As much as Harry hates that year, there is a roiling, sickening fear in him at the prospect of having to return "home’ earlier if the school is closed. He does not want to imagine it, but it comes in his dreams. What if the school is never reopened? He doesn’t want to be with the Dursleys. Then, the truth comes out, and maybe that’s worse than the fear, because more doubts slip through the cracks. How could Dumbledore have possibly known to warn him about the "aid always given to those loyal,’ if he didn’t know what was going on in the school? And if he knew what was going on, why didn’t he stop it? But Harry pushes those thoughts away and does what he must. He fights, and he wins, and he lays down to die from the poison in his veins. Guiltily, he finds himself relieved at the darkness coming to claim him, but it never does. He lives, and though he thanks Fawkes, in his heart, he doesn’t mean it.