“People gave me a label I never gave myself and got mad when I didn’t fit into it. My energy has always been extremely fluid between masculine and feminine so that’s why I use ‘queer,’ and also, queer is inclusive to non-binary people. But I still prefer and am totally fine with the pronoun ‘she.’ ”Kehlani
Welcome back to yet another Gaydar Feature of the Month! Today we are featuring a bright and talented artiste, Kehlani. Keep in mind that their pronouns are they/them!
Born April 24th 1995, they started their career pretty early in life. Early in their life, Kehlani aspired to train as a dancer at the Juilliard School, but they had a knee injury in junior high, which led them to turn their attention towards singing.
At the young age of 14, they joined a band called Poplyfe, but left the group to compete in the 6th season of America’s Got Talent, where by the way, they were ranked fourth in the competition! But after facing a few problems with contract agreements, they slumped back to homelessness. They even started selling stolen iPhones and shoplifted to make ends meet, while sleeping on couches and on the streets.
Their career started to bounce back when Nick Cannon, the host of America’s Got Talent found their solo track “ANTISUMMERLUV” on Soundcloud, and offered them a place to stay in LA. While in LA, Cannon gave them studio time and it actually kickstarted their album, Cloud 19. A song they released in late 2014, “Till the Morning” was placed by Billboard as one of the “Emerging Picks of the Week” on November 7, 2014. In 2015, Kehlani opened for American rapper G-Eazy on the second leg of his ‘From the Bay to the Universe’ tour. Since then, it only got better for them.
Their songs are usually highly influenced by their time growing up in their aunt’s place, as their aunt used to give them a lot of RnB records to listen to. They kept making RnB music, even going as far as collaborating with other people, from Zedd to Ty Dolla $ign, and even Justin Bieber. Kehlani’s music got increasingly influential, and who doesn’t love good RnB tunes, right?
Kehlani came out as a lesbian through the song “Honey”, which is absolutely dreamy and romantic. The lyrics “I like my girls like I like my honey, sweet, a little selfish” led fans to make assumptions about Kehlani’s preferences in love. Much to everyone’s surprise, they did eventually clarify through a tweet, “You want to know? You want to know what’s new about me? I finally know I’m a lesbian,” In response to the news, one user cheekily wrote, “I volunteer to be Kehlani’s wife.”
While Kehlani has long identified as queer and pansexual, they have also resisted restrictive labels of gender or sexuality. In an interview with DIVA magazine last year, the artist said they found it frustrating that, following the release of “Honey,” fans made assumptions about their orientation.
“People gave me a label I never gave myself and got mad when I didn’t fit into it,” they said, adding, “My energy has always been extremely fluid between masculine and feminine so that’s why I use ‘queer,’ and also, queer is inclusive to non-binary people. But I still prefer and am totally fine with the pronoun ‘she.’ ”
Kehlani first addressed their sexuality publicly back in 2018, after kissing Demi Lovato on stage during a performance of the song “Lonely.”
“I have a lot of privilege,” Kehlani says of the advantages they have as a “cisgender-presenting, straight-presenting” person in a world and industry this is still very heteronormative.
The mom and musician adds, “I think a lot of artists who we talk about and say, ‘Oh, they had to come out or they had to do this,’ a lot of them can’t hide it. A lot of it is very [much] in how they present. It’s tougher for them. It’s tougher for trans artists. It’s tougher for Black gay men. It’s tougher for Black masculine gay women.”
Kehlani came out on Twitter in 2018, but told the magazine that they never felt the need to do so in their private life.
“Beyond even being celebrated, we get so much education from one another,” Kehlani says about the current generation of more open and free musical artists. “There are so many people willing to have conversations where people who don’t understand can potentially understand. So many people are willing to have teachable moments. That’s awesome because a lot of…hurt and anger in the past generations have been rooted in truly not understanding or not having access to educational moments.”
Outside of the music industry, the singer says they learned the most from the women in their life, fans and transgender friends who are navigating the gender spectrum daily.
And there we have it, brave, talented, beautiful yet astounding Kehlani, if we can take one lesson from this blog today, it’s to never judge or try to stereotype a person, especially putting labels on them that we don’t even know the truth about. Let people enjoy and explore their sexualities and gender identity in their own way.
That’s it for this month’s episode of Gaydar! Keep supporting Kehlani and her works!