Often it's silent forces – unwritten ideas and notions about women over a certain age – that render us invisible, but sadly it can also be other women, our peers. Not because women want to ignore or diminish other women but because patriarchy has responded to feminism and female emancipation by pitting woman against woman in a one in, one out system. When my book, Queer Sex, came out earlier this year, some trans women and trans femmes working in and around the media ignored it completely. Not a word. I could hear a pin drop in their silence. They made me feel unseen. Their silence told me so much about the fragility of our – my – visibility; of the visibility afforded to marginalised groups. Their silence made me incredibly sad. I wanted their sisterhood, I thought they were the ones I could count on. To ignore Queer Sex took some doing, but they weren't coming from a place of spite or attack. They were coming from a place constructed from the very real knowledge that publishers, agents, newspapers and TV shows openly express that they only have room for one trans femme writer, character, actor or celebrity; one in, one out. That's how they keep us marginal: older women, women of colour, lesbians, trans women. They ration places.