"When I am alone, my orgasms are uncomplicated, mind-blowing and guaranteed. When other people are involved they can be rare and overlooked. During sex, I think about it constantly; if it will happen, if the other person will care if it happens. Thinking about it like that sadly only makes climaxing even less likely, because my thoughts aren’t focused on any stimulation, just the anxious inner gabble.I sometimes feel that sex is so performative or linked to things I’ve seen in film that the sensations are difficult for me to get lost in. Which is why when I’m alone my orgasm is empowering and all for me. I care about me and I will make sure I come.A guy I was sleeping with once said to me (as I moved into a position which felt amazing for me): "If people could see what we looked like right now, they’d think we’d never had sex before."It’s frustrating that we are fed such an unrealistic, performative and glossy version of female masturbation and pleasure. When the reality is mundane and awkward and can look ridiculous. But it’s not about how it looks, it’s about how amazing it feels. Shuffling robotically against an old soft toy as a teenager, or humping a veiny purple piece of silicone is hardly good porno material.I feel extremely lucky to have so many wonderful, sex positive women in my life, and because of that I feel less alone in experiencing frustration around orgasms and female pleasure.So I took this of my best friend. She and I talk so openly and candidly about sex and it felt really appropriate to photograph her in an empowering, typically male posture, looking frankly and unapologetically at the camera."