and at group conscience meetings. An informed membership and group conscience creates much needed awareness which can make it more difficult for the predator to function.
- Take courage to address the matter directly with the suspected predator. Make the predator aware that the behaviour is unacceptable, that he (or she) has been observed and that under no circumstances a continued deviant behaviour will be tolerated.
- Avoid opportunities for possible predators to be alone with their victims. Encourage as much as possible for discussions to take place in a larger setting.
- Don’t avoid talking about this with members of other groups as the predator might move from one group to the next.
Having heard a few horror stories of 13 stepping in A.A. it is understandable that some meetings and groups are segregated. This, however, does not alleviate the problem nor does it address the issue. The Internet over the years has provided a safer haven for women to be open about their addictions but even online we can still find the janitor pretending to be a minister in order to sponsor the new comer woman eventually exchanging personal information and pictures. Other men, aware of these tactics are equally at fault if they allow this to happen without their intervention. Turning a blind eye is unacceptable.
If all of us can do our part we can move our fellowship forward and bring much needed help to women alcoholics that today may be reluctant to seek help and those that have fallen victim to predators and don’t want to return. All members of the fellowship, men and women, should help raise awareness about these issues. The better informed the group and the individual member is with regards to these bottlenecks the sooner we can expect to move beyond them.
“To call woman the weaker sex is a libel; it is man’s injustice to woman. If by strength is meant brute strength, then, indeed, is woman less brute than man. If by strength is meant moral power, then woman is immeasurably man’s superior. Has she not greater intuition, is she not more self-sacrificing, has she not greater powers of endurance, has she not greater courage? Without her, man could not be. If nonviolence is the law of our being, the future is with woman. Who can make a more effective appeal to the heart than woman?”
― Mahatma Gandhi