d arrogance. Poise has nothing to do with arrogance or snobbery, so don't confuse the two. A humble person who cares about others and gives them their time in the light can be more poised than someone who is cocky and arrogant.
- Be yourself. One thing you have that is strictly yours and no one else's is the combination of your values, life experiences, and personality. Don't ever try to be someone you aren't because as soon as the façade cracks, you'll look pitiful rather than poised.
- Summon patience. A poised person rarely loses their cool. When something happens that threatens to ruin your day, how you handle the situation determines how poised you are. You have choices when your patience is tested. You can throw a temper tantrum, but that makes you appear weak. Better options are to find ways to remedy the situation, use it as a learning experience, and accept what has happened. Find techniques that allow you to think clearly so you can handle potent situations. Be patient with others who haven't yet mastered these important skills.
- Be a lifelong student. Most people who show poise and grace are open to new knowledge. Read books, be aware of pop culture, follow the news, be tech-savvy, and take classes. If you discover a topic that you are interested in but not aware of, research to learn all about it.
- Stop talking and listen. People will think you are the smartest person in the world if you listen closely, pay attention to what they say, and show that you are completely invested in what they have to say. Nod, smile, and laugh at appropriate times. Be empathetic. Ask questions to keep the conversation going without it always being about you.
- Be positive but pragmatic. You don't have to be perpetually on, which can sometimes have an adverse reaction from appearing too artificial, and avoid dwelling on the negative. Doing so will keep you down, and you'll lack the poise you're looking for. You only have so much energy, and you'll burn it up faster if you always see the bad side of something. If you find that your current company is always sour, consider taking a break and seeking out more assured ones.
- Find a purpose in life and go for it. You may be the type of person who is driven to succeed in business. Take classes and talk to people at the level where you want to be. Or you might be mission-minded, and you want to make a difference in social issues in the world or country. Find a soup kitchen or food bank and volunteer. You'll be more confident and poised if you follow your calling.