The bleeding and pain some people experience when they first have penetrative sex comes from stretching or tearing the tissue. But it isn't just sex that can stretch hymenal tissue. Some people tear their hymens putting in a tampon for the first time, or masturbating with fingers or a sex toy, or playing sports like gymnastics, football, or horseback riding, according to Go Ask Alice!. Other people never feel any pain with penetrative sex, either because their hymen has already been stretched, because they never had much hymenal tissue to begin with, or because their hymen is so flexible that it just moves aside to make room for a penis, fingers, or sex toy. So what someone's hymen looks like is by no means an indication of whether or not they've had sex.