Even though men reported enjoying sexual encounters more if they followed the “six-minute rule,” the study did show that they will still reach orgasm without it, whereas the majority of women (61%) will not. That’s where the “wham, bam, thank you ma'am stereotype” that men get saddled with comes from, says Cynthia Loyst , sex educator, advice columnist, and author of Find Your Pleasure: The Art of Living a More Joyful Life . Loyst says that perceiving intercourse or men achieving orgasm as the “main event” is the biggest problem with our current outlook on sex. “There's this idea that women see sex one way and men see sex another way,” she says. “We need to rename ‘foreplay’ and ‘ after-play ’ to just ‘sexual play’ because it's all sexual pleasure.”