7 p.m. — My cousins and one sister head out to dinner, but I stay back with my other sister who requested we order BBQ and stay in. Its been a tough day and the baby is exhausted and needs to sleep. Bars and tattoos can do that to you! We talk about my nephew's anniversary and I talk to her about how my life has changed since he passed away. On one hand, because I know life can be taken away at any moment, I have become even more emotional (if that was even a possibility) because I cherish my relationships and continually text people that I love them. On the other hand, my anxiety has shot through the roof because I am in a constant state of fear that people are going to die. It is an exhausting cycle. I try to choose joy everyday and pray to my nephew to help me see it in the world. We order Postmates (sister pays) and they fail to bring half our order. Whomp whomp. We get a refund for the items that were missing.