Well, I’ll bet 67% of people fart on public transport. I’ve been groped more times than I can even remember at rush hour, and twice been a victim of men pleasuring themselves while sitting opposite me in empty cars – but that’s a different story. On the more mildly irritating end of the spectrum, a man recently hung up a bag of dry cleaning on the rail directly above my head in an extreme display of manspreading, leaving ample room for his own head as he sat down next to me. Drunk people vomit on the train, sober people read 50 Shades Of Grey, football fans get on and cause a riot, people with colds sneeze, and sad girls (also me) listen to Sia’s “Breathe Me” at full volume while sobbing into a receipt. I’m not about to say that those applying makeup on public transport make the world great, but it certainly shouldn’t make the top 12 list of annoying commuter behavior . A woman who can apply a perfect cat-eye flick without extending her elbows even one inch in the moment’s stop between Canal Street and Spring should be saluted, not trash-tweeted