For many toddlers, “it’s time for bed” basically means, “it’s time to be all by yourself, with no one loving you or paying attention to you or keeping you company.” Understandably, they do not feel especially happy with that idea – and so they will keep crying, calling out for you, and getting out of bed in search of another round of cuddling and attention.;
, Ironically, toddlers who are overly tired tend to resist bedtime the most. Exhaustion makes toddlers cranky, weepy, uncomfortable, and uncooperative, setting the stage for a long battle at bedtime.


Usually, toddlers run and play enough during the day to be tired by bedtime, but occasionally, you may run into a problem with a lack of fatigue, rather than an excess of it. If your child spends too much time sitting in front of the television or computer, or if bedtime is truly too early, he or she may have too much energy to wind down.
 Children have vivid imaginations and difficulty distinguishing between fantasy and reality, and they may be susceptible to nightmares or afraid to be alone in the dark. These kinds of issues may play a role in your toddler’s unwillingness to go to bed.
 If you’ve been dealing with prolonged and difficult bedtimes, aim to have your toddler nap for about an hour to an hour and a half in the afternoon. Too little rest will make your toddler exhausted and cranky at bedtime; too little will leave your toddler with energy to burn.


Studies suggest that too little sleep may raise toddler’s levels of cortisol – a stress hormone that can make it difficult to get quality sleep. A brief nap in the afternoon may prevent cortisol levels from rising.
 If you do, your toddler will associate sleep with punishment – he or she will be confused when you inflict this “punishment” every night and more likely to resist.
 Don’t try to put your toddler to bed before he or she is tired, and don’t let him or her stay up too late, either. Toddlers need about fourteen hours of sleep per day (though many, unfortunately, get much less), so if your child is taking a one-hour nap in the afternoon, aim for a bedtime that allows for thirteen hours of sleep.


When choosing a bedtime, don’t forget to consider your own needs. Don’t sacrifice your child’s needs, but do consider finding a bedtime that works for your toddler and also allows some time for you to unwind in the evening, alone or with your partner.
Toddlers can’t tell time, but you can teach them to recognize the signs of bedtime: it starts getting dark, perhaps everyone eats dinner together. Making your child aware of these signs will reinforce the idea that bedtime is unavoidable.
 Buy bedding that your toddler likes, and have his or her favorite stuffed animals and blankets available.
 An ideal routine would have multiple steps and take at least an hour, so that your toddler gets used to the process and knows what to expect – say, for example, a bath, then pajamas, then a bedtime snack, then two stories, then teeth brushing, then ten minutes of cuddling time, then sleep. Once established, stick to this routine every night.


For best results, give your child some control over some aspects of the routine. Offer a choice of snacks, for example, and let your toddler choose the stories.
 Even if you follow all the steps to prepare for a peaceful bedtime routine, your toddler may sometimes cry and refuse to go to sleep. If you get upset or angry, your child will pick up on those emotions, and the battle will escalate. If, on the other hand, you maintain a low voice and a calm, matter-of-fact attitude, your child will be more likely to stay calm.
 If your toddler keeps crying or calling you, remind him or her calmly that it’s time for bed: “We already had your bath, and we put on your pajamas, and we had your snack and stories. We brushed your teeth and cuddled. Now it’s time to sleep.”

, If your toddler seems genuinely frightened (rather than just stubborn), you can help eliminate his or her fears by adding a night light or getting creative – think up a secret weapon, and use it together to banish monsters from the room. Just don’t allow this step to become too long or arduous, and avoid letting your child turn it into a kind of playtime.
 Avoid saying, “okay, one more book” or “okay, ten more minutes of cuddling.” If you do, then your child has essentially won the battle and gotten what he or she wanted. Reiterate that it’s bedtime.
 If your toddler is truly distressed, try leaving the room for periods of ten minutes at a time. Then come back, reassure your child briefly – don’t give in to more stories or cuddling, just calmly remind your child that you’re there and that it’s bedtime – and repeat as necessary.
 If you are desperate, you might consider a bribe: tell your child that if he or she goes to sleep without any more fuss, you will do something fun the next day.


This should be a last resort. If you use bribery too often, your child will come to expect rewards for going to bed. This will ultimately set you back in your efforts to establish a peaceful bedtime.
Accept that toddlers are reluctant to give up your attention.
Recognize the role of fatigue.
Consider your child’s fears.
Adjust the afternoon nap.
Do not punish your child with enforced napping.
Choose an ideal bedtime.
Make your child’s room an inviting place for sleeping.
Stick to a consistent bedtime routine.
Stay calm.
Remind your child of the routine.
Kill the monsters.
Be consistent.
Check on your child at regular intervals.
Consider promising a reward in the morning.
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