There once was a time — a foolish time — when we believed that one could recognise a basic bitch on sight. There was a checklist of sorts; a scantron’s worth of qualifications. Is she wearing Uggs? Is there a Starbucks cup in his hand? Does she claim to be a total Carrie? Has he posted a picture of latte art on his Instagram within the last two weeks? We’re smarter now. We know that the basic bitch can take on many forms. They blend right in; you might not even be able to identify them in a crowd. Who knows? There could be one sitting right next to you. Hell, you could be one. But there's an upside to being branded with the label — and that upside is an eyeshadow palette. A nude eyeshadow palette. (In addition to all the others the basic bitch already owns. The basic bitch dies for nude eyeshadow palettes.)