1. LA’PORSHA RENAE

La’Porsha followed a similar trajectory to Trent this week. Her ode to McComb, Mississippi, Common & John Legend’s “Glory,” was practically a coronation parade, complete with huge jewels in her braided up-do, marching band-esque drummers, and a built-to-last vocal explosion. "I feel like I just had a Baptism!” yelped judge Keith. J.Lo lunged at the chance to mention that she, too, is an inspirational artist. “We don’t cure cancer, but we heal the spirit, take you to a better place,” she explained to La’Porsha, who ran with the idea more elegantly and called for social change! “I had a bunch of officials tell me how much I brought the town together,” she reflected on her hometown hero visit. “I just wished they would come together on things like racism and, you know, us being different.” Ryan Seacrest assured her she had a platform for that now that she’s about to be crowned the winner of a dying reality show and ushered her off the stage.

“Stay With Me,” though well-sung, was a misguided blunder message-wise as mentioned above. Then for some reason (SABOTAGE?) the judges chose Adele’s “Hello” for La’Porsha’s third round. Hello! Of all the songs in the world, you had her try and belt the current hit by everyone’s favorite vocal goddess in the world right now? Not to give my girl the cold shoulder or anything, but La’Porsha didn’t come close to nailing that because no one really could. Rustled with vague intrigue that something had finally thrown the frontrunner off, the judges showered her with words made of knives. “It stretched your range a bit,” said Jennifer. “This is the cutest baby of all time!” said Harry, who’d been holding La’Porsha’s nugget and therefore incapacitated from offering much else.

Next week is the official end of the road for the sputtering 15-year production. There’s a retrospective special on Tuesday, the top three face-off on Wednesday, and America’s Last Top Idol will be announced Thursday. WHO! Will be eliminated next?