Headline news then, this morning, Liam-Cheryl's-BF-Payne has inked a really quite large clock, with exposed gears, on his arm. The tattoo was shared by Californian tattoo artist Nikko Hurtado of the Black Anchor Collective on Instagram with the following caption: "Hey sometimes I don’t know who my clients are until after my daughter flips out about it. Was an honour tattooing @fakeliampayne from #onedirection the last few days.” Dad! Get with it!

But in all seriousness, the tattoo is bugging us out. It will now forever be four minutes to twelve in Liam Payne-land, Bernard's Watch style. The idea quite literally sets our teeth on edge.

If you think that's bad, last week former bandmate Zayn Malik appeared to have a new tattoo: a tribute to his mother inked onto the side of his beautiful, beautiful face. The good news is, we can breathe, because the tattoo was fake, and Zayn was just messing with us (to promote his new album, obv).

While Zayn's fake skull-ink was quite blatantly a heart-felt and cockle-warming tribute to his mother and Liam's new timepiece is obviously a tribute to Kantian philosophy, and an existentialist comment on how humans are forever trapped measuring our lives within the parameters of space and time, there are some other 1D tattoos, that just, well, make no sense.

So, here are the most head-scratchingly weird tattoos from our favourite boys, ranked from quite confusing to "come again?"

*For obvious reasons Niall is not being included in the roundup. Good wee lad.