If you don’t make time to connect on that date night level, then you can find yourself just going through the motions. When you have three kids , or even if you only have one, the kids’ schedules are a priority, your work is a priority, everything seems to take precedence over the thing that should be the most important: your partnership, and the life you’re building together. I’ve found that we're much happier when we treat our relationship as a sacred thing, as something that needs to be worked on and treated well and given the kind of care that it should have.