If you are in a secret relationship, and you aren't happy with how it's playing out, it's worth it to have a conversation about it, Brateman says. "First and foremost, I'd express what you want," she says. You might say, "I'm not interested in going forward in a relationship where people don't know about it — that's not how I see a true partnership," she suggests. But you should also give your partner a chance to speak their truth, so you might add, "If you need time for some specific reason, then I would want to know what that's about." Also, figure out what would make you happy, like, do you need to be Facebook official or do you just want to be able to go to parties together?