During days 1 and 2, I eat exactly the same thing, afraid of deviating from the small pool of ‘safe’ food. Feeling a little more adventurous by Wednesday, I pick up an almond milk and berry smoothie on my way into work from a spin class and halfway through drinking I read the ingredients more carefully – honey. Uh oh. I feel disappointed in myself and reluctantly stop drinking. After another lunch of a lentil-based soup, my stomach is enormous. The increase of fibre in my diet has made my stomach as round, hard and as uncomfortable as if I’d eaten a watermelon. I poke it in the mirror of my work bathroom, wondering if Beyonce ever feels this way.

Tonight I venture out for dinner, feeling quite nervous about the options available. I try to convince my boyfriend to eat somewhere specialist, but he’s not for turning, so we head to a local bistro where I eat all of the bread and very little else. There are vegetarian options galore but to turn a vegetarian courgetti dish into a vegan meal means the sacrifice of a pesto and parmesan topping and despite my request it still arrives with a cheesy scattering, and without, it’s a pretty joyless plate. I look at my boyfriend eating his buttery mash and feel a genuine prickle of tears in my eyes. Feeling deeply unhappy I start to google ‘vegan junk food’ that I can gorge on when we leave. I am told by the boy that I must ‘emotionally detach myself from food’, which is easy enough for him whilst eating his pork chop. I buy a Cadbury’s Bourneville bar on the walk home and eat it before we’re even through the door with all the satisfaction of Augustus Gloop.

Day 5

I feel good. The bloat has gone, my skin is clearer and I’m realising that to eat vegan just means making smarter choices, preparing your food at home and probably never going out for a nice meal with friends again. But then, Mildreds. Thank god for Mildreds. Soho’s most popular vegetarian restaurant also makes for the best vegan dinner, no deprivation here – just beautiful, wholesome plant based deliciousness. I have a polish beetroot burger, sweet potato fries, vegan mayonnaise (how?!), a peanut butter brownie and a bottle of organic wine to myself to celebrate. Hurrah.