It wasn’t until I began selling sex toys for a living that I realised there was absolutely nothing out of the ordinary about my sexual timeline. I began meeting women from all walks of life who came to my shop in order to find a toy that could help them achieve their first orgasm, or wanted to ask me if what they experienced was in fact a “real orgasm.”

When it was appropriate, I would open up and share my personal story about achieving orgasm with these customers. Knowing that somebody else had also struggled to achieve orgasm before ultimately succeeding was a very encouraging sentiment for them. If I had been as brave as these women and asked for help when I needed it, my orgasm journey would have probably come sooner.

Years ago, I wasn’t as candid and confident as I am now. I was always afraid that I had something wrong with me, and I felt like admitting that I’d never achieved orgasm would make me seem less than other women who could. While I had a lot of awesome women in my life, masturbation and orgasm were never a topic that we discussed. I wish that there had been more times where a trusted adult had prompted me to learn more about human sexuality.

While masturbation and orgasm are not things that everyone pines for, not having the basic facts about our sexual bodies can be detrimental to those of us who haven't intuitively discovered it on our own. I hope that this dialogue becomes less taboo over time and we can live in a world where self-pleasure is not masked in layers of societal shame — and we can happily orgasm to our heart’s content.