Like a lot of college women, Clarissa’s sex life also had a social component. Think of the Sex and the City brunch table, recreated in dining halls across the country. Talking about hookups after the fact plays a “huge, huge” role in fostering the culture, Dr. Wade said. “It’s a powerful motivating force. It’s part of the rewards structure,” she said. Clarissa would drag herself to breakfast after a night out and debrief about where she had partied, who she had slept with. “It became this thing where I felt like I had to be proud of the sex that I was having,” she said. “Because otherwise I was going to be shamed for it.” The first year at school, after Clarissa was raped, was a splintering one; she had a series of one night stands with men she didn’t know or like. Often, she dissociated, feeling hollow and separated from herself, waiting for sex to be over. But when she and her friends talked about their sex lives, “I couldn’t be negative,” she said. “I definitely had to spin it in a positive light.” There was no room in the dialogue to talk about her trauma.