What does Continuing Bonds mean?
The concept of ‘Continuing Bonds’ in grief is something many people experiencing bereavement can probably relate to. In short, it’s the official term for the idea that grief isn’t a traditional linear process with different stages. Instead, it’s with you forever, but you adapt and change over time.
The theory of Continuing Bonds supports the idea that we will always be connected to our loved ones. And when a loved one dies, we slowly find ways to adjust to life without them. We redefine the relationship with that person, which allows for a Continued Bond that will endure (in varying degrees) throughout your life.
Why is it important, and how can it help?
Continuing ties to loved ones in this way is not only a normal, human process, but it is also an important part of the grief experience. Instead of detachment as the outcome of grief, Continuing Bond theory means that human attachment is a normal process, even after death.
Ideas for ways you can Continue Bonds…
Journaling – sometimes, writing our feelings down can be much easier than talking about them. Writing down what we’re going through in the form of a journal is a lovely way to continue the bond you had with a loved one.
Visiting places of rest – many people find this comforting. They might like to sit and envisage speaking to them or perhaps just taking a moment of quiet to reflect.
Speak about them or to them – as above, this is something many people do, and it can bring a lot of comfort during those times when you miss them.
Relive memories – you could do this by keeping photos around that make you feel connected with a loved one. Remembering those times together helps us relive memories and the impact loved ones had on our lives.
Maintain rituals from their life or your life together – If there was a tradition you had together, you could keep it up yourself and imagine them there with you. This could tie in with speaking to them or visiting their place of rest as a way to still feeling connected with them.
Jewellery – Memorial jewellery is a popular and beautiful way to keep a loved one close. If you’re looking for something meaningful that you can treasure forever, our memorial and bereavement jewellery has been sympathetically created to offer a beautiful way of remembering somebody and keeping them close forever. We offer a variety of different memorial jewellery collections, including ashes memorial jewellery (both self-fill and jewellery made from ashes) and printed memorial jewellery and handwriting memorial jewellery.
Links to helpful websites and resources
If you want to find out more about Continuing Bonds theory in grief, please visit:
You might already know that we at Hand on Heart work with an amazing charity called Grief Encounter.
Grief Encounter works closely with individuals, families, schools and professionals to offer a way through the anxiety, fear and isolation so often caused by grief. Their services include one-to-one counselling, group workshops, residentials and family fun days. They also run a national, free and confidential helpline and instant web chat called grieftalk, together with a dedicated Trauma Team for support following a sudden or traumatic bereavement. As our charity of the year, we’re so delighted to support them and the incredible work they do. To find out more, please visit their website: https://www.griefencounter.org.uk/
We hope we’ve offered an interesting perspective about Continuing Bonds theory in grief and that if it’s something you or a loved one is currently experiencing to take comfort in it being completely normal and a healthy way to grieve.