When we won the right, first in New York and then nationwide, to form families under the law, I immediately joked, “So! What’s my excuse now?” I still think half the fun of being queer is living outside the conventions of what love, sex, and “family” are supposed to mean, but marriage equality meant we were no longer quite free from the same pressures to “settle down” as our hetero peers. At least theoretically. My straight older brother still bears the full weight of my parents’ expectations that he’ll one day give them grandkids. I’m sure they’d be both surprised and thrilled if I were to welcome kids of my own, but their idea of the sort of life I can have hardly seems to have changed since I came out, and the pressure is definitely off.