Most children do not whine to annoy or anger you. They may be feeling tired, hungry, stressed, or uncomfortable, or they may just want attention. Stopping to put yourself in your child’s shoes may help you understand the causes of the whining, and then you will be better able to take preventative measures.;
, Fatigue can contribute to a number of undesirable behaviors, including whining. Aim for an appropriate amount of sleep each night, and consider an earlier bedtime if you notice a lot of crankiness and whining. If your child is preschool-aged or younger, make sure he or she gets an afternoon nap; if your child is elementary-school-aged, give him or her a chance to rest and relax after school.


Children’s individual sleep needs vary, but in general, toddlers between one and three years of age need a total of twelve to fourteen hours a day (including naptime). Three to six year olds need ten to twelve hours a day, and seven to twelve year olds still need ten to eleven hours.
 Hunger makes children uncomfortable and cranky, and it tends to trigger bad behaviors like whining. Many children need small, nutritious snacks between meals, so don’t expect your child to last from lunch to dinner with nothing to eat. For best results, offer a combination of protein, whole grains, and produce: a few whole-grain crackers with peanut butter and a banana, for example.
 Children tend to whine when you tell them to do something they do not want to do. Minimize this problem by offering a warning in advance, rather than suddenly springing something unpleasant on your child. Say, “we’ll have to leave the playground in ten minutes” or “you’ll have to get ready for bed after one more story.” When children know what to expect, they are generally better able to adjust.
 Children often struggle to tolerate being bored; they then whine because they want attention and don’t know how to cope with boredom. If you have a whiny child, try to offer plenty of engaging age-appropriate activities. Whenever possible, some of these activities should take place outdoors, where children can burn excess energy more easily.


If you are noticing issues related to boredom, whining, and decreased attention spans, consider eliminating (or at least minimizing) the time your child spends watching television or playing with electronic devices. These activities may occupy your child and prevent whining in the short term, but they may exacerbate the problem in the long term, leaving your child unable to occupy himself without cartoons or video games.
 When children feel ignored, they often whine to get your attention. You may be able to prevent this by spending quality time with your child, even just in small moments, throughout the day. Parents are so busy that doing so can be difficult, but try:


sitting with your child and having a conversation while he or she eats breakfast
stopping for a moment to admire your child’s drawing, block tower, or other creative project
taking a ten-minute break from whatever you are doing to read your child a story
asking your preschooler or elementary school student to tell you all about his or her day at school
setting aside the hour before bedtime for quality family time and a consistent bedtime routine

, Whining often seems to be at its worst when you have to take your child with you on an errand. Children perceive banks, stores, and supermarkets as boring (or, alternatively, as an opportunity to beg for you to buy them things). Avoid whining and other bad behavior by giving your child something to do – he or she can help you find an item on your grocery list, for example.
 When your preventive measures haven’t worked, and your child starts whining, consider trying a more light-hearted approach – especially with younger children. A little fun and silliness can sometimes snap children out of a cranky, whiny mood.
 Toddlers and preschoolers, especially, can sometimes be cajoled into laughing by funny faces. If your young child is whining, and you feel the urge to turn around and scold or yell, try turning around and making a crazy face instead. You may just stop your child in mid-whine and start a fit of laughter.
 Surprise a whining child by turning their behavior around and indulging in some whining yourself. You can even exaggerate for comic effect: “Whyyyyyyyyy are you stiiiiiiiiiiiiilll whiiiiiiining like thaaaaat? I doooooon’t liiiiiiiiike it!” This may serve two separate purposes. First, it may make your child laugh and therefore interrupt the whining cycle. Second, it will let your child know how he or she sounds – younger children may not be fully aware of how annoying and ridiculous whining can sound to others.
 Like imitating your child, recording his or her whining can call attention to how ridiculous it sounds. Use your phone or a tape recorder, and record the whining, then play it back for your child.
 When your child is whining and complaining, speak back in a very soft whisper. Your child will have to stop whining, at least temporarily, to hear what you say, and he or she may start whispering as well. For younger children, this can work as a silly way to interrupt whining and shift the mood.
 Ask your child to repeat his or her request in a different tone or in full sentences. Repeat for dramatic effect: “ooh, I still don’t understand you! I wish I could understand what you are saying! Try again, please! What was that?”

, Once a child reaches elementary school, he or she should usually be able to control objectionable behavior like whining. Explain that you will not allow whining at all, and make it clear that when your child whines, you will not grant his or her requests.
 Make sure your child knows that you will listen to his or her requests and that you like talking to him or her. Just make it clear that discussions need to happen with normal voices, at normal volumes.
 Say, “I know you are upset, but . . .” and explain why you cannot do what your child is requesting. It’s fine to validate your child’s frustration, but don’t give in to an extended discussion when he or she is whining.
 When whining continues, explain that you are not going to listen to it. Send your child to another room until he or she can calm down and speak normally.
 If whining becomes a major problem in your house, let your child know that he or she will get one warning and then a time out for whining. Then stick to your rule. When your child whines, give one clear, firm warning: “You are whining right now. Speak in a normal voice, or you will get a time out.” If the whining continues, enforce the time-out.


A good general rule of thumb, for time outs, is that they should last one minute for each year of your child’s age. In other words, a five year old would stay in time out for five minutes.
 Children should never be rewarded for whining, so whatever the request is, turn it down. Implement time outs or other punishments for continued whining, but otherwise, ignore it. Don’t reward your child’s behavior by giving it undue attention.
 If you get upset, your child will know that he or she can provoke you by whining. Keep your cool.
 Praise your child's efforts to stop whining. Consider celebrating a "no whining day" at home, and offer a reward if your child makes it all the way to the end of the day. Make this a fun, light-hearted family event.
 Your child will not stop whining immediately; you’ll need to be firm and consistent, and over time, the behavior will diminish.
Change the way you look at your child’s behavior.
Make sure your child gets plenty of rest.
Manage your child’s hunger.
Explain your expectations to your child in advance.
Prevent boredom.
Offer your child plenty of attention.
Give your child specific tasks in public places.
Recognize that a silly approach can sometimes work better than a stern one.
Make funny faces.
Imitate your child’s whining.
Record your child’s whining.
Speak in a whisper.
Pretend you do not understand your child.
Make it clear that whining is unacceptable.
Discuss acceptable forms of communication.
Address whiny requests calmly and firmly.
Send your child to his or her room.
Consider time outs.
Do not give in to a whining child’s request.
Stay calm.
Reward positive behavior.
Be consistent.
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