Thinking about Antonin being in the same country was difficult enough. She loathed the man every bit as much as she respected him. To remember the parts of him that she didn't completely despise, she had to think of him as two people: her teacher and her husband. Perhaps it wouldn't make sense to anyone else if she tried to explain, but it worked for her. When her husband frustrated her enough to make her seriously contemplate murdering him, she pushed aside all that she hated to focus on him only as her teacher and revered mentor. Her mind could get messy and confusing at times. No one understood that better than she did.