We all get angry, right? I mean, can you even think of one person who doesn't get angry at least once a year. The emotion of anger is just like any other emotion. We feel it, we know that it exists, and it can be used to motivate us to do something positive or negative. Our response is often dictated by what we think about that caused us to be angry in the first place. As people, we typically operate from a set of values or beliefs that will play a huge role in how we interact day to day with the rest of society. So when something happens that doesn't sit right with us, the emotion we might end up feeling is anger.
Most people do not know how to manage this emotion. It tends to be strong, and we often simply give in to it, allowing it to do the damage it will when not kept in check. It can impact our relationships in damaging ways, our jobs can be affected , it can drive people to commit crimes, and it can make us emotionally and physically sick. All of these are negatives, and as such we need constructive ways of handling this emotion effectively.
Some of the effective strategies that come to mind as effective coping mechanisms is taking a moment to breathe and relax when we find ourselves angry. Slow deep breathes from the diaphragm, in the through the nose and out through the mouth. At least five or six times spanning about a full minute. During this time, you want to relax your muscles in your arms and hands, rotating your shoulders slowly and gently clockwise and then counter-clockwise. What you are doing is releasing all the negative energy on the inside in a passive way that won't get clogged in your psyche. Another approach is in finding places where you can de-stimulate your mind. This might be a park, or a beach. Places where calm and serenity exist. Reading books on anger management can also be effective, as can counseling when needed.
The emotion of anger is one that is not like the others we experience. It can be as destructive as an uncontrolled fire. We need to monitor it and control it just like a fire, or we fall victim to its will. Another element to this observance is that we are each responsible and accountable for the things we say and do. So if we allow ourselves to simply blow up at everything around us, we will be seen as someone who cannot control themselves. Yet if we learn to manage our emotions in constructive healthy ways, we will learn better coping skills and even become more resilient.
Counseling services can also be beneficial in dealing difficult emotions - or even the events surrounding the emotions. Its stressful to keep everything in check all the time. One may feel like there is no healthy outlet to any of it. Yet such an assertion is simply not true. You can learn to manage your emotions better, and to respond effectively, and constructively. Much of my work with clients has been in the area of anger management and the development of personal self-control. To learn effective coping strategies, we often have to try new things, and do some other existing things much differently. Clients who have come to me for help in dealing anger learn some useful skills and find more effective approaches to dealing with emotions that they find challenging. Those who put forth the effort to change, experience a deeper sense of joy and serenity. If you are in need of assistance with this or any other issues, please feel free to connect with me. I would be happy to help you.
Shawn Thomas Berthel M.S., is the owner of Life Path Counseling PLLC, and a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor. He lives in University Place, Washington.