Stressful situations, such as when someone is angry with us, can provoke a “fight-or-flight” response that speeds up our heart rate, makes your breathing rapid and shallow, and sends stress hormones surging through your body.Counteract this response with deep breathing to help you remain calm. Remember: two angry people make a tense situation twice as bad.Inhale for a count of 4. You should feel your lungs and abdomen expand as you inhale.Hold for 2 seconds, then slowly release your breath for a count of 4.
As you exhale, focus on relaxing the muscles in your face, neck, and shoulders.
 Reacting calmly to the angry person will help defuse a tense situation. Responding with anger of your own will only escalate the situation and will usually make things worse. Going for a walk, meditating, and counting backwards from 50 are all ways you can calm yourself down., It can be very difficult to disengage personal feelings from a confrontation with an angry person. Remember that anger is often a sign that the other person has not learned to respond in a healthy, assertive way to situations s/he experiences as threatening.Studies have shown that when people remind themselves that they are not responsible for another person’s anger, they are less likely to feel upset by it.Anger escalates because of several factors: insecurity, lack of choices, disrespectful behavior, or aggressive or passive responses to a problem.
People feel insecure when there is a degree of unpredictability in a situation. When a basic degree of order and security are threatened, people may react in anger. People may respond with hostility when they feel choices are limited. This stems from a sense of powerlessness from having little to no options in a situation.When people feel they are being disrespected, they may react in anger. For example, if you speak to someone in an angry tone or are not respectful of someone's time, s/he may become angry with you.People may become angry to make themselves feel better. If someone is angry, consider the possibility that it’s a response to something about his or her own life, not anything you’ve done.If you have wronged the other person, take responsibility for your action and apologize. You are never responsible for the other person’s response; nobody “makes” someone else angry. However, owning up to your own wrong action may help the other person process his or her feelings of anger and hurt.
 Speak in a calm tone of voice. Do not raise your voice or yell in response to the angry person. Use calm but assertive body language.Try to avoid slouching or crossing your arms. These communicate that you are bored or closed off from communication.Keep your body relaxed. Be assertive: plant your feet firmly on the floor, and stand with your shoulders back and chest out. Make eye contact with the other person. This body language shows that you are calm and in control of yourself, but you are not a pushover.Watch for aggressive responses, such as clenching your fist or jaw. Violating the other person’s “personal space” (usually a 3-foot distance) is also a sign that you may be becoming too aggressive.Stand at an angle from the person who is angry, rather than directly across from him or her. This position may feel less confrontational., It can be very hard to keep your cool when someone is angry at you, but it’s important to maintain calm, level-headed communication. If you notice any of the following creeping into your interaction, your communication is lapsing and you need to address it immediately:


Shouting
Threatening
Name-calling
Using dramatic or hyperbolic statements
Hostile questions
Take a deep breath.
Monitor your emotions.
Avoid taking it personally.
Remain calm.
Watch out for disintegrating communication.
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