She didn't want to hurt him with the truth he was asking for. How could she lay there in his arms and tell him that if given the choice to be able to run away on her own or to be by his side, she couldn't decide? Antonin wanted to hear that she'd changed her mind, that her time with him since she returned in May showed her that he was all she ever wanted and desired. It was cruel to lie to a man who was being so vulnerable. She had the power to control him, to crush him with only her words. His weakness, indeed.