We live in a country that criticizes men like Colin Kaepernick for kneeling during the national anthem, but doesn't bat an eyelash when there's an obvious epidemic of systemic violence. And that makes me feel hopeless.It always ends in the same place: hopelessness. Eventually, I find myself in tears, alone in my bedroom, unable to vocalize just what I'm feeling to anyone. Unable to say it, in part, because saying it all out loud just makes it more real, more painful.It's easier to pretend it's not happening. Easier to skip posting something about it on Facebook this time around. Easier to talk about Brangelina or whatever celebrity news is happening that day. Why? Because it buries the pain.But pain and hopelessness are not good excuses for inaction when people are dying.So, let me ask this of my friends, family, and colleagues: Please, don't ignore Terence Crutcher's death. Or Keith Lamont Scott's. Or the next. Or the next. Make every single human life count.It hurts so badly it makes you yearn for numbness — trust me, I know. I yearn for it constantly, hoping that by going through day-to-day motions it becomes less real. But that's not an option when people are dying. Not when we have so much progress to push for. Not when we're still longing for justice.So instead, I'm asking you to suffer. Get angry. Sob. Yell. Whatever it is you need to do. Share that article, tweet about the facts, have that uncomfortable conversation with a friend or relative.My father always says that doing the right thing is hard, if you let it be. The right thing is to protest. The right thing is to speak out. The right thing is to force everyone around you to say his — or her — name. The right thing to do is to go through it every single time — through every single stage — even though it hurts.Terence Crutcher and Keith Lamont Scott became hashtags this week. Use them.Ally Hickson is an associate editor at Refinery29. The views expressed here are her own.