Eventually, Cabrera elected to feed her baby formula. “It was nothing short of devastating,” she says. “You think, ‘This is what I‘m here for, and I can’t even do this; this is just supposed to happen.'" Having to let go of her breastfeeding dream led her to question herself as a mom.“I wish somebody had told me how challenging it could be,” Cabrera says. “I never heard of breastfeeding as a challenge before actually having a baby; it’s a deep, dark secret that nobody tells you.” But, more than anything else, Cabrera wishes someone had just told her everything would be all right either way. Ingall feels similarly: “I wish I could have been way less hard on myself,” she says.Fueling much of this pressure to breastfeed is the debate over the health benefits of breast milk versus formula. But, Cabrera says, “Formula is not kryptonite.” And, even if breastfeeding has benefits, those probably shouldn’t come at the expense of a new parent’s precious sanity or self-confidence."Imagine if we took half the energy we spend sniping at the formula crowd," Ingall writes at Babble , "and turned it, instead, toward making it easier for women who breastfeed to keep their jobs and for women who formula-feed to keep their dignity.”The bottom line, says Kaznelson, is that “if someone finds they are hitting a wall, getting support is important.” Although home visits are an option, she acknowledges that not everyone can afford them. Luckily, groups such as La Leche League and NYLCA in New York City can help connect people with consultants — and Kaznelson runs group clinics out of the nonprofit Seleni Institute . Whether or not things go according to plan, having the encouragement of an expert can make all the difference. And, you don't need to be a celebrity to have a support network.