As a professional organiser in New York City, a big part of my job is helping clients declutter and hone in on which items are necessary and positive additions to their lives. I have spent countless hours working to help them gain control of their belongings and rid themselves of physical burdens. This often involves encouraging clients to say goodbye to excessive sentimental items or possessions that can be hard to let go of. I can assure you that people are always thrilled at the end of the process, but the work itself can be challenging. And when it comes to clearing out a space after the death of a loved one, things get even more difficult.

Going through someone’s stuff after that person dies can be a brutal task. I should know; my mom died two weeks before my 15th birthday.

She had been losing her battle against cancer for almost a year, so it came as no surprise when she was taken from us one evening in late August. The disease took a toll on her entire body, changing it from the inside out, to the point where she was almost unrecognisable and couldn’t put together cohesive sentences. It was terrible to witness and now, over 13 years later, I can still feel the pang and intensity of the loss. My family chose to move about a year after her death, and my aunt, sister, and I took it upon ourselves to go through her belongings. We boxed up the most special clothing and shoes and some of her beautiful, delicate nightgowns. The myriad of get-well cards and letters were put into a box and sealed up. All of her jewellery went into a safe along with her old passports and ID cards. My mother’s work papers and files were thrown away, and we donated the rest of her clothing and shoes at a centre in Brooklyn. We went about the process in a swift, practical way — focusing mostly on getting the job done, figuring we could revisit when the pain was less intense.