Instead, about a week after Remus decides to semi-move in with Sirius, Remus hears Sirius scream himself awake ("James! No, no, James—") and something inside him breaks. He should go up there and comfort his friend, he knows, remind him that there are still people who care about him—that Harry is still out there—but instead, he changes and slips out the door as quietly as he can, the sound of James’ name echoing in his ears. When he’s far enough into the woods behind the property, Remus apparates to one of the wizarding clubs he used to frequent before France. He’s barely dressed for the scene, but some quick transfiguration and glamours fix that, and before long the bouncer is letting him in and Remus is losing himself in drinks and a man is pressing against him on the dance floor, then in the bathroom, then offering him something to take before he takes Remus home.