In the meantime, he takes his frustration out on his brother, who's fallen in love with the very married Duchess of Sutherland. As we learned last week, Albert's the conservative one in the family, and he'd very much not like his brother to screw things up for him, so he asks Ernest to go back to Coburn. Even if Ernest is truly in love, you can tell he'll be just fine with time. The real victim is Ernest's valet, Lohlein, who was hoping to return home to his girlfriend. Poor kid now has to stay behind to keep Albert company, and he looks truly heartbroken. The only bright spot here is how Brodie, whom we've only known as a petty crook until now, steps up to tell Lohlein he has friends in the palace. Aww. Is this story going anywhere? Another surprising development downstairs: Francatelli decides to drop the creepo act and show some decency too. A cholera outbreak means the neighborhood where the real Skerrett and her daughter live is under quarantine, but the pastry chef knows how to bribe street kids and sneak around the place. Not only does he get to see them, but he manages to move them to a safer, unquarantined neighborhood. And the "something in return" he so menacingly asked from Skerrett was just her real name. Not to hang it over her, but to make her a candy "N" for her pillow. Sweet, if still a little creepy. (BTW, am I the only one who just noticed that Ferdinand Kingsley, who plays Francatelli, is the son of Sir Ben? That's why that look of simultaneous threat and charm is so familiar.) Back upstairs, Prince Albert's working on his plan to show the Brits that he's more than a royal sperm bank with a pretty face. He's going to deliver a speech to an international audience of abolitionists. It's a topic about which he feels quite passionate — luckily, he lets his English secretary edit his speech down to an appropriate length — and the audience will include some Tory doubters of his, such as Sir Robert Peel. It's a great success, which brings tears to the eyes of the escaped slave guest of honor (oh, hurrah for white saviors!). And because Victoria understands at the last minute that she has to call in sick to this one, he really does shine on his own. It would appear that this step toward equality makes Victoria and Albert's sexy time even hotter. Except, oops, he catches her jumping on the couch, as advised by the virgin Baroness Lehzen, to avoid getting pregnant. He tells her that not only will jumping not work, but that the only thing that does is abstinence. Either the prince is almost as ignorant about birth control as his wife, or he's a selfish jerk who still knows a child is his only key to real power, because Victoria loooves sex. Have fun with those nine kids, guys!