IMAGE OF THE FENDAHL
BY: CHRIS BOUCHER
Part One
Running time: 24:38
[SCENE_BREAK]
COLBY: Oh, don't just sit there, Eustace, say something.
THEA: Why don't you just publish and get it over with.
COLBY: Why should anyone believe it? I found him and I don't.
THEA: Are you questioning my technical competence.
COLBY: Of course not. The volcanic sediment is twelve million years old. I accept without reservation the results of your excellent potassium-argon test.
THEA: Thank you.
COLBY: What I don't accept is that Eustace here got himself buried under a volcano at least eight million years before he could have possibly existed.
STAEL: Colby, Doctor Fendelman is waiting for the corrected coordinates.
COLBY: Here you go.
STAEL: Thank you.
COLBY: Oh, and Maxi, end the day with a smile.
[SCENE_BREAK]
FENDELMAN: Yes. Good, good. Right. Stael, we can begin.
FENDELMAN: Phase one power.
STAEL: Phase one power.
FENDELMAN: Phase two power.
STAEL: Phase two power.
FENDELMAN: Switching to main computer control.
FENDELMAN: Activate full power run-up sequence.
STAEL: Activating full power run-up sequence, now.
[SCENE_BREAK]
MAN: I can't, I can't.
[SCENE_BREAK]
STAEL: Full power.
FENDELMAN: Excellent, Stael. We can begin the scan. Commencing scan, programme one.
[SCENE_BREAK]
LEELA: Professor Marius would not be very pleased.
DOCTOR: Nasty. Very nasty.
LEELA: Will he be all right?
DOCTOR: Shush. I don't know. It will be all right. It just has a little corrosion in its circuits.
LEELA: I can call K9 he if I want to. You call the TARDIS she.
DOCTOR: Never.
LEELA: Never. You do. I've heard you. You called it she just a moment ago. And another thing. It is quite clear to me that you cannot control this old machine either.
DOCTOR: What did you say, Leela?
LEELA: Leela said
DOCTOR: I heard what you said.
LEELA: Then why ask?
DOCTOR: Leela, I understand the TARDIS perfectly. There's not one single part of her that I haven't adjusted or repaired at some time or another.
LEELA: Don't cry about it.
DOCTOR: Furthermore, I am in complete and constant control of her.
LEELA: Complete and constant? What is it? What's wrong?
DOCTOR: Someone's using a sonic time scan. Come on, old girl. Don't let us down now. Come on.
LEELA: What's happening?
DOCTOR: We're being dragged towards a relative continuum displacement zone.
LEELA: A what?
DOCTOR: A relative continuum displacement. It's like a hole in time.
LEELA: What will happen?
DOCTOR: I wish I knew.
LEELA: Can we get free?
DOCTOR: That depends on this misunderstood, unmanageable old machine.
LEELA: I meant no disrespect.
DOCTOR: She's turning.
LEELA: I could have been mistaken.
DOCTOR: She's done it. Well done, old girl. You're wonderful. Wonderful. She's wonderful. Isn't she wonderful? TARDIS wonderful!
LEELA: Doctor, you did not tell me. Can she really understand what we say?
DOCTOR: Yeah, well, she just generates a low intensity telepathic field, and obviously primitive thought patterns like yours appeal to her.
LEELA: They do?
DOCTOR: Yes.
LEELA: Oh. Oh.
DOCTOR: That's odd.
LEELA: What, my thought patterns?
DOCTOR: What? No, no, no. I can't calculate the coordinates.
LEELA: What are we going to do?
DOCTOR: We'll just have to trace the scan back to its source.
LEELA: To destroy it?
DOCTOR: We have to stop it being used, certainly, otherwise it'll cause a direct continuum implosion and destroy the planet it's operating from.
LEELA: Well, do we know which one that is yet?
DOCTOR: It can't be. Oh, no.
LEELA: What? What is it?
DOCTOR: Not that one.
LEELA: What one?
DOCTOR: Not there.
LEELA: Not where?
DOCTOR: Earth.
LEELA: Earth?
DOCTOR: Yes. Your ancestors have a talent for self-destruction that borders on genius.
LEELA: Listen, Doctor, I do not like the way you keep talking about my ancestors.
DOCTOR: I like your new dress.
LEELA: Thank you.
DOCTOR: It's a pleasure.
[SCENE_BREAK]
FENDELMAN: Ah, Thea. You are feeling better this morning?
THEA: Yes, I'm fine, thanks, Doctor Fendelman. I still don't remember what happened, though. But I do remember it was your turn to make breakfast this morning, Max.
FENDELMAN: Ah yes. I'm afraid that was my fault. We have been working all night, haven't we, Max. We have only just finished. And the results, I think the results will amaze even Colby. Where is he, by the way?
THEA: He's out, exercising Leaky.
[SCENE_BREAK]
COLBY: Leaky! Here, boy! Leaky, come on. Leaky, now what have you got there? More bones, is it, you old bone hunter you.
[SCENE_BREAK]
FENDELMAN: But Colby's methodology cannot be faulted. The excavation of the skull was brilliant. The reconstruction was first class work.
THEA: But he cannot accept the evolutionary implications.
FENDELMAN: And you, Thea? Can you accept them?
THEA: Chronology is my field, Doctor Fendelman. I'm a technician, not a human palaeontologist.
COLBY: There's a corpse by the wood.
FENDELMAN: What sort of corpse?
COLBY: A dead one. What other sort is there?
FENDELMAN: Male or female?
COLBY: Oh, male.
THEA: Do we know him?
COLBY: I never saw him before.
FENDELMAN: How did he die? Are there signs of violence?
COLBY: Well, not exactly. By the look of him, he didn't die easily.
STAEL: It is never easy to die.
COLBY: Well, thank you, Max. I'm going to call the police.
FENDELMAN: No, a moment, a moment. No, we must consider.
COLBY: What's to consider? There's a body out there. We can't just leave it. Or are you breeding vultures in that secret lab of yours, hmm?
FENDELMAN: This is no time for discourtesy, Adam.
COLBY: I'm sorry. It was a shock. He looks terrible. He must have been terrified when he died.
FENDELMAN: Adam, Adam, just think for a moment. These woods, they are supposed to be haunted. Now can you imagine what would happen if there were news of a mysterious death in them?
THEA: Well, there'd be a certain amount of publicity.
FENDELMAN: Publicity? It would be a circus. They attract enough lunatics already without advertising for them.
COLBY: I don't see that we've much alternative.
FENDELMAN: Adam, Adam. Our work is at a critical stage. Your discovery could be one of the most important milestones in human development. Your work will fundamentally affect how man views himself. We cannot be interrupted at this moment of destiny.
COLBY: Yes, but
FENDELMAN: And besides, we wouldn't want your Nobel Prize to be jeopardised by an unfortunate coincidence, now would we?
THEA: What are you suggesting?
FENDELMAN: I'm not suggesting anything. Adam will recover and then he can show us the body. Then we will decide, eh? We could arrange for it to be found somewhere else.
THEA: But that's illegal!
FENDELMAN: A small deception only.
THEA: Adam, you can't possibly
COLBY: It wouldn't make much difference.
FENDELMAN: There, you see? We work something out, eh? Stael. (quietly) Get on to London. Tell Hartman I want a security team here within two hours. Tell him I want the best men we have and I want them armed. Then I shall want you to do a post- mortem on that body.
[SCENE_BREAK]
LEELA: Earth?
DOCTOR: Earth.
LEELA: Is this the place of the sonic time scan?
DOCTOR: Oh, yes. Oh, well, more or less. I haven't pinpointed it definitely, but it's certain to be around here somewhere.
LEELA: Come on then.
DOCTOR: No, no, no. The one who leads says come on. Come on.
[SCENE_BREAK]
DOCTOR: Good morning, ladies. Now, which one of you has the time scanner, hmm?
LEELA: This doesn't look like the place, Doctor.
DOCTOR: I did say more or less, though this does look rather less than more. You know, I don't think these cows know anything about the time scanner. Never mind. It's a beautiful day. The exercise will do us good. Come on.
[SCENE_BREAK]
FENDELMAN: Ah. Look, it's there, Stael. If we can get a visual representation of this area here, then we shall see the living owner of that skull.
STAEL: I have completed the post-mortem.
FENDELMAN: And?
STAEL: I cannot find the exact cause of death. There is a small blister at the base of his skull, but that can't have killed him.
FENDELMAN: Natural causes, then.
STAEL: There is something strange.
FENDELMAN: Oh, what's that?
STAEL: The outward signs are that the man died quite recently. His watch is still working, he has a Thermos of tea in his pocket which is still hot, yesterday's newspaper. The mud on his boots is still
FENDELMAN: Yes, yes, yes, Stael, get on with it.
STAEL: The body is decomposing.
FENDELMAN: Already?
STAEL: It's falling apart as you watch.
FENDELMAN: The cause?
STAEL: I don't know, but it's as though all the energy has been removed. All the binding force has gone and all that remains is a husk.
FENDELMAN: Are the security team in place?
STAEL: Yes.
FENDELMAN: Good. You will dispose of the body, Stael, and nobody must know of this. Nobody at all.
[SCENE_BREAK]
LEELA: Doctor? Doctor!
DOCTOR: Hmm?
LEELA: He came armed and silent.
DOCTOR: You must have been sent by Providence.
MOSS: No, I was sent by the Council to cut the verges.
LEELA: Your Council should choose its warriors more carefully. A child of the Sevateem could have taken you.
MOSS: Escaped from somewhere, hasn't she? If you're her doctor, you shouldn't let her wander around loose. She could do someone a damage.
LEELA: He was not hunting us?
DOCTOR: No. Would you like a jelly baby?
MOSS: You've both escaped from somewhere, haven't you.
DOCTOR: Frequently. What's the nearest village?
MOSS: Fetchborough, about a mile down that way.
DOCTOR: Fetchborough. Tell me about the ghosts.
MOSS: Don't know what you mean. Ain't nothing like that around here.
LEELA: He is lying.
DOCTOR: The strangers, then.
MOSS: What, Fendelman and that lot up at the Priory?
DOCTOR: Yes, Fendelman. Tell me about him.
MOSS: Well, he's foreign, isn't he. Calls hisself a scientist. They do say he's one of the richest men in the world. You wouldn't think so to look at him, scruffy devil. They say he made his money out of electronics, but that don't seem likely 'cos he ain't Japanese.
DOCTOR: Japanese?
MOSS: No. His people dig up bodies.
DOCTOR: They do? Splendid.
LEELA: Grave robbers.
DOCTOR: Or archaeologists. Where is this Priory?
MOSS: Yon side of village.
DOCTOR: And it's haunted, of course.
MOSS: Oh aye, but it's the wood more than the
DOCTOR: Shush. Don't you worry. What's your name?
MOSS: Ted Moss.
DOCTOR: Ted Moss? Hmm. Don't you worry, Mister Moss. We won't tell a soul, living or dead. Come on, Leela.
[SCENE_BREAK]
MITCHELL: Just relax and stay there. We'll get it sorted out.
MARTHA: Don't 'ee tell me what to do in me own kitchen.
MITCHELL: This isn't your kitchen, Grandma.
MARTHA: I bain't your grandma. Don't 'ee grandma me.
COLBY: Hey, what's going on here? Who are you?
MARTHA: This fellow's trying to stop me comin' in the house.
MITCHELL: My name is Mitchell. I'm the security team leader. And no one is allowed in or out without clearance. This loony old trout seems to think she's an exception.
MARTHA: Loony old trout?
COLBY: Oh, gently, Mrs T, gently. Remember your varicose veins.
MITCHELL: I've had it with you now, you old stoat. Any more trouble and I'll have you outside and set the dog on you.
COLBY: Hey, now, just a minute.
THEA: You can't talk to her like that.
MARTHA: Oh, don't 'ee mind him, my lovelies. Sooner or later he'll be sorry. Later or sooner, he'll regret. Well, I'll be going now, Professor. You can tell Doctor Fendelman I'll come back when the others is gone. I don't hold with the likes of 'ee. There isn't a dog born that as attack me, boy. They got more sense than most people.
MITCHELL: Now I can see why they burnt witches.
COLBY: Cheaper than oil. I don't know who you are, friend, but I hope you can cook.
MITCHELL: I told you who I am.
COLBY: You meant all that stuff about restrictions?
MITCHELL: Of course.
THEA: You said no one could come in or out without authorisation.
MITCHELL: No.
THEA: Does that apply to us?
MITCHELL: Yes, Miss Ransome.
THEA: Oh, that's ridiculous.
COLBY: Authorisation from whom?
MITCHELL: I think you'd better have a word with Doctor Fendelman.
COLBY: Stay here, Thea. I'll go.
[SCENE_BREAK]
COLBY: Doctor Fendelman?
COLBY: What on Earth's he playing at?
FENDELMAN: You are impressed?
COLBY: Oh, I don't know. I always say if you've seen one jukebox, you've seen them all. This is archaeology?
FENDELMAN: Oh, this is the ultimate archaeology, Adam. It was data from here which led me to the excavation sites in Kenya. And when we had excavated the skull and assembled it and Thea had dated it, then the real work of this machine could begin.
COLBY: And that is?
FENDELMAN: About ten years ago, when I was working on a missile guidance system, I noticed a sort of vibration. A sort of sonic shadow.
[SCENE_BREAK]
DOCTOR: What is it?
LEELA: There's a guard. I shall kill him.
DOCTOR: No.
LEELA: Why not?
DOCTOR: You'll upset the dog. Listen, Leela, you simply must stop attacking people.
LEELA: Why?
DOCTOR: Because you'll get us into trouble.
LEELA: Do not worry, Doctor. I shall protect you.
DOCTOR: What? You'll protect me? Come on, we'll circle round the back. Come on!
[SCENE_BREAK]
COLBY: Crazy as a bed bug. He actually believes that he can see into the past with that electronic fruit machine he's got down there.
THEA: Did he demonstrate it for you?
COLBY: Did he demonstrate it? Of course he didn't demonstrate it. How could he? I mean, the whole thing's a load of old rubbish. He thinks because he can pervert the laws of the land, he can do the same for the laws of physics.
THEA: Well, it's a bit late to be self-righteous about perverting the laws of the land, isn't it.
COLBY: What? Yes. Yes, I suppose it is.
THEA: Did he, er, did he give any reason for not demonstrating it?
COLBY: Apparently it only works after dark.
THEA: Hmm. Minimising solar disruption, perhaps.
COLBY: What?
THEA: Well, Fendelman's no fool when it comes to electronics. He was one of the authentic geniuses in the field until he developed this interest in the origins of man.
COLBY: You mean until he flipped his lid. Oh, come on. We'll go and get the supper.
[SCENE_BREAK]
DOCTOR: The house must be that way. Now come on.
[SCENE_BREAK]
DOCTOR: All right, now whatever you do, stay close to me, you understand? Leela?
DOCTOR: Leela! She's done it again.
Plan: A: Archeologists; Q: Who uses a time scanner to explore the history of a sinister 12 million year old skull? A: a reputedly haunted woods; Q: Where are the archeologists near? A: a time scanner; Q: What do the archeologists use to explore the history of a sinister 12 million year old skull? A: a hole; Q: What did the archeologists create in time that attracted the Doctor's attention? Summary: Archeologists near a reputedly haunted woods use a time scanner to explore the history of a sinister 12 million year old skull, creating a hole in time that attracts the Doctor's attention.