I’ll admit that during the first few weekends, I freaked out if I didn’t have plans with friends and was forced to sit alone at home on a Saturday. But that was something I had to learn to cope with: being alone . That’s what the dating apps were for me — a way to distract myself from being alone. Because the more men I had in my life, no matter how fleeting they were, the more I was able to trick myself into feeling less alone. And it worked, until I’d come home from a horrible date to my empty apartment and feel totally shitty. During this time, I got extremely comfortable with the idea of being by myself. It’s something I still make time for, even though I’m back in the dating world.