Yin: "I think the first word that comes to mind right now — because a lot of people are using it in media about BDSM and a lot of people are using it to excuse really abhorrent behavior (including the narrative that 50 Shades is based on, which is actually all about coercion and abuse) — is consent. In BDSM, one thing I learned that was the most empowering was coming in and learning how to say "yes" to it. And then also how to say no to certain things. What it is to have continuous consent and enthusiastic consent. And then, even if you’re saying 'Yes, I want to be placed into bondage,' it does not mean that you’re saying yes to all the different things that could happen to you while you’re in bondage. There has to be so much communication, so much really honest communication with your partner, which also gives you this sense of realization. If you’re having that conversation with your partner, then you’re able to actually realize that for yourself like ‘Oh these are the different things that I can say yes to or no to.’ And that’s an incredible sense of healing inside to be able to take full agency over your body."