Thompsons Park.Canton.West Cardiff. Summer 1988
Granny Nav: I'm not helping you out ..so don't even ask
Julie: All the wheels are in and I can't reverse out
Granny Nav: I don't care.I told you this wasn't the car park
Julie: And now there's water pouring in on to my feet and fish in the glove compartment and fish don't even wear gloves
Granny Nav: Haven't you ever heard of fish fingers Captain?
Julie:This is no time for joking around! The water is nearly up to my shins and I paid a fortune for these shoes
Granny Nav: I told you not to drive today..but you wouldn't listen
(Man taps on the window. Julie winds down the window..as the water rushes in)
Julie: Yes? Can I help you? Wow...this water is freezing cold!
Man : ( keeping calm) You seem to have driven into the beautifully tended ornamental pond on the very afternoon of my wedding.
Julie: Lovely day for it.She's a very lucky lady, whoever she is, don't let us stop you
Man: We have to get the car out of the pond or it will be in all the photographs
Julie: I'll put a bow tie on it? No-one will notice
Man: You'll have to get out now the service is due to start any minute
Julie: I have to stay with Granny Nav.She's lost without me
Granny Nav: Hah! Go on you better get out. I've got my 25 yard swimming certificate from before the war.I can save myself
(Man lifting the veil from Julie's face and over her head)
Man: I'm never EVER getting married to you again!
Julie: Glad to hear it...but any chance of having two honeymoons?
The month of May has seen www.eatwithalocal.com attract new members from Denmark, Russia, Malaysia, Madrid, London, Mexico and Dubai. It is amazing how a site that originated in Wales can have such a world wide appeal. Eat with a local connects travellers to local people willing to cook for them in their homes all over the world. There isn't a budget to promote the site, it is either done by word of mouth or through commenting on other social sites.
The feedback has been positive and if a member requests a change in layout it is taken very seriously hence the new look on the 'How it works' page. A host suggested it could be made more user friendly by posting photographs of members of the site actually enjoying food.
It will be interesting to discover how many people will enjoy eating with a local during the Olympics as there are now a great variety of hosts in and around London gearing up for the big event. They want to show visitors to the Olympics a tasty welcome.
I had a wonderful time in Merthyr today at a Redrow Family Fun Day. The sun shone brightly, it was a joy to perform the puppet show in the open air with two beautiful butterflies flititng by now and again. I hope the sun has got his hat on again tomorrow.
Julie is driving down to Cardiff Bay on May Day Bank Holiday
Granny Nav: So where are we off to today then?
Julie: It's a secret.I thought you deserved a day off.You're going to love it.
Granny Nav: ( mumbling) If we get there in one piece
Julie: Oh ye, of little faith!...Let's play that game i like
Granny Nav: Go on then...tell me the rules again.
Julie: You have to say who you would snog, who you would shag and then who you would marry, but in your case, obviously, you are restricted to gadgetry or gizmo's
Granny Nav:( laughing) Well lately i've taken such a fancy to the Blackberry Curve
Julie: So would you snog it or shag it?
Granny Nav: Definitely snog and then maybe i would go back to see the ipad.
Julie: Good Granny Nav - I like your thinking.Who would you shag then?
Granny Nav: Tricky one...( thinks) Yes..i've got it...it has to be The George Foreman lean mean grilling machine...heats up in under a minute.. gives both sides of me a good seeing to at the same time..and there's no mess to clear up after
Julie: Really?...remind me to stop off at B&Q on the way home...and then last but not least you have to say who you would marry.
Granny Nav: Ah, now this one is easy. I'd go for the latest in-dash smartphone-integration system in the 2013 Chevy Malibu. The new head unit features a 7-inch colour touchscreen but it won't have a CD drive. Instead, the new system will use smartphone's apps, such as Pandora Internet radio, to access cloud-based content and navigation.
Julie: Not a sandwich toaster then?
Granny Nav: Honestly Julie - where have you been? Dont you know anything about cars
Julie: I had a nodding dog once..but it kept saying no.
(pulls into the car park)
Julie: Here we are Granny Nav...Here's your special bank holiday treat
Granny Nav: Techniquest!...Oh you are wonderful to your old Granny Nav.Where's my lippy? Im going in.Dont wait up!
(Morning Rush Hour.Driving round a very busy Gabalfa Roundabout - Julie is nervous)
Julie: Granny Nav..Help! I don't know which lane i should be in
Granny Nav: (Into the mirror) Are you talkin' to me?
Julie: Yes..Help me Granny Nav..argh!..someone's cutting me up now..Grrr...( mumbling) bloody 'White Van Man'.Breathe in with hatred and out with love...
Granny Nav: You talkin to me?
Julie: Granny Nav!! What's wrong with you? (she takes the wrong exit) Awh...too late.I'll have to do a dodgy U - turn now...(sighs)
Granny Nav: Loneliness has followed me my whole life,everywhere, in bars, in cars, sidewalks, stores, everywhere
Julie: Sidewalks?!...Oh no,not this again?
Granny Nav: There's no escape from god's lonely man
(Julie gives Granny Nav a firm nudge )
Julie: Are you alright now Granny Nav?
Granny Nav:( disorientated) Oh yes .. I'm so sorry.Was I being Travis Bickle from the classic film 'Taxi Driver' starring Robert Niro?
Julie: I'm afraid you were. Note to self - must take Granny Nav in for a full service.
Julie: Morning Granny Nav..Right! We're off to 'Macarthur Park' today
Granny Nav: Where on earth is that?
Julie: You know - The big shopping centre/quadrant/mall thingummy.
Granny Nav: ( sarcastically) You just don't know do you?
Julie: I put the postcode in didn't I ? Mac..Mc...is it McCartney Park?
Granny Nav: Let me see out the window.
Granny Nav: I have to see where i'm going....
Julie: ( turning Granny Nav round) But what about the satellite link up?
Granny Nav: What satellite? Dont be daft.The open road is my temptress - she always knows the direction she's going in and what's round the corner..the little floozy
Julie: Blah. Blah. Blah.
Granny Nav: Its called Mcarthur Glen...Write that down.
Julie: That's it! You're a star Granny Nav
Granny Nav: Just keep the sun in my right eye ( singing) 'How many roads must a man walk down ....'
Julie:( correcting) 'Drive' down
Granny Nav: Pedant!
Julie: Is this a Bob Dylan moment?
Granny Nav: (singing continued) ...before you call him a man
Julie: Or woman.. or...hermaphrodite
Granny Nav: Shush!
Julie: Well.. this IS the 21st century Granny Nav.
The Adventures of Granny Nav
Julie jumps into the car, parked outside the house. She is full of the joys of Spring
Julie: Morning Granny Nav!
Granny Nav: ( grumpy) Can we stay in today?
Julie: Nope, sorry, i need to go somewhere i've been a million times before but still haven't a clue how to get there
Granny Nav: Is it Pontypridd again?
Julie: ( ashamed) Yes it is ... Yes.
Granny Nav: It's only 8 miles away. Why don't you just put some string down?
Julie: String? String!?... on the A472 to Ponty?
Julie: ALRIGHT!...I knew that
Granny Nav: That's what we did in the war...put string down..elephant tracks they used to call 'em, so you could find your way home. The streets were bombed and we all lost our bearings...no bloody landmarks then i can tell you!....You lot don't know youre born. I lost my Grampy Nav in the Blitz...and he could find his way anywhere!
Julie: Can i make you a cup of tea Granny Nav?
Granny Nav: Yes love....got any Garibaldi?
Julie: I'll have a look....
Granny Nav: Do you remember the way to the kitchen?
Julie: That's not funny