Why these toys are called Max and Nora, we're not sure. And why the dildo is the one to be called Nora and the male masturbator the one to be called Max are questions to which we will probably never find the answers. Anyway. Max and Nora, silly names aside, actually sense your partner's movements while they use their toy and translate them to your toy using 'bi-directional control'. Additionally, they can be controlled by an app on your phone from as far away as is necessary. Even better? Max and Nora can also be controlled by the beats of a song, so if your IRL love is unavailable then Jason Derulo's "Talk Dirty" is there. Max & Nora, £160, available at Lovense Kiiroo is similar vibes to Max and Nora: there's a male masturbator and a female one (Onyx and Pearl, respectively – again with the bad names) which connect using Bluetooth and video chat and can be controlled by an app. What Kiiroo also does, though, is create 'porna' videos which you can subscribe to when you purchase your sex toys. The porna videos are VR, interactive and, as they say, "put you in every scene". You will need VR goggles but cheapo ones off the the internet will do the trick. Onyx & Pearl and three-month porna subscription, £297.19, available at Kiiroo This one's just for women and is one of those vibrators that's shaped like a silicone claw – especially made for G-spot and clitoral stimulation. Again, it's controlled by an app so whether you're after a solo adventure which you can control with music or you'd like your partner to create their own playlist of "vibrate", "pulse" and "cha-cha-cha" from the other side of the country, is up to you. We-Vibe Sync, £179, available at Ann Summers For if you're, um, partial to getting yourself off in public places... The Vibease is another one just for women. It fits inside you and is completely silent, meaning that your partner – and the unlimited-range remote control – can get you going when you're, say, in a board meeting. Which is a truly terrible idea. If you want to use it at work, maybe save it until you're in the loos. Vibease also has a nifty feature allowing it to sync with audiobooks (they've got hundreds of erotic fiction titles to choose from), so when the audiobook says, "I'm touching you softly", the Vibease does its thing. Vibease, £96.06, available at Vibease This one's for couples who want to ease themselves in before committing to something wildly sexual. Rather than mutual play, Pillow Talk will transmit the heartbeat of your partner from across the world to your pillow. Maybe that's enough to get you going, maybe it's an entry-level option before you build up to bigger stuff. Either way, it's cute. Pillow Talk, £125, available from autumn 2017 at A Little Riot