He also tells a dark story of tying his wife up during sex, and his hatred for her when he returned from the war, that happened before he stopped drinking. It hints at his dark side, which we're supposed to understand has been repressed by AA, but his moodiness and brooding during the story signals that even if she had lived and pursued this relationship it may have been...dangerous. But his darkness also allows her the freedom to explore her own, admitting to some of the worst things she feels she has done and her most bleak feelings. In some ways, her speech about Gabriel feels like the reflection of someone who is already gone — a reckoning and resolution, finally bringing self-forgiveness. Ben, again, does exactly the right thing by putting some music on and asking her to dance. Maybe the answer lies in her telling to Ben of Athena's (Deirdre O’Connell) theories on reincarnation and admitting that she's come as far as she can in this life, that she's just waiting to die. When he asks what she wants, she realises she wants him, and just before they have hot outdoor sex, she makes him promise not to mess with her heart.