Other survival tips from a fringe veteran

OK, I learnt this the hard way: leave high heels at home. The cobbles, the hills, the weather and the whisky will all conspire against you. In fact, practicalities always end up trumping style. There'll be at least one day that feels like it got lost on its way to November, but when the sun comes out, damp basements and overcrowded tents will suddenly steam you inside your tights like a sweaty haggis. Basically, wear layers that can be rapidly thrown on or peeled off in a portaloo. And always, always carry an umbrella.

Try not to walk down the Royal Mile. It will be full of slow-moving tourists, bad street theatre, and a rainforest's worth of flyers for really rubbish shows. It's like Covent Garden on a Saturday, except everything's made of tartan.

Do download the Fringe app, but also rip out the map from your programme as a back-up. There are 464 venues on the Fringe; it gets confusing. Check the name of the venue, and check it again: several are dangerously similar, although you’ll discover you can run from Pleasance Courtyard and Pleasance Dome in five minutes.

Edinburgh Time is also something that needs to be adjusted to. It’s entirely standard to go into a show at midnight. And you’ll need a drink and a blether about it afterwards, and suddenly it’s 2am on a Tuesday and you’re considering that walk up Arthur’s Seat… Basically adjust your settings so that breakfast happens after midday, and you’re hitting your stride about 11pm.

The best way to experience Edinburgh? Embrace the madness, cram in as many shows as you can, and sleep on the train home.