The next day I saw I had been “liked” 46 times and had over a dozen messages. Most of the guys were in their 60s; many were retired. Otherwise they were a diverse group in terms of race, ethnicity, career, and desires. A 50-ish “manager” told me he was “a one woman man.” A 70-ish former construction worker wanted a woman with a motorcycle. Props, dude. Paul, an “HVAC” guy, implied he had been a legend in the disco era. I immediately deleted a self-described male chauvinist, because WHY? There was a truck driver looking for someone religious, a life coach looking for fun, and a mechanic looking for “anything.” An extremely buff therapist asked me how I felt about dating outside my race. I told him and an oil platform operator that I sought conversation, and I asked them about their Lumen experiences. They and other men I eventually asked admitted it could be rough; they felt the odds were against them (men in the aggregate do in fact tend to get less action on dating apps than women do). As a dating app newbie, what really struck me was how vulnerable these men were making themselves and how badly they seemed to want connection. You’re beautiful, and I think you’d like me if you gave me a chance, was a common message. I didn’t feel validated... I felt sad, and a little guilty.