You’ve probably read at least a few think pieces about " the second shift ," aka the gender gap when it comes to who's responsible for chores and childcare — and it’s a real issue, particularly for couples made up of a man and a woman . But queer couples may also have different expectations about who does the chores, too — or simply different comfort levels with dust and grime. How long are you okay with letting dishes sit in the sink? How often do you deep-clean ? If you're planning on children in the future, this is where you have the childcare discussion, too.