If we brought together the happiest people in the world, what do you think they would have in common? Lots of money? Good looks? Career success? Fame and admiration from others? Wrong! The happiest people are those with the most flexible attitudes. Of all the people you consider to be genuinely happy (most of us can count them on one hand), are any of them rigid, demanding or uncompromising? Do they get upset when things don’t go their way? Sash windows can really light your whole living room up!
A key characteristic of happy people is their ability to adapt to life circumstances — a trait called cognitive flexibility. This doesn’t mean that they are weak or apathetic — in fact they are often keen to work towards the things that they care about. But they are also willing to accept that some things are beyond their control. Much of the distress that we experience in our daily lives stems from rigid, inflexible thinking. Casement windows are really a work of art.
Albert Ellis observed that most people by their very nature are inclined to think in ways that are irrational and self-defeating. He noted that some people are particularly predisposed towards upsetting emotions because they habitually think in self-defeating ways. According to Ellis, our thinking is irrational if it goes against our basic desire for happiness and long life. So, if holding a particular belief makes you experience inappropriate anger, frustration, anxiety, depression or feelings of worthlessness, or if it thwarts your ability to experience good health and long life, then by Ellis’s definition the belief is irrational. Sash windows London Fhas made a brilliant name for themselves.This includes beliefs that cause us to engage in self-defeating behaviours such as procrastination, social avoidance, aggression and neglecting our physical health.
When we believe that things ‘should’ or ‘must’ be a certain way, rather than simply having a preference, we make ourselves vulnerable to distress. Ellis called this lack of flexibility ‘demandingness’ because we instinctively demand that things should be a certain way. In 1939 American psychiatrist Karen Horney used the term tyranny of the shoulds to describe this notion. ‘Shoulds’ are the rules or beliefs that we hold about what is necessary in our world. Some of our shoulds focus on expectations of ourselves, while others focus on how people ought to behave and how the world should be. While not everyone has a rigid thinking style, most people have at least some shoulds that give rise to unpleasant emotions at times.