ROBOT
By: Terrance Dicks
First Air Date: 28 December 1974
Running time: 24:11
[SCENE_BREAK]
BRIGADIER: Now, just a minute.
SARAH: Look, Brigadier! Look! I think it's started.
BRIGADIER: All right, here we go again. (On the phone.) Get me the medical officer. Lieutenant Sullivan, emergency. Come to the lab at once, please.
DOCTOR: ...human history.
BRIGADIER: What's he talking about?
SARAH: It's something that happened when we first met.
DOCTOR: I tell you, Brigadier, there's nothing to worry about. The brontosaurus is large and placid.
HARRY SULLIVAN: This the patient, sir?
DOCTOR: And stupid. The square on the hypotenuse equals the sum of the square on the other two sides. Why is a mouse when it spins? Never did know the answer to that one.
BENTON: Excuse me, sir. The daily reports.
HARRY: Take him to the sick bay, I'll make a proper examination there.
BENTON: (To the BRIGADIER.) What's happening, sir? Who's...
BRIGADIER: That, Mr. Benton, is the Doctor.
BENTON: You mean he's done it again? He's changed?
BRIGADIER: Apparently. Saw it happen this time. Lieutenant Sullivan?
HARRY: Yes, sir.
BRIGADIER: I'm placing the Doctor in your personal charge. He is to have your full attention.
HARRY: Right-o, sir.
BRIGADIER: Right. Anything urgent, Mr. Benton?
BENTON: No, sir, just routine.
BRIGADIER: Yes, everything seems pretty quiet.
[SCENE_BREAK]
BRIGADIER (On the radio.): The complete set of plans for the new disintegrator gun.
[SCENE_BREAK]
SARAH: Stolen? Who by?
BRIGADIER: No one saw them. Probably enemy agents. Small commando squad. They found heavy vehicle tracks. You realize, of course, Miss Smith, all this is top secret?
SARAH: Then why are you telling me?
BRIGADIER: Well, because... Because there's no one else I can tell.
SARAH: The Doctor's still unconscious? Oh, he'll be all right. I know he will.
BRIGADIER: He used to drive me mad, but I miss having him about. He'd have been interested in this robbery, there are some very strange features.
BRIGADIER: Actually, I want to ask a favour.
SARAH: Yes, of course.
BRIGADIER: You know Thinktank, the Frontiers of Science research place? All the latest in everything under one roof?
BRIGADIER: Yes, what about it?
SARAH: Well, now and again, exceptionally favoured journalists are allowed to visit it and, well, for ages now, I have been dying...
BRIGADIER: You want me to get you a visitors' pass?
SARAH: Ooh, please.
BRIGADIER: Nothing simpler. Come to my office and I'll fix it straightaway.
SARAH: And could I see the Doctor before I go?
BRIGADIER: Yes, of course.
SARAH: You're sure you've got the right man to look after him?
BRIGADIER: Young Sullivan? Oh, he's a very fine chap, first-class doctor.
SARAH: Seems a bit old-fashioned.
[SCENE_BREAK]
BRIGADIER: Nothing wrong with that, Miss Smith. You may not have noticed, but I'm a bit old-fashioned myself.
SARAH: Oh, nonsense, Brigadier. You're a swinger.
[SCENE_BREAK]
DOCTOR: Key. Key, key, key, key. Key, key. Yes, of course, obvious place.
HARRY: There you are. Now, come along, Doctor, you're supposed to be in the sick bay.
DOCTOR: Am I?
HARRY: Mmm-hmm.
DOCTOR: Don't you mean the infirmary?
HARRY: No, I do not mean the infirmary, I mean the sick bay. You're not fit yet.
DOCTOR: Not fit? But I'm the Doctor.
HARRY: No, Doctor, I'm the doctor and I say that you're not fit.
DOCTOR: You may be a doctor, but I am the Doctor. The definite article, you might say.
HARRY: Look here, Doctor, you're not fit...
DOCTOR: Not fit! Not fit! Of course I'm fit. All systems go!
HARRY: I say. Well, look...
DOCTOR: Heartsbeat?
HARRY: I say, I don't think that can be right.
DOCTOR: Both a bit fast, are they?
HARRY: Well, I...
DOCTOR: Still, must be patient. A new body is like a new house, takes a little bit of time to settle in. As for the physiognomy... Well, nothing's perfect. Have to take the rough with the smooth. Mind you, I think the nose is a definite improvement. As for the ears... Well, I'm not too sure. Tell me, quite frankly, what do you say to the ears?
HARRY: I really don't know.
DOCTOR: Well, of course you don't. Why should you? You're a busy man. You don't want to stand here burbling about my ears. Neither here nor there. I can't waste any more time. Things to do, places to go. I'm a busy man, too, you know. Thank you for a most interesting conversation. Must be on my way.
HARRY: There is absolutely no question of you leaving, Doctor. Now, you go back to the infirmary... I mean, the sick bay, get into bed and stay there until I say that you can get up.
DOCTOR: How can I prove my point?
HARRY: I... I feel I ought to warn you, Doctor, that there's grave danger of myocardial infarction, not to speak of pulmonary embolism. Yes, I should, I should...
DOCTOR: Mother, Mother... # I feel sick # Send for the doctor # Quick, quick, quick # Mother, dear, shall I die? # Yes, my darling, by and by # One, two, three, four... #
[SCENE_BREAK]
BRIGADIER: There's only one place he can be.
SARAH: I thought you said Doctor Sullivan was looking after him?
BRIGADIER: He's supposed to be.
[SCENE_BREAK]
SARAH: Cupboard. What are you doing down there? Where's the Doctor?
HARRY: Tied me up and hung me in here like a pair of old boots.
BRIGADIER: Where is he? Ah, too late.
SARAH: No, Doctor, wait! Doctor, listen. Please, it's Sarah. Doctor...
DOCTOR: Hello. Come to see me off, have you? Well, I hate goodbyes. I'll just slip away quietly.
SARAH: No, Doctor, you can't go!
DOCTOR: Can't? Can't? There's no such word as "Can't"!
SARAH: Oh!
DOCTOR: Why not?
SARAH: Well, because you're not... Well, because the Brigadier needs you. Don't you, Brigadier?
BRIGADIER: What? Oh, yes, of course, depending on you.
DOCTOR: What for?
SARAH: There's been this robbery, hasn't there, Brigadier? Some kind of secret weapon.
BRIGADIER: Ah, yes. Very serious business.
SARAH: I mean, you are still UNIT's scientific advisor. Remember? Well, you can't go rushing off and leave them in the lurch.
DOCTOR: Can't I? Goodbye.
HARRY: Excuse me, sir.
BRIGADIER: What?
HARRY: Could you oblige?
BRIGADIER (On the radio.): Oh, yes.
HARRY (OOV.): Thank you.
DOCTOR: Excuse me.
BRIGADIER (On the radio.): What?
DOCTOR: Haven't we met somewhere before? No, don't tell me. Alexander the Great?
BRIGADIER: No.
DOCTOR: Hannibal?
BRIGADIER: No.
DOCTOR: Ah! Brigadier. Brigadier Alastair Gordon Lethbridge Stewart. How are you?
BRIGADIER: Very well, thank you.
DOCTOR: And Sarah Jane! Well, now, isn't this... What was that you said about a secret weapon?
[SCENE_BREAK]
BRIGADIER: Doctor, there's been another... Where is he?
HARRY: In there.
BRIGADIER: He promised he'd...
DOCTOR (OOV.): I'm here.
BRIGADIER: Doctor, we must get moving...
DOCTOR: Is something wrong?
BRIGADIER: You've changed.
DOCTOR: Oh, no, not again.
BRIGADIER: No, no, I didn't mean your face, I meant your clothes.
DOCTOR: Don't you like them?
BRIGADIER: UNIT is supposed to be a security organization.
DOCTOR: Do you think I might attract attention?
BRIGADIER: It's just possible.
DOCTOR: One moment.
DOCTOR: No?
BRIGADIER (On the radio.): No.
DOCTOR: How about this?
BRIGADIER: Much better, Doctor. Now, if you've quite finished with your wardrobe...
DOCTOR: I'll try again if you like.
BRIGADIER: No, let's settle for that, please.
DOCTOR: Time we were off.
BRIGADIER: Off?
DOCTOR: To visit the scene of the crime.
BRIGADIER: The thing is, there's been another robbery!
DOCTOR: Tell me on the way, Brigadier. Tell me on the way. You must cultivate a sense of urgency.
[SCENE_BREAK]
BRIGADIER: Millions of volts running through the wretched thing. And for all the good it was, it might just... Doctor? Doctor, will you please pay attention?
DOCTOR: Oh, but I am, I assure you. Look.
BRIGADIER: Doctor, I have every respect for your concern for ecology, but, really, one squashed dandelion...
DOCTOR: Not just squashed, flattened. Almost pulverized. Now, how did it get like that?
HARRY: Well, I suppose it was stepped on.
DOCTOR: Exactly. And according to my estimation of the resistance to pressure of vegetable fiber, it was stepped on by something that weighed a quarter of a ton.
[SCENE_BREAK]
BRIGADIER: Funny thing is, they left a lot of valuable and top secret stuff behind. Here's a list of all they actually took.
DOCTOR: Just what you need for the control circuitry of one powerful, compact technological device. A disintegrator gun, for instance?
BRIGADIER: What do you know about that?
[SCENE_BREAK]
GUARD: Yes, miss?
[SCENE_BREAK]
ARNOLD JELLICOE: That journalist girl is arriving, the one with a UNIT pass. Something of a nuisance at the present moment in time.
HILDA WINTERS: We shall treat Miss Smith exactly as any other visitor.
JELLICOE: I suppose so. I suppose so.
SARAH: Hello. You know, it's awfully good of you to allow this visit, Director.
HILDA WINTERS: I hadn't expected male chauvinist attitudes from you, Miss Smith.
SARAH: I'm sorry?
WINTERS: I'm the Director, Hilda Winters. This is Arnold Jellicoe, my assistant.
[SCENE_BREAK]
BRIGADIER: So, what are we looking for?
DOCTOR: Something that brushes aside chains and electric fences like cobwebs. Something intelligent that takes only what it needs and leaves the rest. Something that kills a man as casually as it crushes a dandelion.
BRIGADIER: And what sort of something? Is it human?
DOCTOR: I doubt it, Brigadier. More than human, perhaps.
BRIGADIER: Well, whatever it is, how do we find it?
DOCTOR: By locking the next stable door in good time.
BRIGADIER: Huh?
DOCTOR: It, whatever "it" may be, has stolen the plans for the new disintegrator gun. It has also in its possession the necessary control circuitry.
HARRY: Do you think it wants to build the gun?
DOCTOR: Why else steal the plans and the circuitry? Now, assuming I'm right, and I invariably am, what is the third vital ingredient?
BRIGADIER: The focusing generator.
DOCTOR: Exactly, Brigadier. Exactly.
BRIGADIER (On the radio.): Greyhound Leader to Trap One, over.
BENTON (OOV.): Trap One. We read you, Greyhound Leader. Over.
BRIGADIER: Mr. Benton, red priority. Emmett's Electronics, a smallish factory in Essex, I want blanket security, every available man. Air cover as well. I'll meet you there in... in one hour. By then, I want that place better guarded that Fort Knox. Out.
[SCENE_BREAK]
JELLICOE: As you've seen, we do most of what's called "frontiers of science" research here.
WINTERS: As soon as our work reaches a practical stage, it's handed over to someone. Someone with more resources and a bigger budget.
JELLICOE: Usually the government.
SARAH: Well, like the new disintegrator gun? Well, you pioneered the research on that, didn't you?
WINTERS: Well, yes. I'm not sure you should know about that.
SARAH: Whoops, sorry. Talking out of turn.
SARAH: What's in here?
[SCENE_BREAK]
JELLICOE: There's nothing here. Nothing at all.
WINTERS: As you can see, it's empty.
SARAH: "J.P. Kettlewell, Robotics Section." He left some time ago, didn't he? That's right. There was all that fuss about it in the press.
WINTERS: Yes, indeed there was. As you probably heard, he turned against conventional science altogether.
JELLICOE: He spends his time on alternative technology, whatever that may mean.
SARAH: Well, what's through there?
JELLICOE: His storeroom. Professor Kettlewell left some valuable equipment. We're keeping it till he deigns to come collect it.
SARAH: Oh, I see. Ooh, funny, musty sort of...
WINTERS: Are you all right?
SARAH: Just about. Thank you.
WINTERS: Well, let's be on our way, Miss Smith. There's still quite a lot to see, you know.
SARAH: Oh, yes, of course. Thank you.
[SCENE_BREAK]
BRIGADIER (On the radio.): I tell you, Doctor, I've got the whole place covered. Armed patrols have every inch of the perimeter under observation. Helicopter patrols overhead. Inside that factory is a vault. Not a safe, Doctor, a vault. There's a sentry outside it.
[SCENE_BREAK]
BRIGADIER ((On the radio.)): Inside the vault there's a casket. A metal casket containing every focusing generator in the place.
[SCENE_BREAK]
BRIGADIER: Believe me, Doctor, the place is impregnable.
DOCTOR: Never cared much for the word "impregnable". Sounds a bit too much like "unsinkable".
HARRY: What's wrong with "unsinkable"?
DOCTOR: Nothing. As the iceberg said to the Titanic.
HARRY: What?
DOCTOR: (Makes the noise of the Titanic sinking.)
BENTON: All patrols posted, sir.
BRIGADIER: Everything secure?
BENTON: Yes, sir. The lads are so close together they're standing on each others' feet.
BRIGADIER: Good.
BRIGADIER: See, Doctor, not even a rat could get through that cordon. Protected from every side and from above.
DOCTOR: That still leaves one direction.
[SCENE_BREAK]
DOCTOR: There seems to be a very large rat about, Brigadier.
BRIGADIER: Rat?
DOCTOR: Perhaps you should employ the services of a very large cat.
[SCENE_BREAK]
PROFESSOR KETTLEWELL: I'm afraid I can't help you, Miss Smith.
SARAH: Oh.
KETTLEWELL: I don't know why you came to me.
SARAH: Well, I'm not too sure myself, to be honest. I just felt something in the atmosphere at Thinktank.
KETTLEWELL: Yes, I severed all connection with that establishment some time ago, when I became completely disillusioned at the direction all our research was taking. The road to ruination. I'm now devoting my life to alternative energy technologies.
SARAH: Solar cells, heat from windmills, that sort of thing?
KETTLEWELL: Yes, as you say, "That sort of thing." Oh, sorry. It's a rich and complex field, and I have a great deal of work.
SARAH: Oh! I beg your pardon. Well, I just wondered if they might be carrying on your work in robotics?
KETTLEWELL: No one is carrying on my work in robotics, Miss Smith, because no one has the ability to do so. Good day.
SARAH: Goodbye.
KETTLEWELL: Good day, Miss Smith.
SARAH: Just going. Thank you.
[SCENE_BREAK]
BENTON: We think this is the other end of it, sir. Only...
BRIGADIER: Only? Only what?
BENTON: Only it's not a proper tunnel. I mean, no props or anything. Just the earth been shoved aside. Whoever went through it wouldn't be able to breathe.
DOCTOR: Whoever went through it didn't need to breathe.
BENTON: And then there were these, sir.
[SCENE_BREAK]
SARAH: I've... I've left my notebook in one of the empty labs. I know exactly where it is, I can see myself putting it down. So if you could let me just pop in and get it, I needn't let your director know what an idiot I've been. Oh, please. Look, my pass is still valid for another 10 minutes yet.
GUARD: Wait here, miss. I'll check for you.
SARAH: Great.
[SCENE_BREAK]
SARAH: It was oil. I knew it.
ROBOT: Who are you? Why are you here?
Plan: A: his fourth incarnation; Q: What is the Doctor's current incarnation? A: his post regenerative trauma; Q: What is the Doctor trying to recover from? A: the Earth; Q: What does the Doctor want to save from Think Tank? A: world domination; Q: What is the goal of Think Tank? Summary: Can the Doctor, now in his fourth incarnation. Recover from his post regenerative trauma to save the Earth from Think Tank and their plot for world domination.