 it all for most of us under the age of fifty when we’re finally diagnosed.
What advice do you have for patients facing a cancer diagnosis?
First, you need to compartmentalize your journey—your own journey, your family’s, and your various communities’. These all have their own compartments—emotional, physical, psycho-social, medical, insurance, financial, logistics and even the stigma of having cancer. You need to take this all in and then break it down.
Of course there is always the element of sorrow and self-pity. Sure, you can feel sorry for yourself – it is even ok to never stop feeling sorry for yourself. But you need to do so in a compartmentalized space, and then get back to the business of staying on top of your health and living your life. Live each moment with gratitude, grace and passion. Allow yourself to feel the power of life and live in the moment.
You also need to own your own care – be your own account manager. Be proactive – understand your disease. Know what your doctor expects from you, and what you expect from your doctor. It’s critical to choose a doctor who is hearing you. My doctors and nurses made me feel like they really cared about me—and what was important to me—when they were caring for me. It’s important to find a place to give you that.
Finally, I can’t say enough about the community that has embraced me as a cancer survivor. They say it takes a community to raise a child—it also takes a community to get a survivor through the journey. And I haven’t found a more caring community than this one I’ve been forced to belong to because of cancer.
For example, places like Gilda’s Club (a community for cancer survivors, family and friends) can become a home, and it definitely became ours. There is strength in knowing others who are feeling what you’re feeling. You can connect with others and validate frustration, or talk about what’s right about your doctor or your care – it’s empowering. You can turn to these individuals when you feel like the burden you have placed on your family just from your diagnosis alone is enough.
My one regret in all of this is that I haven’t been able, because of the demands and logistics of staying healthy, to extend myself to thank all of them – my doctors, nurses, case managers, and especially my family, friends and neighbors—thank them for taking this walk with me. If I could get this entire group of individuals to walk with me and the Lurie Cancer Center, I have no doubt that we’d more than fill the entire park. So many wonderful people, and I’m so grateful for them.
The 17th Annual Cancer Survivors’ Celebration and Walk will be held in Chicago’s Grant Park on Sunday June 6th, beginning at 8:00 am. For more information and to register, please visit the Lurie Cancer Center’s website at: http://www.cancer.northwestern.edu/home/index.cfm