She finds herself missing Malfoy too, craving the illusion of security his presence had given her on his last visit. She still feels sick to her stomach over what Malfoy had done to her – had been forced to do to her during the visit that Nott had been there for, when she lets herself dwell on it. But she also understands that right now some minor violations are better than what could be happening. Malfoy has saved her life, and while he has hurt her...well, she saw the sick, horrified shame in his eyes. She knows that he didn't want to do it. She believes that he wants to help her. She believes that the arrogant, cowardly boy from Hogwarts has become a man who regrets the evil he had been involved in. She has to believe him, because if she doesn't, she may as well kill herself now. But she does believe him.