Even bigger props to Tesco for creating different flavours within their cheese range, showing a real dedication to the vegans out there. And guess what? This is just as good as their normal soya cheese flavours, except it does actually taste smoked.Smoked cheese! The smokey flavour actually masks the soya aftertaste that all of these cheeses, bar perhaps the Violife, struggle with.Again, slightly crumbly and like dry wax. All too easy to do two strokes of the cheese grater only to find you’ve grated the entire block.This stuff is great melted onto stuff if you’re into melted smoked cheese, which I really am. Actively adds to the flavour of sauces, rather than being masked by them, and can't recommend it on a bowl of nice tomato soup enough.Big time. Tomato, pickle, this cheese, and you’ve got a party. Again, it’s a strong taste so if you’re not into smoked cheese then give it a miss.Really miss smoked cheese with the passion of a thousand burning suns and will do whatever it takes to get some form of hit.This comes in the sort of packaging reminiscent of medicine or a homemade bath bomb from a market. Confusing, considering it’s supposed to look like cheese and also a bit disappointing because, when you take it out the fridge, you feel like the kid who brought his packed lunch to the restaurant. Like an outsider. And you’re not, OK? You can bring your packed lunch anywhere and who cares if you can’t eat cheese? Anyway.A bit of clay someone found in a river and filled with cheese flavour.Similar to the other soy-based cheeses, but nothing too offensive.Well, it sort of melts away. When I grated it onto my pasta, it didn’t ruin the pasta but it didn’t really add anything either. The texture disappeared to nothing, and reminded me a bit of the tofu in miso soup – you want to question it for hours about what it thinks it’s adding to the party.No I felt sick and stopped eating it. Then I put pickle and a tomato on it and the weird aftertaste still dominated. I think that if you threw this cheese through an active nuclear testing site, its weird aftertaste would still dominate.Have really, really forgotten what cheese is. Or have never eaten cheese. And like pain.After the white cheddar incident, you can imagine how psyched I was to try their mozzarella. Turns out you shouldn’t judge a book by the last fake cheese you ate, because this was genuinely pleasant. No, it didn’t really resemble mozzarella, but it resembled cheese. Which is more than I can say for the white cheddar.Bland mozzarella. It soaks up any flavour around it, and the texture means that if you eat it while doing something else, then you won’t notice it’s not actual cheese.Oops, I wrote about the texture in the words allocated to taste. OK, well, it’s a bit wet like mozzarella, and a bit softer than their clay cheddar, which makes it a lot more palatable. I even chose to eat more of it on the chunky soup I was planning to eat for lunch.Again, it goes a bit tofu. It disappeared into my chunky soup like it was embarrassed to be there. I felt a bit sorry for it actually, almost as if it knew that melting was mozzarella’s one USP and that it had, therefore, failed. But no, old friend. You haven’t failed. Because when I put you on a pizza you worked. You soaked up the flavour and, while you weren’t particularly stringy, you didn’t form a weird plastic film or sprout hair or anything.Yes! I went for a dijon mustard and had a bloody lovely time. We’re considering going away to Dorset together now.Want a pizza but can’t fathom it without cheese. Also, if you want crackers and cheese.