Above all else, wearing beautiful lingerie should be about how it makes you feel. "For the longest time, a woman’s relationship to lingerie has been defined by others," Julia Haart, creative director of La Perla, tells Refinery29. "Whether it’s what she reads in magazines or the messages she receives from the men in her life, there has always been someone else telling her how she should dress. We have been so hard on ourselves; we follow trends and seek perfection and we are too afraid to know ourselves."