Almost all social media sites will allow you to search for users by name. If you you find your friend and he has a public profile, reaching out is fairly simple — all you need to do is send a message with the in-network messaging service. Popular networks to start looking on are Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, LinkedIn, Google+, and Ello. Nearly one in four people used a social network in 2013, so there's a good chance you'll find your long lost friend on at least one.If you can't find your friend by name, try searching for your old school or workplace and going through the list of people who have "liked" or commented on it. Your friend may have a social media connection to these sorts of pages.;
, If you can't find your old friend on social media, an online search engine is a good place to go as your next step. These sites will allow you to find pages on the internet on which your friend's name appears.


A good strategy to use here is to put your friend's name in quotes when you type it into the search bar, like this: "Jane Doe." This usually makes the search engine look for pages where the first name and last name appear in sequence, rather than appearing separately anywhere on the page.
You can also try adding names of people and places your friend is associated with to narrow your results, like this: "Jane Doe" ABC High School Idaho Smith Industries.
 If you can't find your friend, someone else will. Try calling someone who used to know your friend — this can be a mutual acquaintance, an old boss or teacher, a fellow employee, or, if you're very tactful, an ex. Even if these people don't know how to get in touch with your old friend, they may be able to get you on the right track by giving you your friend's last known whereabouts.
 Most high schools and colleges keep track of their alumni students after graduation — often, they'll try to keep an up-to-date address and phone number for the purpose of soliciting donations and informing alumni of upcoming functions. Try contacting your friend's old school and asking for current information, especially if your friend was previously very active in school life. Note, however, that the alumni office may not be willing to give you precise contact information for privacy reasons.
 Believe it or not, many free public records and databases are available online. You might, for instance, try using a site like publicrecords.searchsystems.net, which allows you to search for court rulings, liens, eviction records and more for free.If you can't find what you're looking for, you might also try contacting the city hall or municipal government where your friend last lived, though this method is likely to be slower.


Another quick, easy way to search online databases is to use Pipl.com. This site has a simple-to-use database — simply type in your friend's name and place of residence and you can receive results in a few seconds., Most schools will host class reunions fairly often — usually at least every five years or so, but often much more frequently. If the school you and your old friend went to has an upcoming reunion, don't miss it. Even if you don't find your friend, you'll probably run into someone who may be able to clue you in on where to look.


You might also try going to your school's homecoming events, which usually occur in the fall at the start of the school year. These events, which can include sporting events, parties, dances for the students, and so on, are usually billed as an open invitation for old students to attend, so feel free to grab some friends and head over!

, service. If all else fails, spending a little money can help you find old friends that can't be found normally. Anything from a private investigator to an online veteran's service like Vetfriends.com may be able to put you in touch with someone from your past who's seemingly fallen off the grid. Note, however, that these sorts of services usually charge some sort of fee — in the case of a private investigator, this fee may be substantial. For this reason, it's usually best to exhaust the free options above before spending any of your hard-earned cash.
 During your search, don't forget that it's very common for women to take their husband's last name after they get married. While many women today choose to keep their original last name, most still do not, so be aware of this possibility.


Though scientific data on the subject varies, there's no doubt that adopting the husband's last name is still the route that most women take today. One study found that a little more than 60% of women who get married in their 20s take their husband's surname and that older age groups were significantly more likely to do so., Once you find your friend, take the bold leap of reaching out! Call, text, email, or even write a letter — it's up to you. Just don't put the task off for too long or you may risk losing the opportunity when their life situation changes or they move.


If you're on social media, you may want to send them a short personal message like this:



"Hi there! It's been such a long time. I hope you remember me — we were in Smith Hall together back in college. Anyway, I just got back in town and was looking to reconnect. Let me know if you're interested in getting coffee! Talk to you later."




On the other hand, if you've found someone in the real world, you can afford to be a little more involved with your message. Here's a short sample letter you might want to use as a guideline for postal correspondences or emails — note the instructions in parentheses:



"Dear (Name),
It's been so long since I last saw you. How are you? I hope things are going well with you. The last time I was with you was on graduation — remember how hot it was and how badly we were sweating in our robes? (You can replace this with your own anecdote as you wish.) After that, things were so hectic that I never got a proper chance to say goodbye, even though I knew I was going to miss you. Well, I've decided to remedy that. I'm back in town and looking to reconnect. Give me a call at (your number) if you'd like to get coffee sometime! I'd really enjoy it.
Best,
(Your name)"





, If you haven't seen your friend in quite a long time, there's always the chance that you two simply won't get along like you used to. You may, for instance, have developed different opinions and personalities in the time you've been apart that make it difficult for things to be like they once were. Because this unfortunate scenario is always a possibility, make your first meetup a casual one. Getting coffee, drinks, or a meal can be a great low-commitment scenario — if you get along great, you can do something together afterwards, but if you don't, you can leave after an hour or so without embarrassment.


You may also want to have a "plan B" in mind in case things go especially well at your initial get-together. For instance, you may want to look up the address of the old bowling alley you used to frequent prior to meeting your old friend. If you hit it off, you can head over after your coffee!

, If your initial reconnection goes well, you can probably start inviting your old friend back into your life. One easy way to do this is to ask him to attend events with you that you'd be going to anyway. This way, you're virtually guaranteed to have fun because the event is something you'd enjoy regardless of who's with you. Plus, since you'll feel at ease doing familiar things, you should have an easy striking up casual conversations with your old friend.
 As you start inviting your old friend to do things with you, it's almost unavoidable that he'll eventually meet your new friends. Don't be afraid of this! Let it happen naturally. As you do, make it clear to both your new friends and the old friend that you're not "playing favorites" by making sure not exclude anyone from the conversation.


A good policy in situations like these is to tell both groups of friends about each others' interests before they meet each other. This way, they'll have some easy topics of conversation available: "So, I hear you're into pottery?"
Keep in mind, however, that some of your new friends may not necessarily like your old friend right away. Since they don't have any shared experiences, they'll have less of a personal connection. This is OK — your friends don't have to like each other for you to like them.
 In the words of the late, great James Gandolfini, "'Remember when' is the lowest form of conversation."It's perfectly fine to reminisce about the good old day when you reconnect with an old friend. However, after a while, it's important to start planning fun things to do together in the future. Don't let your relationship with your old friend be defined by your past — if you do, you'll eventually end up bored with each other or even frustrated that you don't have more to say.
 If you didn't part with your old friend on the best of terms, you'll probably want to address this fairly soon — ideally, the very first time you reconnect.Pretending that your painful memories don't exist is a bad choice. Doing this can give the impression that you don't care about your friend's hurt feelings, or, worse, that you're deliberately ignoring them, so swallow your pride and openly acknowledge any tension early on.


If, after your time apart, you've decided that you were partially or completely to blame for your painful split, offer your sincere apology. If you don't believe you were at fault, simply acknowledge your desire to move on with a few words like this: "Hey, I know the last time we saw each other we weren't on the best of terms. I was hoping we could put all that behind us and start fresh."

, Be wary of immediately returning to your previous level of intimacy with your old friend. Keep in mind that your friend may not have the same plans in mind for your reunion as you do — he, for instance, may only be interested in a brief, one-time meal together while you're seriously trying to restart your friendship. It's best not to get too invested in your reunion before it happens. Instead, approach it with an optimistic but calm attitude. This way, no matter how your reunion goes, you won't end up feeling hurt and disappointed.
 To avoid an embarrassing faux pas, be careful not to bring up controversial topics until you have an idea of where your friend stands on them. Keep in mind that even if these topics were at one point the topic of frequent conversation between you two, they may not be today. People — even people close to you — can have their opinions shaped and molded by their experiences until they barely resemble what they once were. Below are just a few topics you'll want to avoid until you get a chance to "feel out" your friend:


Religion
Politics
Hot-button news topics
Money
Negative gossip about mutual friends
The opposite sex

, Finding it difficult to come up with things to say to your old friend? Just try asking him about what he's been up to since you've last seen him. When he answers, ask questions about his answers. As a general rule, most people like to talk about themselves — psychological studies have shown that people spend the majority of the time they spend communicating talking about themselves, rather than others.Below are just a few sample questions you may want to try asking:


Where have you been working or attending school recently?
How are things with the guys/ladies?
How is the family?
Can you help me with this problem I've been thinking about?
Read any good books lately?

, A responsible amount of alcohol can usually take the edge out of awkward social situations. Thus, if you and your old friend are of age, consider having an alcoholic beverage or two to calm the jitters that can come with making a connection with an old buddy. With luck, after a drink or two, you'll feel loose, friendly, and ready to have a great time!


Whenever alcohol is involved, it's important to drink responsibly. See our responsible drinking guide for more information and remember to never, ever drink and drive.
Look your friends up on social media.Today, the simplest, most direct way to find someone is usually via social media.
Try a search engine query.
Get in contact with mutual acquaintances.
Contact your school or alumni organization.
Use a public database.
Attend reunions.
Consider using a paid "where are they now?",
Keep in mind that women may have new names post-marriage.
Send a warm, inviting initial message.
Plan a low-key get-together.
Invite your friend to upcoming events.
Introduce your old friend to your new friends.
Enjoy the nostalgia, but make new memories.
Address any old conflicts directly but politely.
Keep your expectations in check.
Don't make assumptions about your friends' opinions.
When in doubt, ask questions.
If you're old enough, ease tensions with a drink.
{"src": "wikihow-all_test", "title": "How to Reconnect With Old Friends"}