There are many theories on communication styles, so the chances are your style is likely different from that of your guy. Knowing how to communicate well with each other should start off by finding out how you are both used to communicating separately.Start by considering the following:


We really do carry our communication styles from our childhood through our adulthood so think about how you have each grown up communicating. Was your opinion heard and respected in your family? Did you feel safe talking about your feelings? How did your family talk about unpleasant things?
Consider what you use to communicate. Do you tend to communicate more with emotions, facts or data, analysis, or humor? Do you communicate using a linear style or more in a freeform way?Think about what you want and need from your communication with your partner and then talk to each other. Ask each other what you can do to make communication easier, and be ready to accept constructive criticism and make changes for the benefit of your relationship.
 Opening up makes everyone feel vulnerable, and when people feel vulnerable they are more likely to get defensive. Establish ground rules that you can both agree on and try to uphold them even during arguments.Avoid hurtful behaviors like interrupting them, telling them what you think they mean, or name-calling.Instead of interrupting or interpreting what you think he means, just ask your guy what you want to know.
Approach each disagreement from a place of making an “our-way” solution instead of fighting with a “his-way” versus “her-way” of thinking.
Make an agreement that you will “never go to bed angry” or a word to use if one of you needs to take a break from the conversation.
 It can be tempting to try and “review the play” to see what happened, but if your guy thinks its just going to be a litany of his wrongdoings, he's less likely to open up to you at the start or in the future. Additionally, bringing up things that have happened in the past rarely helps better a relationship, but rather makes him feel like you are "keeping score."


If you find yourself using the phrase “you should have...” you are already headed down a road of blame that is not going anywhere good. Instead, try and focus on the feelings, and the underlying concerns you both have right now. Work on this by using “I” statements to communicate in a non-blaming way.
If you are insistent on looking to the past, evaluate your own behavior and see what you could have done differently and what you could change in the future., Working on communicating well in your relationship is just that, work. Take time to learn the skills and put in the practice to make it successful.Things may not change with you and your partner overnight, so have a little patience. In the meantime, there are plenty relationship and communication resources available including:


Individual Therapy to learn your personal communication style.
Couples Therapy to work together on your communication with the help of an objective person.
Weekend Workshops for couples to do more intensive work with fewer distractions.
Online Programs can accommodate busier schedules or if you'd like to work on your communication more anonymously.
Books are available if you are self-motivated and want to learn more about helping yourself.
 Realize that men and women process discussions, emotions, and pretty much everything differently.

He may need more time to work through things and figure out how he is feeling than you do. Try and give him the time and space to do so. If you need to, find things to distract yourself, or use that time to collect your thoughts and examine where you are coming from.
Know your communication styles.
Set ground rules.
Let go of the past.
Realize this is work.
Give him time to process.
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