I’m also angry that I don’t have an eloquent, simple way to talk about all of this. It’s like a spiderweb of trauma. I want to talk about why we are horrified by Kevin Spacey’s abuse of white teenage boys but not R Kelly’s abuse of black teenage girls. Or why we suddenly care about sexual abuse by celebrities , but not domestic abuse. The cognitive dissonance of being told we must report abuse and time after time seeing no one care about or believe it. I want to talk about the non-white women and non-binary people whose stories still aren't being heard. I want to talk about the constant gaslighting of going onstage and killing in front of an audience, then walking off and hearing or reading another discussion of whether or not we are even capable of being funny at all — as though that has ever been a legitimate question. When men don’t find a female comic funny they often forget that comedy is subjective, that they might just not get the jokes. There are a number of older male comedy “greats” that I’ve never found funny, because the world they write about is not the one I live in.