10:30 p.m. — Feeling just about every emotion right now. I don't know if it's reasonable for me to be upset that two of my good friends didn't check in with me today. And rarely check in with me ever. I don't need or want them to tiptoe around me, and we talk about other things, but how hard is it to ask your grieving friend how they're doing once in a while? But at the same time, would I be any better if roles were reversed? Grief is scary and uncomfortable to everyone, especially those who aren't familiar with it. But you know what else is scary? Grieving alone, far away from my family and friends, without much of a support system in my new state. I really struggle with whether I'm being too understanding when they're actually being bad friends.