"Firstly, I’m going to castrate him," Hermione announced. "Then transfigure his cock until it’s about nine-feet tall. Then I’m going to put a sharp tip on the end. Then, I’ll strip him naked, put his arsehole onto the cock-spike, and let gravity slowly drive it through his body, until his own bell-end comes out of his mouth and his ginger pubes - which I’ll transfigure into razor-wire - scratch his throat to pieces on the way through. It will take a few hours and I’m thinking of getting a bottle of wine, and some cheese and biscuits ... and settling in to watch every brutal second of it."