The second way I no longer know how to date is: honestly, what even are dates now? What do they look like? Where do they happen? How do you plan them? Do you catch them like Pokemon? Dating is not what it once was, I have been slapped with a wet mackerel across the face containing that knowledge, I can assure you. Every time a man suggests a sexual encounter with with me via an app and I fire back that he has the manners of the fruit flies in my kitchen I’m always reassured of my own ignorance with one sentence: “You know what Tinder is, right?” Pardon me, Sir, how silly of me. Shall I send nudes for prior approval? Should we have sex and then go for two drinks? Or is actual spoken communication saved for date two? Help me out here.