SCENE 1: The Stackhouse front door. Strange music plays. The camera pulls out to reveal Bill's BMW pulling up to the door, and the strange music is coming from Bill's car stereo. Bill and Sookie are inside the car, returning from Fangtasia. Bill turns off the car's headlights and engine. They remain in the car.
Bill: We've had a difficult relationship with law enforcement for many years. The man provoked me. I coulda done much worse.
Sookie: I'm sure you could have. And if I wasn't there watchin', you prob'ly would have killed that man.
Bill: Hardly.
Sookie: Would you have bit him?
(Bill stares at Sookie.)
Sookie: You see? That's just crazy! You would have fed on him and tossed him aside like an old chicken bone! And don't tell me "that's what vampires do"!
(Sookie starts to get out of the car. By the time she finds the door handle, Bill is already outside the car, opening the car door for her.)
Bill: I'm doin' my best to mainstream...
(Sookie gets out of Bill's car.)
Sookie: Suckin' the blood from a police officer is not mainstreaming.
(Bill closes the car door.)
Sookie: Neither is hosting orgies or listening to crazy Chinese gargling.
Bill: It's Tuvan throat singin'.
Sookie: Whatever. Tuvan? I don't even know where that is!
(Sookie turns and starts to walk away.)
Bill: Sookie? You cannot be frightened of everythin' you don't know in this world.
Sookie: Well my world's openin' up mighty fast! And what I got here may be boring, but it's safe! And after the past couple of nights, safe sounds good about now.
(Bill starts to walk to the door with Sookie.)
Sookie: No...thank you. I can get this door myself.
(Sookie walks up the stairs of the porch.)
Bill: I won't call on you again.
(Sookie fishes the house key from her purse and opens the screen door as Bill turns and walks to his car. A dog is in the bushes nearby.)
Cut to opening credits to the tune of "Bad Things" by Jace Everett
SCENE 2: Lafayette's apartment. Someone is knocking impatiently on a door. Lafayette, dressed in a gold robe and a black babushka, turns on the lights, grabs an aluminum baseball bat, peers through the mini-blinds covering the window of his front door, and unlocks and opens the door. Tara storms inside.
Lafayette (whispered): Aw, gee...
(Tara picks up three items from Lafayette's mantle and throws them at him.)
Tara: Stupid! <snip>! Bitch!
(Lafayette swings the bat at the last item, a Troll doll with bright green hair, and hits it with the bat.)
Lafayette: Bring it on, hooka! I was All-Parish in high school.
Tara: Boy, I knew there was some stupid genes in our family, but you musta gotten 'em all! When did you start dealin' V?
Lafayette: You want some? You can use it.
Tara: Oh, you makin' jokes about it? You gonna get your ass killed, you dumb <snip>!
(Lafayette puts down the baseball bat.)
Lafayette: Is this because I'm sellin' V, or 'cause I sold it to your sweet Jason Stackhouse?
(Lafayette sits down in a chair.)
Tara: Givin' vampire blood to Jason Stackhouse is like givin' Ho-Ho's to a diabetic! You know he can't control himself!
Lafayette: I was very clear on how to use it. It ain't my fault he ain't listen.
Tara: I had to take him to the E.R.! They drained his pen1s with a needle the size of an ice pick! Twice! It was the most disturbing <snip> I've ever seen in my entire life. And I've seen some pretty disturbin' <snip>!
Lafayette: OK.
Tara: He suffered Lafayette...
Lafayette: OK.
Tara: ...bad!
Lafayette: OK, OK! I'm sorry. I...I go and check in on him in the mornin'. And I know he mean a lot to you and everything, but how is comin' up in my joint at three A.M., throwin' my <snip> around gonna make anything better?
(Tara picks up two red objects from the mantle and throws them at Lafayette. One of them breaks.)
Tara: It makes me feel better!
Lafayette: Oh! Hooker...!
(Lafayette lights a cigarette.)
SCENE 3: The next morning, at the Stackhouse home. Gran is frying eggs and listening to an irate female caller on a cordless telephone.
Irate Female Caller (off-camera): Shame on you, Adele Stackhouse! Shame on you!
Gran: Who is this?
Irate Female Caller (off-camera): A vam-purr is a perversion of humanity. And you, vamp-urr lover, are pollutin' our community by bringin' one into the open!
Gran: I suggest that you hear what he has to say before you take to lynchin' him.
Irate Female Caller (off-camera): Well, I don't care what sort of wretches you keep in your own home, but when you bring freaks and abominations into our churches...
(Sookie enters the kitchen, dressed in a short purple nightshirt, with her hair in a ponytail.)
Irate Female Caller (off-camera): ...in front of our children, you will have...
Gran (looking at Sookie): Well...I will be at the church early...
(Sookie sits down at the breakfast table. In front of her are a plate with a sausage patty, and a carafe of orange juice.)
Gran: ...if you would like to like to stop by and say hi. Mr. Compton's talk starts at eight.
Irate Female Caller (off-camera): You will go to hell for this!
Gran: All right! Same to you! Bye now!
(Gran hangs up the phone.)
Sookie: Phone's been ringin' early today.
Gran: Oh. Oh!
(Sookie sips some orange juice as Gran takes the pan of eggs to the table.)
Gran: Everyone is excited about meetin' the town vampire tonight.
(She smiles at Sookie as she serves the eggs.)
Gran: I didn't hear ya come in last night.
Sookie: You went to bed early. You didn't wanna hear me come in.
Gran: Well...
(Gran chuckles and returns to the stove.)
Gran: I just thought I'd give you two a little privacy, is all.
Sookie: Am I really that much of a lost cause that you gotta pin all your hopes for me on a vampire?
(Gran returns to the table with the phone in her hand and sits down.)
Gran: But he really seems like a very nice man.
Sookie: Well, he's not.
Gran: He's not nice?
Sookie: Or a man.
Gran: Oh, goodness! Did you two have a fight?
Sookie: No. Kinda. I don't think Bill and I have very much in common. He doesn't think like we do, he doesn't the way we do, if he...feels at all.
(Sookie pierces a piece of sausage and eats it.)
Gran: Well, I know that, if I had a chance to know somebody who'd experienced the world differently, I'd see it as a blessing and not somethin' to be scared of. Or hate.
(Gran is holding the phone up to her chest. It rings.)
Sookie (shaking her head): I don't hate him. I just don't want to be his girlfriend.
(The phone continues ringing.)
Sookie: Uh...the phone's ringin'.
Gran: Umm...machine'll pick it up.
(Gran smiles broadly at Sookie.)
SCENE 4: Jason's kitchen. The pointed end of a meat thermometer is being speared into the large end of a carrot as Lafayette watches. The thermometer is shoved all the way in to the carrot.
Lafayette: Damn!
(Lafayette, wearing a black tank top and gold turban, is seated at Jason's breakfast bar. Jason is standing.)
Jason: Yeah. Just like that. And no an-er-stay-sher, either! First, I get hauled in by the cops. Then...
(Jason holds up the impaled carrot.)
Jason: ...I gotta let a dude drain my <snip>. That's the <snip> of the day!
Lafayette: Sounds like it.
(Lafayette pours himself a cup of coffee.)
Lafayette: Jason, you ain't tell nobody where you get the V at, did you?
Jason: Do I look stupid?
(Lafayette cocks his head as he sips the coffee.)
Jason: I didn't even let on I was takin' anythin'. You're my dog.
Lafayette: Well, I love you right back.
Jason: But listen: You gotta stop sellin' V, man! That <snip> people up. I mean, <snip>, now Sheriff Dearborne thinks I'm some kind of s*x maniac...
(Jason goes to the refrigerator and opens it.)
Jason: ... and hell if I know if I'll ever, ever be able to look Tara in the face again.
(Jason bends over, looks for something in the refrigerator.)
Lafayette: Well, she'll get over it. The girl's been lost in love wit'choo...
(Lafayette sniffs a pint-sized carton of coffee creamer, and pours some into his coffee.)
Lafayette: ...since she was 8.
(Jason looks up from the refrigerator in disbelief.)
Jason: No <snip>?
Lafayette: No <snip>.
Jason: Oh, man. That's even worse! I had no idea!
(Jason shuts the refrigerator door.)
Jason: My life sucks so much ass. And it's all because of your <snip> V.
Lafayette: Listen, don't blame the Ferrari just 'cause your ass can't drive. You're gonna have to learn how to ride the high, boyfriend.
Jason: <snip> that, I am done with V. Go <snip> some other people up with that <snip>. You broke me.
Lafayette: No, man. If you can learn to control it, V will open up your mind to everything you missin' around you. That's what's gonna snap you out of all this <snip>.
(Jason walks up to the table, his arms folded.)
Jason: More V?
Lafayette: If done right. I got some in my car...
(Lafayette sips his coffee.)
Lafayette: ...if you want me to show you.
(Jason stares at Lafayette, then looks down at the floor. Then, in Jason's living room, on top of a round glass-top table, we see four small squares that look as if they were cut from a paper towel. The room is fairly dark, save for some sunlight coming in through a window. Lafayette places a cigarette case and a green and white plastic 6-pack cooler on the table. Lafayette is kneeling on the opposite side of the table from Jason.)
Lafayette: Now, I ain't showin' you no whole vial till you learn how to use this <snip> right. You get me?
(Jason is sitting on the sofa, cuddling a throw pillow, staring at Lafayette. He gestures acknowledgment with his left hand, still staring at Lafayette. Lafayette raises himself, still kneeling on the floor.)
Lafayette: This...
(Lafayette holds up a vial of red liquid.)
Lafayette: ...is the life force of a vampire. They're just blood in a skin casing.
(Lafayette puts the cooler on the floor.)
Lafayette: Ain't a whole lot different between a vampire and a boudin sausage except...
(Lafayette sticks an eyedropper into the vial and extracts some of the V, tapping the dropper on the vial two times.)
Lafayette: ...for the blood. Our blood sustains life, this blood...
(Lafayette waves the eyedropper under his nose, sniffing it.)
Lafayette: ...is life. One drop...
(Lafayette places one drop of V on one of the paper squares.)
Lafayette: ...that's all you need. Can't be greedy.
(Lafayette places one drop on each of the remaining paper squares.)
Lafayette: Billions of molecules of pure, undiluted, twenty-fo' karat life. You take this in and you take in a piece of the vampire it came from. The trick is...(whispering) you have to let it take you deep. Follow it. Soak it in.
(Lafayette takes the last paper square he dabbed with V and places it in his mouth. He closes his eyes, and exhales. Jason, no longer cuddling the throw pillow, moves closer.)
Jason: What kind of vampire is that?
(Lafayette opens his eyes.)
Lafayette: He's new. So the blood is still a little wild. I can feel him in my muscles makin' me strong.
(Jason chuckles nervously, still staring at Lafayette.)
Lafayette: But you might get another side of him. The same V could affect you in a whole 'nother way. But I guarantee you'll see the world with new eyes.
(Lafayette slides a paper square with his right index finger to Jason's side of the glass-top table. With his left hand, Jason picks up the square, He looks at it and hesitates slightly before placing it on his tongue. He closes his mouth and his eyes, and exhales deeply.)
Jason: Christ, I can't believe I'm doin' this again.
Lafayette: Oh, no, man. You doin' it for the first time.
SCENE 5: The bar at Merlotte's after the lunch crowd. Sookie and Arlene are tending to their end-of-shift duties. Four people are sitting at the other end of the bar eating their meals, including Detective Andy Bellefleur, who sits at the corner. Sookie, her hair in pigtails, has spilled some ketchup on her left hand. She grabs a towel to wipe off the ketchup. Arlene and Sam are behind the bar. A man is playing a video slots machine near the front door.
Arlene: That vampire Bill would get a rise out of that.
Sookie: You'll have to ask him yourself.
Arlene: Vamp club not all it was made out to be, huh? A lot of freaks, I hear. And people from Arkansas.
Sookie: It was fine.
(Sookie continues pouring the remainder of a bottle of ketchup into another.)
Arlene: So what, then? Did that vampire get all handsy with you?
Sookie: I can take care of myself. And no, I won't be goin' out with him again.
(Arlene looks incredulously at Sam, who cracks a small smile. Sookie stops pouring ketchup.)
Sookie: OK, that place was kinda freaky, but how are you ever gonna know until you go see for yourself.
Sam: I said my piece yesterday.
(Sookie picks up the bottles of ketchup and continues pouring.)
Arlene: I'm sorry it didn't turn out like you'd hoped, but better it happens now than before you end up hurt, or dead.
(Sookie looks silently at Arlene. Arlene walks away. Sam approaches Sookie.)
Sam: I hope you're not too flipped out to miss the Descendants of the Glorious Dead tonight.
Sookie: No, I gotta go. Gran spent all week on it.
Sam: Good, 'cause...I was gonna ask if you wanna go with me.
(Andy Bellefleur and the other three diners stop eating and look at Sam and Sookie.)
Sam: Maybe we'll go grab a cup of coffee or somethin' after.
(Sookie stares at Sam for a few seconds, and puts down the bottles of ketchup.)
Sookie: Are you askin' me out?
(Sam smiles nervously.)
Sam: Yeah, I am.
(Sam looks downward.)
Sam: That's pretty much how I do it.
(Sam looks at Sookie again.)
Sam: Sometimes they even say yes.
(Arlene is now watching Sam and Sookie with the four diners. Sookie looks at the diners, then at Sam.)
Sookie: Everyone's lookin' at us.
Sam: I know. You better say yes.
(Silence between Sookie and Sam, as Arlene cranes her neck to watch them from the other end of the bar. Sookie smiles.)
Sookie: Shoot. Why not?
Sam: Good.
(Sam looks at the diners and Arlene.)
Sam: Eyes back on your food, people.
(Sam leaves, Sookie looking at him with a confused smile. Shortly, Andy Bellefleur is the only one left sitting at the bar, wiping his mouth with a napkin. Sookie brings him a refilled bottle of ketchup and places it in front of him.)
Sookie: Sorry about that. They were all kind of watery.
Andy Bellefleur: No sweat. Love is in the air, huh?
Sookie: Uh, I guess?
Andy Bellefleur: Even that brother of yours. He gettin' serious with Tara?
Sookie: Tara who? Tara Tara?
Andy Bellefleur: I thought you knew.
Sookie: If there was any truth to it, I would.
Andy Bellefleur (thinking): There you go, right there. I knew it. Tara ain't bangin' Stackhouse. Bitch lied to me.
Sookie: Watch your mouth, Andy Bellefleur.
Andy Bellefleur: I didn't say anything. (Looking directly at Sookie; thinking) I know I didn't say anything, but I did think it. And you heard it, that means it's true. You can hear what people think.
Sookie: Let me get you a refill on that tea.
(Sookie picks up the red plastic tumbler in front of Andy Bellefleur and walks behind him to his left. He looks to where Sookie has walked. Sookie enters the service area of Merlotte's. Sam is drying a tumbler.)
Sookie (to Sam): Need a sweet tea.
(Sookie places the tumbler she took from Andy Bellefleur on a stainless steel tabletop by Sam.)
Sookie: Tara here yet?
Sam: She just came in. She's in the ladies' room.
(Sookie turns and storms to the ladies' room, where Tara is fixing her hair in front of a mirror. Sookie opens the door, and Tara turns to face her.)
Tara: Why didn't you tell me you were goin' out with Sam?
Sookie: Because it...just happened. And how did you know?
Tara: Arlene, she works fast.
Sookie: All's he did was ask me to the DGD tonight. It's in a church, for cryin' out loud.
(Sookie looks out into the service area at Sam through the open door of the ladies' room, then looks back at Tara.)
Sookie: And why shouldn't I? He's perfectly nice, and he's got a good job, and he's not a vampire, and...oh, why...why do I have to justify this to you?
Tara: Wha...I'm entitled to know what my girl's up to, ain't I?
Sookie: Yeah, about that...
(Sookie closes the door to the ladies' room as Sam watches from the service area.)
Sookie: Why does Andy Bellefleur think you're seein' my brother?
Tara: I went down to the sheriff's and gave Jason an alibi.
Sookie: What'd you do that for?
Tara: Because I know he's innocent and so do you. And we both know the more time he spends with the police the more he's gonna talk himself into trouble.
(Tara looks rather evasive.)
Sookie: Is there something' else you're not tellin' me?
Tara: No.
Tara (thinking): La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la ...
Sookie: What are you doin'?
Tara: Not every detail of everyone's personal life is your business, OK?
(Tara opens the door to the ladies' room and walks into the service area, passing Sam.)
Tara (shouting): Keep that girl away from me!
(Sookie leaves the ladies' room, walks into the service area, and picks up a red plastic tumbler.)
Sam: Is everything OK?
(Sookie leaves the service area, and takes the red plastic tumbler to Andy Bellefleur, resting his chin on his wrists. She places the tumbler on the bar in front of him as he sits up.)
Sookie: Here you go. Hey...now that I think of it, my brother and Tara have kind of been sneakin' around lately. It's a shame they feel they gotta keep it quiet.
Andy Bellefleur (looking directly at Sookie; thinking): She must think I'm an idiot, like I don't know now she's coverin' for him too. <snip>, don't look her in the eye.
(Andy Bellefleur looks away from Sookie.)
Sookie: If you're gonna accuse me of lyin', be a man and say it out loud, for Pete's sake.
(Andy Bellefleur looks at Sookie again.)
Sookie: Either way, I'm gonna hear you whether you look me in the eye or not. Let's face it, there's not a whole lot of ideas in there. Like mice in a cage.
(Andy Bellefleur is still looking at Sookie.)
Sookie: I know you're graspin' at straws, but don't drag my brother down with you.
(Sookie turns around, and heads toward the other end of the bar as Andy Bellefleur watches, pouting.)
SCENE 6: The Church just before 8:00 PM. It is dark, and people are entering the church. Hoyt Fortenberry is inside, handing flyers to seated attendees.
Hoyt: Here you go.
Mrs. Fortenberry: Hoyt!
(Hoyt turns his head to see his mother gesturing "come here". She is standing in the chancel, trying to remove a large brass cross on a pedestal above and behind the altar. Hoyt and walks up to the altar rail.)
Hoyt: Ah, ah, ah! Mama! What are you doin'?
Mrs. Fortenberry (whispering): Help Mama get this thing down!
Hoyt: Get it...?
(Hoyt looks at the gathering, then back at his mother, with a concerned look on his face.)
Mrs. Fortenberry (whispering): Our guest of honor is a vampire. Adele plum forgot that little fact when she booked the church for tonight. What do you think's gonna happen when he comes out and sees a giant cross?
Hoyt: I don't know.
Mrs. Fortenberry (whispering): Well, I don't either. But if he sizzles up like fatback bacon in front of everybody, there's not gonna be much of a meetin', now, is there?
(Hoyt shakes his head.)
Mrs. Fortenberry (whispering): Now come on, make yourself useful.
(Mrs. Fortenberry reattempts to remove the cross, as Hoyt goes to help her.)
Hoyt: Quit jerkin' on it.
(Gran, dressed in white and wearing a red corsage, is also handing out flyers, and greets René, Arlene, and Arlene's children Coby and Lisa near the front doors of the church. Gran chuckles.)
Gran (to the children): Hi, there, munchkins! I reckon you're the youngest history buffs we've had at the DGD.
René: Yeah, well, they wouldn't stay home for nuttin'. The minute they heard "vampire", they hadda come.
Arlene: Yeah.
(Arlene pats Gran on the shoulder as she, René and the children enter the church. Mayor Norris approaches Gran.)
Gran: Well, hello there, Mayor Norris.
Mayor Norris: Evenin', Adele. Quite a turnout.
(Mayor Norris's wife, Myra, joins them. She doesn't look happy as she looks at Mayor Norris and folds her arms.)
Myra: Isn't it?
Mayor Norris: Good thing Myra made extra ambrosia.
Gran(to Myra): Oh...Andy Bellefleur will like that. He's with the Dearbornes.
(Gran points to her left, and we see Sheriff Dearborne taking a chair beside Andy Bellefleur. Several women are fanning themselves with leaf fans.)
Gran (off-camera): Look, Lord know why Bud insisted on wearing his uniform.
(Myra looks around a bit nervously.)
Mayor Norris (off-camera): Is our vampire friend here?
Gran: In the kitchen waitin'.
(Bill, dressed in a khaki-colored suit and striped blue shirt, sits alone at the end of a table in the church kitchen. The kitchen is unlit, save for some dim light coming through a window behind him. On the table are various food dishes covered in plastic wrap, and an open bottle of Tru:Blood next to Bill. The camera closes in on the bottle and Bill seems to be staring into space.)
Gran (off-camera): I left him with a bottle of that Tru:Blood they like.
Mayor Norris (off-camera): Adele? Do you think we've taken enough precautions?
(Gran and Mayor Norris are still talking in the nave.
Gran: Against what?)
Mayor Norris: Well, to make sure...everybody's safe.
(The Mayor sighs.)
Mayor Norris: Ordinarily I wouldn't pay no mind, but there's young folks here.
(Gran's smile disappears.)
Gran: Sterling, we don't have anythin' to be frightened of, Mr. Compton...is a perfect gentleman.
(Gran resumes handing out flyers to incoming attendees.)
Gran: Frankly I am more worried about what we might do to him.
(Gran pats Mayor Norris on the back of his shoulders as he and Myra walk into the nave. Hoyt has climbed up onto the altar and is trying to remove the heavy, brass cross from view.)
Hoyt: Hoooohhh!
(Hoyt gives up.)
Hoyt: Mama, this ain't gonna budge without a jackhammer or a blowtorch.
Mrs. Fortenberry (whispering): Get down from there. I got a better idea.
(Sookie, her hair worn down, enters the church. Sam walks just behind her. Sookie greets Gran.)
Sookie: Wow! Gran, look at all the people!
(Sookie gives Gran a hug and a kiss on the cheek.)
Gran: Isn't it excitin'?
(Sam joins Gran and Sookie.)
Gran: Well, Sam Merlotte, what a nice surprise.
(Bill is still sitting at the table in the church kitchen and still staring off into emptiness.)
Sam (off-camera): When she told me she was comin' here alone tonight, I thought it would be a shame if she came without an escort.
Gran (off-camera): How very gentlemanly of you.
(Sam laughs (off-camera).)
Sookie: (off-camera): OK, we're sittin' down now.
(In the church, two older men place a Confederate flag onto a pedestal base, as Tara (perhaps the only African-American in attendance) watches wide-eyed, saying nothing. There is an empty seat to her right, and more on her left. Sam and Sookie make their way down the row of chairs.)
Sookie (to Tara): Hey, girl. Can we join you?
(Sam and Sookie approach Tara.)
Sam: Hi, Tara.
Tara (laughing nervously): Sure, come on in.
(Sam sits at Tara's left, and Sookie sits at Sam's left.)
Tara (to herself): Could always use more white people.
(Tara elbows Sam and he jumps. Outside the church, as more people walk inside, Jason approaches alone. Instead of going inside, he looks up at a magnolia tree, which seems to glow as Jason remembers what Lafayette said to him that morning.)
Lafayette (off-camera): If you can learn to control it, V will open up your mind...
(Jason sees sparks fly out of the blooms of the magnolia tree.)
Lafayette (off-camera): ...to everything you missin' around you.
(Jason gazes upward at the sparkling magnolia blooms, and his expression changes from one of awe to a smile. He looks around, wipes his eyes with his hands and his hands on the front of his shirt. Inside the church, three rednecks, Wayne (wearing a blue denim jacket), Royce (wearing a camo t-shirt) and Chuck (wearing an unbuttoned plaid shirt) are walking around, looking for seats.)
Wayne: There's nothing but old people. Man, I thought we were here for a vam-purr, not zombies.
Chuck: Yeah, more like "Descendants of the Walking Dead."
(The rednecks find seats. Wayne sits to the right of Chuck, who sits at the right of Royce, who has an aisle seat.)
Royce (whispering): Hey! You <snip> didn't leave the <snip> in the pick 'em-up, did you?
(Wayne pats the front pocket on the left side of his jacket. Tara is fanning herself with a Jesus fan as Jason walks in from behind and looks at the crowd in the church. Jason takes a deep breath. He makes his way slowly to Tara. Despite the blades of the ceiling fan of the church beating the air rapidly, Jason hears a slow, heavy beating sound. He sees a bead of perspiration as it rolls down the back of Tara's neck, and he hears a small waterfall. Jason greets Tara from the right, smiling.)
Jason: Hey.
(Tara looks up at Jason while Sookie and Sam turn their heads toward him.)
Jason: Mind if I sit with you?
Tara: Uh...sure, have a seat.
(Jason takes the empty aisle seat at Tara's right, and notices Sam and Sookie next to her.)
Jason (to Sam and Sookie): Hey, guys.
Tara (to Jason): How you feelin'?
Jason: Oh, strong! Alive.
(Jason stares at the altar and smiles like a brain-dead game show prize model.)
Jason: Yep!
(Sookie is sitting forward in her chair.)
Sam (to Sookie, whispering): Hey, sit back. It's OK. Relax.
Sookie: I thought I was relaxed.
Sam: I don't think you know how.
(Sookie sits back in her chair somewhat uneasily. Mrs. Fortenberry's concern with the cross has been successfully addressed, the cross now draped from view with an American flag. Gran walks to the front of the nave. Most of the crowd is sitting; some are standing.)
Gran (to the crowd): Welcome. It certainly is a pleasure to see so many new faces here this month. But Mayor Norris assures me that there will be enough ambrosia and tipsy cake for everyone.
(The crowd gives a collective, polite laugh, save for Andy Bellefleur, who fidgets.)
Gran: Now, our guest tonight is a gentleman who, despite what you might have heard, is one of us.
(As we look at the crowd, it becomes evident that there are no pews in this church; only chairs.)
Gran: His family was among the first to settle in Bon Temps and he bravely fought for Louisiana in the war for Southern independence. Let us welcome one of the original sons of Bon Temps back to the town that he helped build. I give you First Lieutenant William Thomas Compton.
(Gran steps aside and Bill opens a door near the pulpit, entering to some scattered applause. The door closes behind him. Bill steps up to the pulpit and looks at the crowd.)
Bill: Thank you, Mrs. Stackhouse. If you'll pardon me for a moment...
(Bill steps down from the pulpit and walks to the flag-covered cross and removes the flag from it. The crowd gasps. Bill takes a flagpole from the altar and reattaches the flag to it. Upon finishing, Bill looks up at the flag, then at the crowd.)
Bill: As a patriot of this great nation, I wouldn't dream of puttin' myself before Old Glory.
(Bill places the flag and flagpole in a pedestal stand beside the altar, returns to the pulpit, and speaks into the microphone.)
Bill (smiling slightly): As you can see, I did not burst into flames.
(Bill's smile broadens, and some laughter is heard from the crowd.)
Bill: We vampires are not minions of the Devil. We can stand before a cross, or a Bible, or in a church, just as readily as any other creature of God.
Mrs. Fortenberry (to Hoyt; whispering): Wha...how was I supposed to know?
Bill: I am honored to stand before you tonight. Vampires have traditionally been very private, perhaps to our detriment. But I believe, if we reach out to one another, that we can coexist...
(Bill looks at Sookie.)
Bill: ...and even thrive together.
(Sookie looks down at the floor. Bill smiles anyway.)
Bill: I served in the 28th Louisiana infantry, formed in Monroe in 1862, under Colonel Henry Gray. It was there that we learned the value of human life, and the ease with which it can be extinguished.
(Bill continues speaking.)
Sheriff Bud Dearborne (to Andy Bellefleur): That son of buck's been killin' since the 1860's. Why stop now?
Andy Bellefleur: That don't prove anything.
(Sheriff Dearborne looks at Andy Bellefleur, who looks at Terry Bellefleur across the aisle from them.)
Andy Bellefleur: My cousin Terry killed 20 Iraqis in Fallujah. You sayin' we should lock him up?
Sheriff Bud Dearborne: Your cousin Terry should be locked up.
Bill: Uneducated as we were, we knew little of the political or ideological conflicts that had led to this point.
(Coby leans over René to Arlene.)
Coby (whispering): Mama, he's so white!
Arlene: No, darlin'. We're white. He's dead.
(René chuckles quietly.)
Bill: But goin' to war was not a choice for us. We believed to a man..
(Jason stares intently at Bill. Jason's heart pumps furiously. Bill's voice echoes in Jason's ears.)
Bill: ...that we had a calling to fulfill. A destiny handed down to us from above.
(We see Bill from the POV of someone sitting on the right-hand side of the church. The echoing is no longer present.)
Bill: God forbid should any of our men become wounded or injured. Often the only recourse for a serious injury was amputation.
(Royce laughs to himself as Bill continues speaking.)
Bill (off-camera): More times than I care to remember, I had to hold down one of my fellow soldiers while the medic took a saw to his arm or leg. We had no anesthesia at the time. Apart from a bit of whiskey.
(Sookie turns her head over her right shoulder, and sees Wayne taking a garlic press from inside his jacket and handing to Chuck, who opens it.)
Royce (to Chuck; whispering): Load it up!
(Sookie gives the rednecks a disapproving look as Chuck hands the garlic press to Royce.)
Bill (off-camera): It often seemed that the man bein' operated upon suffered more from his surgery than he did from his original wound. Even if he survived the amputation, the chance of subsequent infection was high.
(While remaining seated, Royce holds the garlic press in view of Bill and squeezes it, garlic coming out through the tiny holes.)
Royce (semi-whispering, to Bill): <snip>!
(Bill, non-plussed, glances at Royce as the three rednecks giggle amongst themselves like children.)
Unknown Female Voice (whispered): Keep it down!
Bill: In the winter months, the nights could grow bitter cold.
(Bill continues speaking as Hoyt, in the church kitchen, takes items from the refrigerator and places them on a table. Upon removing a cake, Hoyt finds a bottle of Tru:Blood, picks it up, looks at it, and opens it. He sniffs the uncapped bottle, puts the cap back on, and places the bottle back in the refrigerator. In the nave of the church, an elderly DGD member stands up from the audience and speaks to Bill.)
Elderly DGD Member: My great-grandfather was in the 28th.
(The audience turn and look at him.)
Elderly DGD Member: I wonder if you might have known him. His name was Tolliver Humphries.
Bill: Tolliver Humphries.
Elderly DGD Member: Um-hmm.
Bill: Yes. I knew him very well. We fought together. Tolliver Humphries was my friend. He was a brave man, perhaps to a fault. I dare say it contributed to his death.
Elderly DGD Member: What happened? Were you there?
Bill: I was.
Flashback to the American Civil War battlefield. A Confederate flag rests on the ground. A Confederate soldier lays wounded and coughing in the arms of another Confederate soldier. Other soldiers lay on the ground and two more, Bill and a young Tolliver Humphries, sit against a large tree.
(Bill (narrating; off-camera): We were about 20 miles north of where I stand now. The Federals outnumbered us five to one. And they had better firepower as well. We'd spent much of the afternoon recovering the bodies of those we'd lost.)
Wounded Boy Soldier (off-camera): Help me, please!
(Bill (narrating; off-camera): There was a boy in our troop, no more than 13 or 14, who lay wounded in the middle of a field under poor cover.)
The wounded boy soldier lays on the ground some distance away from the rest, calling to the men.
(Bill (narrating; off-camera): He called to us all day. He begged us to help him.)
Bill turns around and aims his rifle at the wounded boy solder.
(Bill(narrating; off-camera): He knew he would die if we didn't. I admit I considered shootin' the boy myself just to shut him up. But Tolliver convinced me that would be an act of murder, not war.)
Tolliver pulls the rifle away from Bill.
Tolliver Humphries (shouting): He's one of us! Tolliver and Bill sit behind the large tree.
(Bill (narrating; off-camera): He told me God wanted him to rescue that boy.)
Tolliver Humphries: I'll go get him.
Tolliver takes the rifle and runs to the wounded boy soldier.
Bill: No. Tolliver...(screaming) Tolliver, please...!
(Bill(narrating; off-camera): I pleaded with him not to go. To think of his wife and children back home. He ran into that field like it was a cool spring day.)
Bill watches as Tolliver is shot multiple times and falls.
(Bill (narrating; off-camera): They shot him just as he reached the boy.)
Bill, behind the tree, slumps down.
(Bill (narrating; off-camera): It was obvious to us that he was beyond help. And then, after a while, the boy started screamin' again.)
Tolliver lies dead beside the wounded boy soldier, who screams.
(Jason is jolted out of whatever V-induced state he was enjoying. Nervously, Jason looks around at the crowd. All eyes are on Bill.)
Mrs. Fortenberry: What happened to the boy?
Bill: He lived. He survived the day...
(Terry Bellefleur seems as if he's about to explode.)
Bill: ... and then under cover of darkness we retrieved him later that night, along with the body of Tolliver Humphries. But it seems that Tolliver was right. God did look after his descendants. Yes? Mayor Norris.
(Mayor Norris stands up. With the aid of a cane, he slowly walks up to Bill.)
Mayor Norris: I've been digging in the archives this week... and I found this old tintype.
(Mayor Norris holds up the tintype, in a folding picture frame, to Bill.)
Mayor Norris: The inscription on the back says, "Mr. W.T. Compton and family." Can you tell us if this is a picture of you?
(Bill takes the tintype from Mayor Norris, opens the frame, and looks at the black-and-white image of himself standing behind a little girl. A woman is sitting down next to them, holding an infant (their son) in her arms. Bills tries not to be emotional.)
Bill: This... this is a remarkable photograph. I remember the day we gathered to have this taken.
Mrs. Fortenberry: When was the last time you were with them?
Bill: When I..I went to war in 1862. I...my human life ended before I had a chance to come back home.
René: But'choo became a...a vampire after that, right? Couldn'tcha go back to your family then?
Bill: No. No. That wouldn't have been possible.
(Bill closes the picture frame, and dabs his eyes with a handkerchief.)
Bill: I apologize. This is not a subject I'm very comfortable speaking about. But thank you for the photograph, Mayor. Brings back many memories for me.
(The Mayor returns to his seat as Bill returns to the pulpit.)
Bill: Any other questions?
(Bill clenches his handkerchief in his right fist by his side. It's stained with a drop of blood.)
SCENE 7: The church's fellowship hall. Tiny Confederate flags decorate the tables at which people are enjoying food and conversation. Piano music is in the background. Gran and Bill are standing, talking with a blond woman dressed in blue.
Gran: Thanks for coming, dear.
(Gran and Bill smile, and the blond woman leaves. Terry Bellefleur approaches Bill. Terry shakes his head, then hugs Bill.)
Terry: They don't understand, man. None of them will ever understand.
(Bill nods.)
Terry: You stay sharp, brother.
Bill: All right.
(Bill watches Terry as Terry leaves. Bill and Gran are then approached by Mrs. Fortenberry.)
Mrs. Fortenberry: Could I...?
(Hoyt joins the three.)
Mrs. Fortenberry: Would it be possible to take a picture with you?
Bill: Of course.
Mrs. Fortenberry: You won't vanish in the photo?
Bill: That's just a myth. And it's one I'd be happy to disprove.
(Mrs. Fortenberry hands a camera to Gran.)
Bill (to Mrs. Fortenberry): Come around.
(Bill has his right arm across Mrs. Fortenberry's shoulders, and Hoyt has his right hand on Bill's left shoulder. It seems Bill is taller than Mrs. Fortenberry, and Hoyt is taller than Bill. The three smile, and Hoyt gives a thumbs-up signal to Gran, who snaps a picture and returns the camera to Mrs. Fortenberry.)
Gran (smiling): Here you are.
Mrs. Fortenberry: Thanks so much, Adele.
(Bill smiles at Mrs. Fortenberry and Hoyt as they walk away. Sookie approaches Gran and Bill.)
Sookie (to Bill): Hey! Great job tonight!
(Sam joins the three.)
Gran: Wasn't he just marvelous?
Sam (somewhat less than cordial): Yeah, that was...that was quite a show.
Sookie: Bill, you remember Sam, right?
(Sookie and Sam look at one another briefly.)
Bill: Yes, you're Sookie's employer.
Sam: Not when we're off-duty.
(Sam puts his arm around Sookie.)
Bill: No, legally you still are.
(Sam gives Bill a hard look.)
Sam: Well, I just wanted to congratulate you. Seems like you've won everybody over.
Bill (looking directly at Sookie): Well, some, I hope.
Sam: Well, we better get going. We're gonna grab a cup of coffee before we call it a night.
Bill (to Sam, somewhat coldly): Coffee. Sounds delightful.
(Sookie hugs Gran.)
Sookie: Good night, Gran. I'll see ya later.
(Gran nods. Sookie and Sam leave Bill with Gran.)
Bill (half-heartedly): He seems nice.
Gran: Hmm... SCENE 8: Merlotte's that evening. Tara is serving drinks at the bar. A blond woman in a red floral print top and a miniskirt made from an old pair of jeans walks past a table where Jason, Hoyt, and René are sitting. There's an empty clear plastic beer pitcher on their table. Arlene is dressed in her Merlotte's uniform, taking an order from a nearby table.
Hoyt: Man, this place is crawlin' with hot chicks and we're just sittin' here like our <snip> are stuck together.
René: Don't look at me. My chère is right there.
(René looks over his right shoulder at Arlene. Jason unbuttons his shirt and rubs the table with his hands.)
René (to Hoyt): You want a girl so bad, you get one yourself. You...
(Arlene runs her fingers through René's hair as she walks past their table.)
Jason: Want another round?
René: Yeah...?
Hoyt: Hey...maybe we should order up a couple of those Tru:Bloods.
(René makes an ugly face.)
Hoyt: After meetin' a vampire tonight, don't you wanna try it and see what it's like?
René: I go to the dog races. You see me eating Alpo?
(Jason turns his head over his left shoulder in the direction of the bar area.)
Hoyt: I just thought he was pretty cool, was all. Another Dixie Draft? Jason?
(Jason has tuned out the crowd. At the other end of Merlotte's, he sees a woman wearing a leaf garland in her long brown hair and a purple dress. She is reclining on her side on a rock by a waterfall, pouring water from an amphora, and surrounded by greenery. It is Tara, and she is smiling at Jason.)
Hoyt: Jason!
(Jason returns to reality and turns around.)
Hoyt: Dixie Draft?
Jason: Yeah. I'll get it.
(Jason picks up the empty beer pitcher and stands up.)
Jason: I love you guys.
Hoyt: I know.
(Jason leaves the table as Hoyt and René look at one another, seemingly concerned about Jason's behavior. Jason walks up to Tara at the bar. Tara is not smiling at Jason as he hands her the empty pitcher.)
Tara: Another Dixie Draft?
(Jason grabs Tara's arm with his left hand and caresses it.)
Jason (looking at Tara's arm): Whoa! You feel that? Every hair on your arm shooting sparks into my hand.
(Tara looks at Jason as if he's lost his mind.)
Jason: You know those 'lectric fences they use to pen horses? It feels like I just pissed on one.
Tara: Oh, my God, you are still high. I'm gonna kill Lafayette.
(Tara places the empty pitcher behind the bar.)
Jason: No, don't. I'm not high.
(Tara looks at Jason with disbelief.)
Jason: OK, I am high. But that don't mean that what I'm feeling ain't real. For the first time, I can see clear. All these years, I was blinded by the <snip> that keeps people apart. It's you, Tara. It's been you all along.
Tara: Who you think you're talking to? I've known you since I was 6 years old.
Jason: And it's taken me all this time to admit it. Come here.
(Jason leans over to Tara, and she giggles.)
Jason: This bar might be full of beautiful women, but you're the one who took care of me when I needed it. You showed me love, Tara. And that's the most beautiful thing of all.
(Jason and Tara look at one another. Tara isn't giggling anymore.)
Tara: Come to me when you're sober. Then we can talk serious.
(Jason interlaces the fingers of his left hand with Tara's.)
Jason: Just give me a chance, I'll prove it to you. Everythin' I'm feelin'...
(Jason has cupped his right hand over their hands.)
Jason: ... I want to feel it with ya. One chance.
(Jason lightly kisses Tara's hand.)
Jason: That's all I'm askin'.
(Tara is shaken and walks away.)
SCENE 9: Sam and Sookie are having coffee and sharing a slice of pie at another restaurant. A small piece of pie remains on the plate as Sookie puts down her dessert fork.
Sookie (smiling at Sam): Last bite's yours.
Sam: No, you go ahead.
Sookie: Here, we'll split it.
(Sookie picks up her fork and cuts the piece of pie in two. Sookie eats one piece as Sam sips his coffee.)
Sam: Well, I guess you saw this comin', huh?
Sookie: What? Tonight? What makes you say that?
Sam: Well, I said you could listen in. Hear what I'm thinkin' if you wanted. Have you ever even tried?
Sookie: No, I have, and to be honest, it's a little weird. You don't think the way others do. Most people, it's whole sentences or images. With you, sometimes there's words, but other times, I just get these sounds. Like, waves of emotions.
Sam: I guess I'm just a freak.
Sookie: I was gonna say mysterious.
(Sam looks at Sookie, and takes another sip of his coffee.)
Sookie: How come nobody knows anything about you? I never hear you talk about where you're from, or your family, or anything.
Sam: The place I'm from, the people who raised me, got nothin' to do with who I am. And I ended up pretty much raisin' myself.
Sookie: Is that why you spend so much time alone?
Sam: Naw. I think that's just 'cause I don't like people.
(Sookie laughs.)
Sookie: Come on, no one goes and opens a bar if they don't like people.
Sam: Well...maybe I wanted to meet some pretty waitresses.
Sookie: Too bad you got yourself a couple of crazy ones in the bargain.
Sam: Sookie? There's nothin' wrong with you. I can't understand why you'd wanna fix or change or hide anything. I wouldn't want ya any other way.
Sookie: You're just tryin' to get on my good side.
Sam: How am I doin'?
(Sookie chuckles and looks at the dessert plate.)
Sookie: Finish it.
(Sam cuts the tiny piece of pie in two, and eats one of the pieces.)
Sam: That's yours.
(Sookie eats the last piece.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
SCENE 10: Merlotte's, the same evening. Lafayette is in the kitchen mixing something with a spoon. He is wearing the same black tank top and turban as he did that morning. Arlene comes to the service window, returning a hamburger.
Lafayette: Is there a problem with my burger?
Arlene: Just a couple of drunk rednecks, that's all.
Lafayette: Well, what's they problem?
Arlene: Oh, come on, now. It's not worth it.
Lafayette: What did they say?
(Lafayette looks from the service window of the kitchen into the restaurant. Royce, Wayne, and Chuck are sitting in a booth, looking at him.)
Arlene: He said the burger...
(Lafayette slams the spoon down.)
Lafayette (angry): What did they say, Arlene?
Arlene: He said the burger might have AIDS.
(Lafayette cocks his head and removes his earrings.)
Arlene: Lafayette?
(Lafayette removes his apron and leaves the kitchen with the hamburger. Arlene clasps her hands behind her head, looking worried.)
Arlene: Oh, fudge.
(Lafayette walks to the rednecks' booth with the burger.)
Lafayette: 'Scue me...Who ordered the hamburger...
(Lafayette places the burger on the table in front of the three.)
Lafayette: ...with AIDS?
(Wayne and Chuck laugh.)
Royce: I ordered the hamburger deluxe.
Lafayette: In this restaurant, a hamburger deluxe come with fren' fries, lettuce, tomato and mayo...(yelling) and AIDS!
(Lafayette looks around.)
Lafayette (shouting): Do anybody got a problem with that?
Royce: Yeah! I'm an American. And I got a say in who makes my food.
Lafayette: Well baby, it's too late for that. <snip> been breedin' your cows, raising your chickens, even brewin' your beer long before I walked my sexy ass up in this <snip>. Everything on your <snip> damn table got AIDS.
Royce (angry): You still ain't makin' me eat no AIDS burger.
Lafayette (leaning over closer to Royce): Well, all you gotta do is say "hold the AIDS." Here...
(Lafayette takes the top bun off the burger, licks the mayonnaise off it, and crams it into Royce's face.)
Lafayette: ...eat it!
(Lafayette shoves the bun onto Royce's face. Wayne and Chuck get up to hit Lafayette, but he decks each of them. Royce tries to hit him, but Lafayette gut-punches him and fells him with a right uppercut to the jaw. Lafayette picks up the plate and looks at the three.)
Lafayette (shouting): Bitch, you come in my house, you gonna eat my food the way I <snip> make it! Do you understand me?
(Lafayette drops the plate onto Royce's lap. Royce looks hard at Lafayette, and knocks the plate off his lap.)
Lafayette: Tip your waitress!
(Lafayette turns around, walks past Jason. Jason holds out his left hand and slaps Lafayette's left palm with it. Jason, Hoyt, and René look at Royce, Wayne and Chuck, and laugh at them.)
SCENE 11: The brick exterior of the restaurant where Sookie and Sam shared dessert and coffee. There is a glass door with a green frame and a white lace curtain behind the glass, cinched with a green band in the center. On the upper part of the door, an OPEN sign is displayed, and the words "FRESH FISH" and "OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK" are painted on the glass below the sign. A bell rings as the door is opened. Sookie and Sam exit. The bell rings again as Sam closes the door behind them.
Sam: I, for one, am thankful you can't hear all my thoughts.
Sookie: Why's that?
(Sam grabs Sookie by the hips and smiles.)
Sam: 'Cause then you'd know what's comin'.
(Sam backs Sookie up against his sport-utility vehicle and kisses her passionately on the lips. Sookie returns the kiss, then backs off.)
Sam: You OK? Are we goin' too fast?
Sookie: No. Uh..n-no. Uh...maybe?
Sam: I don't wanna make you do anything you don't wanna do.
Sookie: No, I do, I do, I do. Trust me. I..I want to. It's just...kinda... too much right now, and a little too soon since...
Sam: Since what? Oh, <snip> damn it, Sookie!
(Sam turns away from Sookie.)
Sookie: I'm sorry. I'm not used to this.
Sam: Should never have gone to see that damn vampire.
Sookie: It's not him! It's just ...just stop it! I just can't go jumpin' from kissin' one man to the next so quickly.
Sam: You kissed him?
Sookie: That's none of your business.
Sam: What else did you do?
Sookie: That's really none of your business. Is this a contest for you? Whatever he did, you have to top it?
Sam: Come on, be fair.
Sookie: You know what's unfair, is you waitin' for someone else shows an interest before you decide to kiss me!
Sam: Sookie! You have no future with a vampire!
Sookie: They don't die. I've got nothing but a future with one.
Sam: Oh, just like Dawn had a future? Like Maudette Pickens had a future?
Sookie: Bill did not kill those women.
Sam: Listen, there's nothing that I will not do to keep that thing from hurting you. They're not like us. They could turn on you.
Sookie: And people can't? You're doin' pretty good right now.
(Sam calms down.)
Sam: All right, I think I best take you home.
(Sookie walks to the restaurant door.)
Sookie: You go ahead. I'll call a cab.
(Sookie goes inside, the bell ringing as she opens the door.)
Sam (yelling): Aw...for cryin' out loud, don't be stupid, Sookie! Get in!
(The restaurant door closes.)
Sam: Sookie!
(Sam slams the passenger-side door of his sport-utility vehicle. There is green sign hanging above the restaurant door. It is rectangular, hung horizontally, with concave sides. In cursive lettering reads "Crawdad's" and in smaller printed letters below that "[illegible] RESTAURANT". Next door to Crawdad's is a white sign with reddish letters reading "[illegible] ICE CREAM". Sam walks to the driver's door of his SUV, opens it, and climbs in.)
SCENE 12: Back at Merlotte's, the blond woman in the red floral print tank top and blue jean miniskirt is dancing by herself between the bar and the billiards area. She seems to have had one too many. Jason seems to be encouraging Hoyt as Hoyt leaves their table to talk to her.
Jason (to Hoyt, shaking his fist as if using a whip): Whip it! Whip it!
(Hoyt approaches the dancing woman, who turns to face him. Hoyt smiles, and waves his right index finger in the air and trying to dance.)
Randi Sue: What you doin', baby?
Hoyt: Aw. You know, keeping it real. Partyin'.
Randi Sue: Me too. I'm celebratin'!
(Hoyt chuckles.)
Hoyt: Oh, yeah? What's the occasion?
Randi Sue: My divorce went through today! Yee-haaaaaa!
(Randi Sue throws her arms up in the air, high-fives Hoyt, and spins around.)
Hoyt: Whoa-ho! That's great.
(Randi Sue stares glassy-eyed at Hoyt.)
Randi Sue: He was a jerk. He shot my car.
(Hoyt closes his eyes and shakes his head.)
Hoyt: Hmm...sorry to hear that.
Randi Sue: Yeah?
(René and Jason watch Hoyt and Randi Sue from their table. René seems to be rather tipsy, too.)
René: It's like watchin' Animal Planet, yeah? Any second, she gonna bite his head off, I swear.
(Randi Sue rubs her back up against Hoyt's front.)
Randi Sue: So...you wanna help me forget all about him?
(Hoyt has rejoined René and Jason at their table.)
Hoyt: She asked me to come home with her.
René: So, what are you doin' here, you?
Hoyt: I said I'd think about it.
René: Aight...yeah, you a lost cause.
(René drinks his beer.)
Hoyt: What? I just didn't feel that..that spark!
(René and Jason chuckle as Tara comes to their table.)
Tara: Another Dixie Draft?
(Tara places a fresh pitcher of beer on the table.)
Tara: Tru:Blood, O Negative.
(Tara places a cocktail napkin and a bottle of Tru:Blood in front of Hoyt.)
Tara: No refunds on that, Hoyt.
(Hoyt picks up the bottle of Tru:Blood.)
Hoyt: It's... It's hot.
Tara: That's the way it's served: Ninety-eight point six.
(Tara walks to Jason, stops, and looks at him. Jason smiles at Tara. Tara walks away. Jason turns his head over his left shoulder, watching Tara walk away. Hoyt sips his Tru:Blood, wipes his mouth with his left hand, making a face.)
Hoyt: Ohhhhhh! That <snip> is nasty.
René: Yeah, what'd you expect? Is s'pose taste like blood.
(Jason is bouncing in his chair.)
Hoyt: I thought it was supposed to be some sort of life-force or somethin'.
Jason: Tru:Blood don't do nothin'. The real life-force... is V.
Hoyt: V?
René: Vampire blood. It's illegal.
(René puts a cigarette in his mouth and lights it.)
Jason: All our blood belongs to the universe. They take some from us, we take a little from them.
René: I just say no to drugs, merci.
(René puffs on his cigarette and drinks his beer.)
Jason(to Hoyt): It might give you the will to seal the deal with that girl.
(Randi Sue is standing where she was dancing earlier, looking at Hoyt.)
Jason (to Hoyt) Only thing holdin' you back...
(Jason snaps his fingers.)
Jason: ...is you.
(Hoyt makes a gun with his fingers and "shoots" at Jason. Jason and René raise a toast with their beers. Smiling, Hoyt lifts his bottle of Tru:Blood, kisses the bottom part of it, and joins in the toast, holding the bottle of Tru:Blood high in the air. Randi Sue's smile disappears, as does Hoyt's.)
Hoyt: Ah, <snip>!
(René and Jason double over laughing.)
SCENE 13: The Old Compton House. No lights are on. Crickets chirp as Bill walks up the front lawn. He looks at the porch of the house, and stops, and stares at the porch, now dimly lit by four lanterns. He sees his family, circa mid-1860's. His daughter rocks in a chair to her mother's left, who also rocks in a chair, holding her and Bill's son, who is no longer an infant.
Bill's son: Look.
Bill's Wife: What do you see there, son?
Bill continues to stare at the strange scene, until he is jolted back into reality by the Sheriff.
Sheriff Bud Dearborne (off-camera): Mr. Compton?
(Bill turns his head over his left shoulder, his family gone from the porch.)
Sheriff Bud Dearborne (off-camera): I'm Bud Dearborne...
(Sheriff Dearborne and Andy Bellefleur are standing behind Bill.)
Sheriff Bud Dearborne: ...Sheriff of Renard Parish. This here's Detective Andy Bellefleur.
Bill: Bellefleur?
(Bill looks at Andy Bellefleur oddly.)
Bill: What can I do for you gentlemen?
Andy Bellefleur: We'd like to ask you a few questions pertaining to an investigation, if you don't mind.
Bill: Of course. Won't you come on in?
Sheriff Bud Dearborne: In to the house?
(Bill turns and walks toward the house. Inside, Bill is stoking a fire in the fireplace in the parlor. Leaning against the right side of the fireplace is a strange, pronged implement. Bill stands up, turns around, and looks at the Sheriff and Andy Bellefleur, who stand in the front hall.)
Bill: Please, make yourselves at home.
(Bill smiles. The Sheriff and Andy Bellefleur slowly walk into the parlor, illuminated only by a few dimly-lit wall sconces and the fire in the fireplace.)
Bill: May I offer you a drink?
Sheriff Bud Dearborne: No, thank you.
Bill: I have Frescas.
Andy Bellefleur: You do?
Bill: For guests.
Andy Bellefleur: Well, I'll have a Fresca.
(Bill leaves to get the Fresca, and he Sheriff and Andy Bellefleur sit on the sofa.)
Sheriff Bud Dearborne (whispering): What the hell are you doin'?
Andy Bellefleur (whispering): He offered.
Sheriff Bud Dearborne (whispering): He's a suspect.
Andy Bellefleur (whispering): Maybe to you. We got no evidence.
Sheriff Bud Dearborne (whispering): He's a...
(Sheriff Dearborne makes a pair of fangs with his index fingers and holds them in front of his face.)
Sheriff Bud Dearborne (whispering more softly): ...vampire!
(Andy Bellefleur sighs, stands up, and walks to the fireplace. He looks up at the mantle, then down at the fireplace, and notices the strange, pronged implement. He picks it up and makes an expression of confusion with his face. The sound of a soft drink can being opened is heard. The Sheriff turns his head to the left, and sees Bill beside the sofa, opening a can of Fresca.)
Bill (looking at Andy Bellefleur): It's a toaster. For bread. You put the slices in the end and then you cook them over the hearth. I don't use it anymore, as I no longer eat.
(Andy Bellefleur returns the toaster to its place, walks to Bill, accepts the Fresca from him, and sits back down on the sofa. Bill sits in a chair near the sofa, crossing his left leg over his right.)
Bill: You said you had some questions for me.
Andy Bellefleur: We're investigating a couple of homicides that took place locally in the past week.
Bill: I've heard.
Andy Bellefleur: Were you familiar with either of the victims? Maudette Pickens or Dawn Green?
Bill: Miss Pickens, no, but Miss Green...I believe she worked over at Sam Merlotte's place. We never spoke, but I saw her.
Sheriff Bud Dearborne: Were you aware that both had sexual contact with vampires?
Bill: I was not. But it's more common than you would think.
Sheriff Bud Dearborne: You have anybody that can vouch for your whereabouts on the night of the 23rd and the 27th?
Bill: Tell me, Sheriff: were either of these unfortunate women exsanguinated when you found them?
(The Sheriff and Andy Bellefleur look somewhat confused.)
Bill: Drained of their blood? If you don't mind my askin'.
Andy Bellefleur: Uh...that's not information we're at liberty to share.
(Bill sighs.)
Bill: Because a fresh corpse...full of blood...Detective, that's something no vampire could resist. I dare say, not even I.
Andy Bellefleur: Good thing you weren't there.
Bill: And nor was any other vampire.
(Andy Bellefleur takes a sip of his Fresca.)
Bill: A vampire would have drained those girls of every last drop. How's your Fresca?
Andy Bellefleur: It's a little warm.
Bill: I apologize. (smiling) I don't own a refrigerator.
(Outside the Old Compton House, the Sheriff and Andy Bellefleur are walking to the police car parked in front.)
Andy Bellefleur: Oh, shoot. I think I forgot my pen.
Sheriff Bud Dearborne: Leave it.
(The Sheriff and Andy Bellefleur get into the police car as Bill watches them from the parlor window, taking off his suit jacket, and tossing it on the arm of the sofa. We hear the police car's engine starting, and the car driving away. Bill walks to the fireplace, picks up the toaster, and looks at it.)
Flashback to a night in 1865. Bill, rifle in hand, is breathing heavily. He climbs to the top of a hill and comes upon a small house and knocks on its door.
Bill: Is there anyone inside? I require help. (somewhat desperately) I'm a soldier of the 28th Louisiana Infantry. (more desperately) I require food and water. Is there anyone who can help me?
(The door of the house is cracked open, but is shut with either a rope or a leather strap [the scene does not make it clear which]. Bill takes out a large knife, cuts the rope (or leather strap), goes inside, and finds the barrel of a gun is pointed at his head.)
Lorena: Do not move. I will shoot you!
(Bill is in Lorena's house, sitting at a table, gulping water from a cup. Lorena is cooking food over the hearth, and brings some to Bill. Several candles and lanterns provide some light.)
Lorena: I wasn't... even aware we surrendered.
Bill: Word came two weeks ago. Yeah. We disbanded immediately. Most of the men marched back to Monroe, but I chose to take a shortcut home by...by way of these trails. I overestimated my knowledge of the land.
(Lorena returns to the hearth and kneels to pick up the toaster.)
Lorena: You're not far off.
(Lorena picks up the toaster, with a slice of bread between its prongs, and brings it to Bill.)
Lorena: A lake is 10 miles southwest of here...
(Bill snatches up the slice of toast from the prongs of the toaster.)
Lorena: ...Bon Temps is 10 miles south of that.
(Bill tears off a piece from the slice as Lorena returns to the hearth. Bill tears off a piece from the piece he tore off, and eats. In the light, we see blood on the right sleeve and left breast of his shirt. Lorena kneels in front of the hearth, and turns her head over her left shoulder.)
Lorena: My husband was in the 13th Infantry, under Colonel Gibson. He fought at Shiloh.
(Lorena stands up.)
Lorena: He used to write to me every few weeks, but I haven't heard from him in nearly seven months.
(Lorena places a basin on the table, next to Bill.)
Bill: Many of the postal routes have been disrupted. I'm sure your letter simply got lost.
(Lorena pours water from a blue pitcher into the basin.)
Lorena: That's kind of you. But I've considered myself a widow for some time now.
(Lorena dips a cloth into the water and kneels beside Bill to wash his face while he eats. Bill's face, though dirty, has a ruddy complexion, while Lorena appears quite pale.)
Lorena: Still have quite a lot of blood on you. You're a lucky man, lieutenant. I doubt you would've survived another day without food.
Bill: I'm in debt to you for taking pity on me.
Lorena: I think...for your sake...you best spend the night here...with me.
(Lorena tries to kiss Bill's lips, and for a moment, it seems as if he wants to kiss her, too. However, he stops.)
Bill: I'm sorry. I apologize if I misled you, but I have a wife and two small children waitin' for me. And if Bon Temps's as close as you say it is, then I'll see them soon, and I do not wish to sully our reunion.
(Bill wipes his mouth with a napkin.)
Lorena: You are an honorable man. The others have not always been so.
(Lorena stands up.)
Bill: There's been others?
Lorena: From time to time. Deserters, mostly. I offered them a crust of bread and a place to rest, and they help appease my loneliness. It may not be moral, lieutenant, but these are times of war.
(Lorena kneels and tries again to kiss Bill. He moves away from her, and stands up.)
Bill: I do not judge you. Your choices are your own, as are mine. I wish to continue on my way home. You have my gratitude for your hospitality. I will not soon forget it.
(Bill turns and walks in the opposite direction from Lorena. But, with lightning speed, she moves in front of Bill. Her mouth is open. And her fangs are exposed. She throws Bill to the floor, jumps on top of him, and bites him on the neck. Bill does not put up a fight. Later, Bill is in bed, dressed, motionless, his eyes closed. Lorena stands beside him, watching him. Bill's eyes open, and he sees a dead body, seemingly hung from a rope, dressed in a bloody shirt, its face pale, its eyes closed, its mouth open. Bill sees the face of another body, not as pale as the first, with dead eyes and its mouth twisted in agony. Bill stares in fright at Lorena.)
Bill: The others?
Lorena: They all presented themselves as gentlemen. Can blame the war if you like. They proved to be no more than savages once I let them into my home. They deserve no better.
Bill: Uhn...Have they all died?
Lorena: Oh, yes. But I'm not keen to let you go quite so easily.
(Lorena climbs on top of Bill, still motionless in the bed.)
Lorena: I've waited a long time for a man such as you.
(Lorena takes the blade of a knife and cuts the jugular vein on the right side of her neck, the blood dripping around Bill's mouth as he writhes in horror.)
Lorena(whispering): Drink! (in normal voice) If you do not drink, you will die. Certain as I'm speakin' to you right now. Do you wish to see your family again? Your wife? Your children?
(Bill licks some of the blood from around his mouth.)
Lorena: You must drink from me!
(Lorena presses the open wound on her neck to Bill's mouth, and he drinks desperately.)
Lorena: Take me in you! Feel me in you! We are together William, forever! You...are mine!
(Lorena smiles and exposes her fangs.)
(The Old Compton House. Crickets chirp as Bill walks up the front lawn. He looks at the porch of the house, and stops, and stares at the porch, dimly lit by four lanterns. He sees his family. His daughter rocks in a chair to her mother's left, who also rocks in a chair, holding her and Bill's son, who is no longer an infant..)
Bill's son: Look.
Bill's Wife: What do you see there, son?
(Bill watches silently. Lorena is behind him, and speaks to him coldly, and unsympathetically.)
Lorena: You know you can never enter. Do you wish to see them grow old? Grow feeble and die, while you remain the same year after year?
Bill: They are my family.
Lorena: They are as good as dead...if they are found harborin' a vampire.
Bill looks longingly at his wife, daughter, and son.
Lorena: I've brought you here, and now it's time for us to go.
(A tear of blood falls from Bill's right eye. Lorena strokes Bill's left shoulder, unmoved by the scene.)
Lorena: Come!
(Lorena turns and walks off into the distance. Bill remains for one last look at his family, then turns to join Lorena.)
(In the present, Bill is still holding the toaster by his fireplace. Angrily, he swings it like a baseball bat against the andirons a few times. Holding it up, he sees the toaster is still intact, still unharmed. Bill swings it twice more against the andirons.)
SCENE 14: Behind Merlotte's. Tara is taking a bag of garbage to the Dumpster when she hears people having s*x on the other side of the Dumpster. Instead of putting the garbage in the Dumpster, Tara takes it with her as she walks to the other side, and sees Jason having s*x with Randi Sue. Both are still clothed.
Tara: You gotta be kiddin' me!
(Jason continues going after Randi Sue.)
Jason: Uh...hey! Hey Tara! This is Randi Sue. Oh...come...join us! It's beautiful!
(Jason, still going at it with Randi Sue, reaches out with open arms to Tara, who instead empties the bag of garbage on Jason and Randi Sue, and walks away.)
Tara (yelling): <snip> you, Stackhouse!
Randi Sue (to Tara, yelling): Bitch! Don't <snip> with my hair! (to Jason, yelling): Don't you dare stop!
(Jason and Randi Sue continue making love in the garbage.)
SCENE 15: A dark blue taxi with a yellow top drives up. In white letters below the right passenger-side window is "RADIO DISPATCHED", and in a larger font below that, "KC-579". In smaller text, in Brush Script font, is "Service Anywhere". Sookie is inside the taxi, paying the driver. She exits, and walks into the Stackhouse home from the back covered porch, where she removes her shoes. She then opens the door to the kitchen, puts her shoes and purse down, and slips on the floor, but does not fall. We can hear Tina, Sookie's pet cat, meowing. Sookie turns on the lights, looks down, and sees blood on the kitchen floor. Sookie turns her head and sees Gran lying in a large pool of blood.
Plan: A: Bill's car; Q: What vehicle arrives outside Sookie's house? A: Bill; Q: Who confesses to Sookie that he would have fed on the police officer? A: Sookie; Q: Who finds her Gran dead in the kitchen? A: an argument; Q: What does Bill and Sookie have when he arrives at her house? A: the police; Q: Who did Tara lie to in order to give Jason an alibi for Dawn's murder? A: her problem; Q: What does Sookie ask her gran about? A: Adele; Q: Who tells Sookie not to be afraid of Bill? A: Lafayette; Q: Who convinces Jason to try vamp blood? A: V-juice; Q: What did Lafayette sell to Jason? A: Jason; Q: Who is having sex with Randi Sue? A: Sam; Q: Who asks Sookie to go to the Descendants of the Glorious Dead meeting? A: his opportunity; Q: What does Sam seize with Sookie? A: Her suspicions; Q: What does Sookie have about Tara and her brother? A: a large crowd; Q: Who is at the D.O.G.D. meeting? A: rednecks; Q: What are Chuck, Wayne and Royce? A: Royce; Q: Who sent back a burger at Merlotte's that had AIDS? A: trouble; Q: What are the rednecks stirring up at the church? A: the Civil War; Q: When did Bill lose his friend Tolliver Humphries? A: powerful emotions; Q: What does the Mayor of Bon Temps's gift to Bill stir in him? A: coffee; Q: What do Sookie and Sam go out for after the meeting? A: vampires; Q: What does Sam think Bill is dangerous for? A: a rage; Q: What does Lafayette fly into when Royce sends back a burger? A: the man's face; Q: What does Lafayette slam the burger into? A: Hoyt; Q: Who fails to pick up a girl named Randi Sue? A: A very-stoned Jason; Q: Who professes his deep love for Tara? A: his house; Q: Where does Sheriff Bud Dearborne and Andy visit Bill? A: the murders; Q: What does Sheriff Bud Dearborne and Andy question Bill about? A: human blood; Q: What does Bill believe a vampire could not resist a body full of? A: the victims; Q: Who was not exsanguinated? A: the murderer; Q: Who was not a vampire? A: a vampire; Q: What was Bill turned into by Lorena? A: his old life; Q: What does Lorena tell Bill is over? A: a cab; Q: How does Sookie get home from her date with Sam? A: the kitchen floor; Q: Where does Sookie find her Gran? A: her own blood; Q: What is in the pool of blood that Sookie finds her Gran in? Summary: Bill's car arrives outside Sookie's house, and the two have an argument about their encounter with the police officer and Bill confesses that, had she not been there, he would have fed on the officer. Bill promises to never call her again and leaves. Sookie asks her gran about her problem and Adele suggests that she not be afraid or suspicious of him just because he is different. Tara is furious at Lafayette for selling V-juice to Jason and makes him promise to apologize. When Jason stops by, however, Lafayette convinces him to give vamp blood another try and instructs him on how to take it properly. At Merlotte's, Sam seizes his opportunity with Sookie and asks her to go with him to the Descendents of the Glorious Dead meeting and she agrees. Her suspicions about Tara and her brother are also raised when she learns that Tara lied to the police in order to give Jason an alibi for Dawn's murder. That night at the D.O.G.D. meeting, a large crowd has gathered at the church to hear Bill's speech. Among them are three rednecks named Chuck, Wayne and Royce, who are stirring up some trouble. Adele introduces Bill and he recounts the story about the loss of his friend Tolliver Humphries during the Civil War. The Mayor of Bon Temps presents Bill with a photograph of his long-lost wife and children, which stirs powerful emotions in Bill. After the meeting, Sookie and Sam go out for coffee. Everything is going well until the conversation turns to vampires and Sam insists that Bill is dangerous, no matter how she feels about him. At Merlotte's, the trio of rednecks continue to stir up trouble when Royce sends back a burger, saying it has AIDS. This causes Lafayette to fly into a rage and slams the burger in the man's face. Jason, Rene and Hoyt are dining not far away and Hoyt fails to pick up a girl named Randi Sue. A very-stoned Jason professes his deep love for Tara, who is smart enough to wait until he is sober for this conversation. Bill is paid a visit at his house by Sheriff Bud Dearborne and Andy, who question him about the murders. Bill insists that no vampire could resist a body full of human blood, and since the victims were not exsanguinated, the murderer could not be a vampire. After they leave, Bill remembers how he was turned into a vampire by a woman named Lorena as he was making his way home to his family. She allows him to see them one last time from a distance, but assures him that his old life is over. Tara catches Jason having sex with Randi Sue in the alley behind Merlotte's, which infuriates her. Sookie takes a cab home from her dismal date with Sam and finds her Gran lying on the kitchen floor, dead and in a pool of her own blood.