There are reams of tips out there to help women give head that "rocks his world": flick the frenulum suck on an ice cube first , and for God’s sake, no teeth (or in the words of the person who received my first blow job, which are forever burned in my memory, "Less teeth, babe" — I guess he was being realistic). Here’s a tip for guys: If you want head, ask for it. If we’re up for it, tell us how you like it. Then, ask what you can do for us. There is no secret button on my head that turns me into a blow job vending machine, so stop pressing. And no, you are not being subtle when you start inching your waist upwards or hover your genitals near my face, as if all of a sudden, your junk will be between my lips and I’ll think, Oh, surprise party in my mouth, what fun!Let's fix the blow job. Let's ditch the idea that it's a service, boycott the BJHP, and bow out of the power struggle. “Blow jobs became something more worth investing in after my boyfriend learned how to reciprocate, which didn't happen until the end of college,” J says. (Which reminds me, I’d like to commission a study of the average length of time between the first time a woman gives head and the first time she gets it.) “I was like, 'Oh okay, he likes doing this for me, and now I feel more comfortable and eager to enjoy doing it to him.'” That’s not a favour. That’s a connection.