I told the bride that I didn’t have the funds for the trip, but I’d make it up to her when she got back. So I did. I threw her a second mini-bachelorette party at my apartment, with decorations I got for under $25 off Amazon and bottles of wine I bought at Trader Joe's for under $5. I missed a weekend of sunshine and vacationing like a Kardashian, but I didn’t feel too bad about it. I was able to pay my rent that month and have a girl’s night with the bride; it was our very own version of the fling before the ring.

Even though I’m not the best with a curling iron (or even an eyelash curler), doing my own hair and makeup for weddings saves me a lot of cash. In the past, I might have spent anywhere from $150 to $250 getting glammed up for a wedding. Now, I’ll spend some time on YouTube learning how to do hairstyles, or ask a fellow bridesmaid to help me twist my locks into an appropriate wedding look. If the bride wants everyone to have a certain makeup style that I can’t pull off myself (smoky eyes, cat-eyes, highlighter on the cheeks), I’ll run over to the mall or a local makeup counter and have them do that look, which is usually free or complimentary with the purchase of an item.

And then there are the gifts. Oftentimes as a bridesmaid, you're not expected to hand over a gift. Some brides will view the money you spent on being a bridesmaid as the ultimate wedding gift. But I don’t like to show up at the bridal shower or the wedding empty-handed. So I’ll usually make a DIY gift for the bridal shower, or split something off the registry with another bridesmaid. On the day of the wedding, I’ll give as much cash to the happy couple as I can afford. But if funds are tight, and usually they are, I’ll save up over the next few months and mail the couple a gift when I know my check won’t bounce.

I don’t mind walking down the aisle for a good friend or family member. But when I do it, I do it smiling, knowing that when the wedding is over and I go home, there won’t be an email from Bank of America telling me that my savings account was overdrawn. Again.