Social Networking: Do You Need a Memory Upgrad . . . ?
Someone writes a comment, sends you IM, or walks up to you at a trade show and makes it clear he's met you before. He's acting like you're the best of friends. But you have no clue who the guy is.
Been there . . .
Do You Need a Memory Upgrade?
Does that mean we're losing our memory? It's probably not memory loss, but it could be sure sign that we need a memory upgrade. Forgetting people and information can be a seriously liability to success these days.
Relationships are build on experiences that went before. We have to remember the experiences for the relationships to move forward in a good way.
Here are three ways we forget . . .
Interference: New information can interfere with old information. Old information can also mix up with new information.
Distortion: When we have vivid recollections of events only to find later that the events happened differently.
We all have the power to rebuild our memories by doing simple things when we're learning new information.
Being fully present when you lrarn new things to keep old information separate from what you're learning. Don't be playing on Twitter the first time you use Plurk.
Break big blocks of information into smaller chunks. Practice one point on this list until you have it as a habit.
Involve as many modalities — visual, auditory, kinesthetic — as you can. See things. Talk about them. Touch them while you're at it.
Overlearn things by teaching someone else.
Apply the information quickly. When you're introduced, use the person's name immediately.
Repeat things that you think you might forget. 2+3=5, 2+3=5, 2+3=5 . . .
Debrief and retell important events with people who were part of them as soon as you are able. That was a fabulous podcast! Let's debrief on what happened!
Blog your experience. Last night I met Eric Benderoff at the blogger meetup hosted by Gas Pedal.
Doing what you can to "defrag" your brain is also a great idea.
First impressions are important as ever, but they sure lose their glow if on the second go we can't place the person we met.
Having a great memory is powerful way to demonstrate we value relationships. Everyone likes to be remembered. Nothing beats a second meeting that easily moves the first meeting forward. People respond when we invest in them — they invest back.
How do you keep your memory fast and functioning?
Click for more information on Memory and Information Processing.
Buy the ebook and find out the secret.
I forget my own phone number or even find myself saying "whatever your name is" to my kids. Yet I remember things much more vividly then most from my childhood. Nice post! I am printing this one out!
I remember this guy in college. Every time you met him in the hallway, he would shake your hand and say "Hey, (your name)." I used to think it was the geekiest thing. Of course, he is now the most successful person I know.
If you must attend multiple events in a week, write notes on the backs of business cards — even if the notes aren't business-related. I find the non-business notes help me recall a person more fully — what we talked about, their personality, etc. Then use those notes as means to follow up.
For example, one woman I met was reading a biography of Beatrix Potter. I remembered her saying she'd recently started reading biographies of American women authors. The follow-up e-mail I sent included recommendations and Amazon links to a couple of other books I thought she'd enjoy. An e-mail dialogue ensued from there.
Oh, I'm so bad at getting stuff from short-term to long-term storage! It's one reason I'm so wary of meeting new folks because it's embarrassing to keep saying, "Uh, what was your name again?" Off-putting, to say the least!
I experience "fading" all the time. I'll often speak with somebody on the phone and I'll ask their name, then a couple minutes later I'll have to ask them again when I start to write my notes.
It annoys me because I like to think I'm a good listener (or at least I try to improve my skill of listening on a constant basis) so when I totally forget things like a name just a couple minutes after learning it, it makes me feel like I've failed at listening. Very annoying.
I read a fantastic book recently by Derren Brown and it had a full chapter dedicated to memory. To remember names, I now associate something completely crazy and insane with that person. Maybe when I look at them I see an alien, or maybe their name sounds similar to a strange word. Whenever I see that person, I recall that strange image (because strange images stick in our mind better than a normal name) and it will ultimately lead me to that persons name.
After reading the chapter, I was able to remember lists of 10, 20 and even 30 items. Before I would really struggle to remember a 10 item list. Again, this is done by creating strange images and making a story out of all the words.
The MONKEY is now measuring and fitting a SUIT on a man in a store.
I am so good with faces but I could forget names easily. These tips would sure help me get be the best!!!
For some reasons I remember people's face better than their name. Is it categorized as fading, Liz?
I find it helps to limit the number of social networking sites (if you network online) to a few. Too much things and too much information make it harder to be fully present.
What a great point, Neil!
You always make things stronger. I agree. We need to limit our incoming information some. We can only meet and make so many relationships at a time.
Well, Larry, uh, I mean Robert!
I've done that same thing when I wasn't well-rested or when I was overwhelmed with information. I can surely sympathize. That's how I learned what to do.
I don't know what it means, but I do that too. I think Jamie's book and his comment might be helpful.
Really nice post. I have problem to remember names. Many times i get introduced to someone and after shaking his hand I don't remember what the persons' name was. That's funny how one can absorb some things much better that the others.
Thanks for sharing great strategies for a memory upgrade Liz. With all the bloggers we've met and keep meeting, we certainly need it. One tip I especially enjoyed was to link people with each other. For instance, when I first started coming to your blog, Chris Cree often wrote pieces for you, and I began to associate he and Sandy, the Purple Wren, with you. Sandy often wrote technology pieces about graphic software we'd enjoy. So I know this works!
Thanks for the link, Jamie!
I bet lots of folks will use it after reading this thread.
Next time try saying the name WHILE you shake hands. It could be that the kinesthetic response is interfering with your ability to transfer what you heard.