"I said, it was never my intention. Not with you, anyway," what he meant is:  "I was hurting you, Granger, because I was young and believed in blood privilege. But right now I bleed, my blood was mixed with dirt and ashes, and I have no intention of making your wounds deeper. Not anymore. I just want to heal mine. Oh, and you remind me of a doe and I don’t know what to do with myself because I didn’t want to hurt you this year, Granger. I swear. And yet it seems like this is the only thing I do.’