But if she were aware, then she had to know, too, that James sitting here making smoke-rings for Harry was a waste. When there was a war it didn't matter whether they were safe here, he ought to have been off with Sirius, wreaking havoc among the Death Eaters. He ought to have been fighting, and so should she. And so no matter how safe she could convince herself they were, she still had to cope with that little voice in her head, the one that said, What could possibly go wrong?, and wanted to know - she could never stand not knowing - why they were sitting here. Sitting here while Sirius was fighting. While Remus and Peter and Emmeline and Edgar and Marlene (no, not Marlene, don't think about Marlene) fought a war. Dumbledore's orders, she would have to tell herself, over and over again, and she trusted Dumbledore, of course she did, but his orders seemed hollow when people were (maybe) (please no) dying.