Is the phrase "no problem" cropping up more frequently in your life? When you reach for your order at the counter of your local coffee shop and say "thank you" to the barista, does she reply, "no problem". Or does the phone tech who helps you resolve a computer problem respond with the same, "no problem," when you thank him at the end of the call?
The meaning of this phrase was readily apparent when I first heard it – "It is no problem for me to have helped you and you are welcome." But it left me feeling mildly disconcerted and I wondered why.
According to this theory, when you use 'don't' or 'no', you signal your unconscious mind to go ahead with whatever follows that word. One example used to explain this phenomenon is the proverbial, "don't think about a pink elephant." Most folks will conjure up a pink elephant on hearing this injunction.
On my first encounter with this theory, I related it to my own experience of navigating active toddlers through a grocery store when my "don't touch please" requests rarely worked. Little did I know I was actually signaling my boys to grab the packages on the shelves. The theory also explained why my "hands in your pockets please" comment proved to be more fruitful.
If you experiment with this approach, I'd love to hear about your experiences. How are you using, 'don't', or 'no', or 'not' ineffectively? How might you change these expressions? Why not give it a try?
I like using the phrase "my pleasure" when responding to someone's acknowledgement of my assistance. I get lots of smiles and second glances.
What a wonderful way to respond to acknowledgement for work well done! I can see why you get lots of smiles and second glances.
Love this month's contribution. You are so right. This makes me think of a lecture that was given at my college quite a while ago (1990s).
Students from the nearby middle school were invited, and they were overfull of adolescent energy. I have to admit I did holler, but what I hollered was "Walk!!!" instead of "don't run," which is what I was thinking. To my surprise, the tide slowed, and the students, surprised, actually walked to their seats.
What a perfect example of this theory!
Great post, Bonnie. Now I understand why my English teachers drummed into me to "avoid using negatives." Using positive expressions gives writing so much more traction.