The easiest way to avoid these feelings of hopelessness is to keep yourself from fantasising — which can be, admittedly, very hard to do. But Sussman has a way for you to keep your emotions in check. "What I tell my clients to do when they start on the apps is to think of them like dating school," she says. "You're on them to gain some experience in dating, so you're probably not going to meet the 'right' person right away," she says. And while there are many happily coupled folks out there who'll regale you with the tale of how they were each other's first and only match, Sussman says to remember they are the exception — not the rule.