My wife looked me in the eyes and told me, "Look at me.  I'm not fucking kidding here.  Hair and makeup is expensive.  If you push cake in my face, I will introduce that cake knife to your balls.  I'm serious, ok?  No, don't laugh.  I'm fucking serious.  You put cake in my face and it's over for you."

I didn't put the cake in her face.  It's been a pretty sweet 3 years so far.