I'm short. I don't think about it often, but other people have a habit of mentioning it. In fact I'm quite sure that in my absence I'm constantly referred to as "that small one." Yes, I'd like longer legs. No, I don't like having pictures next to my tall friends, but in general, I'm cool with it. 5'2" is fine.

Fashion used to be so prescriptive didn't it? Trinny and Susannah maxims stood true and tall in the early noughties with irritating statements like 'If you're pear shaped try a high-waist' and 'if you have big boobs don't dare think about wearing a high neck top.' Thankfully, in 2016, we've all loosened up considerably. I for one, as a tiny Borrower person, like nothing more than an extra large item of clothing, an over-my-trainers pair of jeans, and a giant hoodie. I only wear heels when I panic and the whole time I have them on, I'm not listening to what you're saying, I'm just thinking "I have heels on. Oh my god, I have heels on."

If left unmonitored, I start to resemble my twin brother circa 2005. Big, long, comfy and loose-fitting sums up my style – all things typically associated with looking and feeling 'sloppy'. But I like to think there's room for an amount of 'disorganised-together', as I'm now calling it. A way to walk into a meeting in extra-long, frayed denim, with your hems-a-dragging, a half-tucked shirt, a knotted jumper, and still feel the business. Extra-long tailoring, asymmetric cuts and sportswear-as-workwear has never been more acceptable – or polished – thanks to fashion houses like Vetements and Céline. Here, in short, is my unprofessional guide to wearing big stuff and looking pretty professional. Short arses, unite.