"I - well. I won't give you details because I doubt you want to hear them any more than I want to say them but... I initiated... things. With him. I asked him to. Nearly attacked him, really and he -" She cut herself off, seemed to recalibrate before she continued. "I'm not offering any of this as an excuse. Because there isn't one. I'm not stupid enough to ask for forgiveness, and I'm not naive enough to believe you'll offer it. Nothing will make it okay, I know that."