 domestic violence - AT ALL. This is one area where the abuser lashes out and all it takes is the abuser to make the quarrel and the cause the violence as their victim is not to blame. As for admiring a mans restraint - what would you have expected him to do. In ANY instance where an adult lashes out, except in cases of self defence - there is NO justification for it. The idea of a man resorting to physical violence and using the excuse that it's to prevent verbal aggression is nothing short of PATHETIC. The correct and only response is to WALK AWAY. As for blaming the victims attitude (resentment and ridicule) for the violent actions of another - for which there is NEVER justification, frankly this is nothing short of sick and akin to blaming rape victims for their aggressors actions. It is precisely this type of attitude that excuses violence. Learnign to relate to your partner is very important but why should any woman or man have to relate to an abuser? The only relating required there is a barring order IMO
|Lou Posted: 16/02/2009 11:23|
"I really admired the men's restraint" - what are you sayin Dorothee? That these men are to be commended for resisiting the urge to hit their wives? That wives who are beaten somehow "ask for it" because they might nag their partners? Get real.
|Lou Posted: 16/02/2009 11:25|
"As long as women show their disappointment in their husbands by resentment and ridicule they tip the balance to aggression - and they should become aware of their role." - I nearly dont believe this woman!
|Patricia Posted: 16/02/2009 21:13|
Abuse of any kind is NOT to be tolerated, and that includes not just physical violence, (which is always the most evident, so to speak), but emotional and mental, and verbal, abuse.
There is absolutely NO excuse for striking another person, or for demeaning, verbally abusing, psychologically abusing (in fact the latter leaves scars which never heal).
Episodes of aggressive outbursts resulting in either destruction of property or physical assaults on others. Typically, this problem results in legal problems as well, because the individual is often charged with assault, or a domestic violence charge.
Loss of control is an essential feature of this disorder. The individual, usually male, has had several incidents of losing control of anger, resulting in aggressive acting out, either by assaulting others, or destroying property. The degree of aggression is always out of proportion to any precipitating factors that might be present (within an argument, for example). Typically, these individuals will not take responsibility for their loss of control, instead blaming the victim, other circumstances in their life, or some third party who may have told them something or said something that "caused" their uncontrolled anger. Lack of control is a central part of the problem, and inability to accept responsibility for the aggression helps to alleviate guilt. It also prevents the individual from making any changes.
|puppylove Posted: 19/02/2009 15:48|
I have always said any man who abuses a woman is a total coward.
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