ified as alcoholic and, by extension, disreputable-harpies who transgress social codes and defile the righteous image of Indian womanhood.
“It is very challenging to get women out,” says Rameela, a recovering alcoholic whose mission to help other women alcoholics led her to join the General Service Office (GSO) of AA India.
(Taken from “Alcoholism in women on the rise, but few seek help”, The Times of India, Mumbai)
It is still harder for a woman to seek recovery. Not only so in India but unfortunately enough in many, many cultures worldwide. For those who do seek recovery, its not always easy, even in recovery women to this day are being preyed upon.
It is noteworthy to mention that online recovery groups, which offer a different dimension to anonymity, are frequented more by women than by men.
Predators in A.A.
Predators are those who take advantage of others. Predators are existent in face to face venues as well as in online venues and seek to victimize for many reasons. Sexual harassment and sexual attacks are two of these reasons and are generally, though not exclusively, committed by male predators against female victims. Women, in many cases, have no other recourse than to organize special “Women’s Meetings” or seek women-only groups.
This article is not written for the eyes of women only. In fact, it is the intention of this writer to bring some attention with regards to our gender issues, specifically towards the men in A.A. If you have reached this far in reading the article it means that you care about this issue and are concerned. A.A. groups in general and men in particular can contribute their efforts in creating a safer environment for the alcoholic woman who so desperately needs help to get out of their hell-on-earth, a place many of us have been able to flee from thanks to unconditional love we have received from fellow members.
The GSO in Australia has issued some suggested practices which can be useful to groups around the world and online. These include:
- Talking about the issue in the group and at group conscience meetings. An informed membership and group conscience creates much needed awareness which can make it more difficult for the predator to function.
- Take courage to address the matter directly with the suspected predator. Make the predator aware that the behaviour is unacceptable, that he (or she) has been observed and that under no circumstances a continued deviant behaviour will be tolerated.
- Avoid opportunities for possible predators to be alone with their victims. Encourage as much as possible for discussions to take place in a larger setting.
- Don’t avoid talking about this with members of other groups as the predator might move from one group to the next.
Having heard a few horror stories of 13 stepping in A.A. it is understandable that some meetings and groups are segregated. This, however, does not alleviate the problem nor does it address the issue. The Internet over the years has provided a safer haven for women to be open about their addictions but even online we can still find the janitor pretending to be a minister in order to sponsor the new comer woman eventually exchanging personal information and pictures. Other men, aware of these tactics are equally at fault if they allow this to happen without their intervention. Turning a blind eye is unacceptable.
If all of us can do our part we can move our fellowship forward and bring much needed help to women alcoholics that today may be reluctant to seek help and those that have fallen victim to predators and don’t want to return. All members of the fellowship, men and women, should help raise awareness about these issues. The better informed the group and the individual member is with regards to these bottlenecks the sooner we can expect to move beyond them.
“To call woman the weaker sex is a libel; it is man’s injustice to woman. If by strength is meant brute strength, then, indeed, is woman less brute than man. If by strength is meant moral power, then woman is immeasurably man’s superior. Has she not greater intuition, is s