“I drop the F-bomb a little too much; I drink a little too much wine. She doesn’t sleep; she’s a perfectionist.” Jillian Harris is rattling off reassurances that she and Tori Wesszer , her cousin and co-author of the new plant-based cookbook Fraiche Food Full Hearts , are not as flawless as they seem on Instagram. Tucked into a corner of the Fairmont Royal York in Toronto, Wesszer and Harris look just as put-together as their timelines would suggest. But the busy moms (they’ve got a pair of kids each) from Kelowna, B.C., attest that while their lives are pretty exceptional (We are healthy, we’ve got great kids, our husbands are okay most of the time,” Harris quips), they suffer from the same IG anxiety as the rest of us. “I see someone’s grid and I’m like ‘Holy flip, how do they do that?’” says Wesszer, a registered dietitian. One of the biggest differences between the cousins is that Harris would replace “flip” in that sentence with the real thing.Harris’s potty-mouthed, wine-induced candour is why she’s still a fan-favourite of Bachelor nation (she placed third on The Bachelor in 2009 and went on to become one of the most beloved bachelorettes of The Bachelorette). In the decade since she was dumped-then-engaged on camera, Harris has built a Pinterest-perfect empire as a home-decor expert on Love It or List It Vancouver , fashion designer, mommy blogger, influencer, and philanthropist. She also had kids and got engaged to someone she didn’t meet on reality TV. If you are one of the 1-million people who follow Harris’s Instagram account, you’ll know that Wesszer is her frequent collaborator, best friend and closest family member. In fact, Wesszer lets it slip that Harris snuck a phone onto The Bachelorette (lead contestants are not allowed any contact with the outside world) and she was the one Harris called frantically for advice. “I would get calls at like four in the morning like, ‘Hi, it’s the rose ceremony, I don’t know what to do!’” Wesszer lowers her voice, mimicking Harris’s middle-of-the-night whispers.