If you will be playing an active role in helping to raise a child, you need to be in tune with them and what they’re going through. The best way to do this, if you’re struggling to keep in touch via day-to-day interaction, is to have a weekly family meeting with everyone in the household.Staying in tune with one another is not only important, it can offer an opportunity for shared fun and bonding.
Make a habit of having one meal altogether each week, and follow it up with an age appropriate activity, such as bowling or game night.
 Particularly in regards to life at home, ask them if they have opinions - either positive or negative – about how the family is doing.Ask for specific recommendations from your stepchildren about how things might go more smoothly, even before there are any issues or conflicts.
Write out a list of family values, rules, or goals with all of the family members and post it in the kitchen. Keeping a list will facilitate a collaborative method to address any issues, and will be a powerful bonding experience in and of itself.
 Respecting a child’s feelings and beliefs is important, but it also important to provide a child guidance and discipline. Talk to your partner about your parenting approach together. Address the specifics, including chores, punishment, bedtimes, homework, etc.Establish firm agreements with your partner about rules and expectations so you can present a unified, cooperative approach in disciplining and guiding your children together.
Share your expectations about your stepchild’s participation in the family with both your partner and the stepchild.
This can be tricky, because people’s individual morals and values dictate how they see what a family should be.
Take care to specify some basic expectations about chores, responsibilities, and behavior.
Encourage them. Use statements like, “I see you’ve been studying for ______. I expect your hard work will pay off!” and “Thank you for helping setup for dinner tonight.”

, Both in terms of body language and physical affection, make sure all of the visual and tactile messages you send your stepchild are positive and loving.While speaking with your stepchild, indicate that you care about what they’re saying by facing them and listening intently.
Don’t hesitate to rumple some hair or give your stepchild a hug if they are comfortable with it.
Recognize that comfort with even minimal physical affection, such as hugs, may take a while to develop. This is entirely okay.
Stay in touch with your stepchildren.
Ask stepchildren how they’re feeling.
Maintain a parental role by clearly articulating goals and expectations.
Share your affection for your stepchild.
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