These one-liners made me feel less alone. Soon after, I began using my writing as an outreach tool and a therapeutic vehicle for veterans coping with military sexual trauma. That’s when those hastily muttered phrases expanded into alarming narratives of rape, retaliation, ruined relationships, substance abuse, depression, prescription drug overdoses, and suicide attempts.

The women told me about their careers — flight school, promotions, college classes, and engagements — coming to a halt after their assaults. Women who had jumped from airplanes and climbed mountains could now barely leave their homes some days. They had recurring nightmares that kept them from sleeping, and all-day anxiety that made them unfocused and unproductive. They hated the smell of certain colognes. They kept their backs to the walls.

There is, to me, no “getting over” trauma — but there is moving forward. Coping skills can be mastered, and justice for perpetrators can be won — but first, the trauma needs to be addressed head-on.

As I watched the second presidential debate with 25 other devoted Democrats and Clinton supporters in a clubhouse at Adam Ridge in Johnston, IA, though, I didn’t see any acknowledgement of our pain. As the questions came, I wondered whether what I saw and heard resembled the progress I was hoping for. Where was my voice in the debate? Where were the stories of service members and veterans? Despite all the data and news coverage of struggling vets over the past decade, we were met only with silence.

And so I’ll raise the question here. I’ll bring it up tomorrow, too, and the day after — right up until veterans, especially female veterans, active-duty personnel, and their families get some answers. You see, in order to live the American dream, sometimes you have to fight for it. That’s why I’m so proud to run for the legislature in my home state of Iowa, because I want to fight sexual violence, advocate for veterans and their families, and meet these kinds of tough questions with legislation that helps all Iowans feel safer and better equipped to take steps to make their dreams a reality.