hate you, because all of my hatred had been wrapped up in losing my best friends." Remus closes his eyes. "When you... when you kicked me out, I didn’t hate you. I was angry, and hurt, and maybe with more time or if we hadn’t been in a war I would have hated you. But I hadn’t. I was just hurt you didn’t trust me, angry you’d let paranoia get in the way of our friendship." Remus opens his eyes and continues, talking to the floor. "The hatred... that only really appeared after. But when I discovered you hadn’t done all that, I... I didn’t know how to feel. Didn’t know if I still hated you. Didn’t know if I still cared for you." Remus hears Sirius’ breath hitch, but he refuses to look up at him. "And that... that’s the problem. I don’t know how to feel about you, because you... you broke my heart, Sirius. You took nearly a decade of friendship and... And I feel like I can’t hate you for it because you’ve more than atoned for all your sins. What is the point of not forgiving you when you spent five years in a place worse than hell? What is the point of still dwelling on a fight that occurred when we were young and afraid and prepared to die at any moment? We are all we have left, and I want to be your friend. I want to help you, and I don’t want those ten years of friendship to be broken. But I... I’m afraid we’re both too broken to fix anything, let alone our friendship."