She couldn't be certain if her extreme feeling of guilt about her responsibility in the destruction of the Jordan family was a good thing or not. On the one hand, it proved she still possessed a modicum of humanity deep down inside her battered and bruised shell somewhere. As much as her training and then her dark deeds were designed to make her impervious to human emotions and that inconvenient thing known as her conscience, there was still something of who she used to be in existence. And on the other hand, it was dangerous to even contemplate putting someone else or their family ahead of her need to remain alive. If she didn't put her needs first, who else would?