Binary Collisions of Dark Matter Blobs
  We describe the model-independent mechanism by which dark matter and dark
matter structures heavier than $\sim 8\times 10^{11}$ GeV form binary pairs in
the early Universe that spin down and merge both in the present and throughout
the Universe's history, producing potentially observable signals. Sufficiently
dense dark objects will dominantly collide through binary mergers instead of
random collisions. We detail how one would estimate the merger rate accounting
for finite size effects, multibody interactions, and friction with the thermal
bath. We predict how mergers of dark dense objects could be detected through
gravitational and electromagnetic signals, noting that such mergers could be a
unique source of high frequency gravitational waves. We rule out objects whose
presence would contradict observations of the CMB and diffuse gamma-rays.
