Ted (2030): Children, if there is a major theme in this story, and I swear, it's almost, really, not quite at the end of the story.This is timing. The timing makes all the difference. For example, I never met your mother if it was not for a wedding.The last of the weddings that I thought would be. Ted enters a room where Barney.
Barney: What do you think of this tie?
Ted: Thank you, God. Barney Stinson needs you just before her marriage, is that there must be a dead prostitute in the closet, right?
Barney: This one is better?
Ted: The tie is well, and you know, this is perfectly normal pinball shortly before his marriage.
Barney: I'm not scared. It's just that I think once I'd put this tie, I could never remove it. I should wear it again and again. And of course this tie is fine now, but how I will cope when it becomes big and it annoy me? Do I made a mistake? Is what I would have been happier with the other tie? Ted, I can tell you a big secret?
Ted: Yeah, sure.
Barney: I do not really talk about the tie.
Ted: Yeah, I realized that Barney.
Barney: I wonder if this will be a disaster. And if it was the worst of all marriage?
Ted: Impossible. It has already been the worst of all marriage.
Barney: That of Punchy.
Ted: Marshall has really ruined all that.
Ted (2030): The story of Uncle Marshall has ruined everything in my friend's wedding Punchy starts in September 2011. September 2011...
Ted (2030): Punchy asked me to be his witness. Barney, Robin, Marshall and Lily to join Ted McLaren's.
Ted: Hi. Guys before you go that you bother to read my toast for the wedding?
Barney: Yeah, no problem, of course.
Ted: Ok Ted pulls out a thick binder.
Barney: Woow.
Ted: There are several different versions.
Robin: Ted, why you work so hard on this speech? Punchy has applied with a karaoke microphone in a bowling alley.
Ted: Ok, I have never said that, but over the years, some of my friends from high school asked me to give speeches at their weddings, and they have not gone well. Flashback In 2008...
Ted: These marriages have become associated as the worst moment of my life. The love between Joel and Mora is magnificent. I thought I had the same thing... Until my fiancee left me at the altar last week. I was asked not to talk about that, so I will not do. I sit in front of her home at night sometimes. It changed hairstyle. (In 2009...) After losing my job last week, I asked not to give this toast... (A man tries to take her microphone) No, no, no! The happy couple should hear. It's over. But from the ashes of your divorce statistically probable, hope can be reborn. That is why I opened my own architectural firm Mosbius Designs. (3 months later...) Mosbius Designs went bankrupt. But the love of Alex and Jessica reminds us that... Oh, my God!
Punchy: A Schmosby classic. End flashback
Robin: Wow. Punchy has posted weaknesses of your life?
Ted: Oh, not that much. Now I am a total disaster for all my old high school friends. And a lot of people in Finland are the big stuff. This is why I have to type this toast.
Barney: Ted, you can hit you something else to this marriage.Let the big binder. The only thing you have to bring it to Cleveland.
Ted (2030): This fall I became the youngest designer in the history of New York by building a skyscraper. This earned me a brilliant article in a magazine. I plan to frame it. Uncle Barney had different plans.
Barney: Here's your speech. "In single file, girls. No big. "
Ted: This is ridiculous.
Barney: Yeah, you're right. This is Cleveland. "In single file, girls. "
GENERIC
Ted: I will not Punchy's wedding to brag... cover of a magazine.
Robin: Barney, he did not need your advice. You never called Nora.
Flashback
Ted (2030): Children, you remember Nora. But the other day...
Barney: I'll call you.
Nora: It's never too late, Barney. End flashback
Robin: Or you called? It's not that I want to know. So what? I do not care. You did?
Barney: I did not call.
Robin: Slim, Barney. I was really, really, really for both of you.Who wants chicken wings?
Lily: Me. Or maybe we should make the hot sauce on Barney, now that's a sissy.
Barney: I'm not a wimp. Nora wanted a professional. Not me.That's it. And yes, Robin, I want chicken wings.
Lily: Cannibal.
Robin: Ok, next tour for me.
Marshall: Oh no, no, it does that.
Ted (2030): Lily and Marshall had just heard that they have a baby. Flashback Lily and Marshall discuss their room.
Marshall: I can not wait to tell everyone.
Lily: Baby, no one can tell anyone. Not before three months. I do not want you to have bad luck.
Marshall: It's a bit superstitious, do not you think?
Lily: Whenever you take a plane, you lick.
Marshall: Has it been crashed once?
Lily: Do not say a word until we know that all is well. Ok?
Marshall: Ok, so everything will be okay. Promised.
Lily: How can you guarantee that? Marshall, lifting the shirt of Lily: Come here. End flashback
Marshall: I'm so happy. I do not know how we will keep this secret for three months.
Lily: Relax. It will be easy.
Bartender: What'll it be?
Lily: Four beer, plus a non-alcoholic.
Bartender: You're pregnant! Come here!
Ted (2030): So we all went to my hometown where we had planned to celebrate the marriage of Punchy. Uncle Barney had other plans.
Barney: Stand ready, Cleveland. The last guy who has conned you so hard and then disappeared was LeBron James.
Robin: You're going to try to make you anybody here?
Barney: What?
Robin: My God, Barney, tonight is a magical night between the annoying friend of Ted and that is what this-face. A little respect.
Barney: It's not just be someone. This is a market survey. You see, my legendary success rate of 83%...
Ted: 17. He always reverse. Barney:... never happens by accident. Each technique used to drag a woman has been thoroughly field tested. By eliminating improper techniques in small markets like Cleveland. I know which will go to New York. For example, tonight marks the inauguration of the escaped prisoner. Do prisoners on the run are sexy?
All: No, no.
Barney: We'll never know unless I try tonight.
Punchy: Schmosby! Oh! sh1t head! What's up?!
Marshall: You really feel this ring now.
Kelly: Glad you all here.
Punchy: Open Bar. Bottoms up, sh1t head, because it is the father of Kelly who pays, and he hates me.
Kelly: It's true.
Punchy: Who drinks? Go, go.
Lily: Oh, no, thank you.
Punchy: You're pregnant or what?
Lily: Let's be crazy! You're going to drink for two tonight, baby.
Marshall: I'll do it for the child.
Kelly and Punchy: Go Browns!
Marshall: During the season of super bowl, but if they mean the super bowl. Go Vikings.
Barney: Prisoners on the run are not sexy. At the same time it was a faulty concept. Next step, the patient zero.
Robin: Lily, you go getting drunk tonight.
Lily: That's all you, baby.
Marshall: I'd to 4 glasses without eating.
Lily: In nine months I would push a baby Eriksen with a pumpkin head out of my hoo-haa. I think Dad can handle a few cocktails and more.
Marshall: Well done.
Lily: Hakuna Matata!
Marshall: I gotta go get some air.
Ted (2030): Children, do you remember when I told you that Marshall has ruined the marriage of Punchy? (Marshall is close to the cake) It was not that.
Robin: My God, have you seen this guy. I want Barney is my new boyfriend. No, thank you.
Lily: Wait a minute. It's your voice of truth.
Robin: My what?
Lily: Whenever you try to pretend that you're kidding but in fact it is profoundly true, you are using that voice. Flashback Robin is watching TV with Lily.
Robin: I would like the Spice Girls back together. They were awesome. The worst. (At the bar...) It was me. I farted. It is this type. (At Ted's apartment...) birthday gift from my father. All I want from him is that he tells me he loves me. Just kidding.This pen is sufficient. It's enough. It is completely sufficient. End flashback
Lily: Oh, my God. You always have feelings for Barney. Admit it, you still have feelings for Barney.
Robin: You're more drunk than I thought. I mean, look at this type.
Barney: Wait, wait, wait, before you leave, please do respond to this survey to help me better to seduce you in the future.What does not work for you in this game of seduction? Does A do not you think that I hold a bailiff of the world? B or fingernails disgusts you? (He shows her nails, very long and the girl goes away) Sea...
Man: Eager to hear your toast, Schmosby.
Punchy: Yeah, here is the whiner.
Ted: Wait. You encourage me to cry at your own wedding?
Punchy: Yes, everyone encourages you. Plus some new friends from Finland. Hey, good luck, Schmos.
Barney: Take that. Shows them how much you're great. Say your ad, not ashamed, say that.
Ted: I've told you, I'm not here to brag, ok?
Marshall: That's it. You're too polite to brag. Well, fine. Let me do it. Because the only person on Earth who loves more than Ted Mosby Marshall Eriksen Marshall Eriksen is drunk. So here we go.
[SCENE_BREAK]
It takes a rugby ball and throws...
Ted (2030): Children, do you remember when I see have said that Marshall would ruin the marriage of Punchy and Kelly? It was not that either.
Robin: Barney and I have tried and failed. It was there two years. Why would I start? It would not make sense.
Lily: It does not make sense. It's chemistry. Listen, I always them a sixth sense for these things. And now that I'm pregnant... deep in me in my uterus, I see things more clearly. You and Barney have that kind of chemistry that is still there.
Robin: Really? That's why he tries to Lebron anything that moves?
Barney: It does not work for you because A vampires are offside, B or pretend that I invented Facebook was a bit too? The woman leaves.
Lily: You're the reason why he never called Nora. You're the reason why he only tests tonight. And you're the reason why he continues to try to impress. Chemistry.
Marshall: Wow! Ted! It's really you on the cover of New York.Now, you say "yes."
Ted: Stop please.
Man: Schmosby. What is this magazine?
Ted: You know what, Clay? It's nothing.
Marshall: You know what? This is not nothing. Clay, my friend Ted has designed a building, Clay. What do you do, Clay?
Clay: Well, I'm still working in the rental car...
Marshall: Hear, hear, Clay. No major publication does write about your small agency?
Clay: No, no, no items. My life is monotonous. I think the only news is that little thing.
Marshall: Oh my God, look at this little baby. She's so cute. All I want is to put her little feet in my mouth. You have created something really beautiful.
Clay: It's all for me.
Ted: I mean, it's still huge... The building, you know?
Marshall: Hey, kid. (With another couple and their child...) So this little angel is already every night?
Ted: I spent many sleepless nights... to design this building.(The baby makes a return to the magazine) Nothing symbolism there.
Robin: Forget it. There is no chemistry between Barney and me. It's over.
Lily: Oh really? Prove it. Go talk to him.
Robin: Why should I tell him about that?
Lily: Because in the depths of himself, even if he does not know yet, Barney wants to be with you. And if it does not happen, he deserves to know.
Robin: Well. Barney, just to make things clear...
Barney: I know what you gonna say. Show in Cleveland, how it goes. He pulls him and takes him to dance.
Robin: Barney... I... Barney's phone rings.
Barney: Sorry. Oh, my God, this is Nora. She finally ended up reminding me.
Robin: Wait, you said you'd never recalled.
Barney: I lied. I called, like, five times. Wait, wait! You guys you know better than anyone how I show this stuff. Will you help me please? I would like just once to see what it feels like when you do not quite fair.
Robin: Yeah.
Barney: Hi Nora. Thank you for reminding me. The reason I'm calling...
Robin: To tell you how I feel.
Barney: To tell you how I feel.
Robin: I know it did not work the first time...
Barney: I know it did not work the first time... Robin:... and it makes no sense... Barney:... and it makes no sense... Robin:... but I can not help thinking that goes well together. Barney:... but I can not help thinking that goes well together.
Robin: Is there a part of you that wants to try again?
Barney: Is there a part of you that wants to try again? Barney thank Robin walking away. Marshall returns to see Lily with a baby in her arms.
Marshall: Baby, I can not do that. I have to tell someone that we are pregnant.
Lily: Eriksen, be strong. Keep it a secret.
Marshall: There are babies everywhere. It's minefield of sweetness. Look at this little b*st*rd.
Lily: Marshall, stop that. Remains strong. Can not you let me hold a little baby with his little cheeks... so cute... and little arms and little legs... This little b*st*rd has dimples. We will tell everyone I'm pregnant.
Marshall: Yeah! Robin comes out on the terrace and found there Ted.
Ted: Are you okay?
Robin: No. And you?
Ted: Not really. Want to talk?
Robin: Not even a little bit.
Ted: It might help you feel better.
Robin: Okay, well, we'll make a deal. You go first and then I still do not tell you what's wrong.
Ted: Okay. All my friends from high school, are there with their wives and children. And me? My appointment is a dirty magazine.
Robin: As in high school. Sorry, I had to.
Ted: I've always believed in fate, you know? I will go in a magazine Bagel, I would see a pretty girl in the queue reading my favorite novel, whistling the song I had all week in my head, and I would think, "Wow, this is perhaps the good. " Now I think "I just know that bitch will take the latest Bagel."
Robin: You've been too focused on your work.
Ted: No, it's more than that. I stopped believing. Not like some depressed, I cry during my speech. Not the way I had not even noticed, until tonight. It's just that every day I think I believe a little less and a little less and less. And... it sucks. What should I do about it, Scherbatsky?
Robin: You're Ted Mosby. You do it again to believe it.
Ted: What, in fate?
Robin: A chemistry. If there is alchemy, you just need another thing.
Ted: What is it?
Robin: The timing. But the timing is a bitch.
Ted: Hey, we always have our market 40 years? If you are still only 40 years...
Robin: I'm all yours. Unrelated, architects make a lot?
Ted: Not enough.
Robin: sh1t.
Man: Schmosby to you in two minutes.
Robin: Ok, promise me two things. One, believe in you again, and two, do not cry during the toast, Schmosby.
Ted: I promise.
Lily: We're having a baby.
Robin: For real?
Lily: For real.
Ted, Barney and Robin: Oh! Oh!
Voices: A little attention everyone! This is the time for which we are all here tonight. The speech Schmosby!
Ted: We are here tonight to celebrate love. The love that brings us a new life...
Marshall: Hey! (Marshall took the microphone from the hands of Ted) This is not a whiner. They are tears of joy. Ted is happy for his friends because it's the best guy I know. And do you know why he is happy? For the beautiful young lady is pregnant here.
Kelly: How did you know...? It must have a secret!
Ted (2030): It turns out that... Flashback
Kelly: Will the Browns! Kelly gives his glass to Punchy and he just takes his own drinking.
Marshall: In the season's Super Bowl, but if they mean the Super Bowl. Go Vikings! End flashback
Kelly's father: How dare you? This is my daughter, sort of junk.
Punchy: You always pay for it all, eh?
Punchy's father: "Species of junk"? This is my son.
Ted (2030): And that's how Marshall has destroyed the marriage of Punchy. But we did not care. It would be a sixth member in our family. Back to today...
Ted: No marriage will be as bad as that one, huh?
Barney: I chose the right tie, huh?
Ted: You've nailed. And be glad it is not the tie-duck. Oh, the tie-duck.
Ted (2030): This is a good story. I will return. We are not even close to the end.
Barney: You're a good best man, Ted. You'll cry during the toast, right?
Ted: Oh, I'll cry too. A knock on the door.
Barney: Between.
Lily: Ted, the bride wants to see you. Seriously? Will you be wearing this tie?
Plan: A: a mystery bride; Q: Who is Barney getting married to? A: Punchy's wedding; Q: What wedding do Barney and Ted reminisce about? A: Marshall; Q: Who and Lily announced they were having a baby? A: Robin; Q: Who considers telling Barney she has feelings for him? Summary: While Barney prepares for his wedding to a mystery bride, he and Ted reminisce about Punchy's wedding, including when Marshall and Lily announced they are having a baby. Meanwhile, Robin considers telling Barney she has feelings for him.