Example of a model in set theory where the axiom of extensionality does not hold? I recently started a course in set theory and it was said that a model of set theory consists of a nonempty collection $U$ of elements and a nonempty collection $E$ of ordered pairs $(u,v)$, the components of which belong to $U$. Then the elements of $U$ are sets in the model and a set $u$ is interpreted as an element of $v$ if $(u,v) \in E$. It was also said that $U$ can also be a set and then $E$ is a relation in the set $U$ so that the ordered pair $(U,E)$ is a directed graph and reversely, any ordered graph $(U,E)$ can be used as a model of set theory.
There have been examples of different models now where some of the axioms of ZFC do not hold and some do, but the axiom of extensionality has always held and I for some reason don't seem to comprehend enough of that axiom and its usage. Can someone tell an example of some collections $E$ and $U$ where the axiom of extensionality wouldn't hold?

The axiom of extensionality says:
$$\forall x\forall y\left(x=y\leftrightarrow \forall z\left(z\in x\leftrightarrow z\in y\right)\right)$$
Obviously, if two sets are the same then they have the same elements. So in order to violate this axiom we need to have different sets which the model would think have the same elements.
If you just want a model of sets in which the axiom of extensionality does not hold, consider for $a\neq b$ the following: $$\left(U=\Big\{\{a,b\},\{a\},a\Big\}, \in\right)$$
We have that $a\in\{a\}$, and $a\in\{a,b\}$. Since $a\neq b$ we have that $\{a\}\neq\{a,b\}$, however for all $x\in U$ we have $x\in\{a\}\leftrightarrow x\in\{a,b\}$.
This is because $U$ does not know about $b$. It just knows that $\{a,b\}$ and $\{a\}$ are two distinct beings. It is unable to say why, in terms of $\in$ relation.
The problems begins when you want more axioms. The more axioms you would want to have, the more complicated your universe will have to get.
