Marin thinks of slow sex as an antidote to the overworked, frenzied lives so many of us live. “We’re doing multiple things at the same time all day and life feels very much rushed. And I think a lot of us approach sex in that same way. If that's how you're approaching the rest of your day, it becomes natural to get in the bedroom and be in that same rushed, hurried mode,” she explains. And if you’re trying to multi-task in bed, your chances of feeling in tune with your body are slim. Even though it’s completely natural for your mind to wander during sex, thinking about the pile of laundry in the corner and your meeting tomorrow, all while rushing to the ‘finish line,’ are going to impede your ability to orgasm. “If you're getting into a really high pressured situation in your own mind, you're just not going to be able to orgasm. It's just not going to happen,” Marin notes. So giving yourself more time to relax from a purely logistical standpoint is crucial.