Victory

And just when all hope is lost… you’re at the front of the line. A very friendly person in a very loud Hawaiian-print shirt waves you to a register with another very friendly person dressed for a luau, who asks you what you’re planning on doing with the five cheeses you’ve grabbed: “Having a party?!” You barely manage to stammer, “Uh… sure," partially because you’re re-acclimating yourself to human interaction again. But mostly it’s because that’s easier than explaining your plans to watch The Bachelorette alone with a wheel of Gouda and then have Mahon for dessert.

And then...you’re done. He hands you a receipt, your ticket to freedom. Before blinking at the blinding light of the outdoors (Seriously, how is it still light outside? You’ve been in there forever.) you look down and...

Wait, the total is how much?! That’s nothing! Really, all those groceries for just $30? Jeez, with all that money you saved maybe you can finally start saving for a vacation. This is the best, you think.

You can’t wait to come back next week.