Each child is unique and not all children will be curious about the process of cremation. Answer the child’s questions and make sure you don’t push the child’s curiosity by explaining what they seem uninterested in.


Consider what prompted your child to ask about cremation to help guide the conversation. For example, did they over hear that a loved one was going to be cremated instead of buried and wonder what that meant? Or did they hear it from a friend or while watching TV? Use the situation as a way to tailor your discussion of cremation.
 Using such words can have a negative impact on the child. Telling a child that their grandmother will be burned or placed in a fire can cause fear. It’s important that the child is not scared by the concept of cremation.Don’t say, “Grandma wanted to be cremated. This means her body will be burned.”
Instead try saying, “Grandma wanted to be cremated when she died. This means that her body will be placed in a very hot room until her body turns into soft ashes.”

, Cremation can sound scary to children, and many are afraid that the deceased will experience extreme pain as their remains are burned. You can avoid this by reassuring them pain is not part of the process.Try saying, “Anna, I want you to know that Daddy will not be hurt when he is cremated.”

, If you are spiritual or religious, explain the soul will not be harmed. For families who believe in the concept of a soul, it’s important the child knows the deceased’s spirit or soul will not be affected by the process of cremation.Try saying, “Grandma’s body will be turned into soft ashes, but her spirit will not be harmed because it left her body when she passed on.”

, Do not go into detail unless the child asks you for specifics. Some children will be extremely curious about precisely how the process of cremation works. If the child wants details, try conveying some of the following information to them.Try saying, “There won’t be any smoke or smell when Mommy is cremated. It will just get very hot – about three times as hot as our oven gets – and this heat will turn everything into soft ashes except some pieces of bone.”
You can also say, “After cremation what’s left of Uncle Tom’s body will look similar to kitty litter. However the remains will be white because they are made of bone.”

, Letting a child know where their loved one’s ashes will end up after cremation can help them find peace and closure. Discuss the deceased’s wishes with the child, whether it be the scattering of ashes or their memorialization in an urn.


Try saying, “Aunt Ashley really loved the farm where we grew up in Kentucky. She wanted her ashes to be scattered there after her death, which is why we are traveling there next week.”
If the deceased’s ashes will be memorialized in an urn, say to the child, “Daddy wanted to be close to us always and asked that his ashes be placed in a special container called an urn. To honor him we will keep the urn with his ashes on the mantle.”
Follow the child’s lead.
Don’t use words like burn or fire.
Reassure the child that the deceased will not feel any pain.
Tell the child the deceased’s spirit will not be harmed during cremation.
Provide child-friendly details about cremation if the child asks for more information.
Explain what will happen to the ashes after cremation.
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