But I still kept things fairly safe. When my coworkers started dyeing their hair bright shades — like pink and blue — I'd look on with awe and envy. I could never do that, I'd think. I'm on all these dating apps. Every time I sat down in my colorist's chair (an amazing woman named Lucille Javier from Sally Hershberger Downtown who once saved me from a tragic ombré situation and has been my go-to girl ever since), she would beg me to let her go a little crazy."Creative color would look incredible on you," she'd coo, showing me photos of the lavender-haired cool girls on her Instagram. But even though I was so tempted, I never went for it. A year ago, I let her dye the ends of my hair a pretty rose-gold , but I felt uncomfortable the entire few weeks I had it. Again, what guy would want to go out with a girl with rose-gold hair?Nine months later, I'm in a much better place emotionally and have unpacked most of the baggage of my dating life. I'm still single, but I'm not scared of it anymore. I don't wear it like a scarlet letter. Instead, I see it as a huge opportunity for growth — and a ton of fun. And after discussing it with my therapist, I decided I was ready to stop seeing her.Not so coincidentally, a few weeks after my last therapy appointment, I started obsessing over the idea of platinum hair. I blame Zosia Mamet's Shoshanna on this past season of Girls . Those platinum strands with dark roots and a ghostly wash of pink became lodged in my brain, and I haven't been able to shake it. I look in the mirror and imagine myself with blond strands. I've googled images of ladies with blond hair, dark brows , and a half-inch of root growth. This is what I want to do. I feel it in my gut.So I texted Lucille, "I've been tossing around the idea of going blond..." I couldn't have gotten a more enthusiastic response. She was stoked, but wanted us to sit down face-to-face and talk about it first. Her question? Why, suddenly, I wanted to make such a change. "I don't know," I said. "It's just something I feel like I should do right now."And that was the truth at that moment, but after thinking about it for a few days, I finally have a better answer. I've grown confident enough in myself to realize that I don't give a fuck whether a guy would date me based on my hair color. If I want to go platinum, I'm going to go platinum. I shouldn't base my look on my relationship status. The type of guy I hope to end up with won't care if I have magenta strands or a shaved head when we meet. He'll be interested in me because I'm smart, I'm talented, and I'm confident enough to wear my hair however I choose.My appointment is set for May 18, and I couldn't be more jazzed. It will be a thrilling experience to finally take my look into my own hands. Of course, I'm curious to see how being platinum will affect my dating life, but the fear is not there anymore. It's been replaced with the knowledge that no matter what I look like, I am worthy of all kinds of love — self-love, especially.