So, because I’d never really seen my parents tidy up, I wasn’t equipped with the skills to do it for them or myself. By god I’d try. I’d get the Hoover out and start putting papers in piles, only to be told to leave things alone. One of the most notable features of a hoarding disorder is the aspect of control; being a hoarder and being a bit messy are two very different things. I am a bit messy and think I probably would have been, however I was raised. But hoarding is a control issue, so cleaning up can be incredibly stressful for someone with the condition. Hence, most people who have tried to clean my mother’s house have been met with short shrift or they’ve sensed the anguish their words cause and backed away.