If you aren't familiar with The Bachelor, allow me to bring you up to speed: 25 women compete to win the heart of a clean-cut white man (only to go through a very public breakup with him a year later). A handful of the women quickly realize they won't be winning or getting much airtime and use the opportunity to make lifelong friends. And almost everyone who makes it past episode six is rewarded with some sweet Instagram endorsement deals.

Scroll through the accounts of former contestants and you'll see the following over and over and over again: teeth whiteners, detox tea, and curling wands. The women display them alongside bright smiles and thick hair — so this shit appears to be working. But I'm a skeptic of anything #spon, so I put myself on the Bachelor-approved road to beauty (which, it should be said, is very narrow). For two months, I tested seven of the most popular products shilled by the reality stars. Some let me down, a couple got me laid, and in one, I actually found love.