DAVENPORT, OH—While making campaign stops in Ohio Thursday, Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney stopped by the Morningside Assisted-Living Center, where he talked exclusively to elderly men and women who will still be alive and physically able to vote this November. "President Obama has given us a failed economic policy, a job-killing health care plan, and out-of-control government spending, but if I'm elected, I can promise a better, brighter America for you, you, you, not you, definitely not you, and…you," Romney said while shaking the outstretched hands of only the healthiest-looking residents in the Morningside dining hall. "Together, the five of us can help turn this country back into the thriving, prosperous place it once was." At press time, Romney was waiting for his advisers to check the medical records of a smiling 92-year-old woman before returning her wave.

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