Went there in '99, but not during this trip. Now, what did we do in Sentosa? Oh, right, there was that cable car ride. Which may have been good if I hadn't been fighting the urge to jump off (does this happen to anyone else?) And that underwater aquarium- which looks like plastic, and no, not half so pretty as in the pictures. Actually I'd have even settled for quarter as pretty, but no. Then that dancing fountain- now you seriously don't want to see another dancing fountain, do you?
Christmas Lights on Orchard Road
We went to see the famed Orchard Road Christmas Light-up almost as soon as we got off the flight. So big disappointment. First indoctrination into the Way of the Singapore Goverment: Hype. It wasn't all bad, though. I espied Borders and also the Apple Centre- useful for future reference. Besides, our guide on the open top 'Hippo Tour' bus was quite funny, and tried to get everyone to play 'Hippo Idol'. The winner, he announced, would get a 'limited edition' duck.
Most synthetic, orchestrated, fake tourist attraction you could ever hope to visit. Even in Singapore. The whole place is designed to look like an African jungle lodge. Contributing to the atmosphere were wire-gauze-and-serial-light beasts of the jungle, and attendants in lungis. Oh, also Haagen Dazs. So, here's what happens. You pays an extortionate S$ 28 for a night safari by train through (how exciting) Himalayan terrain, marshland, Malayan jungle, etc. You may or may not get to see what you've come to see: animals. Whatever animals we saw looked drugged (Now we know what S'pore does with all the narcotics it seizes). A couple of vultures looked stuffed. And the tigers there have been adopted by (you'll never guess) Tiger Balm! As a bonus, you get to see a show called 'Creatures of the night', where said Creatures of the night-Otters, *insert here creature with unpronounceable Malay name* and a python (they're nocturnal, really?).
Singapore Metal and Gems Factory
The moment you see row upon row of tourist buses, you know it's time to do an about turn and flee as quickly as possible. They sell here anything semi-precious stone. Lapis-la-zuli globes, ugly 'paitings' of birds, (some of these have lights which glow when you go near them and clap. They also make twittering noises.) chess sets, jade sculptures, jewellery etc. Our fellow Indian tourists are mightily impressed. Everyone's busy taking photographs. My mother overheard one Bengali tourist remark that buying just one item from the place would give her jeebon mukti. We manage to choose the least ugly piece available and run.
Boat Ride on the Singapore River
More like a canal really. Go, if you want a very scratchy and disembodied voice point out to you the landmarks of Singapore such as the Merlion (that ugly thing that spouts water from its mouth we've all seen in pictures- only its uglier in the flesh) and S'pore's only suspension bridge (barely 100m across). You also get to see a different view of the skyscrapers you've already seen from the road. Don't gag.
You wont be able to buy anything, unless you're super-duper rich. But do go to Kinokuniya bookstore, and the food court in the basement. More on that later.
I went expecting great things- utterly, utterly disappinted. Even Landmark here would have a better movie collection. But I did find some CD box set at an unbelievable price of 5 for Rs.500. So, not entirely wasted, I suppose.
Yes, yes it's a legend and all that. But sadly, standards have fallen- the food tastes awful. It's the South Indian version of McD, and a none too clean one at that. For good South Indian food, go to Raj Cafe down the road from Mustafa. Clean, affordable and friendly service too!
Jurong Bird Park
The flamingoes were pretty, but otherwise can't think of anything nice to say about it.
Don't try the new Godiva Chocolate drink. It's a complete waste of Godiva chocolate.
Don't go at all- unless you want to shop. In the end, it's all about the shopping. Not the sightseeing.
So what to do in Singapore, apart from shopping, you ask? Next post.