She says when you pick this person, it's best to find someone who will just listen, and not try to give you advice. If you do get advice, take it with a grain of salt. No one knows your situation like you do. “Sometimes people who mean well will say things like, ‘you should reach out to him’ or ‘I’m sure he loves you,’” Van Dahlen says. “That’s a don’t do.” If you know that reaching out to your dad would put you back in a dangerous or draining situation, keep that in the back of your mind. Don’t let someone convince you to do something that you know could ultimately be bad for you.