all the elements of personal relationships with no discrimination?
It is unfair to assume that resources are equally accessible to all women. There is still so much rampant casteism, homophobia, islamophobia, etc. that threaten the basic security of women. It is time to acknowledge all this in our idea of a woman.
The world is not a safe place for women even today.
There is still workplace discrimination and sexual harassment, gender-based crimes, lack of health-related rights such as menstruation and abortion rights, housework gap, etc. All these affect women’s experiences in the professional and personal realm. Their performance at the office and their comfort at home are compromised due to these circumstances.
When we say that women have it all, we assume that a woman is walking into a safe office and coming back to a safe home. We don’t acknowledge the various abusive and harmful practices that still happen in these settings daily.
How can a woman be expected to balance all things perfectly when she also has to battle misogyny at the same time? Confronting gender prejudice is an exhausting process, both mentally and physically. Add in other intersecting prejudices and things get even more complicated. We mustn’t dismiss that.
Some women want to focus completely on their careers. Some women don’t want romantic relationships. Some women want to focus completely on their personal lives. And some women might have different priorities in different realms of life.
Self-fulfillment is diverse. There are different ways of being content with yourself. It is always okay to do what makes you happy. Some things might be for you while others might not interest you at all.
You don’t owe society any explanation. The perfect balance is the one you have within yourself.
Thus, a single statement declaring that women have it all does not convey the true depth of identity.
We still live inside a patriarchal society. This means that the administrative, economic, socio-political, and personal realms still cater to upper-class, upper-caste cishet men. Men who do not fall into this category — such as men within the LGBTQ+ community — don’t enjoy all the privileges of hegemonic masculine identity but are still complicit beneficiaries.
Hence, a woman’ in this world is affected by all the little discriminations interwoven with the systems around us.
However, we can’t say that all men have it easier than all women. This is where intersectionality comes in. For example, an upper-caste woman will still have caste privilege over a man from a marginalized caste. Her gender will not erase that oppression.
Thus, we cannot deny the gender privilege that men have over women, but we also have to consider all little aspects of identity in singular cases.
It is important to recognize that being a woman is a unique experience for each. It consists of everyone who identifies with the term ‘woman’ in any capacity. This also means that everyone’s self-care needs are different. It is important to make different resources available for nuanced self-care needs. It is important to remember that self-care is not a weakness but the basic right of every person that must be accessed without any shame.
The most important discussion is not about if women have it all. Rather, it is about whether or not women know that it is okay to not have it all. It is okay to give up on things, choose one thing over another, make mistakes, be confused, and stumble through this extraordinary miracle called life.
It is okay to just be you. That is all the reason you need to take care of yourself with your head held high.