"That being said... I knew it was wrong. So I told her I was not right for her, she deserved better. We still decided to look into whatever this magical phenomenon is, but separately. The next day I had a session with Severus and it didn’t end well. I blacked out, again. I ended up in the hospital wing with McGonagall, Pomfrey, and Granger nearby. My new rules for these sessions with Severus are that Granger has to attend with me. Apparently part of her rules for my probation are that she is in charge of my well being. She says she will cast a silencing charm but those sessions are fucking brutal. It’s like tearing out the worst experiences you’ve ever had piece by piece and going through them all over again. I guess either way I don’t have a choice as Severus made it clear that if I don’t do this, my mind will rip itself apart and I’ll practically become my Aunt Bella."