Is a narcissistic relationship emotionally abusive?

"It absolutely is. Not all emotional abusers are narcissistic, but almost all narcissistic relationships are going to feel emotionally abusive. But here’s the tricky part: At first blush, narcissists are often so charming and so successful that they seem like the most attractive people in the room. And a lot of people will look back to those first days of the relationship and think, We had that once; we can go back. But not really. They love a game, and once they’ve won you, you cease to be that interesting to them.

"Also, narcissists give us just enough good days, and they get it right just enough of the time...to forgive the stuff that’s actually eroding you from the inside out. If they are a loving mom or dad some of the time, or they do take you on that great vacation, or the holidays are really pleasant, it can help someone bridge the gap between those bad days. But they are often very superficial good days or characteristics, like a good Christmas, a nice bracelet, or they’re really attractive. The person in the narcissistic relationship keeps trying to make excuses around that."

What is co-narcissism?

"There’s the term codependency, the idea that you would support an addict and that’s what keeps the relationship functional. People sometimes try to use the word codependency to describe people in narcissistic relationships, but it’s a little different. In a co-narcissistic relationship, you’ve got the narcissist, and then the co-narcissist is the audience. The spotlight is always on the narcissist, always getting their needs met. The co-narcissist is basically trying to live their life keeping the narcissist pleased... You spend your whole life applauding them, but they never come down offstage and have a shared, mutual space with you.