Group caters to the social and emotional needs of the terminally ill
THE news came like a hammer blow for mother-of-three Norasmah Eunos: Final-stage colon cancer that has spread to the liver; a 50 per cent chance of surviving surgery. Madam Norasmah, 45, was inconsolable for three weeks after receiving the grim diagnosis in 2005. The administrative officer says: “I was crying, why me? I jog four times a week, I control my diet and I always do volunteer work. What is going to happen to my children if I die? My youngest girl was only 10 then.”
Fortunately, the operation went well. And she found hope after joining The Revival Connection, a support group for advanced and recurrent cancer patients at the National Cancer Centre Singapore (NCCS). She met other terminally ill patients who were still up and about, laughing and joking, making the best of their remaining time – and surviving well beyond their estimated lifespans.
The group was founded in 2005 by accountant Helen Hee, who was diagnosed with cervical cancer and had two relapses before dying in 2009, and housewife Florence Heng, who had breast cancer that spread to her bones, liver and pancreas and died shortly after the group was formed. Both women wanted to do something for those fighting lengthy and often losing battles with cancer. They remain an inspiration to Madam Norasmah.
“The doctor gave Helen six months to live, but she managed to survive five years. And she was very active, cheerful and always helping other people, and that gave me hope that I can survive longer,” she says. Madam Norasmah’s cancer returned in 2007 and she is still undergoing chemotherapy. Small gestures of support, such as friends from the group popping by to chat while she is undergoing treatment, always lift her spirits.
Dr Gilbert Fan, 52, the NCCS’ head of psychosocial oncology, says that worldwide, there is very little support for such terminal patients. He says he knows of only one other such support group, and that is in Taiwan. “These patients are different in the sense they may not recover. And Helen and Florence wanted to be able to talk about their anger and fears. When you talk about something like death and relapses all the time, you become less fearful of it,” he says.
The group, which started with fewer than 20 members and has about 50 now, meets once every two months for social and therapeutic activities. These include outings and workshops where they learn how to cope with their cancer and how to tell their family and friends the bad news. Each time a member dies, social workers involved with the group will hold a “debrief”, where members can share their thoughts and feelings about the dead person to help them through the grieving process. The NCCS also runs seven other support groups for patients with other types of cancer, for bereaved spouses who have lost their other halves to cancer, and children of cancer patients. It also has groups for Mandarin and Malay-speaking cancer patients.
Besides the hospitals, charities such as the Singapore Cancer Society, the Breast Cancer Foundation and the Children’s Cancer Foundation run support groups for patients or parents of children suffering from cancer. The tone of these sessions is not grim but rather a celebration of life, says Madam Norasmah. “Our meetings are not sad. We talk and do happy stuff together. And talking relieves our burden.”