One time, after we’d been together for a year, my partner and I were at a luncheon, and the woman next to us kept bringing up our hypothetical interracial children. I wasn’t even sure if I wanted kids at the time (and actually, I’m still unsure), but when I tried to end the conversation, she began to tell us how she wished she had a mixed race kid, because they are just the best. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but something felt really wrong about what she was saying — it was as if she was ranking skin tones, and by combining ours, my partner and I were giving our (again, hypothetical) children some sort of competitive edge. The conversation didn’t leave me feeling angry, though, since it seemed like she was trying to be nice. I mostly just felt weird.