I am already dreading my bachelorette party . Let me clarify that I am not engaged or even close to it. But I am bracing myself for the hatred I will certainly feel towards my friends whilst we plan our trip to Napa. (I've already decided it will be in Napa. Also, I love my friends and am being mostly hyperbolic.) But don't even get me started on my friends' bachelorette parties. If you're reading this, you're not getting me to pregame a Chippendales show with Jell-O shots — we are too old for that sh*t. And I shudder at the mere thought of all the group chats discussing dinner reservations, reply-all email threads about flight details, and one-off Venmo requests for booze cruises in my future.