As difficult as it is when you're fresh out of a partnership, spending time alone can allow you to reassess what you want and need from a partner, she says. "You have to process your grieving, so you can understand what went wrong, and do the self-care that you need," she says. For Dev, that meant going to Italy to learn how to make pasta . That's easier said than done, and not everyone can just get over a breakup so easily (and so luxuriously), particularly if it was a serious relationship. When you feel like you have a clear-headed grasp on your motivations and needs (even if they are to just make more pasta), that's usually a sign that you're ready to start dating again, she says.