Last fall, “in the spirit of birthday honesty,” I admitted to a very longtime friend that I didn’t want her to feel pressured to invite me to a get-together with a bigger group of friends. On Venmo, I had recently found out they were planning to see each other soon for a Halloween house of horrors and hay ride trip in a few weeks. They hadn't asked me, but I checked the dates (after some dedicated, shame-faced web sleuthing). I probably couldn’t go anyway but I couldn't help but feel left out. It would have been one of the highlights of my year to pay to be terrified with them.