But, you may also have relied too heavily on chemistry the first time and ruled someone out if you didn't feel an immediate connection. "Many of today's daters get hung up on superficial issues, such as differing tastes in music or how someone chews their food," Burns says. "Or, they unrealistically expect fireworks from an hour-long date." Many people aren't thinking about how attraction can grow over time , especially as you and a date become more emotionally intimate . The quick-swipe mentality of online dating doesn't work when you're trying to find out whether or not you're emotionally compatible with a match, she says. So if you're ruling people out without first having important conversations about what you and they are looking for in a partner, then you might be missing out on a great match.