There are a few people you don’t want to be at Glastonbury. The idiot who thinks it's funny to roll around in the mud on day one and then realises there's no way of getting clean. The person who only brought shorts and T-shirts because they thought it was June. The person who gets lost at the festival and huddles in a portaloo for warmth, only to wake up there the next morning. And the sober person in a crowd of people “getting bang on it” – to quote ‘Keta Ben', who camped next door to us and spent Saturday night shouting about taking ketamine and shaving his balls to make his penis look bigger… which I’m not convinced would work, but hey, I don’t have a penis and I haven’t taken horse tranquiliser, so who am I to judge?

Let’s face it, after nine hours of traffic and what feels like a trip into the fires of Mordor (too many bags, a heavy tent, and muggy temperatures), never has a can of warm cider felt better. Which is why it was this very moment that had me worried the day before leaving for Glastonbury because how could I enjoy this festival without any alcohol?

My initial Twitter search looking for people doing Glastonbury sober was met with a lot of “Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Good luck finding them!” replies. But sure enough, people also began replying to say that they had been there sober before or also would be doing it this year. One girl, Kathryn, was full of excellent practical advice like, "Try not to get too annoyed with the drunk people – it’s your choice to be sober" and "Sometimes a hot chocolate around camp just before bed is exactly what you need after a hard day's rocking."