shown through appreciation, a sense of wonder and thankfulness .
The benefits of gratitude on wellbeing and relationships
Expressing gratitude has been found to be effective in enhancing an individual’s wellbeing and improving social bonds and connections. Personal benefits of gratitude can be derived in numerous ways. For example, grateful thinking can promote savouring positive experiences and can led to the maximum possible enjoyment from circumstances . Grateful people have been found to be more open, agreeable, extraverted, conscientious and less neurotic  as well as experiencing greater life satisfaction and optimism . In addition to this, sharing grateful feelings can provide relational benefits. A study by Algoe, Haidt and Gable (2008) focused on the relational experience of gratitude and its consequences for relationship formation . The evidence highlighted that thoughtfulness, relational appraisal and perceived responses were all found to be robust predictors of gratitude. It also confirmed that relationship formation and maintenance can be promoted through the emotion of gratitude and it may even create a cycle between the recipient and the benefactor that builds upon their connection . Further research suggests that gratitude can increase each individual’s satisfaction with the relationship as well as demonstrate predictive efficacy for their partners happiness . In other words, the more gratitude you feel and express, the more likely you are to have a partner that is happy in the relationship – and we all want that!
Cultivating gratitude in your relationship
Within this ever fast paced world we live in, distractions coming from all angles, it’s little wonder that day to day experiences get lost within the chaos of the moment. This leaves little time for acknowledgement or recognition of our partners when they may have significantly impacted our day in a good way. The adage ‘stop and smell the roses’ is apt for gratitude. It’s the ability to pause, reflect and express thankfulness for all the things that your partner does for you. Shifting towards a more grateful mindset will change the lens in which you view each other and can make a significant improvement in the way you relate to one another.
The techniques for augmenting gratitude are relatively simple and can easily be integrated into a regular practice. The following exercises are designed to arouse feelings of gratitude and provide the means by which gratitude can be expressed easily and openly. They can be undertaken individually or as a couple.
- Gratitude journaling – each day write down at least three things your partner did that day that you are grateful for. At the end of the week share the list to the recipient.
- Gratitude letter – write a letter of gratitude to your partner about a time where you felt they had benefited you but you had not yet adequately thanked them. Then share the letter with your partner .
You can continue the exercises for as long as you wish, however once you stop actively practicing gratitude the derived benefits from the exercises will diminish over time. If you want a sustained and lasting positive change implement an ongoing gratitude practice that you and your partner can enjoy doing together.
Gratitude is a simple yet powerful way to improve your wellbeing and experience a happier, healthier relationship. So start showing a little gratitude – you’ll be thankful you did!
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