Sheldon: This is not your office. Scene: Penny's apartment. (Opens parcel to find a huge and not at all flattering painting of Penny and Amy)
Amy: I wanted to get you something you didn't have. Hang it. President Siebert? And for the record, butter is an excellent lubricant for your rectal exam. Siebert: Gentlemen, I'm going to allow the two of you to work this out because A, you're both brilliant scientists, and B, as far as who gets Rothman's office, I couldn't give the furry crack of a rat's behind. Bernadette: That is big. Bernadette: And ugly. Do you like pictures of yourself where you look like a man? Penny: How about I tell her the painting makes you feel jealous because you're not in it? Both: Sports. Sheldon chases ball back across the room chased by Kripke. Later. The highest bounce wins the office. Good night, painting Penny. Amy: You hate it. Penny: Oh, Amy, come on. Penny: I know. The painting is a constant reminder that of the three of us, she is the least cool. It turns out the thermostat for my new office isn't in my new office. It's next door, in Professor Davenport's office, who is currently enjoying the hot flashes associated with menopause. I've narrowed it down to two possibilities: There was something in the wall that someone outside the wall wanted, or the more disturbing, there was something in the wall that wanted out. Listen. Sheldon: Yeah, It's completely out of tune with the wind chimes. That's a mockingbird. My nervous system is being stretched out like the strings of a harp and plucked by holes and birds and wind and the low-hanging scrotum of the difficult-to-evict Professor Rothman. Penny: How's that? Penny: Mm.
Plan: A: The deranged Professor Rothman; Q: Who is forced to retire, leaving his office vacant? A: Both Sheldon; Q: Who wins the basketball game? A: Sheldon; Q: Who wins the basketball challenge? A: Kripke; Q: Who does Sheldon fight with for the vacant office? A: President Siebert; Q: Who is not interested in Sheldon and Kripke's argument? A: basketball; Q: What sport do Sheldon and Kripke play to settle their argument? A: sports; Q: What are Sheldon and Kripke both bad at? A: the ball; Q: What does Sheldon bounce the highest? A: his new office; Q: What does Sheldon enjoy until he finds out that the thermostat for the air conditioner is in another room where the occupant is experiencing hot flashes? A: the upstairs geology department; Q: What department is too noisy in Sheldon's new office? A: tune; Q: What are the mockingbirds completely out of with the wind chimes? A: Amy; Q: Who is upset that Penny removed the painting from her wall? A: Penny; Q: Who removed the painting from Amy's apartment? A: an enormous painting; Q: What did Amy give Penny? A: a man; Q: What does Bernadette think Penny looks like in the painting? A: her wall; Q: Where did Penny remove the painting from? A: her friendship; Q: What does Amy think is one-sided with Penny? A: Later Penny; Q: When Amy finds out that Penny removed the painting from her wall, who hangs it on the fourth wall? A: the fourth wall; Q: Where does Penny hang the painting that Bernadette gave her? Summary: The deranged Professor Rothman is forced to retire, leaving his office vacant. Both Sheldon and Kripke fight for the office and bring it to the attention of President Siebert, who is not interested in listening to their argument. Sheldon and Kripke decide to settle their argument once and for all by playing a game of basketball, as both are bad at sports. However it soon becomes evident that both do not know how to play it, and the challenge is reduced to who bounces the ball highest. Sheldon wins the challenge and gets the office. He enjoys his new office until he finds out that the thermostat for the air conditioner is in another room where its occupant is experiencing hot flashes, the upstairs geology department is too noisy and the mockingbirds are "completely out-of-tune" with the wind chimes. Meanwhile, Amy gives Penny an enormous painting depicting the two of them, which Penny absolutely hates. When Bernadette sees the painting, she comments that Penny looks like a man in it, prompting Penny to remove it from her wall and deciding to hang it only when Amy comes to her apartment. Unfortunately, Amy finds out that Penny removed the painting and becomes upset, thinking that her friendship with Penny is one-sided. Penny consoles Amy by lying that she removed the painting from the wall because Bernadette was jealous that she was not in the painting. Later Penny hangs the painting on the fourth wall.