Netflix's Fuller House is back for season 2 and I think I finally get why it just doesn’t it work in the ways it should. Sure, it’s perfect comfort TV: nothing actually happens, you don’t have to think about anything, and you don’t really feel anything, either. Fuller House can deliver a couple of chuckles — and the occasional cameo will shake things up a bit. But the hype around Fuller House relied heavily on the '90s nostalgia related to its predecessor, Full House. We were amped enough on our memories to get through the first season, but this time around, I was literally begging for Jesse, Joey, and Danny to show up...and they left us hanging until episode 6.

Fuller House’s attempt at a modern family is too corny and sterile to inspire anyone. The magic of Full House was the chemistry that Danny, Jesse, and Joey brought to audiences while trying to raise a house full of girls. Decades ago, they were the progressive family. But D.J., Stephanie, and even Kimmy (in all of her annoying glory), were never the centerpieces of the show.

By banking on the three of them for the show’s revival and envisioning them as an imperfectly wholesome bunch — D.J. being a single mom, Stephanie as a musician, and Kimmy in a faux-interracial relationship — isn't fascinating, or even quirky, in 2016.

Here’s how these three main characters should have actually been reimagined.