About 15 years ago, on a rainy night, I stood on the corner outside my local running club. I leaned against the cold concrete wall, watching the “real runners” mill about, discussing their latest runs and training regimes. My inner voice started to chime in with unsolicited chatter: What were you thinking? They are totally out of your league. The commentary almost deafening, I stood to the side, silently watching. I wanted to leave, but I was too paralyzed with fear to turn around and go home. Yet, all my life, I had dreamed of being a runner.

My fear of participating was real, though. It stemmed from my lack of confidence that I could actually make it as a runner in my 220-pound body. After all, I’d never seen a likeness of my body successfully running (or participating in any sport, for that matter) in any fitness media. Furthermore, I’d never seen plus-size runners in my highly active city. This truly was uncharted territory, and my fight-or-flight instinct was acute that night.

I’d spent the last decade drinking, smoking, and diet-cycling — and that was what had brought me to this corner, waiting to sign up for my first run club. I’d had enough. I’d hit rock bottom, and now I wanted good health and the athletic life I’d been dreaming of. I was ready to do whatever it took to move forward.

Somehow, at the strike of 7 p.m., I managed to get through the door. I made my way to the back, where a chalkboard and benches were set up for the Tuesday Night Learn To Run 5K Clinic. I gathered with the “real runners,” nervously fiddling with my shoes until a woman decked out in running gear stood before us and introduced herself as our run leader. In that iconic moment, my fear and anxiety slipped away. I found myself paralyzed again, only this time with surprise and joy — because she was a plus size athlete. Until that night, I didn’t know they existed. How could I have? Her name was Chris, and her courage to be seen as a plus size athlete forever changed my perception of what my body was capable of.

After years of flipping through fitness magazines, books, and DVDs, trying to force my body to fit into fitness culture unsuccessfully, Chris’ very existence filled me with a new sense of possibility. Seeing one single representation of a body like mine had the power to change my mindset for good.

Chris became a major influence in my life. She trained me though that 5K clinic and several more. Throughout that year, I underwent a complete, life-changing transformation: I became an athlete, and as I did, I grew confident, healthy, and unstoppable. And I did it while losing exactly zero pounds. Turns out, I didn't have to lose weight to become the athlete I always wanted to be. With Chris’ guidance, I kept putting one foot in front of the other, and I built the confidence to do a 10K. After completing a few 10K races, I was invited to assist in leading others. I, who had once stood apart from the "real runners," had become a leader among them. It was my time to be seen.

I started training my first 10K group, and over 13 weeks, I built my skills as a leader. As I crossed the finish line with my 37 participants, I realized that I had arrived, and that this role was my calling. I soon left my successful career in the film and television industry to pursue fitness leadership full-time.