Had Sirius ever apologised for that terrible night, that break up filled with accusations Sirius only half-meant? Had they even been together romantically? Had Remus loved him? Sirius can’t remember; he can’t remember seeing Remus again after that night, but he also can’t remember much of Remus before, either, only some snippets; Remus slipping out of bed while Sirius pretended to be asleep; Remus stirring with a frown on his face while Sirius pressed a tender kiss to his forehead before leaving on a mission; Remus coming home after weeks of being who-knows-where, refusing to say a word to Sirius but pressing him against the wall, then the couch, then leaving Sirius spent and shaking still in their living room while he slipped into the bathroom to shower. Had there been love there, at all, or just that ache in Sirius’ chest he still remembers, that desperate longing he has had since fifth year, that knowledge that he would do anything for Moony, if only he asked? 