Forget your table manners. Chew your food as loudly and obnoxiously as you can. Always chew with your mouth open. Fart, burp, sneeze, and be generally disgusting by covering your face in spaghetti.
 When leaving, always complain about the service and food. Make certain your complains are as inane as possible: "My pizza slice had three pieces of pepperoni on them!, "I wanted four ice cubes, not five!"


If it is a restaurant with balloons on each table for kids, go around taking all the balloons and claim you collect them for a living.
Come in the restaurant dressed up as a caveman. Have the five o' clock shadow and everything too. And instead of replying with "Yes." say "UGH!" instead.
 When the server asks "What would you like to eat?" respond, "Food!" If the server suggests a dish to you, scream at the top of your lungs, "I'm allergic to that!"


Try pointing to a dish on the menu, asking, "What's in that?" When your server answers, pick a random ingredient (lima beans, for example) and scream, "I hate lima beans!"
Tell your server that you need four extra seats for your imaginary friends. If they refuse, shout that you'll tell Santa that they have been naughty.
Order random and/or impossible things. For example, "I would like the Blue Jean Sandwich with a side of toilets, please. I would also like an elephant. Oh, and don't forget the monopoly. How's the Tinker Bell here?"
Sit on a reserved table or a really large table alone and refuse to move.
Eat really loudly.
Be rude.
Mess with the servers.
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