ildren are so afraid of going to school that they stay home. It’s the kind of fear that causes physical distress and hampers kids’ ability to learn in class. On the one hand, it’s terrible that so many kids out there are suffering. But if you’re the victim of bullying yourself, all of this information should means two important things: bullying is a serious problem that needs to be dealt with and you are not alone.
So, how do you deal with being bullied? You may not feel like it but you have a number of options available to you depending on the nature of the bullying and your own personality.
Avoid them. This isn’t a suggestion to skip class or stay home from school entirely but if you know your bully takes a specific route or eating in a certain place, do what you can to keep from running into them.
Stand up for yourself. A bully’s power is in making you feel small and bad about yourself, but many times they don’t know how to react when their victims actually stand their ground and refuse to be cowed. Be careful before taking this action, though, because it can cause some bullies to redouble their efforts to “break you” if you embarrass them by not backing down.
Ignore them. In the same way that bullies can be surprised when you stand up for yourself, many are just as confused when you don’t give them the reaction they want. Pretending that their actions have no effect on you whatsoever—that they don’t matter—is a great way to stop teasing in its tracks.
Use the buddy system. Bullies are far less likely to harass people travelling in groups, so try to come up with a schedule to make sure that you’re always around a few friends.
Talk to someone. Most kids don’t want to tell adults when they are being bullied but this is a mistake. In fact, bullies count on victims not telling adults as part of their strategy. As long as no one with more power than them is involved, they can keep doing what they’re doing. Don’t feel bad for the bully. What they are doing is serious and wrong, and getting an adult to stop their behavior may even help them in the long run.
Start an anti-bullying program. If you don’t want to talk to an adult and “out” a bully directly, talk to someone about starting an anti-bullying program. Some schools have eliminated or greatly minimized the culture of bullying by creating “bully-free zones” and working to educate teachers and students about the dangers of bullying so that they’re more willing to get involved when they see harassing behavior.
How to Help if Your Child is Being Bullied
Different parents have different reactions to learning that their child might be experiencing bullying. Some may believe that the bullying is a way to “toughen them up” and “show them how it is in the real world.” Others might become so enraged that they want to confront the bullies themselves or may push their children to fight back.
These options are rarely the right way to handle bullying. It’s much better to try to calm yourself down and take the middle ground—show concern but try to find ways to solve the problem that don’t involve physical or verbal altercations. Here are some suggestions that experts recommend.
Talk about bullying. One of the best ways to help your bullied child is to simply talk about bullying. Not about their bully specifically or the trouble they’re going through, but why bullying happens, how bullies typically work, and what they can do to make it stop and help others. They also need to understand that victims are never to blame for bullying because far too many of them can feel guilt and even become depressed. Educating your child in this way arms them with information that they can use to solve their problem.
Make yourself available to your child. A lot of kids won’t be comfortable coming to their parents for help for a variety of reasons, so it’s important that you do everything you can to show them that talking to you about a problem is something safe. Make sure they know that you care and that you’re willing to listen no matter what, but don’t press them for information or they might retreat