I realize this may not feel like a cut and dry case of mistreatment to you. On paper, it doesn't look like the model of abuse we're used to seeing. And even in the most overtly abusive relationships, it can be hard to see the problem when you're on the inside. So as an outsider, I'm telling you:Now, I'm being quite conservative because I don't have much data to go on, but for all I know, your relationship could be overtly abusive. Verbal and emotional abuse is very real and very damaging, and if that rings even the faintest bell for you, please know that there is immediate help available to you with resources like the National Domestic Violence Hotline . I'd also suggest confiding in a friend you trust to get their take on the situation if you're at all uncertain. But even if there is no abuse going on in this relationship, that doesn't make it okay. It needs to end.When you're in a hostile situation, you're on alert all the time. You say you're being constantly snapped at, you feel you can do nothing right. This behavior has made you feel both defensive and defenseless, and whether or not that was his intention, it's just not a healthy dynamic for any relationship. Something here has to change. Immediately. It's utterly unfair for you to be the one to instigate that change, but that injustice is simply not as important as you being secure and comfortable in your home.Write down what you'd like to say and how you'd like to say it. This is always incredibly helpful in tough conversations, but in emotionally charged situations, I think it's mandatory. The script may change a bit in the moment, but it's important for you to get clear on what you need to say. Find a time very soon (I'm talking days, not weeks, and absolutely not months) and say it. Maybe it's a plan-ahead scenario, where you ask him to come talk on the couch, or maybe you'll need to bring it up the next time he snaps at you. Yes, an ideal situation is, well, ideal. But if you sit around waiting for the perfect mood and moment, then you may be waiting for a while. Time is a factor here, because relationships are full of slippery slopes and this is one you two must not slip down any further.No one deserves to live with mistreatment of any kind. No one deserves to be in a relationship with a partner who's constantly annoyed with them or treats them with consistent disrespect. You do not deserve this; you deserve someone who will support you, look out for you, love you, be kind to you, and stick up for you. Right now, you need to be that someone for yourself. You're already doing it by reaching out to a stranger with an advice column. Asking for help is a vital start and you should keep doing it (whether it's that trusted friend, a professional resource , or both, as the case may be). Remember that no matter how vulnerable you feel, you are also your own knight in shining armor. You are the good guy. And that's what you deserve.Welcome to: a new column to help you handle problems of all kinds. Got a relationship query? Workplace drama? Is your roommate a narcotics kingpin? With zero professional experience and a complete lack of credentials, I will take on your issues with compassion and humor. Got a question?