In The Daily Beast story, Julie's sisters recalled seeing her rapidly lose weight and said they thought it was a red flag. "Her self-confidence was plunging, and she stopped really sharing with us," one sister said. The best thing you can do if you're concerned that your friend or family members is in an abusive relationship is encourage them to learn about the signs of coercive control , and stay in touch, Dr. Fontes says. "One of the main hallmarks of coercive control is that the abuser tries to isolate the victim," she says. Even if you're just sending them a lighthearted text regularly, communication can be immensely helpful. Although your instinct might be to tell your friend what to do , that can often backfire. "Rather, you should listen, express concern, and help them find information," she adds.