Articles by Chelsey Brooke Cole - Narcissism Therapist Home About Me Work with Me Services Specialties Testimonials Resources Articles Narc Abuse Tips Connect with Me FAQ Contact Leave a Review Quizzes Select Page articles on life Writing isn’t just a hobby for me – it’s a passion. Since I was a child, writing has been a way of learning, understanding, sharing, reflecting, inspiring, & motivating myself & others. I’m honored to share them with you & welcome your comments or suggestions. We’re all growing together! articles on life Writing isn’t just a hobby for me – it’s a passion. Since I was a child, writing has been a way of learning, understanding, sharing, reflecting, inspiring, & motivating myself & others. I’m honored to share them with you & welcome your comments or suggestions. We’re all growing together! articles on life Writing isn’t just a hobby for me – it’s a passion. Since I was a child, writing has been a way of learning, understanding, sharing, reflecting, inspiring, & motivating myself & others. I’m honored to share them with you & welcome your comments or suggestions. We’re all growing together! Chelsey’s articles Discover transformational articles on healing from narcissistic abuse, interpersonal trauma, toxic relationships, gaslighting, thriving as an introvert/empath, self-worth, intuition, anxiety, relationships, self-trust, boundaries, & more! Narcissists Use Information Against You by Chelsey Brooke Cole Thoughtful questions make us think that the speaker is thoughtful, too. That’s why narcissists ask all kinds of “thoughtful” questions at the beginning of a relationship. You assume they’re “getting to know you”…. When in reality, they’re “sourcing” you for resources. read more Narcissistic Delusion by Chelsey Brooke Cole Narcissists often seem “out of touch” with reality. And this isn’t just because of their gaslighting and denial. It’s also because they can be incredibly delusional! The most obvious way you see this is through their “delusions of grandeur”. They think they’re… read more The Perfect Candidate for a Narcissist by Chelsey Brooke Cole Narcissists are on the hunt for people with specific behaviors and traits. This is because their difficult and antagonistic personalty style means that they’re not very “agreeable” or “easy going”.So they need certain types of people around them in order to behave the way they want to… read more Narcissists Believe Everything is For, Against or About Them by Chelsey Brooke Cole Narcissists are incredibly egocentric. Meaning they believe everything is FOR, AGAINST, or ABOUT them. This is KEY to understanding why you feel GUILTY so often in narcissistic relationships. read more The Subtle Ways Narcissists Reveal Themselves by Chelsey Brooke Cole Narcissists are always living a double life. So they remain slightly paranoid that they will be “found out”. Which is why they’re so intent on distracting you, gaslighting you, and confusing you. But what they DON’T say… is even more telling than what they DO say. read more How Narcissists Use Mental Health Concepts Against You by Chelsey Brooke Cole We mix real mental health terms into our daily lives, calling someone we don’t like a “narcissist” and claiming to have “bipolar” because we can’t decide what we want for lunch. But when we flippantly use serious mental health concepts in a frivolous way… The terms lose their significance and impact. “Narcissist” went from a word no one used – to a word everyone uses. read more Is There a Difference Between Dysfunctional and Abusive Behavior? by Chelsey Brooke Cole How can you tell if you’re in a relationship with a *toxic* person (and need to run away immediately)... Or a *dysfunctional* person? I believe many times we end up tolerating toxic relationships because we aren’t sure where the line is. We think things like: We can... read more Are You Walking On Eggshells In Your Relationship? by Chelsey Brooke Cole “Walking on eggshells” is a term we often associate with physically abusive relationships. It’s the idea that you end up feeling like you have to “walk on eggshells” so you don’t *upset* the abuser - in this way, you’re trying to keep yourself safe. Walking on... read more People Lie – But Their Actions Do Not by Chelsey Brooke Cole We should be looking *much* more closely at someone’s actions than their words. People can say anything they want. We use the same process (speaking) to tell both a truth and a lie. Many people become overwhelmed with trying to decipher what’s healthy or unhealthy,... read more The Hidden Trauma Associated With A Neglectful Narcissist by Chelsey Brooke Cole When you’re being devalued by a neglectful narcissist, they put you down in subtle ways. They act like you don’t exist. If you cry, they don’t console you or show emotion. If you talk to them, they look right through you. If you try to connect with them, they give you a punishing silent treatment. Over time, the neglect adds up and starts impacting you in ways you may not even recognize as being caused from their abuse. read more Healthy People Don’t Play Games In Relationships by Chelsey Brooke Cole Do you know why you always feel so confused, foggy, and disoriented when dealing with toxic people? Because you’re only EVER dealing with the tip of the iceberg. What they’re SAYING vs. what they’re DOING (when you’re not looking) - are two VERY different things. So... read more The Facade of a Narcissist by Chelsey Brooke Cole Are narcissists *always* cruel?Why can they be both nice AND mean at times?They don’t treat everyone poorly - maybe I’m the problem? Let’s break this down. Most narcissists are very charming, act like social chameleons and can blend in seamlessly into any environment.... read more What Are Flying Monkeys And How Can They Harm You? by Chelsey Brooke Cole Walking away from or setting boundaries with toxic people is difficult enough on its own. But add in flying monkeys? And it can feel near impossible. You see, narcissists can only survive if people believe their lies and manipulations. That’s why they’re often very... read more Relationship Myths That Will Destroy You by Chelsey Brooke Cole Some relationships myths will destroy you, here’s why. We’ve all heard them. Relationship advice that’s supposed to “help” you. It tells us what to believe about relationships. How to make relationships “work”. And what you can and can’t expect from a significant other. Some are based on wise truths. But most are overly simplified opinions that should never have been normalized in the first place. read more The Facts About Reactive Abuse by Chelsey Brooke Cole Reactive abuse happens when a person (the victim) eventually reacts to the abuse that is happening to them. For example, if someone has chronically demeaned, belittled, or criticized you, and you eventually lash out and yell at them, that’s reactive abuse. read more « Older Entries Chelsey’s Articles Discover transformational articles on healing from narcissistic abuse, interpersonal trauma, toxic relationships, gaslighting, thriving as an introvert/empath, self-worth, intuition, anxiety, relationships, self-trust, boundaries, & more! Narcissists Use Information Against You by Chelsey Brooke Cole Thoughtful questions make us think that the speaker is thoughtful, too. That’s why narcissists ask all kinds of “thoughtful” questions at the beginning of a relationship. You assume they’re “getting to know you”…. When in reality, they’re “sourcing” you for resources. read more Narcissistic Delusion by Chelsey Brooke Cole Narcissists often seem “out of touch” with reality. And this isn’t just because of their gaslighting and denial. It’s also because they can be incredibly delusional! The most obvious way you see this is through their “delusions of grandeur”. They think they’re… read more The Perfect Candidate for a Narcissist by Chelsey Brooke Cole Narcissists are on the hunt for people with specific behaviors and traits. This is because their difficult and antagonistic personalty style means that they’re not very “agreeable” or “easy going”.So they need certain types of people around them in order to behave the way they want to… read more Narcissists Believe Everything is For, Against or About Them by Chelsey Brooke Cole Narcissists are incredibly egocentric. Meaning they believe everything is FOR, AGAINST, or ABOUT them. This is KEY to understanding why you feel GUILTY so often in narcissistic relationships. read more The Subtle Ways Narcissists Reveal Themselves by Chelsey Brooke Cole Narcissists are always living a double life. So they remain slightly paranoid that they will be “found out”. Which is why they’re so intent on distracting you, gaslighting you, and confusing you. But what they DON’T say… is even more telling than what they DO say. read more How Narcissists Use Mental Health Concepts Against You by Chelsey Brooke Cole We mix real mental health terms into our daily lives, calling someone we don’t like a “narcissist” and claiming to have “bipolar” because we can’t decide what we want for lunch. But when we flippantly use serious mental health concepts in a frivolous way… The terms lose their significance and impact. “Narcissist” went from a word no one used – to a word everyone uses. read more Is There a Difference Between Dysfunctional and Abusive Behavior? by Chelsey Brooke Cole How can you tell if you’re in a relationship with a *toxic* person (and need to run away immediately)... Or a *dysfunctional* person? I believe many times we end up tolerating toxic relationships because we aren’t sure where the line is. We think things like: We can... read more Are You Walking On Eggshells In Your Relationship? by Chelsey Brooke Cole “Walking on eggshells” is a term we often associate with physically abusive relationships. It’s the idea that you end up feeling like you have to “walk on eggshells” so you don’t *upset* the abuser - in this way, you’re trying to keep yourself safe. Walking on... read more People Lie – But Their Actions Do Not by Chelsey Brooke Cole We should be looking *much* more closely at someone’s actions than their words. People can say anything they want. We use the same process (speaking) to tell both a truth and a lie. Many people become overwhelmed with trying to decipher what’s healthy or unhealthy,... read more The Hidden Trauma Associated With A Neglectful Narcissist by Chelsey Brooke Cole When you’re being devalued by a neglectful narcissist, they put you down in subtle ways. They act like you don’t exist. If you cry, they don’t console you or show emotion. If you talk to them, they look right through you. If you try to connect with them, they give you a punishing silent treatment. Over time, the neglect adds up and starts impacting you in ways you may not even recognize as being caused from their abuse. read more Healthy People Don’t Play Games In Relationships by Chelsey Brooke Cole Do you know why you always feel so confused, foggy, and disoriented when dealing with toxic people? Because you’re only EVER dealing with the tip of the iceberg. What they’re SAYING vs. what they’re DOING (when you’re not looking) - are two VERY different things. So... read more The Facade of a Narcissist by Chelsey Brooke Cole Are narcissists *always* cruel?Why can they be both nice AND mean at times?They don’t treat everyone poorly - maybe I’m the problem? Let’s break this down. Most narcissists are very charming, act like social chameleons and can blend in seamlessly into any environment.... read more What Are Flying Monkeys And How Can They Harm You? by Chelsey Brooke Cole Walking away from or setting boundaries with toxic people is difficult enough on its own. But add in flying monkeys? And it can feel near impossible. You see, narcissists can only survive if people believe their lies and manipulations. That’s why they’re often very... read more Relationship Myths That Will Destroy You by Chelsey Brooke Cole Some relationships myths will destroy you, here’s why. We’ve all heard them. Relationship advice that’s supposed to “help” you. It tells us what to believe about relationships. How to make relationships “work”. And what you can and can’t expect from a significant other. Some are based on wise truths. But most are overly simplified opinions that should never have been normalized in the first place. read more The Facts About Reactive Abuse by Chelsey Brooke Cole Reactive abuse happens when a person (the victim) eventually reacts to the abuse that is happening to them. For example, if someone has chronically demeaned, belittled, or criticized you, and you eventually lash out and yell at them, that’s reactive abuse. read more « Older Entries Chelsey’s Articles Discover transformational articles on healing from narcissistic abuse, interpersonal trauma, toxic relationships, gaslighting, thriving as an introvert/empath, self-worth, intuition, anxiety, relationships, self-trust, boundaries, & more! Narcissists Use Information Against You by Chelsey Brooke Cole Thoughtful questions make us think that the speaker is thoughtful, too. That’s why narcissists ask all kinds of “thoughtful” questions at the beginning of a relationship. You assume they’re “getting to know you”…. When in reality, they’re “sourcing” you for resources. read more Narcissistic Delusion by Chelsey Brooke Cole Narcissists often seem “out of touch” with reality. And this isn’t just because of their gaslighting and denial. It’s also because they can be incredibly delusional! The most obvious way you see this is through their “delusions of grandeur”. They think they’re… read more The Perfect Candidate for a Narcissist by Chelsey Brooke Cole Narcissists are on the hunt for people with specific behaviors and traits. This is because their difficult and antagonistic personalty style means that they’re not very “agreeable” or “easy going”.So they need certain types of people around them in order to behave the way they want to… read more Narcissists Believe Everything is For, Against or About Them by Chelsey Brooke Cole Narcissists are incredibly egocentric. Meaning they believe everything is FOR, AGAINST, or ABOUT them. This is KEY to understanding why you feel GUILTY so often in narcissistic relationships. read more The Subtle Ways Narcissists Reveal Themselves by Chelsey Brooke Cole Narcissists are always living a double life. So they remain slightly paranoid that they will be “found out”. Which is why they’re so intent on distracting you, gaslighting you, and confusing you. But what they DON’T say… is even more telling than what they DO say. read more How Narcissists Use Mental Health Concepts Against You by Chelsey Brooke Cole We mix real mental health terms into our daily lives, calling someone we don’t like a “narcissist” and claiming to have “bipolar” because we can’t decide what we want for lunch. But when we flippantly use serious mental health concepts in a frivolous way… The terms lose their significance and impact. “Narcissist” went from a word no one used – to a word everyone uses. read more Is There a Difference Between Dysfunctional and Abusive Behavior? by Chelsey Brooke Cole How can you tell if you’re in a relationship with a *toxic* person (and need to run away immediately)... Or a *dysfunctional* person? I believe many times we end up tolerating toxic relationships because we aren’t sure where the line is. We think things like: We can... read more Are You Walking On Eggshells In Your Relationship? by Chelsey Brooke Cole “Walking on eggshells” is a term we often associate with physically abusive relationships. It’s the idea that you end up feeling like you have to “walk on eggshells” so you don’t *upset* the abuser - in this way, you’re trying to keep yourself safe. Walking on... read more People Lie – But Their Actions Do Not by Chelsey Brooke Cole We should be looking *much* more closely at someone’s actions than their words. People can say anything they want. We use the same process (speaking) to tell both a truth and a lie. Many people become overwhelmed with trying to decipher what’s healthy or unhealthy,... read more The Hidden Trauma Associated With A Neglectful Narcissist by Chelsey Brooke Cole When you’re being devalued by a neglectful narcissist, they put you down in subtle ways. They act like you don’t exist. If you cry, they don’t console you or show emotion. If you talk to them, they look right through you. If you try to connect with them, they give you a punishing silent treatment. Over time, the neglect adds up and starts impacting you in ways you may not even recognize as being caused from their abuse. read more Healthy People Don’t Play Games In Relationships by Chelsey Brooke Cole Do you know why you always feel so confused, foggy, and disoriented when dealing with toxic people? Because you’re only EVER dealing with the tip of the iceberg. What they’re SAYING vs. what they’re DOING (when you’re not looking) - are two VERY different things. So... read more The Facade of a Narcissist by Chelsey Brooke Cole Are narcissists *always* cruel?Why can they be both nice AND mean at times?They don’t treat everyone poorly - maybe I’m the problem? Let’s break this down. Most narcissists are very charming, act like social chameleons and can blend in seamlessly into any environment.... read more What Are Flying Monkeys And How Can They Harm You? by Chelsey Brooke Cole Walking away from or setting boundaries with toxic people is difficult enough on its own. But add in flying monkeys? And it can feel near impossible. You see, narcissists can only survive if people believe their lies and manipulations. That’s why they’re often very... read more Relationship Myths That Will Destroy You by Chelsey Brooke Cole Some relationships myths will destroy you, here’s why. We’ve all heard them. Relationship advice that’s supposed to “help” you. It tells us what to believe about relationships. How to make relationships “work”. And what you can and can’t expect from a significant other. Some are based on wise truths. But most are overly simplified opinions that should never have been normalized in the first place. read more The Facts About Reactive Abuse by Chelsey Brooke Cole Reactive abuse happens when a person (the victim) eventually reacts to the abuse that is happening to them. For example, if someone has chronically demeaned, belittled, or criticized you, and you eventually lash out and yell at them, that’s reactive abuse. read more « Older Entries Have an Article Request? Let Chelsey know what topic, issue, or question you’d like her to write about next! Name Email Message 13 + 11 = submit Have an Article Request? Let Chelsey know what topic, issue, or question you'd like her to write about next! Name Email Address Message 14 + 9 = submit Have an article request? Let Chelsey know what topic, issue, or question you'd like her to write about next! Name Email Address Message 12 + 3 = submit Facebook Twitter Instagram Say Goodbye to Staying Stuck! 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