You won't be able to flirt effectively if you think your appearance is holding you back. Flirting is about confidence, and your physical grooming — or the lack thereof — says a lot about how confident you are.


You don't need to look like you're going to the White House to meet the president, but you want to look elegant and clean. Make sure what you're wearing fits you, is not a fashion statement from the 70s or 80s, unless you intended it to be, and is something you're comfortable in.

Shower or otherwise clean yourself regularly. Wear deodorant, brush your teeth, wash your face, cut your nails, etc. Don't forget to use mouthwash right before you see/talk to your crush.
Wear your hair in a style that makes you feel pretty/handsome and compliments your facial structure. Don't be afraid to do something fancy with your hair if you're a girl.
If you're a guy, take it easy on the cologne. Guys are notoriously heavy-handed with cologne. They sometimes spray on enough cologne to injure small animals. Seriously, though — a little cologne goes a long way.;
, Flirting comes naturally if you're confident. You visualize success instead of fearing failure. You go after your goals because you believe in yourself. If flirting were a sport, confidence-building would be the training your coach would put you through in order to succeed.


Surround yourself with other people before you flirt. Be around members of the opposite gender right before you flirt. It will get you accustomed to feeling comfortable around them. It will also get you in the mood to be social, helping you gradually build up to that knock-out confidence you'll want to flirt.
Find a way to pump yourself up right before you flirt. Do something you do really well right before you flirt: it will make you more confident, and it will give you a little bit of an ego boost. This could be playing sports, practicing an instrument, or acing a test.
 Flirting can seem hard to some because the stakes are so high: if the person doesn't flirt back with you, or give signs that they like you, you feel inadequate as a person. Don't let that feeling overcome you. Your worth as a person is much more than whether you can flirt.


Shrug off mistakes. Everyone messes up a line when they're nervous around someone they like. It literally happens to everyone. The flirting pros just shrug off these mistakes and don't let it dent their confidence. Don't let it dent yours.
Ask yourself: what's the worst that could happen? If you're feeling really nervous, try to ask yourself this question. It helps put things in perspective. Flirting is nerve-racking, but it's actually not a huge deal. If the person you're flirting with doesn't flirt back, it's not the end of the world. If you have love to give, someone will love you back eventually.
Don't make one person the all-or-nothing. The key to flirting is flirt with more than one person. You have your crush, and that's fine, but you can practice around other people. The truth is that you're going to get rejected some of the time — that's just the way life is. If you hang around a couple people you're interested in, rejection from one person won't be as crushing.
 One advantage of flirting online is that the other person won't necessarily know that you're nervous. So take advantage of that and be as casual as you can. Here are some casual openers you can start with:


"Hey, how's it going?"
"Hey, do you happen to know the homework from History class?"
"Hi, did you hear that is having a party one week from Friday?"

, You want your crush to feel good about themselves, right? One easy way to do that is to keep the conversation (mainly) focused on them. Be comfortable talking about yourself, but don't forget to ask them some basic, non-threatening questions that they can easily talk about:


"So I hear you're a finalist for the district science project? Congratulations! What's your project about?"
"I'm new to this part of town. What do people around here usually do for fun?"
"Have any plans for summer break? I think I just might die if I have to stay around the house the whole time."

, It wouldn't be flirting without a compliment or two. Complimenting tells your crush that you notice and value what they do. Try to stay as casual as possible when you compliment.


If you're a guy complimenting a girl, don't compliment the feminine areas. That means no mention of breasts, butt, or the like. Guys treat girls like sex objects all the time. Be a man and show her you value her personality first and foremost.
Reinforce how they want to be viewed. There's a good chance that if you reinforce how they want to be viewed by other people, they'll act favorably to you. If they fancy themselves an athlete, compliment how sporty they are; if they fancy themselves an intellectual, compliment how smart they are.
Don't compliment them too much. The more you compliment them, the less each one of your compliments means. Choose a couple compliments that can't be misinterpreted and leave it at that. Your crush will catch on.
Here are some ideas that you can try or elaborate on when you compliment:

"It's so nice talking to you. Thanks for being so open and friendly!"
"What does a gorgeous girl/handsome boy like you do for fun on a Friday night?"
"So how is it that someone as smart and attractive as you doesn't have a boyfriend/girlfriend?"
"I know this is a little unfair to the other boys/girls at school, but you really make it easy to go to class on Mondays."



, Cheesy pick-up lines are like pet rocks: they sound cool, but they're absolutely useless. On top of that, they're hard to respond to. It's way better to stay sincere if you can't think of something interesting to say.
 If you're on friendly terms with your crush, don't be afraid of teasing them a little as a way of flirting. Be careful that they know you're teasing, being ironic, or sarcastic — over the internet, it can be hard to tell whether or not someone's being serious.


Tease them gently about something they're good at/confident about. If your crush is a star athlete, and you say "So how many extra goals is your team going to have to score when they don't have you on the field?" it'll be perfectly clear that you're joking. Plus, there's almost no chance that they get offended because they know they're a good athlete.
Tell inside jokes. Talk about things you both experienced together, and tell inside jokes from time to time. Inside jokes strengthen your camaraderie and help you connect over the small things in life.
 Don't be afraid to cut the conversation short if it's going really well. It's better than leaving the conversation when there's nothing to say or something wrong was said. Leave your crush wanting more rather than wanting less.


At the end of your conversation, say something like "You're fun to talk to — text me later?" or "See you tomorrow at school?" to build on the progress you made.
 These are two of the biggest rules of flirting. Flirt with your eyes and don't forget to smile. We communicate so much with our eyes and our lips, and they're some of our most flattering features. Use them to your advantage!


Look into your crushes eyes a little more than is comfortable. It's hard to do, but it sends the signal that your crush is irresistible — something everyone wants to feel like.
Make eye contact when you talk with your crush. Learn to hold your crush's eyes with yours when you talk. If you do this the right way, it won't hardly matter what you say, because your crush will be mesmerized by your gaze.
Smile from a distance and up close. Smiling from a distance is inviting: it says, "Come closer, I won't bite." When your crush is up close, smiling says, "Stay a little longer, you make me happy." A great smile can be the difference between a successful flirt and one that fails.
 Conversation starters are just ways to get the conversation going. They're usually very basic, and you don't have to put too much thought into them:


"That dress looks great on you. Did you make it yourself?"
"Did you hear what did over the weekend? I heard he set a Guinness World Record...."
"You seem like a math whiz. Can you help me do this algebraic equation?"

, Introduce yourself if you haven't already. You can do this after your conversation starter (it's pretty casual, and very cool), or you can use the introduction as the conversation starter: "Hi, I'm Georgia, I don't think we've met before." Remember to smile and hold their eyes as you introduce yourself!

, Always try to figure out their interest level: if they seem bored or not very talkative, you may want to wind down the conversation and try another time. Keep the following in mind as you continue to talk to your crush:


Find common ground. Relate to the other person with your own personal experiences, and share similarities. If you both love surfing, talk about Hawaiian waves or surf competitions you've been to. Exploring common ground will help you feel connected to your crush, and make your crush feel connected to you.
Avoid sticky subjects, like politics or religion, unless your crush invites the conversation. Politics and religion are hard to talk about because they involve strong emotional reactions. They can divide as much as they connect, so stay away from talking about them if possible.
 Hug, touch him or her on the shoulder, or give a flirty smile instead of just saying a simple goodbye.


In general, women can get away with touching much earlier in a conversation than men can. Many women feel a little threatened when a man they just met enters their personal space, while most men are more open to being touched. In any case, proceed with caution, and back off if you get negative or mixed signals from the person.
Learn to touch the safe areas. These areas include the hand, the arm, the shoulder, or the back. When you're talking to your crush, touch their shoulder briefly to make a point. Or do the same with their hand. If they're interested, it'll send a shiver up their spine.
Get a little bolder as you grow more comfortable. Hold the person's hand when you cross the street, or if walking to a seat or a table, lead them by gently holding their arm. Brush up against them softly when you're walking together, or accidentally bump into the other person to get their attention.
 We went over complimenting in Part Two, but here are some reminders of what to do when you're complimenting:


Never compliment overly sexual traits. It's really easy to go too far and turn the other person off. Only compliment the following physical attributes:

Eyes
Smile
Lips
Hair
Clothing


Reinforce how they want to be viewed. If they fancy themselves an athlete, compliment how sporty they are.
Don't compliment them too much. The more you compliment them, the less each one of your compliments mean.
Keep your eyes focused on the other person and your smile bright. These traits will make your already-great compliments go even further!
Be casual with your compliments. Try to make the compliment flow naturally into the conversation if you can.
Be bold! If you're feeling adventurous — and you should, because fortune favors the bold — try something funny and bold at the same time: "I'm sure you get this all the time, but you're absolutely the most beautiful person I've seen...in the last three minutes."

, Flirty conversation can last quite a while, but usually it's over within a matter of minutes. And that's a good thing! You want to flirt with the other person while the window of opportunity is there, and then leave them wanting more, so they come back and you have a chance to flirt with them again, and again, and again....


After 5-10 minutes, find an excuse to leave. "Oh, I was going to help my friend with some homework" works fine. Try to end the conversation on a high note.
Don't obsessively talk to the person every single day. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, they say. Keep the other person guessing. Be mysterious. Don't be an open book.
Let the other person work a little for you, too. Now that you've successfully flirted with your crush, make them flirt back with you! It doesn't have to be a game, but make them work a little for your heart. People like a little bit of a challenge.
 It doesn't matter if you're a guy or a girl — it's perfectly fine for girls can ask guys out on the first date, as long as the guy sets up the second date.


Ask them what they're up to a week or so in advance: "Hey are you busy this coming Saturday? I have a couple tickets to that movie that just came out."
Choose a public place and an exciting date. A public place will make your crush feel comfortable, and an exciting activity will help both of you bond together as you enjoy it.
If you're really feeling confident, just go out and say it: "You and I work well together. How about a date later this weekend? Dinner and a movie?"
You don't have to call it a date if you don't want to. Just ask the other person to join you in what you're doing. If your crush asks you whether it's a date, then you can say it is.
Be aware of your appearance.
Find a way to feel confident.
Don't worry about failure.
Stay as casual as possible.
Keep most of the conversation focused on the other person.
Compliment the other person.
Ditch the cheesy pick-up lines.
Tease them a little bit.
End on a high note.
Make eye contact and smile.
Find a conversation starter.
Make sure your crush knows who you are.
Once the conversation has started, keep it light and free-flowing.
Once you've gotten to know your crush, be touchy.
Don't forget to compliment the other person.
Know when to wind down a conversation.
If you're ready to take the next step, ask the other person out on a date.
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