INT. - HIGH SCHOOL GIRL'S BATHROOM - DAY
[A couple of teenaged girls in private school outfits, China and Amber, stand in front of a school bathroom mirror, putting makeup on.]
[title card: San Fernando Valley, Last Year]
[The camera pulls back to reveal, in the mirror, a few men standing on the other side of the bathroom with movie cameras and microphones. One of them, the director, stands with them.]
Director: Bring in the pussy light!
[Another man walks in and sets down a lamp on a tripod. China and Amber start to unbutton their shirts and position themselves up against the sinks, for filming.]
Director: You good?
[Amber leans back against the sink. China faces her, against her. The guy who brought the lamp exits.]
Director: And... action.
[The girls start kissing.]
Director: China, get started, there.
[China starts to kiss down Amber's body.]
Director: Amber, get into it.
[Amber starts to moan.]
Director: Now, in walks the Principal.
[The Principal - a guy about the same age as China and Amber - walks in.]
Director: You ready man, you got wood?
[The Principal nods.]
Director: Okay. So, at first, first you're mad.
[The Principal glares at the girls. The girls stop and turn toward him.]
Director: Get in there.
[The Principal approaches the girls.]
Director: Girls, you're embarrased, and surprised.
[The girls feign surprise.]
Director: Now you're hot.
[The girls feign arousal.]
Director: China, blow him.
[China unzips the Principals' pants and starts to give him a blowjob.]
Director: (to Principal) Pop on her face, give her a facial, and uh... (to China) When he's done that, China?
[China stops and looks over at the director.]
Director: Look up and say, "That was great."
China: (nodding) "That was great."
Director: "That was great."
[main titles]
INT. - BETTE & TINA'S HOUSE - KITCHEN - DAY
[Tina stands at the counter, idly stirring a bowl of eggs. After a moment, she turns around, sinks to the floor and begins to sob.]
[Bette enters, on her way to work. She sees Tina on the floor.]
Bette: Aw, Tina. (kneels) Oh. It'll take time, but we'll get through it. Allright? (pets Tina's hair) We'll get through it. C'mon.
[Bette helps Tina stand.]
EXT. - TIM'S HOUSE - DAY
[Jenny, looking really rough, is sneaking around outside the house. She hears Tim talking to a girl - Trish, from his swim team.]
Tim: (offscreen) I'm glad you came over. So... I'll call you after class?
Trish: (offscreen) Okay. Have a good day.
Tim: (offscreen) Bye.
Trish: (offscreen) Bye, Tim.
[Jenny sneaks up to a window and tries to peek in. Trish comes out to go to her car. She sees Jenny.]
Jenny: Oh. Hi. Trish.
Trish: Hi.
[Trish heads to her car to avoid the uncomfortable moment. Jenny keeps talking to her.]
Jenny: Um. I'm just on my way to the grocery store. Um. To get some bread.
[Jenny starts inching away from the window, back to the garage in the backyard.]
Jenny: For toast.
[Trish gets into her car.]
Jenny: I've, uh... (smiling) I've forgotten my wallet and my keys. So I'm just gonna go get them. Where's my head?
INT. - MARINA'S HOUSE - DAY
[Francesca is at a desk, on the phone.]
Francesca: (phone) And when does it start prepping? (listening) Mm-hmm. Good.
[Marina walks by.]
Francesca: (phone) (chuckling) So when do I have to go to Virginia?
[Marina stops nearby and rolls her eyes.]
Francesca: (phone) It's exciting! Allright! Allright. Thanks, Val.
[Francesca hangs up. Marina turns to face her.]
Marina: You're going to Virginia.
Francesca: As the personal (faces Marina) for Drew Barrymore. It's a huge fashion picture. And my budget's gonna be three times what it was on "Darkness."
[Francesca turns back around and takes a sip of her tea.]
Marina: That's wonderful. But I wish you had discussed it with me before making that decision.
[Francesca turns toward Marina again.]
Francesca: I don't know what there is to discuss. I got offered a job; I took it.
[Francesca gets up, walks past Marina and heads to the bed nearby. She picks up a wristwatch from the bedside table and puts it on.]
Marina: What about our summer holiday? I was organizing the house in Hydra.
Francesca: I never signed off on Hydra. We talked about it, but I didn't say "book a house." Did you book a house?
[Marina goes to get a piece of clothing out of the wardrobe nearby. Francesca frowns.]
Marina: I just want to spend time with you. You've been here six weeks out of an entire year. Don't you want to spend time together?
[Francesca leans over the edge of the bed toward Marina.]
Francesca: Come and be with me now.
[Marina closes the wardrobe hesitantly and clutches the piece of clothing in her hand.]
Francesca: C'mon.
[Francesca sits on the bed. Marina begins to walk toward her with her head down. She throws the clothing on the bed and sighs and sits next to her. Francesca leans over to her and puts a hand on her leg.]
Francesca: Now, the fact is, I can't afford not to do this job. Do you have any idea how much you owe?
[Marina runs a hand through her own hair and hangs her head.]
Francesca: Hm?
Marina: (frustrated) A lot.
Francesca: (chuckling) Sweetheart... I want you to have your beautiful dream.
[Francesca pulls Marina's hair away from her face.]
Francesca: Then I have to go to work, don't I. To take care of you.
[Francesca puts an arm around Marina and moves in close. Marina pulls back from the contact at first, then chuckles and shakes her head. Francesca tries to kiss her, but Marina turns her head.]
[They lay down. Francesca kisses Marina's neck and face, but Marina seems uncomfortable and turns away. Francesca continues on despite Marina's obvious discomfort.]
Francesca: (kissing Marina) And while I'm gone... you can resume your little thing with Jenny. I know you don't want to be here with me now. You want Jenny.
INT. - LATHER - DAY
[Shane is washing Dana's hair. Alice stands nearby, flipping through a magazine and talking about her new beau, Andrew. Dana curls her upper lip.]
Alice: And he's rough, you know? It's like... like... he f*cks me. Y'know? It's hot.
Shane: (disinterested) Yeah. That's... that's wicked hot.
Alice: It is. It really is. 'Cause, 'cause there's not that, you know, bullshit of like... you know, I do you, you do me, and, you know... we check in, have we had equal time? And all that crap.
Dana: You know, Al, just 'cause you're riding the big fat weenie doesn't mean there's something wrong with the way the rest of us do it, okay?
Shane: Hey, look, now that you're out big-time, let's give you a mullet.
Dana: What? No.
Shane: Yes, c'mon, hockey hair, it'll be hot.
Dana: No!
Alice: I don't think she's ready to be a bulldyke, Shane.
Dana: Thank you.
Shane: Mmkay.
Alice: The thing is, though, you guys, I... you know... I've only slept with him, what, like... five times? So, if I'm late -
Dana: You're late?
Alice: For my period? I'm sure you learned in 5th grade that that's part of your reproductive cycle?
Shane: Whoa, whoa. So, what are you saying, then?
Alice: I'm saying if I'm late, it wouldn't be Andrew's.
Shane: Well, would it be Lisa's?
Dana: Wow. Well, he'd be the first lesbo in history ever to pull that one off.
Shane: sh1t.
INT. - THE C.A.C. - FRANKLIN'S OFFICE - DAY
[A video of Fae Buckley and Bette from last week's episode flashes across a TV screen. Apparently, someone was hiding and filming their confrontation to be used as ammunition against the C.A.C.]
Fae: (tv) Oh, so, according to the C.A.C., the world that we live in is a godless one.
Bette: (tv) And art reflects that. It mirrors the world we live in.
Fae: (tv) Do you think the fact that you're homosexual makes you morally bankrupt?
Bette: (tv) I am a pervert. And only a pervert could show this work.
[The video has been heavily edited down to make Bette say things she didn't say at all.]
[We see that Bette, her boss Franklin and an attorney, Bert, are sitting on a couch in Franklin's office, watching the video. Franklin and Bert look at Bette.]
Bette: I di - I didn't know I was being taped. Anyway, that is not what I said. She twisted it.
Bert: (getting up) That's what they do. And you can be sure that this tape has been sent to every conservative Congressman along with this lovely document.
[Bert flips through a magazine showing some of the C.A.C.'s collections.]
Bert: (looking at magainze) A lifesized painting of the president in an SS uniform. Jesus sodomizing Mary. (flips pages) And this is a doozy: (holds up magazine) This is a live performance piece?
[The attorney holds up the magazine. It's a picture of a naked man hanging by his arms, flayed shot with several arrows.]
Bert: Are you sure this is art?
Bette: Absolutely.
Franklin: We put it to a vote, Bert. It's an important exhibition and the museum stands behind it.
Bert: Okay. (puts magainze down) (points at Bette) You are gonna have to learn how to deal with Fae Buckley.
Franklin: She was caught off guard, Bert. Could happen to anyone.
Bert: As your counsel I can tell you they will try and get at you on legal grounds. Now, the law's pretty much on your side right now, however, the political climate is not. There's two ways to go. One: They rant and rave while we look the other way. We do not engage.
Bette: (frustrated) That is what we've been doing. Sitting with our hands folded in our laps while they call us pornographers and pedophiles.
Bert: The other strategy is to meet them head-on. Duke it out.
Bette: I want to challenge Fae Buckley to a debate.
Bert: The woman's a gladiator in the public arena. She's brilliant. She pretty much always wins.
Bette: Let's do it.
INT. - LATHER - DAY
[Dana is now sitting in Shane's hairdressing chair. Shane is combing through Dana's hair. Alice sits nearby, feeling down, preoccupying herself with a bowl of goop that Shane's using to color Dana's hair.]
Alice: (worried) What am I gonna do if I'm f*cking pregnant?
Dana: Get an abortion, Al.
Shane: You could give the baby to Bette and Tina.
[Dana and Alice scrunch their noses at Shane.]
Shane: Well, we're already like a family, it'd be like the kid belongs to all of us.
Alice: So, instead of "Heather Has Two Mommies," Heather has six mommies.
Shane: No, Bette and Tina would be the moms, but we'd all be connected because of how it went down.
[Shane stops working on Dana's hair and looks at Dana in the mirror for a moment before she starts working again.]
Shane: Look, Dane, this is gonna be entirely natural, okay?
Dana: Okay. As long as it's not too, like, crazy or anything.
Shane: Allright. Or too cool, I hear you. (to Alice) But think about it, we'd be the kid's extended family.
Dana: That's a great idea, Shane.
Shane: Look, there's no bigger karmic lesson than doing something entirely selfless for another person. I'm serious.
Alice: How about a little support for me?
INT. - BETTE & TINA'S HOUSE - BACK PORCH - DAY
[An array of baby clothes and baby toys is laid out on the patio table. Tina is carefully folding up the clothes and putting them away into boxes. Kit is standing nearby.]
Kit: Tina, Bette would've hired somebody to do this for you.
Tina: I'm not gonna, uh... come to your, uh... show tonight. I'm sorry I can't.
Kit: Hey, it's okay.
Tina: I'm sure Bette will come.
[Tina comes upon her pregnancy diary that she was writing in every day. She looks at it.]
Kit: Tina, I wouldn't want you to do anything you're not up to doing. But... don't you think it'd be good for you to get out?
[Tina throws the book in a box with the other stuff. She grabs a stuffed animal Kit had picked up from the table and sticks it in the box.]
INT. - LATHER - DAY
[Shane is putting the finishing touches on Dana's hair. Dana grins at herself in the mirror. Her hair is shorter, a little bit lighter, and has blonde highlights.]
Dana: It's great. (to Alice) I look good, right?
Alice: You look hot.
[Shane straightens a couple of errant strands of hair on Dana's head.]
Shane: You look excellent. Look at this.
[Shane turns Dana around in the chair and gives her a mirror so she can see the back of her head.]
Alice: I mean, from the neck, up. I mean, we really gotta do something about your clothes. (to Shane) Gotta take her to Fred Segal.
Dana: I got these at Fred Segal.
[John approaches with the phone.]
John: Shane. Madame Cherie. Line 3.
[Dana fluffs up her hair in the mirror.]
John: (offscreen) She requires your attention, immediatement. (immediately)
EXT. - LATHER - DAY
[Cherie pulls up out front in a shiny little silver convertible and honks the horn. Shane comes out of the store a moment later.]
Shane: Hello.
[Shane hops into the car.]
Shane: Ah. Hi.
Cherie: (smiling) Hi.
[Cherie leans over and kisses Shane's neck.]
Shane: Where are you taking me?
Cherie: It's a secret.
Shane: Okay. Let's go!
[Cherie shifts the car into gear and they take off.]
INSTERSTITIAL - SCENES OF L.A.
[A busy street in a retail district; huge houses on immense lawns.]
EXT. - EMPTY STORE - DAY
[Cherie pulls up in front of an empty store space for lease on a dilapidated old warehouse block on a busy street.]
INT. - EMPTY STORE - DAY
[Cherie brings Shane inside the empty store space.]
Cherie: (chuckling) Well?
Shane: Well... I don't know why we're here.
[Cherie walks through the empty store, looking around. Shane follows.]
Cherie: Steve and Harry own most of this block. They're developing it. And I've convinced Steve to invest in you. So you can open your own shop.
[Shane grins and laughs as she looks around.]
Shane: (laughing) No - no way!
Cherie: Way! But you can't tell him that I brought you here, okay?
[Shane stands in utter amazement, glancing around wide-eyed like a kid in a candy store. She laughs.]
Cherie: Isn't it just oozing with potential?
[Cherie walks towards the back of the large room.]
Shane: It's beautiful. I mean it's un-fucking-believable... I mean I think I'd keep this like the old barbershop. No big reception desk or anything, just the cutting stations right here.
Cherie: And this could be the waiting area where they've sofas and tables. I see it: mid-century moderne.
[Shane walks toward her, envisioning.]
Cherie: Kind of kitschy but chic.
Shane: Hm. I'm thinking: pool table.
[Cherie walks into a back room. Shane looks up to a loft area.]
Shane: (pointing) And up here, it could be - it could be the coloring or the shampoo stations.
[Shane puts her hands on her hips and smiles as she glances around.]
Cherie: (offscreen) Shane?
Shane: Yeah?
[Shane, still looking around, heads toward the back room where Cherie went.]
Cherie: (offscreen) Look at this.
[Shane enters the back room and sees Cherie, stripped down to her high heels and stockings, perched on a barber's chair. Shane chuckles and takes off her jacket as she walks toward her.]
Shane: Ah, f*ck.
Cherie: Yes, please.
[Cherie throws a leg over Shane's shoulder as Shane leans down. They kiss passionately.]
EXT. - DAN FOXWORTHY'S OFFICE BUILDING - NIGHT
[Cars zoom by outside.]
INT. - DAN FOXWORTHY'S OFFICE - NIGHT
[Tina and Bette are meeting with their support group. Tina looks very sad and her voice trembles as she speaks.]
Tina: I know I was only, uh... 12 weeks. But I feel like I lost someone I was with my whole life. (a beat) (smiling) My baby boy. (a beat) Uh... just the last week we found out it was gonna be a boy.
Alma: You'll try again. I know it's hard to think about it right now. But you'll try again.
Matt: I know that Tina's devastated. Frankly, that's the way she should be feeling. She's grieving... what about you, Bette?
Karen: I see you steady and strong. Letting Tina lean on you. Has it sunk in for you, yet? Have you cried?
Bette: Believe me, it's sunk in.
Dan: But, uh... Karen asked you a specific question. Have you cried?
[Bette sighs and glances down at the floor. After a moment, she looks back up.]
Bette: I don't need to cry.
[Later...]
[Group is dismissing. Bette is on the phone with James, walking out of the office. Tina lags a few feet behind her.]
Bette: (phone) I wanna see some episodes of "Insight." Can you get me some tapes tomorrow morning?
[Oscar catches Tina.]
Oscar: Hey, Tina. Tina.
[Tina stops and turns to him.]
Oscar: Now is the time. You know? When something terrible happens and you feel yourself being sucked into that black pit of despair, it's time to get outside yourself and force yourself to do something for people who can't even tell you what despair is, 'cause that's all they've ever known.
[Oscar takes one of his business cards from his wallet and hands it to her.]
Oscar: I'll be there all day tomorrow.
[Oscar walks away. Tina looks at the card. Bette approaches.]
Bette: What did he want?
Tina: He wants me to volunteer.
Bette: Hm. Maybe you should check it out, maybe it'd be good for you.
Tina: (nods) Yeah.
[Bette walks ahead of Tina again. Tina follows at a distance.]
Bette: Do you think you're gonna be able to make it to Kit's show?
Tina: Babe, I really don't want to. I told Kit, she understands.
INTERSTITIAL - SCENES OF L.A.
[Busy streets at night, crowded with club-goers.]
INT. - NIGHT CLUB - NIGHT
[Bette is dressed up for Kit's show. She weaves through the densely-packed crowd.]
Bette: Excuse me. Excuse me, can I get -
[Bette turns around. It's Yolanda, from last episode's group therapy session. She and Yolanda stare at each other until they recognize each other. Yolanda looks a little embarassed and surprised. Bette chuckles.]
Bette: This is so funny. I had group today.
Yolanda: Oh, you missed my ass? You guys have a whole session talking about how you feel about me getting the hell out of there?
Bette: Well, we had quite a few other things to talk about, but I have to admit that it's not... as intense without you.
[Bette smiles. Yolanda sort of rolls her eyes, giving Bette the once-over.]
Bette: What. Don't tell me this is the last place you'd expect to see me?
Yolanda: I just never figured you to be a Kit Porter fan.
Bette: She's my sister.
[Yolanda's eyes bulge for a second until someone interrupts them. It's a woman, Candace, carrying a couple of drinks.]
Candace: Excuse me. Excuse me.
Yolanda: Hey, hey. (to Bette) Meet my ex. (to Candace) Bette Porter, this is, uh, Candace Jewell.
[Bette and Candace shake hands.]
Bette: Nice to meet you.
Candace: Nice to meet you.
[Candace seems to stare at Bette admiringly.]
Bette: Do you wanna sit with me at my table? It's just me and a couple of my sister's friends.
[Yolanda nods.]
Yolanda: Hey, uh, where's, uh, Tina? By the way.
Bette: She wasn't feeling well.
[Bette heads off in the direction of her table. Yolanda and Candace follow.]
INT. - NIGHT CLUB - SLIM DADDY'S TABLE - NIGHT
[Moments later, Bette, Yolanda and Candace arrive at Slim's table, which is actually a big couch. Slim is dressed to the nines in a pin-striped suit and a fedora. He stands when the ladies approach the table.]
Bette: Hey.
[Bette and Slim hug.]
Slim: Hey, baby sis.
Bette: (to Slim) This is Yolanda and Candace. (to Yolanda/Candace) This is Slim Daddy.
[Yolanda and Slim shake hands.]
Yolanda: Hi, nice to meet you.
[Candace and Slim shake hands just as the emcee takes the stage to announce Kit. Slim, Bette, Candace and Yolanda take a seat on the couch.]
Emcee: And now... put your hands together (scratches record on turntable) together - together - together... for... Kit Porter!
[The audience cheers wildly. Kit walks out on stage, smiling. She walks up to the microphone.]
Kit: (microphone) Whoo! This, this is so cool. It's overwhelming. I - I think I need a drink.
[Bette raises her brows.]
Kit: (microphone) (to Bette) I was just kidding, baby sister! (to audience) My baby sister is here tonight, and she has helped me go down that straight and narrow.
Various Audience: Yeah!
Kit: (microphone) In the house tonight is Slim Dad-dy!
[The audience cheers. Slim stands up.]
Slim: Thank you. Thank you. I don't know what I - what I wanna say, but.. there's no one like this woman. Kit Porter is a real m*therf*ckin' diva. Ya'll go on, give it up for Kit.
[Slim and the audience applaud Kit. Kit blushes. Slim sits back down, and the band begins to play. Everybody is watching Kit and the band, except for Slim, who's watching Bette and Candace.]
Slim: (to Bette, re: Candace) I respect that she's your woman.
Bette: She's not. You met my woman.
Slim: Oh, right, right. Well, I still think the two of you would, uh... you know? Yeah. Lord have mercy on me.
[Bette leans back on the couch and goes back to watching Kit's performance.]
Slim: (smiling) Sing that song, Kit.
[Bette's eyes drift to Candace, who is sitting on the edge of the couch, just in front of her. But Bette catches herself looking, and looks away.]
[Kit sings.]
Kit: (singing) Hold on... to our love. We can... rise above all the things that people seem to think they want. They're just words we shouldn't listen anymore.
[Bette smiles as she watches Kit. Slim glances over at Bette, checking her out.]
Kit: (singing) Here in the dark, nothing else matters at all... here in the dark... all I want to do is think of you and I... I know that I will never say... goodbye.
[Later...]
[Candace and Bette sit at the bar next to each other. Yolanda stands next to Candace, quietly sipping her drink.]
Candace: I pass by the California Arts Center every morning. I'm doing a job, right near there.
Bette: What kind of job?
Candace: My partner and I are doing the finish carpentry on a loft in Venice we've been remodeling.
Bette: (smiling) You're a carpenter?
[Candace smiles. Kit approaches with Slim Daddy and Smoothie Guy from last ep.]
Kit: Heyyyy.
Slim: You sure you don't wanna run out with us tonight, baby sis? We got everything for everyone who needs anything.
Bette: (chuckling) Yeah, I'm sure. I've gotta get home.
Slim: Well, I guess I'll dream about the (pointing to Candace and Bette) two of you.
[Kit rolls her eyes.]
Slim: 'Cause I got that basic instinct about you.
Kit: Don't you get my sister into any trouble.
[Bette glances over at Candace for just a moment and looks away just before Candace glances at her.]
Bette: (to Kit) I can handle it.
[Bette gets up and hugs Kit.]
Kit: Oh, thank you. Goodnight.
Bette: I'm so proud of you.
[Kit leaves. Bette walks over to Yolanda and Candace.]
Bette: (to Yolanda) I should... really get home. It was nice running into you.
Yolanda: Yeah.
[Bette and Yolanda shake hands.]
Bette: (to Candace) Nice to meet you.
[Bette and Candace shake hands.]
Bette: You should come by and check out the museum one day on your lunch break.
Candace: (nodding) Yeah...
Bette: (smiling) 'K.
[Bette smiles at them then leaves.]
EXT. - THE PLANET - DAY
[A few people sit outside, enjoying the sun.]
INT. - THE PLANET - DAY
[Francesca, Shane and Alice sit at a table. They're all watching Marina, who's up at the counter trying to help the workers serve the customers.]
Francesca: This is ridiculous.
Shane: No, I'll get it.
Francesca: The food staffers are so slow. They're useless.
[Marina quickly brings a tray over and gives the group the drinks they ordered.]
Francesca: You shouldn't be doing that.
Shane: (to Marina) Thank you.
Francesca: It's their job.
Marina: Well, they're busy and I'm helping them.
Francesca: You're coddling them.
[Marina sets a basket of breads down.]
Francesca: (calling out) We didn't order - did one of you order that?
Marina: It's a gift from me. I want to be in Paris this morning.
Francesca: And I wanna be in profits some day. (to Shane/Alice) It's my treat. Enjoy. (to Marina) Put it on the books.
[Dana walks in with her new hair and new clothes.]
Alice: Kate Moss, eat your heart out!
[Dana rolls her eyes, grinning.]
Alice: Look at you!
Shane: (whistles) Yeah!
Alice: If I didn't know it was you, I'd have thought someone hot just walked in!
Dana: (smiling) (sitting down) Shut up! I feel stupid!
Shane: You look so sexy, Dana.
Dana: (grinning) Really, you like the 'do?
Alice: You look great!
[Alice is about to sip on her coffee. Shane looks at her.]
Shane: What're you doing?
Alice: Me?
Shane: Yep.
Alice: I'm drinking coffee.
Dana: Oh, you can't do that. Bette and Tina would kill you. Right Shane?
Francesca: Bette and Tina would kill her because she's...
[Alice waves her hand, trying to dismiss Dana's comment.]
Dana: (to Alice) Uh... oh, f*ck. I'm sorry. (to Francesca) Alice might be pregnant.
Alice: "Might" being the word I'm clinging on to.
Shane: And we just thought... we thought it was karmically destined because Bette and Tina wanted a baby so badly.
Francesca: (to Alice) You mean, you would have a baby -
Dana: And Bette and Tina would adopt it. Right, Shane?
Shane: Well, yeah, but...
[Francesca furrows up her brow at Alice.]
Shane: Ey, ey. Look, you can't say anything because they don't know and...
Alice: Yeah. And you might be misreading the karma or something.
Dana: Oh, the karma.
Alice: Yeah.
Dana: Right.
Francesca: (to Alice) Do you know what an extraordinary gift that would be?
Alice: Yeah. They're making super-sure I know that.
Francesca: Not just to Bette and Tina, but to all of us.
[Marina comes back to the table with her own cup of coffee and sits, smiling at Francesca as she speaks.]
Francesca: The whole DNA model of family is being reinvented. We're making a new world that reflects the way we love and make relationships and -
Marina: I'd like to see that reflected somewhere.
[Francesca gives Marina a blank look.]
Francesca: What?
[Marina looks down. Francesca seems to be irritated. Shane suddenly looks at her cell phone. Time to go. She pulls out a few dollars from her pocket.]
Shane: Um... I'm gonna take care of this today.
Francesca: Oh, it's mine!
Shane: Hey, no, no, no. I have a tab to pay, I'm paying it. (to group) Um... I'm gonna go check out this raw space with Steve Jaffe. He's...
Francesca: Yeah?
Shane: Yeah, he's talking about opening up my own salon.
Francesca: No way!
Dana: You gonna call it "Shane," Shane?
Shane: (chuckling) Yeah, I'm gonna go. You look great.
Francesca: Bye.
Shane: Hey. Thank you. Take care.
Alice: See ya.
Shane: Bye.
[Shane leaves. Francesca looks over at the counter, then at Marina.]
Francesca: Hey, there's a line at the counter.
[Marina looks as if she wants to say something, but instead she looks down.]
Francesca: Marina? There's a line.
[Marina looks away from Francesca. Alice and Dana look uncomfortable.]
Francesca: There seems to be a communication breakdown.
[Alice looks up. Shane is almost out the door.]
Alice: Shane?
Shane: (stops) Yah?
Alice: Hold up. (to group) Uh... I'll see you guys later. I gotta go.
[Alice grabs her keys and cell phone.]
Alice: (to Francesca) And thank you for all the croissants and coffee and I couldn't drink.
[Francesca smiles at Alice as she gets up, then she looks at Dana.]
Francesca: Aren't you late for something?
[Alice pats Dana on the head as she passes by.]
Dana: (to Francesca) Yes. (to Alice/Shane) Uh, wait for me! (to Francesca) Thank you. Thank you.
[Dana gets up and heads for the door.]
Marina: (smiling) Bye. You look great.
Dana: (smiling) Thanks.
Marina: You look really good.
[Once Dana's gone, Francesca narrows her eyes on Marina.]
Francesca: Is there something you want to say?
Marina: No.
[Marina keeps her eyes down.]
Francesca: You pick a fight with me in front of these people? And then you make like you're... you're hurt? You're victimized? Do you want someone to come to your rescue?
Marina: (looks up) Maybe.
Francesca: Who, Marina?
[Marina looks down again.]
Francesca: I already rescued you. Remember?
EXT. - THE JAFFE HOUSE - DAY
[Shane stands at the front door. Steve Jaffe comes out.]
Steve: Hey.
Shane: Hey.
Steve: C'mon, we'll take the Jag.
[They head to his Jaguar.]
Steve: Hope you don't mind, we're gonna drop my daughter on 3rd Street. So she can kill a couple hundred of my hard-earned bucks on an outfit that looks like it came from the Salvation Army reject bin.
Shane: (chuckling) Oh.
[Steve and Shane get in the Jaguar.]
Shane: That's fine.
Steve: I was hoping you might hang out with Clea for a while. Just something.
Shane: Well...
Steve: Well, you know what, Shane...
[Clea, Steve's daughter, comes out of the house and shuffles toward the Jaguar.]
Steve: She quit college after six months. She's flailing. I thought maybe you could spend a little time with her today. She might open up to you. Just an instinct I have.
Shane: I don't know, Steve, it's -
Steve: I would consider it a favor.
[Steve starts the car. Shane can't refuse his request.]
Shane: Oh - yeah, absolutely.
INT. - HEADQUARTERS FOR SOCIAL JUSTICE - FRONT OFFICE - DAY
[The Headquarters for Social Justice is a busy office filled with lots of people.]
[Oscar, Tina's friend from group, is on the phone, typing something at a computer.]
Oscar: (phone) Yes, no, I've checked that. I'm checking it twice, right now, actually.
[Tina walks in the front door. She waits.]
Oscar: (phone) You told him that we're a non-profit organization? That it's a tax write-off?
[Someone hands Oscar some papers.]
Oscar: (phone) Well, then you should let him know that we...
[Oscar sees Tina. He waves her over.]
Oscar: (phone) We're waiting for him.
[Tina smiles and approaches. Oscar holds up his finger to tell her he'll be just a minute.]
[SCENE_BREAK]
INT. - HEADQUARTERS FOR SOCIAL JUSTICE - REAR OFFICE - DAY
[Oscar is showing Tina around. People are sitting at desks, phones are ringing but it's still a very grassroots atmosphere.]
Oscar: We got a grant to hire a law firm. So now, more than 50,000 L.A. garment industry workers have health benefits for the first time, ever. That was our biggest project. Mostly, we - we deal with very human-scale stuff. Y'know.
[Oscar sets some papers down on a desk.]
Oscar: I forgot to tell you. Um... we also have a Gay and Lesbian Alliance. I don't know if that's something you'd be interested in.
Tina: Um, I think I'd like to do something, um... uh, with kids. Uh, underprivileged or abused children.
Oscar: Okay.
[Oscar catches the attention of a guy named Esai, who's sitting at a desk a couple of feet away.]
Oscar: Oye. (Hey.) Esai.
[Esai turns around. He and Oscar shake hands.]
Oscar: Como esta? (What's up?)
Esai: Como esta? Bien. (What's up? Good.) Yeah.
Oscar: (to Tina) Esai, here, is working with these guys to bring down Clay Patterson. He's the televangelist whose refinery is giving Cancer to hundreds of kids in the south L.A. 'hood.
Esai: He's a b*st*rd. He gets around every court injunction.
Oscar: Some Christian, huh?
Tina: Have you ever come across a woman named Fae Buckley?
EXT. - THE C.A.C. - DAY
Franklin: (offscreen) Ben Coughlin just resigned from our board.
Bette: (offscreen) You're kidding.
Franklin: (offscreen) Mm-mm.
INT. - THE C.A.C. - BOARD ROOM - DAY
[Franklin, in a t-shirt, takes a seat at the head of the table. Bert sits next to him. Bette and James sit further down the table on opposite sides, facing each other.]
Franklin: Yesterday in the mail, he got 62 individual letters with his company credit card chopped in pieces from people who don't want to buy office supplies from a blaspheming pornographer.
[Bette stares at the desk. She looks worried.]
Bette: (to James) Shall we get back to work?
James: Organs of dead animals decomposing? A man strangling himself while m*st*rb*t*ng? You call that art, Miss Porter?
Bette: Those are inflammatory descriptions, Miss Buckley, of but a few works of art in a much larger exhibition.
James: But she didn't answer the question: What makes that art?
[Bette's phone buzzes. She quickly grabs it.]
Bette: Excuse me. I'm sorry, I have to take it. It's Tina, she's... been having a rough time. (answers phone) Baby, are you allright?
INT. - HEADQUARTERS FOR SOCIAL JUSTICE - DAY
Tina: (phone) I'm with Oscar. Oscar Alvarez.
INT. - C.A.C. - BOARD ROOM - DAY
Bette: (phone) Look, I'm right in the middle of -
Tina: (phone) You're not gonna believe...
[Bette looks impatient.]
INT. - HEADQUARTERS FOR SOCIAL JUSTICE - BACK OFFICE - DAY
Tina: (phone) ... what he does here. You have to come by.
INTERSTITIAL - SCENES OF L.A.
[Busy commercial districts, residential streets, weathered murals painted on concrete walls.]
INT. - HEADQUARTERS FOR SOCIAL JUSTICE - FRONT OFFICE - DAY
[Bette enters and raises her brows at Tina, wondering why she's been called there. Tina sprints over to her.]
Tina: Hey. You're not gonna believe what we found on Fae Buckley.
Bette: Is that what you've been doing, Fae Buckley research?
[Tina starts to head toward the back. Bette walks with her.]
Tina: Yeah.
[Bette looks miffed.]
Tina: Did you know she was one of the main people responsible for getting that teacher fired at the University of Missouri?
Bette: Yeah, they trumped up child p0rn charges based on a picture of a 3-year-old playing naked on a beach. I've been doing this all day, Tina.
[Tina sighs.]
Bette: I mean, I've got a highly-paid P.R. firm working with me. My people aren't slouches.
[Oscar approaches.]
Tina: Look, this is what Oscar does.
[Bette sighs.]
Tina: Okay? Just listen.
[Tina walks off. Oscar approaches Bette.]
Oscar: Is there a problem?
Bette: I thought this was supposed to be about Tina finding something of her own?
Oscar: I thought this was supposed to be about helping Tina get out of a bad depression.
[Esai approaches. He brings Oscar a video tape.]
Esai: Gotta look at this.
[Esai walks off. Oscar looks at the video tape box, then holds it up for Bette to see.]
Oscar: I think you and your people might find this pretty interesting.
EXT. - THE JAFFE HOUSE - DAY
[Shane pulls up and parks her truck in the circular drive.]
Steve: Hey. Clea will be right out. Now, I want you to know, I will not forget this. Now, Cherie is planning this big mother-daughter trip to Paris. And you should hear her making all these arrangements. Sounds Like she's planning the Camp David Summit.
[Clea comes out and heads toward Shane's truck.]
Steve: Now Clea doesn't want to go. See if you can't change her mind.
[Steve steps around to the other side of the truck and helps Clea in. Clea gets in and looks at Shane.]
Steve: Have a good time, sweetheart.
[Clea looks completely disinterested and unhappy. Shane sighs and starts the truck.]
Shane: Look - (sighs) I know this is lame. But your father asked me to do this, okay?
EXT. - MINI GOLF RANGE - DAY
[Clea and Shane are playing mini-golf. A couple of families of parents and kids are playing nearby.]
[It's Clea's shot. Shane stands a couple of feet behind her, watching. Clea putts the ball but it misses the cup.]
Clea: Crap.
Shane: Allright.
Clea: Allright.
Shane: Allright, allright, allright. This should be pretty easy.
[Shane and Clea walk ahead a few feet, to Shane's ball. Shane takes putting stance.]
Clea: Mm-hmm.
[Shane putts the ball. It misses the cup.]
Shane: Oh, sh1t! f*ck me!
[One of the families playing golf nearby looks up at her.]
Shane: (to family) Sorry.
Clea: (laughing) Nice work.
Shane: Can I go one more?
Clea: Yeah.
[Shane lines up another shot.]
Clea: Man, I haven't played this game since I was, like... seven years old.
Shane: No?
Clea: No.
[Shane putts. The ball goes in.]
Shane: I never did this as a kid.
Clea: What, your parents never took you?
Shane: No, they weren't around. I met my mom once.
Clea: Wow, you didn't live with her?
Shane: No.
Clea: Wow.
Shane: Can I, uh, can I... can I show you something? Do you mind?
Clea: Sure.
Shane: May I show you something?
Clea: Sure.
[Shane steps up behind Clea, putting her body against her.]
Shane: Um... before you hit the ball?
Clea: Yeah.
Shane: If you try bouncing a few times?
Clea: Bounce?
Shane: Yeah. Well...
Clea: Okay.
Shane: You want to try it?
Clea: Sure.
Shane: Okay. Ready?
Clea: Yeah.
[Shane puts her hands on Clea's hips and counts off, bouncing lightly with her.]
Shane: One, two, three...
[Clea putts the ball. It misses the cup.]
Clea: Oh well. Just about.
Shane: Nice - nice, though.
Clea: Yeah, It was a great technique, though. It was almost there.
Shane: (smiling) Smartass.
Clea: Yeah, well...
Shane: (smiling) Shut up.
[They laugh.]
INT. - HEADQUARTERS FOR SOCIAL JUSTICE - PRIVATE OFFICE - DAY
[Tina, Bette and Oscar are gathered around a TV set. On the TV plays the video that Esai gave Oscar earlier. The scene begins to become familiar: it's the movie that was being filmed in the opening of this episode.]
Bette: (looking at video box) "Here Cums the Principal"? C-U-M-S. What is this?
Oscar: Okay hang on, hang on a minute.
[Oscar fast forwards through a lot of the bathroom s*x scenes. Bette looks away from the screen.]
Bette: J - Just, Jesus, just turn it off. I mean, really, what are you going to tell me? That Fae Buckley produces porno videos?
Oscar: No, no, no. (pauses video) There, see that girl right there?
[The camera focuses on the TV screen. The image is of one of the girls in the video, looking directly at the camera.]
Oscar: She's 17. She ran away from home when she was 14. Apparently her father was abusing the hell out of her, and her mother couldn't or wouldn't stop him. Child services report we pulled has all the gory details. But her p0rn star name is China. Her given name is Cora Buckley.
[Bette looks up at Oscar.]
EXT. - GOLF RANGE - DAY
[Clea and Shane are laying next to each other against a tree, talking.]
Clea: I know that they know I'm gay, I just really don't want to talk about it with them. Oh, they're such pervs.
Shane: Well, why are they pervs?
Clea: Well, they have this cabinet that they normally keep locked in the media room. Anyway, one night they got drunk, and left some stuff out, and Consuela was cleaning the next day and just happened to push play on the VCR, and up pops my mom... buck naked, okay, riding my dad... whipping him with a switch. (chuckles) It was pretty gross.
[Shane chuckles at Clea, then turns a little and faces her.]
Shane: You know, but you gotta... you gotta give it to your folks, I mean... they want to keep their life interesting. And they... they still want to get it on.
Clea: God. You know.
[Clea moves closer to Shane, facing her, until their faces are just inches apart.]
Clea: (smiling) I've never met anyone like you before.
Shane: Well that's - that's not necessarily a very good thing.
Clea: Tell me more about your parents. Like, how come you didn't live with them?
[Clea slowly leans forward to kiss Shane. Shane backs away.]
Shane: No - No. No I...
[Shane sits up.]
Shane: No I can't do that. It's not right.
Clea: Why?
Shane: Because it's not what your dad had in mind when he asked me to hang out with you
Clea: God, I don't care!
[Shane suddenly seems very nervous.]
Shane: I'm - I'm involved with a few things that I... I just, I don't wanna...
Clea: Oh, like drugs? What?
[Clea rubs Shane's shoulder.]
Shane: (quietly) Yeah, that's part of it.
[Clea rests her head on Shane's shoulder.]
INT. - HEADQUARTERS FOR SOCIAL JUSTICE - PRIVATE OFFICE - DAY
Bette: What if it's not true?
Oscar: We got ahold of the police records. And the missing persons report. We have evidence of Fae paying off a district court judge to expunge the record.
Bette: Then why has it never come out?
Oscar: Because our people don't know how to play this game. We're progressives and we're accused of being morally bankrupt. They have so many f*cking skeletons in their closets and we don't touch them. We take the high road, we wind up in the ditch. We leave our dirty laundry hanging out all over the place cause we're not so ashamed of it; they grab it and wave it around. They make us look like perverts! We have to get into their closets. We cannot afford to keep on being so high-minded. Because we're getting killed.
EXT. - THE PALMS - NIGHT
[The neon-lit sign for the club reads: "The Palms West Hollywood"]
INT. - THE PALMS - NIGHT
[The oldest lesbian bar in L.A. Several couples, mainly butch and femme, dance slowly to the music. A few women play pool in the back.]
[Dana is having a beer at a table by herself when Jenny approaches.]
Jenny: Hey.
Dana: (waving) Hi.
Jenny: Dana, right? (pointing to herself) Jenny. Are you alone?
Dana: Yeah.
Jenny: Can I sit with you?
Dana: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on. Here, sit.
[Jenny sits in the chair opposite Dana.]
Jenny: I've never done this before.
Dana: You've never been to a bar before?
Jenny: No, a women's bar, by myself.
Dana: Oh. Me neither.
Jenny: Oh, yeah?
Dana: Yeah. Well, Alice was supposed to come with me, but her boyfriend called, so...
Jenny: Alice is bisexual?
Dana: Yeah.
[Jenny giggles, then looks around at the bar.]
Jenny: This is like something out of the 1950s. It's so butch and femme.
Dana: Mm-hmm, yeah. Well, it's the oldest lesbian bar in LA. Actually, it probably hasn't changed since the 1950s.
[Dana pauses. Jenny just stares at her.]
Dana: But really, it's no different than any other club, you know, I mean... you have a few drinks... and you talk to a few people you have nothing in common with, and... realize how unlikely it is you'll ever meet anyone who's right for you again.
[Dana takes a swig of her beer.]
Jenny: So you have met someone that's right for you?
Dana: We broke up.
EXT. - THE GARAGE - NIGHT
[Jenny and Dana enter Jenny's studio behind Tim's house. The place is totally junked out. There is clothes and trash everywhere.]
Jenny: It's messy. I know that.
Dana: Oh, no, no, it's no problem.
Jenny: Yeah.
[Jenny sets her purse and keys down.]
Dana: It's fine.
Jenny: It's small. There aren't, uh... too many places to sit.
[Jenny heads over to the bed, because it's the only seating available. Dana follows. They sit next to each other. Jenny flips on a small bedside lamp. Dana accidentally sits on Jenny's hand.]
Dana: Oh, sorry.
[Dana takes off her jacket.]
Jenny: So... you're a tennis player?
Dana: Mm-hmm.
Jenny: What's that like?
Dana: (a beat) I tr - I train a lot.
Jenny: Wow. That's really interesting.
Dana: I go on tour.
Jenny: Oh, wow.
Dana: Yeah.
Jenny: Yeah.
[A few moments of awkward silence.]
Jenny: I don't have anything to drink. Do you want juice?
Dana: Sure.
Jenny: Okay.
[Jenny gets up and goes to the mini-fridge to get some juice. Dana straightens out her shirt.]
Dana: So, this is where you write?
[Jenny prepares the juice. Dana leans back, trying to get comfortable.]
Jenny: Yeah, yeah. I, uh... (clears throat) I pretty much, uh... do everything here. As you can see. It used to be my, uh... writing studio...
[Dana can't get comfortable. She leans back in a different way.]
Jenny: Um... but, you know, that thing with Tim and I...
Dana: Oh, oh, right, yeah, yeah, yeah. Mm-hmm.
Jenny: So, he's letting me stay here so far.
[Jenny brings over two glasses of juice with straws and hands one to Dana.]
Jenny: And I pay him rent. Which is kind of weird. Y'know. Hm.
[Dana and Jenny noisily sip their juice through their straws and stare at each other. Dana finishes hers and holds the cup with both hands, staring at Jenny. Jenny noisily finishes her drink, sets her cup down then immediately whips off her shirt in one fluid movement nearly invisible to the naked eye.]
[Dana looks a little confounded, and isn't sure where to put her cup, so she sets it on the bed behind them.]
[Dana turns to Jenny and clears her throat. She leans in and they start to kiss. Jenny leans back, knocking Dana's cup over.]
Jenny: Oh, gosh.
Dana: Oh, shh... I'm so sorry.
Jenny: Oh, no. no.
Dana: Oh, God. Just give them to me. I'll get them dry-cleaned.
Jenny: Oh, gosh. No.
Plan: A: Tina's grief; Q: What is eased by an unexpected opportunity? A: her sudden miscarriage; Q: What is Tina's grief from? A: an unexpected opportunity; Q: What arrives to ease Tina's grief? A: a social insurance office; Q: Where does Tina volunteer? A: Fae Buckley; Q: Who is the fanatical leader of a religious group? A: guest star Helen Shaver; Q: Who played Fae Buckley? A: Bette's art gallery; Q: What is Fae Buckley trying to shut down? A: Shane; Q: Who does Cherie's husband want to help open a hair salon? A: time; Q: What does Steve ask Shane to spend with his daughter? A: Clea; Q: Who makes a pass at Shane? A: Francesca; Q: Who wants to leave town again? A: an argument; Q: What do Marina and Francesca have? A: Italy; Q: Where does Francesca want to go? A: Jenny; Q: Who tries to help Tim? A: Trish; Q: Who does Tim start dating? A: Dana; Q: Who gets a new hairstyle and attempts to have a fling with Jenny? A: Alice; Q: Who is worried she might be pregnant? A: a club party; Q: What is the occasion for Kit's return to the stage? A: Slim Daddy; Q: Who does Kit perform with? Summary: Tina's grief from her sudden miscarriage is eased when an unexpected opportunity arrives; a member of her and Bette's therapy group asks her to volunteer at a social insurance office. There, she and her colleagues find some dirt on Fae Buckley (guest star Helen Shaver ), the fanatical leader of a religious group that's hell-bent on shutting down Bette's art gallery. Meanwhile, Shane's relationship with Cherie becomes complicated when Cherie's unsuspecting husband, Steve, wants to help Shane open up her own hair salon and asks her to spend time with his emotionally distant daughter, Clea, who also makes a pass at Shane. Marina and Francesca have an argument over Francesca wanting to leave town again for a job back in Italy. Jenny tries to help the distraught Tim, who begins to date Trish, one of his swim team students. Dana gets a new hairstyle and attempts to have a fling with Jenny. Alice worries that she might be pregnant after her trysts with Lisa and Andrew. Also, Kit makes her return to the stage during a club party with Slim Daddy.