's what I did.|
|drinkersdaughter Posted: 18/08/2006 13:02|
|what about mothers who let their husbands abuse their children and then tell the abuser how wonderful he is and how the children are so ungrateful for all the sacrifices(none) that they made!! Why encourage them then the husband says to the mother that the children are the way they are because she is a bad mother .. belittling her and fusrtating the mother against the children . It is sad but true. They would go to lengths lying to their friends even to vcover the situation blaming all others and all other factor but the real problem ALCOHOLIC BULLY|
|Mary Posted: 18/08/2006 14:01|
|Perhaps there are a number of factors involved in this The mother is afraid of the father. She depends on him financially both for herself and her children. She's also afraid oif what she percieves as publich shame which is why she tries to cover it up.|
|drinkersdaughter Posted: 18/08/2006 14:43|
|I know that there are factors that come into play and it was not financial in this case, fear certainly did. There was a place to go to so it was not like she was trapped with no money and no alternative.|
|drinkersdaughter Posted: 18/08/2006 14:49|
|And is hiding domestic violence better or justifiable because of percieved public shame?? Causing mental damage and physical damage to a child which has lasting effects and different effects on individuals than doing what comes naturally to a mother and protecting her offspring her babies? I see your point Mary and I know where you are coming from but honestly the results are too devestating on each sibling, plus she can't be that afraid of public shame as he chased us out of the house into the street more than once. jumping on the bonnet of the car and spitting like a wild animal.. Honestly and this in a very respectable southside estate!|
|Mary Posted: 18/08/2006 15:02|
|is hiding domestic violence better or justifiable because of percieved public shame? Oh absolutrely not. I am not defending violence in any way just sugesting excuses that the mother might have felt were the case at the time.|
|Sam Posted: 20/09/2006 10:45|
|First of all the abused person loses all self esteem and refuses to trust anyone. Its a cancer that the society always had a cure for but refused to act or acknowledge. It comes in all shapes and forms and does not follow gender boundaries. I have personally referred people to many wonderful self help and government funded organisations that have helped people get back to some kind of normality. Must remember though it is a huge industry worldwide. What a person needs most for now is a true friend who is always there without having to be there. Knowing how the system works also helps. A few words of advice. Keep diary of events, privately. Get a dictaphone. They are small and discreet. Call the gardai. the perpetrator is removed immediately. Call the social services they will respond and prepare a report for the courts and the gardai.Especially if it happens to be he, you will never have to hear or see him again. You will get control of your life. For now the onus is completely in favour of the woman and children for their protection. Use it wisely as it is open to abuse but extremely effective.Drinkers daughter no one deserves to be terrified, abused or treated as such. I believe even one incident as such is one too many. Word of advice ladies. When you meet a scumbag portraying himself as a man, walk away. Afterall when you see doggy poo in the street don't you walk away. Same applies to men. No more excuses please take control of yoour life. It may seem hard at first but is a doddle compared to waht you may face in the long run.|
|Sam Posted: 20/09/2006 10:54|
|Nick if you want to talk you can call me. The contact numbers you will find on www.fathers.ie. Its completely free of charge and non biased. I am sure I can help.|
|Lillith Posted: 28/12/2006 13:07|
|I went for help to get out of domestic violence and whatever self esteem I had left the so called agencies of the State knocked the rest out of me. Now, I say,,do