With social media and more virtual mommy-groups than real life motherhood tribes, one is often thrown into a guilt trip over something petty. Usually, something that was done differently than others but due to the “anonymity” of the internet, people come out guns blazing and will ridicule and judge you over what you think is right. One then is left questioning yourself, your parenting style and and and…
This initiative is different, as it forces you to look at yourself and point out things to validate YOURSELF! And when you’re like me, it’s not an easy thing to do. So thank you Dilraz, from Mommy Dil for adding me to the Rocking Motherhood Tag Chain.
Here I take some time and reflect on how I am rocking motherhood by sharing the things I am good at, with regard to my 2 busy animals:
*Insert extended period of time, trying to think of something*
*Insert questioning whether I am rocking it after all*
*Insert wondering why the hell did I agree to this*
*Insert smacking my head, motivating myself and repeating “I am not a failure” over and over like a mantra.
Ok, here we go:
- I am rocking ensuring my boys have manners.
I often question myself of what I am doing wrong when Bunny has forgotten his manners under a rock. We enforce “please” and “thank you’s” and looking into the person’s eyes you’re talking to, not talking with a mouth full of food, and all the other “supposed to’s”. But all this enforcing at home, also makes me wonder how the 5-year-old behaves when I’m not there to enforce it. The great thing though is that I’ve received many messages and praise on what a well-mannered boy he is. Something that still leaves me wondering if they’re talking about my Bunny.
- I am rocking their health.
Typical I know. But with long, stressful days and constant up and downs and taking care of, and cleaning, and organizing, and homework and and and; frying chicken nuggets and chips is sometimes the only bit of sanity and quick-fix that I have strength for. Sometimes dinner doesn’t have a veg on the side, or a snack might just be a processed vienna (sausage) and cut up grapes. Sometimes the only exercise for the day is only the-running-mother’s-patience-thin, but thank the pope that both boys are rarely sick. So I must be doing something right; like letting them eat sand and walking barefoot. (Shock-horror to a lot of people that have seen us out and about).
- I am/was rocking their 1st year the way I wanted it.
Both boys I delivered the way I wanted to, naturally. Both boys I had in my bed and in my room, until we were ready to do the transition (Monkey is still in our room). Both boys I had breastfed (and still for Monkey) until Bunny weaned himself at 18 months. Both boys have never cried it out in any way, shape or form to get themselves to sleep. Both boys have never tasted formula in their lives, which was MY goal. Both boys have received these things from me, as I believe they are the best for my children. Some might call me a tree-hugger, but it’s what I wanted for them. And I am thankful that I had and still have the support in doing just so.
- I am rocking the way they learn about other cultures and the bigger world.
Being an expat has allowed us to give them that. Not every person will have the opportunity to learn about other cultures and traditions while living it, but our boys are. They don’t have blinkers over their eyes. They learn, take part and can appreciate ways that people different than them live. They don’t blindly follow the masses and instead, they get a deeper feeling for differences across race, culture, and religion. Even if it means they might not be able to give a straight answer to “Where are you from?”
- I am rocking as a role model.
Yes, I have a few less than desirable things that my children are picking up from me and exhibiting themselves, like lack of patience. But the good and appropriate behavior and traits I have, they are picking up too and they do follow it. One of the important ones is “Not giving up – having perseverance”. Bunny struggles sometimes with it and often will say “I can’t”, but with a little pep-talk and motivation, he’ll try again. Monkey has no stopping. He’ll fall down and get right up and try again. I hope this will help them for the rest of their lives where they’ll persist and come out on top.
- I rock at loving them unconditionally.
One is supposed to, right. But sometimes you really don’t want to. Sometimes you understand why the animal mother eats her young. Luckily I love them too much, even when I’m at the tipping point. And I tell them I love them, so they know. I even tell them that while I’m upset or cross with them…. “Yes, Mommy is angry with you right now. YES! I still love you. Yes, I can be angry and still love you at the same time.”
- I rock at not raising spoilt brats.
How? I don’t buy them treats and loads of toys every other day. I don’t give in to every single request. Want to have a full-on meltdown in the shop aisle because I refuse to buy you a whistle? Go ahead. Why? Because I believe you need to earn things. I believe there needs to be an exchange, either a good behavior or a task done or a well-deserved report. You don’t get things handed to you on a silver platter, not now as a child and most definitely not when you’re an adult.
- I rock at not taming the fire, all the time.
Although I have to constantly remind myself that they’re just tiny humans with their own personalities and that one day these spirited, self-assured little
a-holessweehearts will be great at being a leader, it does come with hard work for now. Mr. Bear calls it “not being consistent enough”, I call it “choosing my battles”. Sometimes it just makes more sense to let something slide. I don’t want my children to be anyone’s doormats. I want them to be strong leaders.
- I rock at showing them how to treat a woman (with the help of hubby, of course).
I refuse to one day be known as the mother who didn’t raise a gentleman. Our boys are taught from a young age, things like “ladies first”, respect for women, never raising your hand for a woman and that if you want to live in a castle, you need to treat a lady like a queen. Mr. Bear shows them how and I show them by accepting it.
- And now I rock at seeing my good points and not just the flaws.
Well, rocking it might be pushing it. But it’s a step in the direction. And something that I actually have shown my kids by constantly praising them for things achieved or done. Surely it will be even better when I now voice, to them, things that I am proud of, of myself.
As part of this Tag-post, and the 4 people I’ll be tagging, I’m also tagging you, all mothers, women, girls, cousins, friends, and family to search within you at least 10 things you are rocking at.
I now tag fellow mommy-bloggers:
Simone from biscuits, blooms & banter
Laura from Life with Baby Kicks
Chastin from Crazy Momma of Three
Lize Botha, to look inwards and acknowledge your powers as mothers!
Learn more about the Rocking Motherhood Tag here