s violent control freak and frankly psychopathic - becuase his behaviour is in fact symptomatic of a psychological disorder of an extremely serious nature. One you are not responsible for just as you are not responsible for the horrific violence he inflicts on you. Wetting the bed is a sure sign of how horrifically distressed you are by his horrific emotional and physical abuse and no one should have to suffer this. In fact if your father treated an animal like this he would face criminal charges. You don't say what age you are or if you have any support from other family members (possibly not if they are in the grip of his fear too) but the law is there to protect you from this. If you are an adult, then report him to the guards on grounds of vicious assault, grevious bodily harm at the least and make it known that you are literally afraid for your life. They can apply to the courts for a protction order. If you can leave and stay with someone else - do so for your own sake. If you are betwen 16 and 18, (a minor) you can legally leave if you wish. Go to your local hospital also and present for treatment of any injuries and tell them exactly what happened and who is responsible - if you are under 18 they are duty bound to inform the guards and a social worker - who can intervene to either provide a care place for you or have him removed from the home if another adult is present. If you are under 18, you can also contact childline who can provide more advice but you do not have to put up with the violent and criminal behaviour of someone who is frankly, a sick monster. You might want to contact womens aid (who may have shelters and refuges) and the samaritans as well - I believe they now have an email address. Seek help and do it today. When he no longer has a hold on you, you may want to consider counselling. There are two excellent books which may help as well. One is Toxic Parents - by Susan Forward The other is called 'For your own good' by Alice Miller. Do post again if you think there's any other advice or help I can offer and do seek help.|
|JoJo8577 Posted: 23/01/2009 02:57|
For years my mother has refused to believe my father sexually abused me and my little brother. I tried to tell people but they told me I must have egged him on in some way and that I had twisted him and that was why he molested my brother after me. I eventually got away to relatives in England and my brother followed later.
To this day I still dislike men but in my teens found myself sleeping around, now I sometimes have sex with men I don't like coz I don't know how else to relate to them.
I have a baby girl and have never allowed any man near her and will never. Men are all monsters
|Dorothee Posted: 13/02/2009 16:41|
A recent billboard poster of the campaign against domestic violence showed a clear bias against men. It showed fallen chairs and had the caption: "He hit her again in front of the children." Yes, it is true that the majority of perpetrators are men, but as in every area of conflict it needs two to make a quarrel. Many women believe that women are not capable of violence by nature - but they forget verbal abuse, ridicule and mental cruelty. Having been witness to a number of domestic scenes where women ridiculed their partners in the presence of friends, I really admired the men's restraint. I can give evidence to some arguments in which women were clearly the aggressors. Many men simply don't have the same verbal ammunition at their disposal and resort to physical violence to stop futher aggression.
Only when the whole dynamic of a conflict that leads to violence is investigated, real peaceful solutions can be found. As long as women show their disappointment in their husbands by resentment and ridicule they tip the balance to aggression - and they should become aware of their role.
Learning how best to relate is what both partners need to improve.
|Anonymous Posted: 16/02/2009 09:31|
Dorethee, you say that in as in every area of conflict it needs two to make a quarrel but you forget that there is NO reason or justification for