DiDonato says that one way to maintain a long distance friendship is to not be afraid to start conversations. Specifically conversations that matter.“It’s important to be an initiator of communication and make a point to talk beyond daily pleasantries,” DiDonato says. “This can mean calling friend when you have a problem or you want help with an important decision in your life. It could also be the act of sharing good news. This enhances the intimacy and trust in your relationship.”I still reach out to my long distance friends when I need to talk through a career change. I recently called my college friend Giuliana LaMantia to debrief after a date. Commiseration builds friendships. “We just know we can call each other any time — even in the middle of the night,” Giuliana says. “You and I have similar communication styles in the sense that we’re venters… We just understand how to support each other. That’s part of why it’s so easy to just call each other in a pinch.”While it's nice to keep up with each other every month or so, Moyer notes that it’s not always necessary. You can also initiate communication with long distance pals by just sending a card on their birthday every year or calling them on Christmas or Hanukkah. Moyer says studies have shown that just reaching minimally once a year can keep the relationship alive.She's also experienced this in her own life. She co-wrote her book The Psychology of Friendship with a friend, Mahzad Hojjat, who she met at Yale University. When Moyer moved to the West Coast, she didn't always keep up communications with her Hojjat, she says. "She’d call me out of the blue and we'd have a great conversation, but we weren't always communicating," Moyer says. "But, when I got a chance to visit her, we were both wearing the same shoes and and our glasses were on our heads in the same way, even though we were apart all those years."