No matter what you tell your girl, she’s also looking to the example you set. Before we became parents, my boyfriend and I had lofty ambitions about how equally we’d do things but, during those early months, especially, this is easier said than done. Along came a baby who wanted to spend most of her time, night and day, breastfeeding. And biologically there was only one of us who could do that. Shared parental leave is now option - and I know couples who’ve used it - but not many. There’s still a cultural shift needed before that changes. We’d have been up for it in theory but my boyfriend had just started on a new career as a doctor so it didn’t make sense.