Almost everyone has heard about the parent who caught their child smoking and, instead of grounding them, they decided to “teach them a lesson” by making them smoke an entire pack of cigarettes one after the other. Whether you agree with this punishment or not, you have to admit, the parent that did this first was definitely thinking outside the carton. It seems that this story may have inspired a whole generation of judges who think that humiliation is a better crime deterrent than boring old fines and jail time. Here’s ten bizarre court punishments issued by judges.

10. Thieves in Pennsylvania Must Hold Signs Admitting Crime Against a 9-Year-Old Girl



Evelyn Border and her 35-year-old daughter were spending their Saturday at Wal-Mart cruising for an easy mark. When they spotted a 9-year-old girl setting her gift card on the shelf while she looked at some toys, they knew their day wasn’t wasted. While the little girl was distracted, the mother-daughter team swiped the card off the shelf and made a brisk walk to the door. The criminal masterminds were quickly apprehended and were facing a trip to the big house. In order to avoid prison, the team agreed to hold signs in front of the courthouse for four hours on a Tuesday that read: “I stole from a 9-year-old girl on her birthday! Don’t steal or this could happen to you!” Think they learned their lesson? (source)

9. Judge Issues Mandatory Yoga Classes to Abusive Husband in Texas

This is not the man sentenced

Domestic violence is certainly not a laughing matter and in this particular case the creative sentence was in addition to fines and probation. The defendant, who was found guilty of slapping his wife, was ordered by the judge to attend yoga classes for a year. The judge was hoping that yoga would help the defendant with his anger issues. (source)

8. Oregon Poachers Sentenced to 90-days Jail Time Each Hunting Season



The Donoho family was looking to spend some time together, just father and son out in the woods; camping, talking about life, shooting hundreds of deer and stealing identities in order to shoot even more deer…you know, bonding. In Oregon though, and probably everywhere else in the world, killing over 300 deer in a five-year period is illegal (most hunters are only allowed one deer per hunting season). Stealing identities in order to buy fake hunting licenses is also illegal. The judge decided that this case deserved a punishment that would fit the crime. So, in addition to tens of thousands of dollars in fines, probation, and community service, the Donoho family has to spend 90-days in jail during every hunting season for the next four years. (source)

7. Indiana Judge Makes Man Carry Sign for Skipping Jury Duty



The ubiquitous “sign-spinners” have been a growing trend in American marketing and, in Indiana at least, they have influenced more than just sales. After a 22 year old decided that making it to jury duty wasn’t worth the effort, a judge in Indiana ordered him to stand in front the of the courthouse holding a sign that announced his crime to all the downtown traffic that day. This particular judge has now ordered this sentence twice, so his secretary may want to make a run to Staples for poster board and markers. (source)

6. Man Sentenced to Book Reports in Oakland



In California, Otis Mobley and friends thought it would be a good idea to offer to sell someone a grenade launcher and then rob them at the meeting. When they discovered that the interested party was an undercover federal agent, there was a shootout and Otis made a run for it. Not long after, he was captured and had to appear in front of a judge. Maybe it was California’s overcrowded prison system, or maybe the judge had always wanted to be a fourth grade teacher, but she decided that Otis could be released on bail while he awaited trial as long as he read books for at least an hour a day and completed book reports. (source)

5. Ohio Man Must Hangout With a 350-lb Pig in Public

Via Shutterstock

Police officers have a difficult job. They risk their lives every day. So when Steven Thompson came walking by making obscene hand gestures while calling the officers “pigs,” they were not amused. The judge did have a sense of humor, however, and sentenced Mr. Thompson to stand on the street with a real pig, wearing a sign that says, “These are not policemen.” Perhaps this judge was also the head of his fraternity hazing committee. (source)

4. Rap Fan Issued 20-Hours of Classical Music Listening in Ohio



The fine for bumping rap music too loudly in an Ohio suburb is $150. After reviewing the case, a judge decided that this fine would not be enough to teach Andrew Vactor a lesson. She offered to reduce the fine to $35 if Vactor agreed to spend 20 hours listening to classical music. At first he was thrilled, thinking that listening to classics like Funky Cold Medina and Bust a Move would be a fun a way to spend a day. He quickly learned, however, that the judge intended for the punishment to be 20 hours of Bach and Beethoven, not 20 hours of Big Daddy Kane and Ice Cube. So, after 15 minutes, Vactor decided that he would rather just pay the full amount of the fine. (source)

3. Fighting Florida Couple Sentenced to Dinner at Red Lobster

Flowers, a nice card, bowling, and dinner at Red Lobster, sounds like a nice birthday, right? That’s what the judge who ordered it thought and it is exactly the evening Sonja Bray got for her birthday. It is definitely nicer than the strangulation that her husband Joseph was giving her for her birthday when the police broke up the party. Somehow a judge in Florida thought that forcing the Brays to go on this date, along with marriage counseling, would be better than fines or jail time for Joseph. Word is that Joseph tried to sneak them over to Sizzler instead. Some guys will never learn. (source)

2. Yawning in Court Gets Chicago Man 6 Months Behind Bars

Clifton Williams was just looking to provide moral support for his cousin, Jason Mayfield, who was in court to plead guilty on a felony drug charge. Apparently the court house in Chicago was not quite as entertaining as TV’s Night Court and Clifton let out a big yawn. Well, Judge Daniel Rozak was not as understanding as Judge Harry and immediately sentenced Clifton to six months in prison, the maximum penalty for contempt of court. The irony is that Mayfield walked out of court on probation while his cousin Clifton was hauled off to jail for half a year. Perhaps, that Judge Rozak is responsible for more than a third of all the contempt of court charges in the area in the last ten years. If Clifton needs a lawyer, it’s a safe bet that John Larroquette is available. (source)

1. Oklahoma Teen Sentenced to 10-Years of Church Attendance After DUI Manslaughter Conviction



17-year-old Tyler Alred made a horrible decision. He drank, he drove, and he hit a tree. The end result was the death of his friend and he was facing a prison sentence for DUI Manslaughter. The judge in Oklahoma, however, came up with a different punishment than prison: 10 years of mandatory church attendance. The high school student is not fighting the decision (duh) and, apparently, he was already a regular at church. Some may say that he is getting off easy, and those people would be right, but maybe this bizarre sentence will work. (source)

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