Is it better, Sirius muses late at night, awake from another nightmare, if he and Moony  had  been in love, and Sirius had ruined it, or is it better if they hadn’t, and Sirius had just allowed Remus to crush his heart in his hands until he had retaliated tenfold? Is it better to be in a world where Moony is gone, just like James and Lily, or a world where Moony is alive, but wants nothing to do with him?