THE TALONS OF WENG-CHIANG
BY: ROBERT HOLMES
Part Two
Running time: 24:26
[SCENE_BREAK]
DOCTOR: Out! Out!
[SCENE_BREAK]
LEELA: We might have been killed!
DOCTOR: It's ten feet from whiskers to tail.
LEELA: We should have taken weapons.
DOCTOR: What kind of weapons? You'd need a harpoon to stop that brute.
LEELA: Shall we tell the blue guards?
DOCTOR: They'd only call a Sanitary Inspector. It's a guard. It's there to keep people away.
LEELA: What? Now where are we going?
[SCENE_BREAK]
CASEY: Ah, it's black as Newgate's knocker down here. It's over this way, Mister Jago.
JAGO: Flickering shadows, Casey. Trick of the light.
CASEY: Shadows don't groan, Mister Jago. Shadows don't clank chains and moan like all the demented souls in hell.
JAGO: There's your ghost. Six-gun Sadie and her Wild West troupe left that behind. All lumber sheet and ninepence, that's what you saw.
CASEY: It weren't that old thing. Anyway, I heard it.
JAGO: Ah, Casey, you're a pixilated leprechaun. The course of the river Fleet runs right under the foundations of this old theatre.
JAGO: What you heard was a clang and the rush of water as they closed the sluice gates down on the Thames.
CASEY: Ah, it's easy for you to cast aspersions, Mister Jago. You weren't down here.
JAGO: Somebody else has been down here by the look of things. Have you got an admirer, Casey?
CASEY: A glove, is it?
JAGO: Yes, a lady's glove, monogrammed EB. Perhaps the ghost dropped it, eh? Come on, we've had enough of your spook.
[SCENE_BREAK]
DOCTOR: No plan of the sewers?
KYLE: We don't keep plans of sewers here, sir, but as far as I know, they all connect to the Fleet and then down to the river. But if you've got any information, sir?
DOCTOR: At the moment, Sergeant, we're looking for information ourselves.
KYLE: Professor Litefoot left a message for you, sir.
DOCTOR: Did he?
KYLE: It says he'd like to see you at the mortuary straight away.
DOCTOR: It does.
KYLE: He's still there, sir. We found another body outside after you'd gone.
DOCTOR: What?
KYLE: Another Chinese, sir, just outside.
DOCTOR: Very convenient.
KYLE: Very mysterious, sir. You wouldn't know anything about it, I suppose?
LEELA: Of course we do. I was rescuing the Doctor
DOCTOR: Come on, Leela!
[SCENE_BREAK]
JAGO: Go on home with you, Casey. Straight home. You might get mistaken for one of those girls.
CASEY: Aren't you coming, Mister Jago?
JAGO: Not yet. Some paperwork commands my presence yet awhile, but I shall doubtless descry those lugubrious liniments at the crepuscular hour.
CASEY: Eh?
JAGO: See you in the morning.
CASEY: You're a card, Mister Jago. A card and a half.
JAGO: Jiminy, you made me jump. I thought you'd gone, Mister Chang.
CHANG: No, Mister Jago, I have come back to see you.
JAGO: See me, Mister Chang? Nothing wrong, I hope?
CHANG: Be so kind as to step up to my dressing room, and I will explain.
[SCENE_BREAK]
JAGO: If it's the terms of our contract, we've been attracting such good houses lately I've already considered drawing up a fresh agreement. The terms I have in mind as such I venture no other management in London would offer an artiste. What would you say to an extra two percent, Mister Chang? Of the gross, naturally. I think you'll agree that's fair.
CHANG: Now hear me, Jago. You remember the cab driver, Buller, who came to see me tonight?
JAGO: Cab driver. Yes.
CHANG: I want you to forget him, understand? You did not see him.
JAGO: I did not see him.
CHANG: Good. Now you will go from here to your office. When you sit down at your desk, you will remember only that you have just said goodnight to Casey. Is that clear?
JAGO: I have just said goodnight to Casey.
CHANG: Excellent. Now, go.
[SCENE_BREAK]
WENG: You are late.
CHANG: We should not go tonight, Lord.
WENG: I must, every night until the time cabinet is found.)
CHANG: You are ill.
WENG: I am dying, Chang. You must bring another linnet to my cage.
CHANG: But only yesterday
WENG: The disease grows worse. Each distillation lasts less than the time before.
CHANG: And with every girl reported missing, panic increases. I fear one of them will be traced here.
WENG: You must be careful.
CHANG: Careful as I am, Lord, there is always risk of discovery. Even tonight I acted quickly to keep our secret. A man was on his way to police.
WENG: Bah. Those dumb-witted oxen. Chang, I have given you mental powers undreamt of in this century. You are thousands of years ahead of your time. What can you fear from these primitives?
CHANG: True, Lord, I read their minds with ease, but tonight there was a stranger, a man whose thoughts were hidden. A man different from all others.
WENG: Describe him.
CHANG: He is a doctor. Tall with wide pale eyes and hair that curls like the ram. He ask many questions.
WENG: A time agent would not ask questions. A time agent would know.
CHANG: But I fear danger, Lord, and have sent a man to kill him.
WENG: Your opium-addicted scum are all bunglers, Chang. You should have seen to it yourself.
CHANG: If he troubles us further, Lord, I will deal with him personally.
WENG: Very well. We're wasting time. Come.
[SCENE_BREAK]
LITEFOOT: I've taken some of the organs for further tests, but I must confess to being beaten.
DOCTOR: Beaten?
LITEFOOT: They were both poisoned, of course. One orally, the other intravenously. I understand you suggested scorpion venom?
DOCTOR: Yes, in concentrated form.
LITEFOOT: I'd like to hear more about that. You're in this line, I take it?
DOCTOR: I've dabbled a bit. Dilettante.
LITEFOOT: Surely more than that. I got a zoologist colleague to look at our last cadaver. It seems he thinks it's the work of a rat, too. What an amazing night it's been.
LEELA: It is not over yet.
LITEFOOT: It's been jolly interesting, wouldn't you say? Most of the corpses around here are jolly dull. Now I've got a couple of inscrutable Chinks and a poor perisher who was chewed by a giant rat, having been stabbed by a midget.
DOCTOR: A midget?
LITEFOOT: Angle of the wound. Oh, upon my soul. I'm sure we shouldn't be discussing such things in front of the fair s*x. Forgive us, ma'am.
LEELA: What for?
LITEFOOT: For being so indelicate in the presence of a lady of refinement.
LEELA: Does he mean me?
DOCTOR: I don't think so.
LEELA: It's very interesting. You say you can tell the height of the attacker by the way the blade was thrust? But when aiming for the heart, we were always taught to strike under the breastbone.
LITEFOOT: Upon my soul!
DOCTOR: Savage. Found floating down the Amazon in a hat box.
LITEFOOT: A hat box?
QUICK: Professor, still here? I've traced our cab driver. Name of Joseph Buller, 14 Fish Lane, this parish.
LITEFOOT: Oh, splendid. You can let the coroner have all the details, then. Is there someone to identify the clothing?
QUICK: His mother in law, Mrs Nellie Gusset. Same address. Deceased has lived there since his marriage six month ago.
DOCTOR: Anything else?
QUICK: Sir?
DOCTOR: Well, you had a few drinks with Mrs Gusset. Did she tell you anything further about the deceased?
QUICK: A bearer of sad tidings, sir. I shared a glass or two while the poor thing got over the shock. Yes, well, she did mention the deceased had been in a queer state all day.
DOCTOR: Why?
QUICK: Well, it seems his wife, that's Emma Buller, daughter of the house, didn't come home last night. Deceased refused to take his cab out today as a consequence. Deceased then had several drinks and went round the Palace Theatre.
LITEFOOT: The theatre?
QUICK: Oh, not on pleasure bent, sir. It seems he believed that's where his wife was to be found. Mrs Gusset says he went off making horrible asseverations as to his intentions.
LITEFOOT: Yes, well, er, put as much in that report as you think will concern the coroner, officer. It's quite clear the man got stupidly drunk and picked a fight with a dwarf.
QUICK: Yes, sir.
LITEFOOT: A night's work like that always does wonders for my appetite. I'd be honoured if you'd share some supper with me.
DOCTOR: I'd be delighted, Professor.
[SCENE_BREAK]
LITEFOOT: Of course, the police will have the Buller case cleared up in no time, but the Chinese, different kettle of fish, what?
LEELA: Why are you making fire in your mouth?
LITEFOOT: Why am I? Upon my sam. Hasn't the girl seen a pipe before?
DOCTOR: There's no tobacco where Leela comes from.
LITEFOOT: Sounds healthy, but exceedingly dull. Yes, as I was saying, they're a mysterious lot, the Chinese. Enigmatic. I never got anywhere near to understanding them, and I was brought up in China.
DOCTOR: Really? What were you doing there?
LITEFOOT: My father was Brigadier General in the punitive expedition of 1860. Afterwards he stayed in Peking as a palace attaché. Died there in the end, poor old buffer. Fireworks at the funeral. Odd custom. Odd sort of people.
LITEFOOT: What's up?
DOCTOR: They use fireworks to frighten off evil spirits.
LITEFOOT: I know that. Where are you going?
DOCTOR: You stay with Litefoot. I'll join you later. Drive on, cabbie.
LITEFOOT: Where are you going?
DOCTOR: Palace theatre.
LITEFOOT: There'll be nobody there at this hour!
LITEFOOT: Extraordinary. I say, how can he join us later? I haven't given him m'card.
LEELA: Four Ranskill Gardens. He heard you tell the driver.
LITEFOOT: Gad, he's as sharp as a trout.
LEELA: Trout?
[SCENE_BREAK]
JAGO: All right. Coming!
JAGO: Yes?
DOCTOR: Terrible weather for the time of the year.
JAGO: The theatre's closed.
DOCTOR: Shush.
JAGO: What do you want?
DOCTOR: Are you the manager?
JAGO: I'm the owner, sir. Henry Gordon Jago at the end of a long day, so if you'd kindly state your business.
DOCTOR: Henry Gordon Jago, how do you do, sir. I'm the Doctor.
JAGO: Doctor?
DOCTOR: Exactly.
JAGO: Ah, now I've rumbled your game. I admire your brass, but it won't do. Call back on Saturday.
DOCTOR: Don't move. Hold that.
JAGO: Auditions commence at ten o'clock sharp. Supporting acts booked for one week only.
JAGO: Is that all?
DOCTOR: No. Dramatic recitations, singing, tap-dancing. I can play the Trumpet Voluntary in a bowl of live goldfish.
JAGO: Don't bother coming back on Saturday.
DOCTOR: I'm also a master hypnotist. Now then.
DOCTOR: How long since you were under the influence, sir?
JAGO: I'm a man of character and determination, sir. The Rock of Gibraltar would be more easily, more easily.
DOCTOR: Just as I thought, and quite recently, too. What was your last order?
JAGO: To remember nothing since I said goodnight to Casey.
DOCTOR: Henry Gordon Jago, I command you to remember everything you were ordered to forget. When I count to three, you will remember everything. One, two, three.
JAGO: More easily influenced than I would. I have a will of iron. What the Dickens am I talking about?
DOCTOR: Did a cab driver come here tonight?
JAGO: Yes, there was a fellow burst in and accosted Mister Chang between shows.
DOCTOR: What did he want?
JAGO: Something about his Emma. Lady friends, no doubt.
DOCTOR: Emma Buller, his wife. She disappeared last night. Does Mister Chang by any chance do a vanishing lady act?
JAGO: You're not by any chance suggesting that Mister Chang has anything to do with these missing
DOCTOR: What is it?
JAGO: Emma Buller.
DOCTOR: EB. Where did you find this?
JAGO: In the cellar. Are you from the police?
DOCTOR: I'm helping them. I'd like to see this cellar, Mister Jago.
[SCENE_BREAK]
WENG: You are certain these are different streets?
CHANG: The driver has his orders. Every night we quarter a new sector.
WENG: For how much longer?
CHANG: Patience, Lord. We know the time cabinet is here. The cabinet of Weng-Chiang in the house of an infidel. We shall recover it.
WENG: I grow weary, Chang.
CHANG: Tomorrow I bring you two donors. Young, plump, high-spirited girls. The distillation of their life essences will recover your powers, Lord.
[SCENE_BREAK]
JAGO: It was over here. Here, this is where it was, down here.
DOCTOR: What were you doing down here?
JAGO: I was reassuring Casey
DOCTOR: Who?
JAGO: My factotum. He's taken to seeing ghosts lately. He's a good fellow, Casey, but about as sharp as the corners of a round table. Great Jumping Jehosophat! What a spider! That must be the granddaddy of them all.
DOCTOR: It's a money spider.
JAGO: A money spider?
DOCTOR: Yes.
JAGO: Don't kill it.
DOCTOR: Genetic disruption. Where does it come from? What's under here?
JAGO: You mean right where we're standing?
DOCTOR: Yes.
JAGO: Well, they say the course of the River Fleet runs right
DOCTOR: Fleet?
JAGO: Yes, the River Fleet runs right under these foundations.
DOCTOR: Excellent. We're getting somewhere.
[SCENE_BREAK]
LITEFOOT: Ah, now, let's see what we have here. Mrs Hudson always leaves me a cold collation.
LITEFOOT: Ham, roast beef, chicken, tongue. Those look like quail, unless I'm much mistaken.
LEELA: Meat.
LITEFOOT: Yes, well, perhaps we shouldn't wait for your friend the Doctor. Help yourself, my dear. Plates on the end of the table. I'll, er, I'll just put a log or two on the fire.
LEELA: It's good.
LITEFOOT: Oh, I'm so glad.
LEELA: Is something wrong?
LITEFOOT: No, no. Would you care for a knife or a fork?
LEELA: It's a good knife. Aren't you going to eat?
LITEFOOT: Yes, yes.
LITEFOOT: Just going to eat.
[SCENE_BREAK]
WENG: Stop! Stop! Somewhere here. Somewhere! One of these dwellings!
[SCENE_BREAK]
WENG: This is the place, Chang. The time cabinet is in there.
CHANG: Leave the rest to your servants, Lord. Go back to your abode.
WENG: I must have the time (coughs) cabinet.
CHANG: Lord, your weakness grows. Go, go back. Rest. I will bring the cabinet to you.
WENG: Very well, but do not fail me now, Chang.
[SCENE_BREAK]
DOCTOR: Well, if there is a secret entrance, it's expertly hidden.
DOCTOR: How very interesting.
DOCTOR: Do you know what this is? Oh, come on, Rock of Gibraltar.
[SCENE_BREAK]
LITEFOOT: Napkin.
LEELA: Thank you, Professor.
LITEFOOT: The Doctor's taking a long time. I hope he did note the address.
LITEFOOT: Great Scott!
LEELA: What is it?
LITEFOOT: There's somebody out there watching the house.
LEELA: Where?
LITEFOOT: Someone stepped back into the shrubbery as I looked out.
LITEFOOT: Some scoundrel up to no good. Odd thing. I could swear he was a Chinese. Well, whoever he is, I'll give him more than he expected. No, you wait here.
[SCENE_BREAK]
DOCTOR: How are you feeling?
JAGO: The ghost! I saw it. Casey, forgive me.
DOCTOR: No.
JAGO: I saw it.
DOCTOR: It was a hologram.
JAGO: I always thought there was something unnatural about that cellar.
DOCTOR: There's nothing unnatural about the holograph technique. Projection of light by a laser beam.
JAGO: What?
DOCTOR: Don't worry. It wasn't known in this century.
DOCTOR: Drink this. Go on, you'll feel better.
JAGO: What's that?
DOCTOR: Shush.
[SCENE_BREAK]
JAGO: Oh, oh Doctor.
DOCTOR: Cheer up, Jago, cheer up.
[SCENE_BREAK]
DOCTOR: He's gone back to his rats. Are you all right.
JAGO: Yes, I think so. Who the devil was it?
DOCTOR: I've no idea. He didn't introduce himself.
JAGO: Shall I call in the local police?
DOCTOR: Oh, Henry Gordon Jago. Then our reclusive phantom would simply vanish, poof!
JAGO: Oh, good heavens, yes.
DOCTOR: We can tackle it together, you and I.
JAGO: What are you going to do?
DOCTOR: Think. I'm going to have some supper.
JAGO: Ah.
[SCENE_BREAK]
LITEFOOT (OOV.): Nobody out there now. Fellow must have got wind of
LEELA: Professor? Are you there? Professor!
Plan: A: the vicious giant rat; Q: What creature did the Doctor and Leela escape from in the sewers? A: Litefoot; Q: Who did the Doctor and Leela team up with? A: Chiang; Q: Whose lair is the Doctor and Jago searching for? A: the time cabinet; Q: What do Chang, Mr Sin and Weng-Chiang go in search of? Summary: After escaping from the vicious giant rat in the sewers, the Doctor & Leela team up with Litefoot. Chang, Mr Sin and Weng-Chiang go in search of the time cabinet, while the Doctor and Jago go in search of Chiang's lair.