ly on the look out for any worrying behavior changes.
Although grieving teenagers may hide their emotions, these emotions
can still be intense. Let them know it is okay to be upset and cry. Teenagers can try to protect the parent by keeping quiet
about their own feelings; they may need to be given 'permission' to express what they think and feel. They need to know it
is okay to talk about their dead parent and can be helped by the remaining parent giving a lead in this direction. Encourage
healthy ways to release emotions through sporting or cultural activities.
Teenagers should never be told that they will be taking the
place of the parent who has died, rather you should help them focus on their needs for the future, such as education or training
for work. However, again it is natural for the remaining members of the family to regroup and some sharing of responsibilities
needs to take place.
If you feel you are not able to help the teenager cope with
grief and the problems reflecting that grief, then seek professional help.
Older teenagers will see clearly how the death of a parent affects
the family and their own life. They may think they should now care for Mum/Dad and other family members. They may be confused
about what they should do. As with younger teenagers, help them make decisions which focus on their own needs. It sometimes
takes a number of years for a teenager to work through the emotional grieving.
Children with special needs
some of these children may be difficult. They do not always understand the disruption to their lives. They can become emotionally
very unstable and revert to very childish behavior.
Their needs are the same as for other children, but more patience
and understanding is required to help them work through the grief.
Milestones in accepting death
various patterns and may continue on and off for many years, though the intensity may get less. The surviving parent will
know when the children are coming to terms with the death when they show they are accepting the reality of the death.
They will be reorganizing life to cope without the dead parent;
returning to their normal round of activities and relationships.
Partnerships have different
stages of happiness. Be careful not to over-glorify or run down your partner. Children need good, realistic memories on which
to build their future.
Your needs are as great as those of your children. Yet, along
with your deep sorrow you must cope with the grief of your children. You are the most important person in their life. To help
cope with the added responsibility, don't be afraid to take up offers of help from family and friends. Exercise and eat well.
Maintain contact with family, friends and support groups who understand your needs. These people can help both you and your
children through the grieving period.
If religion is an important part of your life, share your beliefs
with your children. This may provide them with answers which may help now in the future.