(Photo Details: Subway home from the Yankee's game two years ago, back when I was actually young.)
Only seven years ago, people used to say, upon hearing that I was retired, “Wow, you are so young to be retired.”
At some point over the last seven years, that stopped happening. Maybe a couple of years ago, I’m not sure. But no one really says that anymore when I mention that I am retired.
Last year, when I was here in New York with my friend Kendra and her daughter Taylor, there was an incident on the subway. An incident. I thought it was a fluke. We were riding the Lexington Avenue Express down to The Stand comedy club--forgive me if I’ve already told you this story, that sometimes happens with us old people. As the subway pulled out of the 86th Street station, a woman--who had to be in her mid-to late-60’s--leaned past Taylor, past Kendra and said, directly to me, “Would you like to sit down?”
I looked around. She was definitely talking to me. She was offering her seat to me. She wasn’t just offering it to me, she was leaning all the way across the subway car to get my attention--around Taylor, and around Kendra--who by the way is only one year younger than I am. Did I mention, I was only 50 at the time? I was at least a decade younger than this woman.
She had some nerve.
New Yorkers are very polite in this respect. I often see someone giving their seat to a pregnant woman, a disabled person, and yes, the elderly. I’ve done it myself. But when did I become that elderly person? (Trust me, she didn’t think I was pregnant.)
I kind of forgot about this incident, even wrote it off as just a whacky New York experience, of which I’ve had many. But then two nights ago, Doug and I went down to dinner at Bond Street, a hip sushi restaurant we both love. The 6 train was under some construction this weekend, so it was not making stops between 14th Street and Brooklyn Bridge. Although we had already walked seven miles of Manhattan streets that day, we decided to walk from 14th street. That’s how young and vibrant we are.
At the restaurant, the hostess asked us to wait in the bar—our table would be ready in about 10 minutes. So we squeezed around some people and found a place out of the way of the front door and—here it comes—a young woman offered me her seat in the bar! At least this woman was actually younger than I am--by several decades. But still . . .
Last night we went to the Comedy Cellar. And after the show, we walked over to another cool Chinese restaurant that we love in the West Village.
When we used to come to New York, before we started using home exchange, we always stayed downtown. We hardly ever ventured above 14th Street. Maybe to go to a Broadway show, or to go to our favorite jazz venue in Columbus Circle. But that was it, all the action is below 14th Street: the late-night dining scene, the jazz clubs, the comedy clubs, the vibe, the buzz.
We only started staying in the Upper East Side (a neighborhood I had previously written off as too old for us) because that’s where we found home exchange partners that wanted to exchange with us for a month every year in August.
But last night, while sipping my shiso cucumber martini and enjoying the Katz’s pastrami eggroll at RedFarm, I looked around. Doug and I were the oldest people in the restaurant. By a lot. Given the chance, these people would likely offer their seat to me in the subway.
I realized that sometime over the last five years of our home exchanges to New York, it happened. We actually belong in the Upper East Side now. How did this happen? I still feel young. I still feel healthy. In fact I am healthy--my cholesterol is low, my blood pressure is low, and no, I don’t need your seat on the subway!
But there it is. I’m a person that defines healthy with words like cholesterol and blood pressure. These are terms that wouldn’t even occur to an actual young person.
So now I know, there are three phases of aging. The first phase is where you feel young because you actually are young. The third phase is where you feel old because you actually are old. And the phase in-between is where you feel young but everyone thinks you need to sit down.
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