Furthermore, while I was in my 20s, I always viewed Carrie and Big through the lens of her perspective and experience. But watching it now, I don’t think I would have wanted to date Carrie either. She is needy, unclear, manipulative, and intrusive. For example, if you were spending time with your mom (at church!), and the person you were casually dating showed up when you had explicitly told them it was your alone time with your mom, what would you think?Which brings me to Miranda: She is the only one who keeps it real for Carrie when it comes to Big. And, in fact, when all the women are sitting around the brunch table obsessing about men, Miranda is the one who gets up and tells them:“All we talk about anymore is Big or balls or small dicks. How does it happen that four smart women have nothing to talk about but boyfriends? It’s like seventh grade but with bank accounts. What about us? What we think, we feel, we know — Christ! Does it always have to be about them? Just give me a call when you’re ready to talk about something besides men.”It was rewatching that exact scene with 33-year-old eyes that made me realise my relationship to Miranda and, yes, even SATC had changed: When I was in my 20s, her freak-out felt boring and judgmental (ugh, typical Miranda). But now, I'm like, “Amen sister!”Look, I understand that love and relationships are a central pillar to practically everyone’s life — but it’s just one pillar of many. When I was younger, maybe my life was not fully developed enough to realise that — it was all about friends and, well, fucking. But that changes as time goes on and realities of adulthood creep in. Miranda is the only one who seems to recognise that. She doesn’t compromise her career for men, she doesn’t look for validation from men, and she doesn’t look at marriage as (in her own words), “Okay, I’ve got a big rock on my finger, now I can stop pretending to care about my career.” She is also impermeable to judgement, like when Magda switches out her vibrator for the Virgin Mary. She’s the only one who doesn’t serially invite drama into her life, and doesn’t play out destructive patterns repeatedly. Looking at her now, I’d say Miranda is the only one of the four main characters with whom I would want to hang out on a regular basis. She may not be perfect or the most empathic character all the time, but at least she keeps it real 24/7 I was curious to know if any of my friends have had similar Miranda awakenings in recent years. I emailed a few people and found that, indeed, everyone who watched the show with their thirtysomething eyes had experienced a total about-face. My friend Katelyn said, “You spend so much time with Carrie that of course she seems the most rounded character, the one you most sympathise with, but it’s classic Stockholm syndrome. Meanwhile, the only one who maintains any kind of grounding and actual (versus fantasy) relatability is Miranda. And maybe we see her as a badass because, in the spectacle of fantasy and conspicuous consumption and imbalance toward the heart or libido, Miranda is the rebel. She's the one who will walk out into the street looking like a dump, or get braces because it's practical.”Another friend pointed out, “For me, people said I was 'The Miranda,' and I never wanted to hear that, because she was the non-hot one and was kind of snarky. I still feel that way about her, but the bigger thing that happened when I rewatched the show not too long ago is that I thought the show sucked. I used to love it, and now I find it obnoxious and unbearably lame. I was so surprised I felt that way.”Indeed. It’s always a little sad to look around and see that your friends aren’t as fabulous as you thought they were . Carrie, Samantha, and Charlotte will always have a place in my heart — kind of like old friends I wish only the best, but with whom I've fallen out of touch. But as I continue to grow up, I want to grow into a smart, mature, confident, driven woman, who loves deeply , but also doesn’t take any shit from anyone . In other words, I’ll happily be the Miranda.