My friend A. shares my concerns: “For me it's hard, because once I got used to a vibrator, nothing was as good," she says. "When I was dating my ex-boyfriend, he would try and I would be like, ‘No, fuck it, just get the vibrator.’”“I know someone who could never orgasm with a guy, so she would always use a vibrator,” another friend interjects. “She and her partner would have sex and then after he was done, she would just pop it out and rub, like, five out. I was like, ‘You need to learn how to do it without a vibrator’ and she was like, ‘I just can’t!’”When it comes to orgasm, it’s tricky if not impossible to locate the line between “just can’t” and “just haven’t figured out how yet.” Only about 1 out of every 4 women consistently orgasms through intercourse , regardless of the duration of the sex or the size of the penis (if there is one involved) or whether the couple had a candlelit dinner first. Most women need clitoral stimulation, and using a vibrator is a tried-and-true way of introducing it. If you have only ever come with battery-powered backup, you’re still getting off, and that’s divine.But I’m suspicious that my recent toy use comes at the expense of getting to know my body better, since merely applying vibration doesn’t take much exploration or finesse.