Remus hadn't wondered, at the time, why Sirius had been so harsh to Peter for getting them spotted, throwing them unprepared into a firefight. James had been making tea with shaking hands while Sirius yelled and Remus tried to patch everyone together. Peter had never tried again to follow them into their war; James and Sirius had killed people for the first time that night, and Peter had nearly been one of them when he didn't duck fast enough. Remus had never wondered why Sirius had gotten used to lethal combat so much more easily than James, never wondered what it meant that Sirius could wrap a faceless Death Eater around a fence spike and laugh. He'd been too busy wondering where James" laughter had gone. And then -