Looking back, what advice would you give 21-year-old self?

“That it doesn’t matter so much what everyone else thinks. Whether I was being kind of naughty and tough or people-pleasing, I was always reacting so much to the people around me. None of it was about, ‘I’m going to give myself what I actually need.’ It’s only started for me in the last year to think when I wake up, ‘What do I want out of this day?’ or, ‘What would feel good to me?’ That isn’t selfish; it makes you a better friend, partner, coworker — it makes you better at everything to check in with yourself in a real way.”

Has this affected your work, too? People have such strong opinions about you. Do you think you rile some people up simply because you’re a young, outspoken woman?

“I used to spend a lot more time than I do now trying to understand why people didn’t like me. I remember just sitting around in my early 20s and being like, ‘Why is that girl always mean to me at a party?’ And then I just realized that it doesn’t matter. Unless she wants to come up and say, ‘Hey, you hurt my feelings. Can we talk about it?’ it’s not my fucking job to decode what’s happening for her internally.

“If I get constructive criticism, I try to internalize that. But randomized hostility from segments of the population who don’t think you deserve the things you have, all you can do is just keep trying to prove that you do. I do think that when you’re young and female and you have a certain kind of success, there are a harsher — I’m not going to say that is the reason for criticism — but there is a harsher set of standards placed on you than might exist for your male counterpart. I think the reasons people dislike me might not be that I’m a girl and I have a lot to say, but it sure doesn’t help. [Laughs]”