For my master’s thesis, I explored how we navigate grief in modern Western culture, which allowed me to connect with other young people who lost parents but also emerged with a new sense of perspective. One of them is Katie Shim, whose mother died of colon cancer when she was in high school. Losing it all freed her to explore life on her own terms, she says. “It’s [allowed me] to seek my own female mentors,” she says. “It’s taught me to be more vigilant, how to be more compassionate and really sit with my emotions.” Shim recently followed her lifelong dream and moved to California, saying it was her mother’s death that empowered her to make the leap. Daniela Zirrizotti, who was 17 when her mother died of a stroke, also says that losing her mom put a “fire in her” to do things for her mother’s legacy. This is what post-traumatic growth researcher Dr. Joseph Kasper calls “ co-destiny ,” which involves working towards achieving things in your life that you think your deceased loved one would have achieved if they were still alive.