By Chana R. Schoenberger
To the woman sitting next to me on a Delta flight from Washington to Chicago last month: your problem is solved!
I mean you, the traveler who called over a flight attendant to complain, loudly, that the family in the row ahead of us was using an iPad with no headphones, at a barely-audible volume, to entertain an otherwise polite and docile toddler.
AirAsia’s new service allows the kid-phobic to sit in a totally childless section of coach class, close to the front of the plane (for a seat-selection fee, of course).
This should cut down on small feet kicking your seat. But I wonder, how exactly will they prevent the sounds of crying, whining, and, heaven forbid, maniacal laughter from wafting forward in the cabin?
Flying with kids is tough, especially if they’re not yours. I understand my responsibilities as a frequently-flying mother. I bring plenty of toys and books, give my kids carte blanche to eat whatever they want, and even suspend our vaunted family no-TV policy. While in transit, we get out the headphones and a splitter jack, and let the kids watch any (age-appropriate) shows they choose for as long as the plane is in the air — even if it’s 14 hours.
But I do rely on the forebearance of my fellow travelers. It’s likely you will be able to hear my kids talk. They may cry if the pressure hurts their ears during landing. If you’re sitting in the aisle seat, and we’re by the window, we will definitely be excusing ourselves during the flight to use the restroom. And sometimes, preschoolers do kick the seat in front of them before their parents can reach out and stop them. For that, I am truly sorry.
Perhaps you should fly AirAsia. Not flying to Malaysia? Do what my seatmate should have done: bring noise-cancelling headphones. Or get your own private jet.