Opening scene - Christmas tree lot - the first thing we see is an awesome aerial shot of the water, and houses etc. then we see a Christmas tree being shaken
Summer: (off screen) nope (shakes another tree) nope (frowns, shakes another tree) look at the branch spacing its like swiss cheese (touches stem) an these stems couldn't hold heavier ornaments
Marissa: so, that's a pass then
(we can now see the Ryan and Seth are standing next to Marissa. they both look like they are over Summers search for the perfect tree, lol Seth is also wearing his cute reindeer sweater)
Ryan: why not, we've been here three hours (looks at Marissa, walks away)
Seth: hey get in the spirit man its Chrismukkah, an I love Chrismukkah
(Summer is inspecting a tree behind Seth)
Marissa: (arms folded) so we've heard (walks away)
Seth: it's seriously the best thing I've ever done, every Jewish boy wants Christmas, I gave myself that
Summer: (looks at needle) well what's the equivalent, what does every Christian kid want (smells)
Seth: easy, a Bar Mitzvah
Ryan: I've never wanted one
Seth: well that's jus cause (raises eyebrows) you don't know better
Ryan: oo (raises eyebrows)
Summer: Coop, let's look over here
Marissa: again
Summer: yeah
(Marissa pouts and Ryan kisses her on the cheek, aww. Summer and Marissa walk off together)
Seth: seriously, I think you should really consider it
Ryan: what, a Bar Mitzvah
Seth: yeah, you've brought some much needed Chris to the Cohen's but I think you could really use a little mukkah
Ryan: mm I don't think so
Seth: (nods) that's tough talk from a guy who eats alotta bagels
(we now see Marissa and Summer in a different section of trees)
Marissa: oh you think Johnny would like that tree (points)
Summer: Johnny, Johnny who (frowns) Johnny Harper Johnny (looks at Marissa) Johnny the one lets take time off jus be friends because I'm in love with you (raises eyebrows) Johnny
Marissa: its just I feel bad, I mean it's the holidays an he's all alone, layed up with his knee
Summer: I don't know Cooper scooper (frowns, worried)
Marissa: (looks at Summer) that's a bad (raises eyebrows, tries not to laugh) nickname, an besides I already talked about it with Ryan, an he's cool with everything
Summer: mm
Marissa: it's just a tree (shrugs)
Summer: ok (looks at Marissa) but I get to pick it out
(we now see Seth and Ryan again)
Seth: everything cool with you an Marissa
Ryan: yep, we had a really good talk
Seth: mm (frowns) an the whole Johnny thing
Ryan: no there is no Johnny thing, I mean there is but...not for her (Seth frowns) anyway it's the holidays I'm sure Johnny's the last thing on her mind
Seth: hm
(Marissa and Summer are back over with Ryan and Seth)
Marissa: hey, so we found a great tree for Johnny's house
(Ryan and Seth look at each other)
Seth: did you now
Marissa: yeah (shrugs) well I figured he could use some holiday cheer (looks at Summer)
Ryan: yeah I think that's a great idea (looks at Seth) (Summer smiles) come on
(Ryan puts his hand on Marissa's back and they walk away together)
Summer: uh-hm, an what do youuuu think Cohen
Seth: my Chrismukkah forecast calls for trouble
(we see an aerial shot of the Christmas tree lot as Seth and Summer head over to Ryan and Marissa together)
Theme song - California by Phantom Planet Front of Johnny's house - Marissa rings the door bell and then looks behind her. the range rover is parked with a big tree tied to the roof. Ryan is holding a smaller tree which came out of the back of the range rover, and Summer and Seth are standing near him. Seth shuts the back just as Johnny's mom opens the door. it almost seems like she's been crying
Marissa: (smiles) hey
J's mom: oh hey, Marissa
(Ryan, Seth and Summer are now near Marissa)
J's mom: if you're looking for Johnny it's probably not the best time
Marissa: i-is everything ok
Johnny: (off screen) who is it mom
(Johnny's mom turns around and looks at him limping over to the door)
Johnny: hey guys
Ryan: hey (touches tree) bought you a little somethin for the holidays
Seth: an it only took Summer five hours to pick it out (Summer smiles and raises her eyebrows)
Johnny: well thanks, its really nice of you guys
J's mom: that is nice, here let me
Ryan: yeah (gives J's mom the tree)
J's mom: ill be inside
(Johnny moves out of the way so his mom can go inside then stands in the doorway again)
Marissa: well what's going on
Johnny: nothin um jus...we got a call from the doctor
Ryan: somethin wrong with the surgery
Johnny: ...there's not gonna be a surgery
(Seth frowns, Summer and Ryan listen)
Johnny: apparently my moms insurance doesn't cover it so
Marissa: so he's not gonna do the operation
Johnny: he would, if we could pay for it (Summer looks down) so I guess I'm...gonna have'ta get use'ta livin here a little while longer
Ryan: sorry man (raises eyebrows) (Marissa looks worried)
Johnny: that's cool, you know I was kinda gettin sick'a surfin anyways (shrugs, almost smiles) yeah but thanks for the tree
(Seth, Summer and Ryan all look as though they feel bad for Johnny)
Johnny: ill see ya (shuts door)
Marissa: (softly) yeah (looks away worried)
Seth: I think he really liked the tree
CUT TO: Cohen living room - we see a close up of a large Santa statue being taken out of a box. Kirsten sets him down near other decorations. the shot changes and we can see Kirsten and all her surroundings as well as Sandy walking in the front door. next to Kirsten sitting on the arm of the couch are four yarmuclaus, in front of her we can see a menorah, some tinsel and a couple of smaller figurine things. next to her we can see Seth's and Ryan's stockings and she has a box in front of her that she has her hand in. there are also 2 large soldiers standing near the lounge and the Santa Claus that she placed down, near Santa there is also a little tree
Sandy: hey, I tell you the air is crisp (points) i-i- it must be seventy degrees out there, the kids are not back yet with the tree
Kirsten: oh not yet, Seth said they'll be a while, I'm jus pulling out stockings an menorahs an yarmuclaus (smiles)
Sandy: all the Chrismukkah trimmings
Kirsten: (holds up Ryan's stocking) remember when Seth made him this
Sandy: that feels like forever ago
Kirsten: what feels like forever ago is when my mom an I made this (looks lovingly at the angel) my dad claimed it was his favourite, always demanded that he got to hang it
Sandy: (crouches) It's your first holiday without him
Kirsten: an the last one with the boys in the house (smiles sadly) merry Chrismukkah huh
Sandy: well luckily Chrismukkah has twice the resistance of an ordinary holiday
Kirsten: mm, its jus that this year (raises eyebrows) it just feels like its flying by so fast Sandy an (looks at Sandy) I just feel adrift
Sandy: well you got your business with Julie...an if you wanna feel better about your own life hangin out with Julie Coopers a great way ta begin
Kirsten: (smiles) I should check in on her, see how she's doing
Sandy: you mark my words, this'll be the best Chrismukkah ever (kisses Kirsten) mm
Kirsten: you're beginning to sound like Seth
Sandy: well, it just means you'll miss him less when he's gone (grins, stands)
(Kirsten laughs and then looks at the angel sadly)
CUT TO: The diner - we see the diner all decorated for Christmas. there are Christmas lights along the windows, a few little trees scattered around, and tinsel along the edge of the booths. Seth, Summer, Marissa and Ryan are sitting in a booth together
Marissa: you guys we have'ta do something...we need a Chrismukkah miracle
(we see a close up of Ryan with his hands clasped together thinking. after a second he clicks his finger and points at Summer. Marissa looks as well, then Seth. Summer looks at them)
Summer: oh, right (raises eyebrows) a Chrismukkah miracle that's what I do (Seth nods) ok (Marissa and Ryan nod) umm how bout if we (stops) no (Seth looks down) no, (turns to Seth) what if (Seth looks hopeful) no (excited) I know (Marissa jumps) (smacks forehead) stu...pid
(Marissa looks at Ryan)
Seth: I can actually see the wheels turning
(Summer sighs, frustrated)
Marissa: well how much can surgery be
Ryan: eh its a few grand at least
Seth: if any of you were even remotely Jewish I would jus say we could pool our Bar Mitzvah money but (thinks) holy crap that's it (points)
Summer: what's it
Ryan: (realises) nn (raises eyebrows) oh n-n-n-n-n-n- no (points)
Seth: yes (smiles)
Ryan: no way dude
Marissa: what
Seth: yes way dude
Ryan: no
Seth: yes way dude
Ryan: I'm sorry, alright I cant, I won't
(Seth is now sitting on the back of the booths seat)
Seth: will
Ryan: I'm not havin it
Marissa: havin what
Seth: a Bar Mitzvah
(Ryan is clearly frustrated at Seth saying it. Seth claps. Marissa smiles and almost laughs)
Summer: (laughs) Ryan gets Bar Mitzvah'ed now that is funny (points)
Ryan: yeah see, Summers laughing
Seth: no that's just gas-
Summer: (hits Seth) hey
Seth: now listen'a me this wouldn't be an ordinary Bar Mitzvah you know what this would be, wait for it (holds up finger dramatically, looks up) wait for it (Ryan looks up) a Chrismukkah Bar Mitz-vahkkah (Summer frowns) spell that dude
(Marissa looks at Summer)
Ryan: (softly) that's crazy
Seth: yeah, so crazy it just might work
Marissa: (looks at Ryan) so we throw a big party
Summer: an Ryan gets the money from the Bar Mitzvah
(Seth looks at Ryan)
Marissa: an then we can spend it on Johnny's surgery
Ryan: how is this gonna work, am I jus gonna stand in front'a Newport an sing Hebrew
Seth: you chant (points) an hell yes
Summer: (to Marissa) oo what kind'a centerpieces should we get
Marissa: I don't know, band or DJ
Summer: ooo
Seth: uh DJ with dancers
Summer: yeah
Seth: I like the Pussycat Dolls
Ryan: oh my god you're serious
Seth: we can get so many cool things, we can get Hercle the Jewish clown
Summer: Hercle (smiles)
(Ryan closes his eyes and puts his head down on his hands)
Seth: DJ Goldstein Berger
CUT TO: Julie's trailer - we hear the TV going and a dog barking in the distance. then we see Julie in a wife beater and mini skirt on the couch with her feet up on the coffee table. she spits Skoal into what looks like a tin can. it is beyond disgusting. we see the TV and she is watching some kind of car racing. we then hear a knock at the door
Julie: (yells) I told you Gus I'm not going to your Christmas party, even if you are deep fryin a ham
(Kirsten opens the door and lets herself in. Julie sits up and spits the Skoal into the tin, and makes a disgusting noise to boot, ugh)
Kirsten: well, deep fried ham sounds delicious
Julie: (thrown) Kirsten, um (turns off TV) I thought we weren't doing any...business until after the New Year
Kirsten: I didn't come here for business
Julie: oh, just happen to be in the neighbourhood huh
Kirsten: I came to see how you were
Julie: I'm great (Kirsten looks at her skeptically) some'a the neighbours are having cockfights in an hour, using stray dogs it's a holiday tradition (Kirsten nods) my moneys on the feisty Weimaraner
Kirsten: good (raises eyebrows, smiles sadly) cause I'm awful
(Kirsten looks at Julie sadly, Julie looks at her)
Julie: I'm spitting Skoal into a can drinking wine from a bottle I unscrewed an living in a home that, if I wanted to, I could put in reverse, I'm beyond awful
Kirsten: you're at least gonna spend the holidays with Marissa right
Julie: well you know we were, but the Four Seasons in Maui is booked (sits)
Kirsten: haven't told her
Julie: what that her moms now a Jeff Foxworthy fan, she thinks our new ocean front condo is undergoing a remodel
Kirsten: (nods) Julie what're ya gonna do
Julie: I'm gonna let her have her fun (points to herself) and I will be miserable
Kirsten: well, misery loves company
(Kirsten sits down next to Julie. Julie turns the TV back on, and picks up what I assume is the Skoal, she offers it to Kirsten but she refuses. Kirsten and Julie both put their feet up on the coffee table, lol)
CUT TO: Robert's house - we see Summers dad Neil coming down the stairs just as Summer and Seth come in the front door
Neil: hey
Summer: hi
Seth: Dr. Roberts (Neil looks at him) hello, hi, how are you
Neil: I'm good Seth how are you
Seth: great (nods) I'm with your daughter (points) (Summer smiles) so how could I not be great...plus the Angels won (Summer looks at her dad) lookin pretty good this year mm
Neil: baseball season ended months ago Seth
Seth: but the market is up, yes (Neil looks at him then away) no, it's a good- it's a good time for the market, yes, no, it's a good- it's a bad-its a bad its a bad time for the market
Summer: Cohen
Seth: (softly) it's a bad time
Summer: why don't you comb out Princess Sparkles tail, I know how that (softly) relaxes you
Seth: what
(Neil tries not to laugh)
Seth: Summer what're you- what're you talking about I would never I would (Summer looks at him) (breathes heavily, gives up) is the comb where I left it
Summer: (softly) yeah
(Seth goes upstairs. Neil watches him and then turns to Summer)
Neil: how are you sweetheart
Summer: oh I'm good, I just had a trial run at the Christmas tree lot, I helped pick out the Cohen's tree
Neil: ah
Summer: um is what's-her-name around I thought maybe we could all go later an pick out ours
Neil: your step-mother, she's out of town, she's meeting with the Mahariti? in New Delhi, she wants to get centred for the New Year
Summer: (nods) m so when she's here (frowns) she's not really here but now she's really not here
Neil: but we have each other (Summer looks at him) an I've got a ton'a work
Summer: well cant tummy tucks wait (raises eyebrows) its the holidays (Neil raises his eyebrows) aren't you the least bit bummed that your wife ditched us
Neil: I'm too busy, I really haven't had a chance to...be bummed (smiles) I've gotta be off to the OR, when you wanna get that tree you jus let me know
(Neil kisses Summer on the head. Summer kisses back)
Summer: (sadly) bye dad
(Neil leaves and Summer frowns)
CUT TO: Johnny's house - on the TV we can see old surfing footage of Johnny. we then see Johnny's mom
J's mom: he hasn't moved all day
(we now see that Ryan and Marissa are standing just near the front door. Johnny's mom opens the door to the living room and Ryan and Marissa follow. Johnny looks over)
J's mom: Johnny, your friends are here
Ryan: hey man (touches Johnny's shoulder)
Johnny: hey
Marissa: hey
Johnny: this is when me an Chili went down to Costa Rica, it was the greatest trip'a my life, an now it's the most depressing
Ryan: well, we have some good news
Johnny: yeah, I could use some'a that
Marissa: yeah well your gonna have the surgery
(Johnny looks from Marissa to Ryan)
Ryan: yeah we're gonna throw a party, well a fundraiser
Marissa: I mean we have em all the time so it's not really a big deal but (shrugs) (Johnny doesn't look happy) everyone in Newport usually comes
Ryan: yeah, we'll raise the money
Johnny: so I'm like a charity case now
(Marissa and Ryan look at each other)
Ryan: no no (squints) it's not like that
Johnny: the rich people pay for the poor kid how is it not like that
Marissa: ...(raises eyebrows) we're tryin'a help (shrugs)
Johnny: I appreciate that but I've always taken care'a myself
Ryan: ok, alright, but now's not the time to be proud
Johnny: (looks at Ryan) hey man if anyone should understand...
(Marissa looks at Ryan. Ryan doesn't know what to say)
Johnny: look thanks but no thanks alright (sighs) I should probably lay down (moves leg) my knees killin me (stands) thanks for stoppin by
(Johnny limps out of the room. Ryan watches him and then looks up at Marissa, Marissa looks at him then she looks over at the TV. old footage of Johnny surfing is still playing)
CUT TO: Cohen backyard - Ryan, Seth, Marissa and Summer are all out by the pool, and the best bit, Ryan is cleaning the pool,lol. Marissa is sitting cross legged near Ryan eating breakfast, Summer is sitting on the edge of a pool chair and Seth is standing near her. the garden is also understatedly decorated for Chrismukkah. there are fairy lights wrapped around poles and a few poinsettia pot plants scattered around the garden. it looks nice
Seth: I don't care, Ryan's still gettin the Bar Mitzvah
Summer: Cohen the whole point was to help Johnny
Seth: maybe uh to you but do any of you remember my Bar Mitzvah
(Summer looks over at Ryan and Marissa. Ryan looks over at Seth)
Marissa: (frowns, thinks) wait wasn't that Luke's birthday, we played paintball that was so much fun
Seth: yeah that was fun, apparently for the entire thirteen year old population of Orange County none of whom happened to swing by temple Beth El that day but you know what now I'm gonna get a do over (points to himself)
Ryan: well I just wish he'd let us help him
Marissa: well he doesn't wanna be our charity case
Summer: (frowns) poor guy, slight of build an on crutches, he's kinda like our very own Tiny Tim (nods)
Ryan: (sighs) he was pretty upset yesterday but he'd just gotten the news so
Summer: yeah (shrugs) maybe if he jus thinks about it he'll change his mind
Ryan: (shrugs) exactly
Seth: so it's on (Ryan shrugs)
Marissa: alright while you guys keep working on it I'm gonna go talk to him (stands)
Ryan: alright (puts pool thing down, sighs) meet you at the diner
(Marissa kisses Ryan on the cheek)
Summer: (stands) bye (kisses Seth)
(Marissa and Summer leave together)
Seth: an we only have one hurdle left before you become a man
CUT TO: Cohen kitchen - Sandy is hanging a Christmas wreath on the wall
Sandy: a Bar Mitzvah (turns around) for Ryan (suprised)
(we see that Ryan and Seth are standing at the end of the bench together)
Seth: ooo it jus makes me feel all tingly hearin you say it
(we can now see that Kirsten is standing near Sandy. Sandy comes down and looks at Ryan and Seth)
Sandy: d'you have any idea how offensive this is (Kirsten looks at Sandy) (Seth motions no)
Ryan: we're not tryin to offend (looks at Seth) jus...help (Seth smiles)
Sandy: well, you gotta be Jewish to be Bar Mitzvah'ed lets jus start there
Kirsten: why are you guys doing this
Ryan: our friend Johnny he can't afford knee surgery i-it's like a fundraiser
Seth: which is where we need you mom (points)
Sandy: it's a sacred religious event (Seth frowns and shakes his head) a tradition that marks a Jewish child's obligation to observe the Ten Commandments
(Seth makes a snoring noise as if he fell asleep and woke up)
Seth: I'm sorry (Sandy smiles) an that's the problem with the Jews right there we have no concept of marketing
Sandy: (looks at Seth) you're on thin ice
Seth: now listen'a me, a long time ago moms team allowed Christmas to be about reindeers (Ryan looks at him) an snowmen an Tim Allen movies (Ryan nods) an I would say that that's a pretty religious holiday (points)
Kirsten: (looks at Seth) the birth of Christ, id say so
Seth: you betcha, well now the Bar Mitzvah is our greatest export possibility, it's got huge cross over potential
Ryan: iiiits an honorary Bar Mitzvah
Seth: it's a Chrismukkah (raises eyebrows) Bar-Mitz vahkkah (Sandy smiles, trying not to laugh)
Kirsten: I like it...an there helping their friend
Ryan: but, we need your blessing
Seth: that's right
Kirsten: the club is throwing a holiday party anyway we'll hijack it, we'll jus tell the Newpsies that we're raising money for the hospital (Seth clicks his finger) Sandy it could be really fun
(Ryan and Seth look at Sandy hopeful)
Sandy: its honorary
Seth: (smiles) hey (claps hands together)
Sandy: minimal Hebrew
Ryan: which I'm fine with
Sandy: no tallis no challah, no tefillin
Seth: hey, as long as people are dancin to YMCA an handin over envelopes of cash we're in
Sandy: then so are we
Seth: (hits Ryan on the back excitedly) Mazel Tov buddy (Ryan smiles)
CUT TO: Johnny's house - Marissa opens the door and walks in. she knocks on the slightly open door that leads to the kitchen and walks in
Marissa: hey, what're you doing
(we see Johnny sitting at the end of the table with his back facing Marissa, he doesn't turn around)
Johnny: solitaire
Marissa: are you winning (Johnny motions no) oh there's nothing worse than losing to yourself huh (Johnny looks up for a second and then back down) you got some time to talk
Johnny: actually I'm kinda busy
Marissa: (raises eyebrows) I can see that
Johnny: no I'm serious uh (picks up cell phone and looks at Marissa)
Marissa: (frowns, shrugs) w-what's your problem Johnny, I mean you don't want help from anyone or you jus don't want help from me
Johnny: my problem is my problem
(Johnny looks at Marissa. Marissa looks at him, the cell phone rings)
Johnny: I'm sorry I gotta take this
Marissa: (shrugs) I can wait
Johnny: ...it's private
(Johnny looks at Marissa and Marissa walks to the other end of the room. Johnny stands)
Johnny: hey man actually its-its not a good time
Marissa: (scoffs) you know what its fine (Johnny looks at her) ill go
(Marissa walks towards the door)
Johnny: Marissa (Marissa looks) I'm sorry ok
(Marissa looks at Johnny and goes to shut the door. Johnny moves further away)
Johnny: yeah sure I can meet you
(Marissa shuts the door)
CUT TO: Seth's bedroom - we see Ryan sitting on the bed looking through Seth's Bar Mitzvah photo album. there is a photo of Seth by himself, then on the other page one of him standing between Sandy and Kirsten, and underneath that one of just him and Kirsten. aww Ryan turns the page back and we see a big photo of Seth alone, it's the first photo in the album
Ryan: I can't believe this was you
(Seth is near Ryan dragging out a large trunk)
Seth: oh hard to believe I was once skinny an awkward I know
Ryan: (frowns) no but-but seriously you went out in public like this
(Seth is now sitting cross legged in front of the trunk)
Seth: its one'a the unfortunate truths of the Bar Mitzvah Ryan, it's the most awkward time in a young Jewish boys life (lifts lid) but also the most photographed
Ryan: mm is there a videotape too (raises eyebrows)
Seth: you would have'ta kill me first (looks in trunk) hey, my archery award from camp Takaho, my clay hot dog I made in seventh grade, my diorama of I know how the cage bird sings (looks) there we go (pulls out CD) this is the CD I trained with (Ryan looks at him) Rabbi Guttermen he does a lovely job (hands Ryan CD) very easy for you ta mimic
Ryan: ooo I don't know if I can do this man
Seth: it'll be over before you know it, listen you jus chant a little Torah, you dance a little hora an then we're golden, as soon as you hear that's what friends are for your done
Ryan: that songs Jewish
Seth: it might as well be (nods) it's a staple of every Bar Mitzvah, its you an all your friends, your arms around each other swaying, it's awesome
Ryan: (frowns) I thought all the kids you invited went to Luke's birthday party
Seth: (looks at Ryan) it's hypothetically (points) awesome but tomorrow we're gonna rewrite history
Ryan: well, I guess I should go study, an then I gotta meet up with Marissa
Seth: hey no slacking with the lady ok, you got twenty four hours to learn Hebrew, to read the Old Testament
Ryan: and humiliate myself in front'a (raises eyebrows) the whole town (starts to leave)
Seth: (calls) its better than humiliatin yourself in front'a no one, trust me
CUT TO: The hospital - Kirsten and Julie are walking together
Kirsten: oh Julie this is just what we need to lift us out of our holiday blues (opens door) we're throwing a party
Julie: it's called a Bar-Mitz vahkkah which sounds delightful Seth is definitely one of a kind but how is this gonna work
Kirsten: we raise a little money for the hospital, they throw in an arthiscopic surgery
Julie: an there gonna go for that
(Neil comes out of a door wearing a surgical mask and blue scrubs. he sees the backs of Julie and Kirsten)
Neil: Julie Cooper
(Kirsten and Julie look over)
Julie: hi Dr. have we met
Neil: (pulls down mask) well I certainly hope so your daughters living at my house (Kirsten smiles)
Julie: oh Neil I didn't even recognise you
Kirsten: hi Neil how are you
Neil: I'm good Kirsten, busy
Julie: well I should thank you again for letting Marissa live with you
Neil: oh there's no need to thank me, I know how unnerving a remodel can be (Julie looks down)
Kirsten: uh d'you know where the administrators office is (smiles)
Neil: Dr. Sing, what'do you want with that crank
Kirsten: we're throwing a little fundraiser for the hospital
Neil: (smiles) he's definitely not the guy to see about a party, besides he's in the Bahamas
Kirsten: (disappointed) you're kidding
Neil: but maybe I can help you, I'm head of plastic surgery an I'm on the board
(Kirsten and Julie look at each other suprised)
Julie: well yes well it's called a Bar-Mitz vahkkah
CUT TO: Cohen family room - the first thing we hear is the opening music of That's What Friends Are For and a close up of Seth's Bar Mitzvah on the TV. you can tell the footage is old. we see a few tables around the room, and a big white dance floor with two older couples dancing together. the shot changes to show that Seth is watching it, it's hard to describe his expression but it's clearly hard for him to watch, poor guy. on the screen we see Kirsten, Sandy and a Rabbi
Sandy: id like to introduce you to my father in-law (points) an here's the Nana, my mother
Nana: well hello (shakes Rabbis hand)
Sandy: my father in-law Caleb Nichol (points)
(the Rabbi shakes Caleb's hand but we don't see Caleb)
Caleb: shalom
(the camera moves around and stops on a young Seth sitting by himself at a table. he looks miserable. we then see Seth flinch at the image, poor guy. on the screen Kirsten and Sandy go over to him)
Kirsten: hey Seth (crouches) d'you wanna dance sweetheart
Seth: this song is called that's what friends are for, it's for your friends
Sandy: well, we're your friends (touches Seth's leg)
Seth: (upset) this is my funeral, not my Bar Mitzvah, no one showed up...an you said Summer Roberts was coming (rolls eyes)
Kirsten: (rubs Seth's arm) she RSVP'ed (whispers to Sandy) an so did alotta kids
Seth: I hate it here (closes eyes)
(we see Seth still watching, he's sort of frowning)
Seth: owww
Sandy: what, what
Kirsten: what's wrong honey
Seth: my rapid palette expanders killing me
Sandy: oooh
(Seth screws up his face and touches his teeth. we hear a door open. Ryan comes in and Seth turns off the TV)
Seth: hey, portnoi? how's it goin
Ryan: uh gotta meet Marissa, I'm late lost track'a time
Seth: that's the Torah for you right there, once you start unscrolling its (grins) really hard to stop
Ryan: (looks at Seth) I'm a dead man tomorrow by the way
Seth: yeah well listen, in all seriousness I think it's pretty great what your doin for Johnny considering everything
Ryan: yeah, maybe it'll make me a saint
Seth: Jews don't believe in saints (shakes head) just really good stand up comics
(Ryan leaves and Seth turns the TV back on .we hear the YMCA music. Seth mouthes it and does the actions with his hands, lol)
[SCENE_BREAK]
CUT TO: The diner - Marissa is sitting in a booth by herself, the waitress walks over to her
W: can I help you
Marissa: hey I'm waiting for someone, it'll jus be a minute
W: ok (walks away)
(Marissa looks around and then notices Johnny standing by himself, through the window. she watches for a second and then walks over to the door, she watches for a second and then pokes her head around the corner so she can see better. we see what she is seeing which is Johnny and another guy, and Johnny hands over money. we see Johnny look around nervously and Marissa moves her head back behind the corner so he cant see her. Johnny walks away and then the guy follows after a few seconds. Marissa moves away from where she is standing - the next thing we see is Johnny standing on the beach by himself near the water. Marissa walks over to him)
Marissa: hey, Johnny (Johnny looks over) are you ok
Johnny: ...not really
Marissa: hey look you're gonna get better
Johnny: what if I don't (Marissa looks at him) my whole life I've dreamt of one thing, I was so close to makin that happen, it was gonna change my life
Marissa: ...well that can still happen
(we now see Ryan arriving at the diner. he walks in and sees the empty booth that Marissa was at, he looks around frowning and then leaves - we can now see Marissa and Johnny on the beach again)
Johnny: I'm sorry I've been taking this out on you, I know I've made things weird (Marissa closes her eyes) but sometimes knowin that you're pullin for me...it's the only thing that keeps me goin
Marissa: hey (touches Johnny's shoulder) we're gonna get through this, ok, we'll get through it together
(Johnny looks at Marissa and then leans in to kiss her, Marissa turns her head away so they hug instead. Johnny closes his eyes. Marissa puts her hand on his back. Johnny looks frustrated with himself for what he did - we then see Ryan standing on the pier watching them hugging, he turns and walks away)
CUT TO: Cohen backyard the next morning - Ryan comes out of the pool house followed by Seth
Seth: what'do you mean your not doin it
Ryan: I mean I'm done helpin this kid
Seth: why did something happen
Ryan: no somethins gonna happen
Seth: well cant it jus wait till after the holidays
(Ryan and Seth are now inside)
Ryan: no, it can't (looks at Seth) Johnny's in love with Marissa and she can't seem to get enough'a the guy
Sandy: ooh, sounds like there's a low grade relationship issue brewing
Seth: very high grade, its level five
Sandy: what's the problem
Ryan: no there is no problem (looks at Sandy) I'm jus not humiliating myself tonight (starts to leave)
Sandy: (calls) what, your quitting (Ryan leaves) this is bad news
(Seth shows his teeth and nods. Kirsten comes in)
Kirsten: great news, so Neil Roberts cleared the fundraiser with the board, Julie an I talked to the Newpsies, we're all set for tonight (smiles) you were right (kisses Sandy) mm (Seth frowns) this is gonna be the best Chrismukkah ever (raises eyebrows) I gotta go set up (leaves)
Seth: that was...remarkable timing by mom right there
Sandy: oy humbug (looks at Seth worried)
CUT TO: Summers backyard - Neil is standing next to a huge Christmas tree. Summer is near him and there are a heap of poinsettia pot plants sitting near the tree. Neil is hanging an ornament
Neil: well sweetheart I have'ta say your mom taught you well (looks at Summer) she use'ta spend hours picking out a tree seeing how dry the pines were
(Summer is now also at the tree)
Summer: mm if it's dry say goodbye
Neil: how much sap was on the bark
Summer: sticky but critical
Neil: an how the tree looked with all of your presents underneath it
Summer: anything with presents for me looks good (Neil smiles)
Summer: ...dad
Neil: what baby
Summer: ...why did mom leave (looks at Neil)
(Neil looks at Summer and continues hanging ornaments)
Summer: well...I mean I was only thirteen...years old
Neil: (looks at Summer) your mom...well she jus didn't like it here with me I guess
Summer: I remember when you told me the news...I think that was the worst day of my life
Neil: I know an you were already upset with me cause I didn't let you go to Luke Wards birthday party
Summer: (looks at Neil) really
Neil: yeah you had already RSVP'ed to some other engagement
Summer: (frowns)...(realises) oh my god (smiles) yeah
Neil: not that it mattered, you didn't come outta your room for three days, when you found out you...cried
(Summer sighs and picks up an ornament from the box. Neil goes over to her and touches her arms)
Neil: but we've done ok
Summer: yeah (sad smile)
Neil: an your step mother she's very sweet on ya
Summer: well that's because she's medicated (pouts then smiles) (Neil looks at her) I'm sorry...I jus miss mom sometimes
Neil: I know (touches Summers chin) (softly) me too (Summer smiles) I've got rounds, I wont be long
Summer: kay
(as Neil leaves Seth comes through the door)
Neil: Seth
Seth: Dr. Roberts (to Summer) did you see that (points) that was a breakthrough moment for us (Summer looks at him sadly) everything ok
Summer: (almost crying) yeah...jus the holidays can be hard you know
Seth: yeah, can I help
(Seth puts his arm around Summer which brings her head to his. Summer closes her eyes and Seth kisses her head. aww)
Summer: you already have
(we see a shot of them standing together. aww)
CUT TO: The diner - we see Johnny walk in, he goes over and sits across from Marissa
Marissa: hey, thanks for meeting me
Johnny: (sits, sighs) of course, after last night, you really talked me off the ledge
Marissa: yyeah (looks at Johnny) I kinda wanted ta talk about last night (Johnny looks at her) I jus feel weird about what happened
Johnny: nothing happened
Marissa: I mean well there was a definite (raises eyebrows) vibe
Johnny: that I like you, it's not a vibe it's the truth (Marissa looks down) which I've already shared with you, unintentionally, but you still seem to wanna hang out
Marissa: (raises eyebrows) I do, I jus...I-I wanna stay friends
Johnny: (sighs) can we...start over
Marissa: yeah, of course I jus...I mean I kinda need to know that everything's ok with you
Johnny: my knees screwed up and I give off a vibe but other than that
Marissa: (leans forward) I mean w-what were you doing last night, cause I saw you out here with this guy an
Johnny: look I thought we jus made peace (Marissa looks at him) I told you I'm...taking care'a things
Marissa: ...w...what'does that mean
Johnny: it means...don't ask questions (looks at Marissa) you don't want answers to (Marissa looks down) lets jus leave it at that ok
(Johnny leaves. Marissa watches him, she looks worried)
CUT TO: The pool house - Ryan is lying on the bed watching TV and we hear a knock. Sandy walks in
Sandy: hey kid, mind turnin off the TV
Ryan: I don't really feel like talking
Sandy: oh that's good cause I do, you can listen (turns off TV) that's right (sits) its time for the big Sandy Cohen uplifting speech
Ryan: look Sandy I've got my reasons
Sandy: I'm sure you do (shrugs) jus like I had mine when I didn't want you to do this crazy thing
Ryan: sorry to let you down
Sandy: well it's not just me, there's also Kirsten...she has her heart set on it, an the hospital there all excited about it (Ryan looks away) an your friend Johnny who, whatever he's done, he could really use your help (nods)
Ryan: he can still have the event jus...do it without me
Sandy: oh that'd be missing the point (stands) the whole thing about a Bar Mitzvah is, its about becoming a man, not that you aren't one already but, if there were ever a time for an adult moment, this is it (Ryan looks down) whatever's goin on, set it aside until after tonight
Ryan: id really be swallowing my pride
Sandy: I'm not sayin it tastes good, but (shrugs, raises eyebrows)
Ryan: you gotta do the right thing, yeah feels like I do that alot
Sandy: that's cause Ryan Atwood...your a mensch (Ryan looks at him) an after tonight I'm gonna tell you what that means (smiles)
(Ryan looks at him and then looks away almost smiling)
CUT TO: Julies trailer - Julie is standing in front of an average tree decorating it, she bends over to do something and her bright red g-string is sitting above her jeans. she goes back over to the tree and turns the lights on, just as they light up the power goes out
Julie: (frustrated, stomps foot) Gus! damnit
(Julie walks over to the door and just as she goes to leave Kirsten opens it)
Kirsten: oh
Julie: oh
Kirsten: Julie, what're you doing, we're suppose'ta be setting up
Julie: yeah, right well you know I jus...felt like telling overdressed oversexed Newpsies how to hang streamers wasn't gonna make me feel any better
Kirsten: an I thought we were doing this for charity
Julie: well of course...its just I feel like the Newpsies won't get me anymore its not like I can have them over for poptarts an cockfights
Kirsten: you're avoiding Marissa aren't you
Julie: (looks at Kirsten) I had no problem keeping other secrets from her
Kirsten: Julie tell her the truth, she's your daughter it's the holidays (Julie looks at her) you should be together
Julie: ...your right...ill go over there this evening an do it
(Kirsten smiles and leaves, Julie shuts the door and looks worried)
CUT TO: The pool house - Marissa has the exact same expression as Julie did, she is sitting on the edge of the chair staring blankly. Ryan comes out of the bathroom and Marissa looks over. he looks soooo nice! all suited up with slicked back hair
Marissa: (stands) I haven't heard from you all day
Ryan: been studying, big night tonight
Marissa: well I thought we were gonna have dinner last night
Ryan: eh, alot of Old Testament to cover
Marissa: (nods) well, I haven't heard you use that one before (Ryan doesn't look up) an it's probably good anyway
Ryan: hows that good
Marissa: because if you had shown up you might've seen me an Johnny an it (Ryan looks over) might've seemed like something it wasn't
(Ryan looks at Marissa, Marissa looks at him)
Ryan: ...I saw you guys (Marissa nods) I have a bad habit of showing up at the wrong time (moves closer to Marissa)
Marissa: yeah well nothing happened, I promise (raises eyebrows) we were jus talking
Ryan: (sighs, sits on the bed) looked like more than that (looks at Marissa)
Marissa: he's in bad shape...I'm worried about him
Ryan: well I'm startin to be to I (looks down, then at Marissa) what is this thing you have
Marissa: what thing
Ryan: always helpin these kinds'a guys
(Marissa crouches in front of Ryan so their heads are level)
Marissa: (smiles) what, the wounded loner types, sometimes they turn out to be good guys (looks at Ryan) I don't have feelings for Johnny, I'm just worried about him (stands, sighs) ...I think he might be up to something dangerous
Ryan: (half laughs) Johnny doesn't seem like the dangerous type
Marissa: yeah well (raises eyebrows) he's scared (Ryan looks at her) an desperate
Ryan: what'do you think it is
Marissa: I don't know, I mean dealing drugs (shrugs) we're jus so close to helping him
(Ryan frowns, Marissa looks at him worried, Ryan sighs)
Ryan: alright, alright well ill talk to him (stands) and uh...ill see you tonight
(Marissa nods and Ryan leaves)
CUT TO: Johnny's house - Ryan walks into the living room and Johnny's mom follows.
Ryan: so uh how's Johnny doin
J's mom: (puts hands out) you know, first his girlfriend then the accident, I jus don't know what he would do without all you guys
Ryan: well that's what friends are for right (points, softly) it's in there
J's mom: yeah his rooms just down the hall
Ryan: thanks
J's mom: ok
(Ryan walks towards the hall)
Ryan: (calls) Johnny, hey man
Johnny: (off screen) Ryan, hey uh ill jus be a minute
(we can hear water running from the shower)
Ryan: yeah...(softly to himself) take your time
(Ryan goes into Johnny's room and looks around. he opens a cupboard door looks and then closes it, he then opens a drawer looks, closes it and then another one. he looks around again and notices an open backpack, he moves some books forward and lifts up a brown paper bag, there are what look like skateboard wheels inside. Ryan puts the bag down and stands just as Johnny comes out of the bathroom, drying his hair)
Johnny: hey man
Ryan: (smiles) hey, sorry to show up unannounced
Johnny: um, no problem, is everything cool
Ryan: yeah, yeah yeah I actually I'm jus trying to uh (looks at Johnny) tryin'a get you to come to this party
Johnny: it's not still for me right
Ryan: no no no, no we found a different cause I'm um...I'm getting Bar Mitzvah'ed (Johnny looks at him confused) you'd have'ta know Seth better
Johnny: well um thanks for the invite man but I got some stuff to do so
Ryan: it'll be fun, you could use some fun
Johnny: yeah (laughs) um I really can't
Ryan: (a tad pushy) sure you can (smiles) (Johnny looks at him) everyone wants to see you, whatever your doin it can wait right
(Johnny looks at Ryan, Ryan, looks at him not letting up)
Johnny: um...ok uh well I jus gotta get ready, ill be five minutes
Ryan: great (Johnny nods) I'm gonna embarrass myself in front of alotta people (starts to leave)
Johnny: hey man (Ryan looks) thanks
Ryan: yeah (nods)
(Johnny shuts the door and sits on his bed, he moves his backpack and behind it is another bag from which he pulls out a gun. he sits it in his hand and looks at it, then looks up and we see his profile)
CUT TO: Ryan's Bar-Mitz vahkkah - we see a huge photo of little Ryan in a red baseball uniform, he's wearing a red hat with D on it. surrounding the photo is this white border that you can sign, there are a heap of signatures already and Seth is signing it. the camera zooms out to show that Summer is standing with him
Seth: look at all them signatures, attendance is amazing
Summer: so Cohen no one came to you're Bar Mitzvah (pouts)
Seth: uh not no one (shakes head) the Nana came uhhh Rabbi Guttermen swung by after the ceremony so
Summer: (looks at Seth sadly) that is so sad
Seth: well apparently me in the yamaka was not as enticing a draw as Luke in camo pants
(Sandy comes over)
Sandy: hey
(we now see that Marissa Ryan and Johnny are also there, just standing a little away from Seth and Summer)
Sandy: the photographer has summoned us for our family photos, and Ryan our orthodontist (points) has offered to take your braces off for the big day (Ryan frowns)
Seth: oh couldnt'a done that for me
(Seth, Summer, Johnny, Marissa and Ryan start walking over. Ryan grabs Marissa's arm to hold her back. he looks at Johnny, Johnny looks at him smiles and then keeps walking. Marissa looks at Ryan)
Ryan: don't let him outta your sight ok
Marissa: (raises eyebrows) your ok with that
Ryan: yeah, well, until I can figure out what he's up to
(Marissa and Ryan keep walking)
CUT TO: The Roberts front door - Julie rings the doorbell, Neil answers the door
Neil: Julie (smiles) look at you, whoa
Julie: (smiles) uh I hope I'm not disturbing you
Neil: come on in (motions)
Julie: thankyou (goes in) I haven't been here in so many years I forgot how majestic your home is
Neil: (shuts door) well luckily there are alot of...aging vain people in this town
Julie: (smiles) is Marissa here, I was hoping ta catch up with her
Neil: no she already left for the event
Julie: oh, well, just as well I suppose (sad smile)
Neil: would you like a drink (Julie smiles)
(the next thing we see is Julie and Neil outside at the bar. Neil is making the drinks and Julie is sitting at the bar)
Neil: well I think Marissa's a great girl, she's very good for Summer, gives her an ally in the house when I'm working
Julie: well, Marissa wasn't a fan of my remarriage either, but hopefully ill have her out of your hair soon, remodels almost finished
(Neil looks at Julie, Julie looks at him. Neil pours the drinks)
Neil: little white lies we tell our kids
Julie: excuse me
Neil: well I've been telling Summer that everything's great also, truth is I'm looking down the barrel of divorce number two (looks at Julie)
Julie: oh, Neil I'm so sorry
Neil: oh don't be, the way my wife self medicates she could be a pharmacist...ben miserable for years
Julie: I live in a trailer park (Neil looks at her) (smiles) if only I could say that to Marissa
Neil: sometimes its ok to keep our kids out of harms way
Julie: I jus feel terrible lying to her, we've come so far
Neil: you're remodeling your life, its all about how you slice it
Julie: yes well, you are the surgeon (Neil raises his eyebrows)
(Julie and Neil clink glasses)
Julie: d'you have any interest in a party
(Neil drinks and looks at Julie)
CUT TO: Ryan's Bar-Mitz vahkkah - we see the flash from a camera and Sandy, Kirsten, Seth and Ryan standing together. there is a photographer in front of them. we then see Marissa and Johnny standing nearby. Marissa hugs a woman
Marissa: its nice to see you again (smiles)
(Ryan looks over in the direction of Marissa and Johnny)
Photographer: uh Ryan (motions with finger) over here please, everybody eyes right to the lens
(everyone smiles, and yes Seth looks uncomfortable, lol. the photographer takes another photo)
Photographer: terrific
Summer: (to a couple) let me show you to your seats (to Marissa) I was born to usher (touches Marissa as she walks by)
Sandy: Marissa (Marissa looks) come, join us (motions) your practically family
Seth: I think technically she is
(Marissa smiles and stands next to Ryan. Ryan puts his arm around her waist)
Photographer: over here everybody, one two (takes photo)
(Johnny starts moving away from everyone)
Photographer: great lets jus have one with the Bar Mitzvah boy
Ryan: (sarcastically) yay
Marissa: ill be right back
(Marissa notices that Johnny isn't where he was and looks through the crowd for him, she looks worried - the next thing we see is the mic being put on the stand on stage. Sandy, Seth and Ryan are standing on the side of the stage. Sandy points at Ryan and mouths something. Ryan takes out his speech and Sandy goes over to the mic)
Sandy: (into mic) how are you good people'a Newport Beach (everyone claps) welcome to the first and quite possibly the very last Chrismukkah Bar-Mitz vahkkah
(Marissa pokes her head through the curtain and goes over to Ryan)
Sandy: (off screen) a charity event for the Hoag hospital, this is an honorary...
Marissa: (frowns) Johnny's gone
Ryan: what
Marissa: yeah, I lost him I don't know how but he can't be far
Ryan: uh ok, alright uh ill be right back
Marissa: ok
(Ryan leaves and Seth looks over at Sandy on the stage)
Sandy: (off screen) ...fundraiser, I hope you find it entertaining an enlightening, an if not we've thrown in a big party for good measure, now the young man who'll soon become a real man is Ryan Atwood, I'm sure some of you have heard of him, but none of you have seen him like this, lets hear it for Ryan Atwood (everyone claps)
Marissa: (to Seth) go
Seth: no
Marissa: (raises eyebrows) do something, you gotta
Seth: no, I am not reliving this once was horrible enough
(Sandy claps and looks at Marissa and Seth standing there)
Marissa: ok, come on, stop, please
(the camera goes from Sandy clapping to Seth reluctantly walking on stage, Kirsten looks suprised. Sandy stops clapping and looks at Seth)
Seth: (taps mic) Seth Cohen hello (moves stand closer to Sandy) uhhh Ryan...forgot his glasses so he's going to be right back
(during Seth's speech Summer pokes her head through the curtain. Marissa looks at her. Summer looks at Marissa with a "what's going on" expression. Summer stands next to Marissa and Marissa looks worried. they both look at Seth and Sandy, Marissa frowns)
Sandy: Ryan doesn't wear glasses
Seth: he does when he's reading from right to left
(the next thing we see is Ryan out the front of the club coming down the stairs just as Johnny drives off. Ryan runs to the range rover and gets in - we now see Seth on stage again)
Seth: an so that is how I came up...with Chrismukkah, because you cant have Chris...without a little mukkah (claps) huh (no one reacts) who here (points) is familiar with the story...of Chanukah (a woman frowns) no, red sea pedestrians, ok, well today is your lucky day because Summer Roberts (motions) will you please join me on stage (camera shows no that one came out) Summer Roberts (holds open hand out)
(Summer shakes her head at Seth. Marissa looks at Summer and elbows her as if to say "go" Kirsten looks confused)
Seth: Summer, can I welcome you to the stage, please
(Summer looks at Marissa, grabs her arm and heads towards the stage reluctantly)
Marissa: (suprised) owww
(we see Summer come out on the stage reluctantly, holding Marissa's hand so she goes with her, lol. they both smile)
Seth: she is gonna be portraying the part of the Judah Maccabi (points) an Marissa Cooper will be portraying the miraculous oil (Summer lets go of Marissa's hand and puts her arm around her back) oo I hope I didn't give away the ending
(Marissa and Summer look at each other)
CUT TO: The road - we see Johnny's car go through an orange light and turn the corner. Ryan is sitting after the car after Johnny's and moves into the left lane to follow Johnny around the corner. the light changes from orange to red so Ryan has to stop, from there though he sees Johnny park at RockView mini mart across the road. Johnny gets out and we see that Ryan is still watching him. we then see Johnny put the gun behind his back and tuck it into the waist of his pants, underneath his jacket. Ryan looks worried - we then see the worker at the mini mart start to lock up just as Johnny goes in, it's empty except for one woman who puts her things on the counter to be served. Johnny is standing behind a shelf as if hes browsing
Worker: we're closin up
(the worker goes back behind the counter and turns off a light so the section that Johnny is standing in is now a little darker. Johnny looks around almost nervously. the worker rings up the woman's purchase and looks over at Johnny, Johnny looks down. the worker looks at Johnny suspiciously then hands the woman her change. Johnny walks a little bit and then looks over at the worker again. the worker stares back at Johnny so he looks away and walks a bit more. Johnny looks over at the worker again who is still looking at him. the worker takes his keys off a hook and Johnny looks away. the worker looks at Johnny and then slowly reaches down, we see what he is touching which is of course his own gun. Johnny again looks at the worker and the worker looks at him. Johnny reaches for his gun and starts to walk over to the counter when Ryan comes in the door)
Ryan: hey man
(the worker look
Plan: A: a holiday plan; Q: What does Seth have? A: Ryan; Q: Who is the honorary bar mitzvah for? A: the funds; Q: What will Seth donate to Johnny's surgery? A: Julie + Summer's; Q: Who's dad is Seth trying to find out about? Summary: Seth's a man with a holiday plan: Hold an honorary bar mitzvah for Ryan and donate the funds to Johnny's surgery. Now try to convince Ryan to do it... and persuade Johnny to accept it. Also: Julie + Summer's dad? Stay tuned!