Earlier this year, the New York comedy scene was wracked by allegations that one of its members had sexually assaulted multiple women ; a number of progressive men — including a Saturday Night Live cast member and writer and an Inside Amy Schumer writer — turned on the accusers, questioning their allegations and their credibility. And that was not an isolated incident. A number of prominent men, from Bill Cosby to Louis CK to Jian Ghomeshi to Nate Parker have been accused of sexual assault, even as many of them claim to stand up for the rights and well-being of women.The risks women face to their physical safety aren’t merely from the cartoonish, proudly misogynist monsters of the alt right: They’re from our friends, our family, our partners, and, yes, even Hillary-supporting “nice” liberal men. The same fathers of daughters who claim to cherish and revere women routinely make us less safe, chipping away at our physical and emotional boundaries and reminding us that — more than anything else — our purpose in life is to be consumed by the men who happen to find us attractive.The only thing different about Trump is that he doesn’t feel obligated to hide his raw, ugly misogyny behind any sort of polite facade. He doesn’t feel the need to pretend that he respects women — that he sees them as anything other than bodies to be rated or holes to be filled — perhaps because he knows that, as many of his defenders stressed, his graphic descriptions of sexual assault aren’t all that different from the way men across America talk to each other about women.The ugliness is out in the open now, and in a few months, it will be inaugurated into the highest office in the land. We can keep pretending that it’s an isolated, #notallmen thing, that there are good men and monsters and this time the monsters just happened to win. Or we can recognize that this is an ugliness that we are all culpable in, one embedded in the way we depict women in the media and in how we frame sex and relationships on TV and in films and in books; a toxic sea of misogyny that we’ve all been immersed in for so long, we barely recognize it for what it is.We’ve been trying the former for a while now, and this is where it’s got us. The latter option might be the only one we have left.