Ever since Moon Juice founder Amanda Chantal Bacon’s eccentric but oddly compelling food diary went viral — and people finally started taking Goop seriously — health editors, herbalists, and Instagram “Earth goddesses” everywhere have been waxing poetic about adaptogenic mushrooms Chaga, Cordyceps, and Reishi. I don’t blame you if you have no idea what any of these things are, or care about their health benefits. It might interest you to know, however, that taking a certain amount of them can get you high.A few weeks ago, as I was searching for something more interesting to do with these 'shrooms than throw them onto my morning oatmeal and say Hail Mary, I stumbled onto a deep-web drug forum. I read that the Reishi mushroom, specifically, was depicted in Taoist scrolls as a bridge between heaven and Earth, and believed to bring the dead back to life. It was described as “a supreme protector” and “the mushroom of spiritual potency,” and the ancient folk supposedly used Reishi to become capable of “spiritual transcendence.” Break me off a piece of THAT! When a few users with questionable avatars and a high chance of living in their mom’s basement confirmed that the mushroom did indeed, when drunk as a tea, chill them all the way out to Enlightenment with zero side effects, I decided it was my civic duty to bring this knowledge to all the mainstream party people.As one does when embarking on any profound drug experience, I wanted to have a guide. The problem is, there is almost no Western medical literature that thoroughly decodes Reishi’s anti-anxiety and anti-depressive effects, as opposed to its documented healing powers against, say, tumors. Steven S. Gross, PhD, biomedical researcher at Weill Cornell Medical College — and very liberal-minded man — tells me that “the enormous chemical complexity of fungi and plants makes it essentially impossible to confidently ascribe any observed psychoactivity to a single molecular constituent, site of CNS action, molecular mechanism, or signaling pathway.” A few writings confirm that Reishi is exceptionally high in triterpenes, a class of compounds that can affect the nervous system through the liver. But even Iris Benzie, Reishi specialist and chair professor of biomedical science in the department of health technology and informatics at Hong Kong Polytechnic University, admits in her Herbal Medicine: Biomolecular and Clinical Aspects that “very little is known about the enzymes and biochemical pathways involved in their biosynthesis.” (Prof. Benzie also refused to answer any of my desperate emails.)Herbalists, on the other hand, immediately praise its effectiveness.“Adaptogenic mushrooms restore your hypothalamus,” says Anima Mundi Apothecary founder Adriana Ayales. She’s referring to the region of the forebrain that controls the autonomic nervous system and some of our emotional activity. “I used to work at a [naturopathic] clinic in San Francisco where we would take in clients suffering from heavy depression, extreme mood swings, and schizophrenia. It was unbelievable to see the effect of these adaptogens on them; their mentalities would change in as little as seven days.”Reishi’s effects are gentle and, like all adaptogens, meant to be built up over time. Ayales insists that its immediate effectiveness can be influenced by a few factors, like the physical health and mentality of the consumer. As someone who regularly eats well and practices yoga, enjoys getting intoxicated (legally or illegally), and reluctantly has to take a regular dose of Klonopin, I figured I was a good candidate for success.For a regular mood-boosting and anxiety-relieving tonic — or, in my case, a pill replacement — Arielle Hayat, resident herbalist at New York City’s The Alchemist’s Kitchen , suggests 1 tablespoon of Reishi powder (which I purchased from Sun Potion ) in a cup of hot liquid, ideally with a fatty base like almond or cashew milk to aid the body in faster absorption. But for anyone looking to mimic a Xanax pilled-out-chilled-out or weed-like high right away, that dosage should be doubled. I expressed concern over the idea that I’d be quadrupling the recommended 1/2 teaspoon, but Hayat assured me that the brand’s cautious dosage was partly because the powder is so expensive, and partly because some users may have lower tolerances.I partook in my first “sesh” while sitting alone on my bed. After finishing my cup of 2 tablespoons of Reishi powder, plus almond milk (which tasted pleasantly of weak hot chocolate), it took about 25 minutes for me to feel my reflexes slowing down and my body sinking back into my pillows, similar to the feeling you’d get after taking a few hits of a joint. I couldn’t stop giggling. Shortly afterward, my brother walked into my room and, without knowing I had “used,” told me I looked “absolutely blasted.” This tremendous sense of physical and mental slo-mo lasted for approximately two-and-a-half hours, during which time an expert from Cornell’s Mycology center responded to an email I had sent saying my inquiries for an explanation were “beyond her area of expertise,” which I took as a polite, “You are ridiculous, get some hobbies.” I felt shit-faced, but wondered if I was just imagining everything.The geniuses at Harvard believe in the power of the placebo effect. “It may have an element of psychological conditioning: Once someone benefits from an intervention, the person starts to associate that intervention with a benefit,” a Health Letter from 2012 reads. “The association, and therefore the benefit, may get stronger with additional exposures to the intervention.” Considering this, I decided to have another go at it. I took a quadruple dose of the mushroom milk the following day and, once again, got stoned out of my mind within 25 minutes. My clunky winter boots felt as light as flip-flops. I could feel the delicateness of my head balancing on my neck. My ex sent me a rude text that would normally have sent me into a tailspin, and I didn’t give a shit. Bliss.