Being diagnosed with breast cancer is a strange experience. One second, you feel fine — great, even — and then you find a lump. The lump doesn’t hurt. It doesn’t make you feel bad. They stick a needle in you, and you wait a week for the results. Then you find out it’s cancer. You don’t live under a rock, so you know that this thing inside of you can kill you. You know what’s coming next. Your only hope for survival is going to be these treatments — surgery, chemotherapy — that are going to save your life but make you feel worse than you’ve ever felt before. Hearing you have cancer is one of the scariest things, but maybe not for the reasons you think.I read about an extensive study of what passes through women's minds when they receive the news that they have breast cancer. Their number-one fear is hair loss. Fear of dying comes in second.When I was diagnosed at the age of 29 , back in September of 2012, the world of blogging was like the wild, wild West. I had a little baby fashion blog . I used that blog to tell everyone I had cancer and, in short order, my fashion blog became a cancer blog.I wrote about the moment I was told it was CANCER and the fact that my first thought was Oh, shit, please no, I don’t want to lose my hair. I pretended I was thinking about survival while secretly crying myself to sleep every night about my hair.I Googled the crap out of breast cancer, but also hair loss from chemo. Was there anything I could do? Was there any way to save my hair? Maybe I was just distracting myself with something that was manageable, because thinking about your own mortality is not. But it didn’t feel that way. All I sincerely cared about was my hair.