 If children can learn to work out problems with words and to value themselves without being judged by others, they may grow into adults who will have no need for wars.
Weeding out the tendency toward violence comes down to the smallest things we do in our lives every day. War toys are an obvious problem. One theory is that children need to work out their fascination with these objects, so why not let them play with toy guns before they can get their hands on real ones? Another theory is that if we forbid our children to use offensive language, then why can’t we forbid offensive toys? We have found that children want to know the mechanics and physics involved in shooting but can do so very well with water pumps, squirt guns, bubble or Nerf guns.
Other suggestions for working toward a more peaceful childhood
Try rearranging game rules so that everybody wins and nobody loses.
Screen television shows and movies to cut out as many of the violent, good guys vs. bad guys, formats as possible. Talk about these shows. Are the evil characters real? How could the problems be solved in more peaceful ways? How much TV does your child need to watch, anyway? Duna and Bruce’s family lived happily without TV for almost 20 years. The children enjoyed renting videos on weekends, and the rest of the time found plenty to do.
Monitor your choice of words at home. Instead of “Who can be first to brush their teeth?”, how about “Who can brush their teeth before I count to 50?” Then count slowly so even the youngest is done by 49 9/10ths.
Be a good role model. If you spank your children, how can they understand that it is not necessary to hit? If you yell or shame them they may very well do the same to their own children one day. Many times negative behavior will disappear with lots of positive reinforcement and loving physical contact. When a 4-year-old is acting out for attention, try holding him while reading a good long book or watching a movie. Even adolescents still need lots of hugs and reminders of how much we love them. If you need help with positive discipline, feel free to ask your child’s teacher for suggestions. We recommend that every parent read the following books: How to Talk so Kids will Listen by Faber and Mazlish, Positive Discipline by Nelsen and Montessori Parenting by McFarland.
Montessori is more than an educational philosophy, it is a social movement. Dr. Montessori developed her philosophy during the world wars. She saw that if we can teach our children to be aware of the smallest living things, solve problems with words, share limited resources, respect and appreciate human diversity and to be caring adults and nurturing parents, perhaps we’ll never have to watch our grandchildren march off to war.
El Nido News – Parent/Infant Class
In February the topic for discussion is the Four Planes of Development including awareness of science and cultures. Babies are little scientists and experiment with everything they can grasp. Find out how you can broaden their cultural awareness and prepare your discipline strategies. It’s not too late to join the class. If you know someone who is expecting or has a baby between 0 and 18 months old invite them to contact email@example.com about trying the class Fridays 8:30 – 11:30am.
Toddler Time – News from the Sunflowers and Tadpoles Classes
We are half way through the school year and it’s a good time to review discipline practices. As children grow they periodically test boundaries. If the boundaries are enforced consistently the testing period should be over more quickly each time. We want to respect the spirit of the child, and offer choices whenever possible, but our lives cannot always move at a toddler’s pace. Limit the choices to two and make them both choices that are productive. For instance, when it is time to pick up big sister from soccer practice, “Do you want to come now or do you want to play longer?” will not elicit as productive a response as “Do you want to hop to the car or do you want a piggy back ride?” A toddler can choose which clothes he wants to wear, but unsuita