And the truth is, this story is far from over. Prenatal and postnatal depression often go hand in hand, and I still, more than two years after the birth of my child, struggle on and off with postpartum depression and anxiety. That’s mainly in the form of exaggerated projections of horrible, violent things happening to my daughter, and me not being able to protect her. My earliest violent thought was, in fact, the day after she was born. I nursed her in the hospital room and stared at the wall and all of a sudden had a jarring thought and fleeting image of what would happen to her if she were thrown against the wall, which I quickly pushed out of my mind. Although I was disturbed, I was also rational enough to know that it was just a thought, and that it was relatively normal to be thinking and feeling something like that so soon after delivery.Two years later, these thoughts still occur at the end of particularly long, exhausting days. I deal with it with the same self-awareness that I’m grateful to have developed over the years in my general struggle with anxiety, outside of motherhood. I can acknowledge that the thoughts are just that — thoughts, triggered by my anxiety. I know that they are not real, and I know that they will pass and that I will not act on them. (Again, I realize this isn’t a realistic solution for every woman, and that is why medication is definitely a viable option before, during, and after pregnancy.)Although I’ve been doing a lot of work to dispel the shame and stigma associated with mental illness and the use of medication during pregnancy, for now, I’ve chosen to stay off medication, as a challenge to myself, and as a way to not allow anxiety to take precedence in my life. It is sometimes a struggle to find alternative solutions, or to keep going on days when I want to give up and pop a Klonopin. My anxiety, at times in the past, has been debilitating, and if that were to occur again at some point in the future, then I know I’d need to get back on my medication. But for now, as long as I can keep my head above water, I’ll keep trying without, and also continue to support women who make either decision. Mine is just one path, but there are many others.I remember thinking that having a baby was hard, and it is. Nursing, pumping, eating, sleeping, round the clock vigilance and caretaking. It was utterly exhausting. And that hasn’t ended, even now, with a toddler. In fact, sometimes I feel worse, two years in. So,. Don’t forget about them and assume they’re “over it” because their children aren’t babies anymore. Support legislation like the Bringing Postpartum Depression Out of the Shadows Act of 2015 [H.R. 3235] so there can be a clear, standardized set of procedures for providing information and assistance to women in need.And remember, it’s okay to not be okay. If you’re struggling, please reach out to a family member, friend or doctor for support. You’re not alone. The path isn’t clear or easy, but there is help out there.Moms & Meds: Navigating Pregnancy and Psychiatric Medication is currently available to rent or purchase on VHX , and for educational use via Janson Media and Alexander Street Press.For continuing updates on the film and the issues it addresses, stay connected via Facebook Twitter , or the film's newsletter