"It was supposed to be soon." Now was the time to make his confessions. "It wasn’t supposed to be immediate. If I didn’t take time to argue with Sirius we would’ve made it. If I’d kicked Snape out the moment he’d shown up, we would’ve made it. If I had sent Evan and Barty instead of insisting I come, we would’ve made it." He looked up, gaze boring through James rather than settling on him. He would not allow himself that indulgence. "If I had been a little less selfish. If I had been quicker. If I had been better. There are so many ifs James." Storm locked deadly onto earth, the commotion outside ignored. "I had so many choices. And I made all the wrong ones. All the wrong ones." His wand was tearing scratches into his skin, dancing across the mark singing beneath his flesh. "I always made the wrong choices." 