J. Pierpoint Morgan used to say that a man always has two reasons for everything that he does: a good reason and the real reason. The same, by all accounts, must be true for women.
So now we come to the nub of the question: What is a good reason for your child passing the Eleven Plus and is it different to the true reason?
The object of the following assessment is tried to bring truth to the surface. A low score does not mean that there is a problem and equally a high score does not mean that all is well.
1. Do you realise that your child is a separate individual and may not have the same attitude towards the Eleven Plus as you have?
2. Are you quite certain that you really listen to your child?
3. Do you exercise control over your bright eleven year old child or do you allow dialogue?
4. Do you allow your child a full and free opportunity to be able to offer an opinion – or are you most often correct?
5. Have you recently praised anything your child has done?
6. Do you refrain from criticising your child in front of others?
7. Are you deeply concerned that your child should have a good opinion of you?
8. Can you talk frankly with your child or do you do you pass over the opportunity?
9. Do you try to have some form of recreation that you and your child enjoy?
10. Are you willing to allow your child some freedom?
Give yourself a score from 0 to 10 on each question.
If you reach 100 then you may need to think again.
If you only reach 10 you may be too hard on yourself.
When you have completed your sums ask your Eleven Plus child to give you a score on the questions.
Be kind to each other!