I hope I’ve also managed to convey that if you want to put zero effort into finding a partner, you’re still worthy of one, too. Being single is actually not a part time job. It’s simply a completely valid way of life with wonderful and difficult aspects to it — kind of like every other version of life, too. The way we are doesn’t have to be treated like a problem. Great relationships can still start without the pursuit of them. I’ve been tired before, and if you are too, I want you to know that you can have what you want without exhausting yourself, and I’m sorry if it’s taken longer to have it than you expected. It’s taken longer for me, too, so I decided to start loving everything I already have, and trusting that if all of this happiness found me, why wouldn’t a relationship, too? If we want partnership, we will have it, and while I can’t tell you how or when, and I won’t insult you with “ dating advice ,” I can tell you that living life from a place of looking forward to the future, rather than dreading its uncertainty, has entirely changed my life for the better. For the record, I used to think that changing my life for the better was marriage’s job.