But instead, I said nothing of the sort; I never did, not to him or anyone else. I didn't want to burden anyone with my pain. I didn't want to feel that heartache myself, nor did I want to make anyone feel uncomfortable for having asked something so upsetting unknowingly — so I'd lie. I'd say yes; that we'd love to; that someday, fingers crossed, we'll have another. It was the cleanest and most polished way I could think of to uphold someone else's dignity. But what took me some time to understand was that every time I did that, I was doing a great disservice to myself — to my loss, my reality and my pain — and to the other people experiencing something like this, with whom these well-meaning folks would go on to repeat the same conversational faux pas.