If being left out of stories bothers you, though, bring it up. But don't be accusatory. Instead of attacking your partner and saying something like, "It feels like I don't matter to you," or "Are you leading a double life?" focus the questions on your feelings. "Say, 'Hey, listen, when you were talking about our hiking trip, I noticed that you didn't mention me,'" Fitzpatrick says. "'And I felt like I wasn't important, because I remembered that as such a special time for us. What was that about?" As long as your partner doesn't get defensive, the talk should clear up your feelings and help you and your partner make the "me to we" transition.