"I’ve found that the worse you make them feel... that they know how to do it better," she says. She tells DeGeneres that you have to "tear [a lover] down" so they learn how to make your body feel good. "I say, 'What the hell is this? What's going on? You gotta make me...' And then they never play that crap with me again," she says. While Minaj may have found that speaking to her lovers this way works, shaming someone certainly isn't the healthiest way to help them learn how you like to be touched — unless, of course, humiliation is their kink