I had flashbacks – there was a time when I'd replay his birth in my head every day. I’d be having a bath and wouldn't want to be thinking about it but the intrusive memories would replay themselves over and over again. Another of my symptoms was OCD, which I've always had to an extent. I'd wash my hands excessively and they became very sore because I was trying to be very clean around him. Whenever my partner washed bottles I’d look at them and automatically think they weren’t up to my standard of cleanliness and I'd have to do it all again. This habit was much worse after my second birth because of the PTSD. At other times I became overprotective and wouldn’t be able to share him with anybody. Other times, especially when I came out of hospital when he was about nine weeks old, I felt really inadequate and that I wasn't good enough to be his mum.