Even as I typed his name into Google, I knew I was making a terrible mistake.

The subject of my search was a particular ex-boyfriend. He’d dumped me shortly after our college graduation, and though it was a long time coming, it broke my heart. Now, several years later, I was happily married.

Still, that Friday night, I was at a low point — on my couch, in track pants, with nothing but boxed wine and stale Triscuits for company — and I wanted to feel even worse. I hated my day job and the dull cul-de-sac of a city I was living in. No one wanted to publish the novel I’d spent the last three years writing. Though my life contained a few vivid good points, like my husband and our dog, the overall picture resembled a baked potato skin more than it did my dreams.

A fraction of a second later, I was staring at an alumni website, learning that the ex-boyfriend hadn’t just been accepted into the country’s most prestigious film school, he’d graduated from it and landed a plum job at Pixar.

My screams must have echoed for miles. Here was the ultimate proof of my unworthiness. Once, this guy and I had been on equal footing. Now, he was successful, and I was, uh, not. The career rapture had come, and God had just left me on the sidewalk like a stained mattress.

What I felt wasn’t romantic jealousy. It was professional jealousy. If I’d learned he’d gotten married or had a kid, I would have been happy for him. He was smart, funny, kind, and deserving. But seeing his career going so well when mine seemed not to be going at all? I wished I’d never Googled.

Professional jealousy has existed for at least as long as human society — way back when, the hunters probably envied the gatherers, and the gatherers felt sure the cave painters had it made. But, as I discovered, the 21st century has brought new twists.