"I regretted it. The moment I reached the continent I regretted it. But... God, Draco. I was so lost. Leaving you, and everyone else behind made it worse, of course. That feeling. But... I don't even know. I suppose I thought that if I could just get myself some help, get myself to focus on something, it would be better. That gnawing, aching thing inside me would be soothed and then I could come home. And so I went to Russia and fell back on old habits. Threw myself into studies and coursework. Obtained a dual Mastery and then a third in... wait." She held her hands up, palms facing outwards. "I have to do this in order."