My roommates also undertook a pilgrimage to the first and only Bulletproof Coffee shop, by the beach in Santa Monica, and reported that there was a machine – the Vibe – that shakes you around very, very quickly, which is known as whole body vibration training. Apparently the experience was “unpleasant”, but then those of us in search of health and happiness are often willing to try an unlikely, potentially upsetting shortcut. Also very popular at the moment, amongst those for whom yoga and transcendental therapy is not transcendental enough, such as notable advocate Lindsay Lohan, is cryotherapy: the practise of freezing yourself inside a unfathomably cold chamber (minus 140 degrees Celsius, which is way, way colder than Antarctica) full of smoke and pop music for up to three minutes. Essentially your body believes you’re going to die and brings all your blood into your core to protect your vital organs, and accelerates your metabolism, and releases lots of uplifting endorphins. It’s another way of hacking your body.

Does this have any proven health benefits to the ordinary person? No. However I tried cryotherapy in Beverly Hills and if nothing else it was terrifying and euphoric, like a rollercoaster that convinces your body it’s about to die, and I’d recommend it to anyone.

Another thing I’d recommend is the popular pastime of hiking in LA, which is profoundly different to the rain-sodden, wind-beaten family treks through Welsh farmlands of my childhood. It’s much more glamorous and bizarre: Taylor Swift recently hiked a whole trail backwards, just to prevent a paparazzo from snapping her. Even more surprisingly, notorious noughties party photographer The Cobrasnake has reinvented himself as a sort of neon-spandex-clad fitness pied piper and he leads twice-weekly hikes (open to all, free of charge, advertised on his Instagram @cobrafitnessclub) up the mountain trails and through the canyons that wind around the city, followed by a shiny, happy posse of muscular model-types: admiring the view, posing for photos with water bottles and chia seed bars, feeling the burn. It sounds weird (it is weird) but I went along once and had a lovely time. It’s a particularly LA experience, a really healthy and body-positive one.