"I always am before a mission," he answered casually and Hermione realised the meaning of that with a sudden sharp shock – missions as a Death Eater, the missions he went on as a Death Eater when he probably saw innocent people killed or tortured, or maybe tortured them himself – her brain jabbered frantically at her. His past had a way of arising in Hermione’s head most unexpectedly. Most of the time she just...forgot about it. And then he said something like that and it all hit her like a truck. She clearly still hadn’t gotten used to it.