But when it comes to feeling comfortable while on top during sex, most of the time people are just worried about what they look like, Stubbs says. "If a partner is looking at us from the bottom, we’re thinking, They’ll see up my nostrils. Can they see my rolls?," she says. "Those are things that are manifested in our heads." In reality, your partner is most likely just thrilled to be having sex with you at all, she says. They might be excited that they have both hands free to touch you , or relieved that you're doing most of the work. "Take yourself out of the position, and look through your partner’s eyes," she says.