rldview, making us feel unsafe and hyper-vigilant. But, a therapist who acts as a kind of positive “parental figure” can help clients calm their over-reactive amygdala response, which otherwise would interfere with perception and new learning.
“Successful therapists learn to be ‘amygdala whisperers’ by leveraging the social brain in order to help clients face their fears,” writes Cozolino.
Therapists makes use of our basic human need for connection, understanding, and belonging—needs that are hardwired in us. By creating a relationship where clients can feel safe enough to let go of misperceptions of themselves and others and to try out new behaviors, therapists open the door for clients to discover and accept a more nuanced view of themselves and their situation, which aids them in healing.
“In listening to our clients, we reflexively analyze their narratives for inaccurate, destructive, and missing elements,” writes Cozolino. “We then attempt to edit their narratives in a manner we feel would better support their adaptation and wellbeing.”
Some of the tools used in psychotherapy—uncovering unconscious patterns of thought and behavior, story-telling to create a healing narrative for one’s life, unconditional positive acceptance, and reinforcement for positive change—can alter patterns of thinking in clients, and ultimately their brain chemistry, for the better. And, because of neuroplasticity—or the brain’s ability to change in response to experience—a client’s neural patterns can become less reactive and more adaptive, resulting in less stress and healthier responses to challenging situations.
Though Cozolino’s book is aimed primarily at therapists, it’s an interesting read for anyone who has wondered about the mechanics of therapy and why it seems to work, no matter the therapeutic approach. He believes that the essence of therapy is “to connect with our clients in an exchange of emotions and information,” so that, “like neurons, we send and receive messages from one another across a synapse—the social synapse.”
In other words, therapists need to be aware of the fact that humans are social animals, uniquely primed to respond to social cues, and use that to advantage. Simply providing a positive relationship, where clients feel heard and valued, might be as important for healing as any possible approach to therapy. And, that’s good news.
“Fortunately for us, the same evolutionary processes that gave rise to the sources of our emotional suffering also provided us with the tools to heal: our abilities to connect, attune, and empathize with others,” he writes.