Skyline: The sun rises over the city.
ACT I
[Scene 1 - KACL Frasier is discussing the state of his show with Kenny.]
Frasier: Kenny, this is not amateur hour. My show is already suffering enough just losing Roz. I will not let you replace her with a complete novice.
Kenny: Come on, don't you remember when you were a young whippersnapper with nothing but a pantload of talent and a headful of dreams?
Frasier: [pauses] Are we still talking about Noel?
[We see that Noel is in Roz's usual place with headphones on. Roz is standing behind him.]
Noel: Five seconds to launch, Dr. Crane.
[Kenny takes the opportunity to exit. Frasier sits at the console.]
Frasier: Yeah. [He puts on his headphones.] Good afternoon, Seattle, this is Dr. Frasier Crane. Before we get to our first call, I'd like to remind you that we are losing our beloved producer, Roz Doyle in a couple of weeks to another career opportunity.
Roz: [jumping in, to the microphone in front of Noel] That's KPXY, the Mighty Pixy, Seattle's more exciting talk, Whoo-hoo!
Frasier: [glares at Roz] In the meantime, we have with us today Noel Shempsky, a KACL employee whose sole qualification for this job seems to be that he has never taken a sick day.
Noel: Good afternoon, listeners, near and stars away. Our first query comes from a Class M planet we call Earth, and appears to be personal in nature. [Frasier is putting his head in his palms and drumming his fingers.] Oh, and his name is Glen.
Frasier: [drumming the console with his knuckles] Go ahead, Glen, I'm listening.
Roz: [to Noel] Okay, Noel, that was good, but you need to tell Frasier the name of the caller, the town they're calling form, and why they're calling.
Noel: Okay. [rising] You know, maybe I would learn more if you sat down behind me and guided my hands, like they did in Ghost.
[Roz has taken a seat in the chair. Noel attempts to sit on her lap, misses, and falls down to the floor.]
Roz: Ooh! Noel!! [She recoils in disgust.]
[Julia enters Roz's booth from the outside as Noel is in this compromising position. He has now turned to face Roz and is on his knees.]
Noel: Oh, hi Julia!
Roz: Do you mind? I'm trying to show Noel what I do.
Julia: [wryly] Is that why he's on his knees?
[Julia walks through the door to Frasier and sits next to him.]
Roz: Get up. Now let me give you some pointers on call screening. Your first priority are your leapers and jumpers. Next up, angry people, they're great energy and a welcome change from our largest group, the sad sacks. The trick of it is, you want to arrange these calls so that each segment is "can't miss" radio.
Noel: I thought it was just about Frasier doing good work.
Roz: Please, it's all about ratings! If the station had its way, every call would end in an auto-erotic suicide.
Frasier: Thank you, Roz, now that Seattle knows how we do things around here, perhaps you could let Noel know to keep his elbow off the mic button.
[Noel quickly moves his elbow, which he has been leaning on the console. Julia and Frasier snicker at Roz and Noel. Fade out.]
[Scene 2 - Frasier's apartment Frasier and Roz are seated at the dining table doing paperwork. Martin is in his chair.]
Frasier: Oh, Roz, do you realize this is the last time we'll do paperwork together?
Roz: [flatly] Yeah, it's really sad.
Martin: What exactly is the new job, Roz?
Roz: Program director.
Martin: Ooh, now that's a job. Let me give you a piece of advice. Less smut and more older-people shows.
Roz: Yeah, I know, Martin, but that's not exactly what they're going for.
Martin: You could have a show about owning dogs, or how about this: A show where people just call in with jokes they've heard. That'd be a riot.
Frasier: I think they're looking for a wider audience than just you, Dad.
Martin: Lots of people would be interested in that sort of thing.
Roz: Yeah, but the advertisers are looking for the young dollars.
Martin: What's wrong with my money?
Roz: You don't spend it all on fast food and beer.
Martin: Yes, I do! [rising] You know, I'm tired of society blowing me off just because I'm a senior citizen. You know, one day we're going to rise and take this country back from you young smart alecks. And it won't be pretty either. [He begins to exit.]
Roz: I could mention the joke idea to my boss.
Martin: You just bought yourself a little more time. [He exits.]
Frasier: Well, here it is, Roz, the final parking requisition form. The end of an era. Listen, I know that Kenny is giving you a going- away dinner, but I wanted to have a little celebratory dinner, just the two of us, all right? Any night you're free.
Roz: Well, Niles and Daphne are watching Alice. How about tonight?
Frasier: [rising] Well, actually I'm-I'm meeting Julia later.
Roz: [rising] Why would you want to do that?
Frasier: [walking behind the couch] Well, we've sort of been seeing each other lately.
Roz: [truly shocked] You and Julia?! She's a total bitch.
Frasier: Now, Roz, if you took the time to get to know her, you'd see that she's really not such a bad person.
Roz: Like get to know her naked, you mean.
Frasier: [with irritation] No. I think she's been misjudged. Sure, she's got a lot of walls up, but there must be something good inside if it needs that much protection.
Roz: Well, there are walls around prisons, too. [She gets ready to leave.]
Frasier: Yes, Roz, your opinion has been noted.
Roz: [as she exits with her briefcase] There are walls around insane asylums, cholera wards...
Frasier: [holding the door] Thank you, Roz.
Roz: ...nuclear facilities, gator farms.
Frasier: All right, shut up.
[She exits. He closes the door. Fade out.]
[Scene 3 - Niles's and Daphne's apartment at the Montana Daphne is seated on a chair next to the fainting couch, wearing a pink boa and looking casual and relaxed. Alice is chasing Niles. She tags him.]
Alice: Got you!
Niles: [playing] Ooh!
Alice: Now you chase me!
Niles: [winded] Oh, no, I think it's Daphne's turn.
Daphne: Oh, no, I just had four turns in a row. But you know who does want a turn? The TV! [She grabs Alice and seats her in front of the entertainment center.] Come on, your video's all cued up.
[She sighs with relief and returns to her chair.]
Niles: Should we really be plopping her in front of the tube?
Daphne: It's an educational tape. Did you want to read her more Jung for Jungsters?
Niles: She doesn't seem to respond to it. Perhaps that's a treat we'll save for our own child. When will that be? When are we going to have a child of our own?
Daphne: Oh, I don't know, when we're ready.
Niles: Yes, we always say that, but how will we know when we're ready? I mean, if it were just me, I'm ready right now.
Daphne: I just don't feel like we're quite there yet.
Niles: Well, what has to change?
[At this point, Gertrude Moon walks in the front door.]
Gertrude: What's this little brat doing here? Make sure it don't make any noise. [She exits upstairs.]
Daphne: Maybe it's me biorhythms.
Niles: [laughing] Daphne, might this have something to do with your mother living with us?
[As he says this, he moves from the fainting couch to the coffee table to face Daphne. He sits on one of Alice's toys, which squeaks. He and Daphne laugh as he removes it.]
Daphne: Well, I've always thought in the back of my head that we'd start a family after she left.
Niles: But that doesn't have to stop us from getting pregnant. And once we are, we've got nine months to get her out of the house.
Daphne: Are you kidding? If she found out there's a grandchild on the way, she'd never leave. And I don't think I could take Mum and morning sickness at the same time.
Niles: [lovingly] Oh the other hand, a grandmother can be a wonderful influence on a child.
[Gertrude re-enters from the stairway.]
Gertrude: Alice...you help Auntie Gert find her cigarettes, and you can have one.
[She smiles and walks to the kitchen. Daphne smiles knowingly at Niles, who chuckles. Fade out.]
AND LEAVE ALL THIS?
[Scene 4 - An elegant dining room. It is Roz's going-away party. Kenny, Frasier, Noel, Bulldog, Gil, Julia, and others are present.]
Kenny: [standing and tapping a glass with a spoon] I think now would be a good time if anyone wants to stand up and say a few words to Roz. I know I'll miss her, which is why I'm proud to present her with this picture of the two of us at the last company picnic. [He hands her a 4X6 snapshot.] Won't that baby look nice in a frame? Enjoy.
[Kenny pats her on the shoulder and sits down. Noel rises.]
Noel: I'm next.
[Noel pulls out a page, which he unfolds and from which he then reads.]
Noel: "Sweetest Roz, you are my ship when I'm at sea, my fairest rose, my fantasy. With each sunrise my thanks I send, for you, my love, my true best friend."
[Roz seems genuinely touched by Noel's speech. Bulldog makes faces while Noel is reading. After he finishes, most attendees are polite and say "Nice," etc. Bulldog reacts quite differently.]
Bulldog: Puke!
Noel: That was beautiful, you son of a b.
Bulldog: [rising] Okay, everyb...[Noel is in his face.] Sit down. Sit down, Noel, sit down! Okay, everybody, Bulldog to the rescue. Now, I don't want to say Roz has had a lot of s*x, but she's spent more time on her back than King Tut. [Frasier, Julia, Kenny, and Roz all have stunned looks on their faces.] Did you hear the story about the guy at KACL who didn't have s*x with Roz? Me neither. But, uh, seriously--what's the difference between Roz and a dog in heat? [Frasier covers his face.] No, really, I'm asking. [uncomfortable pause] You people suck!
Frasier: It's not a roast, Bulldog.
Bulldog: It's not? I paid a guy at the Chuckle Factory 50 bucks to write jokes for me.
Gil: When's he getting here?
Bulldog: Okay, okay, you want a speech? Best of luck in your new job, Roz. [She smiles and raises her glass to him.] If you ever need a sports guy, I'm your man. And I wouldn't have any problem with you being my boss. After all, I know what it feels like to be underneath you. Am I right?
Noel: [rising angrily to confront Bulldog] Watch what you SAY ABOUT HER!!
[Frasier restrains Noel. Bulldog rushes away from him.]
Frasier: Noel! Come on. Walk it off, Noel, walk it off.
Gil: Careful, gents! Really, the way you two are always carrying on, people are going to start talking. [He grins cheesily and rises.] Hello, all. Gil Chesterton here, with a toast to Roz Doyle.
Frasier: Hear, hear.
Gil: A wonderful co-worker, and a good friend.
All: Hear, hear.
Gil: Of course, I too noticed Roz's s*x appeal immediately. She had the same effect on all of us stallions in the KACL corral. She made us want to paw the ground and rise up on our powerful haunches [becoming more passionate], fetlocks glistening. Smokey, Misty, Storm! Away!
[Gil downs his entire glass. His overwrought "heterosexuality" has made everybody uncomfortable.]
Kenny: Okay, bar's closed. Gil?
[Kenny whistles and motions for Gil to sit, which he does.]
Kenny: Uh, Julia, your turn.
Julia: [taken a bit by surprise, but very sincerely] Oh! Uh, well, I've only known Roz a short time, but I can see that she's a valuable member of this team, and I'm sure you'll be missed. Good luck.
[This is the most sincere and respectful speech yet. Given the source, all are surprised. All raise their glasses. Frasier rises.]
Frasier: Well said, well said. Roz...I celebrate your new adventure with you, but I wouldn't be honest if I didn't say that this is a big loss for me. You were there on my first day at KACL, and you took me under your wing.
Bulldog: [grinning] It's crowded under there.
Noel: [menacingly whispering to Bulldog] I will kill you!
[Bulldog moves a bit away. Roz smiles uncomfortably.]
Frasier: [continuing] I don't think I'll ever grow accustomed to seeing somebody else in your booth. And certainly noone else can ever take your place in our hearts. And while we welcome new friends... [He places his arm on Julia's shoulder and looks at her with affection. Roz has a reaction of discerinble pain when she sees this.]...we are sad to say good-bye to old ones. Good luck, Roz.
All: Hear, hear! Speech! Come on, Roz, speech!
Roz: [rising and clearing throat] Thanks you guys. [She sees Julia comfortably resting her arm on Frasier's shoulder.] I just love you all for doing this for me. We really are like a family, aren't we? You know, this job at KPXY is a really great, great opportunity. But it'll never be like this. Which is why I'm changing my mind. I can't leave KACL, I'm staying!
Kenny: Really!
[He hugs her. Others react similarly. All applaud. Frasier rises and gives Roz a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Julia applauds with the rest, but the look on her face is uncomfortable and suspicious. Fade out.]
END OF ACT I
ACT II
[Scene 5 - Cafe Nervosa Frasier and Roz approach the counter, where Gertrude is working.]
Frasier: [into his phone] Thank you very much. [hanging up his phone] Oh. Mrs. Moon, we'd like to get two double lattes to go, please.
Gertrude: [smiling] For an extra dollar, I can add a nip of brandy.
Frasier: Is that on the menu?
Gertrude: [pulling a whiskey bottle from her blouse] It's on the secret menu.
Frasier: I'll pass, thank you.
Roz: You know, Frasier, I feel so invigorated to get back to my old job.
Frasier: Oh, Roz...
Roz: In fact. I'd really like to record some promos tonight if you're available.
Frasier: Oh, I can't. I'm taking Julia to the movies. One of my favorites, Noch Einen Stuhl.
Roz: Noch Einen Stuhl?
Frasier: Yes, it's the story of a 19th-century Austrian family as told from the point of view of an old fireside armchair.
Roz: I'm sorry, I dozed off, what were you saying?
Frasier: [after giving her a look] You know what, I've got to get an alternative newspaper to check show times. I'll be right back.
Gertrude: [bringing their order] Here we are.
[Frasier's cell phone, which he has left on the counter, rings.]
Gertrude: Your phone's ringing.
Roz: Oh, it's not mine, it's Frasier's.
[The phone continues to ring. Roz checks the caller ID and drops the phone.]
Roz: Ooh! It's Julia.
Gertrude: Who's that?
Roz: This witch who's trying to get her hooks into Frasier. [enunciating to the phone] I hate her.
Gertrude: I'll fix her.
[Gertrude answers the phone.]
Roz: Wh-what are you doing?
Gertrude: [waving Roz off, talking to the phone in a "seductive" voice] Hello. [pause] Oh, I'm sorry, Frasier's in no position to talk, if you, uh, get my meaning. Who's this, then? Hold on. [She holds the phone at a short distance.] Sweetheart? Do you want to talk to a Julia? [giggling girlishly] Oh! Frasier, put me down! [normal voice] Sorry, he's not here after all. Bye, now. [She hangs up quickly.] There. Problem solved.
Roz: You know, you probably ruined their entire evening. How can I thank you?
[Frasier returns, grabbing his phone.]
Frasier: Only one showing of Noch Einen Stuhl tonight. Got to go by the box office and pick up the tickets.
Roz: [sarcastically] Yes, I bet they're going fast.
[They head to the exit, and run into Niles and Daphne, who are coming in.]
Daphne: Hello!
Frasier: Oh, sorry! Wish we could join you guys. I'm going to get tickets for Noch Einen Stuhl!
Niles: [checking his watch] Cutting it a little close, aren't you?
[Frasier and Roz exit. Niles and Daphne approach a table.]
Daphne: Hey, Mum! Whan you finish your shift, we'll drive you home.
Gertrude: Really? Are you sure it wouldn't give you more pleasure to see me walk home on my bloody stumps?
Daphne: Well, it would, but we're in a hurry.
Niles: We'll, uh, we'll be here when you're ready.
[They observe a mother with an infant in a carrier.]
Daphne: Oh, Niles...
Niles: Oh...
Daphne: Just think, one day we'll have one of those.
Niles: Yes, just one awkward chore to get out of the way.
Daphne: Well, that's romantic.
Niles: I meant asking your mother to move out.
Daphne: We're not asking her, Niles, we're telling her!
Niles: I know, I know.
Daphne: You have to be firm.
Niles: Yes.
Daphne: This is a woman who came for a week and stayed for a year and a half.
Niles: Yes, I know, I just think that--
Daphne: It's not like she's got no place to go. She's got seven other children!
Niles: I know.
Daphne: Plus a home and friends in England.
Niles: Many friends, yes, I just, I...I just don't know how to break it to her.
Daphne: Well, the sooner we do, the sooner we can start our own family.
Niles: You're right. Do you realize, this time next year we could be sitting here with our own baby?
Gertrude: [overhearing as she walks by] Baby? What's this, then?
Daphne: We'll talk about it later.
Gertrude: I want to talk about it now. What's going on?
Daphne: Well, I was going to wait until later, but if you really want to know, we--
Niles: Wait, wait, Daphne, Daphne. [clears throat] We've decided to start trying to get pregnant.
Gertrude: Oh, well, I'm glad you think you can. I was beginning to think there might be something wrong with your equipment, Niles.
Niles: [this is the motivation he needs] Oh, were you? Well, here's
more news: you're out of the house, so go pack your bags and find another sucker.
[Gertrude reacts. Julia has entered and stands behind her.]
Julia: Excuse me. Can I get some service over here?
Gertrude: Keep your knickers on. Don't move. We're not done hashing this through.
[She goes behind the counter and changes her attitude to take Julia's order.]
Gertrude: [in the "singsong" voice she used to answer Frasier's phone] Hello!
Julia: [recognizing the voice, and suspiciously imitating it] Hello!
Gertrude: [again singsong] Hello!
Julia: Say that again.
Gertrude: [singsong] Hello?
Julia: Now say, "Frasier's in no position to talk, if you get my meaning."
Gertrude: [immediately giving in] Now, it was all Roz's idea. I had no choice. I'm not a well woman.
[She exits to the back. Julia reacts. Fade out.]
[SCENE_BREAK]
[Scene 6 - KACL Julia enters the studio and confronts her.]
Julia: Hello, Roz.
Roz: Julia.
Julia: [closing the door] I just talked to that waitress over at Nervosa. The one that answered Frasier's phone? She gave you up immediately.
Roz: [forcing laughter] Relax? It was just a joke.
Julia: Okay. So what's going on? Do you have some sort of problem with me seeing Frasier?
Roz: Well, as long as you're asking...I think you're all wrong for him.
Julia: That's not your call.
Roz: I think I know Frasier a little better than you.
[Roz walks back to her booth. Julia, clearly deeply offended and hurt, but remaining calm, follows her.]
Julia: So?
Roz: So...he deserves someone better. Someone who'll appreciate him.
Julia: [barely keeping her cool] Oh, really?
Roz: Yeah. Frasier's a good guy. He's smart and sweet and way too good for you. Why don't you just leave? Nobody here likes you anyway.
Julia: [stoically] Frasier seems to.
Roz: Well, he's an idiot.
Julia: Are you trying to save Frasier from me or are you trying to save him for yourself?
Roz: Are you out of your mind?
Julia: [genuinely] Are you in love with him?
Roz: Go to hell, Julia!
Julia: That would explain why you turned down that great job.
Roz: [faltering] That is not true.
[At this point, Noel, Gil, Kenny, and Bulldog have all gathered at the window and begun to observe the confrontation.]
Julia: Then stay out of my way.
Roz: Or what?
Julia: Do you want to find out?
Roz: What, are you going to hit me or something?
Julia: Don't think I won't.
Roz: Well, you're sure taking your time.
[Others have joined the foursome at the window. Julia and Roz both shoot them an angry glance, and they quickly turn away their faces.]
Roz: Stay away from him? Got it?
[Julia retains her calm but cool composure. Roz exits the booth and chases away the voyeurs.]
Roz: Get out of here!
[They quickly disperse. Julia remains standing in the booth, contemplating what has just transpired. Fade out.]
[Scene 7 - Niles and Daphne's apartment Gertrude is standing in the doorway, nicely dressed and surrounded by her luggage.]
Gertrude: Well, I guess this is goodbye. Um, I just want you to know, I love you both very much, and I'm, you know, looking forward to standing on my own two feet again.
[Niles and Daphne nod without emotion.]
Gertrude: Uh, thank you for the ticket and the luggage and the clothes and the spending money. [gasping] I'm sorry. This is just so sad.
Niles: [caving] Gertrude, are you sure you're okay...
Daphne: [interrupting, bluntly and without emotion] Good-bye, Mum, have a nice trip. Say hello to everyone in Manchester for me.
Gertrude: Right, then. [She kisses Daphne on the cheek.] Good-bye, Niles. [She embraces him.] I know you'll be a wonderful father to my grandchild. I hope you'll find time to send me a picture.
Niles: [caving again] Can't we all just talk--
Daphne: [interrupting] We have your address.
Gertrude: I'm off. [She exits. Her whole demeanor has changed in this exchange. She has been less abrasive and more sincere.]
Niles: [barely containing himself] Bye.
[Daphne closes the door.]
Niles: Oh, Daphne, you were wonderful. I don't know how you did it.
[Daphne suddenly breaks down in a fit of uncontrollable sobs.]
Daphne: Hold me, Niles.
[They embrace. She continues to weep.]
Niles: Hang on, hang on. [yelling] Gertrude!
[He opens the door. She is standing right there, sobbing uncontrollably.]
Gertrude: Yes?
Niles: Come here, come here.
[She enters the apartment.]
Niles: Would you be willing to stay in Seattle if, say, you had your own apartment?
Daphne: [breathlessly] Oh, Niles!
Gertrude: Do you really mean that? I mean, I don't want to intrude.
Niles: Well, of course I mean it. And-and-and we'd even help with the rent.
Gertrude: [beginning to return to her old self] Define "help."
Niles: We'll talk.
Gertrude: Well, then, it's settled. I'll just go tell the taxi I'm not going!
Niles: No, no, no. You're going. Just tell them to take you to the Four Seasons. I'll go ahead and call and book you a room.
Gertrude: You've made me so happy, I think I'm going to cry!
[She embraces Niles. He laughs nervously. Daphne smiles lovingly.]
Gertrude: Niles, I...I don't know how to thank you.
[She exits. Niles closes the door.]
Daphne: [warmly] I do.
[She leads Niles away by the hand. Fade out.]
[Scene 8 - Frasier's apartment Martin answers the door to Roz.]
Roz: Hey, Martin.
Martin: Hi, Roz. Come in.
Roz: Is Frasier here? I really need to talk to him.
Martin: No, he went out for dinner.
Roz: Oh, let me guess: Julia.
Martin: [a bit shocked] Wow! Not a fan, huh?
Roz: I can't stand her actually.
Martin: Really? [chuckling] Well, I just met her this evening, but she seemed nice to me.
[Martin moves to sit in his chair.]
Roz: [sitting on the coffee table] Well, that's because she's got you snowed. She's a mean, snooty tight-ass who thinks she's better than everybody else, and Frasier's making a giant mistake and somebody's got to do something about it.
Martin: Well, good luck, when Frasier's heart takes over his brain shuts out.
Roz: That's why we have to do something now, before this relationship gets any closer. Will you help me?
Martin: [tentatively] Well, Roz, if you feel that strongly about it, sure, I'll back you up.
[Frasier and Julia enter. Julia is carrying a cake box.]
Frasier: Oh, hi guys!
Martin: Hey!
Frasier: Hi, Roz!
Julia: Hello, Roz. Nice to see you.
Roz: Julia.
Julia: [enthusiastically] Martin, I've brought you some cake from the restaurant.
Martin: Restaurant cake? [He begins to get up.]
Roz: Steady...
Julia: [from the kitchen entry] It's chocolate. Why don't I cut you a slice and pour you some milk?
Martin: [standing, to Roz] New plan. I'll distract her while you talk to Frasier.
[Martin follows Julia into the kitchen. Frasier returns from the coat racks.]
Frasier: What's going on, Roz? I didn't expect to see you tonight.
Roz: Well, um, I have something really important to talk to you about, and I really need you to listen to me.
Frasier: Well, absolutely, that's what I do.
[Frasier sits on the arm of Martin's chair, Roz on the coffee table.]
Roz: I really, really, really think you should stop seeing Julia.
Frasier: Look, I know you two have your difficulties.
Roz: [cutting him off] No! It's not that. She's all wrong for you.
Frasier: [after a pause] I think I see what's going on here. You and I have a close relationship. A new woman comes to the radio station. She and I form a close relationship, and you feel threatened.
Roz: No. She's evil. [Frasier is taken aback.] It's not your fault. You can't see it because she puts on an act around you.
Frasier: Did it ever occur to you that maybe she's putting on an act for everybody else, and that maybe I see her as she really is?
Roz: Oh, she's got you totally brainwashed.
Frasier: Roz, you have no right to come over here and run her down to me. It's really none of your business.
Roz: This is my business!
Frasier: And why?
Roz: Because...we're friends. [She suddenly becomes quite passionate.] I can't believe you're turning on me like this! I gave up a job that was ten times better to stay on your show!
Frasier: Yes, and frankly, I don't understand that! Why exactly did you turn down that job?
[They both rise.]
Roz: Out of loyalty to you!
Frasier: Loyalty to me? Are you sure? Are you sure it wasn't just fear? Are you sure you're not just using me as an excuse not to grow and move on?
[Julia enters from the kitchen.]
Julia: [cheerily] Who wants restaurant cake?
[Frasier turns to her uncomfotably.]
Roz: You're going to have to choose, Frasier.
Frasier: [angrily] You will not put me in this position, Roz. We will discuss it later!
Roz: [shouting] No! Tell me! [pointing] It's her or me! Tell me now, or I swear to God I will walk out of here and I will not come back!
[Frasier is clearly angered and offended that Roz has presented him with such a choice. He glares at her and walks to Julia's side.]
Frasier: Thank you, Julia, I think I will have some cake.
[Again he glares at Roz.]
Roz: [stunned, weakly] Fine.
[She picks up her purse and exits dramatically. Julia faces Frasier and comforts him with what seems to be real affection. Fade out.]
[Scene 9 - KPXY studio The station manager, Woody Wizwell, is showing Roz her office.]
Wiswell: And this will be your office, Ms. Doyle. Make yourself at home.
Roz: Thank you, Mr. Wiswell.
Wiswell: Uh, there's no chance you'll change your mind again, is there?
[Roz is setting up at her desk.]
Roz: No. KACL is ancient history.
Wiswell: Good.
[He exits. Roz continues to set up her desk, but she is clearly deeply troubled. Fade out.]
Credits
THANKS FOR CALLING! The faces of some of this season's guest callers are shown: Billy Bean, Charles Busch, Laura Linney, Bill Paxton, and Bradley Whitford.
NB: The "Thanks for Calling" credits have been used for seasons 2, 3, 4, 6, 9, and 10. Season 7 ended with a major cliffhanger, and the device would have been appropriate, but due to a lack of guest callers that season, NBC ran a promo after the one-hour finale both in its first-run and rerun appearances. In syndication, the credits for "Something Borrowed, Someone Blue" run over a shot of Frasier's empty apartment. Season Five was another cliffhanger, but the finale of "Sweet Dreams" famously presents "Tossed Salad and Scrambled Eggs" in Spanish and a salsa style while Frasier cleans out his office at the station. This is the only time that the theme has not been sung by Kelsey Grammer. Season Eight also had a cliffhanger, but again, a dearth of guest callers. The credit sequence for that finale, "Cranes Go Caribbean," referred to a Niles/Daphne subplot. Season One had the waitress again fixing Frasier's coffee after "My Coffee With Niles." "Thanks for Calling" seemed to become standard after season two, then disappear for a couple of seasons, but now it has been re-established. The season finales of 1, 2, 3, and 6 could be classified as "closure" rather than "cliffhanger" with Frasier spontaneously boarding a plane. Now aren't you glad I gave you that convenient (or possibly useless) little season finale compendium? :)
Plan: A: KACL; Q: What station is Roz preparing to leave? A: program director; Q: What job is Roz preparing to leave KACL to take? A: her replacement; Q: What is Noel supposed to be? A: Frasier; Q: Who is forming a new relationship with Julia? A: much confidence; Q: What does Frasier not have in Noel's decision to replace Roz? A: her mind; Q: What does Roz change at the leaving party? A: Julia; Q: Who does Frasier choose over Roz? A: a mismatch; Q: Why does Roz feel uncomfortable about Frasier's new relationship with Julia? A: the reasoning; Q: What does Julia not find convincing about Roz's new relationship with Frasier? A: Niles; Q: Who convinces Daphne's mother to live in her own apartment? A: their own family; Q: What are Niles and Daphne dreaming of starting? A: her mother; Q: Who is Daphne determined to get rid of before she and Niles start a family? A: her own apartment; Q: Where does Daphne's mother move to after Daphne's mother leaves? Summary: Roz is preparing to leave KACL to take a job as program director at another station. Noel has been delegated as her replacement, which is not a decision in which Frasier has much confidence. The station organises a leaving party for Roz, at which she becomes so emotional that she changes her mind and decides to stay after all. However, Frasier is now forming a new relationship with Julia, which makes Roz very uncomfortable, and though she claims this is just because it is a mismatch, the reasoning is not convincing to Julia. Meanwhile, Niles and Daphne are dreaming of starting their own family, but Daphne is determined to get rid of her mother before they do. After Daphne's mother leaves, Daphne breaks down in tears and Niles convinces Daphne's mother to live in her own apartment. Roz gives Frasier an ultimatum to choose her or Julia, with Frasier choosing the latter. Heartbroken, Roz quits KACL and takes up her new position.