That said, there are a handful of red flags that might mean it's time to have a sit-down with your partner about their ex. There's no need to get accusatory, and it's generally not your place to tell your partner to cut off communication with their ex, Dr. Shuey says. But it's important to figure out where their relationship with their ex stands if something alarming comes up. This is your time to communicate to your partner how that relationship makes you feel ( "I" statements can be crucial ), and to workshop ways you can both be more comfortable with the situation.