Madame President

It's President Schinton's first day in office. She's got 200 million new Twitter followers — and her period. The intent of this sketch is clearly to take down critics who say women are too emotional to be president. So we get scenarios in which Schinton's in an emergency meeting about Iran, only to interrupt the strategy discussion to ask for Advil. "I have cramps and my mind is like mush right now." In a meeting with a delegate from Israel, she complains that he ate the last piece of chocolate. Things only get worse. She's holding a hot compress to her uterus during an enemy attack, and when she complains about having to change her tampon, she distracts from the process and infuriates the men in the room. "Stop yelling at me!" she cries. "Why are you being so mean! You guys, I can't be president because I got my period!"