La’Porsha, not so much. “Battles” did absolutely nothing for her voice, and the song felt like a tired chant performed by a girl who knows better. She isn’t even sure she wants to be a cheerleader, to be honest. It’s complicated. The most repetitive line — “Oooooh, we all got battles” — actually seemed to diminish La’Porsha’s own powerful life story. But whatever; the coronation tracks are always pretty dumb, so frankly I’m shocked I liked one of them. Let’s move on.

Round 2: Simon Fuller’s Choice

The executive producer loves nothing more than to pelt viewers with songs the teens would never know, and I kind of love him for that (though to be fair, I probably wouldn’t if I’d had to sit through another dreaded Motown Week this season). Trent tried to do his usual super-low-to-squeaky-high thing on Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes’ “If You Don’t Know Me by Now,” which worked briefly, but overall the song felt limiting against his energy. La’Porsha’s assignment was much better suited to her prowess — the high priestess of vocal containment took on Dionne Warwick’s version of “A House Is Not a Home” as if the sprawling key-changer were any other ditty she’d sing to her baby. Who am I kidding? She probably does. Harry Connick Jr. went nuts over how at ease La’Porsha was with such a musically complex song, while J.Lo groped around in ecstasy because this is one of her faaaaavorites. “I don’t even smoke, and I need a cigarette right now,” panted Keith Urban. Round two goes to…La’Porsha!

Round 3: Contestant’s Choice

Ugh. Redos? I do not approve, and I’m calling this one a tie. Anyone watching these finals had already seen Trent and La’Porsha slay their respective Sia songs. I wouldn’t go so far as to say Wednesday’s more fervent, higher-stakes performances tarnished the original efforts from weeks ago; I just wish we could have heard new material. Trent understandably sounded a lot more amped up on this week’s “Chandelier,” which proved jarring during the song’s more delicate moments. But by the time he drifted ever so slowly away from that final note, clinging onto this crazy shot at fame unit the last teardrop, I was sold. Likewise, I preferred La’Porsha’s original, more even-keeled attempt at Rihanna’s “Diamonds.” But how can anyone relax during the finals? And shouldn’t I feel blessed to mark these kids’ progression on beautiful songs they’ve already damn near mastered instead of feeling bitter because I wanted more? None of us get any more! The show is almost over! Uh-oh. The waterworks are kicking in. I need more eyeliner.