Zaya's journey since she was clear about her gender expression has made me unpack everything I thought I knew about gender and identity, which turns out, was very little. It made me unpack all of the things that I had just accepted, without question, that are actually wildly harmful for the development of girls and the self-esteem of children, period. We're still making a ton of mistakes. We are definitely not the poster parents because we're still learning. We are perfectly willing to be held publicly accountable for our shortcomings. We’re trying to not make those same mistakes with Kaavia. It started with how we designed her nursery. Now it’s the clothes that we buy her, and the things that we say. Like when somebody said to her before the quarantine, "Be nice Kaav." I said, "Fuck that, Kaav. Take up as much space as you want." She wasn’t hurting anyone. In that scenario, they were telling her to be nice to make it an easier time for them.