About that Supreme Court decision on the 10 Commandments Monument…

As you probably heard, the Oklahoma Supreme Court ruled yesterday that the much-maligned 10 Commandments Monument atop the steps of our State Capitol is unconstitutional. Apparently, it violated Article 2, Section 5 of some document called the Oklahoma Constitution.

Via The Tulsa World:

The Oklahoma Supreme Court on Tuesday said the Ten Commandments monument at the state Capitol must be removed. The plaintiffs said its placement at the Capitol constituted the use of public property for the benefit of a system of religion, which is banned by the Oklahoma Constitution. The monument, a gift from Rep. Mike Ritze, R-Broken Arrow, and his family, was recently reinstalled after a man drove a vehicle into it. Because the monument operates for the use, benefit or support of a sect or system of religion, it violates the Oklahoma Constitution, the five-page opinion said.

Oddly enough, I bet God was pretty damn happy with this ruling. It seems like he’s been trying to get the monument removed since it first went up three years ago. First he distracted the monument engraver and let loose a couple of typos. That didn’t seem to bother anyone, so then he tried to scare everyone with the Baphomet thing. That also failed, so he finally just commanded a mentally ill person to destroy the monument. That was successful… for a couple of weeks until they rebuilt it. I guess God eventually realized the only way to get things done nowadays is through the courts. Kind of sad, huh?

Obviously, the Supreme Court’s decision ignited the typical angry knee-jerk reaction from the Derplahoman crowd. People who have not written a complete sentence since they typed a letter asking for help with the church bake sale hopped on Facebook to share their frustration and outrage with the ruling, and in the process, remind us all why our state is consistently ranked near the bottom in categories like reading, writing and arithmetic.

Most of the people placed the blame squarely on the shoulders of tyrannical unelected activist judges who, as we know, are hell-bent on banning Christianity in all forms and destroying a nation that was founded on Biblical principles.

For example:

The Derplahomans on Facebook were not the only people upset with the Supreme Court’s ruling. Their leaders were, too.

Scott Pruitt, our Attorney General who I’m pretty sure has never won a court case, came up with the following statement. There’s no word if he had to run it by Larry Nichols at Devon:

“Quite simply, the Oklahoma Supreme Court got it wrong. The court completely ignored the profound historical impact of the Ten Commandments on the foundation of Western law. Furthermore, the court’s incorrect interpretation of Article 2, Section 5 contradicts previous rulings of the court. In response, my office will file a petition with the court for a rehearing in light of the broader implications of this ruling on other areas of state law. In the interim, enforcement of the court’s order cannot occur. Finally, if Article 2, Section 5, is going to be construed in such a manner by the court, it will be necessary to repeal it.”

Yeah, the court “quite simply” got the whole thing wrong. Let’s look at Article 2, Section 5 and see what it simply says:

No public money or property shall ever be appropriated, applied, donated, or used, directly or indirectly, for the use, benefit, or support of any sect, church, denomination, or system of religion, or for the use, benefit, or support of any priest, preacher, minister, or other religious teacher or dignitary, or sectarian institution as such.

I’m no legal scholar, and I did drop out of Vacation Bible School when I was 7, but at last check, the State Capitol is public property, and the 10 Commandments is a religious document. Therefore, it seems like the Court got the decision absolutely right.

Of course, you can’t blame Pruitt for the statement. What do you expect him to say:

“Dear uneducated, lower IQ people who eat at Mackie McNear’s or Western Sizzlin’ on Friday nights, the Supreme Court is right on this one. We can’t allow religious monuments on public land. Now please vote for me in 2018 when I run for Governor. “

Hell, you can actually say Pruitt’s response was tame. He didn’t mention the words Obama, Activist Judges or Sharia Law. I was expecting him to call for the Supreme Court to be abolished and replaced with a tribunal of pastors, ministers and elders from area mega-churches. I guess he wanted to leave the real crazy stuff for the Derplahoman caucus of the Legislature.

Check out what they had to say in the following press release issued by bowl cut enthusiast Kevin Calvey. To refresh your memory, he’s the same guy who threatened to set himself on fire to protest the evil inside the Supreme Court:

Several state GOP lawmakers today called for judicial reform and for the impeachment of seven state Supreme Court justices who made a political ruling to ban a Ten Commandments monument from the grounds of the Oklahoma State Capitol. The lawmakers include state Reps. Kevin Calvey (R-OKC), Casey Murdock (R-Felt), Lewis Moore (R-Edmond), Dan Fisher (R-Yukon), George Faught (R-Muskogee), Jason Murphey (R-Guthrie), Paul Wesselhoft (R-Moore), Sally Kern (R-OKC), Sean Roberts (R-Hominy), Mark McBride (R-Moore) and David Derby (R-Owasso). “Our state Supreme Court is playing politics by issuing rulings contrary to the Constitution, and contrary to the will of the clear majority of Oklahoma voters,” Calvey said. “These Supreme Court justices are nothing more than politicians in black robes, masquerading as objective jurists. This ruling is the Court engaging in judicial bullying of the people of Oklahoma, pure and simple. It is time that the people chose jurists, rather than letting a tiny special interest group of lawyers at the Oklahoma Bar Association dictate who can and can’t be a judge.” Calvey, himself an attorney, said the ruling, like others made by the state Supreme Court, has no basis in law.

I think my favorite part about this statement is where Kevin Calvey mentioned that he is, in fact, a lawyer, like it gives him some sort of credibility over everyone else.

I hate to point this out to Mr. Calvey Esq., but there are 22 attorneys in our legislature. Guess what? None of them wanted to be associated with your bat shit crazy idea to impeach the supreme court! Although they’re not foolish enough to admit it in public (remember, we live in Derplahoma), they probably respect our democracy and system of checks and balances for what it is and the protection it supplies. They realize the government occasionally needs a Supreme Court to do the right thing and protect the minority from the incompetent, greedy, theocrats with bowl haircuts in the majority.

Anyway, with the State Supreme Court’s decision being all but final, expect the movement to repeal Article 2, Section 5 of the Oklahoma Constitution to become a campaign issue and appear on the 2016 ballot. Knowing our state’s history with these things, it will probably pass, then be challenged by the ACLU, and then after we spend a few million dollars defending it, be struck down and deemed unconstitutional by the US Supreme Court. And then the Derplahomans will hop on Facebook again, nutty politicians will issue statements, and we’ll be here rolling our eyes writing about it.