Well, it’s a lot of things. One, Laura is kind of a big deal. So there are times when I am pulled up on the metaphorical stage. That’s intimidating. There have been instances when I’ve been tossed in socially with people whom I’ve admired, watched, enjoyed — people to whom I’ve been tuned in for years, who have influenced my life in some way. Laura’s job IS to be tuned in, and to comment, explore, interact, and share what she finds with the rest of the world. I run into problems when she leaves for the bathroom, and those of us left behind realise that she was the one running the show. I just hope that someone else picks up the reigns before the silence drags too long, as anything I can think of to say is inevitably horribly awkward. I recently found myself hyperventilating at an SNL afterparty, agonising over a botched interaction with a famous actress when, in fact, all I’d said was “Hello.” My big success that night was a latent compliment from Laura’s pal Kristen Wiig on my Donald Trump impression. I cling to this. There are plenty of moments that could be prizes on a game show. Win a chance to be styled by Laura Brown! Win a hike with Emilia Clarke! Win a trip to the Paris fashion shows! Win a dream vacation to the Bahamas! Listen folks, I’ve won so much, I’m getting tired of winning. (Not really — we just came back from Australia, where we drowned in adorable marsupials.) Also: She has a nice apartment. The ceilings are high. And it is full of interesting trinkets and books and paintings and photographs, all tastefully arranged. Her closets are full of nice clothes. It’s nice to live in a nice place. She smells good. She is pretty. But often, it’s hard. Laura runs a giant international publishing brand, and I ask strangers what they want to eat for lunch. One of these jobs pays more than the other, even with the gender wage gap. She pays for dinner 95% of the time (sometimes I spring for pancakes at the diner). I can’t even afford her dry cleaning. I have negative money. I owe $30,000 in student loans. I’m working hard, but am still in the early stages of my quest to build a career out of stand-up comedy and writing. And when I consort with Laura and her friends, so many of whom are successful, established — often, wildly so — I worry about the trap of thinking I have made it. I haven’t. In fact, my reward-to-work ratio is completely out of whack and I’m wary of losing the sense of urgency necessary to induce growth. Every time we go out to a nice dinner or stay in a beautiful hotel, I try to remember: I haven’t earned this life yet. I am reminded of this when I call down to concierge and am greeted with a “Bonjour, Mr. Brown.” It feels a bit like I am up on a narrow bridge and I don’t want to fall off into the flaming death volcano of entitlement. But on the other side of the coin, the world has just been struck by a giant orange asteroid with a combover. So, YOLO!