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Book suggestions: I really love Shannon Hales. She has written Princess Academy, Goose Girl, and a few others. They have strong female characters who aren't wimpy or sappy. I also like The Ordinary Princess by M. M. Kay. One more book (this is better for older readers) is Girl in a Cage. It's a historical fiction novel about Marjorie Bruce of Scotland. It's a great book, fascinating story, well researched, and will cure you from ever wishing you were a princess.
I can heartily recommend the Grace series of books by Mary Hoffman. My daughter is six and when she was faced with a "princess" topic at school she struggled,having much preferred the dinosaur topic of the previous season. The answer was found,as always,at the library. " Princess Grace" is a great read and covers what princesses do and comes up with some very different types of princess.
I would recommend Two Princesses of Bamarre by Gail Carson Levine, as well as her Princess Tales short novels. Robyn Mckinley also has a second reselling of Beauty and the Beast titled "Rose Daughter", though I like "Beauty" better. Robyn Mckinley also has a dragon book, called Dragonhaven, though it might be better for an older kid, as it is a longer novel and at times a bit slow moving, though I thouroughly enjoyed it!