In my day job as the founder of Zeta, an app that helps couples manage their finances, I spend countless hours talking to young couples who are managing money together. More often than not, I end up on coaching calls about debt — which they often accrue trying to be good friends. One of my clients, let’s call her Nieves*, described the following story to me: as a grad student with no income, she’d often get invited to catch-up dinners by friends with jobs. As her friends chatted over dinner, she’d silently stress about ordering the cheapest meal or limiting her drink intake, while her friends seemed not to care. When the bill arrived, those friends were quick to “split the bill” leaving her with a tab for food and drinks she couldn’t afford. “Quite honestly, I still look back at that time and cringe,” Nieves says. “It was incredibly embarrassing to be in that situation and I can still see the lack of empathy in their eyes. They couldn't understand why I'd come to a dinner I couldn't afford. I wanted to catch up, but I was also trying to keep my loans and expenses in check! It quickly became hard to do both."