The easiest way to bust the myth of the autopilot relationship is to just be real about the ups and downs in your own. That doesn't necessarily mean sharing every detail of your therapy appointment, or calling out your S.O. on social media when they neglect to send flowers on your birthday. But it does mean being honest, even just with yourself, about some of the hurdles you two have crossed together, and the fact that other people will have faced some, too, whether they talk about it openly, or not. "The more people can be frankly authentic and honest and real, the healthier their relationships will be," Dr. Zeising says.