Nea spells out the key to being a good bottom in her essay “ I'm A Much Better Bottom Than You. Here's Why,” and you’d do well to read it. “Most good tops, especially the kinky ones, will see a bottom not knowing what they want as a huge red flag, and they’re not wrong,” she writes. “Even if you want them to run the show, you have to give a top some sense of direction. How do you expect them to take you on a ride to Funky Town if you’ve got no clue which route you want to take? It’s essential that you be real with yourself about your erotic desires and think about what it is you’re actually looking for.”