The best advice on social media condolences comes from Meg Tansey , who writes Modern Loss' advice column . She put it this way : “My first rule of grief is that the worst thing you can do is nothing. So, at the risk of horrifying both grandmothers and etiquette experts everywhere, I think you are correct that if someone posts about a loss in their life on Facebook, you are not in the wrong to respond on Facebook. There are two main reasons for this. One: I generally feel that you should follow the grieving person’s lead as much as possible (i.e. talk about the person if they want to talk about the person, don’t if they don’t). Two: I think a medium like Facebook can be a great way to provide someone with a much-needed, real-time jolt of sympathy and community. And, community support, both in real life and increasingly online, is an important part of the mourning process. That being said, is a Facebook comment sufficient for a friend mourning his mother? Of course not. A more thoughtful follow-up, whether it’s a note or a call or an e-mail, is in order.” Read what else Meg had to say on the topic here