behavior that you had previously communicated was fine. Once a 6-11 years old child starts to notice that you will start shutting down their behavior without prior notice, they’ll become combative because of rising feelings of insecurity.
Maintaining consistency is about more than simply holding firm to limitations, though. It’s also about keeping your daily routines consistent and your interactions predictable.
Having a predictable environment and routine can help calm a surprising amount of behavioral issues in elementary-aged children. While they may seem so much more mature than they were just a few years prior, they still are very much uncertain about the world. Having their parents and home feel easy to predict will make it easier for them to regulate their own emotions and expectations.
Set up the same expectations for them each day, such as what they should do when they come home from school, what they should do to get ready in the morning, and how they get ready for bed. Having these parts of their day be easier to navigate will help level out their emotions and make them less likely to have intense emotional reactions.
4. Respect their independence
The hardest part of raising children is always learning when to let go. For children at 6-11 years old age, it can be easy to still see them as impossibly young and immature. However, elementary-aged children have a strong need for their own space, independence, and privacy. Show them that you respect their independence by allowing them a certain measure of privacy. Give them some space where they can be “grown-up free,” in whatever way is most impactful and practical for your family.
Great options might be making a small space where your child can read without interruptions from the rest of the family, or putting up a small treehouse in the yard where they can play alone. It may even be as simple as knocking before entering their room or allowing them privacy for things like their diary or their phone conversations with friends.
It’s also important to show that you trust your child’s independence when it comes to their capabilities. Whether it be their math homework, their household chores, or just being able to beat a level of their video game, show faith that your child is capable enough to handle it on their own by giving them space to try and accomplish it themselves.
Of course, there may be plenty of times where they do need a hand with their homework, but start with the assumption that they’re capable of handling it themselves and offer to help if they need it, but don’t assume they will.
5. Give them responsibility
As your child is trying to assert themselves as being grown and capable, show them your confidence by assigning them responsibility. This tactic has several benefits; firstly, your child has a chance to feel capable and independent. It’s also a chance to have them direct some of their energy into something constructive, rather than adding more fuel to the chaos and destruction. It’s also a great way to teach work ethic and accountability!
What kind of responsibility you assign to your 6-11 years old child may vary widely based upon your child’s age, temperament, and the needs of your family.
Some great options may be to have your child walk the dog each day when they get home from school, or helping care for their younger siblings in the morning. For older children, you can even have them contribute to the household by preparing a dinner for the whole family. Make this decision with your child.
Last Updated on September 24, 2021