This week’s trashy theme was Most-Performed Songs From Past Seasons, a brutal reminder of how far the quality of Aerosmith covers has fallen, and a wonderful chance to force contestants into time-hogging duets no one wanted — or even understood — how to do.

Case in point: Dalton Rapattoni and MacKenzie Bourg’s tired, paint-by-numbers rendition of the Backstreet Boys’ “I Want It That Way,” after which Harry Connick Jr. badgered them to explain what exactly they’d just been singing about. “I don’t know if you guys have studied lyrics, but… like, what does that mean?” They couldn’t win! Those guys were phoning in that performance and that song doesn’t make sense! In a similar lose-lose situation, viewers had no choice but to stare agape at Jennifer Lopez’s confounding Barbie dominatrix costume, basically a shiny bra with an exaggerated bib. Overalls? Booberalls. Was she dressed as a sex toy or a baby? Do we really want to know?

Those distractions somewhat helped numb the pain, but it’s so sad to see Idol burning off so quickly, ushering contestants from the stage two by two before we really get to know them. Production could have done so much more with the final season, but obviously no one cares. Well, no one except the crafty intro packaging editor, who stamped the top eight with three easy signifiers in HUGE TEXT to help us remember exactly who we should think these kids are. So this week, we bid farewell to the darling Ms. Sneakerhead, Hustle, R&B Jamz (21-year-old Avalon Young) and Mr. Baby Face, Skateboarding, Vertically Challenged (16-year-old Lee Jean). Sonika Vaid joined them in the bottom three, but was saved by her sparkle.

Here’s how the top six ranked, from nothing to no way: