Maybe it was ridiculous to dwell on the loss of her friend after so many years. There was nothing that anyone could do to bring him back. She had to keep moving forward, keep looking ahead. All dwelling on the past did was rob a person of their future. While she didn't have the first clue what to expect for the rest of her life, she knew there was no sense in thinking only of what couldn't be. Didn't people go mad doing that? She couldn't afford that. Too many years with her mind under control had taken their toll. Part of her feared that she wouldn't ever be fully back to normal again. Likely her mind was well and truly fried.