At the rate he’s going, James Franco will only be content when he has received a Ph.D. in James Franco studies from James Franco University located on beautiful James Franco Island. The Dicknose in Paris auteur’s latest project is a college class about him, which he’ll be teaching, called “Editing James Franco with… James Franco.” I hope that on the first day, he walks in carrying a boombox, sets it on his desk, hits play, and a massive “BRAAAAAAHM” echoes throughout the lecture hall.

Wait, check that part about the lecture hall. This class will be offered at Columbia College Hollywood, in lovely Tarzana, California. No lecture hall, only carport.

Academy Award-nominated actor James Franco has partnered with Columbia College Hollywood to offer an innovative course through which 12 of the private film school’s best editing students will create a 30 minute documentary film from videographic footage from Mr. Franco’s own unorthodox career. Mr. Franco’s frequent collaborator editor and Tyler Danna [sic] is teaching the course, which has been entitled Master Class: Editing James Franco…with James Franco. Mr. Franco is providing the footage – much of it from behind the scenes on short films he has directed – and the conception for the course and will speak to the students weekly via live feed (Skype) and attend class the weekly class sessions [sic] when his schedule allows. The student editors will seek to create a cinematic image of James Franco through the footage. As conceived by Mr. Franco and Mr. Danna, the class sessions themselves will be taped and be part of the final film created by the class or another project. [official press release via Movieline]

Additionally, all the students will be required to build, maintain, and at all times wear an incredibly life-like James Franco mask. Schedule permitting, Franco will occasionally pop into class and give a lecture, which will consist solely of him saying, “Francovich francovich? Francovich francovich francovich,” while writing “Francovich” on the chalkboard. At which point, the students will all write “Francovich Francovich Francovich” in their journals, on the covers of which will be a large, standardized picture of James Franco wearing a t-shirt with a picture of James Franco.

(*cough*) JAMES FRANCO! (*cough, cough*)

PASSERBY: Phew, James Franco! That sounds like a nasty cold.

ME: Oh yeah, my hand to James Franco, it is. Anyway, James Franco, and a merry James Franco to you and yours on this fine James Franco, sir.