YOU ARE NOW TUNED INTO SESH RADIO
Ladies and gentlemen this is, uh, the lead programmer of Sesh Radio, Flex Carmichael here. Uh, we have some very unfortunate news, um. Our dear brother and friend, Chip Kipperly, has passed this afternoon and um, you know were all gonna mourn for him, but were gonna-- were gonna listen to this tape like he would want us to. Remember the good times. Because that’s what he would want. Rest in peace Kip
We’re gonna miss you buddy
Alright, Flex, we’re going live in 3.. 2.. 1..
Uh, we’re gonna go ahead and pass this over to my man, um, he’s a new intern here. He’s gonna be taking over and he’s gonna tell you guys what’s going on with the weather. Go ahead
How’s it going everybody? This is Gavin, the intern, testing out and trying the new equipment we have here at Sesh Radio, I’m gettin’ the hang of things. Lot of knobs, lot of... new… it’s a lot of stuff I’m-- honestly, I’m not really used to equipment like this. Hold on…
 Hear me? 
 Do you hear me?
 The sound is completely fucked up. All the inputs are fucked
 Gavin, what-- What’d you fuck up Gavin?
SORRY, WE ARE EXPERIENCING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES
PLEASE STAND BY FOR PAID PROGRAMMING 2
PLEASE STAND BY FOR PAID PROGRAMMING 2
Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for your patience. We’re gonna bring you a new record from Ricky A Go-Go, called The Countdown. 5... 4... 3... 2... Now play it, Ricky A Go-Go Countdown
Lemme tell you like this
I dont care if you moving bricks
I pay no mind if you trying to speak
You ruin the lives of everybody you meet
And everybody you don’t, people down the street
Turn your neighborhood into a place for creeps
But soon you will see how they make the beat
When its time for me to leave and you forever to sleep
Times running out
I fear it now
Im counting down
4- 3- 2- 1
Times running out
I fear it now
Im counting down
4- 3- 2
Until the end of time
Come dance with me
Come dance with me, oh, until the end of time
Come dance with me
Come dance with me, oh, until the end of time
Come dance with me
Come dance with me, oh, until the end of time
COMING SOON TO SESH TV
Robber 1: Alright mane in and out mane, no casualties this time, alright?
Robber 2: Yeah yeah I know, just keep the car runnin, go on
Gimme all the fuckin money or Ill blow your fuckin brains out!
Roach: Hey, down here. How you doin tough guy? The names Roach. Get on the fuckin ground scumbag
Coming this winter, its the insect with all the moves, Roach, private eye. Cockroach detective
DJ Fondle-Em-Good: Hello out there, you are listening to the Swank the Swank Hour with DJ Fondle-Em-Good and today, were gonna pick up where we left off. Im gonna take some phone calls. Give a little advice and whatnot and what-have-you. Mmhmm. You know the number. Give me a call at 213-888-2202. Whats that? All righty, okay. Lets get it going. Caller, youre on the line
Roy: Hey, am I-- am I on the air?
DJF: Ye- yeah youre on the air man
Roy: Oh okay. Hey this is Roy out of Wichita
DJF: Hows it going Roy?
Roy: And uh--hey, hows it going, Fondle-Em?Thanks
DJF: Im doing all right man, Im doing all right. You?
Roy: Glad to be a guest. Um, uh, I have to tell you man, my son called in for some advice the other day and I didnt really appreciate the advice you gave him
DJF: Well, uh, maybe you shouldve gave him the advice, motherfucker
Roy: I-I mean, I dont know why he called you and he didnt call me, I dont know man, but, maybe--
DJF: Get the hell off my line
Roy:Okay Fondle-Em
DJF: Playing around and whatnot man, next caller
Roy: Hey, w-w--
Caller 2: Hello? Hello? Am I really on? DJ Fondle-Em!
DJF: Man, get the hell of my dick and get off my line
Caller 2: 
DJF: Somebody gettin fired today. Didnt I tell yall to get him off my line? Playing around, man
For our next segment, we gonna do a crowd favorite, mmmmhmm, uh-mmhmm. You know what to do. Call in, ask me what you wanna ask me and Ima give you my honest opinion because dammit, thats the only opinion I give. Mm
Caller 3: Fondle-Em bro, long time listener here man. Hey, check it out man, if I ever see you man Im gonna shit the bed all over myself bro, I swear to you on everything bro. Anyway, I really appreciate what youre doing out there, out there in the states and all that, and uh, again, we-we-youve got a big fanbase out here, believe it or not bro. Fondle-Em bro, the mm-hmm or the mm-mm, bro. I really appreciate that, that segment man, we dont have that type of slang out here, and its really catching on bro, like I-I talk to my, my comrades, and bwubwubwuh I swear to God, bro, they said mmhmm and I thought about you, and--
DJF: You got three seconds, man
Caller 3: Anyway, my mmhmm on the hmmhmm for today is, fucking... you know when you first meet the girl, and then she wants to, you dont know whos gonna buy who lunch, man, you know what I mean? What do you do in that event, what do you do? I know what I would do, but what would you do, bro? Thank you
DJF: Listen, first of all, I dont even go on dates man, so thats a nmmm-mmm. And, secondly, you know the rules man. Make it quick and to the point. No long winded explanations and run-on sentences and all this extra hibbity-hoo. My time is valuable. And, you all know that so why am I...? See, look at, you, you affecting me now, man, Im pulling one of your moves. Im all out of whack, so Ima go ahead and call it a night. Its always a pleasure to have you tuning in to Fondle-Em FM. Signing off is your host, Fondle-Em-Good, and Ill see you next time, baby
AND NOW, A WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS
Down to the ground, pussy! You are a fucking maggot if Ive ever seen one, get your ass up! Up! Up! Up! God, youre disgusting! Youre looking like some sort of pussy. Come on now, I need you to go up. Down, hold it, up, all around, act like youve got some peaches in between your legs boy, come on!
I remember my first day I was on the other end of that. Coach rolled me so hard I threw up. And then I had to clean it up, cause thats what lackeys have to do. You have to start off at the bottom of the food chain and then climb up like me. Now the guys help me with forms, and Im one of the fellas that are drinking muscle milk. You dont believe me? Heres a word from the guys.
Brad: This is Brad
Travis: And this is Travis
Brad: And together we run--
: IRON GAINS GYM
Brad: When I met Travis fours years ago, Travis was a disgusting pig. Am I right, Travis?
Travis: Its true, I was a disgusting pig. And when I met Brad, he turned my life around. I couldnt even get a girl to look my way
Brad: And now, youre bumping uglies with at least five chicks every night, right?
Travis: Every night. I cant keep em away
Brad: If thats not motivation, then I dont know what is
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Brad: Right off the South 9-5 freeway, three easy payments of 7 dollars and 95 cents, open 23 hours a day, call 714-818-3292. So come and join us, tell em Brad--
Travis: And Travis!
Brad: --Sent ya
REST IN PEACE KIP CHIPPERLY
HEAVEN GAINED ANOTHER ANGEL
GOODNIGHT SWEET PRINCE
Hey, its you guy SmittyBG here. Bouta teach you guys how to, um, cook some waffles with ol Smitty. Heh. So yeah, what you do is um, you get the, uh, batter. You put it in the waffle maker by uh, Sesh Corporations. And yeah, you put it in there, you wait about a good five minutes. Let it steam up real quick. Take it out, and then you got some, um, clean-pressed waffles. Yup, nice and buttery, ready to go in your mouth. So yeah. If you need any more tips, call here at Sesh Radios, and the number is 333-3331. So, um, yeah. Now, um... take it back to Rick here for some more smooth sounds on Sesh Radio
I could stay around for you
I will stay a while with you
Just give me the go
Baby, I know how it go
You know I go with the flow
, Im sure
I could stay around for you
I will stay a while with you
Just give me the go
Baby, I know how it go
You know I go with the flow
, Im sure
Come down to Woodleys Logs. We got... a deal goin on this weekend. Ten logs for ten dollars. You can use it to burn in your house, or you could burn it in your backyard, or you could burn it in your car. Should be an easy decision. You have no choice but to come to Woodleys Logs. Right around the corner
NOW FOR YOUR LOCAL FORECAST
Hey guys, Drew Donahue here, with the weather. Just wanna say that its-- its good to be here right now. All cross the board, its-- its pretty hot, man. So, I hope you got your sun cream, I hope youre-- youre in the shade, and, uh, just tryna stay cool out there. Uh, yknow, wh-- what I like to do when its really hot is I just like to sit in the house, boom that A/C, yknow? And uh, just make a few phone calls. Call my friends and family, and say Hey, yknow, how you doin today, man? And-- and-- yknow? I dont wanna take up too much of your time. Like I said, it doesnt matter where the hell you are right now. Huh, scuse my French. Its just hot, man, yknow? Wow. Its a scorcher. Ive never seen anything like it in my thirty years of weather. Youre probably wondering who the hell I am. Never heard of me, but... you get used to me. Im, um, Im the guy now. Rest in peace, Kip-- Chip. Chip Kipperly was his name, I think
bagpipes playing
No! Stop it, we dont need the fucking bagpipes--
bagpipes stop
--right now
I didnt say that
bagpipes continue, then stop
Wanna fucking do the thing right now?
bagpipes continue
Well do--
bagpipes stop
Well do the memorial right now
bagpipes continue
Kip was a great friend of mine. gonna share? Were gonna pass the fuckin shit around the studio? Well do this later
Okay
beep
Billy Van Robinson: Well, hows it going out there? Its Billy Van Robinson from Sesh Radio. Just wanna say thanks to all our listeners out there, tuning in. Hope you have a stellar Tuesday afternoon. Before we carry on, we got a good friend of mine here today to show you his companys new product. Say, Robert, why dont you fill them in?
Robert: Well, Billy, Im here to talk to you ladies and gentlemen about the best and strongest truck nuts on the market today. We call em Uncle Rickys Swangin Stinkies, and theyll be available at practically any store you go to. Make sure you pick em up, cause these babies are beautiful. We got green, blue, yellow, chrome, red, and now, RealTree Camo nuts. So go get you some. Thanks for having me on the show, Billy. Appreciate you
Billy: Yeah, dont mention it, Robert. It was nice havin you. Now were gonna return to Sesh Radio. Thanks, everyone
Hello, friends. Have you recently lost someone near and dear to your soul? Dont fret. Because now, you can take them everywhere, with the Stein brothers new... Ouija Watch. Heres a few testimonials
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Ladies and gentlemen, this is your boy, DJ Stinky Nuts with the ones and twos. Just wanted to say thank you on behalf of the Sesh corporate broadcasting team here at S-E-S-H Radio. Thank you for joining us to host this beautiful broadcast. We have two more things on the agenda for tonight. We have another word from one of our sponsors. And also, we have a moment of silence that we are going to indulge in for our brother Kip
bell rings twice
Hello. Light the way with brand light bulbs. We promise to always show you the way and guide you to your destination-- wherever it may be. You can find us on the corner of Kirth Avenue and Boulevard in Los Angeles. Well make you feel right at home
THANK YOU FOR LISTENING TO SESH RADIO