If that sounds flippant, let me assure you otherwise. The entire process – from painful conversation to decree absolute – was tortuous and unpleasant. Even now, years down the line, I can only really discuss it with one eye closed. And I was lucky; I was happy to shoulder responsibility, and my husband and I remained amicable throughout. Yet the fact of the matter is that I should not have had to shoulder that responsibility – our relationship ended, as relationships do, through no great fault of our own – and apportioning blame where there is none to satisfy an antiquated legal requirement reduces a pair of adults who have made a considered decision to schoolchildren arguing over who pulled who's hair first. Indeed, Nigel Shepherd, the former chair of Resolution, a body representing family lawyers, told the Guardian : "Our current laws can often create conflict in divorce – forcing couples to blame each other when there is no real need."