make otherwise.
Recognizes and help the client acknowledge and appreciate his or her strengths and potential.
The client has greater appreciation of personal capabilities and potential.
The client is more willing to take actions beyond current paradigms or strategies.
Being in empathy with the client.
Recognizing a wider range of possibilities.
Encouraging and empowering the client.
Recognizing strengths of client and awareness of where strengths support personal and organizational goals (where appropriate).
The more often, and deeply, the coach champions their client at all levels (including their actions, progress, dreams, traits, commitments, gifts and qualities), the more encouraged the client feels and the more likely they are to succeed. For the coach to merely be encouraging is not enough; there is a much higher level of support generated when the coach operates at the championing level, which is where the Certified Coach operates.
Be excited about their actions/progress.
2. Point to underlying shifts/growth.
3. Be awed by their willingness.
The key distinction is championing vs. cheerleading.
Reduce/eliminate confusion or uncertainty; increase understanding and the confidence of the client.
The client and the coach move forward in a more directed way.
Identify the most important issue while respecting client's preferences and limitations.
No judgment by the coach, no leading toward a particular destination.
Identify key values and needs.
Facilitate alignment of purpose, vision and mission.
Clearing is a skill that is of benefit to both the client and the coach. When a client is preoccupied with a situation or a mental state that interferes with his or her ability to be present or take action, the coach assists the client by being an active listener while he or she vents or complains. This active listening allows the client to temporarily clear the situation out of the way and focus on taking the next step.
This should be obvious, yes? After all, the cleaner the communication, the less that gets in the way of great coaching. That said, most of us have 'stuff' in our communication style, which slows down the super-conductive nature of the coaching process. Certified Coaches have worked to clean up the stuff that can get in the way of effective coaching. What kind of stuff? Everything from biases, judgments, unmet needs, shoulds, coulds, to singularity, vicariousness, agendas, arrogance and fears. It can all be cleaned.
3. Be responsible for how you are heard, not just what you say.
The key distinction is absence of vs. unnecessary additives.
All information that a client shares with a coach is held as confidential. This means that all information that a client confides in the coach is not shared with anyone else without the client's expressed permission. Confidentiality, the hallmark of the coaching profession, creates safety and trust and is the basis of the powerful designed alliance between client and coach. – Co-Active Coaching, first Ed.
The coach who is naturally curious can be well guided by that curiosity. After all, coaches are in the discovery business and how can you help the client find new and better ways of doing things, if you are not curious? And the real benefit of curiosity is that it leads to learning for both the coach and client.
2. Be curious about dynamics.
3. Be curious about the facts.
The key distinction is curiosity vs. information gathering.
Who else is trained to be proficient in this, 24/7/365, but the Certified Coach? And, while it is true that few clients come to a coach and specifically ask that we bring out and develop this greatness, this is what we do naturally when we ask the client to think and act bigger, and by challenging the client to continually raise their own bar and standards.
2. Ask for "absence of" something.
3. Ask for a much bigger game.
The key distinction is greatness vs. success.
Coaching sessions are generally short. By hearing what the client is saying and not saying, by questioning what you hear, by asking the right questions, pressing for clarity, and by sharing what you know and how you feel, provocative conversations can occur within minutes, not months. Welcome to the world of the Certified Coach.
3. Question what does not resonate.
The key distinction is provocative conversation vs. nice chat.
How is 'enjoying the client' a proficiency? Simple. Because when you enjoy the client in their entirety (including their upsides and downsides), high levels of trust naturally occur. And the benefit of that? Clients naturally take more risks and move forward more quickly because they know you are totally there for them. When the coach is at this place with a client, the coaching is collaborative and light, not heavy.
Enjoy their strengths and qualities.
2. Enjoy their faults and foibles.
3. Enjoy their missed opportunities.
The key distinction is enjoy vs. accept.
The Certified Coach expands the client's thinking by weaving in new concepts, principles and distinctions during the coaching session, and also by inviting the client to experiment with new models, ways of doing things, and even to identify new goals or outcomes. Clients don't usually ask the coach for this, but these are key ways that value is created for the client.
Broach topics that client didn't retain you for.
2. Share ideas/distinctions that will expand the client.
The key distinction is broaching vs. reacting.
Understanding of coaching ethics and standards and ability to apply them appropriately in all coaching situations.
Understands and exhibits in own behaviors the ICF Standards of Conduct (see list, Part III of ICF Code of Ethics).
One of the reasons clients hire a coach is to support them to do more in a shorter period of time than they would do on their own. Hence, the Certified Coach acts as both a catalyst and accelerant. By supporting the client to do more than they have done or think that they are capable of doing, significant value is added.
Congratulate, then ask for 2/10x more.
3. Point out the next level/place to operate from.
The key distinction is expansion vs. pushing.
Attention and awareness to how the coach communicates commitment, direction, intent, and ideas – and the effectiveness of this communication.
The coaching interaction is enhanced with the client being at ease and trusting.
The client is open to understanding and/or questioning any communication from the coach.
Helps the client become or remain focused and working towards intended goals.
The client is clear about what he or she wants to accomplish or transform.
The client is inspired by the possibilities.
The client moves forward purposefully.
Inquiring into the client's intentions and goals.
Time spent on what is most important.
Periodically reviewing, revising and/or celebrating the process and intentions.
Depending on the day, hour or even minute, what is most important to the client will change. Such is the nature of individuals in a high-growth phase of their lives. The Certified Coach is both quick to recognize this moving target and is flexible enough to adjust the coaching to be effective in this new terrain.
Ask the client what is most important, not just most urgent.
2. Focus on the shifts called for, not just the urgent business.
3. Continually get updated by what the client says is most important.
The key distinction is present moment vs. recent priority.
This term refers to a powerful question given at the end of the session that is intended to deepen the client's learning and provoke further reflection. The intention is for the client to consider the inquiry between sessions and to see what occurs for him or her. The inquiry is usually based on a particular situation the client is currently addressing.
Creating an environment that allows ideas, options and opportunities to emerge.
The coach enables expansion of thoughts and actions.
The client's awareness is expanded.
The coach helps client transcend barriers.
The client is willing to leave his/her comfort zone.
The client has more options.
Trust, openness, curiosity, courage, and recognition of potential.
The coach and the client communicate through exploration and discovery.
Identify "internal" possibilities (e.g., personal greatness, higher purpose) and "external" possibilities (e.g., resources, memes).
Possibilities are generated by the coach, the client or a collaboration of the two.
(levels 1, 2 & 3) – The coach listens for client's vision, values, commitment, and purpose in their words and demeanor. To listen for is to listen in search of something. The coach listens with a consciousness, with a purpose and focus that comes from the alliance that was designed with the client. The coach is listening for the client's agenda, not the coach's agenda for the client.
In Level 1 the listening is internal. We hear the words of the other person, but the focus is on what it means to us. In a coaching relationship the client is at Level 1, looking inside.
Level 2 is focused listening. The attention is laser-focused over there: on the other person.
Give full attention to the words, nuances, and the unspoken meaning of the client's communication; the coach is more deeply aware of the client, his/her concerns and the source of the issue, by listening beyond what the client is able to articulate.
The client feels understood and validated – not judged.
The client communicates more effortlessly and resourcefully.
The coach focuses on what the client expresses, both verbally and nonverbally.
The coach listens beyond what the client articulates.
The coach is alert to discrepancies between what the client is saying (words) and the client's behavior and/or emotions.
Focus full attention on the client, processing information at the level of the mind, body, heart and/or spirit, as appropriate. The coach expands the client's awareness of how to experience thoughts and issues on these various levels, when and as appropriate. The coach utilizes what is happening in the session itself (client's behavior, patterns, emotions, and the relationship between coach and client, etc.) to assist the client toward greater self-awareness and positive, appropriate action.
The client is free to express and engage with present reality.
The client is unencumbered by past or future preoccupations or concerns.
The client benefits from coaching insight and support on all levels.
The coach is highly attuned to subtle communications from the client.
The coach is aware of the dynamics occurring within the session, within the client, and between coach and client, and understands how the dynamics are affecting the client and the coaching.
The coach has a simultaneous and holistic awareness of the client's communications at all levels.
The coach is able to discern whether the client is communicating from the past, present or future.
The coach allows the client the opportunity to process and clarify the coach's questions and comments.
The coach allows the client the opportunity to process his or her own thoughts and responses.
One way of looking at life is to believe that everything happens for a perfectly good reason, even if we cannot always see or know that reason within our own lifetime. The point here is to look for and find how a client's event, problem, situation or trait is perfect, even if it's clearly not. Seeking to understand and recognizing perfection first, instead of offering tips, techniques and solutions as a knee-jerk reaction, is what the Certified Coach does naturally.
2. Identify the Greater Truth of the situation; perfection is in there.
This may sound obvious, and it's deeper than that. After all, truth is a level above mere honesty, as in there is always a truth about a situation, person or event that, when discovered and articulated, can transforms one's life or business. Certified Coaches have come to enjoy and orient around truth as a source of joy and guidance.
Come to enjoy/relish truth about the client's abilities and limitations.
2. Teach the client how to relish the truth for the pleasure, not just the utility, of it.
3. Be open to truths about your coaching style/paradigm.
The key distinction is relishing truth vs. expecting honesty.
We all have limits, both internal and external, and as much as coaching is about maximizing potential and opportunities, we are all human and the Certified Coach respects this. Success without stress is what we are all after and by recognizing limits and appreciating different paths to achievement, the client is both individually and universally respected.
The key distinction is respect vs. patience.
Respect the client's RAM limitations.
2. Respect the client's style/approach.
3. Respect the client's wishes.
The key distinction is respect vs. accept.
The more aware anyone is, the better choices they can make for themselves. Part of what Certified Coaches do with clients is to help them discover their gifts, talents, wants, values, needs and dreams, as well as come to understand what motivates and inspires them. The result? A well-informed client, quickly moving forward on their path of self-awareness.
Point to their unseen gifts/secret aspirations.
2. Help them see their way of thinking/paradigm.
3. Help to identify their sources of motivation/energy.
The key distinction is awareness vs. information.
Clients rely on our observations, intuition and even our inklings to help move them forward in life. Hence, the more often, and easily, a coach can share what they see, feel and hear, the more value that can be created for that client. It's often the tiniest, most subtle inklings that can act as powerful beacons and catalysts to the client's life or business.
3. Share what you are hesitant to share.
The key distinction is inkling vs. evidence.
Success, not to mention personal evolution, becomes sustainable when there are environments and failsafe structures that support it. After all, who wants to rely on fortitude and willpower to get things done or to develop oneself? Enter the Certified Coach who has been specifically trained in helping the client to design and install these environments.
Design environments that automatically support.
2. Design stimulating environments that evolve.
3. Repair environments that weaken.
The key distinction is environments vs. self-reliance.
Helping the client identify and build the relationships, tools, systems and structures he or she needs to advance and sustain progress.
The client is confident and secure in moving forward, knowing that resources are available or can be created.
The coach suggests possible support systems and structures appropriate to the client's needs.
The coach prompts the client to identify support systems and structures the client has but is not utilizing effectively.
The coach assists the client to identify areas in which the client feels a need for support and structure.
The client understands the value of appropriate support systems.
The client's progress toward their goals or intentions is more sustainable.
Creating Trust – The Coaching relationship rests on a foundation of safety and trust. To create trust you might discuss safety, maintain confidentiality, tell the truth, offer clients an opportunity to ask for what they want, and actively listen to what they are telling you. – Co-Active Coaching, First Ed.
Ensure a safe space and supportive relationship for personal growth, discovery and transformation.
The client is open to sharing and receiving.
The client perceives the coach as a personal advocate.
The client sees transformation and growth as manageable.
The client has realistic expectations of results and responsibilities of coaching.
The client feels safe to share fears without judgment from the coach.
If it looks like a particular coaching skill is missing and you think it should be a part of this list, then please email me at ben@bedo.org and I'll try to pop it in (if appropriate).