Alicia, 40

"We were living in the U.K. — sort of. I had been spending a lot of time there visiting my boyfriend, but the last time I went through immigration at the airport, they gave me 30 days to leave the country. The immigration agent said he would have deported me, but he couldn’t be bothered to do the paperwork. When I asked him how I was supposed to continue my long-distance relationship without being able to visit, he told me we should just get married. When I passed the message on to my boyfriend, I saw fear in his eyes.

"I was forced to move back to the States, with assurances that we would have a solution to this issue soon. In mime-like fashion, he would point to the ring finger. It felt like he was holding the carrot, and that really pissed me off.

"Still, he was committed in every other way. Together we made plans to spend Christmas in Boston with my family, and New Year's Eve in New York City with my friends. After a nice family Christmas, my boyfriend and my dad were packing up the car, and I saw them exchange some serious words followed by a hug. I didn’t give much mind to it.

"We threw a massive party for New Year's Eve in our sixth-floor walk-up in the West Village. It was wonderful — kind of like the perfect moment to get engaged. Towards midnight, my boyfriend and I had a private moment in the bathroom. I could see he was a little nervous. Oh my goodness, maybe he’s going to ask me, I thought. But no — he just gave me a big hug, and waded back into the crowd.

"The next morning, my dad called and said, 'Happy New Year, and congratulations! I am so happy for you! You are getting married!' I was like, 'Yeah, sure, someday I’ll get married.' I could hear him backpedal. Dad was like, 'Oh no, he didn’t ask you, dammit. He told me he was going to ask you at midnight.' Like a volcano, the lava started to rise inside me. I was furious.

"Some 10 years later, we are happily married, but it took two more excruciating months and two more failed attempts before he finally popped the question."