HUMANS ON THE AUTISM SPECTRUM – ARCHIVES
“EARLY ON, I USED TO THINK OF AUTISM AS NOT A GOOD THING BUT NOW I THINK OF IT AS A GIFT. AUTISM GIVES YOU A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE ON LIFE.”
Ryan, Mentor I CAN Network
I am one of out five children and I am a mentor with the I CAN Network. I recently finished my university studies to work with young children, and someday I’d like to work in a kindergarten or childcare setting.
School was not always easy for me, especially since I am also dyslexic, but I did have some wonderful teachers who encouraged me. I didn’t know it at the time, but I was already preparing for the I CAN Network back then. Whenever someone would tell me that I couldn’t do something, it made me want to show them, Yes, I CAN! The only person who should say what I can and cannot do is me.
I am also an example of how someone can go from being a mentee in the I CAN Network to actually becoming a mentor. I was first introduced to I CAN by a teacher’s aide when I was in Year 12. Prior to I CAN, I had a small group of friends, but I didn’t always have an easy time socially. Growing up, I found a lot of the unwritten social rules to be confusing. How close should I stand? Should I be looking them in the eye? What should I talk about?
Although the thought of change and new places can make me uncomfortable, I soon found a safe place with I CAN. It felt good to be among people who really understood me, including many who shared some of my interests (art, reading Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, anime and overseas travel).
Being encouraged to develop from mentee to trainee mentor really gave a boost to my confidence. It signalled that other people recognised my leadership potential and how good I am with kids. One of my strengths is that I am open and naturally optimistic – I always see the light at the end of the tunnel. I see the good in people and I appreciate all of the things that make them unique.
There are a lot of rewarding things about being a mentor, most of all witnessing how our mentees can grow in confidence over time. I’ve seen mentees who have started our (school) sessions feeling quite disconnected and not being comfortable engaging with others. By the end of the program, they are taking part and having fun with their peers and with us mentors. We see that same magic happen at our camps, which is why I love them. It makes me feel proud that I can have a positive influence on our mentees, and that drives a lot of my confidence to try new things.
Before I joined I CAN, I didn’t really have any Autistic role models or Autistic peers. Now I am surrounded by a great community of friends and teammates from I CAN and beyond. One of my wishes for a more embracing society is one that appreciates just how different Autistic people are from each other. There’s this really unhelpful stereotype that all Autistic people are a certain way, and I can tell you that that is not true. When I look at my I CAN team, we all have vastly different personalities and profiles.
I’d also like to see society create more Autistic-friendly spaces where we can get a break or retreat for some quiet time. We often feel and perceive things more strongly than other people, and when we feel more comfortable in our surroundings, we are better able to show the world what we can do.
My involvement with the I CAN Network has taught me that it’s okay to be different. In fact, it’s more than okay; it’s a positive. How boring would our world be if we were all the same? I want to use my voice and my skills as a teacher to help create a world where we are all valued for being who we are.
I am a creative, philosophical and deeply spiritual Autistic woman who has come to an understanding of my Autism later in life. I am the proud mum to two amazing Autistic young people and three fur babies. I am very fortunate to also have a very special person in my life who makes me laugh and feel loved.
As a passionate educator, I’ve had the privilege of teaching teenagers for the past ten years. I love any opportunity that allows me to support families whilst leveraging my own lived experience of being Autistic. Historically, our voices have not been present in discussions on how to best meet Autistic support needs, but this is changing as more and more organisations recognise the immense value of our perspectives and experiences. I am very interested in, and have tremendous respect for, Autistic-led research and Autistic-led program planning.
My ten-year-old daughter told me that to her Autism means that we are “limited edition” – and there are special aspects of Autism that the others in the collection would really like to have! I identify with a strongly positive and strengths-based understanding of my Autism, whilst acknowledging that like anything that falls outside the norm, we may need to have our own “care manual” to maintain ourselves and show others what type of care we need.
I continue to use my voice to create a world that is more embracing of Autism, especially in two arenas that I hold dear: inclusive education and the health of Autistic women.
Professionally, I am working with inclusion policy on a day-to-day basis, and I often observe a gap between inclusion policy and inclusion practice in school settings. There are many reasons why this is happening, but the consequences for our Autistic students and their families are very serious. As we strive for inclusive education – including the determination of what reasonable adjustments are necessary to support Autistic students – it is so important that our Autistic voices be at the centre of the decision-making process. We know our needs best and when given the appropriate support, resources and opportunity, we can tell people exactly what we need. When our Autistic needs are respected, our diverse strengths can shine and often this is when young Autistics can find their future vocation area.
After my Autism diagnosis, I began to learn that late-diagnosed women are at a tremendous disadvantage with regards to our health and wellbeing. New research has uncovered what so many of us have experienced: that in our communication with health professionals, our voices are often misunderstood and misrepresented and our gender-specific Autistic traits are incorrectly perceived as solely related to mental health issues. This means that we are either significantly delayed in getting the correct help for our health needs, or sometimes we don’t get help at all. I want to continue to use my voice to change that, especially since recently being diagnosed with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome and Dysautonomia.
The I CAN Network has been so important in my understanding of my Autism. In the initial months after my diagnosis I was feeling a real unease and disconnect between my own positive views of my Autism and what our society says about Autism. When I heard Chris Varney’s message, though, I could recognise for the first time that here was someone else on the Autism Spectrum with whom I can identify – it felt safe and authentic. By gosh, we really need that! The I CAN Network is an integral organisation for the wellbeing of our Autistic community. I am proud to be involved both as a mentor and a speaker; we have a lot of work to do to change the way society views Autism.
It still surprises me how many people either describe or strongly imply that Autism is a terrible affliction that should be prevented and/or “cured”. I’m not suggesting there isn’t suffering, but in my experience, the suffering is caused by the lack of understanding in our society and co-existing conditions, not by Autism itself. There are compelling reasons why we need to talk about Autism in a positive way. For those of us who were diagnosed late, we need to discover what our Autism means for us and not what we may have understood about Autism prior to our diagnosis. For our young people being introduced to their diagnosis, we want to set a stage that allows them to embrace their Autistic traits unreservedly. There is nothing to be ashamed about, nothing to fear either – and Autistic adults really need to light the path for future generations. Without authentic self-identity there can be no real self-esteem. So I encourage young people to embrace ALL of their Autistic traits through an extremely positive and kind lens and from there we can build on experiences that bring hope and joy into our lives. We deserve nothing less!
I’m 18 years old. I love anything sports-related and I like collecting sports stuff, mostly things to do with FIFA and FIFA World Cup. I play cricket and football and am also a fan of soccer, basketball, cricket and football.
Autism to me means that I can really concentrate on stuff that I am very passionate about: for example, I can name every FIFA World Cup first place winner and at some editions of the FIFA World Cup, I can name the top four finalists and many of the winners in events from the Olympic Games editions. I can also name every AFL grand final winner from this century and can do the same with the FIFA World Cup, Olympic Games, FIBA World Cup and ICC Cricket World Cup. And I can name the capital city of most European countries.
To me, sport is important because if you play team sports, you get to socialise, you feel good doing it and it’s fun. Also you learn how to cope when losing and that can help in your personal life. Sport has helped my Autism because I get to socialise with people around my interest. I would encourage other Autistic students to find a sport that they love because sport brings people of all backgrounds and abilities together. Doing something you love with others who share the same interest is good for anyone.
I admire a lot of sportspeople, particularly those who have experienced hardship and come through the other side. I can relate to that because I’ve overcome stigma and negativity by being willing to have a go at everything that comes my way! If I had to name one player who really inspires me, it’s German soccer player Marco Reus. Marco originally missed out on the FIFA World Cup in 2014 and the UEFA Euro in 2016 due to injury. In the FIFA World Cup in 2018 he was Man of the Match in one of the games. In 2019 Marco now gets to captain his club side Borussia Dortmund in the Bundesliga, which is Germany’s First Division.
I admire and feel supported by a lot of people I know in real life, including my family (I get my positivity from my dad), Aquinas College and their Educational Support Staff and mentors from the I CAN Network like Max Williams, Chris Varney and Daniel Munter.
Before I became involved in I CAN, I didn’t really know anything about it and I didn’t even know much about Autism! By going to I CAN sessions, I’ve learnt about my own Autistic strengths and how I should concentrate on those rather than my weaknesses. I’ve been able to see the interests, strengths and weaknesses of other Autistic peers and my mentors and compare them with mine. The I CAN Network is important to me because it is helping to make a world that benefits from embracing Autism and focusing on what Autistics can do.
I think it’s so valuable for Autistic students to educate their peers on Autism, if they’re ready to. People might not know you’re Autistic or what Autism is unless you say something. If you’re not comfortable disclosing that you’re Autistic, I would say that’s all right, too. You should do things when you are ready.
When I disclosed at my school that I was Autistic, things got better. After I went on TV in 2017 in an ABC Lateline segment, I made more friends at school. People wanted to be my friend. I wasn’t scared of disclosing my Autism to my peers because being Autistic doesn’t really bother me. There’s nothing wrong with Autism. In fact, being Autistic makes you unique and special.
One of the biggest reasons to talk about Autism positively is so that Autistic children can grow up feeling good about themselves and so that their peers understand that being Autistic is all right. The more people who hear positive things about Autism when they are young, the better chance we have of building a world that is inclusive.
I’m 19 years old. I’m an I CAN mentor, an enthusiastic video gamer – League of Legends is my favourite – and last year I moved into my own place with four other housemates.
Growing up, I didn’t really have trouble making friends, but I did have trouble keeping them. You know that one kid who pushes a joke just a little too far or doesn’t know when to stop talking about something? That was me. Thankfully, I have some close family members who are Autistic – including my dad – so I didn’t have to look far to find people who understood me.
I was first introduced to I CAN in 2013, which was the same year it was founded, so I’ve been around since the beginning. I heard Chris Varney speak at a local support group event about his vision for I CAN school programs, and I fell in love with the idea of it straightaway. He talked about creating a model in which no one would be ignored and everyone would have a voice.
This resonated with me because my own school experience was not that great. In terms of voices, I was talked about a lot at my school – my negatives were a constant topic of discussion – but little was done to improve the situation or to highlight my positive attributes or those of other students with support requirements. In 2013, my goal as a 13-year-old listening to Chris Varney was to bring I CAN to my school and change the culture.
That part of my quest was totally unsuccessful, but what has been very successful is my personal connection to I CAN. I started attending I CAN weekend camps and over time became a camp mentor and then a school mentor. I’ve taken part in a large number of the camps that I CAN has hosted.
Because of the people in my personal network, I don’t hear a lot of the negativity about Autism that’s out there any more, though I certainly know it still exists. Many kids come to our programs with very, very negative perceptions of Autism that they’ve internalised from others. I remember one boy who came to a camp and could explode aggressively if he even heard the word “Autism”. But, two days later, he was standing up in front of his peers, giving an “I CAN talk” and telling everyone, “I’m Autistic.” That’s the power that can come when you are surrounded by peers who understand and accept you.
Our emphasis at I CAN on the strengths-based approach to Autism really makes sense. Autistics represent a big percentage of the world’s population. When society shuts us down and tells us that we are defective, it limits what we can contribute. When we are validated and believe in ourselves, we can do so much more.
Especially for Autistic kids, I think it’s important to get the balance right between genuinely building them up and not merely inflating them with hot air. Part of that process is letting them experience challenges and not always being shielded from failure. Something I tell my mentees often is that they don’t have to be perfect. Struggling is part of life’s journey. I think there’s a way that we can offer support that still empowers young people. I try to help my mentees build the ability to see their own strengths for themselves.
Still, I see a lot of students – and sometimes their families, too – looking for that validation in other forms, such as top grades or high ATAR scores. There’s already a lot of pressure for Autistic kids to get through the day socially and from a sensory perspective. When I help my students with any schoolwork, I always highlight the benefit that comes from putting in the effort and what can be learnt from making mistakes, rather than signalling that their worth is tied to a particular letter or number result.
It’s very rewarding to mentor Autistic kids and to help those who are not Autistic understand how to better support Autistic students. Every Autistic voice can help with this process, and I think it’s so important to include younger Autistic voices in these conversations. We have the most recent lived experience of the educational system. When you include and listen to our voices, you will be hearing what Autistic students need. Right now, in the school system as it currently is.
In fact, for me, one of the best parts about being involved in I CAN is that I know my voice is valued. I don’t subscribe to the pyramid approach, where voices at the top matter more than others. I view everyone at I CAN as a peer, including Chris Varney, our Founder and CEO. Even when I was 13, I never saw him as “Chris, the national leader”, and to this day, I don’t see him as “Chris, my boss”. He has always been “Chris, my mate who is a huge Star Wars head”. I respect him as a peer, and I know he feels the same way about me. We have different responsibility levels, but we are both doing the same work: building a world that embraces Autism.
I am AJ and I am 14 years old. I like public transport (buses, trains and trams), learning about the environment, and coming up with ways to stop bullying.
Autism is a different operating system and Autistic people process things differently. Autism helps me with my memory. I can remember things really well. I can remember all types of buses and where they go. I started getting into buses when I moved to Albury Wodonga. I am fascinated by buses and bus routes because the branding of buses is so unique. Dysons bus service in Wodonga allows me to visit their depot frequently and the drivers also know me very well. I’ve been helping my sister Cassie, who is 11, take the bus home. Cassie and I are the only ones in our family who catch buses.
What makes a good bus system is whether everyone can access the network. People don’t catch buses when a system is not properly organised, including when buses are not frequent enough or when there is congestion. Currently, only three quarters of the people in Albury Wodonga can access the bus network. I want to see this level increase to include everyone. I have talked to Dysons’ drivers about creating a new bus route. I even made them a map of what a new bus network could look like. The drivers were impressed. I am going to share it with the company once I finish the network map. I will show it to Martin’s (bus company) as well. So far I have finished the first stage of the network and I am almost up to the second stage.
I’ve actually been in the newspaper, which got everyone in my community excited about my bus network. It could help build up the population of Albury Wodonga even more because of jobs created. I have lots of people cheering me on because I’m unique. My strengths include remembering stuff really well, friendliness, good manners and problem solving when it comes to stopping negative behaviour. Recently there was a severe bully who was nasty to multiple students, and I was one of his targets. I came up with a 5-step strategy to deal with future offenders, with repeat offenders starting from step 2 onwards.
When people say negative things about Autism, it can really hurt and offend someone. It’s important to choose words carefully. Programs like I CAN Network were made to help people. I like being a part of the I CAN Network because I’ve met new people and have learnt new things. What I’d like to say to younger Autistic kids is: “You are not alone. You can do anything regardless of who you are and you can help make changes to our world.” A world that embraces Autism would be like a pizza with a good mix of toppings (people fully included in the group). Everyone can be different, not just those with Autism, and that’s a great thing!
My name is Kate, and I am a proud member of an Autistic family. My two children are Autistic, I am married to an Autistic man, and I was recently diagnosed myself, having recognised so much of my younger self in my children.
I don’t consider Autism a disorder. It’s a different way of experiencing the world. As an advocate, I am trying to drive the narrative for Autism acceptance and promoting authentic Autistic living; that is, being one’s true Autistic self.
As I’ve reflected upon and unpacked a lot of my childhood difficulties, I can see that they were related to being Autistic and completely misunderstood. When I was growing up, most of my teachers told me I was lazy, stupid and clumsy. I struggled to read and write and never understood academic work at school. As a result, I always had a sense that I was not intelligent and not able to tackle academics. This feeling stopped me from doing college courses and pursuing my career aspirations. I wish I could go back in time and tell my younger self, “Understand that school work is difficult not because you’re lazy or stupid as teachers often told you, it’s because you can’t learn in a standardised way. Love yourself more, be kinder to yourself and know you will find your way. Don’t ever give up on your dreams!”
Now at age 40, after finding my authentic Autistic self, I am studying a degree in psychology and counselling. Ultimately, I would like to complete my degree then move forward to further academic development, which will lead me into the specialty of Autistic females.
I am never going to experience the world as a neurotypical person, so I don’t use neurotypical social norms as guidance in my life. That would just be setting myself up to fail. Instead, I set my goals and aspirations around developing my authentic Autistic identity and being the best Autistic person I can be.
One of my strengths is that I am highly focused and totally devoted to fulfilling my goals. Over the past few years, my passion has led me to create a blog and form multiple social media platforms, including a very active Facebook page called Girls Autistic Journey-Non binary Acceptance. I am UK-based but still feel a strong connection to the I CAN Network’s mission, especially around I CAN’s mentoring and positive development for schools.
Often, the media will portray Autistic people in such a stereotypical way that people truly believe that that’s how most Autistic people are. When I am faced with negativity or misconceptions around being Autistic, which happens in real life and certainly happens online, I try to gently educate by sharing credible information and lived experiences. Thankfully, I find that most people are open to learning and understanding, though there will always be those who I cannot reach or help because they are so far down the dark hole of misinformation and fear.
I believe that positivity around Autism builds acceptance for future generations of Autistic people. We have so many wonderful qualities that deserve to be recognised and celebrated: deep focus, unique perspectives, trustworthiness and reliability, high integrity, creativity, ability to retain information, ability to maintain routines, consistency, just to name a few. By highlighting these strengths, rather than the list of so-called defects, we can help to break down stigmas and false information about being Autistic. Likewise, when Autistic young people have mentors who are positive and full of understanding, it signals to them from an early age that they are an important part of the next generation of Autistic voices. Mentors provide hopes and dreams for our Autistic children, as they are able to show them, “Look, we are Autistic, and it’s all okay!”
Everyone wants to live a life that feels right for one’s self, without fear of being ridiculed or judged or excluded by others. I think we still have a long way to go to reach a point of an inclusive society, where Autistic people don’t feel forced to mask or apologise for who we are. I dream of a world that is equal, fair and can unlock all of the wonders that Autistic people hold inside, and that’s what motivates me to keep doing my work. What is everyone waiting for?!
I am 17 and proudly Autistic. I am in Year 12 and have my own business with three employees. My passion is motorsports, and I can remember all the results from every race in the past ten years. This year is very busy with school, work, friends and my Year 12 formal coming up.
Things haven’t always been this good. I was targeted by bullies, I had trouble finding a job and I didn’t feel proud about being Autistic.
After going to an I CAN camp last year, positive things really started happening. The I CAN camp opened my eyes about Autism and it was where I found my tribe. It was nice meeting so many people like me and learning from mentors like Chris, Daniel and others. I CAN camp helped me embrace being Autistic rather than seeing it as something negative. I now choose to be very open about who I am.
I have a lot of strengths. My mum calls me “Google Maps” because I can remember every single place I’ve been. I have a great personal I CAN Network around me, including my friends, my girlfriend and my family.
I don’t think that society is truly inclusive yet, and I am starting to speak up about this more and more. When I was looking for after-school work, no one would hire me. They actually did me a favour, though, because I am now self-employed and preparing for world domination! My business, Clay’s Bin Cleaning, has so many customers that I’ve had to add more employees.
Over the past year, my business has attracted a lot of attention in the media. It’s pretty amazing being in the news, and I feel a bit like a famous person. I really hope that my story encourages more Autistic people to start their own businesses.
There are a lot of messages I would like the world to hear. The first is that it’s very important for people to talk positively about Autism because we are not burdens on society. We have so much to offer. Our different way of thinking is the reason we have the internet and SpongeBob SquarePants and so many other wonderful, innovative things. Also, please don’t limit us because we are Autistic. Instead of saying someone can’t drive a car, say that they can’t drive a car yet. We are always changing and learning. We have the capacity to achieve great things. Oh, and my mum would tell everyone to read NeuroTribes!
It makes me happy that my story can help other Autistic kids and teens. My advice to all of you would be: never stop believing in yourself and surround yourself with people who believe in you!
I’m a passionate Potterhead (sorted into the Hogwarts house of Ravenclaw on Pottermore) with a truly unforgettable brain. Literally. Not only am I Autistic, I also have an extremely rare kind of memory called HSAM (Highly Superior Autobiographical Memory). HSAM makes me unable to forget any day of my life. I was diagnosed with HSAM by neuropsychologists from the University of California, Irvine after two years of thorough tests and brain scans.
Since the age of nine I’ve been a huge fan of the Harry Potter series. Recess time at school was always difficult for me, and my teacher suggested that I read Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, which had recently been published. I was reluctant to veer from my preferred reading of atlases and other reference books, but once I entered that magical world, it immediately felt like a form of escape. Twenty years later it still feels the same way! I also learned a lot about social skills through Harry Potter by noting how he interacted with others, resolved conflict and even managed his homework!
I received my Autism diagnosis as a fifteen-year-old, and although I wasn’t surprised in the slightest, it was still a tough time for me. I had missed out on a lot of much-needed support and understanding at school that comes with a diagnosis and that negatively affected my post-school qualifications. Yet once I graduated from high school, I did my best with my therapies and giving myself my own catch-up lessons.
Blogging and public speaking – which I found so much easier than more personal and unpredictable one-on-one speaking – became a way to tell my story and connect with others. As with my love of Harry Potter, my passion for sharing my story continues to this day. It gives me a sense of pride knowing I can provide motivational support to others while also helping people understand Autism better.
I am constantly proving people wrong, especially when they have low expectations of me. For instance, two years ago I entered a local Toastmasters speech competition. After the rehearsal, another member of my club took me aside and said that due to my Autism, communication and cognitive difficulties I would never be able to win a competition – but that the losses might be a good learning opportunity for future speeches. Imagine that person’s surprise when I ended up with first place! Saturday, 28 October 2017 was a great day.
It’s very important for people to talk about Autism in a positive light because that helps those of us on the spectrum feel more accepting of who we are. The I CAN Network is fabulous because our core purpose is to focus on what Autistic people CAN do instead of on our difficulties. Since I joined the I CAN Network as a speaker/mentor in March of 2017, my life and confidence have changed immensely. For years, I had been struggling to find work and that really affected how I saw myself. When I discovered the I CAN Network, it was such a blessing. Firstly, I was so happy that I could say to everyone, “I’m employed!” However, perhaps the greatest benefit of all was being able to connect with other people like me, learn from them and give advice of my own in an environment where I fit in so easily. I’ve made some wonderful new friends and my social circle has branched out considerably.
Due to HSAM, I remember and relive my past from various ages constantly, so there are many things that I would love to tell my younger self. Most importantly, I would tell her that life gets so much easier when you enter adulthood. Once we complete our education at school, we’re able to take a path that is much more our own. Life too isn’t linear; just because one thing doesn’t work out it doesn’t mean that we won’t achieve what we desire in another way in the future. Also, we grow and even mature through our life experiences. Often what we truly desire will change slightly over time.
I can remember nearly every past day of my life, but if I had the ability to look into the future, I would like to see a world that truly embraces Autism. For me, that vision would be a world in which Autism is viewed as a normal part of life and that every human on the Autism Spectrum would be viewed as different, not less. Whether we are wizards, muggles or anything in between, everyone should be valued as important members of this world and every person should be accepted as equals.
I’m Kyal. I’m Autistic, dyslexic and for the past three years, I have mentored hundreds of Autistic students through the I CAN Network. I am also a huge history buff. I love contemplating things like “Why did the Roman Empire fall?” and what we can learn from that period in time. Even though school was not easy for me, I’ve always had the hunger to learn more.
My own personal history includes a really dark period. For most of my school years, I was totally misunderstood inside the classroom – my teachers simply believed that “Kyle needs more discipline” – and I suffered social abuse and violence at the hands of my peers. I was very angry and filled with self-doubt.
There’s a lot of garbage floating around about Autism, and garbage is what sticks unless someone offers a more accurate and compelling view. It’s really important that people – especially Autistic young people – see examples of self-pride, confidence and success. If we don’t know what these things look like, it’s hard to know how to get there.
A big turning point came when my mum helped me transfer schools to a place where negativity wasn’t accepted, the amazing staff believed in me, and the bullying stopped. I got involved in drama and video production, which helped me start to move outside my negative headspace, see that I was good at something and that I was worthy of having friends.
The other big turning point in my personal history was getting connected with the I CAN Network in 2016. I often tell people that “I CAN gave me my ‘me’ back.” At I CAN, we prove that Autistics CAN run the business, CAN influence the education system, CAN be great communicators, CAN make an impact on how young people see themselves and CAN change the way society views Autism.
If I could go back in time and tell my younger self something, it would be “You are going to be OK. You are going to find a place where you feel safe.” My personal I CAN Network – my mum, my partner, my grandparents, my I CAN teammates and of course my mentees – makes me feel safe and continues to give me the confidence to take on life.
When I was younger, I didn’t see any benefit in being different. Now I see Autism as a strength, especially when society is willing to make adjustments to support us. My world is noisy and vibrant, and I can’t imagine being any other way. If someone offered me a magic pill to make me “normal”, I would tell them where they could stick it! Many of the greatest innovations and creations in our history have been shaped by Autistics. But even if we aren’t the next Leonardo da Vinci, we all have something unique to contribute. Our world would be much duller without Autism!
For anyone who wants to help make our world better for Autistics, here is my advice: seek out primary sources, just as you would if you were studying history. When it comes to Autism, the primary sources are people who are Autistic. Get in touch with I CAN, follow Autistic bloggers, connect with Autistics in your community. Ask questions, keep asking questions, challenge the stereotypes, move outside your comfort zone, learn more so that you will know and understand more. We’re all in this together, and we still have work to do to make our world more inclusive.
When I think about what a world that embraces Autism would look like, I can’t help but consider it in terms of history. My greatest wish is that someday soon, when I am telling my mentees about my experiences growing up, they will have no point of reference. I hope they will say, “Wow, Kyal, you must have grown up in the Dark Ages”, because things like low expectations, bullying and negativity surrounding Autism will be totally extinct.
I am a proud non-binary Autistic advocate. I am the founder and owner of my own business, and enjoy presenting and mentoring. I am currently studying a Bachelor of Speech Pathology with the hope of providing animal-assisted therapy for Neurodivergent individuals. I have a very special connection with animals. I have always been drawn to them and relate to them more strongly than humans.
Autism is my life. Autism makes up who I am and so many of my friends and loved ones. Autism has gifted me with greater connectedness to the world around me and a voice for animals and others like me. Whilst there are challenges that come with this, ultimately my sensitivities give me unique insights on life that I have been able to turn into my strengths.
I am very lucky to have a huge support network, which includes the mentors and friendships I have made through the I CAN Network. Autistic mentors have been so important in helping me see my potential and worth and in making me feel less abnormal and alone. I have an amazing mother who continues to support me and advocate for me in those moments when I cannot, and encourages me to stand up for my rights and follow my dreams. My grandfather has helped me learn to believe in myself and was my main inspiration for becoming an Autistic advocate. I also have a pretty eclectic and wonderful friendship circle, full of outcasts, Neurodivergent individuals, and the occasional Neurotypical.
I gravitate towards those who embrace who I am and who listen to our tribe and our voices. I surround myself with positive like-minded people and try to contribute what I can. I hope that this will create a flow-on effect and reach the right people. I share I CAN’s belief that a better world is possible and achievable, but I also think society still has a long way to go before it is truly inclusive of Autistics.
I believe most people are aware of Autism, but the question is, do they understand it, and, most important of all, do they accept it? Ironically, despite some claims that Autistics are not very empathetic, I believe society at large should try more to put themselves in our shoes and understand what it feels like to be in an oftentimes noisy and overwhelming world. We only have to look at the low employment rates of Autistic people to see that there needs to be more understanding of our strengths as well as our difficulties, and how valuable we can be if we are included in the workplace environment.
If I could give my younger self – and all Autistic young people out there – one piece of advice, it would be: love yourself. Self-acceptance and self-love are some of the most vital things to develop. As Autistics, we are going to face challenges, often significant ones, but if we believe in ourselves and our self-worth, we can achieve truly great things. Sometimes life is painful, but life can also be rewarding and exciting.
For parents, teachers and other influential people in our lives, my message is this: it’s really important to highlight our strengths and give hope to us Autistic young people. Demonstrating the positive aspects of Autism helps us accept and love our Autism and have a positive Autistic identity. This is vital for our mental health. We already know how we struggle, so it is far more helpful to show where we can succeed and what ways we can contribute to society.
And lastly, if I could deliver one take-home message to the world: Please listen. We all have our individual perspectives of Autism, and there is often a lot more that occurs under the surface. We want to be heard. We want to be loved. We want to and deserve to be included. Every step is a step, great or small. This could be as simple as allowing us to use technology in the classroom, providing sensory spaces, or working out what mode of communication suits us best. You find us in all walks of life and at all ages – we are students, artists, scientists, teachers, parents, and more. Please listen to our voices.
Kristy, Lijy’s Mum: Everyone communicates. In raising Lijy, I’ve really come to appreciate that there is so much more to communication than spoken words. Lijy has a gift of warmth and love. The way he expresses these things takes my breath away. That’s not just a proud mum’s opinion either!
In the words of almost everyone who meets him, Lijy is an absolute joy. He loves life in a way that is quite contagious. People cannot help but smile when they watch him for more than a few minutes. He also has many varied struggles, but he happily laughs, flaps and spins his way through life. He adores nature, and we are convinced that he communicates with the trees, ocean, birds and other animals.
Lijy is a skilful gymnast (especially on the trampoline), has amazing memory, attention to tiny detail, and a love for numbers and music. When all other means of communication aren’t working for him (e.g., hand over hand, PECS, communication device with the LAMP program), music is something that never fails. He seems to learn best through music, which appears to be his language. He has songs to wake up to, songs to get ready for school, songs for the drive in the car, songs to help transition from place to place and the most important of all – bath time and bedtime songs.
Everyone who knows and works with Lijy believes he does understand far more than any of us realise, and we believe wholeheartedly that one day he will find the best way to convey his thoughts to others. In the meantime, we will keep following his lead and trying to learn from him.
To me, as a parent, Autism is an intrinsic part of who Lijy is and that is a beautiful thing. I would not want Lijy to be anyone other than exactly who he is. Autism means that Lijy sees and experiences the world differently to me, and I give thanks daily that he is patient enough to try to share his view with me.
Sadly, outside of our wonderful bubble of accepting friends, family and teachers, I don’t think society as a whole is very inclusive yet. Often when we are out and about, we get looks of judgement, harsh words and a complete lack of understanding. It saddens me as a parent, but I am comforted by the fact that Lijy appears to be completely confident and proud of the fact he is Autistic. Everything about the way he carries himself yells “I am proud and nothing you say or do can bring me down!”
We hear negative language around Autism and other disabilities all the time. It’s time for people to realise that disability and Autism are not dirty words. We need to flip the narrative. Yes, there can be a lot of difficulties; most of these happen because society doesn’t provide the right support and understanding.
Autism should not be feared but embraced. When Lijy was diagnosed, the most common phrases I heard were “he can’t” and “he will never …” Now we know that, with the right support and mindsets, he can and maybe someday he will!
That’s why we love the I CAN Network. They not only support Autistic young people in such a powerful way but educate and encourage society as a whole to understand the strengths that come from Autistic minds. With all of the talk of deficits that typically surrounds Autism, I CAN is like a breath of fresh air! I can’t wait for Lijy to be old enough to take part.
If people reading this want to make our world more inclusive for Lijy and other Autistics, the first step is being more open to listening to Autistic voices from all different backgrounds. And if you really want to have a broader appreciation of what Autism is and how amazing the community can be, seek out lots of Autistic friends! Ever since my son was diagnosed, I have surrounded myself with his tribe. I am so much better for it. I believe Lijy is too, as I have a better understanding of how he sees the world and how I can help support him to be the best he can be … though he is doing a pretty awesome job all by himself!