Bullying is not normal behavior.
"Although it's existed for a long time, it's not normal behavior," said Dr. Bradley W. Freeman, a psychiatrist at the Vanderbilt Psychiatric Hospital in Nashville.
Freeman was the featured speaker for a Methodist Hospital continuing medical education program on "Childhood Bullying" held Wednesday.
In general, he said, bullying is not normal behavior because the motives are often anti-social in nature, the outcomes are detrimental to bullies and victims, and usually the aggression displayed by bullies is unjustified and lacks motivation.
Bullying takes different forms, Freeman said. Boys tend to use more physical violence and target a social group, while girls are more likely to verbally bully a specific target. Cyber bullying is an issue for boys and girls.
"It doesn't take someone who can bench press 200 pounds to bully someone else these days," he said. "It's a keystroke or a send button on a cellphone."
Bullies typically have conduct disorders behaviors. They don't feel the need to abide by social rules or morals and tend to lack empathy and remorse. They are at increased risk for academic problems and legal issues.
Many bullies also have been exposed to violence in the past, either as the
recipient or as a witness to it in their household. Kids who bully most likely lack parental supervision or positive parent modeling, Freeman said.
"Bullies will try to make other people feel less powerful or good because they don't feel good," he said.
Victims are more mouse-like, he said. They tend to be quiet, cautious, sensitive, insecure, socially isolated and depressed.
"They are unlikely to retaliate, which is one of the main things that make them victims because if they retaliate, they are probably not going to be bullied as easily," Freeman said.
Like bullies, victims can also face abuse at home. Unlike bullies, who are often resilient to several mental health diagnoses, victims are at risk for depression and self harmful behaviors.
The youths most susceptible to social behavior problems and substance abuse are the kids who are both bullies and victims, Freeman said. These kids are often pals of the bully. While they participate in bullying others, the bully also taunts them.
Bystanders who witness bullying may also be negatively affected. The bystanders are at an increased risk for guilt, depression and anxiety.
Adults who suspect a child has been bullied should be direct in their questioning, Freeman said. Adults should also make sure their questions are clear and use language the child will understand.
"There's no reason to beat around the bush," he said. "There's no time for it and kids, particularly adolescents, know what you are getting at."
Freeman advises adults to ask children if they have been bullied, do they get teased, what are there safety nets if they get bullied, how many friends they have at school and if they feel suicidal.
He said he is sometimes asked if asking about suicide plants the idea in kids head and puts them at higher risk.
"Studies have shown that's not the case," he said. "So you need to ask, ask, ask."
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