No one can plan for every potential problem that might arise.The important thing is that you understand that you have the ability to problem solve in the moment. Part of this is accepting that problems will arise. Going with the flow is having the confidence that you'll be able to handle the unexpected.


A presentation at work that relies heavily on Powerpoint might get derailed because the projector breaks down or a file won't open.
A person planning a party might have a good idea of how many people are going to show up, but must also be prepared for that number to be more or less than anticipated and adjust accordingly in the moment.
A teacher with a well thought out lesson plan must always be ready to answer questions they did not anticipate.
Don't be afraid to ask for help if you find yourself in a situation where you don't know how to proceed. For example you might ask if anyone in the meeting knows how to fix the projector. Or you might see if anyone at the party wouldn’t mind running out for more snacks if you find that you are running low.
See the humor in a situation that has turned out completely different than you expected. Say you wore a suit to a party where everyone else is dressed much more casually. This can be embarrassing, but a person who knows how to go with the flow understands that it is also not the end of the world. Using humor can lighten a stressful situation. "I'm just trying to class this place up." "I have a movie premier to get to after the party.";
, Going with the flow means sometimes giving up control, not only of the situation, but of other people. A situation might become more stressful because of the behavior of another person. Perhaps someone is late to a dinner outing and you have to wait for them to arrive before ordering. You may be at a party where someone is monopolizing the conversation, which is leading you to become frustrated. Remember that in situations like this you can’t control someone else, but you can control your own actions.Try to empathize with the other person. Why might they be acting the way they are acting?
Give them the benefit of the doubt. Most people are just trying to do their best to be happy. The person might not know that their behavior is being perceived as disruptive.
 Walk or drive a new way home from work without planning it ahead of time. Go to a new place for lunch. Order something you’re not sure you will like. Start a conversation with someone at school or at work that you don’t know very well. The more comfortable you get at putting yourself in situations that are unpredictable, the more easily you will be able to go with the flow no matter where you are.
 We may set up an idea of how we want things to go, but rarely do they work out exactly that way. Striving for perfection is striving for something that does not exist.You don't need to completely let go of your goals for a project or outing, just be sure to make room for the fact that things don't always happen precisely the way you would like them to.


Focus more on the experience than the outcome. Whether you are cooking a new meal for the first time or attending a dance class, expecting that you’ll get it perfect the first time is only going to distract you from the joy of learning how to do something new. Instead, focus on the method and the joy of each moment, rather than obsessing about the outcome.
Avoid seeing yourself as a set of accomplishments. The things we achieve in life can give us confidence and make us feel good, but it becomes dangerous when we lean too much on them for all our happiness. Think about the other things that give you joy like a sport you play, a hobby you have, or a friendship or relationship you cherish.
 Putting things into perspective can be a great tool for helping you go with the flow. When you find yourself in a situation where a loss of control is becoming stressful, take a step back and ask yourself what the actual consequences will be if things don’t work out the way you originally wanted them too.


If you and some friends planned on seeing a movie only to discover it is sold out when you get to the theater, what is the harm of agreeing to see something else that you may not be as excited about? There is always the possibility that you might like the movie even if you don’t think you will and even if you don’t, you’ll still get to hangout with your friends.
 Being surprised can be one of the best parts of life. When you are struggling to go with the flow, ask yourself what new things you may learn or experience by letting go of control.Embracing a last minute change of plans can be rewarding. The restaurant you planned to go to is too crowded? Great! This may force you to try a place you would have never gone to otherwise.
Your favorite seat in the lunchroom is taken? Look at this as an opportunity to sit next to someone you don’t know very well and get to know them better.
Maybe your boss gives you an assignment you weren’t expecting. This is a great opportunity to expand your role at work and to show how adaptable you can be.
 It can be difficult to go with the flow if you are feeling overwhelmed or anxious. Practicing some deep breathing techniques can help settle your nerves and clear your mind. Try shifting your focus to your breathing for a few minutes. Count your breaths up to seven and then back down again. Do this several times until you start to feel calm again., Dwelling on things you could have or should have done in the past will only make it more difficult for you to enjoy what is actually happening in your present. Accept that what is happening in this moment is your reality and that beating yourself or spending your time searching for someone to blame is not going to change anything. Instead, focus on what feels good about the moment. “I’m still able to spend time with my family, even though the Thanksgiving turkey is burned.”
Remember that you may not be able to change your surroundings or your situation, but you do have control over how you react to them., Maybe you taught a class where you feel like the lesson wasn’t communicated as efficiently as it could have been. Remember that you’ve also taught other successful classes and that you still have the ability to learn and grow.


Avoid “if only” statements.If you catch yourself saying things like “If only I had stayed at home,” or “If only I had planned my night more thoroughly,” stop yourself immediately. This type of thinking will only pull you out of the moment and make you feel worse.
 Keeping a journal is a really helpful way to keep track of situations where it might be difficult for you to go with the flow. Write down what it is about those moments when you feel like you need to be in control and what makes those moments so difficult for you. You can also write down times when you found going with the flow to be easier than usual. What is similar or different about those moments?, Be open to the idea that someone else can take control of the situation if need be, and that they might be able to do just as good a job as you when it comes to leading everyone through something like rain on a wedding day, a lost dinner reservation, or a boring board game night. This will not only help you feel like you can more easily go with the flow, it will take some of the pressure off of you. Don’t make yourself responsible for every decision that needs to be made. Let someone else choose where to go dancing on Saturday night and be okay with whatever comes of it.
If you are working on a group project be sure to get input from everyone involved. Don’t put yourself in charge, or allow yourself to be put in charge, of all the different parts of a project. Listening to other’s ideas will make the project seem more manageable and allow you to let go of some control., Try putting some effort into helping others have a good time. Sometimes bringing the focus off of yourself can be a great distraction when you are having trouble going with the flow. Putting your focus on someone else will also help you stay present in the moment rather than sinking back into regret or guilt.Engage them in conversation. Ask them to join your team on board game night. Offer to dance with them or get them a drink.
 Be confident and clear about how you feel about a change in plans or idea. As long as you are open to what others have to say, your contribution will come off as helpful and you may be able to compromise with your friends. Think about a night out as a collaborative effort.


“I think seeing the movie after dinner is a good idea, but I’m worried we might feel rushed to finish our meal in order to get there on time. Perhaps we should see an earlier show and eat after? Or see the midnight showing and just get drinks in between? What do you guys think?”
“I’m fine finishing up the spreadsheets but I don’t think I will be able to give them the attention they deserve if I’m also responsible for assembling the materials for the meeting. Could we split that task up among the group?”
Realize that you can’t control everything.
Accept that you can’t control others.
Practice exposing yourself to the unknown.Try doing a small unpredictable thing each day.
Let go of the idea that things need to be perfect.Things are never going to be perfect.
Look at the big picture.Overall, will going along with a change of plans have any long term effects on your happiness?,
Think about what you have to gain by going with the flow.
Breathe.
Live in the moment.
Try to focus on the positives.If you are stuck brooding over things that have gone wrong try to shift your thinking to focus on the things that have gone right or that you have done well so far.Maybe your presentation at work didn’t go quite the way you expected, but you can still focus on the work you’ve done for the project overall.
Keep a journal.
Trust that other people’s ideas can be as good as yours.
Focus on someone other than yourself.
Express your concerns.
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