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But, before you can hold your partners accountable, you need to educate yourself, says Shan Boodram certified sex educator and host of Facebook’s Make Up or Break Up . "If you want to get good at anything, if you want to understand what your strength is in golf or what your strength is in math, then you have to go and learn about that thing," she says. She's not advocating a "practice, practice, practice" mentality to sex and relationships, though. When you don't know much about sex or relationships, planning to just dive in and figure it out could go badly, she says. You have the potential to hurt yourself or hurt your partner.