But when you end a relationship with a text (or 20) you avoid all of that messiness. When it happened to me, I was on my sofa in my PJs watching Bake Off – yes, it was hella cosy – and I was immediately thankful that I wasn’t in a room full of hawk-eyed strangers (or even worse, in his bed – and I've been there before and it's not ideal). When I burst into tears, I didn’t have to worry about people looking at me, or the fact that his last memory of me would be my red, blotchy cry-face. I also didn’t have to waste money on an emergency Uber home (because crying on public transport is the absolute worst), and best of all, I didn’t have to look at his face as he attempted to look sad or remorseful, while stubbornly avoiding eye contact with me and praying I wouldn’t make a scene.

But the ultimate reason why I was so happy to be dumped by text was that it gave me the opportunity to say absolutely everything I wanted and needed to say. And believe me, there was A LOT on my mind. You see the problem with being dumped in person is that it’s really REALLY hard to keep your shit together. Even if you kinda know it’s coming, and it’s not just a kamikaze attack, the awkwardness of the situation is likely to leave you tongue-tied. But when it unfolds over text message you have the time and space to perfectly compose your thoughts, and are able to deliver them without interruption. And, in my case, it really did give me the most complete sense of closure.

And ending a relationship by text isn’t just great in the moment, it has pro points in the aftermath too. You see, having the dissolution of your relationship in writing is great for two reasons: firstly, it means you can relay the break-up back to your friends with 100% accuracy (because when you only have your memory to rely on, things get lost and jumbled and faded over time). And secondly, whenever you have one of those late-night pangs of nostalgia, you can read back through their messages and remind yourself why you’re better off without them and can absolutely, under no circumstances, ever contact them again. Bonus or what?

Look, the truth is, no one wants to be dumped – unless you’re one of those people who hates doing the dumping so much you just make life unbearable for your partner until they eventually step up to the plate – but as it goes, I believe you can do a lot worse that being kicked to the curb with a SMS. In fact, if any future boyfriends are reading please let it be known that I’d take the practicality of a text dumping over the (supposed) dignity of an IRL one any day. Thanks.