I miss my feelings. Even the most excruciating ones make me feel alive, help me to connect to people, make me capable of love and joy and hope and care. So when I say we need to stop playing by their rules, I don’t just mean we should get angry. There are tremendously important conversations happening this year about the power of women and rage and I am all the way here for anger. But I mean so much more, too. If the Senate Judiciary Committee is going to issue official press releases slut-shaming a survivor based on only the say-so of her ex, then we might as well enjoy ourselves however we see fit. If they’re going to say we’re too ugly to be raped, why should we care what they consider beautiful? If it doesn’t matter how composed we remain against incredible odds, then what’s stopping us from weeping in the streets? If they’re going to pit “good girls” against “bad girls” for all of time, only to throw the good girls under the bus without a second thought, let’s stop shaming each other and focus on just loving each other with abandon.