The ease with which an emotional affair can happen unconsciously is a difficult reality to face when, at either end of the spectrum, you’ve got the clear upset of adultery and the warm glow of a harmonious partnership, each of which seems so much more straightforward. Ammanda assures me that just because someone gets involved with someone else, does not necessarily mean there was something wrong with the primary relationship. "But coming back from it, you have got to do some work in understanding what was it all about. It does entail quite a bit of hard work actually. And it's very difficult to do that. In a way, [the person having the emotional affair] has got to be allowed the space to grieve for what they will feel they’re losing because he's no longer in contact [the external emotional support]. And [the other person] has to be allowed and given space to be very angry, to grieve for the betrayal and loss of what they thought they had."