For the past two days, I've been trying to think of something profound and special to post today.
My husband, Bruce, would have been 63 today.
So, God has secrets and no matter how we may plead and cajole, He will not tell us these hidden truths unless revealing them will help us. Sometimes the truths are in plain sight, but do not come to full light until they are quickened to our soul. One morning, I was breezing through chapter 14 of the Gospel of John, familiar with the content and not really focusing. Jesus was speaking with his closest friends, telling them some of those special secrets he knew they would need to know; He was preparing them for His imminent death. He gave them the privilege of asking the Father for anything in His name and promised them peace of mind and heart.
On more than one occasion Bruce had said to me something like, "I can't wait to see Jesus face-to-face," or "If I die before you, don't be sad because you know I'll be with the Father, and happier than you could imagine!" And my response to him always was something like, "Yeah, good for you, bad for me." Or, "I'll be happy for you, and sad for me because I don't want to do life without you." And that is what happened. That is why this verse startled me, though I'm certain I had read it many times before. I was focusing on my 'sad' and not Bruce's 'happy'. Truly, I could not turn off my 'sad', but tempering my sorrow with Bruce's joy was a key to my healing.
The tears lasted hours that morning, but I think that it was something God was intimately nudging me to do. This was an act of choice. Grief did not miraculously disappear, and maybe never will, but that moment gave me a different perspective on Bruce's journey from this world to the next. I chose to allow a deep, abiding sense of His joy to infiltrate my heart. The Word of God breathed a holy secret to me that morning, and it fanned the sparks of hope that lay dormant in my soul.
I recently read a book by a favorite author of mine, Margaret Feinberg. Margaret has been going through a grueling battle with cancer for the past year and a half. Her book, Fight Back With Joy, chronicles her struggle, as she shares a secret key to survival: Joy.
Joy and happiness are not the same thing. We cannot pretend to be happy when wracked with excruciating pain, horrendous reactions to chemotherapy, and fear for the future. But we can have joy. Margaret candidly speaks from her heart and from her own experience, which gives her credibility when she says, "Joy emanates out of the abiding sense of God's fierce love for us… Life's thorniest paths can lead to great joy." In spite of circumstances, we can choose to believe that His love will overwhelm the darkness.
Embracing God's sovereignty and love for us changes our attitude. Just as focusing on my husband's heavenly joy changed my perspective, fighting back with joy armed Margaret with the ability to overcome.
This post is part of Margaret Feinberg's Partymob for her brand-new book and Bible study,Fight Back With Joy. To join the celebration (and learn more), click here. To grab a copy of this book, click here or here.
1Plumb. "Need You Now (How Many Times)". Need You Now. Curb Records, Inc., 2012. CD.
I used to be a somewhat faithful member of the blogsphere.
It's been a while since I've posted anything, but I'd like to get back on board, and hope that you will join me.
Much has changed in my life since my last post (http://www.inwards-outwards.blogspot.com/), Some things happened that were pleasant and easy to imagine — more sweet grandbabies–, and some things not. Those will be the things I write about, and those will words will be the outward expressions of my inward impressions.