If you can guide your man to behave in a way that is positive, it will become less and less necessary for you to feel the need to control him. All of us want a romantic partner who fulfills our needs. What we need to remember is that our needs are not always readily apparent. Try telling your partner exactly what you need from him.Try saying something like, "I am having a frustrating day. I really just need to vent right now. Can you please just listen quietly for a few minutes?"
Maybe you feel like your man is not making enough time for you. Instead of yelling, maybe you could try saying, "I know you're really busy lately. Could we schedule a time for us to go to a movie together?" By explaining what you need, you are more likely to get it.
 Even though you are both adults, your relationship could likely benefit from some ground rules. Work on these together, and make sure that you both agree to stick to the guidelines you are creating. For example, if it is important to you that you two never go to bed angry, make that one of your relationship rules.If you feel like you need to control your man's actions, try setting some guidelines in advance. For example, ask that he only spends one or two nights away from home with his buddies. He'll appreciate that you are flexible, and you'll know when you can count on him to be home.
You can also set some rules about how to communicate with one another. For example, if you aren't morning people, you can agree never to discuss a serious subject before you've had your coffee.
 Setting boundaries is a very effective way to guide your man towards the behavior you'd like him to show. The first step in setting boundaries is to acknowledge your own feelings. This will help you figure out what is important to you in the relationship. You'll be better able to articulate your needs.For example, maybe your boyfriend is constantly borrowing money from you. This might make you uncomfortable, especially if he doesn't pay it back in a timely manner. Set boundaries that dictate exactly when and how much he can borrow. Also indicate that it should be paid back.
Make it clear that crossing boundaries will impact your relationship. Articulate that these boundaries are important to you, and you will be unhappy if they are not observed.
Describe your needs.
Make relationship rules.
Set boundaries.
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