Since Bob Dole quit smoking, he figures everyone else can too. What Dole should quit is his habit of running at the mouth.

Dole won't go back on his word at the one and only time a candidate should: when he or she says something stupid. Instead, he stands by his bone-headed contention that smoking might not be addictive as though he read it straight from the book of Matthew.

Sure, Bob. Nicotine is harmless. And Hiroshima might have been leveled by a chance confluence of St. Elmo's fire.

Dole says he isn't a scientist. Well, no, he's not. Neither am I. But every scientist not payrolled by tobacco (and several who are) agrees that heaters get you hooked. And people don't gobble nicotine gum by the bushel or slap on "the patch" because it's easy to quit puffing.

I'm also pretty sure smoking causes cancer, drinking alcohol leads to drunkenness and striking matches starts fires. You need not be an expert - just ask C. Everett Koop, Betty Ford, or Smokey the Bear.

It's sad to watch guys who will say anything they think will get them elected. It's especially sad when what one of them says is laughable and he doesn't even say it well.

As Dole ripped this latest gash in his campaign's hull, New Jersey Gov. Christine Todd Whitman - thought to be on Dole's short list to run second on the ticket - made it "positively, unequivocally" clear that she has no intention of lashing her sure-thing political future to Dole's dwindling electoral odds. Imagine GOP honchos across America privately pleading: "Please, Bob, don't pick me."
