y wives braved the discomfort and danger to be with their husbands.
Keeping up appearances
In order to keep up civilized appearances, an officer’s wife would bring out the fine china and silverware she had shipped all the way from England for special occasions such as Christmas, birthdays and weddings. She would probably want to lay an attractive table for a visiting VIP. Before the outbreak of hostilities in 1812, British and American officers and their wives regularly hosted dinners for each other.
A resourceful wife with a flair for entertaining could add a touch of social grace to the most dreary outpost. The young wife of Lt.-Col. John Murray, commander at Fort George, was popular with all of the officers and their wives. Gen. Isaac Brock called her a “charming little creature, full of good sense and spirit.”
For the wives of common soldiers, there were no dinner parties or servants. When a regiment sailed from England, only a small percentage of married enlisted men were allowed to take their wives along. They were chosen by drawing lots.
In the colonies, enlisted men’s wives lived in barracks with their husbands. A soldier’s wife drew rations and shared his cot. If she was very lucky, she might get a cot of her own next to his. The couple would hang up a sheet for privacy. They shared this tiny living space with their children.
In the barracks, soldiers’ wives and children were exposed to all the loutish behaviour that was part of life among the lowly rank and file: drunkenness, coarse language, gambling and bunkhouse brawls. There was also the problem of men making advances on other men’s wives.
The women earned their keep by doing laundry, repairing uniforms and working in the kitchen. Children were put to work at a variety of chores, from hauling firewood to mending boots. They were often shabbily dressed in cast-off bits of uniforms.
For a young woman, life as a common soldier’s wife could be very difficult until she learned the ropes. She might find herself at the bottom of a pecking order dominated by older women who were toughened veterans. If her husband died, she had the choice of being sent home or marrying another soldier. During the War of 1812, some soldiers’ wives were widowed two or three times.
Many wives became as hardened as the men. They cursed, drank and earned the disdain of the officer class through thievery and immoral behaviour. Nonetheless, there were those who were conscientious, capable and resourceful. They planted vegetable gardens and raised chickens and pigs for extra food. They earned money by working as servants for officers. Those who were literate schooled their children and even gave lessons to soldiers. They served as nurses to sick and wounded men. An American officer could well have been referring to common soldiers’ wives on both sides when he wrote of “good, honest, industrious (women) ever ready for a fight, yet kind of heart in a rough manner, always ready to assist in times of distress.”
Women of courage
Laura Secord, wife of a Canadian militiaman, became famous for warning a British officer of an impending American attack. On the other side of the line, another woman allegedly delivered a warning. But her reward was notoriety.
Elizabeth Coles Stewart was British-born but immigrated to the United States as a girl. Her husband, James Stewart, was a British merchant who established a prosperous import business in New London, Conn. President James Madison’s decision to declare war on Great Britain in 1812 received very little support in the New England states. James Stewart continued to trade with the British, and he provided information and supplies for the Royal Navy fleet that was blockading the New England coast. He was also the agent for British prisoners of war brought into New London.
In the summer of 1813, Commodore Stephen Decatur, suspicious of James Stewart’s activities, had him banished to an inland community. A pregnant Elizabeth was allowed to remain in New London. She supposedly kept her husband’s spy network alive. She would have had plenty of help, because 