oors are open for non-cis-male genders in schools and workplaces. Women’s representation in particular has been focused on within many organizations.
However, all this doesn’t mean that women have it easy now. The erasure of certain past oppressive practices in certain spaces doesn’t negate present discrimination. Society is still deeply patriarchal. Sure, child marriage, wage gaps, female infanticide, etc. may be openly condemned now, but that doesn’t mean they don’t happen at all.
Most importantly, external condemnation doesn’t erase the internal prejudice that we inherit from generation to generation.
This internal prejudice often leads to women erasing their own experiences. When society is so persuasive about all these new possibilities of women, their daily encounters with misogyny are dismissed in the process. They feel pressured to be ‘perfect’ in all realms of life. We don’t realize that these are also societally enforced expectations.
Also, within these expectations, society usually has an upper or middle-class cishet woman in mind. It doesn’t acknowledge the intersectionality within feminism, the intertwinings of caste, religion, sexuality, class, etc. with gender. It also erases women’s own desires in their life. It creates a faceless idea of success without considering how this fits into diverse individual lives.
Hence, it is unfair to state that women have it easier without acknowledging these nuances.
So, can a woman in current society give equal time and attention to personal, professional, and self-care realms? Is it really possible to ‘excel’ in everything without any compromise or mistakes? Is this really the ideal happiness for all women with multiple experiences?
Here is why assuming that women have it all can be harmful:
Of course, a woman can manage work and personal relationships well. However, there will always be a need to give up some things.
For example, if you want to focus extra on a work-related project, you might have to give up little elements of your personal life. Maybe this will mean fewer outings or stay-at-home weekend plans because you are too exhausted to do anything else.
Women shouldn’t have to stretch themselves thin to give equal time to everything. If they do that, when will they give time for themselves? In some phases of your life, the balance might come easy.
Other times, it might come with constant juggling and changing plans. This doesn’t mean you aren’t doing well. It only means that you are human and sometimes choosing one thing means giving up another.
In a capitalistic system, a human’s worth is often measured in terms of their productivity. Furthermore, patriarchy also intersects with this capitalism which creates expectations for women to make the most of every good chance that comes their way.
For example, if you have the chance to go abroad for a good job, but choose to forego it because you want to stay close to your loved ones, it is often called ‘missing out’. But why is it missing out if you are content with your decision? Why is it necessary to give full energy to every opportunity?
This also shrinks the space for health and self-care. Women should be allowed to rest without having to suffer for it. It is okay if they want to take gap years, or cancel a few meetings to look after themselves. It doesn’t mean they aren’t working hard. It only means that they prioritize their own wellbeing first and foremost.
The major issue with this ‘perfect woman’ myth is that it gives no room for intersectionality. Within the identity of women, there are a billion nuanced experiences. Access to resources is very much governed by privilege, such as race, caste, class sexuality, religion, etc.
If we consider the workplace, then are trans women given the same safety and opportunities as ciswomen? Do they navigate the same experiences or do they have their own nuanced discomforts that we must acknowledge?
If we consider personal life, then does a queer woman have the same freedom as a cis-heterosexual woman? Does she have the same space for love and family? Is she able to enjoy 