When I see regular exhortations for women to put ourselves out there and make this the year of epic achievement, I feel guilty for all the times I know I will feel I have to do the opposite: recharge and spend time without networking, “risk-taking,” or leaning in any direction except back on my couch. I take these breaks for my health and to nurture my creativity. I know they’re important, but the conversation around impostor syndrome and ambition and women at work always has me questioning my instincts: Am I burned out or self-sabotaging? Am I being smart about my time and energy, or do I not have enough faith in myself?In tandem with this, another issue rears its head once one stops feeling like an impostor: worry about the future and caretaking for sick relatives or children. Sure, “leaning in” might help women avoid opting out of the work force when family issues crop up, but it doesn’t help the anxiety, anger, or sadness that having to make these tough career decisions can bring up. And when we take time to be caretakers or better human beings, it’s hard not to feel like we’re betraying the sisterhood.Ambivalence, apathy, rage, self-sabotage — all these other “ambition conditions” are the quirky relatives of impostor syndrome. In fact, it may actually be less depressing to walk around feeling like, I’m a fraud, than it is to think, The system is rigged against me, and nothing will ever change. But all these feelings are connected, because they all have to do with a status quo that only prizes certain kinds of success — the externally validated kind.Imagine waking up every day and going to work in a country with more humane policies, like paid sick and family leave, longer vacation time, universal basic incomes, occasional sabbaticals, or anything else that would allow us to pursue our intellectual and career ambitions in a healthier way — without feeling like they were the only things that mattered. It might sound like a pipe dream, but in an election year with issues like paid leave and universal basic income actually being discussed by serious candidates and in serious circles , it’s not entirely impossible. In that country, which would look a lot like every other industrialized nation , I think a lot fewer of us would feel like impostors, and a lot more of us would feel like people. That’s why I particularly love to see women talking to each other, reassuring each other, and examining our shared condition instead of merely wringing our hands and worrying that we’re frauds.