Is it just me, or is the "break" part of spring break directed at teachers? I like to think of it as Spring It's-On!
We are out of town -- out of Chicago -- and in Los Angeles for the week. The good news is that I've found a kids club at a resort that allows non-guests to attend. The kids are there in the mornings from 9AM to 1PM. The other good news is that I have to stay on resort property while the kids are there. For a few hours every day, I get to soak in the ocean, the skies, the spa. It's nice. So I can't complain about that.
The hours from 1PM until 7PM are a different story. My nerves are on the fritz. I have been downing my acupuncturist's herbal prescription called "Free and Easy Wanderer -- PLUS" because the regular Free and Easy isn't strong enough. If this is what I'm like with Free and Easy, I don't want to know what I'm like without it!
I've had a lot of anger lately. Weird because I thought I did the whole anger thing once before. And anger is such a social no-no. Depression gets a lot of props and acceptance that it occurs. But anger? No. We're a country founded by Puritans, who probably liked to swallow a lot of their feelings.
I'm so angry, I want to scream, yell, and run nearly once a day. This isn't how spring break is supposed to feel! We're supposed to be this happy family with an occasional meltdown, but who generally enjoys exploring the sites. I need to let go of that image. It's so hard to let go. And part of me doesn't want to. I want to hold onto it and feel pissed that it's not happening to me!
I don't know. I think my last post was an angry one, too. I'm still mad, I guess. The good news is that after anger, I get to continue cycling around the never-ending process of grief. Up next: depression. That should be uplifting. Somebody get me off this ride!
Some have described depression (Hillman, "A Blue Flame") as anger turned inward. Maybe it's quite useful to send it the other way!
I'm sorry hon. That cycle is rough and miserable. I wish you were getting more of a break right now.
Right there with you - minus the resort and spa.