of interests that Paolo has noted here. He said he wants to do well. He also said I want you to learn. I think you want to learn, too. But as we all know, getting a good score is not necessarily the same thing as learning. Some of you won’t do as well as you hoped given your effort; others of you will do better than you secretly will feel you should. And some of you—most of you, I hope—will end up with a score that’s in the ballpark in terms of your ability and effort. None of us can control that, because I’m an imperfect vessel for transmitting and measuring the flow of information, and I usually don’t really know how easy or hard a test is until I actually give it and see how you all do.
Let me make a little confession here. I believe you all really do want to learn. But I also think that when push comes to shove, you care more about the score than the learning, partly because you’re enmeshed in a system where grades matter more than we might wish. So I don’t blame you for caring more about your score than your learning. But I believe you have a misguided priority in that regard, and I regard it as my job to try and manipulate you the best I can.
—You see it as your job to manipulate us?
Yes, I do, Sadie. That’s how I understand my role as an educator: to set up situations and experiences you otherwise wouldn’t have and ask you to react to them. I then try and call attention to your reaction—in some cases, I prod you to react—in a self-conscious way. My hope is that once you’ve considered your reaction, once you’re reflected on your reaction (something as likely to happen when you’re standing in the shower than sitting in a classroom), you’ll mentally change for the better. Can I know for sure when that happens? Can I know if it happens? No. I’ll do my best, just like you will. Teaching is an art, not a science.
—Well, OK. But what does that have to do with this test?
Here’s your answer, Em—and please note that I am giving you answer, with gratitude for the irrepressible curiosity that keeps you asking questions even after I’ve annoyed you so many times. And that answer is this: You’re studying for this test because you want to do well. But I’m administering this test because I want you to have studied. For you, the score is the product. For me, your having studied is the product. My hope is that this particular episode of having studied will become part of a pile of such experiences, in this course and others, that will do something to your brain.
—That’s asking for a lot from a test, Mr. K.
Yes. And unlike you, I don’t get the benefit of a score.
—Well, I’ll give you one. I promise. But I’ll warn you: I’m a hard grader.
Well, thanks, Em. That makes me a little worried.
—Good. You should be.
Right. A little worried. Keeps me honest.
Next: Thanking God for slavery?