He kisses me one last time before shutting the door in my face. I walk towards my room, my lips feel swollen and I feel dirty. I can’t raise any suspicions with what I am going to do. In my room I undress, shower and redress in night clothes. Before making my way to the library I have to make sure everyone's gone to bed. I spent some time in front of the fire. It is easy to stick my hand in the flames and slowly it starts to crawl over my skin, it is not powerful enough to go past my wrist, but it is a beginning. I cup it in front of me, keeping it burning away from the bigger flames.