viewed family and marriage traditions. Men and women continued to get married, have families and have children. And they continued to have all of the same difficulties that the families were facing for centuries. Here is how Punneet Bedi describes these difficulties in his article titled “The hypocrisy of marriage”
Marriage demands abstinence from extra marital sex for either spouse, but the desire is so strong that marriage vows are often broken. Like all moral codes, marriage rules are generally hypocritical. Moral wrong doing, sexual infections or unwanted pregnancies may be the reasons for some, but the fear of breaking a marriage by betrayal is the most common deterrent. Like most things pleasurable but forbidden, extra marital sex is sought when one is sure that one will not be caught.
As stated in the above article although it is common for people to feel occasional urge to stick a relationship outside of their marriage, very few actually choose to follow up on that urge. Prior to the development of internet pornography, a person had to go through a lot of trouble to get involved in any sort of external sexual activity. In order to get a prostitute, engage in affair, or even go to a strip club an individual had to take a risk of being caught and exposed. With pornography being marketed as a healthy behavior, many people turned to it to satisfy their sexual desires. A trip to a shop that sold pornographic material still has proven to be a relatively dangerous activity, with a risk of being noticed by family members or friends. All of this has changes with the development of the internet technology. Man and women no longer had to risk an embarrassing exposure in order to get their access to pornography. Now they could watch an unlimited amount of obscene material from the comfort of their home. They could even get involved in the “harmless” internet sex with the help of video cameras. Here is an example of just one of these cases from Dr’s Schneider and Weiss book “Cybersex Exposed”
Jack, the oldest of four children, became the “man of the house” at age eleven, when his father left his mother for a younger woman. Jack’s mother took on two jobs in order to feed the family, leaving Jack largely responsible for his three siblings… Jack was very much “parentified,” meaning that at times he was needed to be more the parent than the child. After college, Jack married Susanna, a very dependent young woman, and continued his pattern of feeling responsible for other’s happiness. Several years after his wedding, he became involved with a secretary at work. The affair provided a haven from his responsibilities and gave him a chance to experience intrigue, excitement, and just plain fun, something with which he’d had very little experience. After a year, however the secretary…told Susanna about the affair. Susanna’s response was uncharacteristically independent: she divorced him.
When Jack got married for the second time, he told doubting buddies, “I mean it, this time no extramarital secret life.” One wedding present, a home computer, gave Jack entry to a whole new world – the Internet. Unknown to his friends and new spouse, Jack was involved nightly in three different online affairs, had downloaded more than 1200 pornographic images … and was spending fifteen to twenty hours a week in sexual chat rooms …- all of this secret from his wife and accessed from his study at home.
Before their marriage, Jack and his second wife, Jody, has enjoyed healthy sexual relationship, but gradually, as Jack’s hidden Internet life became more arousing to him than sex with his wife, he grew more detached and withdrawn… Jack justified his activities by telling himself, “I’m not actually cheating. I’m not having real sex with anyone else… I am just having some fun, and no one is being hurt.” He told Jody that his heavy work schedule … were so draining that he was just not interested in sex for the time being. (Schneider, Weiss, p2-3)
Clearly Jacks use of pornography can hardly be classified as “healthy”. Nevertheless the fact that pornography was