"I boarded the train ..." Harry murmured, his voice childlike, infinitesimally little. Like apologising for a scolding he could not avoid before it came. "I was going to go on. I wanted to. I left you behind, consciously. Gave up ... on life ... on you. And I'd have never known ... never known what this was. How it felt. How wonderfully amazing it felt. Just to know it, whether you feel anything for me or not. My entire existence would have been a sham without the knowing, a waste of bone and sinew. Just to be able to feel this for you ... it makes me even more ashamed that I might not have ever known about it."