"I think honestly I had to create my own images, because I think it was more subconscious that I noticed that…well, I’ll just start from the beginning: I don’t fit in anywhere. I’ve never felt that I really fit, even in groups of friends. I just don’t feel like I really fit. And I think part of that has always been because I’ve always been 'the fat kid.' And fat people are, and this is never talked about, fat people are dehumanized to an extreme, like to an extreme. "I know that I need to create my own images of what I need to see, because there’s a teenage girl or person out there that follows me on Instagram and is seeing their body finally represented on the internet. I need people to see that, even throughout the truly massive amounts of hate that I get. "I feel like, yes, I’ve really had to create these images for myself because it’s been vital to my life. I probably wouldn’t be alive, honestly. I don’t think I would be alive if I didn’t take a lot of care to document my body and myself as, like, a human being and someone with nuance, not just a caricature, so that a teenage girl in, I don’t know, Idaho or something, can be looking on the internet which is both a scary and amazing place and be like, 'Oh shit, there’s someone who is owning the fact that they are considered obese, they are sexy, they are nuanced, they are funny, they are smart, they can model. I can do all of these things that people don’t expect.'""I’ve realized that, the more you don’t talk about something, you think about it a lot, the more it’s just gonna build up. I think I started talking more openly about my mental health a couple years ago when I went to this school that, for some reason, was rife with sexual pressures, more than I had ever come across. I am a rape victim multiple times over and just have a lot of sexual trauma, so I kind of lost my shit. That’s when I experienced my first psychotic episode. I was assaulted there. "I thought that I was going to do something drastic, and I realized that I wasn’t talking to anyone — at this point, I was not in therapy. I didn’t have an outlet, because…the people I was friends with, a couple of them were great, but I was not in a safe environment to be talking about any of this. So I started using the internet as a vehicle to talk about this, especially because this was during a time where if I wasn’t in therapy, I wasn’t working through any trauma. So it became this very public bearing witness to my mental illness and my trauma and my fatness, being like, 'Look at me. This is what you think is ugly, and I need you to look at this, and I need you to be just as disgusted by it as I am, and I need you to know why you’re disgusted by it.'""I hope people are uncomfortable. I do. Obviously not bad uncomfortable. But at the same time, no growth comes out of comfort. If you are comfortable, you are not growing. That is probably my main mantra. When people go onto my Instagram page, I need them to be uncomfortable. I need them to look at my page, especially because I grew up in an environment — like I said, I am upper middle class and I am white and I fully recognize that — I just need the people that I grew up with, especially, who were so horrible to me and who were all skinny and all cis and straight and whatever to, like, I just need them to see that. It is like a deep, deep need within me for people to grow and to make people uncomfortable because this is reality.