From where I stand now, my shorter, more declarative emails and general maternal unfuckwithability feel qualitatively related to the positive transformation of my sex life. Sexy Husband Man has always cared about my satisfaction, even since the earliest sweaty days of our relationship, which is how he attained that title. But as a career-oriented thirtysomething married mother, I’ve got limited time and I’m going to use it for orgasms, goddamnit. There’s been a quality to exiting the phase in which I was most visible to men that’s increased my concern with my own consciousness of myself, which is to say I care less about how men look at me when I walk down the street, and more about how I look at myself when I assess the value of my time.