 with him for years to come. Any names books or counsellors or associations that could help her manage this emotionally.|
|Frightened Posted: 28/07/2006 03:29|
|I got some warning signs alright from an ex-boyfriend before he beat me up one night. If I looked at any man in the pub he used to cup his hand under my chin and pull it back to make me look at him again. Then he would redden up and glare in the direction that I was looking in. His fists would clench and he would whisper things like, "Don't do this to me or You only belong to me. Never forget that." When he went to the counter to get a drink he would keep looking back at me winking to hold my attention. When we walked along the street he would pull me really tightly to him as though he never wanted to leave me go but sometimes he would dig his fingers in my shoulder and hurt me. If I protested he would start kissing me all over my face and hair. He had very few friends and rarely spoke to anyone when I was with him and he used to tell me to avoid my own friends. One day when I went to meet him I saluted a neighbour of mine, stopped and had a little joke with him. When I went up to my ex he told me to go away and that he didn't want me anymore. I asked him for an explanation but he was in a foul mood and just started shouting at me to go away. I couldn't understand his reaction at all and tried my best to bring down his bad mood. He was walking a good way in front of me so I continued to call out to him. Then all of a sudden he raced back towards me and started kicking and punching me in the legs and stomach. Then he went for my head and kept hitting it for what seemed like an eternity. Finally he let go and walked away. I don't know how I got home and I don't even know if someone was with me. I have no memory of the rest of that day. All I can remember was that I thought my head was going to fall off. I think that there is only one way to deal with these people. Gather a family or neighbourhood together. Leave him see how many people are against him. That's what I did.|
|drinkersdaughter Posted: 18/08/2006 13:02|
|what about mothers who let their husbands abuse their children and then tell the abuser how wonderful he is and how the children are so ungrateful for all the sacrifices(none) that they made!! Why encourage them then the husband says to the mother that the children are the way they are because she is a bad mother .. belittling her and fusrtating the mother against the children . It is sad but true. They would go to lengths lying to their friends even to vcover the situation blaming all others and all other factor but the real problem ALCOHOLIC BULLY|
|Mary Posted: 18/08/2006 14:01|
|Perhaps there are a number of factors involved in this The mother is afraid of the father. She depends on him financially both for herself and her children. She's also afraid oif what she percieves as publich shame which is why she tries to cover it up.|
|drinkersdaughter Posted: 18/08/2006 14:43|
|I know that there are factors that come into play and it was not financial in this case, fear certainly did. There was a place to go to so it was not like she was trapped with no money and no alternative.|
|drinkersdaughter Posted: 18/08/2006 14:49|
|And is hiding domestic violence better or justifiable because of percieved public shame?? Causing mental damage and physical damage to a child which has lasting effects and different effects on individuals than doing what comes naturally to a mother and protecting her offspring her babies? I see your point Mary and I know where you are coming from but honestly the results are too devestating on each sibling, plus she can't be that afraid of public shame as he chased us out of the house into the street more than once. jumping on the bonnet of the car and spitting like a wild animal.. Honestly and this in a very respectable southside estate!|
|Mary Posted: 18/08/2006 15:02|
|is hiding domestic violence better or justifiable because of percieved public shame? Oh absolutrely not. I am not defending violence in any way just sugesting excus