We've dealt with enough today. From inauguration violence to animal cruelty to baffling 1700s fashion revivals, it's been a doozy. So it's high time the universe — that is, Canada, no surprise there — offered us another true tale of an animal being smarter than us all. Once upon a time, a.k.a. last week in the Northwest Territories, a timid dog named Ted hit it off with a kennel worker at the local SPCA. The worker, Abbey Boyd, told CBC News that Ted had just arrived at the shelter and was too scared to even go for a walk. What's a puppy-loving gal to do? "I fed him cheese-flavored bacon strips to try to get him to love me," Boyd explained. Of course. This was Boyd's only interaction with Ted that day, but Ted was clearly hoping for a second date. The next morning, Boyd went to work at her job at the airport; when she returned home, Ted was sitting on her porch. Apparently he'd made a jailbreak from the shelter and puppy-galloped 3.4 miles — through multiple neighborhoods, the airport, and possibly some lakes — to Boyd's house, having never been there before. "It doesn't really make sense, how he would have chosen or found me out of all the smells," Boyd told CBC . "It's just, it's the weirdest, the most amazing thing that's ever happened." Boyd is obviously now in the process of adopting Ted, and I am now obviously in the process of watching dog-owner-reunion videos on a loop until 2020.