Nicole: I am watching Happy Potter at the cinema now
Timothy: Happy Potter? Is that a gay version of Harry Potter?
Nicole: I am watching Happy Potter at the cinema now
Kenny: Did you realise you type Happy Potter instead of Harry Potter?
Nicole: Oh shit!!! No wonder someone said I’m watching gay porn?!
Just watched movie Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix yesterday at the Media Screening yesterday. It’s nice, rather enjoyable. I can’t review or judge how good or how bad the movie is, because I have read the book. All I could say is, I expected more.
Why isn't Daniel in the middle?
The actress for Luna Lovegood is cute! I love her so much! Evanna Lynch is her name.
I still love Emma Watson though, she is cute AND pretty!
I have been receiving a lot of anonymous calls recently that really ticks me off.
One particular phone call came to me last night from this number: 03-78036638
Jerk: (spoke in Malay) Hello, ini Nicole ka? (Is this Nicole?) *buzzing buzzing sound*
Nicole: Yes Nicole speaking. Siapa ni? (Who is this?)
Jerk: *buzzing sound* ……… Hel……. Nic…….
Jerk: *more buzzing sound* (phone line must be bad)
Nicole: Hello hello?
Jerk: He….. N…… I….. dari……….
(suddenly phone line clears)
Jerk: Mahai, orang ini hanya tau kata hello hello…. (*vulgar word*, this person only know how to speak hello hello)
Nicole: (Hang up)
You know, sometimes I think Malaysian cannot be any more polite?!
Sometimes it’s good to look like a ‘Banana’ (a Chinese who can’t speak Chinese, mainly converse in English). I never knew someone could actually LOOK like a banana. But then I receive a lot of feedback and comments on my face features that it simply do not portray a person who is capable of speaking Mandarin/Chinese.
Yesterday, I was buying some shoes at Mid Valley Vincci shop because mine has reached the stage where I have to drag my feet against the ground in order to walk in them. ‘Appearing banana-like’ as ever, I made my way to the cashier with my 4 new pair of shoes.
Then I remembered that I didn’t have my Padini card with me, because they never send my new card to me, and I have renewed my card since half a year ago!
So I proceeded to ask the lady at the counter if they could check the status of my card renewal process for me. I spoke in English of course. And because I wanted to wear my new shoes immediately, while waiting for them to call the HQ to ask about my card, I asked the lady at the counter to help me remove the price tags at the bottom of each of new shoes.
The last thing you want is get spotted walking in a pair price-tagged shoes that shouts “I’m so new I have my price tag on and my stupid owner don’t even realise I have my price tag on!”
Frowning, I think, the lady did what I ask. She can choose not to remove it for me of course, but then the customer is always right and I don’t see why is it so bad just to remove the price tags. I mean, isn’t it reasonable that I have my new shoes in tip-top condition, make sure they are shiny and spotless when I buy them?
After returning with my answers, they made a new temporary card for me. When I thought all was well, the cashier spoke to the lady filling out the temp card, in front of me.
Cashier: (In Cantonese) This girl very troublesome. So annoying isn’t it?
Lady: (Cantonese too) She’s alright la, just a bit long-winded.
Nicole: !!! ……… (keep quiet)
Then she turn to me, while handing over my temp card, smile so politely as though nothing has happened and the world is still a perfect place and it is their greatest pleasure to be helping their needy customers.
Hey! Do I look like a Caucasian to you?! I have yellow skin ok?! I bloody speak and understand Cantonese ok?!
I wouldn’t even want to start on the time when my phone rang at 8am in the morning while I was still sleeping soundly in my bed after turning in at 4am.
This Malay delivery guy from City-Link was asking me for direction to my house to send me a parcel. And he was asking if I could direct him to my house from Malim!
OMG, that is like asking me to give directions from Cyberjaya to KL Tower, it is like asking for land directions from Singapore to Thailand, or directions from New York to California route by route, or indicating all the road signs from London to Hull, it is like… like…. directing a blind mouse to his hole hidden behind a cupboard with tons of mouse traps everywhere.
So I told him politely, in my half-standard Malay, that it would be easier that I direct him from Jusco in Melaka (everyone know where is Jusco, it is just after the toll, that bugger just came in through the Ayer Keroh anyway).
Guy: (In Malay) You just tell me how to go from Malim here, cause I am in Malim right now.
Nicole: Sir, I don’t really know where exactly in Malim are you and it is too far from where I am. Why not I just tell you how to get to my place after the toll or Jusco, the directions would be easier.
Guy: (In Malay) No no no… You tell me how to from here. I am here right now, I am leaving now.
Nicole: I know you are there, but it is very difficult to direct you from there. Listen, it’s very easy, you know Jusco right? So from Jusco…
Guy: *annoyed* (pass the phone to his friend and shouting in a distant) Orang ini BODOH sangat, panggil dia beritahu directions…..
Technically, translated to English, he was saying (or rather, scolding) “This person is so STUPID, I asked her to give me directions, she can’t even freaking understand, so god damn stupid, you talk to her!”
*Nicole’s nerve crack*
God damn it! If you are so clever, why not you come here on your own! You called me freaking early in the morning and I have enough patience to describe to you how to get to my house when it is YOUR JOB to know HOW to get to my house because you are a freaking POSTMAN! Yet you are swearing at me and calling me STUPID?????
What kind of attitude is that?
Do you freaking know how freaking far is Malim to my place?? Oh wait?! You don’t know! Because you don’t even know the roads in Melaka!
Yet before hearing out my directions, you threw the phone to your friend thinking I am some kind of idiot who don’t know simple Malay, when you don’t even know a single word in English and I have to accommodate myself to you!!!
City-Link!!! NEVER EVER USE THAT SERVICE, EVER!!! The people are crap, they are rude, they don’t speak English, they don’t know the roads, they swear at people and they don’t let you sleep!!!
Malaysians are ever so patient and cheerful.
Finally I would like to finish this entry with one last phone call.
Iphone is mine!
Anonymous: Hello, is this Nicole?
Nicole: Yes, I am. May I know who’s on the line?
Anonymous: (breathing very hard)
Anonymous: (heavy breathing)
Nicole: Err…. Anyone there?
Anonymous: (more heavy breathing)
Anonymous: (soft moaning sound and if I am not mistaken, some rubbing-on-something-wet *slop slop slop* kinda of sound that almost resemble… mm… Jerking?!)
(Throw phone on the floor and run out of the room into the living room screaming head off in disgust before running into housemate’s room)
Nicole: EW EW EW EW………………………………..!!! *repeat this 10000000 times*
I think Malaysians are too friendly sometimes.