Friday

Saturday

Sunday

Dear future husband, I’m sorry I cry even after you’ve sent me more than 17 kissy-face emojis in a 24-hour period. I have no excuse, except that I have never before been engaged to a kind-hearted, old-school gentleman who knows how to communicate. You really seem to like me. It’s all very confusing. Plus, in my defense, you’re so hot it’s completely freaking me out. I’m sorry that I am not a super-flexible, relentlessly optimistic yoga instructor like your ex-wife or a blonde camping enthusiast like your ex-girlfriend. I’m sorry I post things on Facebook that your mother hates.I’m also sorry I cry when I’m sad, happy, and when I can’t even tell you why — like the time you found me bawling beside a half-empty bottle of merlot while sitting on your kitchen floor in front of the stove and the soggy risotto. I hope you’ll take it as a good sign that I cry this much around you. It means my heart survived the apocalypse of online dating, which is pretty miraculous, come to think of it. I also hope that you’ll take me up on my offer to do "that thing," unless you don’t want to do "that thing," in which case, I apologize for bringing it up — because ew! Who would even?! Sorry!Dear hair, I'm sorry for what you might have been had I not permed you to a crispy, premature death in the '80s. And while I'm at it: Dear vagina, I'm sorry I gave birth without a C-section. Twice.I just started it off by taking the Lord’s name in vain. So sorry, God. I'm also sorry that I am totally not living up to my potential — I didn’t get everything done this week that needed to get done, not even close. But, uh, you probably already noticed that from your “I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed” vantage spot, peering down on this gnarly human race you hath wrought. I'm so sorry — for us all.Watch Good Behavior every Tuesday at 9/8c on TNT. See the trailer below.