ne they’d selected and didn’t know, subjects were questioned on their expectations. They were asked to guess how interesting they would find their conversation partner to be and how interesting they thought their partner would find them.
After the conversations ended, subjects were again questioned, this time about how interesting they found their partner and how interesting they felt their partner had found them.
An analysis of their responses revealed that, yes, the liking effect is not just something that happens in the unnatural environment of the lab. Interestingly, in this case, it existed both before and after the experiment, with researchers finding that, “when anticipating a future conversation, participants underestimated how interesting their conversation partner would find them. This mistaken belief persisted — and indeed was magnified — after participants actually talked to their conversation partner.”
Study 5: Does the Liking Gap Persist Over Time?
In this final test about the persistence and long-term effect of the liking gap, 102 first-year college students — 49.5 percent female and 50.5 percent male — participated in a year-long study looking into “how relationships normally develop.”
They were questioned at the beginning of the study and then four other times over the course of the year regarding from one to four people in their dorm area. Of the other people, they were asked:
- “How much do you like [name of suite mate]?”
- “How interested are you in getting to know [name of suite mate] better?”
- “How interested are you in becoming better friends with [name of suite mate]?”
- “How interested are you in spending more time with [name of suite mate]?”
They were also asked how they thought they were perceived:
- “How much do you think [name of suite mate] likes you?”
- “How interested do you think [name of suite mate] is in getting to know you better?”
- “How interested do you think [name of suite mate] is in becoming better friends with you?”
- “How interested do you think [name of suite mate] is in spending more time with you?”
Concerningly, when the results were analyzed, says the study, “The liking gap persisted over short, medium, and long conversations and even over the course of a year, as suite mates developed new relationships.” This means that first impressions really do matter, in the sense that they help us develop habits regarding how we feel about others and how they feel about us.
What are we supposed to do with this information?
When you find yourself wondering how you’re seeming to a person you’re just meeting, take comfort in the fact that they probably aren’t paying that much attention to you — they’re too busy wondering what you think of them. The best strategy? You might try just relaxing and having a good time meeting someone new.