,question,subreddit,post_id,score,link_flair_text,is_self,over_18,upvote_ratio,C1,C2,C3,C4,C5
0,Is it normal if I want to bottom?,r/TopsAndBottoms,jo7yt2,10,,True,True,0.76,Completely normal.. I'm about the same and I didn't start playing until I was 50.. it's been all fun... So just enjoy yourself..,"Bottoming is normal, almost to the point of being the default in the gay community","Same here. Although, I don't want to be normal. I want to be special.",If you’re doing what makes you happy and you’re not hurting someone else? You are completely normal. Enjoy yourself and have fun.,"Yep you are normal. I love my arse fillled. First off I would go to your STI clinic. Here in the UK you can get hep A/B , HPV injections and PREP (protect against HIV) on the NHS. You would be mad not to protect yourself."
1,Is it normal to cum whilst getting fucked?,r/TopsAndBottoms,6u4gke,27,,True,True,0.86,"Cumming while getting fucked is the best orgasm you can have. Jerking off afterwards is not that fun, but cumming in the process is so freaking awesome specially if you don't touch yourself down there at all.

So yeah - it's normal. But I don't suggest using craigslist, too much weirdos and dangerous people there. And before meeting talk a bit with a guy, say what you want to do and do not want.",[deleted],I hope you're not planning to see this guy again. This story is full of red flags. Get tested regularly and don't let another stranger cum in you without permission (ALWAYS talk about that (or about your lack of experience) beforehand.),"It's pretty rare to cum without touching yourself, just by getting fucked. Lots of guys have to practice to make it happen. It's only happened for me a few times, all with the same guy who was a hookup buddy a few years ago...and never since! Consider yourself lucky! And hang with that guy again!",If you cum from getting fucked then you definitely enjoyed it. Yes Craigslist hookups are like this. But damn that was hot. I'm horny now. 
2,Is it normal to be a cumdump? 🤔,r/TopsAndBottoms,la9a1w,41,,True,True,0.98,"It’s *perfectly* normal to need it and crave it.

Sometimes I’m good with one of my regulars; other times, it seems like I just straight up go into full blown heat once I’ve got a load inside me.  

Because my job entails lots of travel, I’ve spent *days* doing Grindr, A4A and BBRTS hookups in one city, then driving a few hours and doing the same somewhere else.  I’ve been played with and used til my body was bruised, my pussy was inside out and kept going til I physically couldn’t use my hole anymore, because I *desperately* needed the semen.  Of course that’s only happened a few times, but sometimes the urges are literally uncontrollable.

Being a whore is my nature, and I suspect yours is, too.",Everything that is consensual and does not impede your functioning otherwise is “normal”. You do you.,">Is this normal?

Who cares? It's certainly ***common***. Anything that enough people are into to have a name is pretty fucking common.",Same. The more cocks and loads in me the better.,"I've definitely find that a lot of bottoms go through periods of being ""in heat"" versus not.

I think it's a few things: natural hormonal and body fluctuations, boredom, stress, etc.

From a pragmatic perspective, it can often be annoying to find a good guy on grindr, but leave for a few months and come back and it feels very new (as well as literally brand new people). And then you have an experience or two, remember why you enjoyed being used, so you do it over and over again for a short while. And then it starts become normal and worry builds up around diseases or safety or just figuring out if it's all you want. And so you stop.

Very normal."
3,Is it normal for a top to have the urge to suck cocks?,r/TopsAndBottoms,jocmfo,0,,True,True,0.5,What do you mean normal? Being top does not exclude sucking kissing or shit. Get over the bs limits.,"
Some of your assumptions need debunking.

1) It's not submissive to suck a dick.

2) Being a top is not equivalent to being dominant.

Being a so-called ""top"" doesn't stop you from being submissive or from sucking dick. Being a ""top"" just means that, when it comes to anal sex, you prefer fucking rather than being fucked. *That's all it means.* It doesn't say anything about whether you like sucking dicks or not, it doesn't say anything about whether you're dominant or submissive, it only says you like fucking. Everything else is open to whatever you want to do. 

I hate how these stupid stereotypes have infiltrated this subreddit. I don't see it anywhere else - especially not in real life. But people in this subreddit have built up some stupid ideas about what ""top"" and ""bottom"" mean.","Yeah man, you like dudes. Dudes have penis, and it is tasty. The conceptions of culture and psychology are not so different. I'm top and I love sucking dick. I will also bottom for the right guy. Being gay includes all these things.","I'm a top and I like sucking dick. I don't care if it's ""normal"" or not.","Most tops suck dick. It is only in the fantasy world of this subreddit sometimes that it may seem abnormal. Outside of some specific BDSM kink play, it's the norm that gay and bi men like to suck cock regardless of their roles on insertion. The ones who don't are the outliers. (And that's fine too.)

There's no need to read more into it and no need, unless it's your specific kink, to try to wrap dominance or submission into it."
4,Is it normal for my butt to tingle when i am aroused,r/TopsAndBottoms,kvkaqx,21,,True,True,1.0,"Totally normal. 

My ass will tingle when I just want cock. It will feel like I’m in heat. I will actually feel my ass tingle more than my cock and I love that feeling as it taps into my sub bottom psyche.",Completely normal. That's just your nerves anticipating what you know you want.,Without a doubt!,I've been talking to a guy with a beautiful cock and seeing it and thinking about it makes my hole twitch.,Meth or coke will do that to me. Makes my ass tingle an needy for anal.
5,Is it normal to be attracted to the same kind of guy who used to bully you?,r/TopsAndBottoms,jtix5y,20,,True,True,0.87,"I'm a Dom top, and super into the psychology of kink, and have found any bullied kids to fall into two categories:

* They *despise* the bullies still, to the point where I've had a guy stop messaging me because he was like ""Sorry, you look way too much like my high-school bully""
* They hate it, but they do find themselves drawn to it. There's sometimes a few reasons for this: submissive and drawn to that feeling of being humiliated, or perhaps their bully was sexually aggressive during a very formative time.

It's like the watered down version of rape victims who seek out dangerous situations/partners, in order to either relive, or reclaim, the experience.",Gay men often eroticize their oppressors.  It’s why frat boys and military guys and police and construction workers are such big parts of the canon of gay jerk-off subjects.,"In some ways, yes, I think I am attracted to the kind of rough guys that were a terror for me at school.

I am always attracted to guys who are stronger than me and I like them hairy (which no kid at school was going to be). 

I really get off on being overpowered.","No fucking way. There's a distinct difference between confident/dominant, and just being a bullying, abusive arsehole.",I hate those kind of guys.
6,Is Anal mucous/discharge during anal normal?,r/TopsAndBottoms,dvw7wg,8,,True,True,0.84,It is normal for how you frame it. Now I would say  after 48 hours of non anal sex it’s still happening then go see a doctor.,That discharge is from a gland near the anus and is intended to lubricate stool so it comes out normal. Maybe you just have a high production or are sensitive to having some forced out.,Hey do you know what the reason was ?,,
7,Is it normal to pee while getting fucked?,r/TopsAndBottoms,jtiwgs,64,,True,True,0.95,I've looked this up and it sounds like its prostatic fluid. The same thing happens to me. I can pee and get fucked immediately after and will be spraying buckets within 5 minutes. It's pretty great,I’ve had guys pee themselves after pounding them into another dimension and yes it’s hot while it’s happening but afterward I’m just like ew get the fuck off of me bro and clean up.,Sounds hot as fuck. If he isn't into it a bunch of other people are.,"It only happens to me if I've already ""conventionally"" cum 2x or more already. My BF is into it, because he gets off on knowing that he's fucked me to the point of me ""squirting"". It really gets him going if I ""beg"" him to stop so I don't pee, but he keeps going (all consensual).
We aren't otherwise into ""water-sports"",  but the aspects of control and domination in this case is what excites us, him especially.","It might not have been urine. But even if it was it just happens sometimes. Its not unheard of.

If the dude is grossed out by it, don't see him again. Sex is intimate, don't let anyone make you feel ashamed or embarrassed about any of it. Plenty of guys understand and would be okay with it in the future. Hell a lot would fucking love it."
8,Is it normal to bleed a little every time I use a particular dildo?,r/TopsAndBottoms,hdp38p,12,,True,True,1.0,"Not normal or safe, no, especially if this isn't the first time. People often ignore this but it causes scarring and can do worse, even lead to some nasty illnesses.

Would strongly suggest you keep an eye on your diet (not too much heavy fat and acid, plenty of fibre) and also use much more lube. Much more; it should feel as if it is too much. Also may need to work your way up to the one you use now with smaller toys and ensure you hydrate well. If all of that doesn't help, you may need to be checked for old injuries or some other cause. Never take rectal bleeding lightly.

Stay safe, dude x","Not normal. Along with the other advice (lube and working up to the size of your toy by using smaller toys first), also check your toy(s) for damage. 

A small cut/nick, rough spot or tiny fleck of lifted material could be a cause. Damage can be caused from using cleaning products that are too harsh on the material used to make the toy or incorrect storage.

Also rinse your toy before use to get rid of any debris that may collect on it while stored (think fluff, hair, dust, etc). While not essential, it is just an extra precaution you can take.

If it continues you may need to find a new toy or make a visit to a doctor to discuss.","Not normal. I have had this problem in the past. Either use way more lube and be nicer to yourself, or don't use that one.","Dildos are not supposed to be unyielding.... Your rectum has twists and turns, so the dildo needs to be able to bend to follow then around. While a little blood can be normal, I think this is caused by the dildo being inflexible, so you need an other.","Bleeding and pain is never normal. If you’re bleeding, you already have either inflamed hemorrhoids or fissure type tearing. While hemorrhoids may shrink on their own or with preparation H, improperly healed fissure causes skin tags that leads to chronic pain or retreating every-time you stretch your anus during sex or from a large poop. If you have this happening more than a month, it’s time to see a colorectal surgeon."
9,Is it normal to fart a lot the day after I use dildo?,r/TopsAndBottoms,fm0zzw,7,,True,True,0.82,"yes, you're thrusting air into your rectum where it doesn't belong. It's the same reason women queef",Anal sex kind of gives you a different perspective on flatulence. I personally have an asmr to sex sounds and I think if you're practically cleaned out you can have allot of fun with it. I love the sound of my ass being plunged of air by a big dick.,Yes your ass is going to fart even with a real dick pounding you,,
10,Is it normal to be super horny for weeks at a time?,r/TopsAndBottoms,di7ap8,12,,True,True,0.89,"How to fix? Masturbate or have sex. I always seem to go in cycles in terms of libido, sometimes 3 weeks of it happens, sometimes more, and I do masturbate regularly.",Have sex. Your body needs the full body release that comes with another person. Masturbation on activates your cock and your body wants the Oxytocin you are depriving it.,I would say masterbating or fucking someone is the best way. Since you dont like the former I suggest fucking.,"I don't know but when I'm depressed I get extremely horny. I just want to fuck anything.

I guess it's cos I'm not getting irl action either so the horniness just increases",
11,Is it normal to ride a dildo with a full bladder?,r/TopsAndBottoms,e4li94,32,,True,True,0.98,"No, but I like binding some of my bois, fill them with an enema and then fucking them full.  It feels neat and they whine and moan but after I cum the relief they get is immense while they clean my cock.","I sometimes jack off with a full bladder. Feels intense.

Once edged for ages while having a full bladder, kept having little very pleasure able mini orgasms where a bit of pee would come out.

Felt so good when I finally let myself cum.",I can imagine how nice that would feel!,I’d be into it... with the real thing instead of a dildo. 😏,Haven't done that before but sounds fun.
12,Is it normal to be a 6'2 bottom?,r/TopsAndBottoms,2bbivy,12,,True,True,0.85,"I'm 6'5"" and about 80% bottom...I haven't had any trouble with it, and a lot of shorter guys I've been with thought it was really fucking hot to fuck a guy so much taller than them.

The only problem is that I have this fantasy about being totally dominated by a guy much taller and bigger than me - huge muscles, just a physical giant compared to me.  But, since I'm so tall, I doubt I'll ever find a guy who fills that criteria.  Oh well, getting fucked by a guy any size is still pretty awesome.","I'm 6'6"" and about 99% bottom. 

When someone says I'm too tall to be a bottom I just laugh and move on. I have zero interest in interacting with that person further really if they're that set in their ways.","I am 6'2'' bottom. I have tons of top guys itching to get in my rear. 

You can be 6'2'' and still he hot as fuck to tops. ","Nah, I've fucked tall bottoms. I think it's all about attitude. For me, the biggest turn on in a bottom is eagerness to take cock. Height don't matter ",I'm 6'2 and a total bottom
13,Is it normal to like watching straight people fuck?,r/TopsAndBottoms,i2dldi,157,,True,True,0.93,"Porn is weird. People enjoy the thought of being eaten. So seriously dont look too hard into it. 

If the thought of having sex with a woman yourself isnt arousing, you arent bisexual. Maybe you are into cuckolding or just find watching others having sex irl exciting.","I have the same! With surprisingly similar types of straight porn- I love cuck and creampie porns. It’s hot watching the guys go to town, and I can sortof envision myself in the scenarios. 
As a note, I’m really 100% gay and 100% bottom.",I just like watching people fuck,"Honestly if you’re not aroused by the woman in the porn that you are viewing and have no desire to be with said woman, you probably aren’t bisexual at all. I think what turns you on is the fact what the male is getting pleasure if that makes sense? Him getting off gets you off because you’re focusing on his pleasure rather than the woman’s pleasure.",">Hopefully, I'm not bisexual.

What? It's lovely."
14,Is it normal to be 19 and hook up with a 51 year old?,r/TopsAndBottoms,iowj65,19,,True,True,0.86,"It's very common for a gay  couple to have a 10 or 20 year age gap. If you're 19, 20 years would be 38, so he's 13 years older than it would be normal for you to *date*.

That said, you're not talking about dating, you're talking about *having sex*. When I was your age I had sex with an older man I was hot for, and only afterward did he tell me he was 78. I really didn't care, it was sex. I wasn't planning on keeping him.

So, go for it, and it's none of your friends' business.","Go for it. But stay vigilant because sometimes much older guys will try to coerce young guys by taking advantage of their inexperience. (Even if you don’t think of yourself as being inexperience, by definition from the simple fact of being 19, you are.) If he starts saying things like “I know/promise I’m clean,” “I’ve never felt this way about anyone before,” “I’ve don’t usually do this but...” those should be flashing warning signs.",I was that guy. Until I was 23 I never hooked up with anyone my age. It was pretty good sex.,Bit of a fantasy to be taken by a much older guy,/r/GayYoungOld
15,Is the idea that there are way more bottoms than tops a myth or true?,r/TopsAndBottoms,ljwdws,29,,True,True,0.9,"A lot of guys are just vers and don’t want to admit to liking the dick.  I can’t tell you *how* many guys beg me to top them, even though all my profiles and my interactions tell them that I’m 1000% bottom.","I think it's a myth for the most part. Someone posted a study here or on one of the other gay sex subreddits that showed top and bottom were fairly balanced. It was like 30%'ish were bottoms, 25%'ish were tops, and the majority were versatile at least on occasion. I'm sure some areas may seem balanced one way or another overall. Bi men may also cause it to be a bit off balance as many only want to bottom with men since they can top with women. 

In my personal experience there is no real imbalance. When I was solely a top it seemed everyone I talked to or met were tops. When I became more amenable to bottoming some, it seemed everyone was a bottom. There tends to be a lot of confirmation bias in things like this.","I think it's regional. Though bottom shame is legit, and I've met some tops who're nice people, but suffering from deep sexual repression.","Myth. The numbers are probably pretty even. Maybe more tops than bottoms, actually, considering the prevalence of internalized homophobia that views bottoming as “really *really* gay” and topping as “‘no homo’,“ so a lot of ‘straight’ guys don’t wanna bottom.

Some of us gays perpetuate the myth too, whenever we complain about a hookup with a vers guy who’d planned on topping us, but couldn’t get it up bc we weren’t actually his type, just a desperate Grindr hookup, so we topped him instead, and then typed out a bitchy rant on Twitter or Reddit or wherever about how “vers top = bottom” and everybody retweets or upvotes because it’s practically a meme now. But it isn’t accurate.",Myth. Anyone who says that there aren’t enough tops really means “there aren’t enough tops who are into me”
16,Is it normal to feel pressure to be a top?,r/TopsAndBottoms,kjuvaj,105,,True,True,0.93,"I have that problem, I was dating the perfect bottom, this amazing guy, but because he was straight before me and never had any relationship with a guy we broke up 💔","I completely understand what you are going through. Society has ridiculously high expectations for men. It is only acceptable if a Man takes charge,  sleeps with women and abhors homosexuality. That thought has been ingrained in our minds through one way or the other. 

When I first discovered all these things,  I felt guilty after nutting to gay or sissy porn. I somehow got influenced (through both life and porn) to think less of myself. I was and still am conscious about not being muscular enough or not having a huge cock. 

Men like us need to be confident in our own skin. We need to accept our flaws. We need to feel that's it's okay if you fantasize about the same sex. 

It is okay to like both Men and Women.","I think you can't rationalize these things. I tried to do this as well, or better said I was encouraged to think in this way (Am I attracted to other guys because I want to be like them?). It was disastrous. There is no logic behind sexuality ... Being gay or straight is biological, so it's not something that can be changed. It's part of who you are. I think it's the same with top vs bottom vs vers, at least it seems so to me.

That being said, you're right, there is some pressure even within the gay community against total bottoms. You can be top, that's fine, or vers, that's also ok because you're flexible. It's a societal thing. In more traditional cultures, the top is not even considered gay...","Hey dude, you're not alone, your post describes the way I have felt, and feel now. 

I, like you, am a traditional tall ""masculine-looking"" guy, but I'm not packing much in the penis department. I used to think my dick wasn't big enough for anyone to enjoy, but experience has shown me that isn't true. At first I thought I was pigeonholing myself, but in a way I was also using my small dick as an excuse make myself feel okay about bottoming.","It's the ultimate closet. 

Is the most un-straight thing"
17,Is performance anxiety normal?,r/TopsAndBottoms,jb6fhh,95,,True,True,1.0,"Sounds like mostly an anxiety issue. Trust me, buddy, it’s happened to all of us from time to time. Maybe try hosting them instead so you’re in a more comfortable location. One less thing to worry about. Like you said, some added foreplay could get you in the right mood. Grindr hookups/casual sex can be an anxious experience in and of itself and if you’re already have anxiety then... well you already know what can happen. But don’t feel down man!

A few things that can help: lay off porn and jacking off, work out/get in better shape which helps blood flow.  If those don’t work then you could get a low mg dose of bluechew/viagra to help out downstairs. I’ve had some anxiety incidents in recent years and I’m in my 30’s now... so I recently got a prescription and it’s really made my little buddy step up to the plate for hole plowing 😉",One trick to dealing with anxiety in these situations is don't do hookups that are cum and go. Find guys who want to chat a bit first and take it easy. You'll be much more relaxed about the situation and maybe feel more comfortable.,"Oh the possible factors you listed totally make sense, it sounds like the most comfortable place for you to do the deed is in a bed and that’s okay. Idk how cruising is for you, but your problem is a very common one trust me. It just takes acknowledging when and where you’re actually most comfortable doing it so you can work that into your life. It’s not just tops it can be bottoms too like how much they can open up so don’t worry you’re not alone :)","This sounds like anxiety to me. If you can jerk off ok, then you’re probably fine. But don’t get medical advice from the internet. If you’re worried talked to a doctor. 

About the anxiety: lots of men get more anxious not less as they have sex with more hookups because they start to anticipate it going badly, making themselves vulnerable to strangers and not connecting. It can be emotionally painful and scarring. Maybe wait to connect before you have sex.  That might be what your body is telling you.","This sounds like textbook anxiety, nothing more than that.

It may be that hookups like this aren't for you. Try to find someone that isn't wanting to meet up in some random place with no foreplay. It's okay to slow down and take the time to enjoy it. There are a lot of guys who can't get into what you're doing, that isn't at all unusual."
18,Is it normal for bottoming to hurt?,r/TopsAndBottoms,fsct6d,10,,True,True,0.92,"Bottoming isnt uncomfortable when you are practiced, and doesnt hurt. If someone is really big and doesnt take the time, or if you are anxious, then it hurts a bit.   It happens to everyone where theres pain at some point, but its not common per encounter. 

The whole ""I cant walk"" thing isnt because of pain, it's because you are shaky from being plowed the right way for 15 minutes.  And yes it can happen a lot. Cumming a little bit untouched is common, but a full blown orgasm is definitely not common.","I've always thought tops get the better end of the deal pleasure-wise. When I'm getting fucked (which is rarely, so maybe I just don't ""get enough practice""), it's uncomfortable, and I'm usually focused on making sure the top is feeling good, so I'm usually not touching myself and/or getting in the way. But I love the psychological pleasure of getting fucked, so I'm not complaining! I'd just love to feel physical pleasure at the same time my partner is. There's only been once that I've stroked myself while getting fucked, and we both came at the same time--which was nice. (Yeah, I just need to remember to stroke myself! 🙄😅)",[deleted],"It’s a butthole - of course it’s gonna hurt if you’re out of practice especially if you can’t *relax*. This where the top has to step in get that hole to simmer down usually with their mouth...

For me, it was mainly pain afterwards with going number two - not so much walking and sitting in and of itself.","slow at first, a lot of lube and not hammering sex and you shouldn't feel any pain. No lube will always hurt, too fast too quick is searing pain, no lube and sliding all the way in would make you cry"
19,Is it normal to be a submissive top? How do I find dominant bottoms?,r/TopsAndBottoms,k3oz1d,129,,True,True,0.98,"i’m a dom bottom, most tops like to dominate and i don’t find that appealing, relinquishing control isn’t something i’m good at. 
i’m 166cm somewhat of a twink and i love dominating huge submissive tops.","I am versatile but in my relationship, I am the bottom my partner is 100% top but I am 100% the dominant one. As a Puerto Rican, I am passionate and like to take charge. You will find someone trusts me. Maybe when I can go to San Fran I may say Hi! Lol.","I’m a dom bottom! We exist. If you’re looking for specific outlets to discover dom bottoms, FetLife is a good one. 

Just be open and honest about what you want from partners. I’d say that it’s safe to wager that a lot of “sub bottoms” are actually just sub because they assume they should be. That’s what it was like for me at least.  I didn’t realize that i could actually be a dom bottom until my partner said he wanted to be tied up and used as a dildo. Now it’s my favorite role to play.

Sorry if that wasn’t much help, feel free to message me if you have questions! Just advertising yourself on your profiles as a Sub Top or as a living flesh dildo might get you some attention. Best luck!","Can you describe how you'd imagine a scenario unfolding?

I'm fairly inexperienced and wonder whether I would mind something like this!","FetLife is probably another good source that you could check out. While the gay communities are smaller on there compared to straight there's still plenty of groups, you might find your power bottom dom there 😘"
20,Bottoms - when do you douche?,r/TopsAndBottoms,kd0ovk,96,,True,True,0.94,"So I'd almost look at it from multiple steps. 

1) increase fibre intake daily, I use Metamucil almost daily and have increased my leafy greens so I am feeling cleaner overall. 

2) if you are horny and are generally feeling like you're going to be up for sex, consider a prep douche during the day, that way you are almost 100% clean and you'd only need a quick maintenance douche when the time comes

3) Find better tops, if someone is upset cause they need 30-40 min then they need to get the fuck out.","I may sound boring, but I am up for anal sex only if I can have shower right before. So if there is no chance to do that, I am not up for it usually. Exception - when I am drunk or wasted + horny as hell. 
I just want to feel clean during the intercourse and having ideas that it looks awful down there from his perspective is a big turn off for me, because you know, sometimes tops can be just... polite and not say it to you. 
I am just the type of the guy, who loves meat and avoids from vegetables and fibers as much as possible so yeah.","I've always done it once the conversation looks like it's trending to wanting to meet up. I figure if I'm horny enough to look on Grindr for a hookup, I'm definitely horny enough to use a toy, so if all else fails I'm clean for some personal time.","I honestly try to do it as close as possible to the meetup as I can (usually right before they come or I leave), and I don’t feel bad if they give me shit  for it because that’s exactly what they’re gonna end up with if I don’t take my time LOL. I think the better tops understand how important it is to be as delicate and thorough as possible with douching, and to give us the time to do so.",Find men who respect you. If they get annoyed because you need 40 minutes tonget ready they need to gtfo.
21,Best fiber supplement to get clean?,r/TopsAndBottoms,iwfpxz,14,,True,True,0.85,I have mild IBS. I take a scant tablespoon of psyllium husk every day with my vitamins and meds. It works great! Just drink lots of water with it...,"If you can manage it, I think taking the actual fiber outside of pills is best. The reason is that if you look at the amount of the pills needed, you have to take 4-6 of them per day to get the proper amounts. Some recommend even more. Suddenly those name brand pills get very expensive.

A tablespoon or two of the powder mixed with water, juice, or even worked into some of your food during the day is much easier and more cost effective.","I take a couple of these psyllium husk capsules as a supplement most days https://www.amazon.com/dp/B001TH7K0G/ 

I douched a couple days ago and was happy that I came out basically clean first round.

Sometimes I’ll really mess my stomach up (e.g. about a week ago I drunk beer and shots with a friend going through a break up and was really gassy and bloated for a couple days after) and find that a probiotic can help in cases like that too.",There is always gonna be a need to douche sometimes,Organic psyllium husk powder or capsule. The best!
22,What fiber pills to use for bottoming?,r/TopsAndBottoms,krusgu,104,,True,True,1.0,"I started with Pure for Men and it worked well. I then switched to generic pysllium husk pills and it worked exactly the same.

I think Pure for Men tries to distinguish itself by saying its pills contain a mixture of fiber sources but really, all you need is any source of pysllium husk and a fairly clean diet.

Currently, I dont even use pills. I switched to buying pysllium husk powder in bulk and mixing it into my oatmeal in the morning. Still works the same.",I use psyllium husk capsules and they tend to work pretty good,Metamucil works better than fiber pills,"I dont have the best diet, but I do have a bidet. I can go from zero to buttsex in less than 5 minutes","Kirkland psyllium husk for me, that and a diet with lots of greens and keep hydrated."
23,Is it healthy to douche or not?,r/TopsAndBottoms,l019mu,6,,True,True,0.81,"As with all things, it's not an either or. ***How*** to do it safely is what's important.","Its better to douche with normal saline because it's isotonic - so it wont affect the balance of electrolytes and stuff in your butt

https://www.sfaf.org/collections/beta/anal-douching-safety-tips

Written by a qualified health researcher at least with instructions on how to make normal saline

Also look into stuff by Evan Goldstein who is a gay proctologist and basically the only doctor I can find who talks at length about this kind of issue. he is on lots of podcasts and has a lot of articles as well. He sells a saline (i'm pretty sure) douche product - which you don't have to buy, but the product information gives some indication on how much fluid you should be using ETC.","Rectum, go mad every day. It is literally a bag and it's healthy for it to be empty. Higher, the jury is out but it is healthy for your gut to be full. It's entirely possible routine high douching will disturb your gut flora.","It's better to not. Sure it's not horrible if you do it in moderation just like anything else, but it's better to maintain a healthy diet. Fiber supplements can help a lot too. You'll probably fine if you're not overdoing it",
24,How do I clean out for a gang bang?,r/TopsAndBottoms,epf9fh,15,,True,True,0.95,Pretty sure this same question was posted recently. You may be able to find it,"Read ""How to Bottom Like a Porn Star""",It is a dream for me to be the only bottom in a gang bang and continuously being hopelessly pounded!!,,
25,What's your process for cleaning out the rectum?,r/TopsAndBottoms,2lu8p6,9,,True,True,0.78,[deleted],I have problems with this because I have only found one sure fire way. What I do Is tiny bursts of water until it's clear. Ride my dildo in the shower (so you can wash off any mess from the dildo easily). Then quick bursts of water again. And finally use the dildo again (should be totally clean inside this time) if you're not clean just repeat. ,"Two words: shit happens. If a guy freaks out over a speck of poo, then they should know better than to ram things in buttholes. ","I will spend a few hours using warm salt water enemas until everything is out!  Then hop in the shower and use a slim long dildo to draw anything else out, followed by a finger to make sure I am sqeaky clean in there. While in the shower I shave my ass smooth.  I enjoy the whole process of preparing my ass for a nice pounding, being clean and smooth in anticipation of getting fucked gets me hot.","I've had a few bad experiences with this, both from myself and others. What happened with me is I douched about ~3 hours before sex and unfortunately there was a little poop around, then I tried doing it about ~30-45 minutes before and everything was still a little 'wet' so while I don't think there was actually anything flowing around it generally wasn't a pleasant experience.

I seem to have found that the golden period, if you're douching, is about ~1-1.5 hours before sex. Maybe you could do it sooner or later and still be fine, but that works for me. Although if you're douching every time you have sex then that's going to get very old fast, it's unnecessary.

The easiest way to get clean, in my opinion, is to go to the bathroom a few hours before you're going to be meeting a guy, then hop in the shower afterwards and make sure that you're as clean as possible back there. As disgusting as it might sound you may end up with a little poop on your hands/fingers in the process, but it's better than all over some guy's dick/finger/mouth."
26,Sorry this might be tmi but how do I douche properly? ,r/TopsAndBottoms,t0iu55,67,,True,True,0.94,"I’ve been with my partner 9 months now and we fuck like rabbits. In all those times I’ve douched the water has only come out clear 3 times yet I’ve only been not totally clean twice. So don’t be overwhelmingly worried about perfectly clear water. It sounds like you might be struggling to get all the water out? Or excess? What I’ve always done is use a dildo after douching or in between douches. It opens you up and creates a vacuum that will pull out anything that doesn’t want to come out “naturally.” Other than that, I mean, as everyone in this community says so often. Anal sex is dirty. It takes time getting comfortable with that, I know I’ve still got work to do, and whoever tops you should already know that too. It’s life. Best of luck.","Get a TV or laptop and put some Netflix on in the bathroom to pass the time 😉

But in all seriousness, I have the same problem. I eat lots of veggies (plant based diet) and often drink a glass of water with almost a tablespoon of psyllium husks. My poops are rarely solid. Douching is a chore and I know what you mean about the pain. The water, specially cold, makes my tummy upset and forced more bowl movements to happen. I suggest using body-temp water.",so most guys here seem to be against not eating before sex but if i know imma be fucking ill usually hold off on eating anything that could mess with my bowel movements in a bad way 12 hours or so before i wanna be ready. usually if i eat ill make sure its small and that its something high in fibre and wont cause messy poop. if i do this then my douching process is as simple as pooping then following it up with a safety check with a little bit of warm water and then i shower n im good.,Best resource online is this [comic](https://howtocleanyourass.wordpress.com/). Have fun.,"I've gone through the whole gamut while learning. The worst were the fleet enemas they sell, was never clean after those. The best was the shower attachment. Combined with diet (I try to fast 8 hours or so before), they get me pretty clean. There's no way you should be spending two hours in the shower though. And as someone else said here, anal is dirty, so a small amount should be expected. Porn isn't real....."
27,Are there tops who like bottoms that don't want to cum?,r/TopsAndBottoms,l4auyz,53,,True,True,0.89,I’m totally fine with a bottom who doesn’t blow provides he’s verbal and reassured me he’s having a good time. I want lots of moaning and begging for my load.,"find a top with a chastity fetish for his bottoms....voila, only assgasms for you","I love bottoms like you. Let me be a selfish top and I'll make up for it with cuddles, affection, and a bomb-ass relationship.",That's a whole lot of text for a very simple question. ^((The answer is Yes btw)),"I don't have like a chastity fetish or something.

I feel like a big part of being a good top is making sure your bottom has the best experience possible, which usually includes stimulating him right and getting him off (I like to do that before I cum).  

However, if a dude wanted to just be there for me to poke and do my thing, I'd be 100% down and into it."
28,Are there tops that prefer bottoms with small dicks?,r/TopsAndBottoms,dn59cm,24,,True,True,0.94,i have a small dick. i dont need it cause i never use it,"My last boy had such a little dick, like less than 4 inches. I found it super sexy. I don’t really care about dicks one way or another, but he would try to rub mine on his and he loved the comparison.","I’m 9” top and highly prefer guys w small dicks. 

I don’t pay attention to dick at all.  They get in the way.",I'm bi and average size. When I'm feeling more gay mine shrink's way down.,"I have a small dock, 5.5in when hard and thin. Just like the other guy said: I don’t mind cuz I don’t use it. But honestly when I turned into a teenager, when I started to cum and my pubes started to grow, I was confused why my dick wasn’t growing that much. I knew I was gay, I knew that sexually I was a bottom, but it was super upset because my dick didn’t grow like other guys I’ve seen. And that bothered me until my early 20s (I’m 27 now). Now I don’t actually give a shit."
29,Do tops prefer power bottoms or submissive bottoms?,r/TopsAndBottoms,lbbf78,26,,True,True,1.0,"As a vers guy:   

If I top, I usually like him to be more submissive but not a deadweight either; however, a power bottom can be so hot when you see him taking charge and knowing exactly what he wants.   

If I bottom, I love being more submissive and I totally get off on the idea of being a hairy, masculine, bearded guy getting used and fucked. It really does it for me.","Submissive and very feminine, I just don't really click with any other type of penis haver.","I like a little back and forth play with the power in sex. As the top and usually the bigger & taller guy, I’m most comfortable holding the power for much much longer than I surrender it. But if he wants to surprise me with something for a spell, baby I love surprises, show me what you got!

As for fem–masc, I don’t have a strong preference, except the extreme ends of the spectrum. I mean I’m not attracted to lumberjacks and I won’t fuck a guy in a dress, but a close-cropped beard I can get into, and nail polish is hot and maybe even eye shadow is fine.

Basically I like to be equally or more masculine than my bottom, and more powerful, and I don’t want to feel like we’re pretending he’s a girl.","Neither. Strong preference for masculine, though.",I'd like a submissive bottom but seems the guys I date are power bottoms. My partner can be demanding he really needs dick regularly or he becomes crabby.
30,Do any dom tops like taller subs?,r/TopsAndBottoms,epogan,65,,True,True,0.94,"Size difference (weight/height) is a huge turn on and in my case works both ways (shorter or taller). I've been practicing and getting into rope work / shibari and big, strong-looking guys look extra cute when they are all trussed up - and most of the time they underestimate the strength of hemp so watching them struggle is hot.",[deleted],"I am bottoming for the first time (finally) with a Daddy Top next week.  I am 6'-5"" and he is 5'-6"".  He was concerned about being shorter than I.  I told him it was not an issue with me.  Outside the bedroom I always maintain equality though some bottoms insist on being subservient at all times.  Once the door closes, I throw the ""switch"" and I am in command.

I plan on being a ""good boy"" because that is what my Top demands.  I also told him the 90% of sex is in the mind and size does not matter.  He agreed and I look forward to satisfying him next week.","One right here, all my subs have been taller, it's a fun size play honestly",yes.  dom and sub is all about attitude... not height
31,"Does anyone like to be called a ""good boy"" during sex?",r/TopsAndBottoms,37l9u8,27,,True,True,0.88,"Love being called boy when im top or btm, it just gets me going",This might be a better question for /r/gaykink ;),"Definitely has some dom/sub undertones, but to me it's a very mild touch of kink. But it can be fun and cute. And who doesn't like to have fun when they're fucking?",[deleted],"As a top I think it's hot to call my bottom ""good boy."" And it gets me hard as a rock when my bottom perks up to that comment "
32,Does anyone let their pets watch while they have sex?,r/TopsAndBottoms,csy6ah,62,,True,True,0.91,"I'm in the bed having sex, the black lab walks in (not mine, dog sitting) so I just ignore her and keep going. Couple minutes later I pull out to shoot my load on his back and when it started spurting  the dog's eye grew huge like 'wtf was that'? Never again.",There's a guy I've seen twice and his dogs have been in the room both times... I honestly didn't think anything of it till reading this post.  I don't think it's a big deal personally.,"Unless they try to jump in or get loud, most of my hookups let their cats/dogs watch. Which doesn't bother me. We are all animals. I did have an issue where I was fucking this guy and felt something brush my thigh. I looked down and his cat was perched next to me just staring and licking his master. My guy got annoyed, said, ""I've had enough of you Fluffs!"" And locked him in the bathroom. He apologized as the cat was pervving on us the whole time and begged, ""Throw that dick back in me so I can make up for it""

Other guys pets run off and do their own thing and might come back if they hear moans or their masters gasping but i don't expect them to lock their pets away always","I specifically request voyeuristic pets as a requirement on my Grindr profile. I just can’t cum without a gathering of animals watching from the sidelines. Lol

Nah, that would be way too distracting, you’ve gotta keep your pets out of the room.","Nope, I love my cat but he is a judge mental little shit and he doesn’t like to share my attention, he gets kicked out even when I go solo."
33,What's the filthiest thing you've done for dick?,r/TopsAndBottoms,9onep5,118,,True,True,0.92,"I once face-fucked a guy until he puked. Pissed on a few guys. 

One time I was at work late on a Friday so I didn’t shower when I got home. Woke up the next morning and went right to the gym then met a fuckbuddy and made him lick and smell my ass, balls, and taint. Which isn’t super bad but it’s up there.

Filthiest thing thing I saw in person was a dude made to drink cum out a dog dish while he was getting fucked. It was consensual, for anyone who’s concerned.","Side note, since piss keeps coming up, so many guys I've been with have been aghast at pissing down my throat -- then did it anyway. The second time, they were reluctant. By the third time, they were ready and demanding, and continue to remain so, whether I feel up to it or not. Creating monsters.... :-)","I hooked up with a guy once and it turned into a late one. During the nights events I’d sucked him and been throat fucked, I made him get rougher with me as I did and when he started fucking me he seemed to get the idea I was up for being a bit nasty. He took a cigarette break after cumming in me. He got up from the bed grabbed me by the dick and took me to the kitchen. He rolled a joint and made me bend over on the floor of his kitchen and with one hand finger myself rougher and harder as he made me wank. He got me to cum as I was fingering myself facing away from him, he got up just as I finished cumming and slapped my hand away and started fucking me on his kitchen floor. I got told to crawl back to his bed room and suck his dick clean. He sucked my dick again for a bit and then gave me a genuine rough fuck and dropped another load up my ass. He took some of the cum from my ass and rubbed it over my face and made me lick his fingers as he gave me a handjob and my cum was split between my ass and face. That was a fun night. He was a ridiculously hot slightly shorter guy, nice body and a proper nice 7” cock. It was great to see his face when he realised I was gonna be a dirty little bastard that would take what he’d give. The drive home I didn’t really know what was going on, I was on another world and my ass had that feeling for a good few hours later of I knew fine well it had took a pounding. ",[deleted],"So so many things. Some standouts, not counting the more “normal” gangbang/group scenes:

Getting throat fucked by a very hung, hairy neighbor; not my first or last throat fuck, but one of the most brutal. He slapped me around, called me names, and just raped my throat while my head hung over the edge of his bed. I had an empty stomach, but I still gagged up a ton of clear stomach fluid. He shot most of his load down my raw throat, but pulled out and sprayed a few ropes onto my already coated face. I walked home after, my face coated with throat slime and cum. I looked like I had dipped my face into a bucket of hair gel.

The night I had two hung black dudes spit-roasting me, taking turns switching out their dicks between my holes. It was rough and deep. The first one bred my hole, then pulled out and had me suck him clean while the other guy took his turn filling my hole with his cum. About 20 minutes after they left, this closeted guy with a fat, very curved dick who would stop by whenever he was in town hit me up. He came over, made me gag on his dick, then slammed into my hole. He was a big fan of choking, slapping, and making me take it in all sorts of degrading positions. He also unloaded in me and left. My hole was sore and swollen afterwards, but I still let a bud of mine stop by and use my sloppy fuckhole (he was into that sort of thing). Hurt like hell, but still let him use me until he finished.

Several times where I let a guy piss in my hole, and a couple times when I let someone piss down my throat. First time, dude didn’t even ask; just started pissing while I sucked. Laughed at my shocked face and told me he needed to pee before he could cum. I wasn’t into drinking piss, but he was hot and had a nice dick, so I just swallowed it. Then let him pump his cum down my throat.

"
34,Why do some Tops say they want someone else’s load in me before they top me?,r/TopsAndBottoms,lj3wtw,17,,True,True,0.95,Cause it's fucking hot and good lube,"It’s extra hot if the top sent over one of his buddies to put the first load in me.

I’ve really been wanting to find a regular fuckbuddy who will completely own my ass and do this sort of thing to me on a regular basis.",It’s pure fantasy for most of them.  I’ve straight up lied and told a few that I was already loaded just so they would fuck me.,"I'm really thick and it's nice to have a guy who is already stretched out and and lubed up.  

For a lot of tops cumming into a guy has to do with a sense of ownership, and sharing a guy can feel super hot.","I had one lover who would come over before work, and then come back after work and fuck me again sometimes. On the occasions that it would happen, there was a dynamic about it that we both really enjoyed. He was more dominating and powerful, and I loved being his cumdump. We talked a lot about him bringing  another guy over so he could watch me get fucked, but never got around to doing that."
35,Why do some tops think that it's OK to call bottoms 'girls'?,r/TopsAndBottoms,g1vpsq,126,,True,True,0.91,">Why do some tops think that it's OK to call bottoms 'girls'? 

Gender Stereotypes. 

I've never had a top call me a 'girl' - probably because I'm pretty masculine looking and I would just shoot him a look 'that's it we're done'. I know some bottoms who love it and that's great, but it doesn't work for me, and I think most know it when we talk. I did have a regular top who would call me his 'bitch' - which, frankly, was really hot in context.",I totally agree ✌️,It’s a matter of preference in my opinion... those limits or likes/dislikes I always discuss in advance... many bottoms enjoy it and frankly it turns me on as a Dom top... I can turn it around and make the verbal all about “take it like a man” and it can be just as hot... bottom line (pun intended) discussing it in advance leads to more satisfying encounters...,My first top really was into this. It bothered me for a while but I never worked up the nerve to tell him. It's happened on and off since then too. I don't know what it is about it. If the top wants to fuck a girl go fuck a girl lol.,"I think what you really hit on was checking in.

I know a lot of boys who like to be referenced as girls when they're getting fucked.I know a few who absolutely hate it.

All it takes is a few minutes before things get hot and heavy to check in, see what people are into, and go from there.  Then everyone gets what they want.  The first few times, while you're figuring out how to do it, like everything else you do for the first few times, may be a little awkward , but it takes only a few seconds and prevents some much more awkward stuff down the line.  


As to being referred to as a girl makes one ""inferior"" that's an entirely different conversation, and you might get some opposing ideas there too."
36,Do masculine tops reject masculine bottoms?,r/TopsAndBottoms,dwezd3,11,,True,True,0.93,"Gay at the bar: “You’re a bottom?! I would never have guessed. Such a shame. Why are all the hot dudes bottoms.” 

Girl at the bar: “You’re gay?! I would never have guessed. Such a shame. Why are all the hot dudes gay.”

Yeah. That’s what it’s like.","It’s interesting, as a masculine bottom you always have two hurdles people have to clear. They have to figure out that you’re gay and figure out that you’re not a top. I say that because tons of people have told me wow I wouldn’t have guessed you were gay/a bottom. Lots of those people have also said they hesitated talking to me or flirting with me for those reasons. So sometimes it’s tough because some people won’t approach you because they assume one of the two things. 


That being said I feel like overall most people like a masculine guy so I’ve never had any issues once people realize I’m a gay bottom.",I’m vers with a strong penchant for bottoming. In my experience it doesn’t really matter either way. I think the only people I’ve run into that have a problem with it have been young immature other bottoms that think everyone has to fit into neat stereotypes. And frankly for a multitude of reasons I don’t give a damn what they think of me.,[deleted],"I like masculine bottoms, just not super beefy or too gym bro-ish, which is often what I attract. As a total top, I’m less concerned with fem masc and more about height. I like men under 5’5. I topped only guy who was as tall as me (6’0) and I couldn’t stay hard. I just wasn’t attracted to him because he was too tall."
37,Does anyone else want to be a super fem bottom or a super masculine top? Nothing else?,r/TopsAndBottoms,j4uca2,143,,True,True,0.96,"I’m similar, that’s the joy of being gay!","I feel that. When I bottom, I serve it up and want the guy to annihilate my hole. Make me scream. When I top, I like to choke (if they’re into it), spank, spit, and dominate.","Nothing wrong with being a switch! As long as you can make clear to whoever you're with what you're after, go for it!

I haven't been on that side of things but I had an FWB who was similar - sometimes I dommed him, sometimes we shared a boy together, depending on what he was looking for.",I'm mostly a dominant top and was fantasizing about being a submissive slut bottom as well. But as I got more into bottoming I turned into a power bottom. I guess that's just my dominant nature 😆,"I’m exactly like that. 90% sub bottom. 10% dom top. Here’s the problem for me though: i can’t be  both with same person. Its either you fuck me senseless or I fuck you senseless. But there’s not readjusting or flipping of roles. Once is set, is set for good. I feel something is wrong about that. I wish I could be more vers and fluid."
38,Any tops actually turned on my a bottom guy with a limp dick?,r/TopsAndBottoms,3vn0uh,23,,True,True,0.93,"Anal sex often makes a bottom go soft. It's a different kind of stimulus.

I'm totally okay with it.

It sounds like a control thing with that guy. Not letting you think of anything else but his pleasure.","Yes, yes and yes.

This will sound crude, but it turns me on to basically fuck a bottom guy who isn't concerned about his cock at all. Like if he never got hard and never wanted me to even touch his cock, I'd be totally fine with that. I like thinking that he is getting all of his sexual fulfillment out of me fucking his ass, and doesn't have to cum like I do (unless it is handless, anal orgasm. Which is hot as fuck). The whole dominant aspect turns me on, and I like to think that my boyfriends are essentially reduced to being passive girls to me in the bedroom. 
","Absolutely, a true bottom shouldn't be allowed to use his cock. A bottom's cock is unrelevant. I really don't like it when a bottom jerks off while I'm fucking him. He should only focus on his hole and learn to get pleasure from it only.","Yeah. Like, seriously.

It's really seeing a guy's soft dick jumping around as he rides me. When a guy is such a bottom that his own dick is completely irrelevant, it really gets me going. 

But I'm a fairly dominance-oriented top, so your experiences may vary.",I never get hard…my little penis is totally irrelevant for sex.
39,Soft Dick Bottom: Hot or Not?,r/TopsAndBottoms,ehqmf6,16,,True,True,0.88,"Top here. Love when my bottoms are soft when getting fucked, it’s a nice contrast with my hard dick.","Bottom here who, not only does not get hard, I also actually shrink a bit when I'm horny","Love small, soft dicks on bottom boys!","Bottom here. Unless I’m jacking off while getting fucked, my dick will stay soft. Not that I’m not enjoying myself, I’m just focusing on pleasuring my partner. He’ll come inside me, and then I cum while fingering my sloppy hole.","My dick is irrelevant during sex, so soft is definitely better - and my boyfriend knows I’m focusing on his cock in my ass if I don’t have an erection myself"
40,"Tops, which is hotter: limp or hard dick?",r/TopsAndBottoms,73hup0,16,,True,True,0.88,"It's a bit flattering when he's rock hard the whole time but I actually like it at about half hard, big semi flopping around is so fun.","As a top with dom tendencies, soft bottoms kinda drive me wild","I am sometimes at half mast and drooling precum when I am going down on a guy, but rarely hard.

It's not about submission to me, but when I am in bottom mode, I want to focus on feeling your cock in me. If my cock is being stimulated at that time, it's just distracting. 

","If you want the ultimate submission of a bottom, why not a locked cock in chastity? Nothing else says ""only my cock matters"" than that. :)","I'm a masculine tall, 6'3"", white guy in good shape.  Total bottom actually...when I'm bottoming my dick is almost always soft.  Any tops into that?"
41,"Bottoms, how do you stay hard while getting fucked?",r/TopsAndBottoms,khx09f,12,,True,True,1.0,I don't nor do I want to.,I’d like to know how to stay limp? I’m always hard when I bottom,"I don’t either, I’m normally hard first if I’ve been making out with my boyfriend or sucking him first, but when I’m being fucked it varies - if I’m riding him I get hard, but usually he’s giving he a long hard pounding, and I’m normally focusing so much on my ass that I get soft.... 

It doesn’t really bother me either way, as my dick is normally in a jockstrap and doesn’t get touched during sex.

Even if I get soft while I’m being ploughed, I’m generally hard again after sex when we’re cuddling....","I'm usually not hard, all my concentration is on the dick fucking me.

And....I think that is awesome. If I get hard while being fucked it's because the top is playing with my cock and I am super close to cumming.

I do love a top that times my orgasm with his, though to be honest, that is super hard to do when I get my way and still want to swallow his load.",I don’t. I’m in chastity.
42,How to not loose an erection while bottoming,r/TopsAndBottoms,nqbzmg,20,,True,True,0.9,"It isn't a choice for most bottoms. Many will never get hard while bottoming regardless of their desires to be erect. There's a lot going on down there the bottom, sometimes the sensations and pressures just mean the body isn't going to allow an erection or maybe one that comes and goes throughout. 

I wouldn't venture a percentage but a great many of the bottoms I've been with were not able to sustain an erection, or at least a strong erection, while being fucked.","Just don’t worry about it, I’m normally soft while my boyfriend is pounding me, I get hard when I’m sucking him, and when we’re cuddling after he’s finished in me.... just enjoy the fuck, at the end of the day it’s your bum that matters not your dick!","I've never been able to stay hard when I'm getting fucked.  I'm good during foreplay, but once a man is inside me, I'm like a wet noodle just oozing precum.  My regulars seem to like it.  I still cum, just from what they're doing inside me.  :D","My dad stays hard or semi hard for hours, idk how he does it. He’s a big ol beefy guy, muscle whore type of guy with a big cock. He gets so aroused being used and fucked by a bunch of different guys, his fat cock bounces around, and leaks like a sieve. He never touches his cock or let’s anyone touch it but he gets fucked by lots of guys, and has multiple hands free orgasms","I personally don't get hard while bottoming, I still feel pleasure regardless but I don't feel the need to be hard. I do jerk myself when the top has a big dick because my hole is tiny and there's slight pain. Jerking it drowns it a bit."
43,"bottoms, is it normal not to be hard when getting fucked?",r/TopsAndBottoms,nru4qb,74,,True,True,0.9,This entry from our FAQ page is relevant: [A Limp (flaccid\) Dick During Sex!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TopsAndBottoms/wiki/faq#wiki_a_limp_.28flaccid.29_dick_during_sex.21),"I’m hard right until he starts opening me with his cock!  He can shove his fingers or tongue in there, and I stay rock hard!  The second his cock starts making its way in, I go limp.  If he’s fucking me really hard or rough, then usually I’ll get hard again from my cock bouncing around",I am not hard when I get fucked. Its still amazing. More amazing for me psychologically. But Ik some guys get hard during.,I can’t really get hard when I’m being fucked but I’ll cum over an over handsfree,"As long as you’re legitimately enjoying it then you’re fine. I’m only hard in some positions, and only fully hard in a handful, and some just don’t do anything for my dick. I still had a good time fucking him though and he did too so that’s all that matters."
44,"Tops, how often do you fuck your bottoms?",r/TopsAndBottoms,l0lqyp,47,,True,True,0.95,"In a relationship, I like to discuss that with my bottom. In my last relationship, we used to fuck like rabbits. Full penetrative sex 2-3 times a week. Him giving me BJ and me giving him a rim job almost every day of the week.",[deleted],"Me and my boyfriend are now together for 8 months and I bottom almost 5x a week for him.  I always asked myself if that‘s normal because I just can‘t believe that there are bottoms that can do it that often.
In my case that‘s possible because of my strict vegan diet and some added foods that benefit bottoming such as psyllium husks etc. and the fact that I just really enjoy it :) 
And why should the frequency be discussed beforehand??? I mean to each their own but we didn‘t. 
IF I need to douche and it takes more than 5 minutes I usually pass and tell him it‘s not gonna happen haha so usually not a lot of preparation.
I really hope you get more comments on this post because I would love to hear what others relationships and experiences are like :)","I usually fuck my boyfriend 5 times a week. When we first moved in together, we talked about how often he wanted it because douching used to be an ordeal for him that could take up to an hour. Back then it was no more than once every other day. A few months ago he figured out a way to speed it up a ton, so here we are. I have a second partner that I stay with a couple nights a week as well and he likes to get it once at night and again when we wake up ;)","My top husband,  once or twice a day.   Cums two to three times until he is satisfied"
45,"Face down, ass up. How do I touch my cock while being fucked?",r/TopsAndBottoms,lau9k0,161,,True,True,0.99,"For the first 90% of the fuck duration i don't touch my dick. I don't have anal orgasm etc, but i like being fucked without having to focus on my own cock. 
Sometimes the fuck is enough and i don't need to cum, other times. Esp. If i start jacking off during the fuck, I can just jack off one my top is done. 
Hosting my top in my ass comes with responsibility  ;)","When I get fucked, I don't really aim to cum or jack off. Just getting fucked is very satisfying.","Actually, this is my preferred position. I just love it when I am totally pinned down by the top. It gets me more hard and horny, when my dick is pressed on the floor or bed, while the top is on my back.","In many positions I find it clumsy to play with your own dick, I rather enjoy the bottoming experience. Only when I cum or need to cum faster I touch my dick, but I prefer if the top does that as well.","Too focused on getting dicked to worry about jerking off. Im either spreading my ass, or holding onto edge of bed or pillows."
46,Do other bottoms convulse from pleasure when you get fucked?,r/TopsAndBottoms,l9mrtw,30,,True,True,0.92,"Not every time but it happens more often than not. When he hits just the right spot at just the right rythm, OMG!!","Personally when I bottom no, and I can't say I've ever had a guy do this on me. But it does seem fairly common looking on this sub, and I've definitely seen a good amount of porn fairly similar.

When I bottom, it is definitely quite a mix of emotions and feelings. Usually I end up kind of getting lost in my head. I can totally see someone else receiving those same feelings and expressing it physically. Not weird","When I’m *really* turned on, it happens.  Not sure exactly what it is, but if the Man hits my walls just right, I’ll convulse and “hump” involuntarily.  99% of the time it’s followed by an analgasm.  Sometimes it’s strong enough that I complete empty my bladder.",I lose complete control sometimes when being fucked. And ill beg him to finish because once I cum a few times my ass and dick become so sensitive.,"Yes!  I cum when getting fucked, tighten up on the man's shaft, and my body shakes like I'm a vibrator.  It's so hot!"
47,What are your favorite lubes?,r/TopsAndBottoms,kwryoa,5,,True,True,1.0,"Xlube is a safer alternative to Jlube.

I prefer 9x6 silicone lube for most play. It's expensive but in a category of it's own when it comes to purity, effectiveness, and lack of staining.

I don't care for Gun Oil's silicone formula but their water based one is nice. Gun Oil H20. It has no glycerin which many brands use and which irritates a lot of guys when used for anal.","I just discovered silicone lube as I was having trouble finding a good water based lube, bought it completely by accident. Never going back. Watch the safety for condoms though.","Paloqueth, water based. It's cheap and it has done wonders for me (my ass is sensitive to some lubes).","My favourite for sex and jerking off is JO H2O, followed by Gun Oil and Elbow Grease",Spit and cum.
48,Is water-based or silicone-based lube better for sex with condoms?,r/TopsAndBottoms,iyhx2g,52,,True,True,0.97,Silicone lasts longer. Water based doesnt stain.,"Silicone is the best lube for condoms. Completely safe with ALL condom types. It is most often the lube used on pre-lubed condoms.

Water based is second best and perfectly fine. 

Do not use any oil based product with condoms of any sort. Latex or non-latex. (Most non-latex condoms are made of polyisoprene which, just like latex, becomes brittle and prone to micro tears and breakage when used with oils.) So no oils be they coconut, olive, baby oil, vaseline, etc.",silicon is awesome. water based is good but tends to dry out.,"Silicone is my favorite for masturbation and sex and non-silicone toys. It doesnt dry out, and while it does make a mess it's not too bad and you probably have a towel down anyway. 

Water lube dries out quickly and is generally worse, but you can use with silicone toys and theres no clean up.","I use Fuck water, a Hybrid water-silicone. Won't use anything else."
49,"Has your top's condom ever broke? Ever had a condom go ""missing""?",r/TopsAndBottoms,je3tud,4,,True,True,0.83,"Not after a few days. It would have come out after your next 'movement' or would have already fallen out. 

Are you on prep though? Have you got PEP?","If it was still inside, it would have left your body by the next time you used the bathroom. More important is if he purposely broke or ripped it mid fuck, and making sure you are safe from STDs.

Also, it's a condom. It's not ideal but it shouldn't be specifically toxic to your body if a piece or two broke off.","When they tear, they often shred to pieces if you keep fucking.  Even a couple thrusts will do it.  Easy to do before you notice.  I've had a few tear on me as top over the years.

Don't worry, you would have passed anything if anything was left.","A piece of it came off? I would think it would just tear, allowing his load in you, but no piece of condom. Sounds weird","The first guy I was with had a broken condom the first 3 times we had sex…after taking his load 3 times, I let him go bareback. A few months later he told me he tore them on purpose. 

By then, I didn’t care."
50,"Bottoms, can you feel the difference between a condom vs a raw cock? 1",r/TopsAndBottoms,i6q51n,19,,True,True,0.95,"From both sides, yes you can tell normally. If you're really distracted inexperienced, or just lost in the moment you could miss it.

As a top, uncut is all the more obvious for guys in my experiences lol.","More of it is related to how they move, size etc.  I prefer raw but won’t do it unless i consistently hook up with someone. I will feel back occasionally to make sure the condom is still on so not a huge difference in sensation.","You can tell the difference, but it’s not so different that you’d for sure notice if you weren’t actively paying attention","there is a difference. you need more lube with a condom (like periodically). it feels better bareback, more natural, goes in with just some spit and my own ass juices. and when i get really wet from his cock it slides so good. plus, the feeling of him throbbing and pulsing when unloading inside is so goood",It’s noticeable but MUCH more so when he cums ;)
51,"Bottoms, can you feel the difference between a condom vs a raw cock? 2",r/TopsAndBottoms,ejbn4i,17,,True,True,0.89,"Absolutely. Regardless of how much lube is used or what condom is used, raw is always much, much easier.","When raw, the dick feels a lot more smoother.  
With a condom I feel like there's a little bit more resistance.",I had a regular fuck-buddy who insisted he could feel the rubber and didn't like it.,"I can't feel a difference.  And that's why I went on PreP, so I can protect myself at parties.",Huge difference! There's nothing hotter than taking a cock raw.
52,How can I become a really good bottom?,r/TopsAndBottoms,f09b0w,84,,True,True,0.98,"I think you are worrying to much and not enjoying being fucked. The more experience you get,  the more comfortable you will betaking dick. Remember it's suppose to be fun for you, not anxiety inducing.","Learn what foods agree with you. Once you know this, you can stop worrying about being clean.

Learn to take breaths and truly relax (i will literally think to myself “i want this dick” in the moment as if I’m telling my body.)

Start with a finger in your ass. If the top isn’t into rimming / fingering, I do it myself. I let it sit there for a second. Then I do two fingers for just a moment

When it comes time to take the dick, a big thing for me to learn was that you want to push your hole out the same way as when you’re taking a shit. It seems counterintuitive but it’s crucial.

I personally like to climb on top and ease the dick in myself so that I’m in control of how it goes in.

Go slowly at first! I’m tight too so, depending on the size of their dick, i may only get an inch in before it hurts and I have them pop out. I then breathe deeply until it doesn’t hurt down there and go again. Sometimes I have to have them pop out again. Maybe even a third time. They wont mind if they’re not psychotic.

Then just tell them to go slowly at first as you open up. 

Pretty soon you’ll be ready for them to start jackhammering you and everyone’s happy!","> ""I also clean out but I still feel like I’m not clean enough""

If you feel this way you might have some kind of undiagnosed IBS or hemorrhoids or really any number of GI issues that are irritating enough to make bottoming uncomfortable, much less for your power bottom fantasies.

I only say this because I am a career power bottom and nothing takes me down more than any kind of GI distress. The difference between having a healthy gut/colon is night and day when it comes to taking dick so just take a good look at your diet and lifestyle, try some exclusions(gluten intolerance is real, even if you're a mild case) you should feel *empty* after douching and if you don't you should investigate why!","99% of being a good bottom is being able to relax and control your mind. In my experience, if I am not comfortable and relaxed, things won’t go well.","If poo comes out, shit happens, one of the things that can happen."
53,How can bottoms do better? More moaning? Question for tops!,r/TopsAndBottoms,keutjb,17,,True,True,1.0,"Im a strict top

>should i moan more? Should i whimper everytime you touch me?

Sure.

> Should i tighten my sphincter when you enter me? 

 Yes.fuck yes .when im  deep inside, i love when a dude squeeze his sphincter/ass. Honestly,Keep us in there. Thats where our dick belongs.

>Do you like it when i say 'Stop...' jokingly?

 I love it, but Just moan when u say it so we know u really want it. I dont want a repe case on me.

> How can i make a blowjob feel better? 

 ur on four legs, spread ur ass, lick my dick all around like some candy and act slutty and look at me when ur taking it.

>Do you want me to struggle helplessly when you pin me down/ to a wall?

Yeah.

> Do you like rough kisses on your neck? 

 Yeah but Only if ur mine/bf/husband, and not rough kisses, i want  light slutty ones on my neck. When im owning the guy , i personally love giving him rough kisses. Not a hookup.

>Do you want me to thank you for cumming on me?

God No. I dont know what kind of porn u watch but Its cringy 

> Do you like it when i cup your face with my hands to kiss you?

Sure, why not.

>Do you want to be choked by surprise?

No, only i get to choke. Im the only one who should be in power throughout the sex.

One other thing, i love fuckin a dude in a very small room or place, like in the corner of a small closet. Its hot and fun to see a guy struggle and have no where to go and you end up having animalistic sex where u just fck him like property.",I am also wondering this. Im always worried that next time I hookup with someone my moans or whimpers will sound to fake for them and get turned off by them.,For me??? Just keep squeaky clean down there... trim or shave the hedges... be clear about what limits are... i.e. don’t say no limits then complain it’s too rough... other than that... nothing else is required...,"I love men who are vocal with me dude. Who tell me how I feel, when I’m hitting their spot, that you want lots of body contact. I love hearing grunts and moans, but tell me how you’re feeling. One of my exes, if I was pounding his pussy while in doggy he would turn around and say “come here, dude, I need you” and I immediately knew he wanted a deep tongue kiss. I eat that sappy stuff up haha

As for what you do with your pussy by making it clench or tighten, what have you dude, I fucking love a receptive pussy. It’s part of the reason I love making dudes cum by hitting their spot. Their pussy spasms around my dick and I love that I’m doing that to him and no one else. I hate dudes who just lie there - sex is like a sport, you gotta participate to have fun. And on that note, let me bite you dude. I grew up sharing with my older brothers, but in a relationship, I mark my bottom and let him mark me when we mate so we know we belong to each other. I ain’t gonna break skin though, that’s too much for me. I’m kinda vanilla

As someone who is uncut, blowjobs can get super intense to the point that it is uncomfortable. Play with my entire length, with my foreskin, not just go to town on my dickhead. Also a big thing for me, don’t fucking shave your ass. I love my dude to have a hairy butt. It makes my mouth water, seeing a forest (or prairie) of hair surrounding a pristine, beautiful pussy. I love knowing that I’m feeling the inside of a man’s butt bareback as nature intended",
54,"Fellow Bottoms, is there a way to train the anus to take bigger dick?",r/TopsAndBottoms,k7b3sn,3,,True,True,0.8,Step by step bigger toys. Don’t overestimate.,Experience and working up to it. Getting loosened up and dilated is everything.  Keep at it regularly and you'll get there.,"Start small friend, you gotta learn to walk before you can run",Use smaller dildo's and then up the size when you're used to it.,"👀 I may have started out with a large one, it went fine and all, but I also agree with all the other comments.."
55,What makes a power bottom?,r/TopsAndBottoms,97thqx,16,,True,True,0.94,"Generally that they are in control, dominating the top. Its sorta like femdom for gays(that is an immense over simplification don't use that academically it is the best I can think of right now",Take lead. Command the fucking.,"I remember the guy who started sucking me, he did it for a while but then we realized we didn’t have condoms so we were gonna call it quits... then he tell me I can lie down and he can suck me until I come. He does it for a while, but then he uses his saliva to lube up his own ass, climb on top of me. I tried pushing him away a bit but he pinned me down and told me he’d only take the tip of my dick, eventually he was riding me fully until I came and filled his ass.",,
56,Tips for a new bottom?,r/TopsAndBottoms,byut78,12,,True,True,1.0,"Hmmm, first you don’t have to be this if it isn’t what you want or need right now. 

First of all in bdsm the most important thing is talking. Let each other know how things feel for each of you. Without communication things can spiral out of control quite quickly. 

Anyway, for me it’s a necessity to be in control that makes me a dom bottom. I like use them like my toys. They’re there for my pleasure. 

So if you can get into that kind of headspace you start getting creative. Like telling him to get his ass on the bed and spread. Then you tie him up! If he’s into humiliation you can say you’re going to put his utterly useless cock to some use. Edge him a bit. Take control of that bastard. Get him close to the edge and just stop. Enjoy his body cues, like how he looks at you when you stop masturbating him. You can see that part of him doesn’t like the feeling to stop. Keep him guessing what’s next. And if he isn’t looking at you, order him to do so! Get what you want, he’s your bitch now! Ride him, use him, that’s what he’s been born for anyway! 

Once you get the gist, the rest starts flowing naturally. If he’s good and follows your orders call him a good boy, caress his hair. 

Fuck I’m hard!",https://howtocleanyourass.wordpress.com/,"Yea I'm a power bottom myself you need to tie that bitch up 
Then ride him you can get a lead if you guys like the kinky stuff make sure that there is no way out of that situation 

Pro tip ride him Evan after he cums show that you want a round 2 or 3 that top will not know what hit him","Make sure this is something that comes to you naturally. If you feel like you can pull this off in terms of being a power bottom just do it, but if you don’t feel confident I wouldn’t recommend it now. I always say just try it, don’t overthink it and see where it takes you. I identify myself as a sub and ... power bottom. It depends of my mood and the guy that fucks me. If I’m in the mood for a guy to use me and my holes as a cum dump I am up for it and I will love every second of it. However sometimes I enjoy being dominating as a bottom and there is nothing hotter that fucking a top and taking control of his dick. I love sitting on a dick, riding it and seeing a top without control being in awe. As a power bottom you need to show the top that you are in charge, that he will fuck you the way you want to fuck him, and a little of humiliation might come to play. The dirty talk can help with that. I once bottomed for a “daddy” type aggressive dom. After a few minutes of sex and having something that was pretty vanilla (nothing wrong with that, but that is nothing I signed up for) I had to do something to get anything from this guy. I slapped his face to make him agro which shocked him and ... completely backfired. He literally crumbled but he completely allowed me to take over his dick and the whole fucking session completely. I felt like his dick belonged to me and looking at this aggressive top becoming my whore was euphoric to me. We both had incredible orgasms because we step out off our comfort zones.",
57,How to Top,r/TopsAndBottoms,jm0q2z,4,,True,True,0.76,"Fingering your bottom for the stretching and lubrication of his asshole. Give him a nice rim job for the foreplay. Ask him what he wants, a rough sex or a vanilla gentle sex and the sex position as well. If you are not confident in your stamina, try the prone bone position, which is probably the most effortless one.","Make sure you’re both lubed up well and take your time when penetrating his hole for the first time. Slowly go in. Make sure he’s enjoying himself. Remind him to take deep breaths and relax his hole for you. Body contact will help him relax. 
Communication is key to being a great top, wether that’s verbal or body language. Sex is pleasure between a top AND a bottom. So make sure he is enjoying himself. Since you’ve been a bottom, you’ve got a bank of knowledge to draw on when you’re switching from bottom to top. Take that and use it.

Also there are only good and great rim jobs, so join the rest of us tops and get in there and go to town on his hole! 👍","Biggest mistake newbies make is a lack of preparation and starting too rough.  Just because the tip is in doesbt mean you can be a jackhammer, even if you are a smaller size.

Also, easiest positions to start in (and my favorite anyway) are prone bone and missionary.",lube hole. lube dick. put on condom (if you use them). lube dick again. stick in hole.,
58,How can I reach a hands free orgasm?,r/TopsAndBottoms,j1cu21,15,,True,True,1.0,"Jockstrap, chastity cage, really tight underwear. Just put cover yourself in a way that you can't get easy access. Train yourself that touching yourself means all anal activity stops. So if you even barely rub your dick, just stop everything and get up. Over time your hormones will win out and you'll leave yourself alone if you want to get off.","Small / micro chastity devices are the best ever for this IMHO. We bottoms should always be locked while fucked, it's waaay better for both tops and btms.",Dildo or prostate massager is going to be easier,"Well just ignore your cock, wear a jockstrap that packs up your dick, squeez it between your legs while you focus on your ass and buy a dildo that gets to your p-spot.

Not only big ones but one that works on your but well.

If it didn’t work and you are exhausted, don’t touch your dick and Save your horniness for the next time you Play with your ass.

If you have problem with the penetration through underwear just wear something tight, like briefs, so your dick doesn’t get confused while walking^^","I use a long toy from squarepeg called the stamen while lying on my stomach.  After I get it in, I slowly drag my cock on the towel underneath me, hands free, and slowly move back and forth, allowing the toy to move in and out. The sensation of the bumps on the toy, pressure on the prostate and light teasing of my cock allows me to hold a blissful edge for at least 20-30 minutes. When I'm ready to come, I ride the toy more vigorously, thus dragging/ grinding my cock more until all the cum has been squeezed out. One of my favorite ways to orgasm hands free.

Tldr: Use a long toy and drag your cock on a towel till you come,  hands free."
59,Bottoms what is the trick to hands free cumming?,r/TopsAndBottoms,fy36pn,114,,True,True,0.98,"Ive only been able to cum hands free a few times by one person, he knew what he was doing and was the perfect size to make it happen, i suggest different positions, i was able to cum hands free by being on my stomach or by riding him cow girl style",For me it happened on my stomach. And he was just pounding at his own aggressive pace. Things got sensitive at one point but instead of slowing down he just kept going. Lots of lube luckily. My lack of control over his pounding sent me over the edge.,"It takes time to learn, but find your “spot” and be sure your partner knows exactly what you need.  Then, work that angle and focus.  Once you get your rhythm down and are successful, you’ll be able to easier and faster.","It's definitely something I recommend doing solo first.   I am also not sure everyone can do it. 

For me, if the dick is smaller with a little extra girth it's a lot easier than someone big. It pounds the prostate.  Also, missionary works best for me, or riding.  Also, happens easier in chastity. Not sure why.","I’ve found the angle helps. Going in at a slight angle means more pressure on the prostate. For me, after a while of doing that I start having mini-orgasms. That’s when hard, deep thrusts usually bring it home for me. If I’m riding, I just slam my ass down. Left a guy with some bruising once 😛"
60,"Bottoms who cum hands-free, what position is it easiest for you to cum this way?",r/TopsAndBottoms,dujev8,79,,True,True,0.96,Doggy,"Riding. 100% 
Doggie does nothing for me. 
If I can't kiss, I won't cum","Depends on the dick for me. If it curves down, doggy. If it curves up, riding cowboy.",Doggy,I've done it once in doggy but it was cuz my dick was rubbing against the sheets and it felt nice so I came without masturbating with my hands but I was kinda cheating lol
61,How to stop cumming hands free?,r/TopsAndBottoms,l5lufn,28,,True,True,0.87,"lucky you, why stop?","""It's like dying of thirst while watching another man drown""

-Krillen",You’re lucky. I wanna cum hands free,"Do you have to stop when that happens? Some guys can keep going, some can't once they've orgasmed. If you have to stop, maybe you can work on building up some post-orgasm tolerance by playing with yourself some after you've came. Get a toy and learn to enjoy that aspect until you're ready to go again. 

If it isn't really a problem for you, maybe use your ejaculate as lube and use that mental image to get back into it with as much enthusiasm as you had prior to orgasm.","This fucking KILLS me, I would give anything to make my boyfriend cum hands free, even if we had to stop right after. It feels like an absolutely amazing achievement when I make it happen (twice ever)"
62,Bottoms - cum without ejaculating?,r/TopsAndBottoms,7bwgim,39,,True,True,0.94,[deleted],"Yes, it's a thing. It is called an anal orgasm. I'm jealous.","This happens to me pretty often when the guy I'm with doesn't share the right amount of chemistry with me. I need a guy to be into the sex to get off, but if the chemistry is lacking though this is the kind of orgasm I get.",prostate orgasm. and I'm jealous. lol. ,"Yeah, that happens to me too.  I sort of think of it like a mis-fire.  I mean, it still feels great, but if I don't release at the right moment, it misses the mark, and nothing comes out.  It's a thing."
63,"Tops, How’d you feel when your bottom cums hands-free ?",r/TopsAndBottoms,liwniy,15,,True,True,0.82,When I make my boy cum hands free I feel like I just won the super bowl,"Not a top but I've done it once. I'd say shocking is the best word for it and then darkness. It's just such a startle in a good way, and then my head eclipses the room with the explosion of my ego because my dick was that good.",I can only cum hands free only if I'm riding that dick.,I  am   very  proud   and  satisfied,[deleted]
64,How can I make my bottom NUT from fucking him?,r/TopsAndBottoms,n18wku,63,,True,True,0.98,I’ve only cum hands free from when I’m on top riding my bf. But each bottom is different and so is each dick inside every bottom lol,Take it slow and keep hitting the prostate,"Maybe try a different position than you have keep trying new things til it works for you guys, each bottom is different",Is the best feeling ever when it's right on the spot and I cum from getting fucked. That being said for me on my side and riding work best.,"Prone bone do it for me. Pounding leading me to friction with bed makes it easy.

I don't think i have enjoyed a prostate gasm yet"
65,What are my chances of cumming hands free from sex?,r/TopsAndBottoms,nx3nkf,9,,True,True,0.81,"You seem to have a good plan, and you better go through with it or else I’m taking your spot!","I find it much easier to cum handsfree with someone else, as long as you don't get too in your head and he lasts long enough. Have fun!","You seem to be asking about cumming hands-free. Here is our FAQ entry about ""[How do I Cum Hands Free?](https://www.reddit.com/r/TopsAndBottoms/wiki/faq#wiki_how_do_i_cum_hands_free.3F)""

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66,"Tops, what are some of your techniques for getting your bottoms to cum hands free?",r/TopsAndBottoms,ofh1sp,164,,True,True,0.99,"While in missionary, point your cock toward his belly button and then begin with slow, balls deep strokes making sure you grind against his pelvic floor (rotate your hips), then once he's losing his mind, switch to slamming his ass with short and fast/hard strokes.","For me, when my bottom cums hands free it just seems to happen. I think it’s the whole mood and how hot the scene is and what is going on with my bottom at the time.","sex is more mental than physical, you got to know what he likes and do it, for me i fidn being dominant works really well but not in an agressive or disrespectful manner more like you KNOW hell obey and do what you want because you own him, also positions which hit the prostate work really well and i like to have my hand on his neck, not tight just so he knows i could if i wanted. also dont just stick it in, take your time, tease him","I can only cum hands free when I’m riding the top.  That angle hits my prostate perfectly. Once I find that spot, it’s not much longer until I blast a nut onto the headboard.","I manage to make a fair amount of bottoms cum when I fuck them in missionary with their legs on my shoulders. Makes me hit their sweet spot just perfectly.

​

I don't bottom all that much myself, but I can cum handsfree pretty quick from being on top and riding his dick like there's no tomorrow."
67,"Fellow bottoms, how do I get ready for a big dick",r/TopsAndBottoms,l9whd0,29,,True,True,1.0,"Communication is going to be key. Let him know.  Some things that can help:
1. Use fingers or a dildo on yourself before.
2. Lube.
3. More lube.
4. Tell him that you haven’t had a dick as big and ask him to help stretch you and relax you using his fingers first. Anal play will be important.
5. Go slow.
6. Ignoring the fact that you are 18, sometimes a drink or two or a little weed can help you relax. I’m not suggesting getting fucked up.
7. Poppers can help if you have them.","A lot of lube and a patient top.    When I’m cleaning out, i will always finger and stretch my hole too.   The last few months I’ve started using butt plugs, to help loosen up.  
When the time comes, and the top is getting ready to push in, i have to mentally make myself push out like I’m going to the bathroom.  I’ve found that helps me relax and easier for him to slide inside me.  My regular fwb likes to finger me too, that always helps.",Make sure he keeps his dick all the way inside of you at the start and leave it there for a bit. This help stretching your inside .,"I mostly work my ass after cleaning out to prepare a bit, but i must admit mu first dick i had was 23cm so its a bit easier nowadays","Let him push his dick all the way in really slowly. Take as mich time as you need.
When he's balls deep, Let him sit inside of you for a couple minutes.
Maybe let him have a bit of friction to stay hard.
Your hole will be relaxed and open after a few minutes."
68,How do you make taking big dicks enjoyable?,r/TopsAndBottoms,8i1jqc,14,,True,True,0.84,Practice ,[deleted],"A top that knows what he’s doing. Takes it slow, reads your body language for comfort or pain, takes time to get you used to it","Trying to relax, get your breathing under control and Lube are the only ways I know of.   The guy I'm with gets off on knowing his size hurts me which sucks becuase that makes him harder and more forcefull when he's close.  I like it though so its all good.",why dont you try just fucking someone with a normal size dick?  bottoms seem to love being ripped open for some weird reason 
69,Best positions for taking a thick 9in dick?,r/TopsAndBottoms,ho5d4a,13,,True,True,0.93,Doggy,Honestly on my back with my legs up has always been the easiest position for me to take dick until I get used to it and can move to better positions,"If you're still getting used to it, you may want to sit or squat down into cowgirl so you can control the initial spread and then start experimenting with positions. I swear it's the best way to approach any cock over 8in.",doggy or sitting on him so you can control the depth.,All four and stomach are great ways to start for me.... or riding! If he has trouble getting in I get on top cause I can get it in lol. But depending on shape and if there is a curve depends on the rest 🤷🏻‍♂️
70,Should I tell someone before we hook up I have a small dick?,r/TopsAndBottoms,lhelnc,80,,True,True,0.96,"I've been with guys who aren't that big and as long as their dick worked, size didn't really matter at all. Helps to have a nice face also.","This is going to sound terrible because I don’t discriminate against size, but we’re exchanging pics and he didn’t share his dick, but in conversation he thought it was around 8”. Anyway he turns up and things are going well until the big reveal when it was no bigger than around 3”. The meet went downhill from there, not because he had a small dick, but because mentally I was prepared for a good fuck and how he thought that he was anywhere near 8” is beyond me. I just felt he lied to me, not that I’m into shaming small dicks. So I would say be upfront.","I think it depends on how you presented yourself in the initial hookup conversation. If you expresses yourself as a bottom who wants to suck dick or get fucked, you do not need to warn your top that you have a small dick.

If you have presented yourself in a top or vers discussion, you may need to give a head’s up.","Depends. If you are bottoming that encounter it won't matter. 

If it's up in the air, doesn't matter. 

If you are topping and below 4 inches, I'd mention it. 

I've never seen a guy walk out because of something like that.","You need to date quality people. They probably won't care about size

Edit: If you're concerned you're going to piss someone off: if it's just a hookup app just post dick size in your profile? Otherwise don't mention it at all"
71,"Do y’all find it easier to take big, average, or small dicks?",r/TopsAndBottoms,hde07j,10,,True,True,0.82,I don't know but big dicks give me more pleasure and small dicks are just too painful. No offense meant here. Just my honest opinion.,"Did you measure it yourself with a ruler? I am asking this because 12 inches penis length is highly improbable, considering the average 5.5 inches. In fact, there is no known properly documented measured 10 inches length penis.

You can check yourself the rarity of a 10 inches dick as well as where your penis’ size fits in the distribution of dick sizes by clicking [here](https://calcsd.netlify.app) .

Listen, you can claim the numbers you want, but throwing around such big numbers like they were real only make normal men feel lacking when in reality, they are just fine.

Have fun with your question, looking forward to see what people consider small and average...","Honestly, a lot of it has to do with how relaxed the bottom is, how turned on or into the top he is, and basic muscle control.

Some days, I just open up easier and can take a guy with little more than his pre-cum, other days I'm as tight as the virgin Mary.","I actually find bigger dicks easier. My ass just kind of gives up instead of fighting it. But I prefer the average, all-purpose, dick that fits nicely in your hand, mouth ***and*** ass.","Big dicks are nice, but can be painful"
72,Sex positions for a short top and tall bottom?,r/TopsAndBottoms,kx4gjh,28,,True,True,0.95,"My partner is 5'4"", while I'm 5'11"". We are both vers and have been together almost 8 years now. We have never really had any issues when it comes to him topping me. I find we can still do most positions. It's all about finding how you can adjust. 
Missionary is always easy, no issue there. Doggy can obviously have a height difference issue, however, I lean back more into a ""frog"" position I guess you could call it, to meet his height. I can still ride on top with no issues. As far as standing while he fucks me, (i.e. up against a wall, in the shower, quickie out while hiking, etc.) I just bend a little at the knees. Another easy one that he loves is me laying prone on my stomach and him on top. 
For him being a beginning bottom, I would say stick to missionary. Put him on his back, legs up, a pillow or two under his low back to raise his ass for better positioning. And lots of lube! 🤗 Or let him ride on top, that way he has some control. From there, try some other positions and just play around with how you guys can adjust for the height difference. Make it fun. 

Happy fucking!","You can use all of them. Use pillows, the floor, chairs, the edge of the bed. Get creative!","I'm 6'4"" and as a bottom the only real issue I have with shorter tops is, while being fucked doggy or prone position, I can't make out with them, which is a shame because I like kissing while being fucked.

Other positions should all be good. The bottom will need to adjust a bit but it's really not a big deal. Personally I find it difficult to get fucked while standing with a short top because I have to bend down a bit and when being fucked I just kind of lose control of my legs and can't stay in the position long haha",Most of my tops have been shorter. They love doggy style.,"As a tall bottom (I'm 6' 1"") I'm taller thsn most men I meet, even when im not wearing heels 🤭
Really you can do most sex positions other people can, only stand-up sex can be difficult for the tall bottom. It puts a big strain on your thighs when you have to bend right down to get your ass lined up with his dick."
73,What is the best sex position for a bottom who is taller than the top ?,r/TopsAndBottoms,2sbx2m,10,,True,True,0.92,"I'm just 1m80, but since I had sex with smaller guys I guess I can give input. If we're just talking about prostate gspot, doggy style is the most effective for me, especially if you lower your back while keeping your ass up. Then comes lying on my back and having the top facing me. Riding the top sadly comes last. 
Also I believe the shape of your boyfriend's dick affects this a lot, obviously. I could not relate that to what I said above tho.",,,,
74,Why do tops like doggystyle?,r/TopsAndBottoms,hku46w,166,,True,True,0.96,"Love the control. Easier to maneuver and get that dick in deep. Also love being able to see him open up for me and give his ass a good hard slap or several. One of my favorite things ever is to lean over him so our bodies are completely pressed together, my arms wrapped around him holding him tight and giving him long deep strokes with my fat cock. Breathing lightly so he can feel my breath on his neck. Whispering in his ear to be a good boy and open up for me and how good his hole feels wrapped around my cock.",I’m obsessed with butts and I love seeing my cock pump in and out of a nice one. Loving seeing an ass presented and offered to me. A different type of intimacy when a bottom trusts you back there to fill them with cock and make them moan,I love being taken from behind. It hits all the right spots for me. Especially if I'm forced onto my stomach with my ass up in the air.,For some reason it’s the best position to make me cum. I love getting my cock as deep as I can. And just holding it there while the bottom relaxes and opens up more for me. Then I keep getting a little deeper and deeper until we’re both so turned on I breed that tight hole wrapped snugly around my thick dick. The best orgasms ever!,I am a bottom and I love missionary. It’s more intimate but can also be more dirty if he wants to slap or spit on me.
75,Advice on lasting longer since I've been off my antidepressants?,r/TopsAndBottoms,jue9y7,7,,True,True,0.9,"I had the reverse issue, it used to take me forever to cum, SSRIs made the problem worse. When I went off the ADs it was wonderful to be able to cum quickly. I learned how to hold off and last longer by varying the rhythm or stopping thrusting entirely, pulling out and eating ass or sucking him off for a while then going back in. Eventually I found that I could pretty much cum when I wanted to when I was topping.  


My advice is to fuck your boyfriend as much as possible. If you cum too fast keep playing and go in for Round Two or Three. When I bottom that's my ideal scenario anyway, a multiloaded top.","Have you tried doing kegels? I used to have a similar problem, and doing a set of them twice a day has helped me last longer and control when I cum. You aren’t gonna see results immediately but keeping at it for a couple months made a real difference for me.",,,
76,"Bottoms: multiple or long sessions, how do you do it?",r/TopsAndBottoms,kivc7i,7,,True,True,0.9,"The trick I would do sometimes, is when you start to feel sore, have him fully penetrate you and stay there for a bit. While he’s not moving, squeeze your hole as tight as you can for about 10 seconds, then let go. Do that 2-3 times. Then have him start moving in and out *slowly*. I found that this little trick overrides the soreness, practically making it go away. Also makes things even wetter down there for some reason, which he’ll like anyways. Once he starts moving, you’ll be able to tell when he can pick up the pace again and it won’t be sore","I’m impressed a top could go for 3 hours — usually I have to get at least 2-3 guys involved if I want my hole plowed for that long.

And if you’re in the mood and well lubed it shouldn’t hurt.  I find a lot of the pain is metal - and might mean you’re not into a particular top or not up for being fucked in that moment.  Listen to your body.  And enjoy being a hot slutty bottom :)","Being fucked for a long time is quite the experience. I can go for a long period of being fucked constantly. The secret for me is lots of lube and letting go. It’s overwhelming in a good way. Exhausting, but in a good way. The lube makes the chance of being sore much less.

To be fair, I don’t know if I can go for three hours straight. But there is a big “yet” to that. I went from only being able to take being fucked for 5 or 10 minutes to now over an hour. If your stamina is there, go for the full 3 hours. If you are still concerned, tell him you are up for the challenge, but the first time through you’ll need some breaks. 

See what happens. You might get hooked —either on the joy of it or on the challenge.","I’m quite the opposite. I prefer a continuous session if it will be long. If I rest in the middle, I find it more difficult to relax.","My boyfriend and I can last up to two hours but we never tried three straight hours. The secret is whenever I feel tired or sore (hardfucks make me feel tense after a couple of minutes so I feel like I get sore and tired immediately), I tell it to him honestly. Then we'll just cuddle for a while then I'll allow him to slide his dick inside of me in a slow kind of way repeatedly until we both get relaxed again . Long sessions hurt so you have to be honest with him and tell him to take it a little easy if you want to take up to three hours."
77,Does any bottoms just get off of the thought of sucking an alpha top dick?,r/TopsAndBottoms,lhs8yj,33,,True,True,0.79,i love jerking off and making myself cum while my boyfriend is in my mouth! especially if he is facefucking me.,"i love it.  i can suck and worship a cock for hours.  okay, well, not hours, but definitely an hour, at least.  there are two things about it, one is to show off my skills at sucking and pleasing.  knowing that he knows that his pleasure is my ultimate goal and desire, and being successful at it is makes me feel so in touch and true to my nature.  i just love to please and to be good at it, whether it be for my boss at work or a student in class, that's my nature.  and sucking dick is, like, the ultimate form of pleasing as far as i'm concerned and i have to excel at it.  his approval and encouraging response is everything to me.  the second thing is feeling like a cared for baby.  sucking that dick makes me feel like a baby on a pacifier.  as soon as i close my eyes and wrap my mouth around his dick, i escape into a world of calm pleasure, it's like i lose track of time and my entire world becomes his dick in my mouth, like going back inside the womb.  gosh, i would love to sleep with a dick in my mouth. that would be amazing.","Oh, all the time! I have such an oral fixation and cum fetish. I just can’t help it.",God yes I think about sucking dick 24/7,Absolutely ❤ Something about having my mouth filled by another man makes me weak 🥵😋
78,Any advice on being able to last longer as a bottom?,r/TopsAndBottoms,kkct85,9,,True,True,1.0,I feel like thats a long time to go regardless,"I think it's matter of more experience and practice. The more often you do it, the more endurance you'll build over time.

Also, don't be afraid to take a break and go back to doing other things for a bit, then back to fucking. That can help you extend a single session quite a while too.","1. Maybe it is the lube you're using, or the condom material. If you are allergic to latex in the condom, it might be irritating you too quickly. Or if the lube doesn't agree with you, e.g. lubes made for vaginal use are too acidic for anal use. Maybe a different lube could help? Or even just reapplying more lube frequently could help.

1. 10-15 minutes is a lot depending on how hard you're going at it. Maybe if he paces himself and slows down a bit you could endure longer?

1. You can always take breaks and switch to sucking, making out, frotting, 69, etc for a while and then switch back to anal when you're food to go.

1. Practice can help

1. Maybe a plug with a joke in it would help to reduce friction and keep you going longer? It would also feel much girthier because of the addition of the plug, and might be pretty exciting/kinky at the same time.",It’s good you’re using a plug. I find the slower you start the longer you can last. You just need to warm your ass up before going to town!,I usually give my top a good blow job before fucking. Sometimes you have to add more lube mid-fuck.
79,Face to face or from behind? ,r/TopsAndBottoms,m43gtx,16,,True,True,0.95,"I prefer to fuck a boy from behind. I like to see his ass while I’m fucking it, and to be able to spank his ass and grab his cheeks while I’m inside him. It’s also a very controlling position, and I love dominating a bottom, showing him who’s boss. I can grab his hair to make him arch his back, I can use my body to press him into the bed/ground, I can put my fingers in his mouth to make him shut up or to remind him who controls his holes. There are a lot of fun things to do to a bottom from behind","I love to be taken from behind, trying to keep my ass arched up as he pounds it down into the mattress.",Prone.  On my stomach with his weight on top of me while he grinds his cock into my ass until he dumps his load.  Extra points if he whispers dirty thought to me while he's doing it.,Face to face by far! I love watching his face while he lets go inside me.,"My boyfriend sometimes fucks me face to face, but mostly he bangs me from behind; I normally get a really hard pounding and it’s definitely hotter from behind"
80,Does Amazon have good butt plugs?,r/TopsAndBottoms,ji9acb,1,,True,True,0.67,"I bought this and used locker, I love it!


https://www.amazon.com/Vibrating-Electric-Treediride-Vibration-Stimulation/dp/B07ZCMK6B5",,,,
81,Dildo or butt plug?,r/TopsAndBottoms,in1jl1,45,,True,True,1.0,"When I was younger, I went to a shop and picked up a small/medium sized plug designed to stay in, with the intention of wearing it for short periods while relaxing at home throughout the day.  I quickly found myself wiggling around as I sat, enjoying it immensely.  By the end of  the week that turned into wearing it to work at my retail job (I was a midnight shift Rite Aid cashier back then) and my next pay check I went and bought one a little bigger.  I also found it much easier to play with my dildos after playing with the plugs so much.",Use a plug for like 30 mins before you use a dildo,Get a buttplug anal trainer kit it has multiple sizes plugs u can work up in size and loosen you up,Butt plug. I have one and it makes it much easier to use a dildo.,"Butt plugs can make stretching a bit easier since you can start with the pointed end.

You can also buy [a plug that stays in](https://www.tantusinc.com/products/neo?variant=531303861) to keep you stretched until the event."
82,Tops: buttplug in a bottom or stretch them out with your cock?,r/TopsAndBottoms,a113bu,58,,True,True,0.99,"I prefer to just ease them into in by starting with just fingering, then moving up to more fingers, then sticking it halfway in, and finally full on anal penetration. It depends on how tight they are. If they’re really tight, maybe a butt plug would be better.",[deleted],Stretch him out. I prefer guys not be pre-lubed or opened up. I like feeling the stretch and letting us both get accustomed. My favorite thing is to throb my dick and watch the shock and surge of pleasure. The only exception is if its group action and I didn't start him off. ,My bottom actually hates toys and fingers.  He likes to ride me until he's loose and I love it,I have a thicker than average cock and some guys struggle at first so a bit of pre-loosening is always helpful especially if they're tight.
83,How important is stretching your sphincter?,r/TopsAndBottoms,7zlr32,22,,True,True,0.94,"For me it depends on experience level. When I first stated having sex, I needed to understand how my body reacted and felt to various things - so I knew my limits and what I wanted to do with a partner. Now, unless I know to expect something new/different, I don’t need to “warm up”. Also, cleaning helps. ",Get the inflatable butt plug. They are small to start with but then you can expand them and stretch up,"It helps.

The first time can be a bit rough if you guys do not prepare properly in the moment. And there’s no harm in practicing a bit to get accustomed to it.

Your body will feel more used to it and it’ll start feeling good sooner",Personally I never stretch out. I just get him to go slow at first. ,[deleted]
84,Why being a bottom feels so fulfilling.,r/TopsAndBottoms,keoh1f,38,,True,True,0.85,"Right about everything. When the bottom is in heat and the top is drilling bareback, it is like breeding and mating.","Dude yes to everything you said. I fucking love that you call it mating because that’s what it is man. Nothing beats that feeling of teasing my dude’s pussy with my uncut dickhead, and pushing in while his pussy lips retract my foreskin so that my dickhead only feels the inside of his pussy. Knowing that his pussy was made to milk me, pull me in, with the ultimate goal of having me ejaculate deep inside and coat the inside of his pussy with my sperm is so fulfilling. And dude, trust me, it goes both ways, that a bottom trusts me enough to open his pussy up for me makes me swoon. Like he is giving me the most intimate part of him and that makes me want to be skin to skin with him, to give him the pleasure he deserves and to make his pussy cum while I glide inside him feeling every part of his pussy as I possibly can. And not just that, but also being able to stare into his eyes and have a deep tongue kiss while we share some spit is so fucking hot to me. Being in his mouth and in his butt makes sex so validating for me. Makes me kinda sad I can’t ever get a bottom pregnant, but it will never stop me from trying dude haha","You got a lot of things about it right. I personally love driving a man crazy until he fucks me like he's trying to knock me up as you say. I like having that effect on a man.

I like ""letting go"" and giving away control. I like to be dominated and used for the pleasure of the top. When a top is fucking me I take that as a sign that he is superior and more of a man than me, and it turns me on.

There is also that feeling dick gives you that nothing else can fill, that feeling of being full, of having the weight of another man on top of you.
Once you experience dick you will always crave it, and there is nothing that can satisfy that craving except for getting fucked again. Dick is insanely addictive.","No to pretty much all of this. You are not a lesser person who gets the gift of being fucked. Sex is between two consenting adults. If you want to play out a sub fantasy then go ahead, but acting like all sex involves a powerful, dominant top and a submissive, begging bottom is gross.","I can only say I love it, my husband is a fantastic lover and I do everything I can to make his pleasure the greatest when he cums...I don't feel lessor or his property, just loved and hot..."
85,BOTTOMS: How long did it take you to be comfortable as a bottom?,r/TopsAndBottoms,g9cwb0,89,,True,True,0.99,"Just a note regarding diet: add some fiber to your diet. Almost every western diet doesn't have enough fiber. You can supplement it easily with psyllium husk powders or something like Metamucil. (I think the one marketed to gay men is BS and overpriced for what it is, ""pure"".) This will help you when rinsing out so you'll have less tension from worrying about a mess.","I’ve been with my partner for over two years, and it’s only been in the past few months that I have felt truly comfortable. I considered myself a top before him, but once we got together it became clear he was a strict top only lol. It wasn’t that I didn’t enjoy bottoming before him, or even at the beginning stages of our relationship, but I really struggled with feeling comfortable and relaxed enough to get fucked. I have a history of sexual abuse as a child which probably contributes a lot to that, but now that I’ve gained enough ease and comfort with it, I love it so much. Obviously everyone is different though, and it will vary from person to person. My biggest piece of advice is to get out of your head and into your body. Like others have suggested, taking some sort of fiber supplement definitely helps. I think I’ve had a very small “mess” once or twice, and that’s just bound to happen every now and then. A good top will laugh it off, or won’t pay any mind.","I knew one guy who took about 2 minutes to get comfortable with being fucked. He went from virgin to experienced in just one session. 

Another one took a few years to get comfortable with it, but that was because he was in denial about his sexuality. He enjoyed being fucked from the very first time, and kept coming back for more - but insisted on doing it in the dark and under the bedclothes. 

It takes as long as you want it to take.",I mean both are things that can be fixed. Though some guys like hairy bottoms so that's not actually a problem. As for the diet. I suggest benefiber. I've been taking it recently and have noticed 'cleaning up' has been much easier lately.,"It took me nearly twelve years and many attempts to be comfortable with my body and being penetrated. As far as messes, again fiber and maybe an enema with just lukewarm tap water before any encounter. I have a hairy hole myself, and have found most guys really love it. YMMV. Don’t give up too fast."
86,BOTTOMS: When did you realize you were meant to be a bottom?,r/TopsAndBottoms,ldnhzb,28,,True,True,0.89,"Unlike most other bottoms around here, I didn't feel like shoving things up my ass before actually bottoming (I wasn't really interested in anal sex as a virgin). First few times I had sex I was topping, but then started to bottom and stayed that way. I could be physically into the sensation of topping, but I do really prefer being submissive and the psychological position of bottoming and pleasing the other guy as such.",I started playing with my ass when masturbating at quite a young age...,"The fact that I picture op screaming throught the thread while other people answer calmly is killing the shit out of me. 

We need to normalize writing in capital letters",Been playing with my ass since my teenage years. The dildo I bought when I was 21 pretty much solidify it. Can’t get off without something in my ass,"Hard to pin point the true ""when."" Like others I played with my ass before, but I didn't even have sex with another man till I was 32. So I knew I liked it a while back, but it didn't translate into reality until way later. After the first time, where I bottomed, I kinda needed to think on it for a moment. Like where was all this going. Now that these floodgates were broken. But I think by my 3rd or 4th hookup I was firmly planted in the bottom camp, given what I've just done with these guys. I definitely liked being a bottom bitch to another man. And just roughly manhandled while getting fucked in the ass. That was kind of it. The realization was at that point somewhere."
87,BOTTOMS: At what point did you know for sure you wanted to be a bottom ?,r/TopsAndBottoms,g1x9og,7,,True,True,0.89,I knew I liked playing with my ass before I knew I liked guys.,"Sexual fantasies were always about men fucking me, even in wet dreams. Topping just never interested me, I've done it, but I'd much prefer to take dick rather than give it.","Before my first time, I lubed myself up just in case even though we had not discussed who was going to top or bottom. I didn't really know what would happen when we got together but I had a sense. When we hooked up, he didn't even ask. He just assumed I was the bottom and that was so hot.

And after he fucked me, I knew for sure that I'll never want to top. Getting fucked that first time was like discovering a part of me that had been hidden up until then. Being a bottom was always a part of me.",Well honestly I’m so girly and I’m only attracted to such alpha men that it was a no brainer I was gonna be a bottom,Just always got turned on by thinking about dicks
88,TOPS: Why did you think someone was a bottom when you first saw them?,r/TopsAndBottoms,ih9g6y,9,,True,True,0.76,"The first guy I had sex with said that about me. He approached me at a party with no indication I was gay (I wasn't out), made conversation, and a bit after made his advance on me and took me to his apartment.

He never even asked what I was. He just told me I was gonna take his dick that night and that was that","No.

I've had total opposite experiences more. Guys who seem like total tops, masc, """"straight'"" who end up wanting to bottom.  And guys with ""the voice"", super fashiony, every gay stereotype, who was a Dom top.

Never know.","Maybe I’m just hyper sensitive to body language and mannerisms, but I look out for submissive traits in guys. Whether it’s how they talk, what they say, or their body language after the fact.",Yes many times. With age and experience I get better at detecting bottoms. It's a good question tho I have never really thought about putting it to word's on how  I know. But it has to do with how the person acts as a man around others that gets my kind racing 😉. In bed I've seen a lot of people who claim to be vers or tops give up and just act like a natural.,"There was a younger guy I used to see that you could say this about.  Just a absolute Bottom, no question about it."
89,Why do bottoms get slut shamed while tops get called studs?,r/TopsAndBottoms,iyun7t,198,,True,True,0.95,"Absolutely. 

It's probably a left over from hetero sexuality, where a promiscuous woman is a slut, but a promiscuous man is a stud. A lot of people struggle to get out of the socially-conditioned mindset that the bottom is the ""feminine"" role, and apply those same loaded terms.

It's definitely *less* of an issue in the gay/bi male community than the hetero community, but it still occurs. I've known guys say things like ""I would fuck [X slutty bottom], but I wouldn't date him"", and it was because they saw the guy as, basically, a hole to use (which some guys like to be, don't get me wrong!). It was also compounded by the idea that bottoms were more likely to spread AIDs etc.

Additionally there are tops who fetishise virgin bottoms, whereas almost no-one fetishes virgin tops in the same way (beyond the ""turning a straight top"" fantasy).

How do we fix it? I think just interrogating our own biases and calling it out when we see it in others.",I personally would love to have men use me so they can be called studs. I will gladly be a slut for any man.,Idc I'm a total bottom slut and I own my sluttiness 😊,"Not for me. Everyone’s a slut, regardless of what you’re doing.",I think it's a little more ambiguous for bottoms as there are quite a few who get off on being sluts and who like being told they're sluts and whores.
90,Dating a guy with a lesser amount of sex drive?,r/TopsAndBottoms,l1i9sz,9,,True,True,1.0,"I think it’s very, very difficult to sustain a relationship like that. Eventually it will lead to resentment and maybe even contempt. Once that happens life will be miserable for both. 

Sexual compatibility is not the single most important part of a relationship but it can cause major issues when the gap is wide. Things are almost always the best they will ever be in that sense for the first year or two. Typically, again there may be exceptions, the gap will widen after the honeymoon period is over. 

Are you prepared to live with it as it is now, or worse, for life? If not, start with a deep, serious conversation. Explain the issue. If he is unwilling or unable to change you have an answer. If he says he’ll work on it, have a date in mind (at least a few months) that you will reassess. If he hasn’t made notable changes or efforts by then, you know if isn’t going to happen. If it has improved a bit, give yourself another date and keep track of it. (Maybe a year.) If the effort has continued you’re probably good to assume a real change has been made. If not, same deal as if no change had been made before. 

Do not try to make something work when you’re not feeling it. It will make you miserable. Don’t cheat. An open relationship or thirds on occasion is an option; but, have the integrity not to cheat. Go read r/deadbedrooms for a while. Look at how miserable people are who ignored the early signs and forced themselves to stay. Don’t be one of those people.","You don't. As annoying as this response may be, this is something you sort out when you start dating someone not years down the line. You've decided that dating this specific person is more important than your sexual compatibility with a romantic partner and it has created this problem for you. I say created because this simply is not an issue in relationships where you are sexually compatible. It only exists in relationships where you don't match. In the future when you date other people, if you just go for the guys who you click with sexually and have a similar drive to, you prevent this problem from even existing in the first place.",,,
91,"Dear submissive bottoms, what are the do's and don't for a fun date with a submissive guy?",r/TopsAndBottoms,kmh2ll,7,,True,True,1.0,"This is tricky. As sub, I don’t like being asked first to do something - just tell me to do things, where to eat, where to go, what to do. However, I do have things that I don’t like doing so you’ll need to know that, too. Tricky.",Communication is very important! Understand each other’s limit (especially what you/he does/doesn’t like),"Not all subs are subs in the same way.

Do: Have a conversation about likes and dislikes. Ask him to show you some porn that really turns him on.

Don't: Guess","It’s a date so first thing is you make all the decisions like where your going to eat. Ask him what food he dislikes an allergic to anything. Then make your decision. How do you want him to address you? How will address him? Don’t embarrass or humiliate him in public unless he is in to that. My partner and I have 3 way to talk the public the bar and home. It’s nothing when I call him Sir in public but when he calls me boy we do get some looks LOL. If you’re going out to eat try getting a table where you can talk openly so he feels safe answer and coming out to you.
Have a great date.",
92,Does any top want to date a bottom that is both submissive in the bedroom and outside of the bedroom?,r/TopsAndBottoms,j9rjyu,70,,True,True,0.9,"Love this! I fantasize about cleaning the house while my top is at work, and I'll have his dinner and favorite drink ready when he gets home. Then he'll sit on the couch and relax, eat, and drink while I orally service him. I'm only allowed to eat dinner once I've swallowed my top's seed and he finishes his meal. Then I need to wash the dishes and clean the kitchen before I make myself a plate.

I love being called both a good boy and a good girl, as long as I'm not the ""Man"", because thats what you are. When we kiss, I'd wrap my arms around your neck while your hands lay gently but firmly on my ass, claiming whats yours. I like when tops hold my ass because thats how I feel protected and secure, and I like how a top will naturally gravitate his hands towards it in a very primal, territorial way. Maybe you could slightly slip the tip of your finger down my pants into my hole. I'll squeal from a bit of pain but it'll only make me feel more submissive, as I know you could really hurt me if you truly wanted but choose not to. Instead, you like to toy with me and show me how much power and dominance you truly have in subtle ways.

I would love to rest with my head on your lap while we watch TV, occasionally kissing your crotch because I cant help myself. Then when you're ready you can carry me the bedroom where you'll tell me that its time to get fucked hard and passionate. I'll say yes sir and then you lay me down to mount me. You'll spank my ass and tell me who owns it, and I'll say its you. You'll choke me with your cock, slap me when I gag, and ask if your dick is too big for me. I will say yes sir but that will only make your dick harder and I will have to take it balls deep anyway.

I could write forever about my fantasies so I think I'm gonna stop here lol","I love being a submissive slut in bed, but I kinda do my own thing outside of sex.

One thing is for sure though, I do want you to get me pregnant 💜💜💜",You sound like the perfect man. I would love to get breeded until I got pregnant. And I would love to take on the more motherly role 😍,"I don't know man, I'm a bottom but I don't love the idea of being submissive outside the bedroom.",All the things you say in the bedroom sound very very hot. I’m a total bottom and into that. I don’t mind some submissiveness outside the bedroom like letting him take the lead or grab me by the waist etc.
93,During the dating process is it the top’s job to court the bottom,r/TopsAndBottoms,i5l9k9,3,,True,True,0.57,No,"Oh ya I feel you

Am a bottom and I love being treated like this, being wined and dined, buying me gifts, makes me feel very good and appreciative ;), it’ll win you lots of points in my books, probably why they do it

However I think it’s important not to become spoiled by this, and tops absolutely deserve to be romanced as well, so jus cuz your a bottom don’t think you don’t need to put effort into showing that you care","No. One of the bonuses of being gay is that heteronormative behaviors can be and often are thrown out the door. 

Now, if you want that just let people know up front. Some will be into it but many will not.","I'd love for this to happen to, but I know realistically it's not going to happen. Straight guys only really pursue women because it's social convention, and women aren't supposed to be the more forward ones, typically.

Bottoms are seen as the more feminine role in the gay community, even though this isnt necessarily true. So social convention would suggest that tops, seen as the more masculine role, would pursue the bottoms. But ultimately, it's two guys, so either shows interest in the other.

Or at least that's my opinion","Not necessarily, but I do not mind being spoiled with gifts, dining out, and luxurious trips. Okay yeah that sounds a bit over the top, but in the end as long as he shows he cares about me and does it in the littlest ways. That will make my day! Because it's the little things that make it mean so much."
94,How do you calm down before a date?,r/TopsAndBottoms,jfqfhw,2,,True,True,0.75,"As an anxious fuck, good luck.

Really. It's hard for me, I've gone on two dates and neither time I felt totally comfortable. I think it's important to expect that as well, especially if your date is an anxious person, that their personality on a first date won't be the same as when you're more comfortable with each other. 

I personally just try to be honest. And be myself. My anxiety was not as bad when I didn't feel I had to ""put a face"" on. There will be some anxiety regardless tho. Just don't focus on long term stuff or fantacise about being boyfriends, because that WILL make you anxiety worse.","are you nervous cuz you like them? cuz you wanna fuck them? not sure about them? but of different reasons before a date to be anxious. ultimately I remember , I likely wont see them again if I dont like them and wont remember them in year or two, so it doesn't really matter much. just keep in mind that you are just seeing if you are compatible. not deciding on the rest of your life. keep calm and carry on my friend !","Hmmm I'd like to know that, too! I'm in an open relationship, got anxiety disorder since 4 years and unless hooking up with someone literally living around the corner (so it feels safe I could be home within minutes if I wanted), being on the way to a guy can be anything from mildly uncomfortable to a full panick attack - even if I already know the guy!! Really sucks. But I keep hooking up because I don't want to be bogged down by this shit. And after the sex, on my way home I always feel totally calm 🤷‍♂️ Go figure",Hookup or date: I’m always anxious as fuck. Don’t smoke weed before lol cuz it will just make you more anxious. I’d suggest a shot of tequila or just remember that the other person is just as nervous as you lol.,"Remember that he is just a human being, just like you; if you’re afraid to have so safety issues - some mase gun in your pocket should make you feel calm lol"
95,When is the right time to say you are kinky and a sadist and have dom-sub fantasies while dating?,r/TopsAndBottoms,jia919,12,,True,True,0.94,"If its a requirement for you to enjoy the relationship/Sex you need to state that in your Bio, or at least \*before* the first date.

>they think I am a sex pervert

The only people who think you're a pervert would be prudes, and you're not going to want to date them anyways.

>I have wasted both of our time.

This is the key point. Even messaging with somebody is a waste of their time if you're not going to be interested in them without Kink.

let them cum to you. *good luck.~*","Well is it a requirement to dating you? If it is, by the third meeting. 

Most guys will do a little exploring in this area, but wont too often.  Collars for sure, a lot of guys would find that hot. And most would at least try chastity for a little bit.  If you want it as a 24/7 thing and make it the nature of the relationship, you need to be upfront becsuse otherwise you will waste a lot of time","After the first fuck you might get an idea if how they are from how to response to things that you've done in the act. Then after you could say, hey I'm actually into a lot of kink stuff - let me know when you're comfortable to talk about that more. He may open right up.","I think everything should start about as basic as sex can get before you know if you want to try a kink out with a partner. Run the bases and all that. I guess if someones advertising what you want, that's the best way to dive head first into a specific dynamic, but I think it's good if that person can fuck you good enough.","It really depends on what kind of kinkcter you are. Painting with an overly broad brush, we can be put into two major categories. Those that ***need*** the kink and those that ***like*** the kink.

If you ***need*** the kink to be happy in your relationship, just stick to Recon or put it in your profile.

If you just ***like*** the kink and it's a spice that you enjoy once in a while, show him that you are good at vanilla sex first then introduce notion of BDSM.

Optionally, only date vanilla guys who are ok with open relationships and get your kink on the side."
96,When is the right time to bring up your kinks while dating?,r/TopsAndBottoms,jul4d7,21,,True,True,1.0,"Personally, I would bring it up when someone messages you, and you’ve chatted for a bit. Don’t post it on your profile, because like you’ve said it’ll attract weirdos. Just gently guide the conversation towards kinks, or if you’re feeling confident you could bring it up in a matter of fact way as a kind of disclaimer (eg. saying that if they aren’t okay with that then there isn’t much point getting to know each other). Just act confident really. You shouldn’t be ashamed of your kinkiness. You’ll find the right person eventually x","It depends. If you ***need*** the kink to get off or ***need*** to have that kind of sex more than 50% of time. Bring it up immediately. Put it in your profile and don't bother trying to meet guys on anything other than the kink sites like Recon. Don't bother with Grindr or (lol) Tinder.

If the kink is just something you enjoy, then introduce it when the topic of ""what are you into"" comes up.

>If I write them on my dating profile, I only get people who are interested in sex and not relationships.

Yeah... exactly... but if you click during a scene, you might ***end up*** in a relationship. I had ***no intention*** of starting an LTR when I started dating my partner but we've been together for over 10 years now and the sex remains fantastic... and frequent... because he and I are both really well matched in the kink department.","Maybe after chatting for a bit or on a second or third date. Just steer the conversation there a bit. The context and tone you take is everything. Convey it in a totally disarmed manner. If they’re open to it, they’re not gonna think you’re a weirdo","depends if theyre dealbreakers

like - if you want your sub to drink your piss, you might forewarn them so youre both not disappointed later on",Sounds fun
97,"Couples with strict top/bottom roles who have gotten married, what was your wedding like?",r/TopsAndBottoms,j8wbkq,3,,True,True,0.62,It was at a courthouse and we signed some papers.,The way we have sex had nothing to do with our big ass awesome party,"I saw this in the sub FAQ and was curious but since there's not a lot of responses I'll answer.

Short version:
Why would your preferred sex position have any impact on your wedding? It's not like you're gonna fuck on stage in front of all your family.

Long version:
You're gay there's no rulebook. Do what you want.
There were a few things we weren't sure how to handle because of this. 

We had an outdoor wedding with an aisle and all that.

We had groomsmen and ""groomsmaids"" though they weren't all boy/girl pairs, our parents, a ring bearer and flower girl

For the procession everyone stated above walked in first, then me and my husband walked in last together.

For one neither of us are religious, so we didn't want a religious ceremony but we didn't want it to seem alien to our religious families. 
We ended up using a traditional Catholic wedding structure but removed most of the religious elements. We replaced bible readings and sermons with literature quotes, and a reading from the gay marriage supreme court ruling and had our readers make short speeches. We had a close cousin officiate (we got legally married prior to all this so she didn't need to be ordained)

We had mother son dances and had our dads, the maid of honor, and best man give speeches.
We did all the normal stuff, first dance, cake cutting, dollar dance.

We both threw small bouquets and left in a black car to a romantic weekend getaway.

All in all it was a wonderful night",we are getting married next year (fingers crossed!) - we are doing the  marriage bit ourselves in the morning and then just having a big party in the evening for everyone,
98,Does any top want to date a bottom that is both submissive in the bedroom and outside of the bedroom?,r/TopsAndBottoms,j9rjyu,71,,True,True,0.9,"Love this! I fantasize about cleaning the house while my top is at work, and I'll have his dinner and favorite drink ready when he gets home. Then he'll sit on the couch and relax, eat, and drink while I orally service him. I'm only allowed to eat dinner once I've swallowed my top's seed and he finishes his meal. Then I need to wash the dishes and clean the kitchen before I make myself a plate.

I love being called both a good boy and a good girl, as long as I'm not the ""Man"", because thats what you are. When we kiss, I'd wrap my arms around your neck while your hands lay gently but firmly on my ass, claiming whats yours. I like when tops hold my ass because thats how I feel protected and secure, and I like how a top will naturally gravitate his hands towards it in a very primal, territorial way. Maybe you could slightly slip the tip of your finger down my pants into my hole. I'll squeal from a bit of pain but it'll only make me feel more submissive, as I know you could really hurt me if you truly wanted but choose not to. Instead, you like to toy with me and show me how much power and dominance you truly have in subtle ways.

I would love to rest with my head on your lap while we watch TV, occasionally kissing your crotch because I cant help myself. Then when you're ready you can carry me the bedroom where you'll tell me that its time to get fucked hard and passionate. I'll say yes sir and then you lay me down to mount me. You'll spank my ass and tell me who owns it, and I'll say its you. You'll choke me with your cock, slap me when I gag, and ask if your dick is too big for me. I will say yes sir but that will only make your dick harder and I will have to take it balls deep anyway.

I could write forever about my fantasies so I think I'm gonna stop here lol","I love being a submissive slut in bed, but I kinda do my own thing outside of sex.

One thing is for sure though, I do want you to get me pregnant 💜💜💜",You sound like the perfect man. I would love to get breeded until I got pregnant. And I would love to take on the more motherly role 😍,"I don't know man, I'm a bottom but I don't love the idea of being submissive outside the bedroom.",All the things you say in the bedroom sound very very hot. I’m a total bottom and into that. I don’t mind some submissiveness outside the bedroom like letting him take the lead or grab me by the waist etc.
99,Have you ever had a long term relationship with someone you weren’t sexually compatible with?,r/TopsAndBottoms,8axm6z,40,,True,True,0.92,"Yeah, I'd break it off with him in my perspective.","I don't know how you made it 6 years. I get not being *into* stuff, but not being willing to *try* something with a new partner and being willing to *compromise* is a massive red flag. That's a one-sided situation with one person calling all the shots, neglecting their lover's needs/desires for selfish reasons.. I'm sorry things didn't work out. Communication, respect, and trust are the pillars of any relationship... and that requires *honesty*. It's best to just be open about everything early on so people don't get led on. It's a shame it didn't work out since I'm sure he was great and all, but I'm glad you learned your lesson.","I think sexual compatibility is not binary (have it or you don't) it's a scale. And how compatible you are can change because people's preferences can change.

Your post title says ""Have you ever had a long term relationship with someone you weren’t sexually compatible with?"" but in your post you don't actually ask any other questions, so maybe you're just sharing? Which is fine too of course :-)

To answer your question: of course. You have to be lucky to find someone who is, to a strong degree, sexually compatible with you, and stays that way too.

At the same time: you've stayed with him for 6 years, so the relationship must've had numerous pros too, to counterbalance the low degree of sexual compatability. Which is also fine, sex is ""just"" one part of a relationship. How important it is for you depends on you.

Relationships are living things, they change.

Enjoy your current one! xx","In one now. About the same amount of time sexless too.

We opened. ","Thanks for sharing. My heart goes out to you! No decent sex for 6 years? That’s a Guinness record. 

I learned that TRUE sexual compatibility is my non-negotiable from a similar experience with my ex. I went a year without my then partner making me cum. I was attracted to him for HIM, however he was never able to take me “there” sexually. 

The romance and affection was high, and I thought that would be enough to overshadow the lack of sex, but boy was I wrong. 

We eventually compromised by allowing an open relationship. This only seemed to make things worse. Jealousy, resentment, and inadequacy all surfaced. I broke things off while I still could."
100,Tops: What makes for great nudes from a bottom?,r/TopsAndBottoms,l2foxh,117,,True,True,0.98,"I love a picture over the bottoms shoulder showing their back and their ass cheeks. My favorite way to fuck is putting my bottom on his stomach, so I can pound him while I play with his ass and control him; so I like to see what I’m going to see when I’m fucking him. I also love to see a hole pic but that’s definitely secondary. Seeing the tight little hole that I’m going to ravage really gets me going, but the cheeks are the most important. And most importantly, as a dom top, if I say I want a specific picture, take that specific picture, a bottom following instructions and being a good submissive gets me rock hard",[deleted],"Bottom here. I've come to love sharing the ""on all fours, cheeks spread, hole exposed"" pic -- and I didn't think I would. The reaction from 99% of the younger tops that are in to older sub bears is that it sends them through the roof with positive comments. Now, I don't hold back from sharing it.  I often even send it before specifically asked, in the first metal exchange of sex related pics. I really never thought I'd do that either. lol","When he looks cute and submissive, maybe a little pose or something.  I hate pics that look like a mugshot.","It feels like the person sending them is sincerely enjoying doing so. I still have fond memories of my FWB playing with themselves, they had the right angle and got the money shot within the frame  so I really could enjoy every aspect of it."
101,"Bottoms, do you usually get asked for dick pics? Do you regularly take dick pics and send them out?",r/TopsAndBottoms,kl8t1y,14,,True,True,0.86,"You're hot AF, hands down, no contest.   You've said your penis isn't a good size,  in previous posts and what's the point in showing if you're strictly a bottom?  First off, your penis isn't small, and second, even though you would not be using it during sex, seeing it during, would definitely turn me on, whether you leave it be or play with it a little--youre extremely sexy all over and your penis is no exception.    Just my opinion, sorry If it doesn't help much.","Most gay guys are into dick. They may not be into penetration with them, thus being tops. The idea that tops aren’t attracted to dick is completely foreign to most in my experience. It’s really prevalent in this subreddit that tops don’t like to suck dick or don’t like to get the bottom off. That has never been my experience and all the info I can find tells me that the ignore the cock at all cost tops are a small but vocal minority. 

So I think it’s natural for a partner of any role to want to see front and back of a potential hookup.","Bottom here. 

In my case, all the guys I've been with had asked for a dick pic. I don't think that's irrational though cause even though they were tops, they still gave me blowjobs and stroked my dick during sex. Tops like dicks too.","Yes. But once I showed my dick pic to them, I don’t think they care that much.","Some tops are in to dicks. They want to see the bottom excited. They might want to suck cock. They may like the idea that they are fucking big dicked bottoms — or small dicked ones. They may just want to see the whole package of you, both sides.

Dom tops are (mostly) different. I don’t remember a dom top ever asking for a dick pick. A full nude? Yes. A hole pic? Yes. But a stand alone dick pic?  Not really. I don’t even keep those one click away anymore. It just doesn’t seem to factor in to their calculus."
102,How do I take better nudes?,r/TopsAndBottoms,cjqaeq,13,,True,True,0.88,"It's all about that lighting! Find a good spot in your place and wait for the sun to get that warm orange glow as it starts to set. Then go for contrasts! Take pics from an angle, not head on. Use a tripod for posing.","Low angles, close in to enhance the intimacy, to make yourself more inviting. Don't worry about cutting off parts of your body. Pull up some of your full body shots and crop them, you'll see. Take shots of what the dick's attached to as well.",Let someone else take the pics.,it's really difficult to take nice booty pictures. not sure how girls freaking do it.,"Also important to prep yourself. Give yourself about 15 minutes from stripping before taking your first shot, give the marks from clothing seams time to fade."
103,Good site for Doms and Subs?,r/TopsAndBottoms,koed4u,65,,True,True,0.98,"Scruff might be a better option. 
There's always Recon and FetLife.",I'm curious about this as well actually,"You can try Doublelist, depending on your area. I’ve had luck on it. It’s trying to be a Craigslist replacement. This is honestly a problem since Collarspace became mostly dead",Try Silverdaddies,Recon.
104,Bottoms. What apps have been the most successful for hooking up and finding good tops?,r/TopsAndBottoms,jukgfl,76,,True,True,0.89,"Tbh, I had good tops on Grindr but it was always a one time thing. I had a good older top, that is always available though 😂. I had amazing fwb on Tinder too. And as a bottom, I found really good other bottoms on tinder too ( sex doesn't always have to be anal 😎🤟)

I tried happn but had the cringiest experiences on there",Amazon. You find the best tops for cooking there.,Fabguys is good.,"Ngl, Craigslist was probably one of the best ones for me back when it was a thing. It let you cast a wide net, since it didn’t involve using an app directly marketed to gay guys, you could get messages passively without having it open it, and it assigned you random CL “mailbox” so you had the option of not giving out personal contact info if you so chose. 

I do use grindr, Scruff and bbrt, but they tend to either lock you into guys in your location vector, or open you up to people 5,000 miles away with no real middle ground. Bbrt gives you the most control over your public pictures and the verbiage you can use, but its also fairly niche.",I use adam4adam.com
105,Where are the best places to get fucked?,r/TopsAndBottoms,ccq0wx,2,,True,True,0.6,The butt,Backseat of a car is hot or in a park on a bench or bleacher,"Out of the bearded barley  
Nightly, beside the green, green grass  


Oh, beneath the milky twilight  
On the moonlit floor  


Down by the broken tree house  
Upon its hanging tire",On the beach. In the grass. Picnic table?,In a sling on a patio.
106,Any slim or medium build tops that fuck larger bear sized guys on the regular?,r/TopsAndBottoms,gn131d,53,,True,True,0.93,"I fucking love those ‘mismatches’ short fucking tall, skinny fucking bear or muscle, young fucking old. 🤤","I honestly think that small slim twink tops mount large muscular bear bottoms is extremely hot🔥 and wonderful 😍!

Missionary, riding and prone bone all work well for it.","If you have the bottom lay face down, but turn on his side a little bit. Let's do a for example. Bottom lays face down, leans toward his right, and bends his left leg to the side and bends the knee. This gives you a space for your left leg and knee, with pretty spot on aim for a stocky bottom's hole.

Secondarily, I highly recommend a sling. Holding up the big fellas takes a lot of energy, let a strong frame do that work for you, and you gents enjoy the dicks and asses!","Doggy/froggy always works for me with the bigger guys. Me on my knees, spreading the buttocks apart, then push his butt up or down till it lines up perfectly.","As a big beary bottom, I love the contrast of being fucked by a smaller guy. I'm fairly fit so most positions are good. Missionary and doggy both hot"
107,Best app to meet bears?,r/TopsAndBottoms,35j5bt,5,,True,True,0.86,I know that Growlr is a thing but I've got no idea how good it is.,"I'm mostly into bears and cubs and growlr is the app that I've had the most luck on by far (probably 10 to 1 over the other apps in terms of getting someone who I'm interested in who won't flake out and actually wants to meet up and fuck around).

For what it's worth, I live in an area that seems to have an unusually high proportion of bear/cub sort of guys.

Otherwise I've had decent luck with A4a and a little bit with scruff. Not so much with Grindr (which is a shitty app anyway, having to pay to get notified if you get a message and so on).","Growlr is good, I don't really know what people mean about the older guys who use it.",Growlr is good for bears.  Or just tag me in ;),Bear411 I think is what you're after.  Silver daddies too.
108,How do you learn to be a dom top?,r/TopsAndBottoms,kfg3wz,7,,True,True,0.9,"You need minimum , a slight attraction to banging a dude in the ass and then u just take control of it. And the more you fuck and act dominant over the dude, the more masculine you'll feel, the more you wanna own him in bed, and it just comes naturally with that. I didnt learn by looking at how other dudes dominate. The more submissive and weak the bottom is, the more i wanted to dominate him and make him feel like hes just a hole for me.


One thing i learned is that I love having control and power over everything i do. The lack of control irritates me, in most cases.I was just born as a greedy  piece of shit and im glad some men love that.","> Are subs training them?

Maybe.  I've got lots of twisted ideas, but I'm always worried I'm gonna hurt him, legitimately frighten him, or he'll freak out, or whatever.  I guess other guys see it in me because a few have tried to coax the beast out.  

My boyfriend's figured out how to trigger it quite reliably with a mix of making me both a bit angry and by adding sexual frustration.  Eventually I just fucking take it from him.  I had to get really comfortable with him before I could do that though.

I can't kick into it on my own usually, though sometimes I just am in that zone for no reason.",What kind of moves? Can you give an example?,,
109,I am small and I want to  dom. How the hell do I do that?,r/TopsAndBottoms,lc6yus,111,,True,True,0.96,Learn jiu-jitsu and come at people like a spider monkey,"I'm a tall sub-leaning bottom and honestly I'm very envious of your boyfriend. I'd love a twink top, especially one who's okay with switching roles sometimes. 

Physically, you don't have to throw him around; he's a sub and already inclined to follow you and your instructions. But as manifestations of control, you could reach up and grab his ear, pulling it to bring him down to your level. To lead him somewhere, grab his balls and pull him the direction you want him to go. Hair pulling works too. You could flip the expectation and order him to carry you, or if your size difference isn't bad, to give you a piggyback ride (A riding crop against his ass or thighs may be helpful in motivating him). You can snap your fingers when you want his attention focused; it's kind of belittling and incredibly rude, and it's his place as your sub to respond to it. I know there are subs who like being spit on.

Choking during sex is definitely something I would enjoy, just read up on how to do it safely. Well, ""safely""; you are cutting off his air or bloodflow. If he's a bit masochistic, he might enjoy you slapping his face or punching his torso, spanking his ass. Just have a discussion if that's okay with him first; you don't want crossed messages to make you come off as an abusive partner. Ropes are definitely a direction to look at going. And it's surprising how big a change reactions can be with just a blindfold.

I get the problem with ""daddy"" and generally don't like it myself. You could go with the classic, ""Sir,"" or if you're relationship is such, ""Master."" ""Boss"" can work too.

I can't say I have a broad experience with verbal tops, so this is what I've thought about and the bits of advice I picked up when asking the same thing, how do I dom better. Tell him, instead of asking him; don't make it a question, like, ""do you like my cock inside you?"" Make it a statement, ""You like my cock inside you."" Have him repeat that back, ""I like your cock inside me."" 

Describe what's happening. ""Choke on my cock."" ""Your hole is squeezing my dick."" ""I'm filling your insides."" ""I'm choking the life out of you and when you black out I'll fuck your limp body.""

You can degrad him if he's okay with that, call him a slut, a hole for you to use, breeding bitch, cum bucket, and what not. 

You can pursue some kinks that play to dom/sub roles. Putting a chastity cage on him, keeping control of his key, makes it clear you control his pleasure. You can go animalistic with piss play, spraying him with your pee to mark him as yours; have him piss on himself to show submission. 
If you're open to role playing ideas then medical (doctor/patient), pup play, and age play are good mental frameworks of one in control and the other in his care.","For the verbal part that’s pretty easy you don’t need to improvise much, just tell him what you’re gonna do to him before you do it or what you want him to do then order him to do it. Say you’re gonna fuck him so hard he won’t be able to sit for weeks then do it, or order him to kneel and kiss your bulge and watch him do it. If you say it right that’s what the verbal domination is all about. Sure you can throw in some dirty words to make it sexier but you really just need to have the right tone and attitude. If he likes being submissive he’ll go along with it too and enjoy it. 

As for the physical stuff you don’t need to throw him around to take physical control. There’s plenty of sensitive areas that if you know how to properly hold and squeeze he’ll crumble, especially if he lets you do it. Areas like the hair, ears, mouth, neck, nipples, balls, penis, etc. He’s the submissive so if he tries to use his hands or muscles to stop you from touching just slap him and say no then continue playing with whatever body part you want. Pull his hair when you fuck him, pull his ear a bit too hard for comfort, put your fingers in his mouth and tell him to worship, choke him a little (safely, never squeeze his windpipe only the veins), twist his nipples as hard as you can, grab his balls and pull a little too hard or squeeze a little too tight, straight up slap his dick if he gets hard. Physical domination is also all about attitude he wants to give you control so take it and more importantly use it, control his body. 

Also as for the daddy thing maybe try sir or something else that isn’t as evocative of a particular image for either of you. You can also try the reverse, maybe you both have trouble with giving you a title so instead remove his name. He doesn’t get one in the bedroom. Then you still get the pleasure of hearing him moan your name while you call him slut, bitch, slave, or whore. 

All in all just remember you’re the dom so frame the play around you. If you can’t be bigger and stronger bring him down below your level another way, it shouldn’t be hard since that’s where he wants to be. 

Good luck, and I envy your boyfriend ☺️😈","Hmmm. I am also interested. I can't give you any suggestions as a relatively small dude though. Same complaint about ""daddy"" too.","If I was being dominated by someone, I wouldn’t fight back (bc I’m not a brat), I like to listen and do what my dom says. So if he’s the same way, you wouldn’t need to throw him around much. I’d be satisfied if I was being pushed down, choked, or just in any submissive position. Like, do what you want with my body, that doesn’t necessarily mean pick me up and toss me across the room."
110,What's a good place to find a Dom Top?,r/TopsAndBottoms,gaguu9,18,,True,True,0.92,A dom top on your first time bottoming.. I pray for your tight hole.,"Dom is part of the BDSM community and is about a state of mind and control. You are new to this, you should probably start with slow sex lol",Recon.,Recon.com. Be careful. You have consent always and no matter what the other guy says. It’s a balance that must be achieved. If you’re confused or unsure that’s ok. Be careful. Go slow. And if you’re in pain at any point then stop. Tell him to stop. Don’t ask. Tell. You are a sub. But that doesn’t mean you don’t have purview over your own body sweetie. Give it up. Carefully. Mkay?,Me.
111,Do you consider yourself an Alpha Male / Dom Top,r/TopsAndBottoms,jt8lsz,1,,True,True,0.6,Any guy who considers himself an alpha isn’t an alpha. Who the fuck even says that except on Grindr profiles lol seriously,"As a sub bottom, I have noticed how hard it is to find “real” Alpha males. There are a lot of aggressive tops, but Alpha males seem to be different. Different presence, different energy, different way of acting. The one I met truly spun my world around. Got me to see stuff I hadn’t noticed about myself. Understand there was a difference between having sex and being used. 

He did it without being cocky, raising his voice, or being any of a number of things the stereotype suggests. He “just was” an Alpha. And because he brought someone over once who had pretty much the same energy, I know he wasn’t the only one. 

Many guys who say they are Alphas aren’t. It’s fascinating and frustrating at the same time.","I won't define an Alpha as what they do in bed, because we spent time for sex like maybe an hour per day?. Firstly Alpha males are born Alpha, it is not a trait in which one can trained to be one. 

An Alpha give out an Aura, if you're a Beta Male, he can put u in 'heat' by just be close to you without doing anything. An Alpha do behave like a pack animal, they need a Beta Male to exert their dominance. Thus making them territorial too, if your Alpha have marked (yeah there is a sexual ritual for that) you as his Beta, try to avoid getting close to another Alpha, things may get bumpy. They can however become 'rationally' protective while exerting their dominance.

Last but not lease, an Alpha has nurturing instinct when around you. As he like to pamper you, they also need to pamper and cares.",I do,"I'm very alpha to my bottoms, love to get rough, let you know who's in charge, and alpha enough to bottom and take my alpha's cock too.  To me, alphas are a huge turn on.  I melt for them and go sub instantly.  I typically think that any top who's twunky, beefy, tatted, pierced, and rough but gentle, quiet but assertive and has a commanding presence is most alpha-like.  Jeff Bezos, as an example, is very alpha to me.  One look at him and I don't think he's a millionaire.  They give off big dick energy but don't need to have a big dick.  They don't even need to  e assholes or carry on with bad attitudes.  They could be a doctor and don't have to be a Hells Angel.  My alpha crushes my hole and soul only to build me back up again and make me trust and love them for another earth shattering shaggering.  An alpha established dominance and commands and invites loyalty to him, his cock, and maybe his friends.  That's an alpha in my book.  Guys that say they're alpha, could very well be.  But I'll be the judge of that if and when I surrender my hole for your use."
112,DOM TOPS: what do you say in and out of the bedroom to reinforce your dominant role?,r/TopsAndBottoms,e9hnle,13,,True,True,0.93,[removed],"When I first saw the question, I was like ""whaaaaaaaaaa???!?!!""

Then I kinda thought a bit more and I was like ""Hmmm.... There are things I do subconsciously that may be more dominant or none of my bottoms do""

Here is a list of things that I do-

1. I man-spread. Idk people have told me it's obnoxious, but I don't care.

2. I have a deep voice, it hardly goes up.

3. I am the one to provide the shoulder for my bottoms to rest their head. Literally

4. I am usually romantic, both in and out of bed. I can be more dominant, in and out of bed. I love to be dominant in bed if my bottom is ok with that. I do love to manhandle my bottoms.

5. I like to take care of my bottoms, make sure they are comfortable and fine, both in and out of bed.


I can't think of anything else that I do. But I could do them subconsciously and don't know it.",,,
113,"DOM TOPS: do you prefer bottoms submissive only in bed or outside, too?",r/TopsAndBottoms,fyashg,9,,True,True,0.85,"In an idea world, I want my bottom submissive to me in and out of the bedroom. I don’t want my bottom submissive to the world thought - I want him to kick ass and take names and then come home and be my bitch.","only in bed, and only if thats what I feel like doing.","Someone being submissive alllll the time would get old fast. I dont want to be in control over every life decision, money, etc.  That's not a healthy relationship. In the bedroom it's really hot though",Like like subs and bottoms in or out of bed,"Is this a trick question??? I ask because ideally yeah I like my subs to be 24/7... but that's not the case for most... They get to the sub mindset during playtime but very few could keep it going in day to day life... everyone has a work life, a family life, a persona to navigate everyday interactions... bar that, yeah it would be great to have all subs be in that deep mindset..."
114,DOM TOPS: How do you fuck your sub bottom?,r/TopsAndBottoms,kc2h0o,188,,True,True,0.97,Im a bottom mostly and I love wrapping my legs around my top and scratching his back while were kissing. He fucks me so hard I moan loud but god I fucking love it so much,"As a sub bottom, the position that drives me wild is quite similar to what yours enjoy: I’m face down on the bed, top laying on me, holding my legs with his, controlling if they should spread or close. His arms holding me in a gentle headlock with some fingers in my mouth. Ideally facing a mirror for constant eye contact, and seeing the top’s ass go up and down in the background with every thrust.
Add some possessive whispers in my ear like “you’re mine boy” and I’m basically in heaven.","My favorites are still doggy and missionary style.

But I think most tops forget or don't have in mind how spicy is for bottoms to be fucked by surprise out of the bedroom, in uncommon places of the house (room corners, shower), outdoor places, etc... (example [1](https://fr.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph5f9d5d35e79a2) | [2](https://fr.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph5e22dcbd5121e)).

I'm also getting a kink recently about being shoved / deepthroated instead of being requested to suck, either sitting back against a wall with his hand behind my neck, or [this](https://64.media.tumblr.com/7b7aef1ffad291482999b2128d2ab5a5/tumblr_o9uvzercMd1rnj7e1o1_400.gifv) way.

I've posted another [comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/TopsAndBottoms/comments/k7m54k/bottoms_what_are_your_favourite_things_about_tops/gfmh2yh?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) about this.",My favorite position is laying on my stomach while my top thrusts nto me. It feels even hotter when they lay on top of my back and completely cover me. I feel so protected and submissive in that position 🤤,"My current bottom's (and mine) favourite position is riding me on the couch. After a hearty dose of lube, I love making the couch springs squeak while he rides me, his cock rubbing against my chest and my hands groping his butt."
115,Are there Dom Bottoms?,r/TopsAndBottoms,hclu8m,62,,True,True,0.95,"So, dom bottoms are sexy as fuck. I'm mostly a bottom, and was exclusively until I crossed paths with this one army guy because he was just so In Charge and he made clear *I was going to fuck him*. Really opened my eyes to the joy of being a top, but still rarely do it.

Couple things though. 

> not into bdsm

Really?

> I been desiring to cuff a dom to the bed

That's Bondage. You know, the B in BDSM. It's a light variation of it, but there it is. 

>tell me what a whore I am... and ""dominate"" him

And that's Domination, the D in BDSM.

BDSM isn't just whips and chains, pain and masters and slaves; it's all the less drastic stuff that precedes that stuff too. These aren't bad things to do or be into so long as you're safe about how you go about it. That brings us to the all import word: Consent. Get it before you handcuff him to the bed, being sure he's okay with you doing it *while* he sleeps. Look into safe methods since cuffs can be rather ridged and unforgiving and could cut into the skin. Read up on aftercare; not everyone just bounces back from even light restraining and could need time to get back to their normal frame of mind.

A little concerning though, is this:

>take his cum in me without asking

That's literally rape. That's not okay. Now, you can communicate with your partner and establish what is and isn't okay for both of you. For example, one of my fuck buddies likes to be woken up with a dick in his ass. If he hadn't given me permission beforehand and I just fucked him in the morning, I'd have been in a lot more trouble. Same for you and your guy. Again, it comes back to the communication between you and mutual consent. If he's okay with you being like, ""shut up, I want to ride your dick and you can punish me for it later,"" then go for it.

In your searching to find a guy to play with, it may help to identify yourself as a Switch with a preference to sub. This would identify you as someone who does the ""please the dom... him to pick me up, carry me over his shoulder, tell me what a whore I am"" thing but also wants to sometimes be the one in charge. Conversely, you're looking for a switch with a preference to top.

I also suggest you look into consensual non-consent (sometimes just called CNC). It's basically rape fetish and could be up your alley if it's the control over a top and the top's anger of being forced, well ""forced"" into a submissive role that excites you.

And seriously, it's okay to be into a little bit of bondage.",I read DOOM bottom and I was like FUCK YEAH,There are some of us out there who would definitely be into this.,Well I wouldn't say it's a dominantvbottom. I guess it's more being  brat (a sub that is missbehaving and teasing it's top). Correct me if I'm wrong,"My guy and I are into some BDSM play. He’s usually an aggressive top but I have an aggressive and domineering side that I like to indulge in once in a while. What I really love doing is tying him to our bed so that he has absolutely no leverage. Then I’ll blindfold him and put a ball gag in his mouth. The only time the ball gag comes out is when he’s eating my hole, sucking my dick or licking my balls and taint. And the rest of his body is mine as well. I get to suck and stroke and tease as much as I want to. I get to ride his cock when, how, and for how long I want to. And, of course, I get to decide if and when he cums. And if he manages to cum before I want him to then I let him know that we’re done when I say we’re done and that dick is my toy. We both really love it. And we have a relationship where he’s Daddy, but sometimes Daddy needs to shut the fuck up and do as he’s told because a boy needs to have his fun.

Edit - seems I might have overlooked a couple of things in your post. So I want to say that all that I wrote above is 100% consensual. We’ve had conversations about what we like but more importantly about what we don’t like and what our limits are. We have safe words and use signals when we’re in situations where one of us cannot physical speak. We’ve been in a relationship for several years so there’s a ton of trust built up between the two of us. But that’s not to say you couldn’t have a situation like the one above with someone new. But you need to talk with the other person about all of it before hand. Otherwise it could very well be construed as assault or rape. We’ve woken each other up with sex before, but again, it was something we discussed with each other before and something we both consented. Plus my husband and I know each other well enough to know when something like that would be welcomed by the other."
116,TOPS: do you prefer masculine or feminine bottoms?,r/TopsAndBottoms,dp560n,8,,True,True,0.73,Yes,Prefer a dude with personality who loves to fuck.,I prefer non-alpha masc bottoms.,"I like them furry and masculine in *looks*, but I don’t have any preference regarding personality or manner as long as they’re being true to who they are.",I prefer fem bottoms
117,TOPS: do you find masc bottoms attractive?,r/TopsAndBottoms,kzcxaw,27,,True,True,0.94,"Interestingly, effeminate tops do like masc bottoms. It feels quite kinky to know that while it may seem otherwise for people, you are submitted to the top. Kinda the same naughty feeling sub hetero guys should feel with a dom wife. And trust me there are lots of not so masculine tops. And they fuck amazingly. Maybe the problem is the overvalue of masculinity, when the top the bottom and even the cat must be masc... not reallistic.

I’m quite masc in every aspect except from role, and have found with time that most people who complains about not being enough tops, want an uber macho kind of top.","Omg. I fucking love masc bottoms.

Rugby/gridiron, muscle cubs. The feeling of fucking a muscular arse is, for me the fucking best.

Nothing better than working over a guy like you until you are moaning into the sheets and are unable to do anything else but enjoy the pleasure of me fucking you...

Twinks don’t do much for me. Two twinks fucking look like a pair of stick insects... give me a stocky guy with a nice butt and I’ll fuck you so hard that you’ll feel me for a week...",You sound perfect to me.  Ideal combo.  You'd probably get me rock hard,I love a masc bottom. ;),"I am personally not interested in them, but there's definitely a lot of demand.

Take porn, which is usually a pretty good representation of market demand (cuz capitalism). There's tons of porn studios out there making porn with grunting, hairy bottoms or of buff fraternity-types taking dicks. People are into that for sure."
118,"Do tops like older, masculine bottoms?",r/TopsAndBottoms,h8o831,8,,True,True,0.84,I love masc bottoms. It’s my preference and I usually only go for masc bottoms. I can’t aroused with fem guys.,"Well, believe it or not, I’m a masc twink who enjoys masc bottoms, or any bottoms really","I would recommend you r/YoungTopsOlderBottoms.

And yes, there are some younger twink Tops crave older masc Bottoms.

BTW, I think it's super hot when an older masc Bottom is fucked and marked as a territory by a young twink Top 😈.","Same here, I'm a 30-something masculine bottom. It can be pretty lonely sometimes.",Yes!
119,What's it like being a masculine bottom?,r/TopsAndBottoms,dwezd3,11,,True,True,1.0,"Gay at the bar: “You’re a bottom?! I would never have guessed. Such a shame. Why are all the hot dudes bottoms.” 

Girl at the bar: “You’re gay?! I would never have guessed. Such a shame. Why are all the hot dudes gay.”

Yeah. That’s what it’s like.","It’s interesting, as a masculine bottom you always have two hurdles people have to clear. They have to figure out that you’re gay and figure out that you’re not a top. I say that because tons of people have told me wow I wouldn’t have guessed you were gay/a bottom. Lots of those people have also said they hesitated talking to me or flirting with me for those reasons. So sometimes it’s tough because some people won’t approach you because they assume one of the two things. 


That being said I feel like overall most people like a masculine guy so I’ve never had any issues once people realize I’m a gay bottom.",I’m vers with a strong penchant for bottoming. In my experience it doesn’t really matter either way. I think the only people I’ve run into that have a problem with it have been young immature other bottoms that think everyone has to fit into neat stereotypes. And frankly for a multitude of reasons I don’t give a damn what they think of me.,[deleted],"I like masculine bottoms, just not super beefy or too gym bro-ish, which is often what I attract. As a total top, I’m less concerned with fem masc and more about height. I like men under 5’5. I topped only guy who was as tall as me (6’0) and I couldn’t stay hard. I just wasn’t attracted to him because he was too tall."
120,Why is the more femme top/masc bottom dynamic so hard to find?,r/TopsAndBottoms,m5b3nv,102,,True,True,0.95,"A lot of it is societal gender stereotypes. How to put this...there is a *lot* of social conditioning that associates ""fem"" with ""submissive/bottom"". Feminine guys are rewarded more in the social sense when they conform to this. Of course there are folks who are looking for the exact opposite, but it's often hard to fight upstream against the 8 million ""omg I would breed ur lil boipussy"" comments that fem guys are getting when presenting fem (and masculine bottoms are often treated shitty when seeking fem tops because it's considered ""unsexy"" by the majority).

It's sort of a self-fulfilling prophecy too. Get tons of attention for presenting fem/sub/bottom, other fems notice this, they present fem/sub/bottom, get tons of attention for presenting fem/sub/bottom, etc, etc. There's also the uncomfortable fact that a lot of people view ""feminine"" and ""bottom"" as almost synonymous. A lot of femboy types view ""bottom"" as the only ""*right*"" way to be since they're feminine presenting. They think bottoming is feminine, and feminine is bottoming.

There can be a lot frustrating baggage for fems who top too. My ex was incredibly picky with who he would date because he got tired of being approached mostly by """"""straight-but-curious"""""" types who viewed his extreme feminine androgyny as a way to try taking dick without it being *too* gay *gay* in their eyes, so he dated exclusively out-and-queer/gay cis and trans men which made him happier but limited his dating pool by a lot since he cut out like 70% of the dudes who messaged him.

Many fem tops are trying to avoid fetishization of their fem/top status as well so they tend to be lowkey about it.

It all makes finding fem tops very hard unless you're in the right circles.","I know reddit hates to have this conversation but it has to do with myisogyny too. Because we live in a patriarchy, manly is seen as strong and feminine as weak. Since we also live in a heteronormative society, feminine is associated to being penetrated while masculinity is associated to penetrating. Which, transposed to gay relationships, means bottoming is associated with feminity and topping with masculinity. This is or course utterly ridiculous and as queer people we should fight such pre-conceived ideas but it is of course easier said than done. Especially when all of us grew up surrounded by a hetero-dominated culture.",Nyc is overflowing with fem tops,"I am an older daddy / bear bottom, and my partner is a younger twink fem top. AMA",you ever see the movie promare
121,Are tall bottoms a turn off?,r/TopsAndBottoms,mzcynx,16,,True,True,0.86,A turn off?! Absolutely not. 😳,"6’6” bottom checking in here. Some will like you, some won’t. If you get in your own head and make yourself think tall + bottom = turn off, it will come true. Don’t do it! Get those long legs up in the air and take that dick like a champ!","Some guys like it, some guys don't. Like everything else, it's a personal preference.","Hello fellow tall bottom! I’m 6’4” and mostly bottom. I think guys who are not that tall sometimes get intimidated and/or assume I prefer to top, but so far not one top was turned off by my height. I’m pretty flexible so I think that helps too","Dafuq are your talking about? Tall bottoms are the best thing ever. I get that a lot of tops seem to enjoy the regular small twinky femboy type or whatever, but for a lot of us, you sound like a dream come true. I'm into masculine, braty, hairy, tall, beefy bottoms and my sexy lawyer of a boyfriend makes me drool like a dog."
122,Older bottoms (40+) do you have trouble finding someone that will top you?,r/TopsAndBottoms,i6dhc3,15,,True,True,1.0,I love muscle bottoms over 40. I’ve only had one but it was good. I just like them shorter and smaller than me,I mainly have 20 somethings offering to top me. I'm just not into guys that much younger than me. So I do have some trouble finding tops.,There are really a lot of men out there who like an older bottom. I never have problems finding a top and get sought out quite frequently. (60s here),I'm in my 40's. I'm sure it's easier when you're younger but there are lots of sites for us older bottoms to find hook-ups.,It’s funny the last new hook up I had 2 weeks ago said he liked my profile and would try me out even if I was 7 years younger then he normally liked I’m 58 he is 42 go figure.
123,"Older Bottoms, what's the youngest top you had?",r/TopsAndBottoms,goltpt,38,,True,True,0.89,"20. Arab boy, fucked/bred me 4 times over the one night we spent together. I left his city in the morning.","18 was the youngest. This is all I can say about young guys: Yes they have no idea what they’re doing, cum too quickly and want a sandwich right after, but the great thing is they can do it every 30 God damn minutes. Love them!","18, very hard, very fast and over way too quick...lol",24. He was an asshole and really selfish but still a great top.,"He was 19 (I checked his ID). I was in my early 40s. He hit on me so I just went with it. Fantastic. He came in the first few minutes but then kept pounding me until he came again a good while later... neve went soft in between. And yes... like others have said, you do need to feed them ***right*** after.

As we were talking about life and the big stuff afterward, I said ""an unexamined life is not worth living"". He immediately mocked me for quoting Madonna. The following conversation ensued.

""It's Socrates actually""

""Who?""

""Socrates, a Greek philosopher.""

""No... it's Madonna... it's in that song.""

""Get out!"""
124,Older bottom younger top dynamic?,r/TopsAndBottoms,abv92a,31,,True,True,0.93,"I’m 47 and my 100% top boyfriend is 30, we’ve been together for 3 years. Before him I was in a relationship with a 22 year-old (when we first met) for 2 years. 
When I was young I normally dated older or same age guys until I was in my early 30’s then as I started getting older the guys interested in me started getting younger and younger. It was never something I envisioned or hoped for, it just happened and it’s not uncommon but it’s not really explored in porn, for example, or in any other type of media. The most common thing you see is the top Daddy and the bottom twink dynamic so people might assume bottoms will have a hard time once they reach a certain age. That’s really far from reality ;)","I’m kind of getting into it. Just had a 22 yo top me a few weeks ago, and I am in my 50s.  It was nice. I am 90% top and in the past only bottomed for guys about my age. But younger as top is very appealing and a certain subset of younger guys seem to be looking for it on the apps.",Since I was 20 almost 10 years ago I’ve enjoyed a bottom much older.  It extremely hot and pushes me hard when they try to say “ you like daddy’s ass”. It’s a power dynamic.  Now I’m 31 and my FWB is 40.  We both don’t care about the age but it does feel strangely powerful to be dominant of an older man. ,I'm a vers top (80/20%) and being a daddy I get hit on by young tops who take it as a challenge to get me to bottom for them.  They think all daddy's want to fuck twinks.  For me it's a confidence thing.  Love a younger guy that knows what he wants and goes for it.  Typically play hard to get with them but usually know right away if I'm interested and will submit.,"I'm 46 and I prefer to bottom for younger tops that are at least mature for their age.  I've had a couple of fun younger fwb that were like this.  I was 30 and the guy was 19, but very mature for his age which made it easy to carry on conversations.  The most recent one was 19 when we met, and I was 44.  Again, he was very down to earth, and mature for his age.  I'd love to find someone similar to these guys to be with in a relationship.  For me I just like the dynamic of being a bottom for a younger guy who is still exploring and trying new stuff to see what they really like."
125,"sub bottoms: why do you like your ""role""?",r/TopsAndBottoms,jgt63x,39,,True,True,0.92,It’s psychological. Some people have too much control at work and want to let go by letting a man control them during sex. Some get pleasure from pleasing men. Some have daddy issues. Some like being used. It’s a lot. I like being submissive cause I love pleasing guys and I’m not good at making decisions so it works in my favor. I also have daddy issues so I like having older men in control and love me/be friends with me cause it makes me feel good and happy.,"I don't even think I could explain why. There is something about having a man have his way with you, something about being there to make his cock hard and make his cock happy, something about serving him and pleasing him.  I dont even care if I get off or even hard. It's all about him and his eventual orgasm.","Well, I'm not a bottom.  I'm not even much of a ""sub"".  But if I'm attracted to a guy there's a strong impulse to make him happy and seek his approval.  I instinctively want to be his sidekick or something.  A simple ""thanks man"" has me beaming with pride.  If it's the right guy I like being bossed around a bit.  Dunno why.  Just feels like I'm in the right place when it happens.  I guess I'm just a natural-born beta male.

When I was younger this could be exploited and I let myself be used (in a bad way) sometimes.  It still makes me feel a little embarrassed to feel like that.  My friends can spot me when I'm like this over guy from a mile away, too, and always rub it in.","Being relatively small ( 5'2 for 115 lbs), I can't see me being a top. Plus I really love how men enjoy dominating sub feminine guys. I mean, I am aroused to see them being aroused of having a dedicated toy. It's like, you are the ""candy"" of another guy who can do whatever he wants to you. Exciting asf for me. However I'm not really into the ""degrading"" stuff, or at least only the soft one.",[deleted]
126,sub bottoms: are you ashamed of your sub tendencies? ,r/TopsAndBottoms,j9mtyo,178,,True,True,0.97,"You should never be ashamed of being yourself because you can't change who you are.
I was deeply ashamed of myself and surpressed myself for years and it's my biggest regret.","Nope, embrace your inner slut. Your sexuality has nothinh to do with masculinity. 6”5 here and bottom","I'm pretty far along the spectrum you describe: masculine by day, submissive by cock and also deal with some of the uncertainty that causes. Best way I can explain it for myself is we're not monolithic things and can exhibit differently at different times and that's OK. 
I can't explain how I am scientifically so I just roll with it. I can't help that your description of a good top totally makes me hard any more than I can help that I'm not romantically attracted to men. It's a human connection thing, a sexual energy thing, I dunno. What I do know is that a top with an attitude like that holds a completely consensual unfair advantage over me and that he'll have a very willing recipient for his needs. It's just my nature. And I hope you are able to find peace with yours.",Please don’t be ashamed of being a total bottom 🥺 I need you,I know it's not answering your question : but sounds super hot to me. We could have hot rough sex in bed...and then a cool normal relationship outside the bedroom. Perfect
127,"sub bottoms, how did you accept your submissive side?",r/TopsAndBottoms,kz6mes,26,,True,True,0.97,"You aren’t alone. I’ve felt that shame as well. I’ve expelled much of it from inside, but it occasionally still pops out of a psychological corner and goes “boo!”, the jump-scare being one of shame.

You aren’t wrong for what you like. You aren’t any less of a human being for what you like. Your desires are common; here are four people (at this point) saying they like the same things that you do. You aren’t alone.

Few of us were ever told that kinky sexual desires were just as valid as non kinky ones. That holds true if you recognized it as a teen, a young adult, or a more mature one. When you look at it a face value, it sure looks like you are participating in something abusive, denigrating, violent, even homophobic. It’s really easy to internalize shame from that. It takes a lot of time to unravel that message from where it’s embedded in your soul.

I’m a fairly straight presenting middle aged guy, “top” I’m so many other areas of life. I get the best sexual, emotional, and intimate feelings when I’m letting go and being dominated by another guy or guys. It fills a need. It fills the same need that people who want to dominate others have, the same need that people who want an equal sexual relationship have — connection. Being valued. Being appreciated. Even being loved.

You have no reason to feel ashamed for wanting this. Connection is the most human need of all. As with the rest of us here, the rest of us even elsewhere, you aren’t alone. 

Tell the shame part of yourself to pay rent or get the fuck out. :-)","Im a dominant top,. But i dont understand why would you feel shame. No one knows what ur doing in the bedroom aside u and the hookup. Many guys work hard and are confident and masculine and just wanna let go and have someone take over in bed. The guy i dated before, he was someehat masculine, confident guy, works hard but in bed he needed someone to take over. You guys are very hard to get, and most of us top are really into guys like that.
A beast on the street, my lil bitch in between the sheets.","I’m bi, usually dominant with women and submissive with men.  I can play different roles but that’s my default.  I came to realize that what I really love doing is pleasing my partner.  I love being in control and giving women orgasms, but with men... seeing the pleasure in their eyes and body as they use me for their pleasure is so exciting.  

Those two worlds haven’t collided in “shame” except for once when I met a husband of my wife’s friend.... who it turns out had used my hole regularly for a year off and on.  From then on it wasn’t necessarily shame, but there was a definite undercurrent of his dominance when we hung out.  It culminated in him breeding me when our wives were in the other room while we “played PlayStation”.","I really relate with the OP. At work, I'm pretty type A because I work in finance, and I'd be eaten alive if I weren't. In my social life, I've been told that I carry myself with a self-assuredness that sometimes borders on cocky. Haha!

In the bedroom though, nothing brings me greater pleasure than submitting to a man. He doesn't have to be aggressively dominant either, but I want him to take charge. That's not to say that I'm just lying there doing nothing, but I want him to tell me what to do to please him. Or I want him just to use me for his pleasure. If it becomes a daddy/sir scene, even better. I love being called a man's cock whore or cum slut because he knows that I've submitted to him and I'm there to please him.

All that being said, it took me a long time to embrace my submissive side because I am generally assertive in every other aspect of my life, and there was this weird feeling that there was something wrong if I didn't want to be dominant in the bedroom too. I would say that after hooking up with a caring, affectionate, but dominant top really helped drive home that I'm a sub bottom. He told me that I was a good boy and that my ass felt like velvet. I realized that I was deriving as much pleasure from pleasing him as I was from him fucking my brains out. I've embraced it ever since.",Accept it as the release from responsibility it is. That's a large part of the appeal for me as it's the one time I don't have to do anything except take that cock deep and moan my appreciation.  It's liberating .
128,"sub bottoms, do you want your top to denigrate you or reassure you?",r/TopsAndBottoms,k434nn,490,,True,True,0.99,"I do prefer it. When a top grabs my hair, puts his hands around my throat, slaps my ass, it turns me on so much. Hearing him moan, tell me that he loves my hole, calls me his cumdump and a good boy, that’s what makes me instantly hard. The knowledge that I’m pleasing a man is what makes me insanely horny.","Degrade me when you give me an order, and reassure me when I do something good.",Also the - good boy + kiss on the forehead after breeding - thing you said is just 🤤🤤🤤,You guys are getting dirty talk? My tops these days have been like most new music. Both not slapping as hard as I want,"i would instantly cum myself if anyone ever calls me a Good Boi 🤤💦 like ""yes!I am a good boi!thank you so much for noticing...more dick, pls?"""
129,What's something that makes you feel dominated and cared for at the same time?,r/TopsAndBottoms,fswr08,34,,True,True,0.92,"Fuck me rough while kissing me. Pretty vanilla, but theres something special about having my insides scrambled to oblivion while passionately making out.","For me it’s:

During:
Doggy position while you pull my hair to look at a mirror at you fucking me and tell me my ass feels amazing.
Moderate pressure slap on my ass.
Moderate to light choking.
Look in my eyes and kiss me momentarily when I ride you.

After:
Cuddle like 5mn.
Tell me you had an amazing time (hopefully it’s not a lie lol).","My husband loves resting his hand on my ass as we walk in public. Anywhere and everywhere. It’s his way of showing the world who is the top in the relationship, whether or not I like it to be advertised, but it also makes me feel protected as he guides me along.","For me, their tone of voice is really big. A man who talks to me almost like a stern but loving father would to his son (I'm not talking daddy son fantasies here) is both a major turn on and a great sense of relief because I know this man will take care of me. Calm, collected, reassuring but assertive. This allows me to relax and take on whatever ""punishments"" he has in store for me. Bad doms don't know how to assuage our fears of being harmed or allow us to relax our inhibitions. Good doms can persuade us to take down our walls and freely hand ourselves over to you.

This one guy I met when I was really young, he liked fucking hard and watching me gag on his cock. He slapped my face as I sucked him and pounded me as hard as he could (he was a tall, muscular cop and I was a short, skinny teenager) so I started to get a little scared. He sensed that so he stopped, craned his neck down so he was at face level with me, smiled the cutest smile and simply said, ""hope you're having fun?"" And I immediately relaxed and enjoyed the rest of the night. It was so simple but so necessary.","When you grab my ass. When you talk to me while I work. When you moan and let me know I feel good. When you tell me what to wear, so I know what you like. When you stick your tounge down my throat when we kiss. When you tell me to look up at you when Im on my knees. ☺️😍😇"
130,How to use a submissive bottom?,r/TopsAndBottoms,k2uc1x,261,,True,True,0.98,This was a hot and reassuring post to read.,"Aftercare is very important , lots of cuddles and kisses if you push his boundaries. 

Having him sit with his back up against the wall and fucking his throat is a lot of fun. He can’t escape the cock down his throat and you can make him take it. Also I love to give a firm (yet gentle) slap on the face when I really get going.",The possibilities are endless.  Have him get naked and suck you under the table while you read the morning paper.,"You seem to do a good job so far. Still want to mention that aftercare is really important, esprcially after such intense Sessions. 
That said, you could use cbt and restrain his balls so they are Always bound and under pressure. That means that everytime he moves or shrugs during Spanking, He will feel pain there. Could drive him crazy..",Ughhh what I would give to get a bf like you 😫😫
131,How do I find sub bottoms that want to be used and bred?,r/TopsAndBottoms,kde8m4,200,,True,True,0.97,"literally everyone on every hookup app i swear

sincerely, someone whos not into the fuck-n-go type stuff","Is it called a service bottom? If so, that’s exactly what I am. I need me a selfish top","I love being just used, fucked rough and hard with the focus on the physical.

I also like sex with an emotional connection. Most of the sex between my partner and myself tends you be emotional - my partner (top) struggles with the rough, but he does try.

What is really nice is a good hard fucking where I get roughly tossed around to suit whatever position my partner wants, possibly restrained in some way, possibly choked, possibly slapped, and filled with his cum ... and then we'll cuddle and hold each other.",Uh yeah thats me I like to wear chastity and as long as I make you cum im totally satisfied,Hit us up helps and the quickest way
132,What advice do you have for someone who wants to be a cum-dump bottom?,r/TopsAndBottoms,g2ue6n,20,,True,True,0.92,I took 16 loads in November at the houston bathhouse in one night from 15 guys ... got fucked by about 60-70 guys from october- November... my advice to you is be on PREP & take vitamin c & antimicrobial herbs to fight off any bacterial or viral sti’s but be aware catching something is something that can happen....,"The safest way to begin to do this is to get a friend - who's a top - to be your wrangler. Let him pick guys he knows and trusts. This worked well for me and I've helped some friends do this. This should end up getting you between 5-8 guys initially - which is a good place to begin. 

Things to do/think about before hand:

* Inform your wrangler about Top preferences 
* PrEP - be on it for at least two weeks prior. 
* Decide if you want the men to use condoms or not 
* Make sure you are doing regular full panel STI testing
* Already have at least two full STI testing cycles completed
* Test 45-60 days after the event - and every 3 months after that

There is risk in doing this. You have to decide if you are comfortable with the risk you are incurring. This is a personal decision and no one should make it for you or overly influence it for you. I have done this, and other thing being fully aware of my potential risks and how I worked to mitigate them. There is some measure of risk in every sexual or social encounter, it is up to you as to how you come to terms with it.","PrEP. PrEP. PrEP. PrEP.

Regular STI testing. At least every 90 days.

You can set a rule of no PNP. Depending on how much control you want over the scene -- open door cum dump to you approve everyone who comes over -- you might have some luck keeping people loaded out of fucking around with you.

It's your sexuality and your body. There are risks involved in everything you do. Take steps to minimize the risks here. Give it a shot. See if this is right for you.",It has been my fantasy but never tried. For STIs part you are gonna just take it. Take prep and get essential vaccines (Hep A B and HPV etc..). Others are mostly curable.,Screen your partners and trust your gut. If anything is shady don’t let them have access to you.
133,"As a submissive top, how do I find dominant / power bottoms? (xpost)",r/TopsAndBottoms,k3oz1d,129,,True,True,0.98,"i’m a dom bottom, most tops like to dominate and i don’t find that appealing, relinquishing control isn’t something i’m good at. 
i’m 166cm somewhat of a twink and i love dominating huge submissive tops.","I am versatile but in my relationship, I am the bottom my partner is 100% top but I am 100% the dominant one. As a Puerto Rican, I am passionate and like to take charge. You will find someone trusts me. Maybe when I can go to San Fran I may say Hi! Lol.","I’m a dom bottom! We exist. If you’re looking for specific outlets to discover dom bottoms, FetLife is a good one. 

Just be open and honest about what you want from partners. I’d say that it’s safe to wager that a lot of “sub bottoms” are actually just sub because they assume they should be. That’s what it was like for me at least.  I didn’t realize that i could actually be a dom bottom until my partner said he wanted to be tied up and used as a dildo. Now it’s my favorite role to play.

Sorry if that wasn’t much help, feel free to message me if you have questions! Just advertising yourself on your profiles as a Sub Top or as a living flesh dildo might get you some attention. Best luck!","Can you describe how you'd imagine a scenario unfolding?

I'm fairly inexperienced and wonder whether I would mind something like this!","FetLife is probably another good source that you could check out. While the gay communities are smaller on there compared to straight there's still plenty of groups, you might find your power bottom dom there 😘"
134,Are Muscle Bottoms into Twink Tops?,r/TopsAndBottoms,jvs28r,19,,True,True,0.92,">but rarely come across a muscle bottom looking for a Twink top.

Seriously? I'm pretty much a muscle bear and I love getting held down and mercilessly fucked by a twink that I could snap in two if I decided to. It's hot!

If you aren't finding these guys, you're just not looking.","6'1"" 230lb competitive body builder here. My boyfriend is a 5'6"" 112lb twink top. Love that man \^\_\^","There's someone for everyone out there.... I'm a daddy that loves twink tops. It's not very mainstream, but I've made some good connections on reddit.",There's an offshoot of FamilyDick that does exactly what you're looking for sis - so defs there's a market for ya,Where do I sign up for a twink top?
135,Ass to mouth: Is it dangerous?,r/TopsAndBottoms,j1udyi,43,,True,True,0.9,"Will it kill you? Probably not. Is it totally a safe act? Not exactly. Anytime you tongue a butthole or mouthhug a schlong that's been in a butt, you're ingesting fecal matter, which we do all the time unfortunately (human fecal particles are in so many lakes and rivers now, they're all over dollar bills) but it's the amount and the ""freshness"" that seems to make a difference.

Hepatitis A is very high among gay men. Probably spread from eating butt or fingering then touching other objects with those dirty fingers. It's generally not life-threatening but it can cause you to get sick for more than a couple of weeks and some people will probably have to be hospitalized. I don't believe there are any long-term effects but it's possible.

Giardasis. This one's pretty gross. It's actually caused by protists that are parasites. Once they're ingested they go to your small intestine and start multiplying like crazy, attaching themselves to your intestinal lining, causing inflammation, dehydration, diarrhea, burping, excess gas and making it hard for your body to absorb nutrients. This probably isn't life-threatening for most people but it can be. Most cases will resolve themselves in so many days or weeks. Some people will have it and won't feel a thing. But whoever licks their ass might.

Those are the two main issues with analingus but a person can get still get sick from other viruses or bacteria that will be carried in that person's stool. When you eat ass your potentially consuming someone else's microbial culture and you may not be immune to everything in it. If you only suck on wieners that have been in your butt, chances are you'll probably not get sick cuz it's your own gut bacteria and stuff you've already eaten anyway, so you'll be okay. But if you make out with a guy and he just sucked some dirty dick or just ate someone's butt, he could make you sick. Couples after a while of being together, probably end up having similar microbiomes cuz of living together and sharing bodily fluids and therefore immune to each other's butt juices. I don't know how that works if you sleep with other people though.

Anyway, guys who screw other guys are encouraged to get a Hep A and Hep B vaccine. There's no vaccine that I know of for Hep C.","I'm pretty confident in my cleanliness so I do it - but sure, its a dick that's been in an arse, so yes there will likely be bacteria that could cause illness. Saying that, I've been with hub for 13 years and never had an issue with illness etc from ATM.","I did it once with one of my Bfs, we literally flip-fucked each other and sucked our dicks after fucking (obviously bare).

2 days later we both got an infect in our throat and had to take antibiotic. 
Went away within a week but was pretty annoying.

Asked myself if in porn they always wash their dicks between the cuts 😂","I've licked many an anus, both men's and women's, and I've never been remotely ill from it.

Anybody that does get ill, tell your partner to wipe their arse properly next time.",Thats the same as licking the handle of a shopping cart
136,Do you do ass to mouth?,r/TopsAndBottoms,dogrfm,27,,True,True,0.97,Only if i know the guy and he is real clean. I used to fuck a guy and mid fuck pull out of his hole and eat his gaping ass before fucking him some more. When i would breed him he went crazyy when i would pull out and then lick his cummy hole clean. He was always soo fucking clean i loved doing it but not sure i would do it with another guy,"Yeah with my bf after we have showered and know we are clean together. I'm primarily a bottom, but I do love some good ass eating. Mine and his 😍😎","Yes, I love sucking a cock after it's been in my ass but I know I am very clean before hand.",No.,"I don't mind when my bottom takes my dick in his mouth after I just fucked him, but I wouldn't do that to anyone else."
137,What to you guys think about ass to mouth?,r/TopsAndBottoms,6npkdr,23,,True,True,0.84,"I think it's totally hot, as a top or bottom, either mid-fuck or after cumming. I sucked two or three dicks after they'd been in my hole, raw, at a sex party last night. It's incredibly hot when a random dude starts sucking my dick at one of these parties when he doesn't know I was balls-deep bareback in another guy 5 minutes before.   ","You want me to stay rock hard right after cumming?

Suck on my dick that just bred you ",Love when boys clean their cunt juice off my dick before I shove it back in,"Yeah I think it's hot as fuck. I like to pull out, shove it down the bottom's throat and ask ""how's that fuckin pussy taste?"" Bonus points to a pussyboy who will clean his cunt juice off my cock after a fuck. ",Bottom and I love it. But I'm always very clean. ;)
138,"Hey bottoms, would you blow a guy after he fucked you with a condom?",r/TopsAndBottoms,g5nmok,7,,True,True,0.89,"I love ass to mouth. Ideally, a top fucks me raw, deposits a load on my hole, and then allows me the honor of sucking his cock clean.","It depends on the bottom I guess.  I don’t mind giving a bj to help them get off after they’re done fucking me.  I also try to make sure I’m properly prepped for sex so on occasion, if it is raw sex and all is clean, I don’t mind going down on the guy either.  

I’m the type of bottom that wants to make sure the top gets off first or we cum at the same time so there aren’t many occasions where the guy has to pull out unless I want their load on my face or ass.","I'm into it, assuming the condom has since been removed.","I'll do that, but sometimes hesitate because latex smells and tastes awful. It takes away from the heat of the moment, but a quick rinse of the dick is much appreciated.","Wait this isn’t a common thing?? I figured everybody does, especially if he’s wearing a condom

Wash ya ass"
139,Does anyone else like when after your done fucking a bottom bare they take your dick and start sucking you off?,r/TopsAndBottoms,jm2cn9,193,,True,True,0.95,"This is pretty standard for me. Not sure I'd suck a cock out of another bottom's ass, but I'm cool with sucking a cock out of mine. It's all about knowing I'm clean.

It's especially fun after the guy cums in me... I can usually taste a bit of the cum that way, and I like to show my appreciation for the load.","I don’t do it, but I certainly don’t judge others for doing it, just not my thing","I do it all the time. I don’t think it’s gross because I know how clean I am (and I only do it when I cleaned out before). The best thing about it is how crazy it makes the tops, sometimes it makes them instantly go for round two.","It’s always super hot when a bottom does this

That said if I were bottoming I would never do this","I do it. But hey, im a pig"
140,Where do you learn the rope ties of bondage?,r/TopsAndBottoms,d0m1o4,4,,True,True,0.83,Books are a good start then buy a section of rope and just practice over and over again and you'll be amazed by the results in no time 😙,,,,
141,Rope tying?,r/TopsAndBottoms,3f5p4u,11,,True,True,0.92,"This is why you should date a former Boy Scout.

I agree that learning to quickly, reliably and correctly tie good, appropriate knots is very important to bondage.  

I could show you in person, but I don't really have any pointers online, sorry.","Two knotty boys, twisted monk.","Kink does some pretty interesting BDSM tutorials at:

http://www.kink.com/site/kinkuniversity

They also have links to some pretty solid resources.  Most aren't strictly LGBT, but a lot of the skills are...transferable.",You should maybe check out websites like Fetlife.,
142,Is a cock that's 6.5 inches long typically more than enough to choke someone?,r/TopsAndBottoms,cxehqc,10,,True,True,0.92,90 percent of the time if you're really goin for it.,"It’s a weird thing I’ve found about deep-throating and gagging: the extremes are easier than the average. I’ve found that I can deep-throat 8 or 9 inch cocks without gagging (not everytime, but often enough) and obviously I’m not gagging on something smaller than 5 inches. But the ones in the middle, 6-7 inches are the hardest to do without gagging. I think it’s that the head of the cock is hitting the gag reflex spot dead-on in those cases, while the bigger ones are way past it. 

I probably need to suck about 1000 more cocks to have a large enough sample to draw any real conclusions from. A slut’s work is never done.","Possibly not choke, but definitely trigger a gag reflex.",,
143,Fellow bottoms - What are the filthiest way you ask a top to cum in you?,r/TopsAndBottoms,i2x6g2,210,,True,True,0.99,"""Pump your hot load into my hole""
""Please fill me with your seed (daddy)""
""I need your cum inside me""
""Fertilize my pussy hole""
""Knock me up daddy""",I love a verbal bottom.  It's one of the things that really gets me going.  Good work.,"My bf says stuff along the lines of ""splatter that cum so deep inside my slutty ass that I feel it in my throat""",[deleted],Claim my ass with your cum
144,Forced breeding kink?,r/TopsAndBottoms,kvrwaa,207,,True,True,0.93,"Some people don't have a consensual non consensual fantasy, but there are those who do. For those who do have a fantasy of being available for free use by their partner it can be really hot. I think the idea of laying together after he's put a load is super hot. The best is when they use that load as lube for the next round, or even the next guy

Edited commented due to not seeing the ""rape"" in OPs comment and people commenting about it.","I've often fantasized about being bent over a car while working and somebody coming up behind me and ripping my pants down and forcing me down over the engine and just plowing me long, hard, and deep and filling up full of cum, leaving me there dripping his cum and quivering.","Oh hell yes!

I rather like the idea of playing with a Top and telling him over and over again that I don't do bareback and he has to wear a condom. But then he ties me up, gags me (I love being tied up and gagged) and then tells me he's going to breed me anyway. He spits on my hole, teases it for a few minutes with his tip and then just fucks me deep and long before blowing a load deep inside.","ConNonCon can be definitely hot.  I enjoy the more verbal / psychological side, save my energy for breeding",CNC is a recognized fetish for a reason.
145,Cumdump bottoms - What advice(s) would you give to someone who is interested in becoming one?,r/TopsAndBottoms,g2ue6n,19,,True,True,0.89,I took 16 loads in November at the houston bathhouse in one night from 15 guys ... got fucked by about 60-70 guys from october- November... my advice to you is be on PREP & take vitamin c & antimicrobial herbs to fight off any bacterial or viral sti’s but be aware catching something is something that can happen....,"The safest way to begin to do this is to get a friend - who's a top - to be your wrangler. Let him pick guys he knows and trusts. This worked well for me and I've helped some friends do this. This should end up getting you between 5-8 guys initially - which is a good place to begin. 

Things to do/think about before hand:

* Inform your wrangler about Top preferences 
* PrEP - be on it for at least two weeks prior. 
* Decide if you want the men to use condoms or not 
* Make sure you are doing regular full panel STI testing
* Already have at least two full STI testing cycles completed
* Test 45-60 days after the event - and every 3 months after that

There is risk in doing this. You have to decide if you are comfortable with the risk you are incurring. This is a personal decision and no one should make it for you or overly influence it for you. I have done this, and other thing being fully aware of my potential risks and how I worked to mitigate them. There is some measure of risk in every sexual or social encounter, it is up to you as to how you come to terms with it.","PrEP. PrEP. PrEP. PrEP.

Regular STI testing. At least every 90 days.

You can set a rule of no PNP. Depending on how much control you want over the scene -- open door cum dump to you approve everyone who comes over -- you might have some luck keeping people loaded out of fucking around with you.

It's your sexuality and your body. There are risks involved in everything you do. Take steps to minimize the risks here. Give it a shot. See if this is right for you.",It has been my fantasy but never tried. For STIs part you are gonna just take it. Take prep and get essential vaccines (Hep A B and HPV etc..). Others are mostly curable.,Screen your partners and trust your gut. If anything is shady don’t let them have access to you.
146,How do you pee in a chastity cage? And can you train yourself to cum hands free while being in chastity?,r/TopsAndBottoms,jqszao,20,,True,True,0.95,"Sit down to pee, toilet paper to dry the cage as needed. Or get a cage that includes a urethral insert so that the stream *probably* won't spray everywhere. 

I've never been able to cum hands free, but if love to get there eventually.",[deleted],,,
147,Do tops like chastity?,r/TopsAndBottoms,lh8vy2,14,,True,True,0.8,"

Personally I love it. I find the idea of a bottom getting fucked and not touching his dick at all incredibly hot. Chastity is not always needed, as long as he doesn't touch himself either way. The best bottoms I've had are the ones that accept their hole as their primary sexual organ, so to speak. 

I especially love fucking a bottom until they learn to cum handless - just like a girl would. Incredibly fucking hot.","A few years ago, I asked a guy I was regularly playing with if he would mind if I wore my cage during our next time together. He had never heard of chastity and wondered why I would want to wear one. I explained the aesthetic of it, the power dynamic of it, how it makes me horny/attentive, and how he would really have my focus on him if he would let me wear it (I didn't want to weird him out or neglect to get his approval first). 

Long story short...he *loved* it! He enjoyed how much I was all about him haha. He actually asked me to wear it every time we met up after that. I won him over with it. So there's one top that liked it.","This is another of those questions that has no neat and clean answer.

""Do bottoms like..."" or ""Do tops like..."" is always the same answer: some do, some don't, many are indifferent. 

In this case I know some into it but there seem to be more that aren't into it than those that are. Being a top doesn't mean they don't like having a dick to play with.",I don't like it.,"I lock up because my penis and testicles are not needed.

Some like it and are fixated on it.
Some don’t care as long as they’re getting off.
Some hate it and insist I have a penile orgasm."
148,Bottoms in chastity?,r/TopsAndBottoms,j90lbv,13,,True,True,0.9,"I think it’s kind of hot, yes. The only issue I’d have is that I don’t like bottoms that have no pubes, so that can pull or pinch a bit if they’re not careful. 

I also thought it was hot that a friend was dating a service top (submissive top) that he kept locked up. The only time he got to come out to play was when my friend wanted to be fucked, otherwise he had no outlet at all.","Yes, I do. It’s not required, but what could be a more beautiful gift from a submissive bottom than giving up his right to orgasm without his dom’s permission?","Complete submission is the biggest turn on, and chastity is the surest way to submit. Lock your dick up and give me the key. 🥵",i think i would like to give this a try!,there are bi bottoms like me who also like pussy so they prob wont cage
149,Wearing chastity to CrossFit?,r/TopsAndBottoms,jj9ank,12,,True,True,1.0,It is but wear tight briefs to support it. It may pull off.,Yes. And make sure you do what I do and show it off when you can,"If you feel pain take it off. 

You'll want a jockstrap to hold in place","i wear underarmour 3"" tech boxerjocks for crossfit.  keeps the cage snug but not too tight to my body.","Only if you have a nice one! I've tried moving around with my cheap cage on, and sometimes some skin gets caught, or a nut will decide to recede past the the initial ring. Seriously, it's an ""and I- OOP"" kind of moment."
150,Is chastity harmfull for health?,r/TopsAndBottoms,fjk7zk,10,,True,True,0.92,"I've never had an issue and I've been locked up for 2 weeks at a time for the last two years we take breaks and stuff. If something hurts stop doing it, I get a weird pain in my pelvic area and what I think it is, is an internal pulling or something it goes away after I take it off typically. Most important thing is to listen to your body and take measurements of everything too small and it can cause damage, too big and whats the point","In spite of what teenage boys have been telling their high school prom dates since the Stone Age, you WON'T die if you fail to cum x times a day/week/month/whatever.  When your body needs to get rid of excess sperm, you have a wet dream.

What IS extremely painful is extended edging and the resulting case of ""blue balls""  Been there done that.  NOT FUN!.

If you want to try it, get your sexy butt down to the local leather shop and ask the nice man with the nose ring and 5 ear piercings standing  behind the counter to sell you a cage to use on yourself.   Yes.  Use it on yourself.  Will it be as exciting as having your master lock it on and walk away with the key?  No, it won't.  But knowing  how the cage feels and how it impacts your sex life while YOU'RE in charge will prepare you for giving over control.

Make sense?","If it hurts take it off. Should be comfortable. 

Your dick will temporarily be smaller if you wear it for extended times. Itll come back.",,
151,Why does it seem like so many bottoms like to be treated like sh*t?,r/TopsAndBottoms,ilf3lz,23,,True,True,0.93,"I can see there being a time and a place for everything. But, as a top, it seems most bottoms I meet are expecting and wanting it to be rough and aggressive. They want to be used and abused, figuratively speaking. I get asked all the time about how dominant I am, what I’m going to do to treat them like a little bitch, boss them around, etc. I’ve had guys get annoyed when I don’t want to choke them, hold them down and restrain them, etc. Sure, that can be fun. But it’s a big expectation to have to live up to all the time. I’m certainly not passive by any means, and I’m usually pretty assertive. But, sometimes I just want to have some calm fun with someone- where both of us are equals enjoying one another’s bodies and company. Call me vanilla, but I don’t always have a ravenous urge to barge in, rip his clothes off, tear it up and take what’s mine. Just sometimes ;-)","porn, I suspect, drives some appetites.",[deleted],"I am definitely not like this as a bottom, and it kind of concerns me that some bottoms seem to want sex to be selfish and one-sided?  Sex is about two people feeding each other energy -   
it's not a one-way transfer of energy. And if you think that sounds ""sappy"" or something then holy shit you are missing out on SO much. It should be enjoyable as fuck for both parties, and isn't just a means to get the top off.  Idk it seems super weird to me...almost like these bottoms don't respect themselves or something.  I love a man being dominant with me and I love being able to make him feel empowered, but there's a difference between being dominant and literally using a person solely for your own purposes as though they are a tool.  Such a soulless approach seems so distant and disconnected and I kinda feel sorry for these people.",I accepted my inner whore. You dont have to. Just fuck me
152,Bottoming for My First Threesome and DP. Help!,r/TopsAndBottoms,gqh68s,11,,True,True,0.84,"For the dp practice with two dildos. Then on the day warm up on a large toy. Remember your going be stretched and ploughed at the same time for the length of the two dicks so make sure you can take two dildos past your second sphincter when they are stroking at the same and different rhythms.
Dps are great fun btw and your rectum is going to spasm and if those tops can keep fucking you through your spasms you’re going to have an anal orgasm.",[deleted],"As a frequent fistee and bottom for dp, poppers and lube do the trick. Work your hole prior to fucking. Use an inflatable buttplug and wear it for some time. Do not deflate but slowly push it out. Repeat that process, you will see your hole opens up and will gove way to two dicks or a fist",Getting dpd is super hot once you get a good rythem. The best way to start is to have both guys start at the same time with the head of their cocks. Once they're in just push back at your own pace till they're all the way in then the can start to fuck you. Honest my favorite part of a threesome is getting spit roasted. I love having a cock in my mouth while I'm getting fucked.,"Omg I want this so bad, but I'm kinda scared of it. Let us know how it goes! Just make sure you're comfortable and safe. Good luck buddy, take care and have fun!"
153,Any bottoms in here ever been DP'd?,r/TopsAndBottoms,djbp3i,61,,True,True,0.95,"Tried once, but the two guys involved were just too big. It was kind of a spur of the moment attempt, we decided that taking turns would work out better lol. Honestly I'd rather be spitroasted.","Yep! It takes some coordination and stretching but once you get it holy does it feel intense. I’m a cock hungry dick pig and I need as much dick in me as possible.

read about my crazy sex weekend where I got [DP'd twice here](https://www.reddit.com/r/TopsAndBottoms/comments/db6wy0/had_a_crazy_weekend_got_dpd_twice/).","IMHO yes, it's hard work but, so worth it. It's important to be very clean so you can be very relaxed. Most any major city will be good to find people. Let us know how it goes.","Never got it to work. You remember that thing at the Oscars with Liza Minelli frantically trying to get into the back of the movie star group selfie? It was like that, but with a penis instead of Liza Minelli. You might be a legend, but if there’s no room, there’s no room.",Try it you may like it
154,How to DP,r/TopsAndBottoms,9yzw78,8,,True,True,0.85,"I asked this and got some **very** helpful advice here:
https://www.reddit.com/r/TopsAndBottoms/comments/8eeh1i/double_penetration_advice/",,,,
155,Trying DP - any tips?,r/TopsAndBottoms,2ocflt,14,,True,True,0.94,I'm pretty sure it's two tips. Enjoy!!,Clean 'er out _real good_ beforehand.  ,"I've done it a few times all with one ex and a particular friend of his. My ex was 7"" and a good girth and his friend was 8"" and quite thick. 

- one should be bareback to avoid condoms rubbing against each other. 

- Don't be surprised if you can't continue too long. That's a lot of dick up your ass. 

- I did it sitting on the friend's cock and facing him then my bf came up behind me and slid his cock in. That seemed to work best. Only my bf could really thrust as it was too awkward for his friend to. 

- nobody was able to cum in that position. My bf was not able to fuck me hard enough to cum--too painful for me. 

- douche. 

","No tips, unless you want a third. Pictures please. ","It's definitely an advanced move. :) Plan for intensity, not endurance. "
156,DP thread: Done it? Want to do it? Love it? Hate it? Got tips? Stories?,r/TopsAndBottoms,28megz,2,,True,True,0.61,"My ex (yeah same one from the other thread) and I did this a couple of times with a couple of other tops. My bf was always bare, the third used a condom. (Two cocks with condoms can cause friction and wreck the rubbers.)

Usually the third would get on his back and I'd sit on his cock, facing the third. He'd fuck me for a while from underneath.  One guy in particular, Jeff, had a pretty big thick 8"" cock. It usually took me a little while to get used to it. I'm 6'6"" but still it took a little time. 

Then once I was warmed up, my bf would enter me from behind. My ex was about 7"" with decent thickness too. Let me tell you, they WRECKED my hole. I never felt more like a total bottom than during those sessions.  My ass got gaping wide to accommodate two big penises in me. It helped that physically I was a little bigger than the two tops inside me, but I felt totally fucking full. The only thing I could focus on was the two guys digging deep into my ass. I moaned like a fucking little bitch so loud. It wasn't painful per se but I was stretched to the max.  It was fun being the bottom for two guys at once. I liked the fact these guys were probably enjoying the fact that they were wrecking my hole together and were making good use of me. I felt submissive and lower as it was my ass getting double plowed--in a good way. 

My bf of course liked to talk dirty, talking about how loose a slut I must be to be able to take two dicks. SO HOT!  

Naturally it takes a little while to relax to the point where my bf could actually start to thrust. They had to stay stationary for a couple of minutes so my battered hole could stretch out. My face was probably all contorted I was whimpering.  Eventually my bf was thrusting about 75% of the power he normally plows me with. Jeff underneath couldn't really thrust at all but was enjoying it. 

Eventually my bf started quickening his speed and shot his load bare back deep in my hole, with his big dicked top buddy still inside. I was in a good agony and took the further humiliation in stride. My bf said later it was probably the most powerful orgasm he'd ever had. 

Afterward Jeff got behind me, took my bf's place and fucked me until he shot his load in the condom up my ass, lubed with my bf's cum. 

I got my ass used hard and was stretched out pretty loose. Rekt. 

But it wasn't permanent or anything, I was back to normal soon enough. ",I enjoy the idea. But I love my hole and feel like it would never be the same after DP :( ,"I've done it a couple times. As a top, it's hot
To feel your cock against your bro's dick while you just WRECK an ass together. It's hot to feel the bottom whimper and totally submit to two dicks. It's definitely a challenge to figure out what to do with 6 legs tho ",[deleted],"In theory I think it's hot, or it's really hot to watch in porn. But I don't want my hole to become that loose...two tops can tag team my ass all they want, but one dick at a time please."
157,"Those who have done double penetration, what does it feel like?",r/TopsAndBottoms,w45sjl,114,,True,True,0.99,"As a top, it was more enjoyable mentally than physically. 

The *idea* of two us fucking the same arse at the same time was hot. 

The *action* of two of us fucking the same arse at the same time was awkward. Trying to find the right position. Trying not to slip out. Trying to make sure I didn't push the other man out of his position. 

It was fun to try, but not fun enough to do again.","as a bottom, it feels like two penises inside me.","Best version of that I ever had was getting it from a dude and a dildo. Everything you imagine DP to be without those other two legs in the way. 

And yeah, it's intense, and pretty amazing,","As a top, it's a fun experience but not one I'd seek out again. It looks awesome, it's fun to do; but, overall, it's awkward and not the best sensations. 

But I'd recommend everyone try it at least once just to say you've done it.","4 days ago, me and a friend met a power bottom on grindr who wanted to get dp'd. I laid on my back on the edge of the couch, my legs hanging over, the ""hole"" laid on top of me on his back, he held his legs back, i went in from behind, my friend went in a missionary position, Got a good steady rhythm going, as i pushed in, he pushed out a little and we alternated. F\*\*ked the hole for a good 20-30 mins. (we are both 8.5-9 inch girthy daddies), made that bottom cum twice. When my friend shot his load it sent me into a frenzy feeling warm ass, warm cock, hot cum on my cock made me blast hard! That hole was leaking cum like crazy. Were hooking up again next week sometime."
158,Does Dirty Talk Turn You On?,r/TopsAndBottoms,6bq971,20,,True,True,0.85,"Hell yes!! The dirtier, the better! ",Such a turn on! ,"I love it. Call me a slut, tell me how you're going to use my body.",It's good if it seems sincere. But there's a fine line between hot and cold on this one. The moment female body parts and such are mentioned I'm done. ,Not much. Imo twhat turns me on the most is just heavy breathing & grunting. Then again I like it rough sooo
159,Bottoms: do you like being face fucked? What can a top do to make you enjoy this more?,r/TopsAndBottoms,jdut3r,89,,True,True,0.97,"I like to start out doing my thing on a man's cock, but I want him to start guiding me a little bit like pulling my hair a hand on my head; gradually getting more forceful. I love a good face fucking, I just need some build up","I personally love having my head guided onto a tops cock, especially when he's grabbed onto my hair. But it is a an acquired taste (no pun intended) and not all subs are into it. Your assumption that subs are concerned about their gag reflexes is right on but if they've open to trying it, you can try to ease them into it by being more gentle to start with.","For me it's a masochist thing so I actually love being grabbed, forced, gagged and even hit during throatfucks. But I prefer to start by sucking gently and deepthroating by myself. My partner asks me if I want it to get rough, and I say yes, and then he starts facefucking me. Until then I'm priming my throat for it by deepthroating at my own pace. Maybe try that?","Just in general when I give a bj, I just like to go my own pace. Unless i'm in a particularly submissive move and facefucking is on my mind, I don't like the thrusting usually, unless it's involentary/convulsing/etc lol. I'm way more of a chill bj giver so if I'm just giving a bj, I will go at my own pace and just want them to relax a bit.

Also, when I get a BJ i do the same and kind of just sink down and relax. It's the same with rimming too tbh. I just find oral a bit more calming instead of wanting them to choke me with their cock (but ya know, sometimes that is what i want)",I love being face fucked It’s hard finding tops that get in to it but have found a few that are great at it. One guy I was seeing loved fucking my face against the wall the back of my head was as sore as my throat. His dirty talk and feeding poppers made it hot. No one has said this but verbal all ways makes it hotter for me. I can only take the head over the bed for a few mins at a time I have bad sinuses and feel like I’m drowning in my own snot.
160,Question about blow jobs and/or throat fucking,r/TopsAndBottoms,juv8qv,10,,True,True,0.92,Maybe he likes that the choke?,Dominance,"What do you do?

Let him fuck your throat, and if you can stick your tongue out and try to lick his balls or move around the shaft at least. If he’s throat fucking you (and you’re down with that) you’re basically a fleshlight, butt you can still move your tongue and maybe use our hands on his balls for example.","First of all, if you don't enjoy it or if it hurts, you don't have to do it. You can hold the base of his cock to control his thrusts.
I've found that deepthroating really depends on the angle of his cock. If his cock points upwards or straight, then try being on your hands and knees in doggy position while he thrusts. Or lie on your back with your head over the edge of the bed (but beware, he may get even rougher in this position.)","For you, it's your natural gag reflex that causes you to choke up and trust me, it's super normal. You can try practicing with large dildos or even bananas to get used to the sensation. 

For him, it's definitely a show of dominance, essentially telling you that you're his bitch now! 😉"
161,Any Tops into fucking throat?,r/TopsAndBottoms,9b3a7u,14,,True,True,0.94,Yes. My tip for you is to make sure you're really well practiced. If you throw up while sucking a guy who's truly into rough fucking will keep on going until he cums.,"Nothing gets me hotter than gagging and choking, as long as you don't stop!

I won't stop even if you puke, I figure it's your job to stop it when you need to.

I fact I will hold you in place until you make me stop",Oh hell yeah. I love to throatfuck. Love putting a boy’s head over the edge of the bed and just fucking his throat like a pussy. For sure. ,Hell yeah. It’s basically at the top of the wishlist to get someone that will do this.,"My guy I'm seeing doesn't let me, because he thinks it hurts me.  Lol.  I have no gag reflex."
162,Any experience with fisting?,r/TopsAndBottoms,l0u91n,3,,True,True,0.68,"Be very, very careful, not for the reasons you might think but because.... ***it's fucking addictive!***

I love getting fisted. If I don't get to do it a few times a month, I start to crave it.","r/gayfisting is your friend

As the other replier said the stretch is addicting. You'll have a collection of toys worth 4 figures before you know it.","Start slow, use j-lube (lot's of it) and be prepared for it to take a long time to actually get to be able to take a full fist to the wrist. And if you're not using gloves then be sure that nails are filled smooth.
If using toys to train then use good quality silicone ones that are slightly squishy.

Also get to know the difference between feeling stretched and being in pain. It sounds weird but  while you can push your limits you should know when to stop your session, especially when starting out.

If there's any blood then stop! A **tiny** tear might only show a little bit of pink in the lube. But if you keep stretching it then it can become something worse. At least don't play with anything larger (or much longer) should you see that. And take a few days between sessions to recover.",,
163,Any tops into fisting?,r/TopsAndBottoms,jm6pfj,4,,True,True,0.75,"Fisting bottom here. Being fisted is amazing. It's down right additive. My partner tells me he really likes the sense of complete submission. As u/Brokenblacksmith said, it's all about the begging. Once he's had his hand in there and pulled it out, I'll literally say or do anything to get it back in there.

He fucks me before, during, and after. Often I have to finish him off orally though because fucking my after a good long fisting session is like throwing a hot dog down a hallway. Plus by then, he's already pissed up my ass and that can get messy.","im not super into it, so i cant say for sure but of the few times i have fisted, the biggest turn on for me was the sounds my partner was making, amd how he was begging for more. however i enjoy those both  ""normaly"" as well.

depending on how extreme you fist and what size you are, i would say sex before is typical, it would also give the bottom a chance to losen up more.

for me it was my partner who asked for it, but for somebi imagine its just a step up from fingering.",,,
164,How to get rid of your gag reflex?,r/TopsAndBottoms,i049nt,13,,True,True,0.93,"A tooth brush can really help you. When brushing your teeth, stick your tongue out and then put it on the front part of your tongue and start running it backwards. When you feel you are going to gag, stop there and then move the brush from side to side on the sensitive spot. Learn how to deal with not gagging. Do this every day and try go a little further every time.

Eventually you may be able to bypass your reflex or at least reduce the sensitivity of it. Another tip is to breathe out so that all air is out of your lungs before you put something down your mouth as that also restless the sensitivity of your gag reflex.",Haven't gotten rid of it.   A Dom I see likes that I haven't. Lol,"The gag reflex is psychological. It’s there by evolution to freak you out when something is about to go wrong. You tame it by teaching yourself to go to a Zen-like state where you free yourself from that innate fear. Set up something with someone where you tell them in advance that you want to practice getting rid of your gag reflex rather than just getting them off ASAP (though ultimately with a happy ending for them of course). It might be a little bit embarrassing to be that honest, but there are definitely guys out there who will be turned on by it. Guys who aren’t my regulars usually have a hard time deepthroating me, and I enjoy training them to do better.","There is really nothing you can do but just train yourself to hold out longer before gagging. Gagging is a natural process and it is extremely hard to overcome. Heck my husband had a bad gag reflex until he had his tonsils removed a few years ago. I didn’t used to have one but I do now, go figure.","Not sure it's possible. If it were I think the guys in porn would get rid of theirs. Wishful thinking though. If you ever figure it out, let us know because I hate mine as well."
165,Is it ok if I gag?,r/TopsAndBottoms,er511a,29,,True,True,0.93,"Love it when my cocksucker gags - I'll often grab the back of his head as I feel I'm about to cum and force myself down his throat, my balls on his chin, looking into his eyes, I cum powerfully when he chokes & gags & the tears run down his cheeks - beautiful.","I love when a guy gags on my dick--I love the feeling of knowing that my dick is going hard and deep enough into his face that his body can't physically handle it, and I also love knowing that he's forcing himself to take it anyway.

The only important part for me is making sure he keeps going even if he throws up. Bonus points if he makes eye contact the entire time.","It’s *more* than okay for some guys. I don’t have much of a gag reflex, but sometimes I’ll kinda pretend if I know a dude is into that. 😅

(whoever said men can’t fake it clearly weren’t thinking of this scenario)","To choke is the second best compliment for a top, saying thank you is the first.
Be proud he can choke you!","Yeah gag on my dick boy, it’s hot as fuck"
166,how do i stop gagging so much while sucking dick?,r/TopsAndBottoms,9ygyng,8,,True,True,0.9,Practice.,I have the same problem and I've heard that when you brush your teeth just try and go further back. It's a good way to make sure you are practicing every day and you can progressively work your way up,I love gagging on cock,[deleted],
167,Bottom boys who use poppers to open up their holes?,r/TopsAndBottoms,khv90w,15,,True,True,0.84,My partner doesn't seem to mind me huffing while he fists me.,"not a big fan of poppers generally, don't enjoy the smell, but it did once help me take a fwb I could never take balls deep. So as a top, it might be a turn on if it's like the only way they can take me fully. Dunno how to explain that but I could see it being a turn on a bit. But generally eh, pausing every minute to re-use them can get annoying and i dunno, just usually not in the mood for super raunchy rough fuckin i guess.","I personally love poppers. I do like it when my bottom uses them as well. Not required of course but I don’t know, it’s nice when we are both in a popper high. For me, I get a feeling of being in love with the boy I’m with. Kind of strange I know. But I’ll start calling my bottom my baby, and just getting more romantic.",Lol i dont care if that means i get to fuck balls deep,"Neutral to slightly negative, usually neutral.

I mean, on the one hand, whatever it takes to take it, baby, yeah!

But on the other hand, I like foreplay a lot, and the intimate responsivity during play too. I mean, if he’s struggling to take me, I’ll adjust our position or pace, or stay deeper and retune the action to subtle flourishes rather than wham-bams, or I’ll use whispers and kisses to relax him, or all of the above. Then the sex is hotter and lasts longer. If, instead, he takes an overeager sniff of poppers, dilates, and goes lust-crazy, *needing* the wham-bam-bam-bam, then it kind of robs us both of that better pleasure.

There’s a middle ground though. I’ve gone all night before (something people say, but hardly ever literally do) with a guy who used poppers very sparingly. And he loved that slow, passionate sex. Poppers, to him, were more about heightening the sensation than loosening up and wiling out. I’ll never forget the way he said, “Feel it,” like he matured me as a top."
168,"Desperate to try bondage, humiliation and pet play. Can’t find anyone",r/TopsAndBottoms,6oj04t,9,,True,True,0.91,Recon,"Recon is your best bet. FetLife also works. There's also Craig's List, an adventure that will either inspire you or crush your soul.",Where are you at? If you're in a large US city you can probably join a more niche dating/hookup site (Fetlife or similar) and find someone near you with the same interests. Or just stick on Grindr and put it in your profile you want to try those fetishes out.,Where are you?,"If you're in a small town it may be tough. I would suggest making friends online through Recon or similar sites and perhaps traveling to events like Dore Alley, Folsom, IML, or MAL. There are lots of workshops at all those and experienced people willing to train newbies. "
169,Straight/bi guys: into making out/kissing?,r/TopsAndBottoms,gak16b,1,,True,True,0.55,"It may not be popular but you asked personal preference... no , I don’t kiss on the mouth... nothing against it just not my thing with guys...",As a straight* guy I can totally confirm I like kissing,Bi here making out makes cumming that much stronger,Well for me making out/kissing is a must,"Straight/flexible here. Top. 

I'm down to rim the right ass, but apart from that I don't put my mouth on a guy."
170,Can moaning be unattractive?,r/TopsAndBottoms,i8xe6h,41,,True,True,0.93,Don’t be ashamed of your moaning. I pefer some mones so I know the bottom is enjoying the time togeather. I’m sure your boyfriend actually likes them he’s just trying to annoy u,Only when it's fake do I find it unattractive,I love a guy who moans. The only time I can say moaning is unattractive when it is constant loud annoying moan that you sometimes see in porn. Then that a turn ofd,"I’m a bottom myself and there’s nothing I hate more in bed than a silent top... I mean me, I can’t be quiet. When I’m enjoying it I can’t control the moans and such... but the guys who are crickets weird me out. Make some noise boo. 

But I also hate fake moans. They aren’t all the same and perfect... if they sound anything like a porn I’m immediately turned off.","I'm a top and I personally like it when my bottom partner  moans. It's really a turn on for me. It also reassures me that what I'm doing feels good for my partner and feels good for me too.

When he said that it sounded so fake is that maybe when he's doing something where he expects you to moan you don't moan and when he does something that he thinks doesn't feel good you moan a lot. That's why he thinks that you're faking it.

I think he likes it because he teases you about moaning. It's like he's mating call telling you ""let's fuck babe"". 🤣🤣🤣

try holding your moan back for a while and let it out when you can't hild it anymore."
171,What’s an okay/hot level of moaning for you?,r/TopsAndBottoms,goxz04,11,,True,True,0.88,"More. I love it. As long as it’s authentic. 


Just don’t fake it like 1990s Bel Ami porn where the bottoms sound like wounded sea otters or Peter Griffin holding his injured knee and going “ahhhhhhh sssssss ahhhhhhhhh ssssss”","I like to hear a low moan, breathing heavy then I love it when he gets louder when he cums","As long as it's authentic and not a porn influenced performance, any level is fine.","Total top here if you want my opinion: no over the top moaning(like a porn star)  but most moaning is awesome if it's genuine it'll be hotter, whimpering and squealing really turns me on too.",Softly and not continuously
172,Why do I always whimper heavily when I am with a guy?,r/TopsAndBottoms,k4n52r,210,,True,True,0.96,Probably not what you want to hear... but that’s really hot. I don’t see a problem here unless your partner doesn’t like it,I like it when a guy whimpers. It’s hot,When my bottom whimpers or moans it just makes me harder inside him. I love seeing a boy struggle a bit on my cock,Because you're a good boy.,"I do the same thing. Little whimpering noises, soft moans, tiny gasps. It always feels incredibly sexy and makes me even more aroused. I assume it's a natural sound of submission, like dogs and wolves will whimper when submitting to an Alpha."
173,How do I stop moaning everytime i get fucked?,r/TopsAndBottoms,kik3qo,10,,True,True,0.92,Moaning is so hot keep it going,"I had worked myself out of moaning — embarrassed, moan loud and frequently, would constantly stifle with my mouth locked shut — until I found a top who broke me of that. In his opinion, most tops like to here the moans. Since he was also dominant, he said a bottom holding back on moans, on being loud, on being vocal — even crying — was resisting his domination. “Fuck what the neighbors think.” Made sense. I’ve stopped holding back. The tops really appreciate it.",Put his underwear in your mouth or get a ball gag,"if it's natural and doesn't sound like a banchee keep it up general consensus on here at least is that natural moans = hot af, fake moans = not hot af",In my opinion... why would you want to stop... it's hot to hear how my cock causes the recipient to moan or scream in pleasure...
174,"Tops, what kind of moans are you into?",r/TopsAndBottoms,l9w1sh,35,,True,True,0.94,"Natural ones. The ones that feel I'm fucking it out of you and you're not putting on or exaggerating. 

""Porn moaning"" is the most off-putting thing I can imagine. It's terrible when he sounds really feminine doing it for me because it reminds me of straight porn where a woman even looks at a cock and starts screaming her head off. hehe 

But anything natural. The forced stuff feels like performance art to me and leaves me cold.","Depends on the guy, really.Some moaning from certain guys is different from others.

I was fcking doggy jacked dude and he was whimpering and grunting  most of the time which i found hot.

 But also i was going missionary on a fem twink and he had his legs and hands wrapped around my body and was moaning ""daddy"" in his pitched voice which really turn me on.

Really depends on a guy.","Uhm, natural, masculine and slightly “I’m hurting” moans. 

No feminine high-pitched moans and whimpers for me, sorry :(","The ""fuck, it hurts, but don't you dare stop"" moans.","i don’t want bottoms to moan for me, i want them to moan involuntarily, and whatever comes out it perfect"
175,"Tops, how do you like your bottoms to moan?",r/TopsAndBottoms,gqz82e,109,,True,True,0.93,"I think your question is essentially whether tops are interested in a more high-pitched moan (that can be interpreted as more feminine) or if tops only like moaning that sounds more “masc.”

I think it totally depends on the guy. Personally, I don’t like excessive moaning to the point where it feels like you’re just faking it (some dudes start moaning even when you touch a random body part and it’s like... wait nothing even happened yet lol). It also doesn’t have to be THAT loud (we can hear you, calm down lol). Whether the moaning is a higher or lower register is honestly the least of my concerns.","As long as you're moaning, do it however you like.","I'm mostly between 1 and 3.

Most guys I've met love the fact that I'm 6'2, pretty toned, hairy, but once there's a dick inside me I am moaning like a slut 😏",however they want,"In my experience most tops don't care *how* you moan as much as they care about you doing it. I've been told some bottoms can be very silent.

I had a top point out how hot it was that I'd gasp and let out long and low moans while he was dicking me, he said most of his bottoms just scream or stay quiet"
176,Do bottoms get more effeminate when they moan? ,r/TopsAndBottoms,ktmx7u,28,,True,True,1.0,"I feel like a bit of a walking paradox with this. I‘m a “masculine” (as identified by others, I know 🙄) total bottom and tend to be very expressive and verbal during sex. I can be passive to the point of complete submission or the most aggressive power bottom you’ve ever met. Either way I am definitely the grunting, growling type. I feel like this is probably not the default expectation for a total bottom and I’m slightly self-conscious about it.

If I’m passive and submitting, I do think my moaning can pitch up a little the more ”dominated” I feel, just not to the point of sounding like a woman (which feels unnatural and performative to me). But I do think, subconsciously or instinctually, there‘s some kind of primal association between feeling passive and feminine. Can’t quite put my finger on it.

If I’m power bottoming, it‘s straight up primal and animalistic. I’ll milk his cock with my hole, ride him, pull him deep into me, etc. I get really verbal and egg him on... “fuck yeah“, “your cock feels so good”, “pound that hole”, etc. Nothing remotely “girly” or delicate, except paradoxically I love talk about breeding... “knock me up”, “breed me”, “I’m gonna put a baby in you”. And that is absolutely tied to primal animal instincts around breeding, pregnancy, the purpose of mating. (For guys who are really turned \*off\* by this, I’m quite curious as to why...)","for me, when I used to have sex I remember making ""feminine"" noises and moans once my partner is inside me. It felt good and he seemed to like it. But if he had stopped and asked me to be more manly in my moaning then I could have done that just as well. Actually I remember doing it and he seemed to be equally turned on by that, and also by me calling him daddy, my man, a real man, etc. It all felt right in the moment and I loved saying it to him.

Unfortunately I did fall in love with him when he only saw me as a hookup. I hope I will find a top boyfriend who can make me moan and doesn't break my heart :)","Bottom on the masculine side. Sub in bed. And I moan and beg like a girl when getting fucked. Loud, too.I was embarrassed  about this for a long time. Would stifle my moans. Wound up with a dominant top who saw that as resisting being dominated. He wanted to hear every moan, beg, or cry, no matter how it sound or how loud it was. He “broke” me of holding back. I’m verbal even jacking off.

I don’t know where the embarrassment / shame  came from, if there is even any one place it started. It does feel a hell of a lot better not holding back. I’ve had more guys really get off on it than not. But man do I feel vulnerable moaning like that. I guess that’s the point.","I'm not that much of a vocal top during sex, bu that does not mean I'm not having a good time.  I don't mind if the bottom I'm with is vocal or not, we both know what we want and how it gets done.  I mean It does not turn me on as much as it could, sometimes I cannot help but laugh thanks to some comedians doing bits on similar sounding things.  

I just want to say in other sex/relationship subs this topic is pretty much bi-weekly if not weekly. Those posts just come off like the women making them want to force straight men to be more vocal, even if it's not natural.  They do not want to hear any sort of replies that are not about these straight guys submitting no matter what.  It's just so strange to me.","I don't like the forced verbal enunciations. For me it feels fake. I prefer the involuntary sounds that comes from special circumstances like when a dick hits the deepest part of an ass and the bottom squeals, or when a bottom chokes on a cock, or when the top is cumming and grunts with every ejaculation."
177,Impregnation kink?,r/TopsAndBottoms,h14pl9,59,,True,True,0.94,"I’ve been trying to make my boyfriend pregnant for over 20 years. No luck yet, but we aren’t giving up trying.","Bottom, and my heart just fluttered at the thought of being impregnated","Bisexual top here - love impregnating boys and girls! It's interesting for men because some bottoms seem to enjoy the feminising aspect, but for a lot of them it's different to that, it's sort of primal; the idea of having that symbol of virility inside themselves, I think.","I love the thought of getting impregnated by a top. It's just so hot, taking their seed inside you! I'd love to find a top into it hehe.",I’m a top who wants to impregnate bottoms
178,How sucking sub bottom's nipples make Dom alpha- sub bottom relations stronger ;),r/TopsAndBottoms,d6htb0,32,FUCK ME FRIDAY,True,True,0.92,"top here, i kinda hate my body so wouldn't want my nipples sucked

but would absolutely love to suck a bottoms nipples","Hmm, I just had my nipples pierced last Friday so guess I will have to see how that all works once they heal.","My nipples are extremely sensitive. I've literally had to yell at guys and pull their head up to get them to be more careful. 

There was one guy who was doing it so hard that it felt like rug burn the next day.",[deleted],
179,How to stimulate nipples,r/TopsAndBottoms,klfr88,20,,True,True,1.0,"Oooooh I loooove nipple play. Start with over the shirt sensually touching or teasing. But act like you’re NOT trying to turn him on. Just like put you arm over his shoulder and rest your arm and let your fingers every now and then touch his nipples. He’ll probably eventually turn red or ask what you’re doing. Just act innocent and keep doing it (if you can tell he’s enjoying it). 

You can also when your cuddling or laying beside each other start rubbing his chest and IGNORE his nipples. Get really close to them and then don’t touch them. Hell probably start to go mad thinking they’re going to be touched and then they’re not touched. Bonus points if you can use your nails (like if you’re scratching his chest intimately, then drag your finger just beside his nipple)

You can also gently rub the area around the tip of the nipple and slightly pinch them from time to time. Maybe even pull on them or twist a little. 

The tongue is a great tool too when doing nipple play.","Paradise electro stimulation!
As for yours try vacuum cups","Only just recently started, but generally I prefer much lighter contact. Hard punches and such just hurt and not pleasurably. Rubbing through a shirt, just brushing it up against by arm, just putting a finger on there and just wiggling back and forth, etc are all good. The guy I was FWB before loved for me to do that while also lightly rubbing his cock - not enough to cum, but to tease him a ton. Like a single finger from the balls to tip, meanwhile licking licking over one and rubbing my band against his other one. Drove him mad once I was able to get down just the right amount of force",,
180,How do I get larger nipples?,r/TopsAndBottoms,h8uui5,6,,True,True,1.0,"I don't find that the pumps really work to make them larger permanently. They certainly fill up with fluid after being pumped but then they just go back to normal.

Clamps are what you want... and a variety of them. I use cloths pins, vice-grips, and actual nipple clamps from the leather shops. These will all build up a column of scar tissue in the nipple and make them stick out more.

At this point, mine look like they are prehensile.",Some use pumps.,There are a lot of pumps and things out there - but most folks start with snake bite suckers from places like Amazon - as they're cheap,,
181,Nude Resorts?,r/TopsAndBottoms,jj86b6,89,,True,True,0.99,"Sawmill Campground is between Tampa and Orlando in central Florida. The more pubic areas shun overt sexual activity but walking along on the nature trails and look over there, a fuck bench.","The nude resorts in Palm Springs tend to be more cruisy than other places I've been. There is a gay campground in pennsylvania called The Woods. Clothing optional. They have a pool and dance hall and even a restaurant and stage. Things are pretty legit for the most part, but sex is always available if you want it. The crowds at all these places swing MUCH older except on the weekends.","I’ve been to a couple in Palm Desert, it’s been 20 years. It was fun, extremely hot during the day. We were on a lot of drugs and alcohol so it made it more fun than it was, I think. A couple guys hooked up in the hot tub at night, it was pretty low key.",CCBC in Palm Springs is nice. Cruising during both day and night. You can fuck out in the open or privately. You can sit in the pool or hot tub and watch guys fuckjng late at night right on the grass. The public porn rooms and steam room are closed during COVID. But if you don’t want to be cruised by other guys they are pretty cool about leaving you alone. I only go with my partner so we line to watch and maybe have guys watch us. Fuck in our room with the curtains open or out in the open. Rooms are nice and clean. Good location. I recommend.,"There is a clothing optional campground on Lake Erie in Canada and it's men only.  It's an older crowd than I like unfortunately though that seems to be most places.  It's quite a bit cheaper than the other family friendly LGBT campground in the area and the facilities are top notch.  They also don't have a liquor license and you can't buy alcohol there.  This means you're also allowed to bring your own booze and drink it wherever you want and bring a cooler to the club.  They throw free keggers at the pool and people who have trailers there throw events with free food and drinks.

As for hooking up it usually happens in the forest and there's slings, benches, glory holes, etc.  You can hook up wherever you want aside from the pool area and washrooms due to government health restrictions.  I never saw anyone hook up in the club though.

The downside is that you need clothes at the nearby beach or to go boating as it's not directly on a lake but there is one nearby, as well as restaurants.

[http://www.get-tothepoint.com/](http://www.get-tothepoint.com/)"
182,What’s your favorite poses for nudes? Sending or receiving,r/TopsAndBottoms,efi32y,39,,True,True,0.91,"Tops please more POV pics from the bottom up looking up your junk and torso, it’s pretty hot!","I love seeing a 'basket-of-berries' shot from behind. Getting to see a dude's fuckhole, cock AND balls at a glance is fucking awesome!!","I like dickpics where you can clearly see the hand or the armpits.

I also like it when bottoms have a picture where they are on their knees and spread their ass.",Doggy style. Ass and feet are the best,hands behind the back of your head
183,Do you guys do pet play?,r/TopsAndBottoms,24xl3t,11,,True,True,1.0,My partner calls me Baby Boy. Makes my penis swell.,"as a bottom, i love it when a top calls me baby boy and i call him sir or daddy. the power dynamic is so hot","Oh yes. My boyfriend likes it a lot when I call him sir. And I love calling him sir. On weekends I will be eating breakfast and will just walk over and put a collar around my neck and put a leash on me. I know we will be having fun that day. If he does it, I instantly turn very submissive to his every want and demand. He wants me to suck him. ""Yes sir."" I love it and he knows it.",[deleted],"I'm pretty big into pet play. I've never done anything so far, but I am quite eager. Collars, leashes, it's all extremely hot."
184,Is it ok for a sub to drink my piss?,r/TopsAndBottoms,jlg2iy,62,,True,True,0.89,"Piss a bladder out first, then drink loads of water then when you can pee again then get him to drink it. It won’t be as concentrated.","Subs may have a little bit of piss, as a treat.","Sorry to break the circle jerk here, but Dan Savage covered this question in his column and a health professional wrote in to inform him that actually ingesting urine can lead to complications like gout. So yeah, the commenter here who got karma bombed for pointing out that urine is the body's way of expelling material it needs to get rid of is correct...

I don't know how high the risk is, but if you care about your partner's health you should have them spit, not swallow. And if you *don't* care about your partner's health you need to get away from them asap...","If Bear Grylls does it, your sub can too",Urine is usually clean unless the person in question has an STI or Urinary infection. Hydrated top will also dilute any waste products you might be worried about.
185,Do most tops like it for their bottoms to swallow piss?,r/TopsAndBottoms,j2sw0m,17,,True,True,0.81,No. watersports is niche.,I like swallowing piss but only if they drink ALOT of water first.,[deleted],I think more Dom tops would be in to piss as it reinforces that are Dom and you are submissive.,"Most guys ive been with dont really bring up piss unless its a real dom, but anytime ive asked, guys dont mind feeding me their piss. Swallowed so much piss off Grindr!!

I wish i was in your situation. Having house buds to regularly feed me their piss is my dream"
186,Tops: Would You Pee on Bottoms to Mark Your Territory?,r/TopsAndBottoms,iej26q,14,,True,True,0.94,"Personally don't think it's hot, but if my bottom find it hot I will do it, cause I don't think it's gross","In the shower yes. I wouldn't be into them drinking it or doing it outside the shower. Not into being pissed on personally and it's more of a ""if my partner wants to I'm down, but if not it probably won't ever happen""","For some reason I've been fantasizing about being peed inside of, but not on. I don't really get off to the idea of being used in a hookup, but this is the exception.

""Wait, are you peeing inside me?""

Also if it's not clear this is happening in the shower where it doesn't matter. Anywhere else? Nah, never.",As a bottom I like that ;) But Im also into WS and drinking piss,I would prefer to piss down their throat and have them suck me off and then swallow me as I get hard down their throat and cum down it as well
187,Tried watersports for the first time,r/TopsAndBottoms,afkv2c,27,,True,True,0.92,What a lucky guy and hot story 😛 wish I could find more guys near me into WS,"Hot!  

I have always been into watching guys piss..think its the whole growing up trying to catch a glimpse of a cock at a urinal, turned it into a sexual experience...

was never really interested in swallowing piss, just watching!  but one day, I had just finished sucking off a hot 18yo mexican guy and he had to piss, so I followed him into the bathroom to watch (I had not cum yet so was still super horny)...while watching him i got the urge so stuck my tongue into the piss stream to taste it...and not bad!  But it ended there!

A year or so later, this asian guy I was servicing a couple times a week and I talked about a little piss play...so I agreed to try it!   So next time he came over, he came with a full bladder...and as soon as he walked in, I dropped to my knees, he pulled out his cock and put it in my mouth...and let if flow!  It took a lot of work to swallow it all but I did...and then just continued to nurse and suck his cock until he shot his load in my mouth too!

​

After that we did piss play maybe once every couple weeks (we usually played 2-3 times a week).  For me it was never about the actual piss, but about taking something from his body and putting it inside of me!   This was also a guy who would save me all his cum from when he would JO, and bring it too me...I would use it as lube and shove it deep inside my ass with my dildo...he thought it was hot, knowing that none of his cum was ever wasted!  ","Talk to him about the taste. Coffee gives it a very unique strong odor and taste. Fruit juices are mild. Artificially sweetened drinks (like diet Coke) will pass the artificial sweetness straight through to the urine, which he might not enjoy.",Urine is sterile so as long as you don’t have an STD/I it’s fine to drink it. ,"Healthy urine is sterile, your kidneys make sure of that, so there are no major health concerns there. "
188,Where is the most public place you have had sex,r/TopsAndBottoms,ev12xj,16,,True,True,0.92,"I really want to do more or be outside more but I have had sex countless times in cars out in some parking lots, and I have been fingered on a trampoline...not my proudest moment? But this is an anon account, so.",Sucking dick while fishing at a pond till we were interrupted he then took me behind some bushes and fucked me. Given many road head,"In order from least to most public...






Sex club 

Gym shower

Gym sauna 

Condo sauna 

Gym staircase 

Condo staircase 

University library washroom 

Pool (former work) washroom 

Public washroom 

Public park 

Train tracks 

Nude beach 

Stage used for a concert in a public park 

University quad 

Outside of a university building 




The last 3 were only at night.",In the gym,"Train tracks, Six flags in the tram, at a club, parking lot of my college in the open, in car at the library and theater."
189,What are your experiences with having sex in public places?,r/TopsAndBottoms,jspyli,34,,True,True,1.0,I fucked this guy on a hiking path. It was late at night and over the summer. It was super hot!,"I lost my virginity in some woods nearby where I live, it has a lot of public right of ways through it used by dog walkers. Met up with guy slightly older than me, we went down the path a little and I sucked him off there. second time I met him there I got fucked for the first time.","Lots. I can't host, so the park near my place is my go to spot. Usually sit on the park bench and have guys blow me there.","i did folsom street fair and dore alley where they fuck in the middle of the day and in broad daylight; does that count?

​

If you don't know what either are; search for them in pornhub.","well plenty. And given i live in a very conservative country i am astonished by the courage/stupidity of my younger self. Worse memory was when there was political unrest i stupidly thought regular places was safe. But was faced a minor police harassment due to increase police presence. Like now i laugh, they were there for oppositional political party activists, they were angrily confused because horny gay men wasnt in their radar at all and there was nothing in my or my hook ups idenity to suggest otherwise.  


The place was highly guarded because its a gov property. but over the course of years i have given numerous BJ there. Even fucked someone in there at night."
190,Best place for public sex?,r/TopsAndBottoms,hfeh2y,10,,True,True,0.92,Denny’s Parking Lot,"Squirt.org will usually have a list of public places or beats in your area. Often other users leave comments and updates if a beat is patrolled or the best time of day/night to visit.

Also, just as a precaution, be mindful of any local laws and penalties that relate to public sex or “indecent exposure”.

Have fun!",I've always enjoyed public bathrooms and parks late at night.,If you're in a bigger city go for a bathhouse.  It's public but everybody expects to see guys fucking.  Plus you have showers handy.,
191,Any other bottoms or tops have a rape kink/ fantasy?,r/TopsAndBottoms,f4yqy7,132,,True,True,0.94,"I personally enjoy this kink but in the sense of just really intense power play. I also find rape something unforgivable and absolutely vial, but I love being 'controlled and forced' into sexual stuff with my people.","Yes. It seems to be a fairly common fantasy; as a sub, it’s definitely something I dream about.

In BDSM Play, it’s often referred to as “consensual non-consent.” You really have to trust the top. There’s still a safe word. You are giving your consent for someone to do things to you without you agreeing (“non-consent”) until such time as you take control back.

I’d love to trust someone that much. I haven’t, though, found anyone like that yet.",Years ago I played with a guy who was seriously into rape.  Instructed me that he wanted to be tied down and fucked hard & raw with NO warmup.  He was hot.  Our session lasted a few hours.  Amazing once I wrapped my brain around what he really wanted and the fact that I COULD give it to him.  A few months ago I met a guy who said he wanted to be raped.  I lubed up my dick and pushed in.  He promptly jumped out of bed!!  You have to be very careful about the words you use with a new partner - especially if you're the bottom!!!!  The porn portrayal of rape is VASTLY different from the reality of having your hole taken brutally and with no preparation.  The guys in the porn videos have been working their holes with dildos long before the camera starts rolling!  Still think rape is hot??,"I was fucking this dude one time, and we were acting out a pizza boy rape fantasy. In our aftercare, he told me that my cock started throbbing and felt like it got harder when he was begging and crying out ""please don't rape me.""","As long as it's roleplay and both sides are consenting then it's fine.

I had one FWB who wanted to be roughed up and in my head I was thinking of suggesting the idea before instantly getting texted to ""rape him"".

Made a lot of rules to follow and of course a safe word but after going through with they really enjoyed and it and too my surprise it only got rougher and dirtier after each session.

It peaked at having two other tops I was comfortable with breeding him with me then finishing him off by fucking their loads and mine deeper into him."
192,RAPE ROLEPLAY?,r/TopsAndBottoms,d0gbqq,8,,True,True,0.72,"Yeah. I’m super into it as a Top, but I will only do rape roleplay with a trusted bottom I’ve fucked before. On the scale or “I just met you” to “we are married” this one tends to the latter side. 

Super hot. Love it. Do it. Recommend it. This is NOT something you do with a guy you just met. This is something you do with a trusted companion.","I've done it but I really have to work my ass off to convince guys that they can get a lot rougher and more aggressive with me because they're all afraid that they might cross a line. Once I can get them to lose control though, it can be really fun being at their mercy.","It's a difficult thing for most people to talk about, either the fantasy of it or the reality that they've done. I haven't done it. You really have to trust a top, have done a lot of work with the top you are with, to make it all work out right. Even the top has to trust you in this.   


The article linked below is one of many articles out there about rape role-play, referred to as ""Consensual Non-Consent."" It outlines what you and your partner(s) need to do to make it safe and keep some out on the table if it gets too crazy, either before during or after.  


Your desire is perfectly fine. It's a common desire. It's a difficult desire to pull off. It takes a bit of work, experience, and planning so that it's not actually rape.

[https://www.domsubliving.com/5-things-about-consensual-non-consent/](https://www.domsubliving.com/5-things-about-consensual-non-consent/)","r/gaystrugglefuck

 

You're welcome",
193,"Any other guys into ""Free Use"" or Consensual Non Consent?",r/TopsAndBottoms,9hwdyc,101,,True,True,0.99,"I have been a part of scenes where I was used in a 'free use' type of way.  I was at a sex club, sitting in the jacuzzi when a guy I didn't know came and sat down next to me (there were two other guys in the jacuzzi as well).  The guy reached under the water, took my hand and put it on his sizable cock, which I began to play with.  He then pulled me onto his lap where he fingered me openly.  

He got up to get out of the jacuzzi and I looked at him questioningly and he said, ""come on, it's time for me to fuck that ass.""  We went to his room where he 'made' me beg for his cock loudly (the walls did not go all the way to the ceiling so everyone nearby could hear me.  His cock was 9"" long and he took me doggy style.  I went to reach to close the door and he told me to leave it open.  

Two guys came over to watch and he loudly offered my mouth to them.  So one guy pulled his cock out and had me suck him.  The guy using my mouth pulled out and came on my face.  His companion had been jerking himself and he came on my face too.  Soon thereafter, the Dominant guy pulled out (he had not cum yet) and told me he would be back later.

I took a shower and headed into the steam room.  Now, the steam room is usually a quiet place where people feel their way to each other.  I was sitting on the bench and the room was filling up.  There was a guy standing in front of me when I saw the Dominant guy come in.  He motioned to the guy standing in front of me and said something along the lines of that he should use me because I was a good fuck.  

The guy in front of me put his cock up to my lips and I began to suck him off.  Very quickly, I was very popular and ended up getting fucked by three guys and sucked off several more.  All of them came on my face and body.

This was one of the most deliciously erotic days for me.  I had just let myself be used.

I never did see that Dominant guy again.  ","Dom guy here, majorly into this. My partners husband is (most of the time) a cuck, and he's just available if I get home from work and want to work out some frustration.

My boy also knows that I can walk into his work (a kinky establishment), take him out for 10 minutes and fuck him before dropping him back at work. He's also been a mouth for my friends to fuck when we're out if I choose to offer him.

It doesn't happen often, but when it does it's so hot to just be able to treat him like property. For me, it only works because we have a very close, loving relationship that prioritises tenderness and us meeting each others needs. I couldn't walk up to a stranger like that, I wouldn't see the point. All of this stuff builds connection and a sense of ownership and responsibility.",Always down to be grabbed and used. Nothing hotter than a man “having his way” With me. I love the thought of a guy just walking up and taking what needs using  me for pleasure and moving on. ,"Love it. Usually do this CNC role play with a friend in NYC. Leave my hotel room unlocked and he comes in and we act out our fantasy, complete with me begging him not to hurt me and resisting getting fucked. I always end up with a creamy hole 😍😍","I fantasize about being used casually and also being the ""victim"" in a CNC situation."
194,Is it moral to have a rape fantasy as a bottom,r/TopsAndBottoms,c1xl1l,38,,True,True,1.0,"I am a rape survivor who has rape fantasies as the assaulted party.  Our minds work out our issues in odd ways sometimes, and if that's how your psyche handles it, go with it.  Working out why the power dynamic of non-consent arouses you is harmful to no one until you permit it to be so through your own actions, so just be conscientious of others.  Fantasy is fantasy, and rape-play where a preconceived scenario is organized and negotiated in the same style as a BDSM session between two consulting parties, with safewords, discussion of soft and hard limits and all that, is a common thing for many people.
When navigated respectfully for your own emotional health and that of any others also involved in your exploration of this, there is no moral issue.","Consensual non consent, or CnC, is a popular kink, and I think you may find you’re not even the only person in your  social circle who has it it you ask around. Short answer, no, there is no moral standard you’re failing to meet by having this fantasy. Have you talked to your partner about it? They might be supportive and willing to help you explore it further. I highly encourage you to do some reading up on google about this just to add to your familiarity so you don’t feel isolated by what turns you on.","I was molested repeatedly by my much older brother when i was quite young (I was 4 or 5 and he was 16 - 17), which has lead to me having a fixation on incest role plays. I have never told anyone about the abuse, because I didn't think I would be believed, and it would probably kill my mother. I haven't really indulged the fantasy, but i feel like the fixation on it might be my way of making sense with it and getting some control over the very confusing feelings I've had about it growing up. Fantasies can be a safe way to explore and understand yourself. No one is getting hurt and just make sure you and your partner are on the same page about when 'no stop' means that he needs to stop.",as a rape survivor i get of by replaying it. i think the consent in that case can even have a healing effect. same reason i am a submissive bottom.,"I wouldn't say I was raped but used to see a Top that very physical and loved rough sex.  He liked when I told him to stop and he didn't or told him things like it hurts and I would scream or try and slap him away.  I said I didn't call it actual rape as I kinda was into it too but the feeling of fleeing I had were real. 

I often fantasize about it still and do wish I could find another Top like him."
195,"Bottoms, do you guys have some sort of a rape-fantasy?",r/TopsAndBottoms,2w6c2b,36,,True,True,0.86,"You mean a fantasy where I'm pinned against the wall... the rough man presses his muscled body up against my back, rests his stubbled chin on my neck, and tells me in his deep voice ""Don't try to resist. I know you want this, faggot.""... he inches forward, and I feel his hard cock poke into my butt... my dick hardens in my pants, and I make some weak, feigned struggles against his strong hold to act like I don't want it, but his strength traps me in place... I hear his pants unzip... he quickly tugs my pants down so that my bare ass is exposed... I feel his warm, throbbing cock flop against my bare ass... he tells me that he's going to fuck my mouth before he rapes my ass... turns me around, pushes me down to my knees, holds my hair in one hand, pulls my jaw down with the other, maneuvers his cock into my gaping mouth, and starts to forcefully fuck my throat... I choke, but he continues the assault, raping my mouth over and over... my eyes fill with water from being choked, and I have to blink several times to keep my tears from spilling down my face... he pushes his cock all the way in and holds it deep in my throat, and he pinches my nose to cut off my breath... I look up at him pleading for air, and he's looking down at me, smirking, and says, ""I own you, faggot""... after a minute of suffocation, he releases my nose and pulls his cock out, which is drenched in my saliva, and I gasp for air... in my weakened state, he easily picks me up, turns me around, and slams his cock in my hole... he lets his cock sit inside me the whole way as he wraps his big arms under mine and puts me in a wrestler's hold... I feel his warm breath on the back of my neck, and as I've stopped struggling and submitted to him, he tells me, ""Good faggot""... he then proceeds to drill my hole while grunting and growling... at first I'm silent, but as my hole loosens up and his pounding starts giving me overwhelming pleasure, I can't hold back my moans... he starts pistoning his cock into me with greater speed, his pelvis makes a loud slap as it smacks into my ass with each thrust, and he's growling more than before... he pins me firmly against the wall, pressing all of his weight into me, he makes one last, hard, deep thrust into my ass, and I feel his cock spurting his warm load into me as he grunts loudly... he pulls out, zips his pants back up, turns me around, brings me close to his face, and looks me cold into the eyes to say ""Tell anyone, and it will hurt a lot more next time, faggot.""... I'm speechless, out of breath, and in a daze from the recent prostate pounding, so I just nod silently with a defeated look on my face... he gives me one last threatening look, and leaves me there, pants still down, with his cum slowly dripping through my insides...? Nah never had one.","Yes, I want to be used and abused. No bruises though. safe word is Vagina. Instant boner killer",Of course not......... *I'm lying*,"Personally, absolutely not. While I definitely have a fantasy of bottoming for a gangbang, and of waking up while being fucked (or a dick being inserted into me) when sleeping with someone, that would be fully consensual. ",Oh I absolutely have a bareback rape fantasy. And it gets really dirty and abusive.
196,Fess up: How kinky do you get?,r/TopsAndBottoms,75qts1,28,,True,True,1.0,I have one guy who got me into pet play. He'll pet me and call me a good boy and give me belly rubs. He'll fuck me real rough and call me puppy. Sometimes he'll lead me around by a leash or have me wear a collar. Sometimes I'll show up and he'll let one of his friends use me. It's fun. ,"Had a regular dom I used to meet take me to some woods, stripped me naked, bent me over a tree, fucked me raw, came in my arse and made me lick him clean. Then he pissed in my face before spitting on me and walking away.
The single most degrading experience I've ever had... and honestly the hottest sexual encounter I've ever had.","hmm.
I've pissed in someone's mouth (he actually sucked it right out of my dick), messed around in two public bathrooms, tied a guy up and spanked him.

hard no to scat and blood though. nope, nope.

but I'd probably piss on someone again if they were into it, I'm down with public sex lol, and I'll definitely turn someone over my knee and spank em with whatever object they like. ","Love fisting, piss drinking and fucking, rough sex, biting, spanking, toys, some bondage, cum, spit and general dom/sub play. Will try most things except blood, shit, vomit, being restrained. cross dressing/sissification never had any appeal to me either but might do if the other guy was insanely hot.

 I'm lucky enough that I get fulfill most of my kinks fairly regularly. Usually me and the bf try to squeeze 2/3 long kink sessions in per week.","Everything but shit and blood.  I won't usually stop it it's only a little messy ether.

So far no one has even come close to shocking me.

Talk to me when you have a boy tied up for two days and piss on his food and serve it to him in a dog bowl.  That's a good start. 

Fucked two boys yesterday that sucked my dick after breeding them.  Made boys piss in heir mouth while I do the same.

If it's entered your mind I've probably had t times two.

I like to cuddle but damn sluts can't switch gears and  I have to keep them in their place. "
197,Do you prefer soft/gentle or rough/aggressive sex?,r/TopsAndBottoms,hypoce,13,,True,True,0.94,"Both, depending on situation/mood.

Sometimes you want a bit more connection, intimacy and romance -  sometimes you just want to be thrown around the room like a rag-doll and left covered in cum like the slut you are.

Totally depends on how you're both feeling, and it can turn from one into the other in the same session.","I try to combine them into the same session to keep things interesting. Foreplay is soft and sensual with me. I aim to make you feel loved and wanted like a person neglected in their marriage wanting more. I give soft head to start with, but once I get going I can make you squirm. 

Fucking you is a different story. A whole other language because I can do anything. My intensity depends on the position we're in. If I'm sitting down while you're on top of me, I'm going to hold you close and whisper how beautiful you feel as I kiss you. If I'm on top, I'm going to be slapping my balls against your ass with one hand on your neck to pull you up as you arch your back, and allow me to spit into your mouth.

Pace is a translation of your desire in sex. My desire for someone during sex oscillates. And so will the way I handle you throughout but rest assured, you will always be safe in my arms and wanted throughout.","rough feels better physically, mentally if i’m a bit off i’ll go for some gentle. 
gentle fucking also applies to situations where you need to be quiet for me",Deep and slow because I am into the mental game of feeling it penetrating all the way down. Also am tight and didn't take many so the idea of rough scares me,"I generally lean towards gentle/loving. I don’t necessarily like to say “soft” because I want my man holding me tight, being firm and forceful when he fucks me, but in a tender way. I’m not super into being roughed up or dom stuff or anything. There’s always a time
and place for that kind of thing, of course."
198,How to use a submissive bottom?,r/TopsAndBottoms,k2uc1x,259,,True,True,0.98,This was a hot and reassuring post to read.,"Aftercare is very important , lots of cuddles and kisses if you push his boundaries. 

Having him sit with his back up against the wall and fucking his throat is a lot of fun. He can’t escape the cock down his throat and you can make him take it. Also I love to give a firm (yet gentle) slap on the face when I really get going.",The possibilities are endless.  Have him get naked and suck you under the table while you read the morning paper.,"You seem to do a good job so far. Still want to mention that aftercare is really important, esprcially after such intense Sessions. 
That said, you could use cbt and restrain his balls so they are Always bound and under pressure. That means that everytime he moves or shrugs during Spanking, He will feel pain there. Could drive him crazy..",Ughhh what I would give to get a bf like you 😫😫
199,Why does it seem like so many bottoms like to be treated like sh*t?,r/TopsAndBottoms,ilf3lz,23,,True,True,0.93,"I can see there being a time and a place for everything. But, as a top, it seems most bottoms I meet are expecting and wanting it to be rough and aggressive. They want to be used and abused, figuratively speaking. I get asked all the time about how dominant I am, what I’m going to do to treat them like a little bitch, boss them around, etc. I’ve had guys get annoyed when I don’t want to choke them, hold them down and restrain them, etc. Sure, that can be fun. But it’s a big expectation to have to live up to all the time. I’m certainly not passive by any means, and I’m usually pretty assertive. But, sometimes I just want to have some calm fun with someone- where both of us are equals enjoying one another’s bodies and company. Call me vanilla, but I don’t always have a ravenous urge to barge in, rip his clothes off, tear it up and take what’s mine. Just sometimes ;-)","porn, I suspect, drives some appetites.",[deleted],"I am definitely not like this as a bottom, and it kind of concerns me that some bottoms seem to want sex to be selfish and one-sided?  Sex is about two people feeding each other energy -   
it's not a one-way transfer of energy. And if you think that sounds ""sappy"" or something then holy shit you are missing out on SO much. It should be enjoyable as fuck for both parties, and isn't just a means to get the top off.  Idk it seems super weird to me...almost like these bottoms don't respect themselves or something.  I love a man being dominant with me and I love being able to make him feel empowered, but there's a difference between being dominant and literally using a person solely for your own purposes as though they are a tool.  Such a soulless approach seems so distant and disconnected and I kinda feel sorry for these people.",I accepted my inner whore. You dont have to. Just fuck me
200,Any else fantasise about getting slapped in the face as you suck cock? or actually done it before?,r/TopsAndBottoms,8qa1da,56,,True,True,0.97,I think more about getting slapped in the face with my man's cock or getting spanked than I should 😋,i do that to my bf he loves it.  he's a bitch.,"I have a buddy who likes to slap me around some when I'm sucking his dick. It's never hard enough to leave a mark, just enough to make a good pop and show me who's in control. It's part of the roles we play. He's the dom top stud with the 8"" dick and I'm the sub bottom cocksucker who'll do most anything to suck that dick. He also likes to spit on me and spank me. ","My bitch love it. The harder i slap, the harder his erection is. And then there are some other things too...",Slapped by hand and with the cock yes 
201,Bottoms who like to be slapped in the face,r/TopsAndBottoms,6fi6oe,15,,True,True,0.87,"Yes please. Face slapping, spitting, dirty verbal talk and throat grabbing are all green lights in my book.",I love being slapped and spanked so much! It's the degrading factor that makes is so great ,"It's great--if we've talked about it beforehand. Nothing worse than a surprise slap but if I know the guy and consent to cut, that's great, especially if his cock is in my ass and he's calling me a fag as he does it. ","Such a fucking turn on to rough up my bottom! Ass and face!

But only with those who like it! ",i'd rather my bottom slap me. i'll slap your ass though
202,"Any experiences with ""straight"" guys?",r/TopsAndBottoms,jmnjno,5,,True,True,0.7,Yep. They're lots of fun... especially because they get up and leave immediately after they cum and then never contact you again.,"A few, sadly they were only painful heartbreak. :(",Yes many. Some good mostly bad,"As the only openly gay student in my high school (until the end of 12th when the valedictorian came out as a lesbian) I got bullied and picked on by some of the other students. At the same time, shortly after 9th started, I began getting notes in my locker and by the end of the school year I was very sexually active and was sucking off guys after school on a daily basis. Most of them, my secret hookups, were guys who were still in the closet and some were just curious but there were some, a few of the boys who bullied me, that just wanted their dicks sucked. 

I've always been promiscuous and I love sucking dick (and, yes, swallowing) so it was always a win for me.",They aren't straight.
203,Straight/bi guys: into making out/kissing?,r/TopsAndBottoms,gak16b,1,,True,True,0.54,"It may not be popular but you asked personal preference... no , I don’t kiss on the mouth... nothing against it just not my thing with guys...",As a straight* guy I can totally confirm I like kissing,Bi here making out makes cumming that much stronger,Well for me making out/kissing is a must,"Straight/flexible here. Top. 

I'm down to rim the right ass, but apart from that I don't put my mouth on a guy."
204,Bringing up threeway fantasy with your top?,r/TopsAndBottoms,jm5pvk,10,,True,True,0.92,"""Hey, what do you think about us having a threesome?""",There shouldn't be anything threatening about sharing your fantasies.  I'm a top but I badly wanted to have a 3way with a guy I was having a 2-year fling with.  When I mentioned my fantasy I could tell he didn't want to share me with someone else so that was that.,"Maybe start by asking him about the time he did it and what didn’t work for him that time and how it could’ve been done differently for him to enjoy it. Then tell him what you’d expect from such an experience. 
Also was it with 2 tops and a bottom or him as the top and two bottoms? I think a scenario that may turn him off is if the top you invite is super dominante and fucks you really hard in front of him. This may be weird for your boyfriend and maybe even a bit emasculating for him if he sees another guy do this to you. I think only ankther Dom top would appreciate that (and you said your boyfriend isn’t quite so into these roles)
So if you do it maybe look for someone more like your boyfriend, or someone who is even less dominant . And then you can always work up to a more dom/sub situation next time.",,
205,How do you guys arrange an orgy? Advice?,r/TopsAndBottoms,k7w3mh,13,,True,True,0.76,"my first advice would be to wait for this pandemic to be over

Otherwise, it's easier to arrange it with guys who you already know. With random guys from grindr it's always hard to arrange something. It's probably easier to just spontaneously invite them over when you already got some friends over. In the end, you can't really influence the dynamic and when people break into groups that's just how it is. As a host, your priority should be that everyone's comfortable and having fun.","Lots of friends or post on sites. 
  If you go cruising or do hookups, you need to start handing out business cards with your contact info on it. Build up a network and go from there. 
  It takes time and is work. 

I had 1 gangbang. My steady set it up.  So I got lucky.","I never had those problems. 

First thing: stop sorting people into ""tops"" and ""bottoms"". 

If you have an equal number of tops and bottoms, then you're guaranteeing that men will match up in pairs: one fucker and one fuckee. Also, what about men who aren't into fucking or don't feel like fucking on the night? 

Just invite sex-positive *men*. It doesn't matter whether they're top, bottom, versatile, or side - just as long as they're into the idea of sex fun with a group of strangers. Not all sex fun will involve fucking. 

Another hint: invite more men than you need. Even after they say ""yes"", some men won't turn up on the day. I found about one-third of men said ""yes"" and then didn't show up. 

Invite men you know, rather than strangers off apps. Invite your friends, your friends with benefits, your fuck-buddies, etc. And then ask some of them (the ones who you think have good judgement) to bring another man with them, to get the numbers up. 

If you want men to change partners, then you can force this to happen by changing your own partner. You move on to another small group, leaving your partner alone. He'll also join another small group. That'll change the dynamic of those small groups, and maybe another man will leave those small groups and move on to other groups, like a chain reaction. Any time men look like they're too settled, you get up and change groups.",Post something on Recon,I hope you are not those who were caught by the police in Belgium. 😅
206,TOPS - How do you feel when couples hit you up on Grindr?,r/TopsAndBottoms,kmp4gl,6,,True,True,0.88,"When I was on Grindr: I felt good and admired. Didn't do anything with them as I didn't (and still don't) want to be the third wheel.
When I don't enjoy it, the others won't either and then it's best for them to really get the ones, who are enjoying the time.","I’ve been the third guy in one too many “open” relationships to take that risk again.

I mean, three hot fuck buddies fucking like bunnies in heat? Sure! But an actual couple asking for me to join? No, not me. ...or asking me to bang one out, the other just watching? Double no! Thanks for the flattery, but I don’t get off on anyone’s non-participation or worse, humiliation.

To each their own though. I’m not judging. Just saying I can’t get into that.","I've had 3-ways with couples a few times and it's less exciting than it sounds on paper. For me, it's always been spontaneous when we were all out together and hanging out afterwards or something. I've been hit up by couples on Grindr but never gone through with meeting them although I was intrigued a few times.

Pros: if they're in love with each other, it's hot to see and be part of that energy.

Cons: you usually end up feeling like a third wheel or novelty toy; even if you don't mind, it's kind of an awkward vibe.

I would definitely be less interested if the setup is just that one wants to watch. That literally feels like being a human dildo. There are plenty of people into that but I'm not so much. 

I don't know if there's anything in particular that would make me more interested. It would just depend on the couple, the dynamic/situation, and how it came about. To me, it's more hot if there's a good connection between everyone and it happens naturally. Being hit up on Grindr without knowing the couple is definitely less appealing in general.",They better be two bottoms or im not interested.,"I would be flattered, but if something is to happen, then I would like to discuss everything through, I won't just jump into the bed without any discussion or warning as to what they want or expect."
207,Should I cancel my PrEP appointment this week? What’s the point if I don’t hook up?,r/TopsAndBottoms,gfoo52,48,,True,True,0.94,I would keep the appointment and discuss everything you just said here with your doctor. It’s an office visit and a set of labs. You’re in and out in an hour. Wear a mask and wash your hands.,My GP basically told me to stop taking Prep until this is over. Unless I ignore the lock down. Which would be a different problem.,"Just beware of those sudden unplanned moments. What if some gorgeous man turns up and offers you a fuck? 

If you've got condoms handy for those moments, you should be fine.",No you should go just to ensure you maintain the right levels of prep in your body. Also to keep your records accurate.,If you don’t take PrEP consistently then don’t take it at all. It’s one of those few things in life that really is black and white. There’s no half assing this.
208,When did you last use a condom for sex?,r/TopsAndBottoms,etkyu1,7,,True,True,0.73,"Um. Imma still use condoms. Have you not heard of Super Gonorrhea?  Its Superbug strength Gonorrhea, resistant to most antibiotics.",Yesterday,Yesterday,"I am on prep, but i still use condoms with strangers","All the same get tested regularly specially if the person isn't a known partner.

As /u/master-of-none mentions there are other pretty serious STI that you could get. Prep is great but whether it's worth the risk or not is your decision"
209,Do you PrEP?,r/TopsAndBottoms,6aocqi,37,,True,True,0.9,[deleted],Yes - been on PrEP for a year or so. It's part of controlling risk to myself and my partners,"Not on Prep yet, but thinking about it. Too many wild Friday nights end up on tequila and then a trip to the sauna / bath house. 

On the grindr issue, so many guys say they want bb, as they are on prep, but you ask for a pic of the receipt / bottle as proof and you get instantly blocked. 

","I don't have enough sex for prep. Once every year, maybe every other year. Always with a condom. If I did, I would.","Yep!  Going on three years now.  No adverse side effects, and TBH the quarterly testing and annual check-ups have gotten me way more face-time with a doctor for other health issues that I would have tried to tough out by myself.  I have gotten other STDs twice in that three year period, but nothing a quick shot won't cure.  I started PrEP in a clinical trial for a year, but now get it through Rx.  I don't have sex with a ton of people (in a relationship where we occasionally bring in other dudes or other couples), but the freedom to play without that paralyzing fear of HIV is great. Edit to clarify: both times I caught something it was found with a throat swab. And who the hell wears condoms for bjs anyways?"
210,Barebackers: how often do you get STDs? Could you give me an honest testimonial?,r/TopsAndBottoms,ccomyi,118,,True,True,0.96,"I go bare more often than not. I’ve gotten an STI 4 times in 7 years. Those were all gonorrhea or chlamydia, and were cured by a nice round of antibiotics or an injection.","I also prefer bare. I'm thirty and stopped counting how many guys I've been with at age 19 (when I had been with 50 guys). I've had 4 STDs since age 17, all were caught while asymptomatic (caught early with zero symptoms and treated) with the exception of HPV when I was 18 (small wart that was burned off and have had no issues since). 

Get tested regularly. Don't bareback just anyone. Stay away from the parTy-ers. Get on prep. Have honest conversations with your partners and your medical professionals.","I love bareback, not a fan of condoms though I will wear them if the bottom insists on it, and I'm too horny to just get head. But frequency is hard to measure. I've gone years without getting anything, and once I was unlucky and got gonorrhea twice in a span of 2-3 months.

In the past 6ish years, I think I've caught gonorrhea 5 times, potentially 6. It sucks, but as long as you go get it treated soon, discomfort is minimal. I just seem to have shitty luck, I know guys that have way more raw sex than I do and have never caught anything. Though I do live in an area where the CDC is actively worried about so called super-gonorrhea, and higher than average rates of infection. So the number of times I've had is definitely higher than normal.

But like others have said, its not about how many people you fuck, its about whether they have STIs or not. If none of them do, you can never catch anything. If all of them do, you have a pretty high chance of catching something eventually.

One last point about treatment costs though. If you are ever in the US again and suspect you've caught something, try  to find the local LGBT center. Many of them offer free testing, and treatment if you have good reason to suspect you have been exposed to any STIs. If you can't find one nearby that offers that, look for a local (usually county/city ran) health center, they usually offer the same service, even though it might be more limited (eg only available certain days of the week, or at certain hours). But both of them do not require appointments, at least in my experience.","Welp, there goes my interest in BB lol",I've had chlamydia 2x in my life.  I rarely use condoms.  The first time I was in college (I was very always-condoms at this point) and a guy just stuck it in without asking.  The second time was two years ago. I'm 30 now.
211,Can you get STDs if he didn't finish inside?,r/TopsAndBottoms,e4ddvi,8,,True,True,0.85,"You can get them from precum. 

Go see a doctor, I’d be willing to bet you don’t have anything so shouldn’t freak out, but go get tested. The peace of mind when you get a negative result is amazing. 

You don’t have to tell the doctor it was w/ a man. You can just say you had sex, and and would like to be tested. 

You should be able to request all information is sent to you only.","You can get a STD/STI even WITH a condom and just from pubic contact (like pubic lice/genital herpes). Precum and penile secretions can also transfer. The penis and anal walls can also scratch, tear, and bleed mid fuck. Sex period is a risk. Cum isn't the only thing, just a large cause. 

Are you American? If you are I suggest you visit your local Planned Parenthood or CDC approved  testing center where they DO ask if you have sex with men. It's up to you to answer how you want but those people are there to help you with the best of their knowledge. If you lie, say you are straight they might only take your blood, oral swab and have you do a piss test. They will still anal swab you if you request, but they won't pose the option if they assume you are straight. Why examine the ass and swab a person and waste labtime who won't admit to have had anal sex? Help them realize what they should be looking for. 

https://gettested.cdc.gov",Yes. It's a fact that you can catch something . IMHO consult a physician and weigh out your options so that next time you're aware of your options and consequences. Once you know reliable medical information you can decide how much risk you are willing to take. I tell you this as someone who barebacks very often.,"FYI, as long as you are of age, the doctor *cannot legally* share your private health information with your parents. It would be a HIPAA violation and subject her to large fines.","Just talk to the doctor, and be open and honest. I'm not out ether but, going to the doctor and telling him/her honestly what happened is always better. The literally cannot tell anyone. At all. If they do you can sue them. They dont want that."
212,Has Anyone Caught An STD From Receiving Oral?,r/TopsAndBottoms,ko4f4v,8,,True,True,0.76,Yes - Gonorrhea.,"I get that you’re worried and anxious. The waiting can be excruciating.  But my question to you is, does safe oral feel different l? If I understand it correctly, you have to suck on a condom. Or am I mistaken?",,,
213,"What was the first STI/STD you ever got, and how or from whom did you get it?",r/TopsAndBottoms,dsd5z0,3,,True,True,0.62,"Gonorrhea in my throat from sucking off 20+ strangers. Didn’t even know I had it. Just went in for a quick prick & that was it. 

I’ll be honest, I love topping bare, and I’ve never caught anything.","Crabs, got them when I lost my virginity. Was not fun.","Gonorrhea, hot pilot, bottoming. C'est la vie.

Edit: To expand on this, there's a lot of stigma attached to stis that virtually anyone who is sexually active is fairly likely to contract at some point (unless you're sucking dick with condoms or something). As far as I'm concerned, more discussion is always good.","HIV.  Got if from bottoming bareback for a fuck buddy who was negative.  But in reality, he only thought he was negative.  He had been infected since his last test, so he didn't know he had it which made his viral load high and much easier to infect me.

That's a good lesson about guys who are negative, and guys who think they are negative.  You're only negative if you abstain from sex for 3 months and then get a negative test result.  Then as soon as you have sex, your status is unknown.  At the time I wish PreP had been around, or the whole undetectable status thing was more talked about.  That way I would never have got HIV.",
214,Anyone have experience doing anal after hemorrhoid banding?,r/TopsAndBottoms,e7nvly,2,,True,True,0.67,"What I read online from other gay guys is that it took a few months for all the pain to go away, and another few months to get some nerve endings back. So itll most definitely affect you and you should talk to your doctor about that concern. But it is probably still good to do","First  change your diet. 
Try to eat more cereals and vegetables and less pasta and what comes from it.

Take some anastastetich creams to keep it isolate and wash it  each  time  you poop. 
I use cold water because helps to close the capillaries faster. 
Take some vaseline, it will help you to keep the ass not sore. (I also use vaseline each time after sex,  easy to ""heal"" ) 
I had the problem and it took 2 months. 
But change the diet, eat healthy. 
Ah chocolate is not good since it make your poop dry. So less possible.",,,
215,Did My Boyfriend just rape someone?,r/TopsAndBottoms,ckj4xn,6,,True,True,0.69,"This is more a legal distinction I’d imagine. If he forgot in the heat of the moment I wouldn’t say it was ‘malicious.’    
Unfortunate, sure. It’s different from a guy pretending to be wearing a condom and then removing it covertly to trick someone. It’s kind of partially on the bottom too to make sure everyone is wrapped up. Again, purposely tricking someone is different. I’m sure he’s just scared his wife is going to find out if he picks something up, which is pretty scummy anyway. If he can’t deal with the reality of cheating in his wife maybe he should just admit who he actually is.","Is your boyfriend to blame? Yes. Whether it was intended or not.  It was a mistake, but he should have been more careful. 

Is it rape? Objectively.,.... Possibly? 

However if the guy feels like it was rape then you really need to take his feelings and concerns seriously. Even if you don't plan on hooking up again, sit down with him and talk it through. He's probably freaking out. He's angry and likely scared. Don't just walk away. It's a shitty thing to do.",Men that legitimately rape women avoid conviction. I don’t think something like this would go anywhere.,,
216,Wax or Shave?,r/TopsAndBottoms,l4woyl,6,,True,True,1.0,I wax my ass / hole as it makes it super clean for the top.,Shave. I shave everything once every couple weeks. My arms not so much because I don’t have a ton of hair there,"I’ve done both. I’m a top, but my body hair grows so sparsely, big hairy bushy balls look oddly out of place on me. I even trim my chest and pits. I blend from neck to knees when I manscape.

I always keep a happy trail and little bush above my dick, but trim my balls, dick, and hole extremely close. I used to shave them. I’ve had them waxed. Nowadays I use a rechargeable body groomer because it’s just so damn much easier.

The biggest tip I can tell you, no matter the method: *after care!* Find a quality aftershave you like that is non-comedogenic, moisturizing, and long-lasting (to withstand friction throughout the day). Your hair shafts need to be lubricated as they regrow, or else you get ingrown hairs, or they feel like thumbtacks. Moisturize day and night for about four days afterwards, is what I do.",Wax... I really don't like body hair on me besides my armpits and face. Leg hair has started to bother me too as it is getting thicker with age. This pandemic has got me hairier than I have ever been and it kinda is driving me nuts.,IPL
217,Tops do you shave your crotch? Bottoms do you like a bush crotch or shaved crotch,r/TopsAndBottoms,ds49f5,14,,True,True,0.94,I'm not opposed to a top having a bush but I do prefer either trimmed or shaved. I've always found it sexier and nice and clean,"No.  Shaving your pubes is unnecessary, and I wouldn't want to fuck anyone who does. 

Trimming is fine.  Everyone can use a clean up now and again.  But shaving makes you look fucking prepubescent.  Fur is healthy and manly.",I prefer trimmed.  Nothing worse than getting throat fucked and a wild hair goes up my nose and tickles me while I'm trying remind myself to breath.b,Had mine lasered off years ago. Prefer shaved partner.,"I like shaved, and I keep my hole at least trimmed if I am expecting a good time. Same for my crotch, although it is shaved at the moment"
218,What's that something you've wanted to try but haven't yet?,r/TopsAndBottoms,6k6aig,27,,True,True,0.93,"Getting whored out by my top in a busy bar or sex club 

Sucking two cocks at once 

Wearing a butt plug all day and spending the day in public with my top knowing my ass is getting stretched out","Weekend sex toy to several guys.

Sounds so simple, but it's headed off to a cabin in the woods on a Friday afternoon and letting go enough to be three or four guys sex toy for the entire weekend.",Being tied up and used ,[deleted],I want to be the key owner of a boy (I only have access to key. Lock up that cock for as long as I want and see how slutty he gets after a month 
219,What are some of your hookup horror stories?,r/TopsAndBottoms,ka4lrf,13,,True,True,0.94,"Number 1 pet peeve, which is why I avoid uncut guys now. Dudes that want a bj but don’t clean their foreskin and their cock smells terrible. I had a dude with an 8.5” dick and it was the saddest fuck I ever had, he didn’t know how to use it. There was the dude during the snowstorm that I was blowing in his car and he was like “I hope you can make me cum blowing me because girls can’t.” And he came in like a minute.","Go to this guys house to bottom for him.  He says to go into the bathroom and change.  I was like change into what?  He again said go into the bathroom and change.  I walk in there and there is a pair of pink panties, a black tennis skirt and a white crop top.","This was a second meeting with a guy. First time was in a coffee shop to get to know each other. He came over to my dorm. But he brought a sandwich with him since he had skipped lunch earlier in the day apparently. 

He then started to eat it while we chatted about stuff and caught up with each other. After he had finished he began coughing a lot. He said it was because he had a problem with eating too fast and triggering his gag reflex. First red flag

He then asked if he could wash out his mouth and brush his teeth. My dorm was in an old building so it had a sink and mirror in the bedroom. After gargling water he proceeded to use MY toothbrush to brush his teeth. Then came back over to my bed and began to kiss me. Could still smell and taste that egg sandwich on his breath btw 

We make out and then 69 each other. It was fine nothing special. Then he insists on being top, didn’t discuss it before meeting up. I was really annoyed with him by this stage but was horny enough to say yes. This man straight up did not know how to fuck. Didn’t stimulate any areas like the prostate or offer any further foreplay. So it just hurt more than felt good. Eventually he came. I then had to show him where the bus stop was because he got lost when he left. 

This happened my last year of my undergrad and as a result I have not hooked up with older men since. Might be unfair but that’s being my gut feeling since.This idiot was 33, assuming that his profile was true, and I was 22 at the time. But at least any tops I’ve bottomed for since have been good in t the sack",,
220,What is your hottest Story of watching others fuck?,r/TopsAndBottoms,kkpx8n,2,,True,True,1.0,never seen other fucked but ive seem my friend give a bj to another guy in the car after the club lol,,,,
221,Whats your story of fucking someone you know you shouldn't have?,r/TopsAndBottoms,ivjgqn,5,,True,True,1.0,Had sex with one of my dads friends when I was 19,"We didn't get all the way there, but I flirted with my dad's boss's son at a work social. Could have gone very very poorly.","I used to bottom for a guy who is married (to a girl). Looking back, the sex might've been great, but I sometimes feel guilty thinking I could've ruined his marriage.","I played truth or day, I set myself to get a bet I couldn’t suck off my a guy in under 5 mins .. my dads best friend got to try it and he unloaded it and it’s our secret but he gets head a lot",
222,Whats your hottest getting caught having sex and not stopping story,r/TopsAndBottoms,gl4ceo,57,,True,True,0.97,When I was in high school my fwb was in full on railing me mode and my step mom walked in as he was breeding me. He told me after while we were cleaning up. I had my head down and didn't see her. It was an awkward breakfast after lol,"Met a guy on Grindr and we went to a wooded area to play. He was about 45 and I was probably 21. We went deep into the woods and found a quiet spot. We started making out and eventually after like 15 minutes of swapping head and him playing with my ass, he started fucking me from behind. He was about 6.5inches and thick so my tight ass was getting split. I was moaning too loud so he stuffed my underwear into my mouth to gag me which was so hot. He was fucking my brains out in a leap frog position, jackhammering me with my hands and knees in the dirt. 

Suddenly two younger guys in their late teens walked up on us and said we were breaking the law. I was on my knees in the dirt with my mouth gagged, panicking. Out of nowhere, the guy pulled out his wallet walks over to them with his pants around his ankles and a condom on his cock and paid them each 20 bucks to scram. I was in shock, I looked them in the eyes as they took the cash and just left us. He went right back to fucking me, harder and faster with every thrust. 

He stroked my dick as he fucked me, making me eventually shoot my load all over the ground. My orgasm caused my ass to tighten which put him over the edge almost simultaneously. When he was about to cum, he pulled the condom off and shot a huge load all over my ass, his gooey cum dripping down my asscheeks.",I got caught blowing an Arab straight guy by his GF years ago this was. She stormed out all mad and then kept on calling him but he had me back to sucking him by then he didn’t care lol.,"I was on the mountain being doggied by my ex. A small winding road below was starting to experience a traffic pile up. People started getting out of their cars to check what was going on. Someone happened to look up, pointed to us, and soon several were looking at us. The pace of his strokes were starting to slow down and he nearly stopped. I told my guy I’d break up with him right now if he stopped  so he picked up pace and kept going. A couple of folks flipped out their phones and pointed it towards us. I almost felt like a celebrity that afternoon.",At a house party one time me and two guys snuck off into a bedroom where they proceeded to tag team me. I was on my hands and knees on the bed with one guy pounding my ass from behind while I was sucking the other guys cock when the door opened. In walked a guy that I had a huge crush on at the time but he was in a long term monogamous relationship. He had apparently put his jacket in the room for safe keeping and was getting it to leave. The guy fucking me didn't stop and I didn't stop sucking the other guys cock and the guy getting his jacket did slowly while getting a good show and commented to have fun as he left the room