This has opened a floodgate of pieces about the failings of so-called male allies, and their role in combatting assault and harassment. And yet it’s hard to ignore the fact that until this point, there's been a disconnect between when men feel they should intervene, and when they shouldn’t. While we can throw around big terms like "toxic masculinity" and "rape culture," the fact is, to encourage men to do the right thing, we have to first understand their mindset and the gaps in their reasoning. I talked to roughly a dozen men about situations where they stood up in instances of sexual harassment and assault — and situations where they didn’t. What quickly became apparent is that men are ready to act when there is “clear and present danger.” But when it comes to helping out in the context of school or the office? It’s way more complicated than that.