Why do you feel you may be 'bad' or 'boring'? Is there a sense that a part of you feels fragile and/or unhappy and that if others get even a hint of this you would be confirmed as that burdensome or miserable other? Someone you maybe would not like. A part of you is possibly terrified to give in to the 'shadow' side in case it is true. So you remain feeling in control, keeping others at a safe distance, massively reassuring them – and you – that there is no problem. I wonder what 'boring' really means to you? Does it mean not being exciting? Or covering the same old ground? You may feel anxious that no one would want to do any of this with you. You could ask a friend if they mind if you go over a 'boring' event or repeat something. A good friend will welcome your confiding in them and the possibility of a reciprocal opportunity with you.