Even though it feels bad to dwell on mistakes we’ve made, many people replay those things over and over again in their heads. Allow yourself forgiveness, and see what you can learn from your mistakes.You can’t change the past, but you can learn valuable lessons from it. Tell yourself how great it is that you’ve learned something new and can change the way you do things in the future.
If you remember certain times that you acted in an attention-seeking way in the past, forgive yourself for those things, too. The fact that you can acknowledge those behaviors means you can work to prevent them in the future.
Talk to yourself kindly, the way that you would to a friend having a difficult time. Say to yourself, "I know I messed up that time, but I was doing my best in the moment. Everyone messes up sometimes. It's okay, and I'll try to do things differently next time."

, Choose ways that you want to practice being authentic each day. This can mean doing something that you enjoy by yourself, or reciting an important affirmation to yourself.Practice being yourself and acting in a way that feels genuine, without worrying what people will think. You can make a practice of doing one thing each day, when you feel that you’re being true to how you feel in the moment. This could mean saying something honest that you haven't before, such as, "Actually, I don't like going to that cafe very much." It can also mean doing something differently, such as wearing an outfit that's comfortable, even if it's not stylish.
You can develop personal affirmations to help you accept yourself. You can say something like, “I am a valuable, lovable person the way that I am,” or, “I accept and love all aspects of myself even as I work to grow and change.”

, Mindfulness refers to trying to stay present wherever you are, without getting lost in thoughts or feelings that take you out of the moment. Mindfulness is most often practiced through meditation techniques. However, there are many ways to practice mindfulness.You can find books or websites that offer meditation techniques, or visit a meditation center to find guidance on how to begin meditating.
If meditating isn’t right for you, practice mindfulness by noticing the physical sensations you’re experiencing. If you start to get distracted by guilt, shame, or unpleasant memories, just notice the feeling of your clothes on your skin, or your feet on the ground.
 It is almost impossible to make a change in ourselves if we don’t consciously commit to doing so. If you want to change or eliminate your attention-seeking behavior, make a commitment to do so, and to take specific steps toward that goal.Write down your commitment. You can put it on a calendar, marking the day you commit to start working on it.
Write down daily or weekly goals, such as, “I will meditate for five minutes each day,” or, “Each week, I will volunteer 5 hours of my time to a charitable cause.”
Tell someone else about your commitment. Tell a trusted friend or family member. They can check in on you to see if you’ve followed through on your commitments.
 If you're an attention seeker, you probably try to spend lots of time with other people. Practice spending time by yourself, too. Set a goal for how much time you'll spend alone each day or week.


When you're alone, do things that you enjoy. This will help being alone feel more fun and enticing. You can read your favorite books and magazines, walk around your favorite park or neighborhood, or dedicate time to a favorite hobby.
It may be uncomfortable to spend time alone at first. However, push through that discomfort and you'll begin to cherish the time you get by yourself.
 Once you have a practice for making positive changes, take time to reflect and see how you're progressing. You can do this by writing in a journal, asking for feedback from someone you trust, or simply taking some time to think back on the past day or week.


Be gentle with yourself as you progress. Making big changes in yourself doesn't happen overnight.
Praise yourself for any positive changes. Give yourself credit for the work you've done. Say to yourself, "Great job. You've really been doing your best at this, and it's working."
Forgive yourself for your mistakes.
Create a daily practice of authenticity.
Practice mindfulness.
Commit to making the change.
Spend quality time alone.
Monitor your progress.
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