According to my focus group, the main MIL crimes are demanding to see you all the time – especially on weekends when you just want to spend time with your partner and not get properly dressed – and bringing round mountains of baby stuff, either covered in questionable stains from decades ago or new but not to your taste. Then there’s the charming habit of totally ignoring you or picking up the baby without asking. I remember Julie telling me that one of her neighbours (who I’d never met) had got a present for the baby so she had promised her a cuddle with him next time we came round. "You can’t pimp out my baby like taking turns on the school hamster!" I spluttered, genuinely horrified. And don't forget the comments, ranging from helpful unsolicited suggestions for how to get the baby to take the breast (or why they are or aren’t having a bottle, or dummy, etc.) to what they did back in the day to get them to sleep and other handy hints, none of which you want to hear. You have to bear in mind they’re trying to help and are desperate to pass on their wisdom, but no one likes a lecture and anyway, baby-care advice has changed over the years.