"To be ambitious in your work is one thing, but striving to date and find somebody good for you is a problem in our society," says Andrea Bonior , PhD, a psychologist and author. "We glorify romance to some extent, but we also have this idea that you've got to be true to yourself and be fiercely independent," she says. "You shouldn't have to depend on anyone else." The assumption, Dr. Bonior says, is that by searching for love, you're attempting to fill a hole in yourself, which of course isn't always the case. I just want a partner to cuddle with on a Sunday morning — not someone to fill a deep, emotional void or replace some part of me that's missing.