It's just . . . empty.
After my two-day liquidation sale, the house is emptier than it has ever been.
The result of my first liquidation sale.
I am surprised, pleasantly so, at how easy it is to see my stuff get distributed to others, particularly friends. There hasn't been even a moment of regret or sadness or longing or second thoughts, although I did get emotional describing what my dad's books have meant to me. Keep reading!
Who do I think I am, chucking my entire life, pretending I can travel the world for a year?
I can't even imagine how I'm going to deal with my stuff and figure out what to do with my house, let alone have enough money to live and work from the road. I'm 58 years old, for Pete's sake. I give up. I'm not going.
These thoughts pass through my mind whenever I think of everything I need to get done to realize my dream of traveling around the world for 365-ish days. And the more I read other world travelers' blogs, the more I realize that this is perfectly normal, this not-knowing-what's-going-to-happen fear, this there-are-so-many-things-to-do/plan/decide/buy overwhelm.
Yesterday I was feeling that overwhelm in a pretty major way. My mind whirled with the myriad details of what travel bag to choose, which walking shoes to buy, whether I should sell or rent my house, what to keep and where to keep it, how I'm going to manage mail, how I'm going to deal with taxes, and on and on and on . . .
Then I remembered about lists.
Before I started hyperventilating, I grabbed a pencil and notepad and began writing down everything that was streaming through my mind like a high-def Bruce Willis action movie. A peaceful calm immediately started trickling through my manic brain. Oh, right, I thought. At this age I have tools to deal with fears, anxiety, and overwhelm. I just have to remember what they are and how to use them when I need them most.
I realized then that I actually had a list of lists constantly running in the back of my mind. I am astounded that I had not yet started a real, physical, long-term list of things I need to do/research/buy before I go. So now I have the beginning of my list of lists and a place to jot down all the random thoughts that come into my head when I read a blog about dealing with taxes while traveling or what mail service to use.
Here is the very beginning of my list of lists: Keep reading!
You have to take that shirt.
You wear it almost every day. It's your favorite one. It goes with everything.
And your favorite pair of jeans. How could you NOT take those? You live in them.
Everything is laid out in perfect stacks on the bed, travel bag nearby, its gaping maw wide open, laughing at you.
You look at your stuff. You look at your bag.
You do this two, three, four more times. Every time you look at your stuff, there's more. Every time you look at your bag, it's smaller. You wonder, how can I possibly pack everything into a carry-on bag?
How many times have you traveled with an over-full bag—or, worse yet, multiple bags—because you just didn't know how you'd feel each day/what the weather would be/which soirees you might be invited to, so you had to take several options?
Remember when you had to step aside at the airport check-in counter and try to get your checked bag under the weight limit? You were frustrated, not to mention embarrassed, at having to pull out your clothes and shampoo and shoes and try to figure out what you could take out and shove into your carry-on bag.
All that careful packing gone to waste, and when you arrived, everything was balled up and wrinkled and nothing was where you put it in all that careful packing you did to make sure everything fit.
You swore you would never over-pack again. Well, didn't you? Keep reading!
I might as well explain . . .
Once upon a time a couple of years ago, I felt old, overweight, constantly fatigued, and had given in to the idea that I would never again be healthy and vibrant. Then my gut (and I) got really sick, and I couldn't ignore it any more. Something had to be done. I did what most of us do when we want information: I Googled it.
What I found truly and forever changed my life. After weeks of research, I came across Mark's Daily Apple, a blog about the Primal/Paleo way of eating and fitness. (The Primal Blueprint is the version of Paleo that I use and one that has really worked for me.) I had always tried to eat well, so it wasn't a stretch to eliminate grains, dairy, sugar, and processed foods from my diet.
In three weeks my brain fog lifted and my energy returned in full force. I had forgotten what it was like to feel so good. Within a few months I was hiking three to four miles 5 days a week, had lost 25 pounds, and felt more fit and healthy than I had in at least twenty years. People were asking me what I'd done. I started a Primal potluck group. I attended PrimalCon. I adopted Darryl Edwards' ideas in his book Paleo Fitness. In short, I changed my lifestyle and changed my life. Keep reading!