Theo sucked in a shaky breath. "I know that was what you said but the reality was so much harsher than that." His eyes were shining with unshed tears. "I’m weak Harry. I’m not you. I had to kill even the thought of you in my mind because the moment that things got hard, and oh how they got hard, I couldn’t let myself even for a second believe that running to you was an option. I didn’t want to put you in danger." He looked away. "By the time the war was over I believed it."