You live in Tennessee these days, so you're decidedly out of the blue bubble of California. Has that opened up your eyes to anything new?

"I was raised in North Carolina. I remember, growing up there, it being a more progressive state — we almost prided ourselves on being a more progressive Southern state. I have noticed a shift, moving back to the South now. I love the South: It’s a part of me, there are things I think about growing up there that are incredible. It gave me an amazing foundation, definitely not knocking it. But I do feel like there’s work to be done in certain areas. I have noticed people automatically assume that I believe certain things, and they feel very comfortable talking to me about them. "In the past I operated on: Don’t make an argument, don’t make a scene, it’s all about being polite, let’s just avoid this conversation because it’s uncomfortable. But I’ve gotten to a place where — though I’m not going to get into someone’s face or fight — if something’s brought up, I will say how I feel, and I’ll try to listen, to understand, to start a dialog. I just don’t want to avoid those conversations anymore." Can you tell me about a specific example?

"One thing that was really upsetting to me: Someone came up to me and showed me a picture of Melania and Ivanka Trump. They were looking very dolled up — I guess what most people would consider beautiful, even though beauty is subjective. That photo was next to a picture of Hillary Clinton and Chelsea, some sort of candid photo of them with no makeup, looking like what I guess what most people would consider unattractive. And the photo said, 'Dodged a bullet.' "This man who came up to me, he was laughing and he says, 'Look at this... Right?' I knew what he meant. But I wanted to hear him explain it to me, so that he could hear it come out of his mouth. So I just said, 'I don’t understand.' And he said, 'Well look at them.' It’s like a dagger in the heart, and I said again, 'I just don’t understand. You’re going to have to explain this to me.' He said, 'Well, which ones would you rather have — the hot ones, or the ugly ones?' "I just couldn’t believe what I was hearing, or why that man thought I would think it was funny. That is inexcusable to me, because it’s not about policy, it was just, 'I would rather have my first lady be attractive and someone I want to sleep with, that is all that matters to me.' It showed me exactly why there’s work to be done — why we’re still being viewed as eye candy, or our only role is to look pretty and put on a dress, why what’s in our heads and what’s in our minds and our hearts are not valued the way they should be. "I looked at him and I said, 'I think I would rather be valued for what’s in my mind than the way that I look.' It got very uncomfortable for a second. Then he just kind of laughed it off and said, 'Well, I’m sure that’s true too,' and walked away. So when people say these things aren’t a problem, they are: This is still the mentality that a lot of people are operating on." That uncomfortable beat, when you know it's coming, is so hard.

"It is very hard, and it’s hard to contain the rage that you feel, and to have that not get in the way of your message being heard. To just sit there and take a breath and just say, very simply and directly, why you don’t agree with something instead of just calling him a name or getting angry — it’s just like teenagers. The more you get in their face and tell them not to do something and make them feel stupid or bad — they’re just going to push back more. "Sometimes it is kind of a lost cause, but if you can find a way to control that rage, reach out, and be heard instead of just barking at them and making them feel stupid and trying to just prove that you’re right — that's what I'm trying to do." That reminds me of what Meryl Streep said about bullies at the Golden Globes: to use your platform to call out what is intolerable.

"It’s about human decency and respect, and setting the bar. We’ve lowered the bar so much and normalised so many things. It’s scary, giving a certain kind of behaviour that can lead to violence, and can lead to a certain kind of determination that can lead to very dangerous situations for half of America. That’s when you have to speak up." What do you think is the role of celebrities in speaking up, especially after Donald Trump called out Meryl Streep for her awards show speech on bullying?

"Now we’re writing off celebrities speaking up as Hollywood elitism. But we’re also citizens. We’re also people. We have our own stories. I was raised by a single mom in a small apartment. We shared a bed. I’ve been working since I was 5 years old to get to where I am, and I still had my own experience. I haven’t been super sheltered or in a little bubble. "I believe in the responsibility you have if you do have a platform to speak about what you think matters. I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night, if I was going out and pretending everything is okay when it’s not. So that to me seems selfish in a way: I think it’s a silly argument to make, and an easy way to write off people using their opportunity and platform to speak about what they think matters."