(KUTV) It's normal for kids to hang out at the neighbors, have a late night and sometimes a sleepover if they're lucky.

As it turns out, such activities are not just for kids.

All across Utah, neighbors are hooking up with each other. But they're not sneaking around behind their partner's backs. Instead, couples are knocking on the neighbors' doors together. They're sending risqué group texts and doing things many can't even imagine.

There's a name for this kind of grown-up activity. It's called "swinging," and if you go by the numbers of Utahns signed up with online groups of like-minded people, there are thousands of active swingers in the Beehive State.

Swinging, in case you haven't heard, is also known as wife swapping or partner swapping. It is a non-monogamous relationship, where partners in committed relationships engage in sexual activities with others for fun.

Swinging in Utah has been viewed as urban legend. Many have dismissed the idea as petty gossip.

But, after plenty of research, we can tell you, swinging in Zion is a real part of the culture.

One woman's story

2News' Heidi Hatch sat down with a woman who was a part of Utah's swinging community for a year.

She came forward to tell her story, hoping others will listen to her experience before dipping their toes in a lifestyle that she says ripped her family apart.

This former swinger, whom we'll call Susan to protect her identity, agreed to talk about how she started swinging, ended up with gonorrhea, messed up her marriage, was excommunicated from the LDS church and became an alcoholic.

Susan was married for 20 years to a man she loved, the last year of which she said was spent hooking up with others swingers at hot spots like Club 90 in Sandy and Habits in Salt Lake City.

The parties, Susan said, were fun for a while. Many were private, invite -only events at homes you'd never expect - those belonging to doctors, lawyers, business owners.

Many of the rumors about swinging in Utah are rooted in Draper, where Susan said spent time at a party house owned by a couple who didn't actually live there. Neighbors knew it was a swinger house, she said, and complained to police about the cars parked in front.

Draper police were called, Susan recalled, but there was nothing they could do, because swinging is not illegal.

"A lot of activity [also happened] in Davis County, like parties in Kaysville and Farmington," Susan said. One party house sat in the shadow of the LDS temple in Bountiful, a site that made her cringe as a Mormon.

Swinging, she said, soon began to tear apart her marriage and family, one hook up at a time.

"[It was] fun and exciting for a short time, but it destroys families," she said. "[Couples] are fighting, there's wars, a lot of bickering and threats. It's not this easy-going lifestyle."

After 12 months of walking on Utah's wild side, Susan decided she was done. But her husband wasn't.

"He chose the lifestyle over his family," she said, admitting she shares the blame for a marriage broken apart by the very thing she thought would save it.

In a rut

works with couples dealing with such "ruts."

"A lot of people can go into it wanting something deeper in their marriage or [if] they are just feeling a lull," she said of couples wanting to add spice to their relationships.

More and more couples in Utah are taking the turn toward swinging, and with the rise of social media, it's become easier to find other other couples. One of many popular avenues: locally run website, .

The swing of things



Susan, a suburban mom, said she was oblivious to the world of swinging until she stumbled on the Swingular account her husband created for them. You sign up online to find out where other swingers hang out, she said. Like dating, you meet up before anything else happens, usually at seemingly normal backyard BBQ's.

"They were like, 'if you are not interested in it, that's OK, come and hang with us. We think you are a great couple and fun,'" Susan recalled.

Looking back, Susan said she feels like she was groomed into the lifestyle.

"It was a lot of pushing by my ex-husband, a lot of coercing. He had friends call and talk to me about it."

After three months, Susan agreed to give it a try, but she had ground rules.

"[We said] if either one of us was done with the lifestyle, we would just say stop." But that didn't happen, she said, noting that her husband continued a relationship with one of the couples.

Soon after, Susan said she tested positive for gonorrhea. They were careful when they were together at parties, she said, but she contracted the STD after he engaged in solo sex with another woman.

A 'couples' activity'



being a "couples' activity" makes it appealing to some.

"You are not leaving your spouse, you are doing it together, you are agreeing it's honest and it's transparent," she said. "That's why it can seem like it's not cheating."

Susan said she agreed to swing because it was something they planned to do together. She had gained some weight over the years and thought it could bring back the spark. "[I thought, if I] gave him this, it would save my marriage," she recalled.

For a short time, Susan thought maybe her husband was right. The adrenaline rush and late-night orgies were fun, she said, and played out her "husband's much-talked about fantasies."

It was appealing, she said, because he got a little jealous, "and that excited him."

Hodson said sex with others can be a fantasy for many couples, but "a lot of fantasies are best never taken into the reality realm." Swinging can work for some, she said, but only both partners are completely and truly OK with seeing their spouse with someone else.

That wasn't the case for Susan, who preferred to be in a different room from her spouse when they engaged in sex with others. "I didn't want to see my husband in the arms of another woman."

A 'risky' lifestyle



Susan turned to drinking to get up the courage to continue swinging with her husband, she said. And she was not alone. Studies show that risky sexual lifestyles like swinging are a gateway to drug and alcohol abuse.

Six months in, Susan says her "eyes started to open." She would see people hurting emotionally, couples grow apart and, on one occasion, a party with children at home. As a mother, Susan said she was shocked and told her husband she wanted to leave.

The couple who lived in the home, she recalled, "followed us out and said it was OK [because] they [kids were] five and six and [wouldn't] remember anything."

Healthy sexuality



On swingular.com many couples state in their profile they're "in it for fun" and that other couples should know "family comes first." But are the two concepts compatible?

Hodson asks a question in return: "What are we doing to really teach healthy sexuality in our community? What are we teaching about relationships and intimacy, boundaries and all the things that go along?"

Hodson said she isn't surprised so many Utah couples are swinging and thinks the activity could be linked to the conservative approach to sex and sexuality. A conservative community where families don't talk about intimacy, she said, can create an environment for adults who act out sexually.

"I call it the underground," she explained. "Sexuality can spill out in other places because you don't have channels for healthy sexuality."

It's smart, Hodson said, to really think about whether swinging is a lifestyle you truly want with your spouse. "Have someone else say, 'Have you thought about this? Have you thought about that? If you hear about the good and the bad and still want to join, then that is your choice."

Susan said she never asked those questions and is sharing her story. "I don't think I will ever be totally healed from the choices I made," she said.

Follow Heidi Hatch on and .

Photographed and edited by Matt Michela



