And so my best friend and I have spent my due date doing the things I love most: relaxing by a beautiful pool with the sun beating down onto our skin, sipping cocktails and champagne, and eating an Alps-sized mountain of ice-cream sundaes. I've been unafraid to think about what I went through and everything that the baby could have been. I have been gentle with myself, I have been respectful to my experience, and although I have spent the majority of the day feeling numb, rather than teary, the one time I did feel my emotions erupting, I let them. I locked myself in the bathroom and sobbed, and then lay on the marshmallow bed in the suite with my best friend while she consoled me. But despite the pain of losing another baby, and despite the pain of having empty arms on this day, it’s important for me to be grateful for what I do have and make the most of the moments I have as a childless woman. To do the things I've always wanted to do, as well as remember the babies I loved so much, but never got to meet.