FW:  KMART--A little humor on a very bad day Here's a little humor -- to brighten your day!
--Dot

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Sent: Friday, January 25, 2002 2:55 PM
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Subject: KMART--A little humor on a very bad day




Subject: Kmart Hires Arthur Andersen

Kmart Hires Arthur Andersen
Chicago (SatireWire.com) - Ailing retail giant Kmart today announced it
would not have to declare bankruptcy after an audit conducted by its
newly hired accounting firm, Arthur Andersen, found no records of
company finances whatsoever.

"Our previous accounting firm told us we lost $224 million in the fiscal
third quarter, but Andersen has informed us that, at least on paper, we
didn't have a fiscal third quarter," said CEO Charles Conaway. "What a
difference proper accounting makes."

Andersen executives did not return several messages. A company attorney
later explained his clients were only allowed one phone call, and they
had already made it.




