So, while walking thru a park yesterday, I came across a bootleg vender of Viagra. At first I imagined what kind of side effects could it have. If you experience an erection lasting more than four dynasties, please consult your physician.
But then I start thinking, in a country where the population is exploding, why aren't they bootlegging a pill to "Keeping it down"?
Maybe Chinese women need to be more picky about with whom they choose for their bootleg bootie call.
Take for instance, Mr. Somebody Stole My Six Pack.
Or, his cousin, Mr. Somebody Stole by Comb.
This guy needs a wake-up call, not a bootie call.
Next, there's the extra from Macklemore's Thrift Shop video.
Sorry, but you're not Prince Charming.
And Mr. Pimp My Ride? Good luck getting a girl in your back seat.
The good news is, there's always American imports.
that the women would dress better.
Take for instance, Miss Manga meets Mrs. Beasley, who kindly let me take her photo. She's tried jamming a few fashion statements into something that got lost in translation. I just don't get the black stockings and garter with JC Penney prints. Or the orange hair. Or the Richard Nixon peace sign.
Then there's the frilly splashing in toxic water look. Young couples rent fancy clothes then wear them for wedding photos.
Then there's the classic plaid/stripes combo.
Someday, this traditional Chinese garb like this ….
Will morph into this. The bootleg bag with traditional embroidery.
Meanwhile, my fashion conscious uber rich students wear doc martins.
And I have been known to dress like this: a faded Monet Lily pad T with an obnoxious pink floppy hat and neon yellow Levi's.
OK. So I'm turning Chinese.
Just how drunk to you have to be to get a tattoo in China?
There are easier ways to die.
streets of Kunming, near the HUMP hostel.
It looks like you can get a little acupuncture done at this ink shop as well.Check out the poster of the pin cushion lady on the wall.
their ankle to be different like everyone else.
that begs for the question: why get the tat in the first place?
Jeff and I once again slipped down the rabbit hole to China.
And just what did we pack in our 200 pounds of jabberwocky?
Along with 24 pounds of tortillas, thirty of Jolly ranchers and atomic fireballs, my bag was packed with tubes of Wineberry Red, Sugared Maple, and Sugar Spice, thanks to a friend who has a lipstick addiction.
Yes, a lipstick addiction. She keeps on ordering tubes online, which means her medicine cabinet is packed with more tubes of Chanel Hydrating Rouge Crème than Coco had herself.
My anonymous friend (who'll I call DEEP VINTAGE WINE) also gave me a free gift bag with my "purchase". It included a brand new pair of Prada boots. High heel, low cut, soft black leather. Oh yeah. They cost more than all of the shades of Dior, Lancome, Urban Decay, MAC and Bobby Brown put together. Deep Vintage wine couldn't return them and wanted me to wear them places in China where fashionable feet have never pounced. squatties, wet markets, Buddhist temples, the Great Wall, the stinky tofu stand.
But not stomping or standing on a western style toilet at the Kunming Airport.
So stay tuned for pictures from the Prada Cam.
A Whopper off the grill.
The Herman Miller chair in our Chicago storage locker that I bought from "Jeff the Chair Guy" that started this crazy adventure.
Oh well. I guess we'll just have to make another trip back.