With Smudge on board we are clean as a whistle
THE European Grand Prix in Valencia signals Formula One's return to the European schedule after an all-too-brief week in Canada.
The race takes place on another street circuit with the teams’ garages housed in buildings that were previously home to the 2007 and 2010 America’s Cup sailing teams.
The weather is always good but the race itself is yet to match the heat generated by the Spanish sun, but it is a race the teams look forward to as it takes place in another city that celebrates the arrival of F1 from the moment the first team members arrive on site.
For Team Caterham, the first person who sees most of the tracks we go to is Graham Smith, universally known as Smudge.
Smudge is our Race Team Co-ordinator and works closely with Team Manager Graham Watson and Jon Daly, Chief Truckie, on all race and test team logistics.
It is almost impossible to say exactly what Smudge does do as he seems to be able to do everything. It might be easier to ask what he cannot do as that will definitely be a shorter list than what he can do.
One of the most experienced people in the pitlane, Smudge has been in F1 since the mid-1980s and has worked with many of the most famous names in F1.
He has performed many roles in his decades in the sport and has now ended up being the man everyone in our team goes to for nearly everything.
If you know you packed a six foot metal pole back at the factory and now you can’t find it at the track, Smudgey will know where it ended up being unpacked.
If you are driving from the team hotel to a circuit you have never been to before, Smudgey will not only know the best way there, he will know two routes; one that avoids the traffic and another that takes you a secret way in that only four people in the world know about.
At the 2012 Mugello test most of the teams arrived at an unfamiliar circuit, but it was Smudgey who the security guards were greeting like a long-lost brother.
It was Smudgey who knew not only where the best local supermarket was, he also knew that the quickest way there was blocked by police so he already had an alternative route sorted.
For the drivers, Smudgey is also invaluable. There is a rumour that Queen Elizabeth II thinks that the whole world smells of fresh paint. The F1 equivalent is that if you are a driver you probably think there is a magic force that means wherever you go you have clean overalls, crash helmets, boots and gloves.
You leave a pile of sweaty race kit in Canada and the next time you need to go to work, anywhere in the world, all your kit is clean, pressed and folded. That magic force is Smudge.
His cleaning responsibilities do not stop with the drivers. At every race Smudge is also responsible for cleaning all the overalls, helmets and boots the pitcrew wear throughout the weekend.
In China 2012, Smudgey had to unpack all their kit whilst wearing a facemask to smother the odour that was coming off the clothes the boys had worn at the previous race in Malaysia.
That race had been very wet and very hot and the pitcrew had just had time to strip out of their soaking wet overalls at the end of the race and change into their post-race hi-vis jackets and shorts to pack up the garages.
No time for niceties, their overalls had then spent two weeks in a sealed container so it was Smudgey that had to deal with the crime scene he faced when he opened up a box containing 35 big lads’ sweaty overalls two weeks later.
There is no equivalent to Smudgey in non-F1 life. With his taste in shirts that is probably a good thing (his choices make Eddie Jordan look reserved) and his blind faith in the future prospects of his beloved West Ham are unlikely to bear fruit. But he is utterly invaluable to the whole team.
Imagine you have someone in your family who just seems to know where everything is all the time, nothing would ever be lost. That person also knows where and when everyone needs to be all the time, so nobody should ever be late again.
That person also knows how to do everything, or knows someone who does, so no time is ever wasted wondering where to go to get something done.
For us that person is the F1 legend that is Smudge.