"I met my wife, Kate in 1965 when I was 20 and in college. We courted and fell in love and were married in 1967, a little over 45 years ago. Before we were married, I knew that Kate suffered from depression – she told me and I could see it in her comportment. I thought that what she needed was an environment with security, support, and love – I thought that I could provide those things for her. I thought I could help her become well and overcome her depression.
I was wrong. Her depression continued. We sought many different types of help from psychiatrists, psychologists, marriage counselors, pastors, friends and family. None were able to cure her. She remained depressed most of the time, and would occasionally "fall off the wagon" into a deep, deep depression that would typically last for over a month.
We were referred to Dr Saad Shakir, a very well respected psychiatrist in our area. Kate became Dr Shakir's patient in 2005 and he immediately got to work concocting a drug cocktail to treat Kate's illness. He also insisted that we continue with talk therapy, and we found a therapist, Deborah Minowitz MFT, with whom we are very comfortable and happy.
It was a compromise between the benefits of the drugs and their side effects which were substantial. But Kate was always right on the edge of her abyss. As it became clear that things were not going to get a lot better, Dr Shakir began to talk to us about a new treatment for depression: TMS or Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation that had been approved by the FDA in 2008.
A normal course of TMS treatment involves about thirty 45 minute sessions on the TMS machine spread over 6 to 8 weeks. We got to session 20 or so and Kate did not feel that anything had changed or become better. But I had noticed a difference at about session 15 – Kate was becoming more "present", she seemed less drugged, more animated, and she was able to concentrate a bit better. But it took 30 sessions for Kate to feel that she was changed and better.
"For 17 years, I thought I was meant to be depressed.
I tried Celexa, which kinda worked but with side effects. Zoloft, worked better but with worse sexual side effects. Wellbutrin, hardly worked.
I was misdiagnosed bipolar and had been put on 600 mg (!) Seroquel, zyprexa, lamictal, depakote, latuda, clonazepam.
I was at a loss and had to go home to my parents for two months, where I tried committing suicide 3 times and couldnt function socially or financially or sleep of my own volition. I was one of many Effexor victims–it had killed my libido (and did for 7 months total) and I was at a total loss–dystonia, dysphoria. Finally, 1.5 years into the worst (of 3) depressive episodes, Dr. Shakir said, let's test you to see what your body will respond to best. We did the Pharma test and found that I had 4 drugs in the green. I started to ween onto my eventual 40 mg Viibryd and ween off the other 4 drugs in 1.5 months. Within that amount of time, my mind started shifting–the clouds began to disappear. In 3 months, my libido had roared back and my career was flourishing.
Now, i am an incredibly astute and successful personal trainer, I am about to be a blue belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, my girlfriend who stuck by me through the whole episode says "I am SOOOOO glad that you made it back to us–better than ever and happier than I have ever seen you." My relationships are overwhelmingly solid and growing in number and connection daily. I am working to be the best: personal trainer, BJJ artist, kit drummer on stage, opera singer, boyfriend, friend, brother, son anyone has ever seen.