 if your baby gives you a signal that there is something else you can do to help.
We are often tempted during this kind of crying to shake or pat a baby vigorously to get them to stop. This can be disturbing and even dangerous for a baby.
It is important to remember that it is not your responsibility to "stop" your baby’s crying. It is, however, important that you try to be as attentive and responsive to your baby’s feelings as possible.
While it sounds like it would be relatively easy to figure out which of these two kinds of crying is happening, it is often not clear until you try several different responses. You don’t need to expect yourself to know right away which kind of crying your baby is doing. One of your best strategies is simply educated guessing or "trial and error."
The other challenge for new parents is that they often feel exhausted and overwhelmed. They have just made a major life change and are most likely doing it on limited and interrupted sleep. Their days are taken up with all of the details of caring for and getting to know a new baby. It is difficult to decode your baby’s communication system on top of all that.
Part Three: Learn 10 ways to comfort your baby
10 ways to calm your baby -- and help her develop a sense of trust
1. Respond to her cries in a variety of ways. Often a parent discovers one way of responding that makes the baby stop crying and then they continue to use only that method every time the crying starts. Infant specialist Magda Gerber reminds us that when a baby is crying, you can ask the baby what the crying is about. Obviously, babies won’t be able to tell you in words, but by really paying attention to the baby's signals and trying different responses you can eventually figure it out.
Since babies cry for different reasons, the same solution won’t be appropriate each time. Interestingly, if you just respond one way (for instance, by feeding your child) your child may come to believe that food is what she is crying for and may learn to use food as a way to comfort herself anytime in her life that she is upset.
2. Give your baby some space. Try giving your baby plenty of time when she is not in any carrier or other confined space. Put her on her belly (when awake and active) on a blanket and let her experience moving. Some babies really enjoy doing this without clothes and diaper.
3. Talk to your little one. If she fusses, come close and in a gentle voice talk to your baby and reassure her. You can also sing to her or play some music.
4. Touch her. You can touch your baby without always picking her up. If she is on a blanket on the floor, you can sit or lay down next to her and gently touch or rub her body.
5. Wrap her up. Alternately, some babies prefer to be wrapped snugly in a blanket. You can even try wrapping them with their arms inside the blanket (swaddling). Young babies still don’t have full control of their bodies and may startle themselves by waving their arms around and kicking their feet. You can experiment with this and see what your baby’s preferences are.
6. Change her location. Sometimes changing a baby’s location will help her settle. Many babies love to be outside. If you can find a protected place outside -- with a comfortable temperature -- you can move her blanket and go to sit with her outdoors. For young babies, be wary of windy days. Younger babies have a reflexive response when wind hits their face and they begin to startle and gasp.
7. Try a baby carrier. Use a sling or other front carrier and see if you and she enjoy the closenss a baby pack offers for part of the day.
8. Watch how she comforts herself. Often even very young babies develop tools to calm and comfort themselves. Most commonly, babies will find their fist, fingers, or thumb to suck on. While historically, thumb-sucking has been discouraged, it is in fact a very resourceful strategy for a child. It provides a ready alternative when she really needs to suck but isn’t really hungry. You can also try pacifiers, if you are more comfortable with them.
9. Make time for you. If possible, regular