[PREVIOUSLY_ON]
Lydia : I have cancer.
Haley : Oh, no, no, no.
Lydia : It's pancreatic.
Brooke : Julian?
Mouth : We don't know what tomorrow will bring. I want to go out with you... On a date.
Clay : Excuse me. Are you Katie Ryan?
OUTSIDE ON THE SET
Paul : What's his problem?
Alex : Costume malfunction.
Josh : I'm not coming out!
Paul : This isn't funny, josh!
Josh : No, it's not!
Julian : What's his deal?
Paul : Maybe he wants to know why his director Is an hour late to set.
Julian : No sleep. Don't ask. Josh?! Get out here before I tell everybody who you went home with last Saturday.
Josh : This is bull...
Julian : Someone find... Brooke! What the hell is this?
Brooke : It's the jogging scene. Is there a problem?
Julian : The problem, Brooke, is that my romantic lead looks like the love child of Richard Simmons and a village person.
Brooke : Well... I guess I made a huge, stupid, unforgivable mistake. Imagine that.
Julian : Brooke, this is not the costume we agreed on.
Brooke : Well, then, I guess I'm also a dirty, no-good liar. Good morning, Paul.
Paul : So that's it!
Josh : No special effects, baby. If you like what you see, that's exactly what I'm working with.
Alex : Um, barf.
AT SCOTT'S HOUSE
Lydia : Hey, Tay, it's your mother. Again. Call me, honey.
Haley : It smells suspiciously like birthday chicken-dumpling soup in here.
Lydia : Well, I was feeling particularly energetic this morning, and it's the least I can do for having missed your birthday.
Haley : Well, you didn't miss my birthday, mom. I just didn't get your message because I was at that fundraiser.
Lydia : Same difference. We didn't speak on your birthday. First time ever.
Haley : Well, I would continue to argue with you, but I really want soup. So can I please stir the dumpling batter?
Lydia : Ah, you know you can, sweetie. It's always been a two-person recipe, baby.
Haley : Hey, mom. I love you.
Lydia : Oh...Good...Lord. You have been saying that every 10 minutes since you learned I have cancer. I'm not gonna keel over in the soup pot, Haley.
Haley : Okay.
Lydia : But in case I do... I love you, too. Now, let's not be morbid. Stir.
AT THE HOTEL ROOM
Girl : Dressed to kill at 9:00 in the morning. Either you met a boy or... You met a boy.
Katie : I met an agent. A very cute agent. With a very expensive car and a very naked ring finger.
Girl : And did this miracle of nature and bachelorhood sign you to his agency?
Katie : I'm meeting with him this morning. He'll either sign me or marry me. Either way, this just might be the first day of the rest of my life.
ON THE STREET
Lauren : S-o-o-o... Shall we get to the elephant in the room?
Mouth : Sure. His name is Harold, and he's very sweet. He never forgets, but he's very forgiving.
Lauren : Mm-hmm.
Mouth : And on that note... I'm really sorry I asked you out.
Lauren : It's okay.
Mouth : No, it's not. I had too much to drink. And Haley was at Tric giving this kind of "carpe diem" speech that just makes you want to stand on your desk and tear the pages out of your textbook. And I just... I got carried away.
Lauren : Well, I was flattered. Seriously. It's just...
Mouth : Skills.
Lauren : Actually, it's more Millicent. You were just jealous of her hanging out with Owen. Look... I really like you. But I would rather be your partner in crime than your rebound.
Mouth : Wheel man or bag man?
Lauren : Bag lady. No. Bag...Woman? I'll just take the food.
Mouth : Yeah.
AT SCOTT'S HOUSE
Haley : Hey. What are you looking at?
Nathan : It's your mom's funeral arrangements. She left them here on the desk. It's like contracts.
Haley : This is how it ends, huh? With a line-item total.
Nathan : Hales, it's okay. I can... I can read through this stuff.
Haley : How am I supposed to do this, Nathan?
Nathan : The same way you always do... Gracefully and courageously... And with me at your side every step of the way. Okay?
Haley : Okay.
IN A COFFEE SHOP
Katie : So, Mr. Agent... Tell me this is just the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
AT SCOTT'S HOUSE
Haley : "Let's not be morbid"? You left your funeral arrangements lying around, mom. Mom? Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! No, no, mom. Hey! Hey! Nathan! Nathan! Nathan!
IN THE DRESSING ROOM
Alex : It's just amazing how difference between good a day and a bad day can come down to a good, long... Ouch!
Brooke : You were saying?
Alex : I was saying a good, long sleep can totally give you an attitude adjustment. You should try it.
Brooke : Like it was the sleep.
Alex : Oh, you're grumpy because we had s*x, aren't you?
Brooke : Excuse me?
Alex : I told him not to tell you. Besides, it just sort of happened, and then it just sort of happened again and... Ouch! Son of a...
Brooke : It just sort of happened.
Alex : Whatever. Ouch!
Brooke : And then it just sort of happened again.
IN A COFFEE SHOP
Katie : I know my stats could be better, But I'm training like crazy. And let's be honest... They're better than Anna Kournikova's were at my age. And at the risk of sounding a little conceited, I, like Anna, could make a wheaties box look good.
Clay : You're right... On all accounts. I have no doubt that you have a very bright future ahead of you, you know, both professionally and commercially. B-but I-I can't represent you.
Katie : I don't get it. Then why am I here?
Clay : Because I thought I could. But I can't. And I can't really explain it. I'm sorry.
Katie : Well, if you can't sign me... The least you can do is take me out on a consolation date.
Clay : A date?
Katie : Come on. I saw the way you were looking at me last night. You were practically imagining our babies.
Clay : Look, I'm... I'm sorry...
Katie : Hey. It's okay. I think you're hot, too.
Clay : Hi. When? I'm so sorry. I'm on my way. Yeah. Yeah.
Katie : Call me when the fire's put out.
Clay : I'm sorry, but that's not gonna happen, Sara.
Katie : "Sara"?
Clay : Right. I mean Katie.
Katie : Who's Sara?
Clay : I got to go.
AT CLOTHES OVER BROS
Brooke : Hi, daughter. Hi, mother. How was your morning on the set, daughter? Oh, it was just fine, mother. Fine until the ex love of my life and current bane of my existence made it very clear to me that they did the wild thing last night! This is where the motherly sympathy is supposed to start kicking in!
Victoria : Sorry. I've been, um, wasting all my self-pity on me. But if misery loves company, I did get stood up last night.
Brooke : Paul stood you up? What a toad!
Victoria : I never said it...
Brooke : You didn't have to. It is so clear to me that the Julian apple did not fall far from the sleazy Paul tree!
AT THE HOSPITAL
Lydia : Did I ruin the soup?
Haley : Well, that depends on whether or not you think my floor is clean enough to eat off.
Lydia : And I was looking forward to that. And in my condition, one can only do so much looking forward.
Quinn : It's okay. You're gonna be around long enough to make a lot more soup.
Lydia : Hey, girls. It's okay. The doctors talked to me, too. And I know that I... I don't have much time. But it's okay. I had wonderful visits with each of my children.
Quinn : It's not fair. Doctors promised you a few more months.
Lydia : Cancer doesn't care much for promises, baby. I mean, after all, I promised myself that I would stick around until you two were right with Taylor again.
Haley : Well, great. You'll be here forever.
Lydia : God. You all were probably too young to remember, but...You three girls were... You were inseparable at one point. I mean, look.
Haley : That's a long time ago.
Quinn : Yeah. She seems almost human here.
Lydia : Two out of three. Ain't bad.
Haley : Ain't bad.
Lydia : Come here. My sweet things.
AT TAYLOR HOTEL ROOM
Taylor : You should really call first.
Quinn : Mom's dying.
Taylor : Yeah, eventually.
Quinn : No. Now. She collapsed this morning, and they don't think that... This it it, Taylor. This is the time to say goodbye.
Taylor : I don't think so.
Quinn : Please stop. Look, I don't know what your problem is. And I-I don't understand you at I don't know when or why you became such a colossal, selfish bitch. But I know that you're my sister. And I love you. And I know that mom wants to see you. And I know that it's the right thing to do.
Taylor : Well, you also know that I rarely do the right thing.
Quinn : Taylor, please.
Taylor : Fine. I tried. Way to go, perfect daughter! What the hell is this?
Quinn : That's the real you. The sister you used to be.
Taylor : I... I don't want this, Quinn! I don't want this.
AT THE HOSPITAL
Haley : Well, that must have been some dream you were having. You were awfully smiley.
Lydia : I was dreaming about your dad. I woke up smelling his cologne. Huh.
Haley : What kind did he wear?
Lydia : Stetson. Back when I first met him, He was something of a dime-store cowboy.
Haley : A cowboy? Dad? We can't be talking about the same father.
Lydia : You'd be surprised what you don't know about that man. Or about both of us, actually.
Haley : Like what?
Lydia : Oh, I don't know.
Haley : Well, come on, like... Did you guys have a song or...
Lydia : "Don't think twice, it's all right" by Bob Dylan.
Haley : That's a breakup song.
Lydia : I know, but it's what was playing in that old Chevy Pickup the first time that we...
Haley : uh, uh, "kissed," please. Se."kissed."
Lydia : Oh, now, that... That was at a Christmas mixer. Mistletoe... Nat king cole on the record player. Huh. I felt that kiss in my toes. Mm.
Haley : And you won his n his heart wir chicken-dumpling soup, huh?
Lydia : I won his heart... With a note that I left in his jean-jacket pocket. I won his stomach with my chicken-dumpling soup.
Haley : I don't even have the recipe.
Lydia : Well, give me a pen. Come on. Here. Now... The secret, as you know... Is to stir the batter slowly. And whole peppercorns. None of that table stuff. And always start with a whole chicken, okay?
AT SCOTT'S HOUSE
Nathan : Hey, Jame! We need to talk, buddy.
Jamie : Man to man?
Nathan : Yeah. When you were at Andre's this morning, your grandma got sicker. She's in the hospital now. And, um, she'd like to see you.
Jamie : She's gonna die now, isn't she?
Nathan : Man to man? Yeah, buddy. Pretty soon. You want to talk about it?
Jamie : If it wasn't for grandma, I wouldn't have Chester.
Nathan : Didn't your mom and I buy you Chester?
Jamie : Yeah, but you didn't really have a choice. Grandma taught me to wish on a star.
Nathan : And you wished for Chester?
Jamie : Wouldn't you?
Nathan : Yeah.
Jamie : Can I have a few minutes before we leave?
Nathan : Sure. I'll be downstairs with your mom, all right?
ON THE SET
Julian : All right, let's go, people! Rehearsal's up!
Alex : It was crazy-hot. When he finally caught his breath enough to speak, he actually called it a religious experience. I know. But the last girl he was with practically qualifies for a senior discount. I know.
Brooke : Julian? Have you called last looks for hair and makeup yet?
Julian : No. Why?
Brooke : Just trying to be professional.
ON THE SET
Julian : Alex, you okay?
Alex : I'm fine. Ouch. Wow. Ouch.
Julian : Get off my set.
Brooke : Do you have any idea the kinds of things she has been saying about...
Julian : I don't care, Brooke! Get off my set!
Brooke : Julian!
Julian : I don't care!
Brooke : Yeah, I guess you've made that pretty obvious. Excuse me.
AT SCOTT'S HOUSE
Nathan : It smells awesome.
Haley : It's my mom's recipe.
Nathan : You okay?
Haley : Yeah, I was just... Where's Jamie?
Nathan : He'll be downstairs in a second. Haley. He knows.
Haley : I thought we decided we weren't gonna tell him.
Nathan : He guessed. Of course he did. He's so familiar with death.
Haley : Why wouldn't he?
Nathan : Haley.
Haley : Ow! Damn it!
Nathan : Are you okay?
Haley : Mm-hmm.
Nathan : Are you okay? Is it bad?
Haley : Yeah, it's bad. It's really bad. My mom's dying, and I'm making soup! Because there's nothing else that I can do because I can't stop it because nothing can stop it!
Nathan : Okay. All right.
Haley : There's just... this is so... There's so many moments and there's so much that go with her when she dies. I don't know what the right questions are to ask. And I don't... I'm not ready for this. I'm just really not ready.
Nathan : Nobody ever is.
AT CLOTHES OVER BROS
Alexander : Whoa. You're all right?
Brooke : In movies, you never see how much punching hurts the puncher.
Alexander : And who did the puncher punch?
Brooke : Alex.
Alexander : Because?
Brooke : Because I went to Julian's hotel room last night, and I saw Alex naked in his bed, and I could hear him in the shower.
Alexander : Oh, dear.
Brooke : Yeah. You said it.
Alexander : No, I meant... "Oh, dear, I don't know whose room she was in, but Alex was with me last night. And she was very naked."
Brooke : You?
Alexander : Yes.
Brooke : Not Julian?
Alexander : No.
Brooke : In Julian's hotel room?
Alexander : Apparently.
Brooke : Oh, my God!
Alexander : Hey, come on! Look, whatever you've done... How... how bad can it be?
ON THE SET
Paul : We're completely screwed. We can't shoot a thing until the swelling goes down.
Julian : Okay.
Paul : "Okay"? This is a $50,000-a-day operation. Let's do the math before we call it "okay."
Alex : I am so sorry.
Julian : This is not your fault. We'll just...
Paul : Roll with the punches?
Julian : Right now your job is to keep ice on that eye, okay?
Josh : Uh, looks like we're gonna get a couple days off. You know what's good on a black eye?
Alex : If you say, "raw meat," I will tear out your tonsils, tie off your weiner bag, and castrate you like a bull.
Josh : Well, you mess with the bull... You know what you get.
Alex : That doesn't even make sense!
AT THE HOTEL ROOM
Katie : Well, well.
AT THE HOSPITAL
Lydia : I could smell it coming all the way down the hall. Ah, here's the real test.
Haley : How's it taste? Is it too salty? Are the dumplings soggy?
Lydia : It's perfect.
Haley : It's not perfect. I made it myself, and it's a two-person recipe.
Lydia : Oh, sweetie.
Haley : I followed your recipe to the letter. And when it was finished, I realized that it's not the soup I love. It's making it with my mom.
Lydia : Okay.
Haley : And now she's leaving me.
Lydia : I may have some unconventional beliefs about the afterlife, but I can tell you right now I have no intention of leaving you. You just prepare to be haunted, Haley James Scott.
Jamie : Hi, grandma!
Lydia : Oh, goodness gracious! When did they start letting squirrels into the hospital? Get on up here, boy. Give your old grandmother a kiss. What you got there, huh?
Jamie : "The Handsomest Husky." Mom reads to me whenever I'm sick. It pretty much makes me feel better. You want to hear it?
Lydia : I can't think of anything that I would like more.
Jamie : "Once upon a time, there was a dog named Andy. Everybody loved Andy. He was very handsome. Andy had a best friend. His name was mike. Andy and mike did everything together."
AT CLOTHES OVER BROS
Victoria : Why is the store closed? And why are you lying on the floor?
Brooke : I'm trying to pick a place to hang myself.
Victoria : Oh, don't be so dramatic.
Brooke : Apparently it's best to find a load-bearing beam. I don't think we have one.
Victoria : Fine. You want to talk about it?
Brooke : What is there to discuss? I'm the donkey in a big, stupid Shakespearean mix-up.
Victoria : You're not making any sense.
Brooke : Alex slept with Alexander, not Julian.
Victoria : Oh.
Brooke : So, I ruined wardrobe... Bitched out the one man who makes my world turn... And clocked an interloping hoochie whose only mistake was boning Crocodile Dundee.
Victoria : You realize you're overlooking the best part of this... Julian didn't sleep with Alex. And as far as that Shakespearean play, as I recall, the donkey gets turned back into a person once he realizes what an ass he's been.
Brooke : You think I should go talk to Julian?
Victoria : It's far less tacky than suicide.
Brooke : Thanks, mom.
AT THE HOSPITAL
Quinn : Hi, mom.
Lydia : Hey.
Clay : Hey. How you feeling?
Lydia : Ooh, a little tired. What's with all the hardware?
Clay : Your daughter and I have been working on something special for you. I'll be right back.
Quinn : Okay.
Lydia : Now, you know that I loved David, but... I have the same feeling about Clay that I did with Nathan. I think he's one of the good ones.
Quinn : Yeah. He's special. I really love him.
Lydia : Well, have you told him?
Quinn : Not yet. But I think he's pretty clear on that.
Lydia : Oh, you do, do you? Well, just in case you haven't figured this out yet, men need to be hit over the head with things. Sometimes frying pans. But mostly love. Don't be afraid to do it.
Quinn : Am I that obvious?
Lydia : You have always been my heart girl, the one with the most unbridled passions. Just give your head permission to follow your heart, okay?
Quinn : Okay. I promise.
Taylor : Hi.
AT ALEX'S HOTEL ROOM
Brooke : Oh, my God!
Alex : Didn't know your own strength, did you, bamm-bamm?
Brooke : Uh...I was...
Alex : You're looking for Julian. Come in. He switched rooms with me last night because the guys In the room next to me were keeping me up with their... Whatever they were doing.
Brooke : Which explains why he was exhausted today.
Alex : Can I ask why you punched me? Because I know we weren't gonna, like, braid each other's hair anytime soon, but I kind of thought we were okay.
Brooke : We were. We are. I... I came here last night, late. You were sleeping, and I guess it was Alexander in the shower?
Alex : But you thought it was Julian. I wish. Seriously, I'm not gonna lie to you, Brooke, But it's never gonna happen between us. You know why? Because whether you guys continue to push each other away or not, he knows what it's like to really be in love. I never had a chance.
Brooke : Alex, I'm sorry. For everything.
Alex : Me too. For everything.
AT THE HOSPITAL
Lydia : I'm so glad you came. You know it's all right to be upset about all of this. I mean... Lord knows I am. It's pretty upsetting stuff.
Taylor : I came to tell you that I'm sorry for being such a disappointment.
Lydia : Is that what you think? That I'm disappointed with you?
Taylor : Why wouldn't you be? I'm awful. All of my siblings are talented or smart or both. And I'm just Taylor. Nobody likes Taylor.
Lydia : I do.
Taylor : You have to say that. You're my mother.
Lydia : Get over here. Come here. Here is something... That nobody else knows. Of all of my kids, You are the one who reminds me the most of myself.
Taylor : I don't believe it.
Lydia : Well, that's because you've only known Lydia the mom. But there was a very... Taylor-ish Lydia before that. And that's why I have never had any doubt that you will find your way, because I did. And you can fight this all you want, But you are going to end up happy.
Taylor : I've been so awful. How can you still love me?
Lydia : Oh, God! My sweet baby. My love for you has never been in question. The only question here is : How long is it going to take for you to love yourself? Because wherever I am, wherever I go from here... I will never, ever let go of you.
Taylor : Please don't leave.
Lydia : It's okay. It's okay.
AT CLOTHES OVER BROS
Alexander : Victoria, I just want to say...
Victoria : Don't bother. I know why you stood me up. You were with that snotty little actress.
Alexander : It was just s*x. It... Victoria, you and I are different, okay? You and I are... are...
Victoria : Finished! Good night, Alexander.
AT THE HOSPITAL
Jamie : I have a surprise for you.
Lydia : I love surprises. What is it?
Jamie : Make a wish.
Taylor : What's going on?
Lydia : An audience. Listen.
Taylor : I'm really sorry. I know that I have been a lousy sister. And I totally don't deserve it...But if you could maybe give me another chance. Okay? From now on, I'll be better.
Quinn : It's okay.
Lydia : Thank you.
ON THE SET
Brooke : I know I'm banned from the set, but I need to clear something up.
Julian : Well, this better be good. That black eye's gonna cost us about 100 grand.
Brooke : If it helps, it cost me my dignity.
Julian : Brooke, what the hell happened today?
Brooke : I thought you slept with Alex.
Julian : So, basically, you still don't trust me.
Brooke : No. Basically I got jealous. Because I'm in love with you, Julian, and I always will be. And that's gonna make me do stupid things sometimes because love is crazy. And I've been crazy. I know. First, I thought you were falling for Alex, and then, last night, I went to your hotel, and I thought you fell for Alex. I'm sorry.
Julian : You think too much, Brooke Davis.
AT THE HOSPITAL
Quinn : Are you comfortable?
Lydia : Yes.
Quinn : Okay, mom. Here we go.
Lydia : Oh, my goodness. My beautiful babies.
IN FRONT OF CLOTHES OVER BROS
Victoria : How long have you been out here?
Alexander : I like you.
Victoria : Okay?
Alexander : I know I slept with Alex. But I like you. A lot... I like...
AT JOSH'S HOTEL ROOM
Josh : Nice job other eye. Not good enough for film, but definitely good enough for s*x.
Alex : If you talk, I can't pretend you're somebody else.
AT THE HOSPITAL
Lydia : I guess I did all right, didn't I?
Haley : You did everything, mom.
Lydia : Hello, handsome.
AT MOUTH APPARTMENT
Mouth : Come in.
Lauren : Hey.
Mouth : Hey.
Lauren : Okay, look, I wasn't worried about being your rebound, Mouth. I was worried you'd be mine.
Mouth : What are you saying?
Lauren : I'm saying...
Skills : What the hell. Anybody home? Hey, baby.
AT SCOTT'S HOUSE
Jamie : Something smells awesome.
Haley : Mm. This is your grandma's chicken-dumpling soup. And you are just in time.
Jamie : I am?
Haley : Yes. Did you know that this is a very special chicken-dumpling soup recipe that specifically calls for a handsome 7-year-old boy named Jamie to stir the dumpling batter?
Jamie : What are the chances?
Haley : I don't know. Now, the secret is to stir the batter slowly. And the whole peppercorns, not the table stuff.
AT SCOTT'S HOUSE
Clay : Hey. What's up?
Quinn : What's up is that I love you. In case you didn't know.
Clay : I love you, too. Nothing's ever gonna change that.
AT THE HOTEL ROOM
Katie : Did I tell you? I'm gonna get that agent.
Girl : He decided to sign you?
Katie : Not yet, but he will. 'cause it turns out...I'm his type.
Plan: A: Brooke; Q: Who is angry with Alex for trying to seduce Julian? A: Julian; Q: Who did Alex have a tryst with? A: Lydia; Q: What character's condition worsens? A: Taylor; Q: Who do Quinn and Haley try to reconnect with? A: Katie's unsettling advances; Q: What is Clay forced to deal with? A: Nathan; Q: Who helps Jamie come to terms with Lydia's impending death? A: Sinéad O'Connor; Q: Who wrote the song that inspired the name of this episode? Summary: As Brooke angrily deals with Alex's tryst with Julian, Lydia's condition worsens, prompting Quinn and Haley to try to reconnect with Taylor. Clay is forced to deal with Katie's unsettling advances, and Nathan helps Jamie come to terms with Lydia's impending death. This episode is named after a song by Sinéad O'Connor .