That's because the first step to helping a patient who may be with an abusive partner is guiding them to recognize the reality of their relationship on their own, Dr. Brustein says. But that's not always an easy process. "It might be hard for a patient to acknowledge abuse because they don’t want to see themselves as someone who is with an abuser," he explains. Accepting that you're in an abusive relationship often comes with feelings of guilt and shame for getting into it and not getting out sooner. At the same time though, "it's powerful to own that," Dr. Brustein says. (Side note: Domestic abuse can happen to anyone , it's not survivors' fault, and asking for help is hard — but very much worth doing.)