She didn't have an answer for that. When she'd made that bargain, she'd never expected to be in this position with him. She'd been sure that he was happily engaged, that he would be angry and hurt and they'd have a confrontation when they saw each other again, sure. But she hadn't expected a chance at being with him again. But... now she had it. It was right there, he was right there, in front of her, begging to be heard. She would hurt him all over again, and worse, by dying. She didn't know it was possible to despise herself more than she had these last months, but apparently, it was. Her eyes watered, emotion rising in her as she tried to offer him something, anything worthwhile.