After looking at the woman across from me for about a half hour, I fell in love with her a little. As she blinked, or as her nose scrunched up involuntarily at certain moments, I watched her. I noticed her yawn from fatigue, and smile at me when I’d get distracted. There was such a profound feeling of openness, vulnerability, and tenderness in this part of the exercise that I felt like I knew the woman deeply by the end — simply through seeing her, and through allowing her to see me.The session concluded with another, shorter mirror-gazing session. This time felt very different than the first round. No, my judgments about my appearance didn’t disappear, nor did my instinct to then judge my judgments. But I felt a much greater sense of spaciousness and choice with regard to these thoughts. I found myself less consumed by the criticisms themselves, and more fascinated with the mere fact that these thoughts exist so strongly and prominently for me on a regular basis. Having this revelation — and developing a sense of curiosity around my own judgments — made me feel a great sense of freedom.We’re living in an age in which cultural obsession with narcissism is at an all-time high; social media platforms like Facebook and Instagram enable us to curate our self-image at all times, and yet looking in the mirror can still feel so fraught. Or at least that’s how I have felt as of late, as a frequent selfie-poster who also has mirror-phobia.Mirror meditation didn’t instantaneously fill me with warmth and self-love (and granted, I only did it once; its benefits are said to accrue with regular, prolonged practice). But it was a profound exercise in cultivating insight: I saw inside of myself in a way that I am not used to, and really felt the movement of my criticisms as they arose. The sharp awareness I developed was painful, but paradoxically liberating, and is what allowed me to answer the question, “Am I a fraud?”Long story short: I’m still a feminist who strongly believes that I’m a badass and should eat what I want and feel beautiful inside and out. And sometimes, I fully identify with this and feel a great sense of confidence and empowerment. Other times, this feels much more like an intellectual experiment, and the pain of self-criticism takes ahold of me. I am not immune to feeling shitty, as committed as I am to personal growth. No one is. Yet we can learn to be aware of the ways we are making ourselves feel shitty, and at the very least, see that they’re just thoughts.Before that night, I’m sure I would’ve dismissed the idea of "trying to perceive myself the way a stranger might" as a New Age-y platitude that was meaningless at worst, unrealistic at best. And maybe it is unrealistic. But if you can experiment with the idea of looking at yourself the way a stranger might look at you, you’ll at least find that those thoughts aren’t even there. You may even fall a little bit in love.29Rooms — Refinery29’s magical art and fashion funhouse – is back for its second year, kicking off during NYFW, from September 9 to 11. We’re bringing our commitment to women claiming their power to life, through the event’s theme, “Powered by People.” To celebrate this sense of possibility, we’ve curated content that embodies our theme and pushes you to do more — start the conversations you want to hear, make change. We built our dream world and want to inspire you to power your own. For more information on the 29Rooms event and our initiative, click here