Today, my mom teaches me Cantonese over the phone. She always blamed herself for the fact that I lost it. “English was just so much easier,” she says, but it’s true, and that’s okay. We should recognize that when people move into a new environment, they’re going to change, argues linguist Amelia Tseng in an NPR interview . The key, she adds, is to preserve connections to our culture as we come up with new ways of being, which I find creative and beautiful. When I look at that photo of my great-grandmother and think about how I fit in the picture, the words “bad American” echo in Cantonese in my head, and I see myself as my family friend saw me that day. I start to feel like an Asian imposter. But then I remember: My grandmother didn’t think of me that way, and I don’t think my great-grandmother would have, either. The last time I saw my grandma, I squeezed her and said I love you. She bashfully brushed it off and laughed, mumbling something in Cantonese. It was a very Chinese reaction to an American display of affection.