Seven Souls One Musing is a interview series where I ask 7 people to reflect on 1 theme. If you'd like to be involved in the future, send your full name, website address & twitter handle (if you have one) to : kindovermatterblog(at)gmail(dot)com : I will not be replying but I will file your email to ask you to contribute in the future! Thank you!
Things With Wings My middle boy is 7. He's sweet, affectionate, big and clumsy for his age, and like so many middle children, feels often overlooked. I was surprised and nervous that he wanted to try out for his school's talent show. I never would have done that – I was too shy – too afraid I'd get laughed at. I waited to see if he'd forget about it, but he didn't. First he thought he might sing, but he didn't want to memorize. Then he thought he might do a dance, but couldn't come up with a routine. He tried out a magic trick that left him discouraged. Every night he was in tears because he couldn't figure out what his talent was. I realized that this wasn't going to blow over. He was trying to find his THING. He was confident that there was something he was good at and he wasn't afraid or nervous at all to put it out into the world. He just needed help to FIND that thing and I was standing in the way with my own fears and insecurities. I realized I needed to help him do this. So we came up with a joke routine. He tried out and was so excited and proud to make it in to next week's show! I may still be a nervous wreck, but it's been worth it to give him that special attention and watch him shine!
Life's a Stage Around the beginning of April, one of my dearest friends emailed me stating she was worried about my week long headache and asking if I'd go to the doctor if it didn't pass in a couple of days.
I rarely have the luxury of ignoring the 'No medicine' rule I unfortunately need to follow.
So I replied half serious, half kidding making sure she was aware of her asking that question from the person who is a master at silently suffering through most any kind of pain until there's no other choice but taking medicine and going to the doctor's.
This is the single moment that popped into my head and stood out the most because through that one, simple question she asked – my friend lovingly caring and her genuine concern touched my heart in a more powerful way than I could ever express in mere words; even more so because she lives half way around the world so we can't be close physically, yet I still feel so close to her heart.
Effie's Paper The past month has been a whirlwind. I've been trying to balance my personal life, start a new business, maintain my current business and entertain out of town guests every other weekend. As anyone who's started a new business knows, the process can be all consuming. In addition to kick-starting my stationery company, I have also been preparing to participate in the National Stationery Show in May. A few weeks ago some friends were in town visiting; they're college friends of my husband's, but in a short period of time they've become good friends of mine too. One afternoon over cocktails as we were catching up, my friend Davia announced that she was planning to come back to New York in May to help man my booth at the stationery show. You could've knocked me over with a feather. It was such a generous offer, an offer made without solicitation and an offer made by someone who's only known me for a short period of time. Davia's act of kindness is emblematic of what this new journey has been about for me. I am deeply grateful to her and the other friends and loved ones, new and old, who have believed in my vision and worked so hard to help make effie's paper a reality.
Persistent Green Easter morning. Church. I'm surrounded by celebration. People sing, praise, clap. So why do I fight back tears?
Not many know that I struggle with occasional social anxiety. Large crowds of strangers often send my heart into overdrive and my hands to shaking.
But in that joyful, undulating congregation, a realization blows through me like soft breeze. The unknown people enveloping me? They aren't strangers at all.
I'm not the only one patching heart-cracks. Not the only one who cries, screams, dreams. Not the only one who fights fear with a battalion of joy. Not the only one who feels strong as rock one day and fragile as paper the next. Not the only one sending prayers heavenward like breath scattering dandelion seeds.
Singing. Praising. Clapping. I look to my side, see my great aunt lift trembling hands to the music. Ahead, a little boy touches his mother's hair. Across the aisle, a woman sees me and smiles.
The world isn't full of strangers. They're family, just waiting to be known.
Inner Voices A few months ago, I discovered the Portland based artist Flora Bowley. I felt an instant connection with her artwork, I can say it was love at first sight. I was looking at her website and discovered that she teaches all over the World; it simply makes me happy to know that she shares her love for what she creates and that someday I may be able to attend one of her workshop. I emailed her to know if she was planning to come teaching in Vancouver (BC); the answer was «no» but with hope that if I could find enough people & a place, she could manage to come. After feeling rather sad, I decided to send a wish to the Universe, telling that I would really love to learn from her & would appreciate some gentle push to allow me to attend her workshop close to home. Then I forgot about it, just being confident that what was meant to happen will eventually happen. I kept in mind Paulo Coelho's quote saying «When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.» because I've already experiences this Truth. And then… the Magic simply happened ! Last week, Teesha Moore announced that she was looking for the teachers for ArtFest 2012, I suggested Flora and emailed her. She thanked me, & had a good news: a workshop was planned in Seattle! Sometimes, you just have to trust that the Universe (or God or however you call It) will assist you in the realization of your desire.
Your Great Life TV It was the first time I would have my one year old by myself at bedtime. My wife was attending a corporate event on a weekday night that she was unable to get out of. To be completely honest, I was scared out of my mind. My youngest one is quite passionate and has no trouble demonstrating in unrivaled ways when he's pissed. Would he cry for an hour or more? Would I need to put to practice all my presence and patience? The night descended gently and as his time for bed arrived, something unexpected happened: he held on to me and softly laid his tiny head on my shoulder. No tears. No fuzziness. Pure surrender and unbounded love. With a melted heart I rocked back and forth. For the first time ever, unaided by a car ride or his mom's breast, he fell profoundly, beautifully and unforgettably asleep in my arms.
For Giving Works Jewelry It's an absent thought – that's what stands out as noticeable as I review the significant moments of April. The previous five months have been spent recovering from a deep wound inflicted by a close friend. It was a misunderstanding that provoked her to inflict such pain. I obsessed about it and cried about it and relived it over and over and over. I chose to privately forgive her and each month since has allowed for a little less obsessing and crying and a little more healing and growing and finally – this question was posed and it occurred to me that I have not thought about it in weeks! I am healed. It remains sad to have lost a friend to a misunderstanding but when I think of her now it is with love and thankfulness for the time we had together which was joyful and filled with laughter and smiles. I am wiser for the lessons learned from her – even the way she exited my life allowed for personal growth. An absence of a sad thought – that's significant indeed!
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