ACT ONE
Scene One - KACL Frasier is doing his show. Barracuda: Is no matter. But she did ask me to give you a message. Has-Been! He struts off. He turns to Frasier and Roz and mouths, "Help Me!" How did it go with Maris? In the living room, Niles is talking on his cell phone. Maris is on board. Martin: The same as you! Niles: Well, actually, I-
Mimi: I don't know what it is about being on the water that makes me so thirsty! One of their celebrity entertainers cancelled on a ship that's going to Alaska, and they'll let us both go for free if you'll fill in, and all you have to do is give a brief lecture-
Frasier: Roz, I'm a psychiatrist, not a huckster! Only one man performs the procedure, and Maris wants to see him before he's extradited. Roz: Look, there he is, the Barracuda! Roz: Oh, she books the celebrities. She never came out.
Plan: A: Frasier; Q: Who is disappointed when he discovers that the living quarters are abysmal? A: Niles; Q: Who is on the cruise trying to forget his troubles? A: a cruise; Q: What do Frasier, Roz, Niles and Martin take to Alaska? A: the celebrity guest; Q: What is Frasier booked as on the cruise? A: Carlos "The Barracuda" del Gato; Q: Who is the 1970s dance musician that Roz is pursued by? A: Maris; Q: Who should have been with Niles on his anniversary? A: Switzerland; Q: Where did Maris go after Niles left a message for her to join them? Summary: Frasier, Roz, Niles and Martin take a cruise to Alaska . Frasier is booked as the celebrity guest, and is disappointed when he discovers that the living quarters are abysmal, and there turns out to be no one on board wanting to see him, nor any other well-known entertainment acts. Roz is pursued by a 1970s dance musician, Carlos "The Barracuda" del Gato. Niles is on the cruise trying to forget his troubles; it is his wedding anniversary and he should have been with Maris, but she disappeared off to Switzerland. What he does not know is that Frasier left a message suggesting she join them, and she is aboard.