To that, I say: Have you ever tried communicating exactly how you want your body to be touched to a 20-something guy who doesn’t know the difference between wavy and curly hair? Who doesn’t know that a dress and a skirt aren’t interchangeable terms? Who doesn’t know that you don’t pee out of the same hole you bleed out of? These examples, of course, are from my own personal experience of sleeping with men, but I have a feeling many straight women out there will be able to relate. Sometimes, it’s just too exhausting — which is not to say that people with crappy partners who don’t make an effort to help them reach orgasm deserve that outcome. If you want to come, you and your partner should be actively working towards that. I’m just saying that, some days, you might want to give up and fake it, and that’s okay. You don’t always have to start an often-arduous conversation full of reassurances for your partner, who — almost by the nature of these talks — becomes the focal point of the comfort. You’re great, you’re great; it’s fine with me that I didn’t come. I promise I love having sex with you.