tions and having babies when their male contemporaries were practicing eloquence or studying philosophy abroad in places like Athens. Of course, this would only apply to males from upper class families. Women from the lower classes received enough education to assist them in running small businesses and working as dressmakers or salespeople in the markets.(40)
A dichotomy existed within the lives of Roman women. They did have some personal freedoms, but they had little chance for individuality or personal choice. They were under the constant supervision of their fathers, male relatives, and husbands, who regularly kissed them on the mouth to find out if they had drunk wine.(41) Drinking wine was strictly forbidden for Roman women and they could be punished by death. In Memorable Deeds and Sayings from the first century AD, Maximus tells us how Egnatius Metellus beat his wife to death for drinking wine.(42) It was believed that wine caused women to have adulterous relationships, which were very common since so many marriages took place for political or economic reasons, not for love or passion. Women found to have committed adultery could be put to death by their fathers or guardians.(43) Women often married men who were much older than themselves. They married whoever they were told to.
Another controlling device used against Roman women was the practise of not allowing them to have personal names. Instead, a woman took her father's middle name or nomen and feminized it. From a Roman woman's name you could tell who her father was and therefore, her position in society. (44) Women existed within their families and had no identity of their own. Their fathers had absolute control over their lives and could even sell them into slavery or force them into a marriage and out of one, too.(45) Some women were forced to get a divorce because their fathers had found more lucrative and prestigious families for them to marry into. If they had children at the time of the divorce, women were forced to leave them behind. When marriages dissolved, women had no legal rights concerning the offspring and often never saw them again. Marriages were often without manus, meaning that the father kept the property of his daughter and would therefore, retain a hold over her wealth. A marriage with manus gave power over the woman to her new husband, as well as ownership of her property. In either case, Roman women were not permitted to do anything they wanted with their own money, since personal wealth is always equated with power. Of course, there were some exceptions. Mothers could spend money on their sons' political careers or education. One can also read about Cicero's wife, Terentia, who had personal wealth and made land investments on her own. That was only because she had a very agreeable guardian who gave his permission. It would seem likely that women with wealth would have more power over their lives, but this would very much depend upon her father or guardian or husband. Women were expected to have a legal guardian because they were not considered smart enough to act in their own best interest. When Cornelia, mother of the Gracchi, was widowed, she refused to marry again and as a result, made her own decisions, but this was very rare. The only real power that most women possessed was over their personal interactions within the circle of their friends and family. Women had to know their place, remain modest, be tireless, and both loyal and obedient to their families - emotionally, physically, and financially. That was what Roman men were looking for in a wife. (46)
So it is evident that women had certain prescribed roles to play within Roman society: child bearer, mother, daughter, and wife. They were considered citizens, but they were not permitted to vote or participate in government procedures. If they did try, it was frowned upon. Some women were more educated than others. All had some personal freedoms. Lower class women could work, but upper class women were expected to meet the expectations that their families had set out for them