Resilience: Bouncing Back
In stressful times, people respond in a variety of ways. We certainly live in a time where stress is hitting many of us from multiple angles. How well we do in the face of hardship depends on our resilience, our ability to bounce back from stress rather quickly, and to be able to adapt, change, and move on. When you have resilience, you are able to harness inner resources and rebound quickly from a setback, whether it’s an illness, loss of a job, or death of a loved one. Some people bounce back, and others become overwhelmed and fall apart.
Resilience is defined as: 1) the ability to bounce back into shape, or position; 2) the ability to recover strength, spirits, and good health quickly; 3) buoyancy; 4) the ability to remain calm, energized, engaged, focused and purposeful in the face of stressful challenges.
Resilience is a concept that has been studied by medicine and psychology for some time. Those with lower levels of resilience feel overwhelmed, victimized, and turn to unhealthy ways of coping, such as alcohol or drug abuse. Resilience gives you the ability to see a crisis or challenge with a new and broad perspective, and have the ability to see beyond the immediate stress. Resilient people continue to function.
Resilience is not about “toughing it out” or ignoring your feelings. It implies the ability to truly feel your emotions, be aware of your thoughts, and remain in the moment—even when the moment feels like the last place you want to be. It is, however, the only time and place you can ever be. Resilient people do not tend to be loners. When they recognize a problem, or recognize that they’re in real trouble, they reach out for help. Those who tough it out tend to be loners without much social support; they generally don’t reach out to others for help.
We know that in times of crisis or challenge, resilient people are going to do better. That does not mean that less resilient people are doomed. If that were the case, there would be no point in writing this article. Once people understand this issue, they usually know if they are the resilient type or not. Those who need to become more resilient can do a number of things to do just that.
Our core beliefs are the source of our strength and resilience or lack of it. See how you relate to the following belief statements:
1. I can’t do it. I can’t do “this.”
2. I can handle this challenge.
3. I can handle anything.
4. Things don’t generally go well for me.
5. My life seems like an endless stream of stress and trauma. It’s enough to crush anyone.
6. This looks difficult, but if I take a deep breath, become open to new solutions and new ways of looking at things, I’m sure I’ll be fine.
7. Things just happen. Life is full of random accidents.
8. Everything happens for a reason.
9. There is a lesson in this painful situation. I may not know the lesson until I come through to the other side, but I try to maintain an attitude of gratitude, even in tough, unpleasant situations.
10. I’m a lucky and optimistic person.
11. I’m not lucky. If something bad is about to happen, I’m the one it will probably happen to.
12. I’ve endured, survived, and thrived through lots of stress. I know I can cope, not only with the “possible,” but I’m able to deal with the “impossible.”
In reading these 12 beliefs, which ones do you resonate with? If you are someone who feels unlucky and gets overwhelmed by stress, reading this list might make you feel depressed, because a number of the answers imply that there are healthy ways to handle stress, and you might not be one of those people — yet!
It is important that you are honest with yourself about who you are and how you react to what life brings you (or throws at you). It’s also important not to compare yourself to others. Comparing is one of the most common things that our minds do, but it’s a strategy that fails. If you compare yourself unfavorably to another, you’ll feel depressed, envious, or jealous. If you compare yourself favorably, believing that you’re just better at most things than others, the act of compa