By two, she couldn't bear to spend another moment in the empty bed. It was too cold and depressing. Yes, she'd spent many nights in their marriage alone for various reasons, but this was different. She was worried that he was out there in the scary world doing something foolish that would get himself killed. Would it be her fault? Probably. Even though she knew intellectually that nothing she did could actually cause him to feel one way or the other, it was all by his personal choice what he experienced, she couldn't help feeling guilty. Maybe it would've been better if she just continued to lie to him about her future plans.