“I have all of these stats about maternal mortality, and morbidity rates filed in the back of my head. I have the narrative of other women. I have the narrative of our ancestors. I have the narrative of the relationship that black women have with the medical industry going all the way back to the antebellum South that remain in my mind and contribute to my anxiety,” Kapten said over the phone. “And I’m sure I’m not the only black woman trying to navigate this process who is familiar with this history and familiar with this fear. Then I’m doing extra work to mitigate it so I can have a delivery that feels calm and safe — in a medical setting where things feel chaotic and resources are limited, plus a history of not listening or taking black women seriously when they say something is going on. It feels really scary to enter into that kind of environment and prepare for delivery.”