I’m also sorry I cry when I’m sad, happy, and when I can’t even tell you why — like the time you found me bawling beside a half-empty bottle of merlot while sitting on your kitchen floor in front of the stove and the soggy risotto. I hope you’ll take it as a good sign that I cry this much around you. It means my heart survived the apocalypse of online dating, which is pretty miraculous, come to think of it. I also hope that you’ll take me up on my offer to do "that thing," unless you don’t want to do "that thing," in which case, I apologize for bringing it up — because ew! Who would even?! Sorry!