Turning the taps off of the shower, she tried to forget how easy it had almost been to allow Antonin to possess her in more ways than one. She didn't want to think about the past, but without much to look forward to in her future, she struggled not looking backwards. It was sheer madness to get wrapped up too much in events she could not change. If she allowed herself to think back on the more pleasant aspects of her life with Antonin, she feared that the hardships she was experiencing on the run would encourage her to turn back to him. Maybe he wouldn't kill her. Maybe he wouldn't even hurt her, but she wanted so much more from life than what he could offer.