Do you know what it feels like to have someone, be it a friend or a complete stranger, look at your hair with a mix between shock and wonder — and then ask if they can touch it? To be fetishised and treated like an exotic creature is an uncomfortable and often demeaning situation, one that I've experienced many times throughout my life. As has comedian and writer Phoebe Robinson: The title of her new book, You Can't Touch My Hair, is inspired by the book's first essayabout the perception of Black women as it relates to their hair."With Black hair, there's a whole community of shared experience that many outside of the Black community do not understand," she writes in the book. "It's because black women know that the quality of their life and how others will treat them is riding on the presentation of their hair."In addition to her reflections on Black hair and beauty, Robinson's debutcollection covers everything from the time she was ignored by a cashier at a Michael's craft store (because of her race) to a poignant letter to her two-year-old biracial niece Olivia, all with a touch of wit and levity. I also particularly enjoyed the plethora of references to '90s pop-culture from a fellow '80s baby.I chatted with the comedian — who, on top of myriad other gigs, hosts Refinery29's Riot Woke Bae series and co-hosts the podcast 2 Dope Queens with her work-wife Jessica Williams — about her creative process, her status as a Solange stan , and the real reason it's problematic to ask someone to touch their hair.“It was a little hectic because I was doing 2 Dope Queens, working on stand-up stuff, and traveling. So literally some days I only had a few hours blocked off to write, and then there were a lot of days where I was just lying around and spending a couple of hours writing. It’s definitely the hardest thing I’ve ever done creatively... I wanted the overall tone to be similar to my blog, [ Blaria , aka Black Daria], but also elevated. I didn’t want it to feel like, Oh I could have just written this on the internet. I definitely wanted it to feel like it had more weight to it. Race, identity, and pop culture are the three things I talk about the most, so for me it felt like just putting that into a book form.”