More than biowarfare, terrorist attacks, or having their personal information tracked, Americans are freaked out about corruption of government officials — 58% expressed this fear. As everyone's Twitter feeds swirl with news of debates and shade thrown between presidential hopefuls, this might be the most practical fear to have at the moment. Points for maturity, survey participants.

Beyond the top most fears, however, the findings began to drift from the practical to the outlandish, and revealed some of our stranger preoccupations. For example, being raped or murdered by someone you know fell into the bottom 20, while reptiles, by comparison, made it into the top 20, just below nuclear attacks.

Heights and public speaking expectedly made the list, with respectively 27% and 28% of those surveyed citing them as their greatest fear. Real creative, guys. Less than 10% of Americans admitted to fearing ghosts, zombies, and clowns, which is either way too many or not enough.

On a personal note, although these findings are certainly enlightening, my search will have to continue for the community that shares my fear of hyper-intelligent apes.