So two weeks after posting the swabs off to Orig3n, what did I learn about myself? In my first report, "Fuel", which analyses how your body responds to food and nutrients and is split into four key sections such as food sensitivity and food breakdown, I'm relieved to discover that my lactose tolerance levels are 'normal', as is my alcohol tolerance. I have a 'normal' aversion to coriander, which is a pretty weird thing to find out about, right? I find out I'm 'gifted' at caffeine metabolism – with one of my genes metabolising caffeine four times faster than slow metabolisers, which would be a massive feat if I actually drank the stuff. It feels like a bit of a waste. Why can't I have speed of light metabolism when it comes to loaves of bread? Or Dairy Milk bars?