Societal and historic shifts in our understanding of gender and sexuality have broadened the meaning of ‘femme’. It’s no longer the preserve of lesbian and bisexual women; it’s now a descriptor used by a range of LGBTQ+ people including trans women, non-binary people and gay men. In some ways, that is a testament to progress: a kind of lessening of the shame around femininity in queer circles. In reality, that conception of femininity as not being ‘queer enough’ persists. If you don’t explicitly present in a way that divorces you from straight, patriarchal standards, you’re not queer enough. I have friends who’ve been called out for not wanting to cut their hair short; I’ve been told that you’re not a ‘real lesbian’ if you have long nails. This hetero-patriarchal hangover is built into LGBTQ+ spaces – you see it in the Grindr profiles that read ‘no fats, no femmes’; in the lesbians in gay bars who are dismissed as ‘fag hags’; in the trans women accused of ‘aping femininity’.