Since then, I have had a few different romantic relationships — all diverse and educational. From a nine year long live-in situation, to a whirlwind passionate fling with a much younger man, a long-distance situation, some short-lived casual dating, and some healthy grown-up love. For me, the most important lesson so far has been identifying my self worth. Like Joe, I always felt I understood this. Both Joe and I insisted we were wonderful partners, and wanted to prove that. What I know now, however, is that valuing yourself is separate from valuing your ego . Egos are boastful. Their self-esteems are based on validation from other people, and not from within one’s self. When you truly value what you bring to the table; who you are regardless of partners, friends, family or colleagues, you don’t need to advertise. You will never feel extreme jealously when you are happy with yourself and your own qualities. You will never feel like you’re not good enough for someone, but instead will focus on whether they’re compatible with you. It becomes less about fighting and competing for love, as we have been conditioned to think, and more about freely sharing mutual positives. You will seek out a partner who complements you, not one that completes you. Trust will come more easily, as anxieties over loss and abandonment fade way. Breakups will be easier to overcome when you don’t immerse yourself totally in another person. Knowing who you are, and what makes you so special, is integral for entering into a