in high levels of play with their peers. Children whose mothers abstained from criticism or derisive humor in the parent-child interaction were able to establish common ground activities and exchange information with their friends. Children whose fathers were affectively positive and responsive to their needs scored higher in self-disclosure (the most intimate level of play) during their peer play session.
In the parent-child play session, parent intrusiveness (physically taking over control of the video game they were trying to teach their child) and derisive humor (making fun of the child’s performance, being sarcastic) communicated incompetence and a lack of respect for the child’s efforts. Children whose parents were intrusive, disengaged, and used derisive humor were more likely to have negative peer play with their best friends (being angry, crying, making negative comments, not complying with task instructions).
Here, we see what Drs. Gottman, Katz, and Kahen call the direct transfer of behavior displayed toward children to their child’s interactions with peers, the hypothesis being that, “these children have more negative peer play because they are imitating their parent’s tendency to convey that others are incompetent and unworthy of respect.”
The results of this study make it clear that, while both parents have a huge impact on the development of their child’s interpersonal learning and behavior, each parent has a different role. One of the primary goals of the researchers in this study was to determine how mothers and fathers differ in the effects of their parenting behavior on children’s peer relationships and social skills. On Thursday, we look forward to sharing some of their fascinating findings!More in The Research