If the label "feminist porn" is meant to describe how porn is made more than the acts it depicts, then, did we have to call it that?I ask Kelly Shibari , CEO of a PR group for adult entertainment companies who has also modeled for Penthouse and performed in many a porno."A lot of mainstream porn is actually feminist, so trying to create this sub-genre of 'feminist porn' kind of fell flat eventually," she tells me. "Even if scenes are perceived as misogynistic, on the production end, they do respect a performer’s boundaries... I think that [feminist porn] could have been called 'humanist porn' or 'inclusive porn.'"Shibari knows firsthand that acts many would dismiss as misogynistic can be hot for both female performers and female viewers. "One of the projects that I was proud of was a blow-bang film I made roughly five years ago with a group of male fans," she says. "I marketed it as a 'feminist blow-bang,' because it was my decision and my fantasy, rather than something I was simply hired to do by a studio — and it was nominated for a Feminist Porn Award."What I am looking for in porn is exactly this beautiful Venn diagram overlap in which performers enjoy good working conditions and exercise agency, as Shibari describes, while engaging in intense sex, including acts I find sexy but don't necessarily want to try in my own life. For me, the problem with watching those stereotypical videos with terrible plot lines is not the content; it's that it's hard to know whether performers are, in fact, working in good conditions (especially if you're not paying for any of the porn you watch — more on how that affects performers here ).That consideration, though, doesn't evaporate when you're watching "feminist porn," and labeling porn as such doesn't automatically mean that all performers were treated with respect or compensated fairly. These should be the markers of feminism in entertainment, not whether it includes a woman being tied up and slapped in a dimly lit room.The stigma of watching "porn for men" as a woman lingers, though. Women whose enjoyment of rough sex in porn I've discussed with them in the past clam up when I air that I'm writing about the diversity of women's porn preferences. "I don't think I want to tell you what I look up," one usually open friend laughs when I ask.Shibari is more forthcoming about her tastes. "My personal barometer for pornography is, 'Can I masturbate to it?,' and there certainly are different things that different people masturbate to," she tells me. "My personal preferences lean towards viewing penetrative sex acts, including group sex and rougher scenes.""Does that make me 'not a feminist'?" she continues. "Absolutely not! Distinguishing between fantasy and reality is extremely important. Not every woman wants her own sex life reflected in [her] porn... I really feel it's a feminist act to own what you fantasize about, even if, in reality, it may appear misogynistic."As Gia London wrote for SNEAKY, "The concept of female friendly porn is amazing in theory, but most of it operates from the basic assumption that female sexuality is centered on the themes of romance, eroticism and sensuality" — which isn't what all women are looking for late at night, because, gasp, we're not all the same.So please, kindly drop the "porn, gross, amiright ladies?" throwaway lines in your articles, and maybe, if it's not too much too ask, let's ditch the "feminist porn" label altogether. If the label "feminist porn" means that a video was produced ethically, then all porn should be feminist, and we shouldn't need the label at all. Yes, look for companies and performers you know and trust — Shibari cites Evil Angel , the pioneer of gonzo porn, as a company with which she has especially enjoyed working. But let's also enjoy domination and submission and hair-pulling and shibari and consensual non-consent and double penetration and more, and rest in the knowledge that what's really feminist is knowing — and celebrating — what you like.