I was reading this interview with David Bailey the other day who admitted that the first time someone asked him if he’d ever taken a “selfie”, he thought they were referring to masturbation. That’s what a selfie is though, right? A form of self love – that occasionally tips into you getting off with yourself for everyone to see. Because what a typical 'selfie' is really asking is this: ‘Do you think I’m sexy?’In 2016, we pretty much have sex with our iPhones. I might go so far as to suggest that the mobile is not only a means of communication, but also a rather un-sexily packaged vibrator (of sorts).In my opinion, the selfies we send to our lovers privately are blurring with the images we post of ourselves on social media. When we advertise ourselves, which we do now, daily, we get lazy. Pictures so quickly become about how our peers – and then in turn absolute strangers – value our lives. The selfie is, arguably, at the forefront of that sexual stock, where likes raise or lower our value on the market in the blink of a tap.As an unattached female, it can be a tricky game to play, because you're essentially inviting others to cast their vote on your physicality. On paper, the upside of a selfie sent with the aim of arousing one person, is that it's only going to be seen by one person, of your choosing. The reality, however, is that it could end up being seen, and commented on, by a lot of people, and that's why I don't send them, even when asked. Beyond finding the whole thing really unsexy, I'm just not up for rolling the dice with naked images of myself.We meet potential love matches with our mobiles (dating apps); we advertise our sexual prowess with pictures (see above re: selfies); we remind current partners of our physical value (a Facebook profile picture change perhaps.) Sex, in 2016, is not something you have to do in person. It no longer equates to penetration or to two people being in the same place at the same time. Sex that occurs through a screen is just as valid as the traditional, fleshy act. 'Sexting', or 'Digital Love', or whatever you'd like to call it, is happening, and it's real, and it's shaping the libido of the next generation. It's everything we need as time-poor people: instant, spontaneous, consuming.While a sultry, 'come-hither' selfie on the ‘gram might be a nod or a wink in the right person's direction, we're also using our private messaging apps to have full-blown, pretty explicit sex. I am of course talking about Whatsapp, Facebook messenger, the common text, Instagram direct messages – even Snapchat. In the words of Yo Gotti’s hit song, "It Goes Down In The DM". The ‘DM’ has opened up a whole new level of personal ways to interact with our sexual conquests. Yo Gotti is on to something: We’re all having sex in the DM.