If your family member responds in an abusive way, or doesn't make an effort to listen to what you say, you're within your rights to take a break from that relationship. "Generally we cannot “dump” our family members," Dr. Breland-Noble acknowledges. "But, we can absolutely determine how much, or how little, we engage. If you cannot physically avoid them — maybe you care for an aging parent or you had to move back home after college — stop having conversations about race," she advises. "If they can’t love you enough to be anti-racist around you , you engaging in a conversation will likely not be the thing to change their minds."