But that’s not what the defense want jurors to believe. They are painting Grace’s killer as a misunderstood lover who simply gave her what she asked for — and then panicked once he realized he had squeezed the life out of her. In doing so, they are playing up to powerful myths so deeply ingrained in society — not just in the UK but globally — that "rough sex gone wrong" has become an increasingly legitimate defense that is seeing men get away with murder . They want us to believe that her death was somehow consensual, and that it was her fault or that she was in some way asking for it. It's victim blaming in its purest and most dangerous form and media headlines are facilitating it.