Ultimatums can be successful in the right situation, says Lena Aburdene Derhally , MS, LPC, a licensed psychotherapist in Washington, D.C. She says there are good and bad ultimatums, and it depends how you use them. "If an ultimatum is being used as a tool of manipulation or is done as an empty threat, it's not a good thing," she says. A bad ultimatum would be something that's used to hold control or power over another person in a hurtful, manipulative, and disrespectful way, she says. For example, if you told your partner, "If you want to be with me, I don't want you hanging out with your friends," that would be unhealthy because you're asserting power over your partner in an unfair way. Ultimatums aren't always manipulative like this, though, and they can be a healthy way to solve a conflict, Derhally says.