"Hermione Granger." I reply, on autopilot, still trying to process what an absolute clusterfuck this is. I knew I wasn’t in the canon universe given the Girl-who-lived, but I never anticipated that I would be in a fanfiction universe. Especially not one like this, as the marriage-bond fics tend to universally be the "independent’ Harry type fics in which he has to face off against the manipulations of an evil Dumbledore. I never gave serious considerations to Dumbledore as an actual threat. I am entirely unprepared to spend the next seven years of my life living under the thumb of a machiavellian mastermind.