Immediately, things go wrong. The couple is awoken in the middle of the night by horrifying screeching, a knock on the door, and garbage cans being thrown around. Matt wants to believe it's just the angry hillbillies acting out, but Shelby isn't so sure.

Eventually, Matt has to go on a business trip — because traveling is kind of a key part of being a traveling salesman — leaving Shelby alone in a home she kind of fears. Shelby deals with this by doing some yoga (natch) and settling down for a quiet evening of cooking and wine. After hearing a noise, she wanders through the house catching a glimpse of some unknown people. (Who kind of look like the nurses from Murder House — coincidence?) Nervous, she heads to her outdoor hot tub for a soak. While I was busy looking at how precariously her glass of rosé was resting on the edge, Shelby is grabbed and almost drowned in the tub by an unknown pair of hands.

The police do nothing. They haven't found any sign of activity or struggle around the hot tub, so Shelby must have been drunk. (Because everyone knows women can't tell the difference between a friendly prank and an assault...duh.) It doesn't help that Shelby describes her attackers as wearing old-timey clothing and carrying torches and pitchforks. After all, this isn't Shrek.

That night, Matt wakes up to the same horrible screeching. He goes to the front door to investigate, and finds a dead pig. Instead of, you know, bringing this evidence to the authorities, he buries it. However, he does install security cameras. Can't be too careful.

As Matt has to go back to his business trip, he invites Lee (Adina Porter, portrayed by Angela Bassett in the doc), his sister and a former law enforcement officer, to stay with Shelby. Lee does not like Shelby (“Lee judged my yoga, and my gluten allergy and my two years of college.”) I LOVE Lee — Angela Bassett should just play every role in this show. (“I may not have my badge, but Mama’s still packing.”)