children, became the “man of the house” at age eleven, when his father left his mother for a younger woman. Jack’s mother took on two jobs in order to feed the family, leaving Jack largely responsible for his three siblings… Jack was very much “parentified,” meaning that at times he was needed to be more the parent than the child. After college, Jack married Susanna, a very dependent young woman, and continued his pattern of feeling responsible for other’s happiness. Several years after his wedding, he became involved with a secretary at work. The affair provided a haven from his responsibilities and gave him a chance to experience intrigue, excitement, and just plain fun, something with which he’d had very little experience. After a year, however the secretary…told Susanna about the affair. Susanna’s response was uncharacteristically independent: she divorced him.
When Jack got married for the second time, he told doubting buddies, “I mean it, this time no extramarital secret life.” One wedding present, a home computer, gave Jack entry to a whole new world – the Internet. Unknown to his friends and new spouse, Jack was involved nightly in three different online affairs, had downloaded more than 1200 pornographic images … and was spending fifteen to twenty hours a week in sexual chat rooms …- all of this secret from his wife and accessed from his study at home.
Before their marriage, Jack and his second wife, Jody, has enjoyed healthy sexual relationship, but gradually, as Jack’s hidden Internet life became more arousing to him than sex with his wife, he grew more detached and withdrawn… Jack justified his activities by telling himself, “I’m not actually cheating. I’m not having real sex with anyone else… I am just having some fun, and no one is being hurt.” He told Jody that his heavy work schedule … were so draining that he was just not interested in sex for the time being. (Schneider, Weiss, p2-3)
Clearly Jacks use of pornography can hardly be classified as “healthy”. Nevertheless the fact that pornography was not being views as anything bad caused Jack to think that everything was ok. Eventually Jody went on to discover his behavior, and she felt that it was neither healthy nor fair. Jack, however, is not alone. Today more and more men begin to find themselves in Jacks shoes.
A groundbreaking cybersex survey by Cooper and associate of 9,265 Internet users found that 8.5 percent were sexually compulsive of addictive. These cybersex users spent at least eleven hours per week in online sexual pursuit. They were considered addicts because they generally denied their online sexual activities, and continued going online despite poor academic or job performance, relationships difficulties, job loss, sexual harassment suits, arrests, failed relationships, or other adverse consequences.
Approximately 1 percent of the cybersex addicts in a follow-up analysis of the groundbreaking Cooper cybersex survey had a lengthy history of sexual obsession and compulsions that long preceded their discovery of sex on the Internet. (Schneider, Weiss, p10)
According to the provided statistics 7.5 percent of internet users developed a porn addiction without being previous predisposed.
It is estimated that well over 60 million people in the U.S. purposely visit Internet porn sites. According to ComScore Media Matrix, there were 63.4 million unique visitors to adult websites in December of 2005, viewing over 15 billion pages of adult content. (Kastleman, p3)
8.5 percent out of 60 million people means that there are over 5.1 million people currently addicted to pornography in U.S. alone, which is more that population of Los Angeles, San Jose and San Francisco combined. Out of these people, 4.5 million would not have become addicted if it was not for internet pornography. And with the number of internet users constantly increasing this numbers are very likely to go up. Cybersex addicts, like any other addicts, become preoccupied with their addiction and stop being responsible members of society. Here is how two of the porn addicts describe their c