He begins by calling the film "dramatically flat," but the heart of his issues appear to be with the very thing that everyone else is loving: Lady Bird's coming of age. He writes that "even losing her virginity occurs with a whimper" (never mind the fact that the scene was a refreshing representation of first-time sex that we are rarely shown on screen) and goes on to say that Gerwig still has a long way to go before she's as good as "Mike Leigh or a Louis Malle," who just happen to both be dudes.