But don’t lose hope if you chose the higher paying job over a more satisfying one (we once did the same and were miserable), or even a rude-but-hot mate over a kind-but-average-looking one. The point of the book isn’t to show you how you made the wrong decisions, but to get you to rethink how you view happiness — and figure out what it means for you. “I think, to most people, that happiness is a positive state, but beyond that, it is difficult to get people to agree on what it is,” Dr. Raghunathan says. “To someone, it could be a deep connection with someone else, or joy, or a sense of being engaged in deep, meaningful work. So this is why it’s very important to sit down and ask [yourself], what do I equate happiness to be?”