And men shouldn't want obligatory sex anyway, because sex that someone has out of a sense of duty isn't sexy. "If a client walked into my office and said, 'Oh my gosh, I feel like I have to give my husband sex for Father's Day.' I would ask when did sex become a chore ?" says Holly Richmond, PhD, a somatic psychologist and certified sex therapist (CST). When you first started dating your partner, or were first married to them, there's a good chance that sex was something you both wanted to do . "You wanted it, you craved it. There was a libido and arousal ," Dr. Richmond says. If you've lost those feelings so much that sex (on any day) feels like something you just have to get through, she suggests remembering that romance and sex shouldn't be a duty.