In my own life, I’ve encountered my share of these attitudes, from straight and gay folks alike. I was welcomed with open arms into my college’s LGBT group — until the day I got a steady boyfriend. I was never explicitly uninvited from anything, but the temperature of my interactions with other members noticeably cooled, and I stopped going to meetings shortly thereafter. In the single-dating days of my early 20s, before I met my husband, I went on more than one date where the woman gave me the distinct vibe that she was testing me. When it became clear that my most formative past relationships had been with men, I could almost watch the women's interest dissipate. Obviously, this attitude isn’t universal, but when you encounter it enough times, as with any other prevalent social attitude, you start to wonder if maybe people are right about you.