“I always do this,” she says. “I ruin relationships with nice guys and John Mayer just so I can write songs about heartbreak and moving on.”

The twist is that Swift's attempts to make things right and sing happy songs are thwarted by her fans, who prefer her in heartbreaker mode. What say you, Swifties?

Okay, we may have snickered at the John Mayer reference, but was it really necessary to drag Swift so hard? Doesn't it all feel a little stale? How many "character assassinations" do we need this year?

Swift has yet to respond, but her reaction probably goes a little something this: "I would very much like to be excluded from this animated narrative, one that I have never asked to be a part of."