If the stress comes from difficulties in your relationship, make a distinction between such problems and the relationship itself. You shouldn't let one single difficulty affect the entire relationship.


Find out what doesn't work in the relationship and address this specific issue by using what does work as a point of strength., What makes a reaction different from a response is its intensity and emotional subtext. Think your answers through. If one implies anger, sarcasm, accusations, it's a reaction. This will only turn communication into a table-tennis match where the goal is to win rather than to find a solution. However, a team always plays on the same side.Don't phrase your comments as judgments or blame your partner out of spite. This can only lead to further stress and misunderstanding.You can do this by focusing on future objectives rather than past actions. If you were disappointed at your partner's not doing the dishes, seize the next occasion to ask them to do the dishes, without mentioning the fact that they didn't in the past.
Don't invalidate your partner's opinions just to win an argument. Proving yourself right might be good for your ego, but it never makes a team stronger.Understand that, when we're angry, communication follows war patterns: aggression and defense. You should avoid both, and try to bring the conversation back to equal terms. Express ideas as positive statements, without using them as weapons or shields., If your partner's tone becomes aggressive or judgmental, point it out gently and ask what was behind the message. What we say is usually not as important as why we said it. This will help you address the original source of stress, instead of spending time arguing over a harsh reply.Be tolerant if your partner has a bad reaction. If this happens repeatedly, point out this is not a useful discussion. It will never lead to a solution but only further stress., This is the golden rule of any relationship. Showing each other respect through what you say or do will decrease the level of stress, whether the source is external or internal.Respect means having equal power in a relationship. What you say or do is just as important as what your partner says or does. Stress, instead, always derives from a power imbalance. For example, one of the two partners might be overly controlling or submissive., Stress can also come from failed expectations. If that is the case, the problem is in what you expected rather than what your partner failed to provide. You chose your partner with all his or her faults and weaknesses, not as a fixer-upper. Love rests on acceptance and confidence.A consequence of acceptance is forgiveness. Your partner might have done something wrong. If your relationship is what matters the most, however, you should let go instead of holding grudges.
 Every relationship calls for continuous rearrangements and resolutions of conflicts. If communication is smooth and equal, negotiation happens as a natural process. This also means you should know how to lose or give up an argument, if that's not what matters the most to you.


Surrendering doesn't mean passively fulfilling all of your partner's wants. It is an active choice to downsize your desire to be always right or in control. However, this must also occur on a mutual basis. If you're the one surrendering all the time, there is a power imbalance that needs to be worked out., If you think stress has had too much of an impact on your relationship and that you and your partner cannot solve the problem on your own, discuss with him or her the possibility of seeking professional help. A counselor will offer an objective point of view and help you focus on strategies to attack the problem.If your partner doesn't want to join you, you can still meet with a counselor or therapist on your own. This will provide an external outlet where you can take out your stress and get professional advice on how to deal with it.
Isolate the problem in your relationship.
Give responses, not reactions.
Discuss rough reactions openly.
Respect your partner and expect respect in return.
Trust and accept your partner as he or she is.
Be open to negotiation and surrender.
Talk to a relationship coach if needed.
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