1. Frame it positively. First, you need to put the person at ease so they are more capable of listening and receiving the feedback. If you start the meeting with the “bad news” or come across as threatening in any way, you’ll immediately trigger the person’s defence emotions and they won’t be able to process anything you’re saying. It’s because of the amygdala, the part of the brain that turns on your body’s fight-or-flight response when it senses a threat. When activated, the amygdala sets off a cascade of hormonal reactions that cause you to become angry, want to run away, or shut down. To avoid this, start with some kind words and point out things the the team member is doing right. You also need to convey the feeling that you care about their professional development and that you are on their side. Use phrases like, “I’m your biggest champion,” or “I believe you have a very successful career in front of you and want to be helpful in any way I can.” Don’t use phrases like, “Here are some things we need to talk about,” or “Here are some areas I’m finding challenging for you.”