If your idea of in-depth chocolate study is buying 15 different treats from Trader Joe's , this is probably not for you. (But we applaud your choco-commitment nonetheless.) If, on the other hand, diving into “ Metagenomic Studies of the Microbiota of Fermented Cacao Beans ” is exactly what you were hoping to do with your life, you're in luck. Food & Wine reports that The University of the West of England is looking to fill a fully-funded three-year PhD program devoted to researching chocolate. But although we at R29 are undeniably experienced in the art of the chocolate taste test , we're thinking we maybe don't qualify for this job. Somehow, learning about “how the microbiota involved in the fermentation process lead to specific chocolate flavor” and “identifying farm-specific DNA markers characterizing the microbiota on the surface of fermented cacao beans” are skills that my C.V., at least, is lacking. Damn you, college core course requirements! But did you see the part about how this program is fully funded? That means zero tuition, folks — plus it comes with an annual £14,296 tax-free stipend. Compare that to the average U.S. doctoral program at a private institution, which requires the student herself to shell out about $113K over the course of study. So basically, majoring in English leads to a far less lucrative academic career than majoring in chocolate. Future college students everywhere, take note.