remember. I don’t have to carry the war and the pain with me all the time." His hand stopped, buried in Remus" hair. "You do. I love you for explaining it all to me, the happy stuff. I love you even more when you explain the bad stuff, because I know it hurts. But what I mean is I forget it hurts, sometimes, because I have lost the memories that would hurt me too. I’m sorry, Moony, I may have been selfish in making you relive it all. I’m sorry that I can’t say their names without a thought, I can’t give them that respect." He shook his head, the pain hazing his thoughts. Sirius reclaimed them, turning to Remus once more. "I’m sorry that we were apart for so long, that you thought I was capable of doing those things. I’m sorry that I wasn’t clearer with you throughout the war, that I didn’t tell you everything you deserved to know. I’m sorry that I am only a shell of the man I used to be, because you deserve the people we were fifteen years ago, you deserve the me that parades around without a care in the world." He kissed Remus on the lips, a chaste kiss that held everything said and unsaid. "I’m sorry we have to live like