The disclosure of sexual insecurities was a common theme. James is 41, married with two children and initially started using MDMA three years ago to try and break down his defensiveness, which he believes is related to his physically abusive childhood. A friend of his took him out to a forest with two other guys and administered the drug, and after that he asked his wife if they could take it together. James felt that his sex drive was higher than his wife’s and that the periods where she didn’t want intercourse were driving a wedge between them. “You get to crystallise the issue. It was powerful for me to say it and powerful for her to hear it.” He told me that it had changed their intimacy. “I had to not feel anything when I was growing up. Feelings were dangerous to express.” He felt the MDMA had been transformative: “What a gift to our relationship.”