Aleksander had always listened, even when she screamed in rage, even when she cried, even when she held a blade to his neck. The duplicity of him gives her a constant sense of whiplash. This manm who wants to control her and that yet can’t stop wanting her whole at the same time, especially when they disagree. She would be lying, again, if she said she doesn’t enjoy it a bit, their constant fighting, different from the way she and Mal fought. Even with such high stakes, even when death could have been at the other hand of her blade, Aleksander had hurt her, of course he had, but never in the way Mal did. Aleksander had never made a secret of his intentions, while Mal had claimed to love her and want her best and then used that against her, cheating on her and criticising her powers. Nothing Aleksander did comes close to the pain that caused her on a daily basis.