For the next few weeks, Remus contemplates visiting Sirius at St. Mungo’s. His internal debates go something like this: Remus, lying in bed, weighed down by all his guilt, thinks that maybe he should visit Sirius at St. Mungo’s, so that he can see with his own two eyes that Sirius is alive and innocent, and Sirius can see a friendly face to help with his healing. Then Remus remembers that his face may not be a friendly one; they are, after all, ex-lovers, or not even, and the last time Remus had spoken to Sirius, he had been kicked out of their shared flat, accused of being a traitor, and told to never come near him ever again, "or I swear I will kill you, Lupin, don’t think I won’t." Then Remus will reason that Sirius knows now that he wasn’t the traitor, that Peter was, and Sirius tried to kill Peter, and besides Sirius has not been given his wand back and is in St. Mungo’s and probably couldn’t very well kill him even if he still wanted to. Then Remus wonders what good it would do, going all the way to a hospital to visit a man who wants to kill him and who Remus had spent five years thinking had killed all their friends. By the time this debate is over, Remus finds he is too tired to get up anyway, or it is too late in the day, or that he first needs some tea, or breakfast—lunch—dinner—until excuse after excuse allow him to return to bed, where he smokes and stares at the ceiling instead of sleeping, thinking about Sirius and James and Lily and Peter.