[This episode begins with a long line of customers outside Babylon waiting to get in. Justin walks up.]
Bouncer: Good evening, Mr.Taylor.
[It's a packed house inside. Emmett is on the catwalk.]
Man#1: God, the queer guy.
Man#2: You can make me, anytime you want top to bottom. Or bottom to top.
Emmett: I'll keep that in mind.
Justin: [comes up] Your Mr.Popular.
Emmett: Oh, I'm only a television star who doomed. You're looking for the other Mr.Popular?
Justin: He says, he has a surprise for me.
Emmett: Didn't he has time to waste until your eyes to be surprised. His majesty is in his new "V.I.P. Lounge" - but invitation only.
Security Guard: Welcome, Mr.Taylor.
[Justin walks in - Brian waits for him.]
Brian: How do you like what I'm done with this place?
Justin: As usually your taste is incredible.
Brian: Some people might say that Babylon does not longer serves any purpose, but I find think it has some 101 uses.
[He nods to a few guys in the backroom and they start undressing Justin, going down on him as Brian and Justin kiss.]
Brian: Maybe even 102.
[Multiple clips of baby J.R. getting passed around between her three parents. Going from one to the other to the other & back to another, etc. The baby is happy and smiling at first but after a few dozen hand offs she is cranky and crying. Cut to the Novotny-Bruckners out for a walk. Michael is pushing J.R. in her stroller, Ben is walking beside him and Hunter is on his bike behind them.]
Ben: So pal, your coming home after school?
Hunter: No, I though I join this circus to survive.
Michael: Smart ass.
Hunter: Where the hell should I gone? Now that I'm politely even kicked out of the swim team.
Michael: Aren't they have other extra school activities you participated?
Hunter: You mean where I'm not been in danger the other? Hey, there is chess club, although when I got cut...
Michael: Would you cut it out?
Hunter: No, why aren't you with your helpful suggestions...
Ben: Hey, ok you two...
Michael: Well, all I'm saying is you were pissed or bitter and you can forget about it and move on.
[Brian drives up.]
Brian: Welcome to my two dads. Hey champ.
Hunter: f*ck you.
Brian: If you weren't straight you doesn't agree with the lad.
Ben: I had class.
Brian: I'll give you a rid, professor?
Ben: No thanks, I'll grab a bus.
[Brian gets out of his car, walking over to Michael. He speaks to the baby.]
Brian: Guutschi-guutschi. Or if you prefer Prada-prada. Where were you?
Michael: Huh?
Brian: I'll missed you last week in Babylon.
Michael: Oh right.
Brian: All your favourite superheros were there. Flying around, f*cking around...
Michael: I'll was flying around myself.
Brian: Well, when you and Ben aren't brest feeding you should drop by.
[Debbie's house. Debbie getting roses from Loretta.]
Debbie: These are f*cking beautiful!
Loretta: And I made you fudge. Three kinds - chocolate, butter scotch and rocky coat.
Debbie: Jesus, what to do that I deserve all this?
Loretta: Yes, you deserve everything.
[Emmett comes down the stairs.]
Emmett: Somebody wins a beauty contest?
Debbie: Yeah, Miss Fat Ass 2005.
Loretta: You are not fat! You're beautiful.
Emmett: The ladies right beside the bouquet doesn't fit anymore, so stop wearing it.
Debbie: Thank you, Mr.Queer Eye for the fashion tip.
Loretta: Well, I... better get back to work.
Debbie: You take care. Thanks again for all the goodies.
[Debbie hugs Loretta. Then Loretta leaves without a word.]
Debbie: You care for some? Loretta just made it for me.
Emmett: Oh, how sweet(!) [he taste one.] So is this.
Debbie: It's an expression of affection, not a baker.
Emmett: Yeah well if the sugar tensive any indication, she's more than sweet on you.
Debbie: What the f*ck are you talking about?
Emmett: As obvious like the collor of your... eyes... You know the roses, the candy, the way she stares at you... don't tell me you couldn't see it.
Debbie: She's an friend of me. This is her way to thank you me for all I did for her.
Emmett: Trust me, it's more than that - much more. She's fallin' in love with you.
Debbie: That's impossible - I'm a happily married woman. I like dick.
Emmett: You don't have to tell me. You and Carl are goin' out every night. You don't hold back, do you?
Debbie: It's no point doin' some instead with a half ass.
So what am I gonna do?
Emmett: Well, first you put those rose in some water, then you freeze the fudge, than you gonna explain to her as gently but nicely as you can, why it could never be.
Debbie: Listen Loretta, I can't even imagine divin' into a muff.
Emmett: Something like that. Anywise like true lesbian, she'll be unpacking and offroad Vihicle and moving in.
[Brian with his pants down and a guy kneeling in front of him. No it's not what you've think - gee, as if it gets only around one thing. He's at a doctor.]
Doc: OK, you pull your pants on.
Brian: What a refresh reverse of the usual act.
Doc: So, when it is first appear?
Brian: About 4 days ago.
Doc: Any idea how you got it?
Brian: Probably from pulling to hard.
Doc: No oblist, Brian. It's look like you have cases of syphilis.
Brian: Syphilis? That's so 80s, 88s.
Doc: Not anymore - it's once again over age especially in the gay community. Pull off your sleeve, please. Think you can know from whom you have it? Make a fist.
Brian: I'm not the type for the kinky stuff.
Doc: I'll confirm it with the blood test - just to make sure.
Brian: Then what?
Doc: Then we give you a penicillin shot, let you clear it up. However, you have to lay off s*x for couple of days.
Brian: Couple of days!?
Doc: I realise that for you it is the hell of the time. But I have a good faith. Oh and one more thing. You need to inform every one you have sexual contact have with, so we can tested.
Brian: Had we but world enough and time.
[Hunter at school were he is an outcast, subject to all the stares and whispers and gossip. In class, when he sits down in a desk, the boy next to him gets up and moves. Callie comes in, sits in front of him.]
Callie: Do you have a pen? I lost mine.
Hunter: Are you trying to be nice?
Callie: Yes.
Hunter: Well, don't bother.
Callie: Fine, if you glad to sit by yourself.
Hunter: Your the only person who knew about me. The only one. And know the whole school know about me. Gee, I wonder if that happen.
Callie: I didn't tell anyone. I'll would never do that to you.
Hunter: Then how they found out?
Callie: My parents? You told them yourself, remember? When you hit the pool... they called to the other parents. They told their kids, they told their friends... first time your famous.
Hunter: Yeah, I'm a cock sucking superstar. Except I don't see them asking me for an autograph.
Callie: My folks are assholes for what they do - I've said I'll never forgive them. And I won't. Now, can I borrow a pen?
[He give her a pen.]
[Ted with dramatic opera music playing, sitting alone in the dark with a big hat on, pulled down over his face so no one can see him. Emmett stops by.]
Emmett: Teddy?
Ted: Don't turn on the light!
Emmett: Where the f*ck are you?
Ted: Well, I'll here for all the eternity - at the sofa.
[Emmett turns on the light and turns off the music.]
Ted: I'll ask you not to turn on the light!
Emmett: How am I supposed to see you?
Ted: That's the point!
Emmett: Still puffy?
Ted: Puffy? Yeah, I'll be thrilled about puffy, I'll overjoy the swollen. Compare to me the alpha man is the supermodel!
Emmett: Allright, you always cranky before you eat. C'mon, we'll grab some dinner.
Ted: With me? Go on public like this!? What I've done to myself?
Emmett: You had cosmetic surgury. Everyone who had it goes through this. Onces it's healed you'll be have a fabulous face.
Ted: I don't want a fabulous new face, I want my not so fabulous old face.
Emmett: You don't mean that.
Ted: It's the worst mistake I'll ever made. What makes worser is... why am I want beautiful? I want some beautiful - is that so much to ask? Instead I'm condammed and spend my remain days in the shadow - lke the phantom of Pittsburghs opera.
[He turns the light off and the music on. Emmett sights.]
[Mel and Lindz going over their bills.]
Mel: Luggage, condo...
Lindsay: What's this $12,000?
Mel: Oh, the water heater broke again and the plumper says he can't repaired and must be replaced.
Lindsay: Did you get any checks?
Mel: There was no time. Here is the premium for the car insureance.
Lindsay: Wait, wait a minute. Why should I have to pay for a water heater consider I don't live here.
Mel: But your children do and I'll pay for the half of your appartment and I don't live there either.
Lindsay: I still don't think it's fair. You don't even consult me and expect me to pay?
Mel: OK, I tell you what. Why I don't take down at the river and wash there and put the cloth against the rocks?
Lindsay: You always have a smart answer.
Mel: Well the stupid answer would be fun - you don't have to pay.
Lindsay: I'm stretch to the limits and can't find something else to live.
Mel: Any bride ideas?
Lindsay: Go back to work.
Mel: Go back to... Oh, when you had Gus I'm insure that you've comfortable as possible so you can stay home with him.
Lindsay: That was a complete different circumstances.
Mel: Oh, how's that?
Lindsay: We were still living together. And we'll still loved each other. I'll pay for everything else but not the heater.
[She leaves.]
[Justin cooking at the loft when Brian comes out of the shower. Brian taste tests his food.]
Justin: Taste this.
Brian: That's specifically good. It's charming your such a good cook.
Justin: Well, Michael gave me this.
Brian: What's next? Mates?
Justin: I love home-cooking. It makes me feel home. I'll make you feel good when someone cook for you. But home-cook meal is so appetising you are welcome to order yourself thai food if you love this weed.
Brian: [he whispers in Justin's ear] I love your cream sauce.
Justin: This is for desert.
Brian: A penicillin tart with seasonal berries.
Justin: What?
Brian: I said, a penicillin tart with seasonal berries. I have syphilis.
Justin: Syphilis?
Brian: It's not a big deal.
Justin: It's not a big deal? It could cause heart abnormilties, mental disorders, blindness...
Brian: Thank you for the public announcement, Dr.Taylor but the patient are already threat it and cured. All I have to do now is all my brains out for the next 48 hours, make that 42. By the way, you should you give self tested.
Justin: Did you f*ck someone without a condom?
Brian: No. Never. Word of honor.
Justin: Then how did you...?
Brian: It must have been someone who suck me off.
Justin: It surprising it happened sooner consider where your dicks been.
Brian: Excuse me, but you haven't exactly be a saint yourself. In fact, I might have even gotten from you. When's diner?
[Michael, Ben and Hunter having dinner. Mel has called.]
Michael: [to the phone] Yes, she ate. No, she's not colicy. Yes, she's sleeping like a baby. Look Mel, I got to go. Yes, I promise. If there is a problem, I'll call. [he hangs up.] Christ, she called every 5 minutes.
Ben: She's her mother.
Michael: She's a f*cking control freak, that's she is.
Hunter: Can I excuse?
Michael: You don't need anything - eat!
Ben: [to Michael] No control freaks here. Are you ok?
Hunter: Awesome.
Ben: Look, your principal called...
Hunter: I didn't do anything.
Michael: We know.
Ben: He wants us to come to a meeting with some of the other parents.
Hunter: About what?
Michael: About what happened in the swim meeting.
Hunter: f*ck!
Ben: Wait, hold on. It's not necessarily a bad thing.
Hunter: And how you figured that out?
Ben: If we'll help the official, answer questions and hopefully help you what you going through.
Hunter: Like anyone gives a sh1t what I'm going through. I'm coming too.
Michael: It's for parents.
Hunter: It's about me, isn't it? So I have a right to be there.
[Ted and Emmett at a lesbian bar.]
Ted: This is a dyke bar! How can you bring me to a dyke bar!?
Emmett: In commit to your out-of-town tryout. And nobody can f*ck you here, right? So it doesn't matter how you look like, or what everybody thinks.
Ted: Yeah, you right. No-one knows me here, so I'm safe. I'm annonymus.
Debbie: TEDDY! Hi, Em.
Ted: Mother of Christ!
Debbie: No honey, just of Michael. What do boys doin' here? Don't tell me you want to taste snatch.
Emmett: I could ask you the same thing.
Debbie: I'm taking your suggestion.
[She looks over to Loretta.]
Emmett: Uh,... I hope the fish bite.
Woman#1: [to Ted] You look pretty beat up, baby. Do a man do that to you?
Ted: Huh!?
Woman#1: Too bad I wasn't around to protect you. But don't you worry, kid. When the swallow goes down and when it does you gonna be just as pretty as ever.
[She slaps him on the ass and goes away.]
Ted: That "person"... thinks I'm a lesbian! What have I done to myself? I'm goin home and I never coming back out!
Emmett: [to the woman] She just hasn't been herself since the hot flashes.
[Cut to Loretta and Debbie's table.]
Debbie: A great place here, didn't you say?
Loretta: I suppose. I'm really glad you ask me out, Deb.
Debbie: What with her?
Loretta: She's...
Debbie: Handsome?
Loretta: I was hoping we could spend some time togther - just the two of us.
Debbie: What about her? I bet she love a good hand - to buy a beer.
Loretta: I hope someone does.
Debbie: Loretta, honey, isn't here someone in this place who take those of your fantasy?
Loretta: There is. [She's taking Debb's hand.] Buy a beer?
[At the gym. Brian and Ben working out together.]
Brian: I though it was the benefit of marriage, besides having have s*x with the same person for the rest of your natural born life, is to be able to let yourself go.
Ben: I'm sure you'll be please to know that Michael and I still looking good to each other.
Brian: You still look?
Ben: Not everyone would considers marriage and monogamy as a death sentence. For some of us there is simply a part of growing up.
Brian: You mean giving up. It's surrendering to the straight world's conception what it needs to be a man.
Ben: We can't be a Peter Pan forever.
Brian: You can try.
Ben: These days I prefer spending times in the family room than the backroom.
Brian: As opposed to 'those days' of getting gang banged in the orgy room of the Liberty Baths.
Ben: Liberty is to remember.
Brian: How can you forget now that you have the HIV and oh-so-PC. But I stopped Michael from becoming one of them, Stepford Fags but at least I save Justin from a fate worse than being heterosexual, and that's being an imitation heterosexual.
Ben: And what's that?
[A hottie cruises Brian.]
Brian: Limitation.
Ben: Aren't you gonna go after him?
Brian: I'd loved to, professor, but I still have the 24 hours until that syphilis clears up.
[At Ben and Michael's home.]
Michael: [to Daphne and Justin] I'm sure we're here when she wakes up.
Ben: So give the baby phone to you and feel yourself at home.
Daphne: Thanks.
Michael: You have my cell phone number - just in case.
Ben: Have fun you two.
Michael: Thanks again.
[Michael and Ben leaves.]
Daphne: Oh my god, she's so cute.
Justin: She's twice as grown since I last saw her.
Daphne: Have you thoughed yourself of having one?
Justin: Sometimes.
Daphne: So, what's stopping you?
Justin: I'm sorry, did I forget to mention who I lives with?
Daphne: Did you ask him?
Justin: He won't even get a puppy. Do you have any idea how much that would cost? Anyway now is not the time for life-altering discussion. At least not until his syphilis clears up.
[Daphne looks shocked to Justin.]
[SCENE_BREAK]
[School meeting.]
Principal: I know last week's big accident during the swim meeting raised a lot of concern for your children's health and safety. That's why I'm invited Dr.Judith Davidson from the Pittsburgh's AIDS profect to speak with us this evening and answer any questions you might have. Dr.Davidson.
Dr.Davidson: Thank you. Unfortunately there is a great deal of still deal of alleviate. So I welcome the opportunity to not only inform you about the fact, but to hopefully alleviate some of your fears. First of, let me assure you that the risk of HIV transmission from Hunter's injury in the pool is next to impossible. In fact, it'll require a direct blood to blood contact for there to be any significant exposure.
Callie's father: That's comforting to hear that doctor, but that's not the only thing he exposing our children to. The kid is a hustler, a male prostitute.
Michael: Hold on!
Callie's father: Do you mind if I finish?
Ben: As a matter of fact we do.
Callie's father: I am sure that I speak for everyone here when I say, we don't want our kids around someone with his backround.
Ben: You don't even know a damn thing about his backround how he was abused by his mother, how he do escape from series of foster homes, literally sleep in the street...
Michael: And how he regain his health that he can catch a school.
Father#2: What is this? A plot to a Dickens' novel?
Ben: You children lead privileged lives, how dare they laugh at my son's misfortune!?
Hunter: It's ok, Ben. I'm glad I came here tonight because I'm learning something too. Now I know how the kids got to be the way they are - from you.
[Justin and Daphne watching TV.]
Daphne: I don't know how you can so casual about it. I'd freak out.
Justin: I do that first but my test came back negative so I guess everything is ok.
Daphne: Next time you're not so lucky.
Justin: I'll promised that I will be safe.
Daphne: I wish you can be more than safe. I wish you two would...
Justin: Settle down. Get married. Be monogamous? It's never gonna be happen.
[They hear the baby crying over the monitor.]
Daphne: Oh my god, she's burning up.
Justin: I'll better call Michael. [he tries] f*ck! Just his voice mail. [He dials someone else.]
[The parents leaving the meeting.]
Principal: This was supposed to a formal meeting not a fighting ground. Please accept my apologizes and know that not everyone feels that way.
Ben: Oh, it's not your fault, but thanks for saying that.
Principal: However, we have a much bigger problem than I thought. To tonights reaction, you might sending Hunter to another school.
Hunter: I'm not leaving.
Michael: We should at least consider.
Hunter: They can call me whatever they want, I don't care. You're not chased me off.
[Mel in the E.R. with the crying baby. Lindsay comes in.]
Lindsay: I come as soon as I could.
Mel: Where is Gus?
Lindsay: Thank god Dusty is take him. How's she?
Mel: Oh, ear ache and fever.
Lindsay: Have you waiting a while?
Mel: An hour, at least! They see siting there with a screaming infint and decent...
Michael: We just get the message.
Mel: Yeah and where are you? At babylon?
Michael: f*ck you!
Ben: Hey! Easy, easy. We're was in Hunter's school, there was a problem.
Mel: Yeah, I'll see there is a problem.
Lindsay: She's been waiting over an hour. There must be someone who talk to.
Mel: How could you leave her like that? After all the crap you put us through? It's unforgivable.
Michael: She's was with Justin.
Mel: Yeah, how do they know?
Ben: Enough to call you.
Mel: You have no saying this, so butt out!
Ben: Excuse me?
Michael: Don't talk to him like that! We have another kid who need our attention!
Mel: I don't care about your other kid right now, I care about this one, my daughter who have happens to be in a lot of pain.
Lindsay: I'll find some nurse.
Mel: All I know is at the minute you have her, you take off. I went to my lawyer about this because this time there is no settling. We're gonna go to court and I'll make sure that you loose custody.
Michael: You just try!
Nurse: The doctor want to see your daughter now.
Mel: It was about f*cking time!
Nurse: I'm sorry, but only one parent can go.
Mel: Oh, I'm goin'. I'm the mother.
Michael: I'm goin. I'm her father.
Mel: Yeah, some father.
Michael: You say that one more time!
Lindsay: I'm goin'. You two can nuke it out but my daughter need some other attention.
[Babylon. At the bar.]
Brian: Why? You solo?
Emmett: Well, not everyone is like you - in a non-relationship.
Brian: Where is Pittsburgh very own extrem make over?
Emmett: Oh, I'll try to make him an appearence but tonigh with desasters threat. He saw a lesbian and went back in his hole for another six weeks.
Brian: You can tell Theodore that he'd better get his ass back to work Monday or he's fired.
Emmett: I'll be sure I'm giving him a message.
Brian: Now if you excuse me, I have another urgent message to thrown apart.
Emmett: Half price admittions for all bottoms?
Brian: I have syphilis.
Emmett: You have...?
Brian: Do I know to repeat?
Emmett: Well it certainly hasn't been your year dick-wise.
Brian: It's my responsibilty to inform all my former partners so that they can tested.
Emmett: Wouldn't a full page ads save your day?
Brian: I'm always prefer the personal touch.
[Brian tells one of his tricks about the syphilis. It's like a game of "Telephone" being played across the dancefloor. Brian tells his trick who tells the guys he's slept with that they might have been exposed, etc., etc., etc. Back at the bar.]
Emmett: Fortunately for me I'm been spared the last trash.
[One of his tricks comes over to him and tells him to get tested.]
Ememtt: Until now.
[Michael and Ben holding hands in the E.R. Mel sulking. Lindsay comes out with J.R.]
Mel: Oh, how's she?
Lindsay: She'll be fine, they gave her some baby medicine. It's need to repeat every 4 hours. And some from the other twice a day.
Michael: I'll pick that at the front seat.
Mel: OK, sweety, I'll take you home.
Michael: I was just to say the same thing.
Mel: Why should she go with you?
Michael: Because it's still my time.
Mel: I'll say you had enough time.
Michael: We have an agreement.
Mel: After you practically abandoned her?
Lindsay: Would you two please calm down?
Ben: I'll agree.
Mel: The baby needs her mother.
Michael: I'm just escapable of taking care of her.
Mel: You'll proving that.
Michael: Come with daddy.
Mel: She's coming with me!
Lindsay: Would you two stop!? I don't even think one of you give a damn about your daughter's welfare. All you concern about is who has ownership.
Michael: That is not true!
Mel: How can you say that?
Lindsay: But I'm a part of it. Well no more. I'm out of this circus right now. Jenny Rebecca is all yours. I hope you will spend as much time thinking of her needs as you do about yours.
[She leaves.]
[At the diner, Rosie has made Debbie some heart-shaped Jello.]
Loretta: Hearts.
Debbie: You made it from a cherry jello.
Loretta: And flower are addable penchus.
Debbie: Not the first onces in here. You shouldn't do so much trouble.
Loretta: Nothing is to much trouble for you, Deb. Hey, you wanna go back to that bar tonight? I'm off at 6.
Debbie: It's not really my scene, if you know what I mean.
Loretta: Yeah, to crowed and noisy, I understand. How do you know when we go to a quite little place, some...
Debbie: Loretta, sit.
Loretta: I'd love to, but I have a couple of pink plates coming up.
Debbie: Betty can serve them that. Please sit. [she sits down.] Loretta, I'm truly flattered and honored that you like me.
Loretta: I'm more than like you.
Debbie: It's just that one little hitch. I'm not gay. Only god knows I had a lot of grieves but let's face it, honey, after hanging up those heroes these days but it's not real.
Loretta: I don't think I was gay at first either. That's because I hadn't know the right person.
Debbie: I have met the right person. His name is Carl Horvath.
Loretta: I better pick up those...
Debbie: Listen, please, listen. You don't really love me.
Loretta: Why would not? You're wonderful.
Debbie: I'll take the compliment. But you just think you do because for the first time in your life you find the expressing who really you. And I am thrilled for you. Truly I am. But you need someone who love you back. Someone you deserve.
[Emmett back at Ted's, ready to make him get on with his life. He get some light.]
Ted: Uh, what are you doin'!?
Emmett: Let in some sunshine.
Ted: Light is my enemy, dark is my only friend.
Emmett: I'll remember that.
Ted: What's all that?
Emmett: Queer guy is about to working out his fairy magic.
Ted: Let your fairy magic for your truckers.
Emmett: First we need to get your hair to his natural color. Chocolate mouse or bottermind umbroe?
Ted: What for? It's useless. A caterpilar is never a butterfly. I'm just an old memories who make fun of. The one who's trying to get young, and only fool to himself.
Emmett: Teddy, no matter what you look like there will be only one person blinded by your beauty. And we got help the natur to get along. So let's crackin'.
[Hunter getting more looks at school. He is walking with Callie.]
Callie: My parents nearly sh1t.
Hunter: They did?
Callie: You called their a fashist hate monkers. You know what you do to a life lived democrats?
Hunter: Sorry that I'll be angry them.
Callie: Are you kitten? So they deserved it. I'm sorry that you have to go through that. I'm glad you decided to stay.
Hunter: You are? [Hunter takes her hand.] So you do wanna go with me? We can go to a movie and got pizza. Or I could follow your father's car and drive to LA.
[Callie sees another boy nearby and she quickly snatches her hand away from Hunter. The boy comes over and kisses her cheek.]
Callie: Hey Matt.
Matt: Hey. We want to the mall. You come?
Callie: Sure.
[Hunter is crushed. He looks on the verge of tears.]
[Michael and Ben at Woody's. Michael got a call.]
Michael: Sure, what a relief. Thanks for let me know. [he hang up.] That was Mel. She wanted to let me know tht our daughter is doin' fine.
Ben: Ah, that's good news.
Michael: And that I'm an asshole.
Ben: What? She said that.
Michael: No, I did.
Ben: You decided you look for the best for Jenny-Rebecca's interest.
Michael: Actually I was looking after mine. Instead of thinking what is right to the baby, or who she should be with, I was think about me. So, I decided Lindsay's right.
Ben: By to give up custody?
Michael: I would never do that. But I do think that JR needs to spend more time with the mother instead of passing her around. So we need to come up with a new arrangement. A one that's the best for her.
Ben: I think it's very wise and a very loving decision.
[They start to kiss and make out. Brian walks up then.]
Brian: What kind of beaviour is that for a proper married couple?
Michael: Inproper. Undignified.
Ben: Hmm, fun.
Brian: Since when have married people fun?
Michael: You should trying sometimes. You might enjoy it.
Emmett: Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, he's here! He's here!
Ben: Who's here?
Emmett: OK, it's not that devine Ted, but I'm got him out of house. You should only know what it took. So, praise him and tell him he look fabulous. Got it?
Brian: [practise] Ted, you look fabulous. Ted, you LOOK fabulous.
Emmett: Here he is, here he is!
[They turn to the door and a really hot guy walks in.]
Brian: Oh my god, he really does look fabulous!
Emmett: That's not Ted. That is.
[Ted walks in.]
Michael: Hey, you look 10 years younger.
Ben: What a fantastic job.
Brian: Ted, you look fabulous.
Ted: You do?
Emmett: What did I tell you?
Ted: Well, drinks are on me.
[Ted goes to the bartender.]
Michael: [whispers] To tell the truth he doesn't look that different.
Brian: I don't looked enough to know.
Ben: Look him in the eyes. It's rusted...
Emmett: It doesn't matter if he look any different. The point is that he thinks he does. He can look in the mirror now and see a new man. A men who had confidence and likes. That's all that matters.
[Debbie in her red teddy racing down the stairs to answer the doorbell because she thinks it's Hovarth.]
Debbie: Get ready baby, when you come through that door you got such a big... surprise.
[It's Loretta.]
Loretta: I think you weren't expecting me.
Debbie: I was just doin' ironing. Come in.
Loretta: I guess I carried away. It's the first time I was able to show another woman affection after I was slucked from Daryl.
Debbie And girl you keep goin'.
Loretta: I am. I'm leaving, Deb. The diner and Pittsburgh.
Debbie: Just cause I said that I couldn't be your dreams didn't know you have to go.
Loretta: I know, it's got nothing to do with you. It's me. When I see someone, something I like I get, you might call, fixated. It's kind the person that I am. I always been that way. Every since the shrimp.
Debbie: The shrimp?
Loretta: When I was a girl my folks used to take to Remond every sundsay night for the 895, kids half price. They had every kind of food you can imagine. I never loved anything but just the shrimp. When I keep goin' back for more, more and more my folks try to give me roast beef, try the chicken, try the striganov. I know what I like and I stuck through. I know if I stay here, I'm not able to move off. I just keep loving you. And this won't neither of us like.
Debbie: I'm sure if you try the roadbeef, you like it.
Loretta: [crying] It's ok.
Debbie: sh1t! I should be here to comfort you.
Loretta: You already have. I'm gonna be just fine
[Lindsay at Mel's house.]
Lindsay: Since you don't be coming to my apartment anymore - I thoughed you could use them.
Mel: You're not doin' this because you don't wanna be Jenny's mother, are you?
Lindsay: I'm doin' this because I didn't want to be a parent to the baby anymore. I'm doin' this what it's best for her, not me.
Mel: Thank you.
Lindsay: I hope you know that I never intended to get things so ugly.
Mel: That's how divorces go especially with married children. Why should that been any different?
Lindsay: Because we loved each other more. By the way that's from my share for the water heater.
[Michael and Ben leaving Woody's.]
Ben: Oh, Liberty Avenue.
Michael: In all it's glory.
Ben: Miss it?
Michael: It's my life for a long time. Everwhere I look, I still see me. Walking down the street with Brian, hanging out with Emmett, Ted, cruising some hot guy, but I've moved on. Rather what I'm used to be I look forward what I get to be.
[They kiss. As they pull apart, Michael is shocked to see Hunter hanging out on the street corner, smoking pot with his old hustler pals.]
Michael: What's goin' on?
Hunter: Re-connecting with old friends. Renewing social times. Want some?
Michael: No, we do not!
Ben: C'mon, let's go.
Michael: It's school night>.
Boy#1: Uh, school night. [he's laughing.]
Hunter: I'm not goin' back!
Ben: Hey, I told the principal that you not wanna leave.
Hunter: Well, I'll changed my mind. I never should have been there where people thinking they are better than me. At least this guys accept my for who I am.
Michael: Well, in case you forgotten so do we. Now, goin' home.
[They lead him off as his hustler pals.]
Boy#1: Be sure to doin' what your daddies says and collect up front.
[Justin sitting on the couch at the loft drawing when Brian comes in. Justin turns the drawing over so Brian can't see it.]
Brian: Hard at work?
Justin: How was Babylon?
Brian: Hard to play
Justin: What are you doin' home so early, it's nearly 1:30.
Brian: Because I forced celibacy is now over and I wanted you to be the first to know.
Justin: I'm touched.
Brian: You'll be a lot more than touched when I'm done with you.
Justin: I have work to do.
Brian: Do it in the morning.
Justin: I'm doin' it now. How can you be so f*cking casual? You never get tired of it?
Brian: To get tired of it would mean that it's becoming predictable, unsatisfying and boring, so is like our conversation is headed.
Justin: Or it can mean I found something more satisfying and more meaningful.
Brian: What would that be?
[Justin doesn't reply, just looks at him.]
Brian: I'm take a shower and then go to bed.
Justin: OK, I have some work to finish.
[Justin turns his drawing back over. It's a scene of J.T. asking Rage when will he ever stop f*cking everything that moves. Rage has sores on his face and the word bubble for his reply is empty. Justin writes the reply "Never" in the word bubble.]
Plan: A: Debbie; Q: Who tries to let Loretta down easy? A: Brian; Q: Who must refrain from sex after he contracts syphilis? A: Hunter; Q: Who has to deal with his classmates and their parents discovering how he got HIV? A: the aftermath; Q: What does Hunter have to deal with after his classmates and parents discover how he got HIV? A: Ted; Q: Who regrets having plastic surgery? A: Daphne; Q: Who does Justin discuss the possibility of Brian embracing domestic life with? A: impossibility; Q: What is the other word for the possibility of Brian embracing domestic life? A: Michael; Q: Who is forced to reevaluate his parenting arrangement when the fight over JR reaches a climax? A: JR; Q: What child is the source of Michael, Melanie, and Lindsey's fight? Summary: Debbie tries to let Loretta down easy. Brian must refrain from sex after he contracts syphilis. Hunter has to deal with the aftermath of his classmates and their parents discovering how he got HIV. Ted regrets having plastic surgery. Justin and Daphne discuss the possibility (or impossibility) of Brian embracing domestic life. Michael, Melanie, and Lindsey are forced to reevaluate their parenting arrangement when the fight over JR reaches its climax.