Well, here we are a few days before Christmas. I can't get excited. What is wrong with me???
Last night I went with my husband to a nice Italian Restaurant and the whole time I was there I watched people around us. Friends, family, married couples and singles . . . they seem to be having a nice time, but I just didn't feel like I belonged there. My heart was far, far away.
Back to thinking about how nice Christmas was when I was a little girl. It's just not the same now. My family is very small and I am the only one that cooks. I will prepare Christmas dinner for my two grown children, one grandson and my husband. I have shopped for the food, I will prepare the food and then my daughter will help me get the dishes in the dishwasher. My daughter (42) doesn't cook. . . my daugher in law is a vegan (basically won't eat anything I make). I refused to make Thanksgiving this year and consequently, we didn't get together at all. I am cooking because I want us to be together.
Everyone else in our family has passed away. Cousins, siblings, aunts and uncles. . . you name it. I try so hard to make it through this time of year. It just hurts that things are like this. I have tried to get together with a few friends and they are sooo busy with their families. I guess I'm mentally ill. I feel like I'm the only person that feels like this.
I hope anybody that reads this is having a wonderful Christmas. . .I just want to wake up after the fact.
I am GRATEFUL to have the free choice to NOT be around negative peeps/surroundings and am content to be by myself on this day, having exchanged a few unwrapped gifts (non/waste); dined with friends, enjoyed camaraderie and even hosted a week/long house guest who after a burglary in my driveway, needed support and housing. I enjoy hot coffee, tasty food in a warm/comfortable house and tomorrow I bounce out for recreation and camaraderie. Peace!
"Excitement" during the holidays? Children, yes. Adults are lucky when they can ENJOY and many endure and some, SUFFER.
I can't wait until January 2! I also do not like ANY of the holidays, that includes the 4th of July! No excuse.....no vitamin D deficiency......just me!
You are far from alone in having difficulty getting "up" for Christmas, but as I reflect on that very common sentiment at this time every year I suspect we have all been artfully manipulated into our respective funks.
I am not religious but I have usually been able to look beyond all the crass commercialism associated with this holiday of holidays and find enough peace and hope in the real meaning of Christmas, and in the traditional Christmas carols we all fondly remember,to carry me through.
This year however I am struggling mightily. I find the obscene need for profit at any cost disheartening almost beyond tolerance. It is damaging our sense of humanity and offering no alternative to fill the painful void, so I guess it is up to each one of us individually to take a stand against it all in whatever way we can.
The obvious answer is to stop buying unneeded "things" to give to each other, as most of us don't need such clutter anyway.
It is important to remember that there was a time in America when Christmas was simply Christmas, and perhaps it is not beyond all hope that it could be that way again.
We just welcomed our first and probably only grandchild into our family on August 30th, so she will be not quite four months old for Christmas. But in lieu of the usual money or gift cards our son and DIL have asked that we give them only children's books that they can begin to read to our precious Mazie Louise.
You are not alone! In our little rural area we have enough people to have a Blue Christmas service at a local church every year. It's for people who miss their family and friends and feel alone and sad.
My in-laws are a varied bunch, including vegans in the tribe. We do a potluck with the host family (it rotates) cooking a turkey and some of the sides. Vegan dishes are welcome, usually made by the vegans. You try what you want to. Nobody goes home hungry. Non-cooks can stop by the prepared foods counter at the supermarket and buy a dish. The act of eating together is really more important than what everyone eats.
Many of us are individuals who enjoy foods other than the flesh of some unfortunate animal. And KUDOS to those who enjoy their own company and avoid the dazed/glazed.
As an overachiever, I hosted a houseguest for a week and Sue left today and tomorrow I'll go for a social breakfast and COUNT MY BLESSINGS.
I have not heard from MY ONLY SON in eight months and just received a wedding invite from my ONLY GS I hadn't heard from in 36 months. Have NOT heard from my ONLY sister and brother in years.
I will spend the Holiday ALONE but I'll dig into gratitude for all my good fortune and celebrate with friends at the local Moose Lodge for breakfast on C/Eve.
I've exchanged gifts with a few friends and had a house guest for the past week and will enjoy the sunny California weather, steadfastly and stalwart IN THE NOW.
Nancy - I am positive you are not the only who feels nostalgic and sad around the holidays. I talk to many of my friends and they long for the old days with family, friends and traditions.
Having said that, however, we all have the freedom to make a choice. We can either accept the way it is now (with all its warts) and try to enjoy it or change the script.
So...if your daughter does not cook and your DIL is a vegan, perhaps have the holiday as one of preparing food together and having fun, especially since you have a grandson.
And are there traditions you can build for him, too? Maybe the family can do a crazy gift exchange or you can find some vegan recipes and try those, too. You may not think so, but you are fortunate to have loved ones around you, even if there are not that many. Many people have no one at all.
Now if you want to change the script totally, perhaps you can have a friend celebration after the holiday so you still feel festive and your friends will be done with family gatherings. And you might even talk to your family about how to make the celebration more fun.
We cannot go back to what used to be and as hard as it is, we must accept the now. Ask yourself honestly, are you making the holidays a downer for your family? If you are sad, is that rubbing off on the family and they just are not enjoying the event? Only you can answer that.
Wake up on Christmas this year and say "this will be a great day" and try to live that all day. I wish you a peaceful, reflective and happy holiday.
Please get a d3 test at your doctor and see if you need supplements, most of us do not get enough especially in Winter when the sun is low and there are clouds.
Please this comment is for everyone feeling sad especially this time of year.
Nancy I understand how you feel. I have a small family as well. My mom passed away Christmas day 2000. I knew then that I had to make a decision I could let this guide my reaction to Christmas after her death.
I told my myself my mom loved Christmas and always made it special for everyone. I had to carry on her legacy. It was difficult and I miss her dearly. She would have wanted me to celebrate and enjoy the holidays. I became a tag along and tried to make the day special. Now, I truly do enjoy the holidays. I try to keep involved and volunteer at the holidays. After all that is the reason for the season!
Christmas is not always a happy time for many.
I hope other retirees who feel the same way will chime in here. You are not alone.
Maybe a cookie baking night with friends?
A new church for new friends who want to spend time with you?
Fun christmas games to liven up the party?
Have a drink, have fun, SING a bit, and make them all think you are crazy! GRIN!
Wishing you the best on Christmas Day!
p.s. My sister is now Vegan, but she is having turkey and ham for our traditional dinner. She won't eat it but the rest of us certainly will!