This is not to say that you should remain silent if you truly think someone you know is being abused. But there are right and wrong ways to handle that kind of situation, and assuming that it's easy for someone to leave an abusive partner if they aren't physically held captive (like many #FreeMelania posters seem to be assuming) is often the first thing people get wrong. "When you think about the possibility of a loved one being in a domestic abuse situation, it's natural to think, 'Just leave him!'" Pacheco says. Telling your loved one to simply leave may feel like the quickest way to help, but giving point-blank instructions to a domestic abuse survivor can be disempowering. "A survivor gets to determine and assess when it's safe for them to take action with an abuser, and when we tell them when to leave, we don't understand the checklist they have to go through," Glenn says. "If leaving was that simple, it'd be a healthier world." In domestic abuse scenarios, people can be afraid to leave the relationship because of deep internal struggles, logistical complications with children, religious obligations, and financial incentives. Love is another big reason, and some people believe if they wait it out, their partner will change, Glenn says. The best thing you can do for someone who you believe is stuck in an abusive relationship is offer support. Let the person know that you're there to talk, remind them that nothing they say will make you stop supporting them, and also give them a domestic abuse hotline number. "Many survivors respond to that," Glenn says. "It may take a month, week, or year, but they're more likely to react when they know someone is there for them." Domestic abuse survivors may feel stigmatised or pressured to be silent, because they're afraid people won't understand or believe them. And when the internet revels in #FreeMelania jokes, that creates an environment in which people in abusive situations may not feel safe coming out and getting help. Not to mention, if you truly believe that Melania is being abused, joking about her situation and thinking, "Well, she got herself into this marriage," only perpetuates victim-blaming. "If you think she chose [to be in an abusive situation], you're showing a lack of empathy and understanding of domestic violence," Glenn says (though again, we simply can't know if she is or isn't in an abusive relationship, and it's reckless to claim she is without evidence). As for the memes? Just don't. "Whether it's Melania or someone else, when we make domestic abuse a laughing matter or minimise what someone might be going through, it doesn't help victims and survivors, it makes them marginalised," Glenn says. Take it from a wise former First Lady : "When they go low, we go high."If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, please call the National Domestic Violence Helpline on 0808 2000 247.