In the quiet of the days and nights that seem to blur together too easily, I think about who I want to be when this social vice grip is loosened. I want to be someone who speaks kindly to and about herself. I want to be someone who doesn’t rely on the reassurance of others that yes, things are okay and yes, I am enough. I want to be someone who isn’t as angry, who is brave, who can trust others, but most importantly, who can trust herself. In the quiet of these days and nights, I sometimes say these things out loud, an incantation to will it to be so. I believe it will be, because I was on my way to being that person before all this. When we emerge from our homes and stillness and mindfulness again become welcome pauses, I will know that I’ve solved the equation, I’ve passed the test, and just like any thorough student, I’ll be able to show my work.