Like all non-transgender people who know someone who has transitioned, Kaplan had to relearn how to refer to her son and later her daughter — Kaplan’s younger child also came out as transgender soon after her brother. It took practice to let go of the names she chose for her kids, and the idea she had of who they’d be based on their sex assigned at birth, Kaplan says. But it’s important for the cisgender (non-trans) people in a transgender or gender non-conforming person’s life to do this work, and to use their proper name and pronouns.