Amy: Use me as a human shield! Amy: Well, you said Sheldon read it. Amy: You didn't know it, but your father was in the auditorium at your high school graduation. And a letter shows up on my 18th birthday? And he cried because he was so proud of you. Before Howard gets here, et's all just agree to not bring up the letter from his father. Eventually, his other life caught up to him, and the only way to keep you and your mom safe was to leave. Howard: Could work out. Howard: It's this stupid letter. Howard: What? I'm here to make sure your dinner party kicks Howard's dinner party's ass. It was kind of the elephant in the room, so...
Sheldon: Anyway, um, I realized that if we each present you with an account of what your father wrote to you, only one of which is true, and then we don't tell you which one it is, you will forever be in a state of epistemic ambivalence. Leonard: As is the company. Leonard: Sheldon. Leonard: You know, when I first met Howard, he would pull his scrotum out of his shorts and say, aw, I sat in gum. Look, the letter was found in Bernadette's closet. On the back he wrote Howard, my son, my greatest gift. Penny: Party's over! Penny: We heard you read the letter from Howard's father. Photos of Wolowitz family before father left forever. Raj: Okay, um, It was a card for your 18th birthday. Scene: Howard and Bernadette's apartment. Scene: Howard and Bernadette's apartment. Scene: Penny's apartment. Sheldon: It was a map leading to the lost treasure of famous pirate One-Eyed Willy. Someone please agree with me. That's the plot for Goonies. Your dad wrote about how family is the most important thing, and that you should never throw it away like he did.
Plan: A: Sheldon; Q: Who is tricked into tidying Howard and Bernadette's closet? A: Bernadette; Q: Who describes a photo of Howard's father holding him as a baby? A: their dinner party; Q: What event was Howard and Bernadette having when Sheldon found the letter? A: 18th; Q: What birthday was the letter from Howard's father written on? A: Leonard; Q: Who said that Howard's father wrote about the importance of family? A: quantum superposition; Q: What does Sheldon invoke to tell Howard what was in the letter? A: each person; Q: Who devises a version of the letter's content? A: only one; Q: How many of the versions of the letter's content are true? A: a birthday card; Q: What does Raj say his father sent him? A: The Goonies; Q: What movie does Sheldon reference when he tells Howard what was in the letter? A: Amy; Q: Who said that Howard's father secretly attended his son's high school graduation? Summary: Sheldon is tricked into tidying Howard and Bernadette's closet during their dinner party. He finds and reads a letter to Howard on his 18th birthday from his long-lost father. Howard destroys the letter without reading it and otherwise acts strangely. The others trick Sheldon into revealing the letter's content. When Howard finds out everyone knows but him, he storms out of Leonard's and Penny's dinner party. Everyone else heads to Bernadette and Howard's apartment where Sheldon invokes quantum superposition to tell Howard what was in the letter without him actually knowing; each person devises a version of the letter's content, but only one is actually true. Raj says his father sent him a birthday card; Sheldon mentions a map to One-Eyed Willy's lost pirate treasure (this is actually the plot for The Goonies); Amy says his father secretly attended his son's high school graduation and was so proud he cried; Penny says his father's "other life" caught up with him so he left his family for their safety; Leonard says his father wrote of the importance of family, and that Howard should never abandon his family as he did; Bernadette describes a photo of Howard's father holding him as a baby with the words "Howard, my son, my greatest gift". Howard is pleased, wishing all versions were true, and returns to Leonard and Penny's dinner party with everyone else.