I remember when I was like 12, I twisted a testicle. Was sitting in math class, when all of a sudden I get this horrible fucking pain in my left nut.

So I say I'm sick, and they call my mom. Mom comes, asks whats wrong...
"My....Ermm.....*looks down* ..hurts"

"Did you sit on it?"

"What?! ..?"

Anyways, she takes me to the hospital, and thats the story how I got my left nut removed.