l mean fewer outings or stay-at-home weekend plans because you are too exhausted to do anything else.
Women shouldn’t have to stretch themselves thin to give equal time to everything. If they do that, when will they give time for themselves? In some phases of your life, the balance might come easy.
Other times, it might come with constant juggling and changing plans. This doesn’t mean you aren’t doing well. It only means that you are human and sometimes choosing one thing means giving up another.
In a capitalistic system, a human’s worth is often measured in terms of their productivity. Furthermore, patriarchy also intersects with this capitalism which creates expectations for women to make the most of every good chance that comes their way.
For example, if you have the chance to go abroad for a good job, but choose to forego it because you want to stay close to your loved ones, it is often called ‘missing out’. But why is it missing out if you are content with your decision? Why is it necessary to give full energy to every opportunity?
This also shrinks the space for health and self-care. Women should be allowed to rest without having to suffer for it. It is okay if they want to take gap years, or cancel a few meetings to look after themselves. It doesn’t mean they aren’t working hard. It only means that they prioritize their own wellbeing first and foremost.
The major issue with this ‘perfect woman’ myth is that it gives no room for intersectionality. Within the identity of women, there are a billion nuanced experiences. Access to resources is very much governed by privilege, such as race, caste, class sexuality, religion, etc.
If we consider the workplace, then are trans women given the same safety and opportunities as ciswomen? Do they navigate the same experiences or do they have their own nuanced discomforts that we must acknowledge?
If we consider personal life, then does a queer woman have the same freedom as a cis-heterosexual woman? Does she have the same space for love and family? Is she able to enjoy all the elements of personal relationships with no discrimination?
It is unfair to assume that resources are equally accessible to all women. There is still so much rampant casteism, homophobia, islamophobia, etc. that threaten the basic security of women. It is time to acknowledge all this in our idea of a woman.
The world is not a safe place for women even today.
There is still workplace discrimination and sexual harassment, gender-based crimes, lack of health-related rights such as menstruation and abortion rights, housework gap, etc. All these affect women’s experiences in the professional and personal realm. Their performance at the office and their comfort at home are compromised due to these circumstances.
When we say that women have it all, we assume that a woman is walking into a safe office and coming back to a safe home. We don’t acknowledge the various abusive and harmful practices that still happen in these settings daily.
How can a woman be expected to balance all things perfectly when she also has to battle misogyny at the same time? Confronting gender prejudice is an exhausting process, both mentally and physically. Add in other intersecting prejudices and things get even more complicated. We mustn’t dismiss that.
Some women want to focus completely on their careers. Some women don’t want romantic relationships. Some women want to focus completely on their personal lives. And some women might have different priorities in different realms of life.
Self-fulfillment is diverse. There are different ways of being content with yourself. It is always okay to do what makes you happy. Some things might be for you while others might not interest you at all.
You don’t owe society any explanation. The perfect balance is the one you have within yourself.
Thus, a single statement declaring that women have it all does not convey the true depth of identity.
We still live inside a patriarchal society. This means that the administrative, economic, socio-political, and personal realms still cater to upper-class, upp