Three weeks after my son was born, I appeared on national television. The news anchor joked that I was like an American mom, going back to work right after giving birth. I smiled, and didn’t mention that I was sitting funny on the high-top chair because of the stitches still healing down below. Or that I’d stuffed two pads in each bra to soak up seeping milk. At the time, my newborn son was sleeping a lot during the day, and when I was invited to speak on the panel, I thought, why not? It was a great way to remain visible in my industry and hone new skills — concerns that were already weighing heavily on my mind. I also wanted to prove to myself that I had the brain bandwidth to say something coherent to an audience of adults. It turns out I did — and I enjoyed feeling like my old self. But that feeling faded fast when I was reunited with my baby who, after being strollered around by my sister, woke up screaming for my breasts. Part of me felt guilty for leaving him, even for an hour. It’s amazing how having a baby can at once make you feel invincible (I made a person, I can do anything!) and brought utterly down to earth (I made a person who needs me all the time!).