We might be better off than most, but it feels downwardly mobile. We both feel stuck. And seeing as we had definite designs on what our 40s would be like when we were back where you are now, we’re here to tell you that what we’re experiencing is modern; this is not your mom’s mid-life crisis. And knowing this might make you feel better, especially if you’re already tired of the rat race, or are pregnant and wondering what will happen post-maternity leave, or are waking up at night wondering how you got here. Because it’s not just that we and our contemporaries are feeling like we have less options than we used to when we were younger. It’s that despite all the Having-It-All cultural conditioning we’ve endured, we actually do have less options. In fact, the whole career landscape has changed. Technology has disrupted every industry. The cost of living is higher. The economy is shakier. Some of us are earning less than we were five or even ten years ago, in our mid-thirties, and often working even more than we were then. Those of us with (young) kids have no bandwidth at the end of the day to angle for a promotion or find a new job. It’s like being on a slowing treadmill with no way off—and all the more painful if your self worth has been wrapped up in your career.