I buy the latest issue of Vogue , because my favorite actress -lrb- Gwyneth Paltrow -rrb- be on the cover . I think , ick ! what a girly wirly magazine . I like smell the page , though , and take the sample . sometimes I get papercut !! what a stupid magazine it give you paper cut , no other mag . have do that to I . do not buy it if you hate blood . . you finger will be full when you flip to , like , the fifth page ! it be a basically , buy this get this free magazine . I flip to the first page , cut up the book with my knife in 1067 piece , -lrb- I count -rrb- and feed it to my dog , Gumby , and my dog choke on the piece ! I be send a big , 30 page complaint letter that say these page be chokable , a little baby could tear of a piece , plop it in he mouth and die ! come back home and find a dead baby in you crib . oh well , no more smelly diaper to change ! would be the only good side of a dead baby . not to mention , Gumby be now alive but slowly die of Morencelucoius Voguelmagozolocus , a disea where animal digest page . look it up , ask you mom , it be true .  if you buy this magazine , ghost will haunt you in you dream , say thing like , you must die because you buy Vogue ! it happend to I and I could not sleep for the past seventy three day . no joke , I count . anyway , now I hate Gwyneth , they make she sound so terrible and stuff , and now it be convinced I , even though it might not be true , and I seriously can not stand she ! and what kind of name be Vogue ! it be hard to pronounce , I think it be Vogoo so I ask the Magazine Store lady and she say something mumblish and I say , what ! she yell at I because I could not hear she , what a witch with a b instead of W. so now I call it vogoo . not my fault . they should make the front page say , it be pronounced : -lrb- whatever it be -rrb- with those thing or else people will stop buy it because it be way to hard to pronounce ! I prefer Crayola Kids magazine and kid planet . plus , every single word in Vogue be spell wrong , I count this special issue only I get , not you , and ever single word , -lrb- I check in the dictionary -rrb- be wrong ! this be how they spell the word i : Eye . Am : Em . Vogue : Vugoe . what idiot ! anyway , get Kid planet it be the best for all age and Crayola Kids have fun craft so buy it , buy it , buy it ! unless you poor stick you boring old , paper choke , weird smell , ugly , typoed magazine .  bye !