If you feel like you and your partner tend to have explosive arguments that end in sex, and you feel safe and comfortable talking to them about it, consider bringing it up, Goldsmith says. For example, you could say, "Instead of reaching this place where we have to have make-up sex to have a connection, can we look at more ways to connect with each other in general?" According to Goldsmith, "There are ways to have the same kind of connection and intimacy without having a big conflict beforehand." For some couples, this may be a matter of having a frank conversation about what it is you like and dislike during sex. Others may benefit from seeing a couples therapist to discuss the kinds of emotions that tend to arise during sex.