War of 1812: The women of the war
Accompanying their husbands from England, wives learned to adapt to life in British North America.
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British army officers sent to the far-flung outposts of the Empire in the early 19th century usually took their wives and children with them. After all, it could be years before they saw England again. Most of the women who married military men accepted that they might have to set up housekeeping in a colonial backwater like British North America.
For a British army officer’s wife, happiness in the colonies depended on her willingness to adapt and make the best of the circumstances. In larger communities like Halifax and Quebec City, and even in muddy York, there were small but distinct upper-class circles in which people tried to emulate English high society. Most of the comforts and pleasant diversions of a genteel lifestyle were available. Wives accompanied their husbands to dinner parties and picnics, and entertained each other with formal social calls. The families of senior officers might even be lodged in private homes. An officer’s rank entitled him to a servant, who would often be chosen from the ranks of enlisted men. The servant would be at her ladyship’s beck and call.
However, the officer’s wife had to learn to rough it if her husband was posted to an outlying fort, where the family’s accommodations might be a single room in a barracks building. With nothing but forest outside the stockade, her world was largely confined to the small area within the walls.
Some officers preferred to leave their wives in a place of comfort and safety. Lt. William MacEwan, whose regiment was fighting on the Niagara frontier, insisted his wife remain in Montreal even though she wanted to join him. “We are in the centre of the woods, which is wild in the extreme,” he wrote to her. “There is nothing to be had for money and we must live on our rations, which are bad.” He was also concerned for her safety should there be a battle with the Americans. Still, many wives braved the discomfort and danger to be with their husbands.
Keeping up appearances
In order to keep up civilized appearances, an officer’s wife would bring out the fine china and silverware she had shipped all the way from England for special occasions such as Christmas, birthdays and weddings. She would probably want to lay an attractive table for a visiting VIP. Before the outbreak of hostilities in 1812, British and American officers and their wives regularly hosted dinners for each other.
A resourceful wife with a flair for entertaining could add a touch of social grace to the most dreary outpost. The young wife of Lt.-Col. John Murray, commander at Fort George, was popular with all of the officers and their wives. Gen. Isaac Brock called her a “charming little creature, full of good sense and spirit.”
For the wives of common soldiers, there were no dinner parties or servants. When a regiment sailed from England, only a small percentage of married enlisted men were allowed to take their wives along. They were chosen by drawing lots.
In the colonies, enlisted men’s wives lived in barracks with their husbands. A soldier’s wife drew rations and shared his cot. If she was very lucky, she might get a cot of her own next to his. The couple would hang up a sheet for privacy. They shared this tiny living space with their children.
In the barracks, soldiers’ wives and children were exposed to all the loutish behaviour that was part of life among the lowly rank and file: drunkenness, coarse language, gambling and bunkhouse brawls. There was also the problem of men making advances on other men’s wives.
The women earned their keep by doing laundry, repairing uniforms and working in the kitchen. Children were put to work at a variety of chores, from hauling firewood to mending boots. They were often shabbily dressed in cast-off bits of uniforms.
For a young woman, life as a common soldier’s wife could be very difficult until she learned the ropes. She might find herself at the bottom of a pecking order dominated b