We all feel shame at one time or another. We’re moulded to tread the fine line between right and wrong carefully. In many ways, shame illustrates our humanity; it encourages us to admit our wrongdoings, to apologise and to try and make amends. Shame should more of a stepping stone than a heavy boulder. But there are many things we should never have to apologise for, even if society deems it unacceptable. We shouldn’t ever feel ashamed of how much money we have, where we live or what we do for a living. We shouldn’t ever feel ashamed of our friends or family. We shouldn’t ever feel ashamed of the past or how we feel. We shouldn’t ever feel ashamed of who we are, no matter how many quirky, flawed parts dwell inside us. This kind of shame should be a rock we toss in the water. Don’t let shame tear you apart. Let it go and just be you.
For fear of appearing weak and inferior or to inflict punishment and guilt onto someone, passing responsibility and placing blame on others is a part of our human nature. Sometimes we blame other people for both our own problems and their problems and other times we cannot let go of the blame and the guilt we place on ourselves. But where does blame really get us? Sure, it satisfies our first moments of anger, frustration and feeling upset. But if blame leads to grudges or internal punishments that we can never pay enough time for, where will we end up? Blame means living in the past. Blaming others means avoiding the problem and therefore ignoring the solution. Blaming ourselves means dwelling on the problem rather than focusing on the solution. Blame means hanging onto negativity. We might never be able to forget the issue, but we can live with it. Accept responsibility. Accept your mistakes and learn from them. Apologise and rectify. Change. Accept apologies. Leave behind that which hurts you. Become stronger. Move on and be free.