Most of the time, people think about their sex numbers in a very shame-based way , Marin says. And that's not beneficial. But what if you were looking at the "data" objectively? Keeping track of your sexual experiences could actually tell you a lot about the kinds of sex you want to have , and what kinds of people you want to be having them with. "That could be really interesting, to take a look at which decisions make you feel really good and healthy and which decisions didn't end up feeling like they serve you," Marin says. Much more valuable than the sheer number of people you've slept with, are conversations about the kinds of safer sex practices both you and a new partner use, whether or not you're into monogamy what your kinks are , and what your sexual boundaries are, Francis says. "And if you're talking about someone's sex number but not entering a sexual relationship with that person, then quite likely it isn't any of your business," she says.