But for now, those are questions that people ask, cis people mainly. They are questions that seem to matter to people and until a broader range of people inhabit spaces like Tinder, they will continue to be asked. Maybe that is the point of the new options: merely to increase the diversity of people occupying the space and to dilute these questions into non-existence. More options might not break down the dating dilemma that sees many trans women posting messages about loneliness on a Saturday night; maybe that will still go on, at least while generations of trans people transition later in life. That's really part of our issue – that dating is tough as an older woman, no matter how new your pussy is. Whatever your options to let people know your gender, after a certain point, you enter the grand age of invisibility. You could describe yourself as anything, but people first and foremost see you as "older", as "ageing" and, sadly, as "post-sex".

But Tinder is right, we do have to begin to break down the barriers that silently say that trans people should occupy trans-only spaces or spaces defined just for trans people: trans nightclubs, or clubs for trans "admirers", or trans dating sites (pre-/post-op/dick/shemale/little bit extra). I'm not trying to shame anyone who fancies me (god forbid; love me, please) but up to now we have been given only a sliver of land to occupy. 10 or even five years ago, joining a dating/sex site and saying you were transgender would have been unheard of. Maybe we just need to jump in and begin the process of breaking down the rigidity of others’ gender expectations.

When I first tried to transition, as a teacher, people were genuinely shocked that I felt that a school could cope with my keeping my job and transitioning. Scroll forward 10 years and we have many trans teachers and pupils within our schools, working and learning. Their processes and histories are not hidden away from view, shushed away on sabbaticals or cloaked in the phenomenon of "passing". It's not perfect yet – but the landscape is changing.

A couple of years ago I did an experiment (unscientific) on a really well-known dating site (pre-Tinder). First, I just put up a photo of me: a nice, smiling one; I lied about my age and described my hobbies in a way that made me seem entirely uncomplicated (reading, cinema, eating out with friends). I had a lot of interest and potential dates. In the interest of research I went on a couple. I'm not easy company, it came out, and the dates were disasters.

Then I added that I was transgender. I was upfront and clear.