From the first day he came home from wherever it was he found them, Hermione had a love-hate relationship with the tonics and drugs he gently insisted she take when she got confused. Paranoia convinced her in the beginning that he was simply trying to find another way in which to control her. There was a constant power struggle in their marriage. She wasn't content to just be one of those women who looked to her husband to make the decisions for her. That wasn't how her Muggle mother operated and she would be damned if she would just let Antonin keep her from being her own person. Even when she heard a small voice in the back of her mind trying to convince her that he was only trying to help her because he loved her, she was afraid to take what was offered. And then, after a while, there were times when she craved the potions. Like a Muggle addict desperate for another hit of their vile drugs to keep existing in a fucked up, painful world, she sought out and begged for the sweet release they gave her.