MUSIC IN:
INT. CHOP SHOP - NIGHT
(SFX: AUTO DRILLS/SAWS)
RANDALL: Is it just me? Or are we getting faster at this?
JONES: Faster's five cars in one night, newbie. You hear that?(SFX: CAR HONKS B.G.)
RANDALL: Sounds like money to me. Now that's what I'm talking about!(SFX: GARAGE DOOR SLIDES OPEN)
HOBIE: This baby is loaded! GPS Nav. Killer sound. We're going to get three gees for these rims alone.
JONES: More, if the spare's alloy. (BEAT) What?(DOOR OPENS)
GIBBS: NCIS!
JONES: Don't shoot! Don't shoot!
ZIVA: FREEZE!
TONY: Hands in the air!
HOBIE: Okay. Okay. All right. All right.
GIBBS: Cuff them!
MCGEE: Against the car. Assume the position!
HOBIE: Okay. Okay.
TONY: The first mistake was stealing tools from the motor pool, geniuses.(PHONE RINGS)
GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) Yeah, it's Gibbs. I need prisoner transportation for three. Get a hold of Metro P.D. since we busted them on their turf.
ZIVA: Gibbs? The car's not the only thing they've been chopping here.
(MUSIC OUT)
(THEME MUSIC UP OVER OPENING TITLE/ SCENES/ CREDITS AND OUT)
(FLASHES)
[SCENE_BREAK]
EXT. CHOP SHOP - NIGHT
HOBIE: I swear we didn't kill anybody! Come on! It's not even our cooler! We had nothing to do with this!
(DOOR CLOSES)
(SFX: VAN PULLS AWAY)
MCGEE: Do you believe him?
GIBBS: They had a human head in the trunk of a car, McGee. What do you think?
[SCENE_BREAK]
INT. CHOP SHOP - NIGHT
TONY: First severed head? Mine was a motorcycle accident in Baltimore. I thought I was just picking up a helmet...
ZIVA: (OVERLAP) Trust me, it's far worse when you know the person.
TONY: You knew someone who was beheaded?
ZIVA: A friend. He infiltrated a Hamas cell in Ramallah. Ah... they sent his head overnight express.
TONY: I'm sorry. I didn't...
ZIVA: That's when I decided that I'd...I'd never be captured alive.
[SCENE_BREAK]
EXT. CHOP SHOP - NIGHT
(DOOR OPENS)
DUCKY: You did me a favor tonight, Jethro. Tonight is Smack Down night at the Mallard residence. Can you believe it? Mother's favorite television program. Wrestling.
JIMMY: Mine, too! I love the WWE.
DUCKY: I haven't the heart to tell her it's not real. Where's the body?
GIBBS: Three sailors running the chop shop, Duck. We found it in the trunk.
TONY: You're not going to need the gurney for this one, Palmer.
DUCKY: Oh, my. Decapitation.
[SCENE_BREAK]
INT. AUTOPSY ROOM - NIGHT
DUCKY: A most ancient form of execution, which the French elevated to a public spectacle.
JIMMY: The guillotine.
DUCKY: La Grande Terreur. The French Revolution. Scissors, please. Actually, the hideous machine was invented by a doctor, Joseph Guillotine. He proposed his machine be used because it was a humane form of capital punishment.
ABBY: That's ironic.
DUCKY: Yes, I'd say. Although the guillotine is mostly associated with the French, the Nazi's actually guillotined more people than the entire French Revolution.
ABBY: That's pretty gruesome.
DUCKY: Indeed. Hitler thought it was a demeaning form of punishment so he used it for political executions.
ABBY: I was referring to the severed head, Ducky.
DUCKY: Do you know how many people the Nazis decapitated between nineteen forty-two and nineteen forty-three?
ABBY: Um... no.
DUCKY: Over twenty thousand.
JIMMY: I never cease to be amazed by the depth of your knowledge, Doctor.
DUCKY: Yes, well one thing we can say for certain... beheading is not the cause of this poor man's demise. Look at the tissue reaction. It isn't engorged with blood from the severed capillaries and veins.
JIMMY: So he was dead before his head was removed?
ABBY: And for what sicko reason do you keep it preserved on ice?
DUCKY: I don't know. But it's going to make determining the time of death impossible. As to cause, well, without the rest of the body.... Perhaps you can make us an I.D.
ABBY: Lay some tissue samples on me, Duckman.
DUCKY: I knew there was a reason I invited you down here. Would you do the honors, Mister Palmer? I need to take care of the paperwork.
JIMMY: So....white meat or dark? (BEAT) Inappropriate?
ABBY: With a big dash of creepy, Jimmy.
JIMMY: It's my delivery. I have to work on that.
[SCENE_BREAK]
INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY
ZIVA: Who is Naomi Krutzhammer? One of your girlfriends, yes?
TONY: I'm trying to read my email here. You mind?
ZIVA: Not at all. I didn't know your nickname was honeybuns.
GIBBS: Only Naomi and I call him that.
TONY: Didn't think you were going to say anything about that, Boss.
GIBBS: Who owns the car with the head in the trunk?
TONY: We don't know yet.
GIBBS: You're readying your email and you don't know yet?
TONY: We traced the VIN to a Mercedes dealership in Riverdale, which sold it two weeks ago. The registration's temporary and hasn't been processed by the DMV.
ZIVA: We called the dealership. They don't open for another twenty five minutes.
MCGEE: The car's registered to an Epsilon Corporation.
GIBBS: Thanks for sharing, Probie.
MCGEE: I just found it. Had to hack into the DMV's processing computer.
TONY: Is that legal?
ZIVA: I doubt it.
TONY: I wonder what the penalty is?
GIBBS: Less than reading your emails on my time, honeybuns.
MCGEE: Corporate address is in care of Sean Oliver, Attorney at Law. Two two five Sheraton Street.
ZIVA: Phone number, McGee.
GIBBS: When they answer the phone, what are you going to say, Officer David? Hey, we found your car. Anybody at Epsilon missing a head? Tony, take Ziva with you. Go. That's a good job, McGee.
MCGEE: Thank you, Boss.
GIBBS: Tony's right. Hacking is illegal.
[SCENE_BREAK]
INT. OUTER LAW OFFICE - DAY
TONY: I hate lawyers.
ZIVA: I thought lawyers were an integral part of the American legal system. Defenders of civil liberties.
TONY: This guy wouldn't know a civil liberty if he choked on it. You don't get an office like this working pro bono cases.
ZIVA: You don't even know the man.
TONY: I can tell you anything you need to know.
ZIVA: Okay, what does he look like?
TONY: The name "Sean" was popular in the nineteen sixties. I wonder why. That puts him in his forties. Probably has a comb over. Balding. Maybe even plugs. Shall I continue?
ZIVA: Well, you're on a roll.
TONY: Oliver. Old money. Esquire. Cheeseball pretentious.
RECEPTIONIST: I'm sorry to keep you waiting. If you'll follow me, please?
TONY: Count your fingers after you shake his hand.
[SCENE_BREAK]
INT. LAW OFFICE - DAY
SEAN OLIVER: (INTO PHONE) Okay, thanks.
TONY: Of course, there are exceptions.
SEAN OLIVER: So what can I do for NCIS today?
ZIVA: I'm Special Agent DiNozzo.
SEAN OLIVER: Nice to meet you.
ZIVA: We recovered a stolen Mercedes registered at Epsilon Corporation at this address.
SEAN OLIVER: Epsilon's a client. I'm sure they will appreciate finding their car.
TONY: It's a little more complicated than that. Is it Mrs.?
SEAN OLIVER: It's Ms. And please call me Sean.
TONY: Sean. Pretty name.
SEAN OLIVER: Thank you.
TONY: You're a coach?
SEAN OLIVER: No, not exactly. I do a lot of pro bono work for youth groups.
ZIVA: The car may have been involved in some criminal activity prior to the theft, Ms. Oliver. We'll need to speak to your client about this.
SEAN OLIVER: First define criminal activity.
ZIVA: We're not prepared to disclose that kind of information right now.
SEAN OLIVER: Then I'm sorry I can't help you.
ZIVA: Why is that?
TONY: Attorney client privilege.
SEAN OLIVER: It prevents me from divulging any information without my client's permission. I'm ethically bound to protect their rights.
ZIVA: Even if they may have committed a crime?
SEAN OLIVER: If you believe that, you would have come here with a search warrant.
ZIVA: Oh, we didn't think it was necessary.
SEAN OLIVER: So I'll assume you'll try to get one now?
TONY: Oh, yeah. Yeah.
SEAN OLIVER: Great. Then I look forward to seeing you again, Agent DiNozzo.
TONY: Tony.
SEAN OLIVER: Tony.
ZIVA: I hate lawyers.
[SCENE_BREAK]
INT. INTERROGATION ROOM
(DOOR OPENS/ CLOSES)
MCGEE: Have a seat.
HOBIE: I'm not saying anything 'till I get a lawyer.
GIBBS: You're not here to talk, Petty Officer Hobie. You're here to listen. They said you jacked the car and they know nothing about what was in the trunk. Me? I believe them.
MCGEE: It means you're screwed, Petty Officer.
GIBBS: Agent McGee? Seven stolen cars in two weeks. What's he looking at?
MCGEE: First offense? Let's see, seven to ten for theft. Another four to five for selling stolen property. So roughly twelve years. Maybe out in six with good behavior.
GIBBS: What about carrying around a human head in an ice chest?
MCGEE: Well, capital offense? With the gruesome nature of the crime? I'm thinking... life. That's if he's lucky. If not...
GIBBS: The death penalty.
HOBIE: Whoa, hey! I didn't know that was in there. Look, when you boost a car, you don't check to see what's in the trunk first!
GIBBS: Where?
HOBIE: It was in a parking lot. Chez Nude. It's a strip club in Anacostia. I took it around midnight.
GIBBS: Did you see the driver?
HOBIE: No. All I saw was the chrome.
[SCENE_BREAK]
INT. LAB - DAY
DUCKY: Yes, but are you absolutely positive?
ABBY: Science doesn't lie, Ducky.
DUCKY: No, but in my experience it often can be misleading.
GIBBS: Abby.
ABBY: Gibbs! Okay, so we have two questions for you. Where's my Caf-Pow?
GIBBS: The machine was empty. Second question?
ABBY: That's wasn't one of the questions. The machine's never empty.
GIBBS: Abby?
ABBY: According to the Armed Forces DNA registry, the head in the autopsy room belongs to Navy Captain Parker Wayne.
GIBBS: You want to know how he died and why.
ABBY: We know how and why.
DUCKY: He suffered a fatal coronary infarction at Bethesda Naval Hospital four months ago.
ABBY: So what is his head doing in the trunk of a stolen car?
DUCKY: And where is the rest of his body?
(MUSIC UP AND OUT)
MUSIC IN:
INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY
MCGEE: Can't connect Captain Wayne to any of the three suspects, Boss.
ZIVA: No common service, ship or base. If they had any contact, it wasn't through the Navy.
GIBBS: You're asking me to believe a sailor jacked a car with a head in the trunk and he didn't know it?
ZIVA: If the glue sticks?
MCGEE: Shoe fits.
GIBBS: DiNozzo!
TONY: I'm with you, Boss. Our carjacker definitely knows more than he's telling us. We don't believe in coincidences around here, Ziva.
GIBBS: However, we do believe in bad luck. You get the search warrant?
MCGEE: Uh... Faith Coleman says that we need to petition for a preliminary injunction to compel Sean Oliver, Esquire, to give up the name of her client.
GIBBS: So do it.
MCGEE: Done it. I mean I did it. Since the Captain died of natural causes, it's going to take the judge a while to sign off on it.
ZIVA: The lawyer drooled over Tony. Why doesn't he just sleep with her? (BEAT) What? It's a viable interrogation technique.
GIBBS: I've done it.
ZIVA: Me, too.
[SCENE_BREAK]
INT. AUTOPSY ROOM - DAY
DUCKY: There was no trauma to the head, no signs of cerebral hemorrhage.
ROSS: The cause of death was definitely coronary inclusion, Doctor Mallard. Caused by arteriosclerosis. I took this when I performed the autopsy on Captain Wayne.
DUCKY: Ah, Jethro. Special Agent Gibbs, Commander Ross, the M.E. who performed the autopsy on our Captain four months ago.
ROSS: I must admit I've never been involved in anything this... strange.
DUCKY: Remind me to show you some of our cases sometime. Last year we had a patient who spontaneously combusted, or so we thought.
GIBBS: (OVERLAP) Are you certain heart attack was the cause of death?
ROSS: Absolutely. Captain Wayne was pronounced dead on the operating table by one of our best heart surgeons. I performed the autopsy two days later.
GIBBS: When you last saw the Captain... his head was attached?
ROSS: (CHUCKLES) Of course.
GIBBS: What happened to his remains?
ROSS: At the request of the widow they were released to a mortuary. The uh...let's see... Vernon Family Mortuary. In Annandale, Virginia.
(SFX: TELEPHONE BEEP TONES)
MUSICAL BRIDGE TO:
EXT. CREMATORY - DAY
FLOYD VERNON: (V.O.) You'll have to excuse me, but I'm extremely shorthanded this afternoon, gentlemen.
[SCENE_BREAK]
INT. CREMATORY - DAY
FLOYD VERNON: My furnace operator didn't show up today.
MCGEE: Mister Vernon, are those human remains?
FLOYD VERNON: Were. Now they're just carbon and ashes, Agent McGee. Now what can I do for you?
TONY: We're investigating a death.
FLOYD VERNON: I figured as much.
TONY: How's that?
FLOYD VERNON: The only time I see cops around here is when they're on an official investigation or when, you know... you're customers.
(SFX: DOOR SLIDES OPEN)
TONY: Well, the customer we're interested in was here four months ago.
(VERNON CLAPS HIS HANDS)
FLOYD VERNON: Name?
MCGEE: Ah, Captain Parker Wayne.
FLOYD VERNON: Let's see... Wyatt, Winter, and Wayne. From Bethesda. He was cremated one hundred twenty two days ago.
MCGEE: He was cremated?
FLOYD VERNON: Yes. His wife asked for a Sea-rest urn with interior gold plated lining. Very high end.
MCGEE: Sounds nice.
TONY: Yeah, except for the fact that there's a piece missing, Vernon.
FLOYD VERNON: Oh, what do you mean?
MCGEE: Well, a part of his body has turned up.
FLOYD VERNON: You mean like a body fragment or a bone fragment or a tooth?
TONY: Actually, more like his head.
FLOYD VERNON: A head?
MCGEE: Found in a car trunk.
TONY: We'd like to know how it got there.
FLOYD VERNON: (READS) Remains picked up at seven forty five a.m. on the twenty fourth. He was cremated that evening, furnace two. Attending technician, Martin.
TONY: Martin who?
FLOYD VERNON: Broussard.
TONY: Where is he?
FLOYD VERNON: He didn't show up for work today, which is why I'm here instead of being out there where I'm needed.
MCGEE: We're going to need his address.
FLOYD VERNON: No need. I'll take you to his room.
[SCENE_BREAK]
EXT. GROUNDS - DAY
FLOYD VERNON: I can't believe I let him live on the grounds.
MCGEE: For how long?
FLOYD VERNON: Almost three years. This could ruin me. My family's been in the business for sixty three years.
TONY: Anyone else licensed to operate these ovens?
FLOYD VERNON: Furnaces, Agent DiNozzo. Just myself and Martin.
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
FLOYD VERNON: Martin, if you're in there, open up, damn it!
(DOOR OPENS)
[SCENE_BREAK]
INT. STORAGE ROOM - DAY
TONY: Wait here.
(MUSIC OVER ACTION/TONY MOVES INTO THE ROOM)
(SFX: SCREEN OPENS)
TONY: You thinking what I'm thinking, Probie?
MCGEE: Yeah, we just walked into an episode of "The X Files."
TONY: Open that up, Probie.
MCGEE: No, you open it.
TONY: Who's the senior field agent?
MCGEE: Gibbs.
TONY: In this room, who's the senior field agent!? Open it, Chucklehead! What is it?
MCGEE: It's feet.
TONY: I knew it. We're dealing with another Dahmer here.
MCGEE: The pig kind.
[SCENE_BREAK]
EXT. HOUSE - DAY
(SFX: CAR BRAKES TO A STOP)
GIBBS: Hi. What's your name? I'm Jethro. I'm here to talk to your mom.
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
CHRISSY: Did you know my daddy?
GIBBS: No. No, I didn't. Not personally.
CHRISSY: He's dead, you know.(DOOR OPENS)
[SCENE_BREAK]
INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY
JOCELYN: I had them on the mantle, but Chrissy would stare at them for hours. She couldn't understand how her daddy could fit inside a jar. Her therapist said it was probably unhealthy for her so...
GIBBS: I understand that this must be tough for you, Mrs. Wayne.
JOCELYN: Ashes are ashes, Agent Gibbs. Now what is this about?
GIBBS: There may have been a mix-up.
JOCELYN: These aren't my husband's ashes?
GIBBS: No. No, they probably are. There just was a paper snafu at Bethesda. We need to verify it.
JOCELYN: How can you do that?
GIBBS: Teeth aren't totally destroyed during cremation.
JOCELYN: I've been a Navy wife for close to twenty years, Agent Gibbs. NCIS agents don't investigate mix-ups, at least not agents as.... old as you.
GIBBS: (LAUGHS)Well, we have a new director, Ma'am. A female director. Let's just say I'm not as politically correct as some of the younger agents.
JOCELYN: What did you do to piss her off?
GIBBS: Well, see, if she was more like you, then I wouldn't be sent out here to do a probie's job. Not that this isn't important. This is very important. I will handle the Captain's remains with the utmost respect, Ma'am. That's a promise.
JOCELYN: What did you do?
GIBBS: She overheard a conversation I had about physical--
CHRISSY: Where are you taking my dad?
JOCELYN: Oh, Chrissy. It's okay. Agent Gibbs is a Marine. You know how much Daddy liked them. Twenty years in the Navy. I know a Marine when I see one, Agent Gibbs.
GIBBS: As soon as this is verified, it'll be returned.
JOCELYN: Our last command was a cruiser, the Manassas. They deploy for eight months next Thursday. Parks' last wish was to have his ashes scattered at sea by them.
GIBBS: You'll have them back.
MUSICAL BRIDGE TO:
INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY
(SFX: ZIVA BANGS ON THE DESK)
ZIVA: I've hit a dead wall. Have any of you heard of the Nation of Nevis?
MCGEE: No.
TONY: It's in the Caribbean.
ZIVA: I'm impressed.
TONY: Well, if you're looking for the most attractive and convenient offshore corporate domicile, like my father, it's the place.
ZIVA: That's where Epsilon's incorporated. It's a haven of confidentiality. I mean, they won't disclose the names of owners, officers, or directors.
TONY: That's why the old man seems to like it.
MCGEE: It sounds suspicious.
ZIVA: I have a contact who can get me that info.
GIBBS: Ziva, don't talk about it. Do it.
ZIVA: Well, it's a delicate situation, Gibbs. Perhaps I should elaborate a--
MCGEE: (BEAT) Martin Broussard. Raised in New Orleans...
TONY: (OVERLAP) Orleans, Boss. Barely graduated high school. Dropped out of...
MCGEE: Junior college after only one year.
GIBBS: Record?
MCGEE: (BEAT) Ah, two DUIs and a --
TONY: Shoplifting charge.
MCGEE: We got prints from his room. Abby is...
TONY: Trying to match them from the Mercedes from the chop shop.
ZIVA: You think Broussard could be Sean Oliver's client?
TONY: No way. This guy's apartment makes McGee's look like The Four Seasons.
MCGEE: Whoa, what is wrong with my home?
TONY: Nothing that a bulldozer and a few coats of paint wouldn't fix.
MCGEE: At least I wasn't afraid to open a cooler.
TONY: I wasn't afraid to open a cooler.
(SFX: GIBBS HITS TONY)
TONY: I'm shutting up, Boss.
[SCENE_BREAK]
INT. MTAC - DAY
SHEPARD: Ziva.(DOOR CLOSES)
ZIVA: Director.
SHEPARD: What can I do for you?
ZIVA: A favor.
SHEPARD: You want to go back to Israel?
ZIVA: No. I actually love it here. Gibbs is a great teacher.
SHEPARD: You'll learn. He's like the Hope Diamond. A valuable gem....but it comes with a curse.
ZIVA: Anyone I know in that car?
SHEPARD: You know what they say. If you have to ask...
[SCENE_BREAK]
INT. LAB - DAY
ABBY: Hey, they refilled the machine!
GIBBS: What are you doing?
ABBY: It's been a long day. Yoga. Sirshasana. It increases the blood flow to the brain.
GIBBS: I thought that's what this is for.
ABBY: Ooh. That helps, too.
GIBBS: I assume you're done.
ABBY: With the ashes? Yeah. Since cremation destroys all DNA, then genetic fingerprinting of the cremains won't work. So I put them through a particle accelerator to try to ferret out any trace elements.
GIBBS: And?
ABBY: And I found calcium which is present in human bones, but no phosphorous.
GIBBS: Which means?
ABBY: There's really no foreplay with you, is there, Gibbs?
GIBBS: What? Have you been talking to my ex-wives again?
ABBY: The urn contained burnt wood chips, concrete, dust and pebbles. The ashes are bogus.
(MUSIC OUT)
MUSIC IN:
INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY
TONY: Ask yourself what kind of guy lives in a coffin storage shed at a funeral home?
ZIVA: Perhaps a poor one?
TONY: I'd buy that except for the fact that it looks like this guy did an episode of "Trading Spaces" with Satan. What we need to figure out is why this guy decided to keep the man's head.
MCGEE: And how it ended up in the trunk of the stolen Mercedes.
ZIVA: Maybe he needed it for some sort of ritual.
TONY: Or sacrifice.
MCGEE: Witchcraft?
TONY: Whatever you want to call it, Probie.
ZIVA: I agree. Anyone so obviously fascinated with death has to be deeply disturbed on some level. I mean, take these masks, for instance. What kind of a person would collect such horrid-looking things?
ABBY: Me.
ZIVA: Of course, by horrid I mean, finely crafted and artistic. Good morning, Abby.
ABBY: Hi. The masks are Ogu. They're used in tribal ceremonies in Africa. A friend of mine makes them.
ZIVA: I see, and this?
ABBY: Drapeau, or flag. It symbolizes the bridge between your spiritual and your earthly planes. I'm not an expert, but I would say that Martin Broussard is in to voodoo big time.
MCGEE: So it is witchcraft.
ABBY: No, McGee, it's voodoo.
MCGEE: What's the difference?
TONY: Haven't you ever seen Voodoo Island with Boris Karloff? The Believers? Martin Sheen? Serpent and the Rainbow? Sleepless in Seattle.
ZIVA: That was about voodoo?
TONY: No, but the first time I saw It, it scared the bejeesus out of me.
GIBBS: Is that a fact, DiNozzo?
TONY: Yes, Sir. We think we just had a major breakthrough in the case.
GIBBS: You found Broussard?
TONY: No, not exactly.
GIBBS: You got the warrant to search the law offices?
MCGEE: Not yet.
GIBBS: Your contacts found out who owns Epsilon Corporation?
ZIVA: They haven't gotten back to me yet.
TONY: In retrospect, "major" may have been overstating things, Sir. I'm sorry.
GIBBS: What, Abby? You have to go to the bathroom or do you have something to say?
ABBY: I do. But that's not the point. Ducky and I might have found something that's min-jor. It's maybe not major, but it's more than minor.
[SCENE_BREAK]
INT. LAB - DAY
GIBBS: Hey, Duck, are you saying Captain Wayne was used in some kind of sacrifice?
DUCKY: I'm just saying it's a possibility, Jethro.
ABBY: We found traces of blood on three of the knives from Martin Broussard's room.
DUCKY: All three came back the same type.
ZIVA: Captain Wayne's?
ABBY: Nope. Chicken.
DUCKY: (OVERLAP) Chicken. Well, it's not an uncommon substance to find at a voodoo ritual.
GIBBS: Yeah, or at a KFC. What else?
ABBY: Patience, Gibbs. I ran the fingerprints from the Mercedes, the cooler in the back of the car, and Martin Broussard's room. They're all the same and they're all his.
TONY: Broussard stole the Mercedes?
ABBY: Either that or he just really likes to touch stuff.
[SCENE_BREAK]
INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY
MCGEE: (INTO PHONE) Okay, I'll let Gibbs know. Thank you.
SHEPARD: Let Gibbs know what, Agent McGee?
MCGEE: Uh... that Captain Wayne's widow is on her way up, Director.
SHEPARD: How much does she know?
MCGEE: Uh, I'm not sure, Ma'am. Gibbs returned with the cremains, but I don't know what he said to get them.
SHEPARD: Let's hope he didn't say that we found her husband's head in the trunk.
MCGEE: I don't think that - would he?
SHEPARD: Have you gotten the warrant for Sean Oliver's law office?
MCGEE: Still working on it, Ma'am. I've put several cars into the Assistant U.S. Attorney's office, but they're dragging their feet.
SHEPARD: I expected they would so I made a personal call to the Attorney General's office. Here's your warrant. You can close your mouth, Agent McGee. It's not that impressive.
(SFX: ELEVATOR DINGS/DOORS SLIDE OPEN)
SHEPARD: Get Gibbs. I'll escort Mrs. Wayne from here.
AGENT: Yes, Ma'am.
SHEPARD: Special Agent Gibbs is on his way. I....
JOCELYN: Did he make a positive identification?
SHEPARD: A positive identification... of your husband's cremains?
[SCENE_BREAK]
INT. ELEVATOR - DAY
GIBBS: I want the remains verified for every body Broussard was supposed to burn.
TONY: Not a problem, Boss. What do we tell the families?
GIBBS: Depends on what we find.
ZIVA: You think he's done this before?
GIBBS: The guy's cutting up chickens and carrying heads around in coolers, Ziva. I don't know. What's your gut tell you?
ZIVA: Well, I never want to be cremated.
(SFX: ELEVATOR DINGS/DOORS SLIDE OPEN)
[SCENE_BREAK]
INT. HALLWAY - DAY
MCGEE: Whoa! Whoa! Sorry, Boss. Uh... one, got the warrant.
GIBBS: Good job, McGee. Tony, you're with me.
MCGEE: Uh, Mrs. Wayne is here and Director Shepard is with her.
[SCENE_BREAK]
INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY
JOCELYN: He said the paper mix-up could be resolved with my husband's teeth.
SHEPARD: If Special Agent Gibbs told you that, I'm sure it's the truth. He's one of the most knowledgeable agents I've ever worked with.
JOCELYN: I had that impression. I'm glad he was assigned this, even if it is punishment.
SHEPARD: Punishment?
JOCELYN: The new Director has it in for him.
SHEPARD: He told you that?
JOCELYN: Well, I've seen it before when Parker was X.O. for one of the first female ship Captains. Ooh! The woman was a nightmare trying to prove herself.
SHEPARD: Special Agent Gibbs, I didn't know the new Director was punishing you. She always seemed very fair to me.
JOCELYN: Well, you're a woman. She doesn't have anything to prove to you.
SHEPARD: How about you? What do you think? Do you think the new Director is reasonable?
ZIVA: Very.
GIBBS: Why are you here, Mrs. Wayne?
JOCELYN: Have you made a positive identification?
GIBBS: Lab's working on it.
JOCELYN: I'm sorry to be troubling you.
GIBBS: No trouble at all.
JOCELYN: The Manassas has been put on alert to sail early.
GIBBS: How early?
JOCELYN: Tuesday. I have to have Parker's ashes there by Monday night. I don't want to wait another year to honor my husband's last wish.
GIBBS: I'll do my best.
SHEPARD: You'll have your husband's ashes by Monday, won't she, Agent Gibbs?
GIBBS: If you say so.
(SHEPARD WALKS O.S.)
JOCELYN: She isn't the new...
GIBBS: Uh-huh.
JOCELYN: Oh.
[SCENE_BREAK]
INT. OUTER LAW OFFICE - DAY
TONY: Hi. Nice to see you again. NCIS. We have a search warrant.
RECEPTIONIST: Go right on in. Ms. Oliver has been expecting you.
(DOOR OPENS)
[SCENE_BREAK]
INT. LAW OFFICE - DAY
SEAN OLIVER: That was fast.
GIBBS: It gives us the right to search the premises for every and all documents pertaining to Epsilon Corporation.
SEAN OLIVER: I think you'll find everything you need in those boxes. Your Director is not the only one with friends in the U.S. Attorney's office. You have the papers so I can't stop you, but I do think this is overkill for a stolen car.
GIBBS: Actually, we're more interested in who was driving it before it was stolen.
SEAN OLIVER: Why?
GIBBS: Oh, I'll make you a deal. You tell me who runs Epsilon Corporation, I tell you why.
SEAN OLIVER: Unfortunately I can't make deals without consulting my clients.
TONY: You make the call, Sean.
SEAN OLIVER: At least give me a clue as to what it is we're dealing with here, Tony. Was it drugs?
TONY: More along the lines of human sacrifice.
[SCENE_BREAK]
INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY
ZIVA: She's had twenty four hours to cleanse these files. What are we hoping to find?
MCGEE: Names of employees and addresses.
ZIVA: We might get through this by the end of the month if you actually helped us, Tony.
TONY: I'm supervising.
ZIVA: Hi, Gibbs!
TONY: Nice one.
GIBBS: Yeah, it is.
TONY: Hey, Boss, I was just about to call you.
GIBBS: What a coincidence. I'm just about to put my boot up your--
TONY: I got a lead. Found an electric bill in one of the boxes. An industrial space in Anacostia. Three miles from the strip club where the Mercedes was stolen.
GIBBS: Ziva, McGee, go check it out. Tony? Go on. Supervise.
MUSICAL BRIDGE TO:
INT. ALLEY - DAY
TONY: It doesn't look like anybody's here.
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
MCGEE: All right, what do we do?
TONY: Well, at least we have a warrant.
ZIVA: Right.
MCGEE: Uh, no. Not really.
TONY: What is your problem, Probie?
MCGEE: Well, the warrant only covers Epsilon's files.
TONY: Can you see inside that window?
MCGEE: You know that I can't.
ZIVA: So for all you know, there could be files in there, yes?
MCGEE: Technically, yes. But we could be obfuscating the warrant.
TONY: You know what that means?
ZIVA: No, not at all.
TONY: Good. Neither do I. Pick the lock. Obfuscating. What sort of knucklehead uses a word like obfuscating? Pickle head. Nice work, Ziva.
MCGEE: Tony?
TONY: Two to one you lose, Probie.
(SFX: DOOR OPENS)
(SFX: ALARM B.G.)
MCGEE: A bad idea!
TONY: What?
MCGEE: It's a bad--
[SCENE_BREAK]
INT. WAREHOUSE - DAY
TONY: I wonder what they do in here?(SFX: DOOR SLIDES OPEN)
MCGEE: We should not have broken in here.
TONY: What?
MCGEE: We shouldn't have broken in here!
TONY: If you want to be a crybaby, why don't you wait outside for the police?
MCGEE: What are we going to tell them?(DOOR OPENS)
ZIVA: Might be easier to show them.
(MUSIC UP AND OUT)
[SCENE_BREAK]
INT. WAREHOUSE - DAY (FLASHES)
TONY: You know what this place reminds me of?
ZIVA: One of your stupid voodoo movies?
TONY: No. My Uncle Vincenzo's shop on Long Island. He's a butcher.
MCGEE: Yet another reason why I'm considering becoming a vegetarian.
TONY: We may need a couple extra gurneys on this one, Palmer.
GIBBS: How many are we looking at, Duck?
DUCKY: Based upon size, skin tone, and gender difference, there are at least partial remains of six cadavers in here.
GIBBS: This isn't voodoo.
DUCKY: I agree, based upon the surgical skill in which they were dissected. You've found yourself another chop shop, Jethro. Only instead of automobiles being harvested....
GIBBS: Body parts? Do any of these parts belong to Captain Wayne, Duck?
DUCKY: Oh, Jethro, please.
[SCENE_BREAK]
INT. LAB - DAY
ABBY: So how grisly was it?
ZIVA: Not bad.
TONY: Shelves lined with body parts is not bad?
ZIVA: At least they were surgically removed.
TONY: Yeah.
ABBY: Were all the bodies supposed to be cremated?
TONY: I don't know.
ZIVA: McGee's getting the mortuary records for the last few months.
ABBY: I do not know why anyone would want to be cremated.
ZIVA: Do you really want to be stuck in the ground?
TONY: She already has a coffin.
ZIVA: Oh, no!
ABBY: I just want to know that the rest of my body parts, after I donate whatever I can to science, are going to rot for eternity in a familiar place.
ZIVA: How about you, Tony?
TONY: Ah, slow rot or the fast burn? Hm.... Neither please, thank you very much.
ABBY: What's your alternative?
TONY: Ted Williams. Cryogenics.
SHEPARD: Appropriate under the circumstances, Agent DiNozzo. They only thing Ted Williams had frozen was his head. Here's the information you were looking for. The principal and sole shareholder of Epsilon Corporation.
ZIVA: Sean Oliver! Now I really do hate lawyers. Thank you, Director.
SHEPARD: Glad I could be of help. (BEAT) Is something wrong?
TONY: Oh, I was just wondering if Gibb's knows whose Ziva's secret contact is.
SHEPARD: We had a saying in Europe. Whatever Gibbs doesn't know...
TONY: Can't hurt him.
SHEPARD: No. Can't hurt us.
[SCENE_BREAK]
INT. AUTOPSY ROOM - DAY
DUCKY: It would appear they were all dissected by the same individual, Jethro. It's the direction that the incisions were made. Look. Straight cuts are normally canted to the right due to the position of the scalpel in the right hand. All of these were canted in the opposite direction.
GIBBS: We're looking for someone that's left-handed.
DUCKY: Precisely.
GIBBS: Any idea which ones are Captain Wayne's?
DUCKY: We're taken tissue samples of the individual parts, and prints from the hands. And we'll try to assemble Captain Wayne where we can.
GIBBS: I've got less than two days, Duck. We told his wife we'd return his ashes by Monday.
DUCKY: I could bring in another M.E. to help.
GIBBS: Yeah, yeah. Do it.
ZIVA: My contact came through, Gibbs. The client Sean Oliver was protecting was...
GIBBS: Sean Oliver.
ZIVA: Tony and McGee are picking her up.
GIBBS: Not bad, Officer David.
ZIVA: Well, I do what I can.
GIBBS: When you see the Director, thank her for me.
[SCENE_BREAK]
INT. OBSERVATION ROOM - DAY
SHEPARD: (V.O.) There's a reason you couldn't find her anywhere last night, Jethro. (ON CAMERA) She was meeting with the District Attorney's office... cutting a deal.
GIBBS: What kind of deal?
SHEPARD: More than she deserves. Do you think it would be inappropriate if, as Director, I went in there and smacked that smile off her face?
GIBBS: Yeah, it would. But that's what you have me for.
(DOOR OPENS/ CLOSES)
[SCENE_BREAK]
INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY
TONY: (INTO PHONE) Thank you very much, Ma'am. (TO ZIVA) That was one of Martin Broussard's elementary school teachers.
ZIVA: What could she possibly tell you that's relevant to this case?
TONY: A lot, Ziva. Slow learner. Troublemaker. Not real big on oral hygiene.
ZIVA: That's fascinating, Tony. And this helps us find him how?
TONY: It doesn't. But at least we now know he's left-handed.
(PHONE RINGS)
ZIVA: (INTO PHONE) Officer David.
ABBY: (V.O./FILTERED) I got something for you guys.
ZIVA: (INTO PHONE) On our way. (TO TONY) Abby found something.
[SCENE_BREAK]
INT. INTERROGATION ROOM
GIBBS: His name was Captain Parker Wayne. He was married. Had a nine year old daughter who just worshiped the ground he walked on.
SIMON KATZ: My client admitted her involvement in the sale of illegal body parts already, Agent Gibbs.
GIBBS: His last request was to have his ashes scattered at sea. What would you like me to tell this little girl, Ms. Oliver? That that can't happen because you wanted to join the more expensive country club?
SEAN: This was never about money.
SIMON KATZ: Sean, he's baiting you.
SEAN: Let him, Simon. The deceased were to be cremated. By supplying their bodies for medical research, advances were made to benefit the living.
GIBBS: Any profits you made were just incidental, right?
SIMON KATZ: Part of my client's plea agreement is to make financial restitution.
GIBBS: Your client was carving up dead people and selling parts like meat. Where's Martin Brousaard?
SIMON KATZ: Not part of our arrangement.
GIBBS: I've got the parts to six different bodies downstairs. She is not going anywhere until I I.D. them.
[SCENE_BREAK]
INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY
(SFX: ELEVATOR DINGS/DOORS SLIDE OPEN)
ABBY: Where's Gibbs?!
TONY: Interrogation. Why?
ABBY: I found him!
MCGEE: We! We found him!
ZIVA: Found who, Abby?
ABBY: Martin Broussard.
[SCENE_BREAK]
INT. INTERROGATION ROOM
(DOOR OPENS/ CLOSES)
GIBBS: We located Martin Broussard.
SIMON KATZ: Then you have no further need to question my client.
GIBBS: We have him downstairs in autopsy.
SEAN: To identify the bodies?
GIBBS: Nope.
SIMON KATZ: Sean. They can do whatever...
GIBBS: He's one of them.
SEAN: Martin is dead? I don't know anything about it! Simon?
GIBBS: We found his body parts in your building. The only thing we can't locate, it seems, is his head. I think your deal with the D.A. just went south.
SEAN: I didn't kill him!
GIBBS: If you didn't... you know who did.
SIMON KATZ: As your lawyer, I advise you not to answer any more questions, Sean.
SEAN: A man was murdered here, Simon! Vernon supplied the bodies. Martin was... was just a delivery man. They must have thought he was too weak to stand up to an investigation.
GIBBS: They?
[SCENE_BREAK]
INT. AUTOPSY ROOM
DUCKY: I appreciate you volunteering to help, Doctor Ross.
ROSS: Anything to get out of Bethesda for a couple of days, Doctor Mallard.
JIMMY: Where do you want this one, Doctor?
DUCKY: Oh, uh....
ROSS: Is that what this is all about, the body parts?
DUCKY: It would appear that way.
ROSS: It's understandable. That arm alone would be worth a fortune.
JIMMY: Really?
DUCKY: Pharmaceutical and medical instrument firms would pay vast sums for cadavers.
JIMMY: Where do they get them?
DUCKY: The willed body programs. Universities. But the need far outstrips the supply.
ROSS: A human body can be worth as much as two hundred thousand dollars.
JIMMY: Well, how much do you suppose just a little arm would be?
DUCKY: A lot. It's not unlike car theft. A vehicle stripped and sold for parts is worth far more than when it's whole and harder to trace. Table two.
JIMMY: Wow. This could pay off my college loans.
DUCKY: Don't give me cause to check your car trunk tonight, Mister Palmer. Oh, um... we haven't yet determined the cause of death of this poor man. Would you care to open?
ROSS: Oh, my pleasure, Doctor.
DUCKY: I suppose you'll tell me you didn't do it for money.
ROSS: Excuse me?
DUCKY: Dissecting these bodies.(SFX: DOORS SLIDE OPEN)
ROSS: What.... what would ever make you think that?
DUCKY: By the way you used this.
SEAN: They know, Ross.
ROSS: What? I...I admit the money was good, but... my intent was to help people.
GIBBS: Is that so?
ROSS: Yes. I don't care whether you believe me or not. As long as you do, Doctor.
GIBBS: Before you buy this, he murdered Broussard.
ROSS: No! No, I didn't!
SEAN: The hell you didn't!
ROSS: She presented his body to me as a fait accompli!
SEAN: I did not!
GIBBS: I don't give a damn which one of you did it!
DUCKY: Well, I do.
GIBBS: Tony, get them out of here.
ROSS: Scum ambulance chaser! If you think for one minute I'm going to take the rap...
SEAN: (OVERLAP) Stop lying! For once in your life tell the truth!?
ROSS: (V.O.) It was all your idea.
(SEAN AND ROSS WALK O.S.)
DUCKY: Mister Palmer, would you leave us alone a minute, please? Jethro, you do realize that Captain Wayne's remains are considered evidence in this case.
GIBBS: Ah...
DUCKY: Well you can't possibly be considering cremating them in time to give them to his widow. Right. I'll go with you to the crematorium.
[SCENE_BREAK]
INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY
JOCELYN: Chrissy was really starting to worry. But I told her that Marines always keep their word. Sweetie, go get changed. We have to leave for the ship soon.
CHRISSY: Okay, Mommy.
JOCELYN: And put the dress on that Daddy brought from France. He loved you in it.
(CHRISSY WALKS O.S.)
JOCELYN: Are those my husband's ashes?
GIBBS: Yes, Ma'am. I give you my word. It would be my pleasure to escort you and your daughter to the ship.
JOCELYN: Um... the Navy's sending a car, but thanks.
(SFX: KISS)
JOCELYN: Thank you, Agent Gibbs. And Parker would never forgive me if I didn't say... semper fi.
GIBBS: Fair winds and following seas, Ma'am.
(MUSIC OUT)
Plan: A: Navy sailors; Q: What group of people were operating an illegal automotive chop shop? A: Ziva; Q: Who finds a severed head in the trunk of a stolen car? A: Abby; Q: Who matches the head to a Navy Captain who died four months earlier? A: Things; Q: What goes from bad to worse when Abby discovers that the ashes that the Captain's wife and young daughter have been looking after since his death are bogus? A: the hunt; Q: What does the team go on to find the missing body parts? Summary: While arresting a group of Navy sailors who were operating an illegal automotive chop shop , Ziva finds a severed head in the trunk of a recently stolen car. Abby later matches the head to a Navy Captain who died four months previously. Things go from bad to worse when Abby discovers that the ashes that the Captain's wife and young daughter have been looking after since the Captain's death are bogus, sending the team on the hunt for a possible "human chop shop" operating illegally and the Captain's remaining body parts.