"I guess I’ve had them since 1st year, but never that bad and not frequently. But the past 2 years have been the worst time of my life and I know it’s never going to be a good enough excuse, but I was so scared all the time. I was scared from the moment I’d wake up to the second I’d sleep, if I slept. I had nightmares every night, everything I’ve seen and done horrifies me and I know it’s never going to stop. I can’t ever stop. I will never forgive myself for everything I’ve done.’ Draco looked on the verge of tears saying this but he just couldn’t, he wouldn’t not let her feel sorry for him, he would never deserve her kindness.