Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck's dramatic split has been the subject of many a tabloid story for the past year. The announcement of their divorce , followed by the rumors of an affair between Affleck and the nanny , shattered the family. And Garner has been working in private to pick up the pieces.The actress recently sat down with Vanity Fair for the magazine's March issue, to talk about her ex, her kids, and her career. Throughout the interview, it's pretty clear Garner is still in recovery mode. She's ostensibly promoting her new movie, Miracles From Heaven (which hits theaters a week before Affleck's Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice), but the majority of the story focuses on the unraveling of her union with the person she calls "the love of my life."Here are the six revelations that surprised us the most.“When I can’t sleep — and I am not someone who typically has that problem, but I really have in the last year — and I need something to switch my brain off, it has been Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. God bless those girls."“It was a real marriage. It wasn’t for the cameras. And it was a huge priority for me to stay in it. And that did not work.""I took a silent oath with myself last summer to really stay offline. I am totally clueless about all of it. Ben says, ‘Oh, you just don’t care,’ and I say, ‘No, it’s the opposite.’ It hurts me so much, and I care so much."“I have had to have conversations about the meaning of ‘scandal.’”“When you haven’t been kissed for over eight months, it’s strange. But it’s my job. It’s nine in the morning and you think, I could really use a shot of alcohol. Then, after a take or two, after everyone has seen your boobs and love handles, you just want to take every crew member and be like, ‘Please have mercy on me!’”“When the earth shakes, you go to what you know from childhood. All of a sudden I’m sitting down at the piano. I went back to church. I sat down and wrote bad poetry all day because I was so sad. I needed a dance class; it reminded me of my fight scenes [in Alias] and how I missed that. I feel the need to be physical and I feel the need to punch someone.""Sure, I lost the dream of dancing with my husband at my daughter’s wedding."“You know what we would say in my hometown about that? ‘Bless his heart.’ A phoenix rising from the ashes. Am I the ashes in this scenario?... I take umbrage. I refuse to be the ashes.”