Well, it's time to bulldoze right over those feelings, because they're coming from a place that shames people (but especially women) for taking charge of their sex lives, says psychotherapist and dating coach Kate Stewart . It's not cocky to pack a bag, it's good planning. And, it's possible that your sex buddy will be flattered and excited that you're prepared for a sleepover. So Stewart suggests not only packing a change of clothes, but also bringing along your favorite brand of condoms and lube (and sex toys , if you're comfortable lugging those around). It's smart to make sure you have everything you need to have hot, comfortable, and satisfying sex. And the same goes if you're the one hosting. "I always tell my dating coaching clients who are looking to have casual sex that they need to keep a bunch of extra toothbrushes, toothpaste, contact solution, and extra pajamas, so that any guest would feel comfortable staying over," Stewart says. So why shouldn't you be prepared if there's even the slightest chance that you could be sleeping at someone else's house? There's no shame in taking care of yourself. Actually, it's empowering to take charge of your desires