I provide supportive counseling and psychotherapy. I utilize cognitive-behavioral and solution focused strategies to address client concerns. Personal coaching is available.
Honestly is always the best policy. It might seem harsh but if she doesn't accept you for who you are, then she isn't worth any more of your time. Simply sit down and tell her, remember to be completely honest, as long as you trust her.
Be honest with her; tell her the whole story. Be clear on what you want from this point on, and be patient in having this conversation with her. This might be overwhelming for her (maybe for you too), but just listen to each other, understand that this might need time, and be truthful.
Firstly, congratulations! Coming to terms with your true gender is an incredibly hard thing to do, and the hardest step is accepting it in yourself. Coming out is almost always difficult. You know your girlfriend better than any of us do, but I would recommend honestly above all else. Perhaps you can begin, not by flat out stating that you are transgender, but just by mentioning that you have been having certain feelings lately, and try to ease her into the idea rather than telling her all at once. Be prepared for a variety of reaction and questions. She will probably ask you a lot and you need to be prepared to give honest answers.
Ask her if she knows anyone who is transgender/supportive. If she really loves you, she'd understand.
When I came out to my girlfriend after finding out I was non-binary, I broke the news to her in a subtle but honest way. Avoid sugar coating, avoid stalling. Give her plain fact, so that there's no room for misinterpretation. If she understands you and trusts you enough, she won't hold it against you or judge you for it, but be sure to give her some time to process the news.
It'd probably be good to see if you can learn her stance on the trans community with questions about what she thinks about some recent trans-centric news. (Like that school that made trans students wear green wristbands for identification) Then if you ask her hypothetical questions about how she would feel if her partner was trans and it all seems well, it should be relatively safe to out yourself to her.
To be straight, you should just be open about the situation don't hide anything go slow but be very honest.
Honestly, you have to come out to her. This is who you are. she can't stop you from being yourself. I'm sure she can come to terms with it.
Be honest and true to yourself, expect the unexpected, and stand firm with your decision. Explain your feelings for her, what this changes and what doesn't change, be patient and answer all her questions. Be open and truthful.
Do it at your own time, don't feel pressured to come out if you aren't ready. Also be aware of her feelings, try to understand if she reacts negatively as this is a big deal to her as well as you.
Hi, I understand this is a very hard topic. Even though this may be difficult. I believe this will lead you to being happy and as your best self. Start small, slowly present the idea to her. Then, if it's to hard to say out loud, write her a letter or even on a sticky note. After you do give her a while to proceed it. You've been thinking about this for years and she just found out. Then if she really does love you, I think she'll accept you for who you are.
Coming out can be hard, even when you know your partner is accepting of transgender people, but it can help to just sit down and talk to her about it and tell her.
Really think about it before you do it, don't just do it out of the blue. You should be kind and understanding, even if she doesn't understand or gets frustrated. Coming out can be hard for both parties, as much as we would like to deny that. Be ready to answer questions and provide further explanation. But what you need to make sure of most is that you're level-headed through the whole ordeal. However, let it come from your heart, and let her know how sincere you are. If you have been together that long, then she will understand and will still love you for who you choose to be. Don't be afraid.
You tell her like she is a child that needs to learn her alphabet, but instead of the alphabet you tell her everything she needs to know about being transgender. She will accept you because she loves you.
She fell in love with your personality, not your body. You will still be the same person inside, only now happier because you don't have to hide who you really are.
Just saying it directly is usually the best option. She might be upset depending on the kind of person she is, so be absolutely sure you have accepted yourself for who you are.
Just simply state it. If she is not accepting, explain it to her in a mature manner. The key is to not get angry, because anger just leads to more anger. Be mature, be accepting, be considerate, as well as try and influence her opinion and better understanding of who you are. But most of all, be mature and don't get angry- otherwise she may get angry.
In a quiet safe environment, while maintaining a calm attitude. It's important to have compassion, and understand what it would be like in her shoes. And, if she truly loves you, she will accept you for who you are.
Being transgender myself, I know it is hard to come out, its one of the hardest things to do and especially to somebody as important to you as your girlfriend. The most important thing is your own happiness and if you feel you need to come out to be authentically you then that's what you must do. At the end of the day, if she is your girlfriend then she will love you, and with love it means she should support you in your life. You should tell her how you feel and what you plan on doing regarding transition. If she does not accept you for who you are then you should aim to educate her on your feelings.
Sit her down and tell her "I have been feeling this way for a long time and I would like to talk with you about it. I am FtM Trans or MtF Trans, meaning I feel trapped in the wrong body"
Coming out can be a nerve wracking experience. But remember that if you have been together for many years that your girlfriend likes you for you. Coming to terms with being transgender doesn't mean you are a different person, you are the same and you've just come to learn yourself better. Explain this to her, that is important. The better you explain, the easier it will be for her to understand what you have been dealing with.
First it's great you are being honest with yourself! But now it's time to be honest with her. She may react bad at first but if she really loves you she will come around. It's a big process! It all starts with being honest and confident!
I have personal experience with this and I found that it's best to have an honest talk with her. You have been with them for many years so they should be willing to hear you out. My girlfriend took it quite well and although we are no longer together it was a very rewarding experience. It can take time because it's like telling someone you are different to what they thought, they have to get used to it and at times it will be hard. She might struggle with your pronouns, your name etc. But it can work out and now you understand yourself it is only fair to share that with your significant other.
This is no small task to be sure. Gender dysphoria is bound to have an effect on all relationships, sometimes good and sometimes not. Positive language is the best route in revealing anything about yourself and this is a positive thing. Frame this in a way of feeling finally like you understand yourself. There are thankfully now so many resources available that may not have been even only ten years ago. If you are comfortable doing so, offer to answer any questions your partner may have. Relationships are always work and they always require communication, no matter what changes life brings.
Related Questions: I've just come to terms with being transgender. How do I come out to my girlfriend of many years?