I was tired of feeling left out, and decided that I was going to just be over it all. But, as I attempted to extricate myself from feeling marginalized by fashion at large, a funny thing started happening. Because I wasn’t competing in the size Olympics that my skinnier friends were in, I actually started to feel liberated to wear what I liked, even if it wasn’t “flattering.” I first found my groove in the form of riding pants from Ralph Lauren in every color of the rainbow. They were preppy and stretchy and came in a size 14. I had them in eight colors. My pants were a conversation piece, and I felt a bit like I had found a loophole. Tiny friends would say that they would never rock yellow pants that tight, and I found the seed of confidence in my boldness. At my size, what did I have to lose? I might as well wear what I liked. Skinny friends would wonder if a dress looked too much like a muumuu, but I didn’t have those fears. Because I wasn’t invited to the skinny girls' style club, I had to create my own. My preference for primary colors and bold prints has never been ideal for someone trying to appear smaller. The more I was ignored by the fashion industry, the more I refused to be invisible. Subconsciously, I was determined to take up visual space. Stella McCartney leopard leggings? No problem. Tented Pucci dress? Sure! These are items that thinner women might stand in front of the mirror dissecting, but because no one was counting on me to look thin, I could wear what I liked.When I appeared on Man Repeller last spring in a story about dressing for my body type, I realized that other women had my same size and frame, shared my shopping struggles, had to deal with thigh chafe, and had an equal aversion to cap sleeves! Not only was I not alone, but I realized something that I had forgotten since starting my journey in the fashion industry: My size is the average size in the United States. My day-to-day life may have been serving up women in sizes 2, 4, or 6, but all I had to do was look up and realize that's not the norm. The feeling of realizing I wasn’t alone inspired me to tap into my latent confidence. Boob sweat? Let’s talk about it! Chub rub? I can help! It was that feeling of not hiding anymore and really putting it out there had helped me accept myself 100% of the time. Of course I have struggles, everyone does, but that is the point. The journey of self love does not end with your jeans size, and I’ve made it a point to call out when things are not fair.Tall was the word I used to describe myself growing up. Now I don’t shy away from size talk or body talk. I love to help women find their own brand of confidence. We put too much value in our physical appearance, anyway. The word I would use to describe myself now would simply be: boss.