In Andrew Pham's Catfish and Mandala, An is disconnected from his Vietnamese culture, but also from his position in the Pham family. Though he is the eldest male, his sister Chi takes the masculine first born role that is supposed to be his. On page 189, he explains that he has the privileges of the first born son, but he felt they should have been hers. He even states that he viewed her as an older brother. Before the family moves to America, Chi already relates more with her masculine side, which she proves to An by showing she can pee just like a man (216). When the Pham family arrives in America, Chi continues with her responsible role by helping the family. She takes care of their youngest sibling at the beach, accepts the beatings of their father, and even runs away to protect the family when he is prosecuted. Chi makes the majority of the sacrifices for the family, which is what the eldest son should do out of filial piety. Instead, An claims he was a "street urchin" and does not assume any greater responsibilities in the family. After Chi commits suicide, he is still unable to take his proper place. He even leaves his family to take a bike trip to Vietnam, which is not what the eldest son should do. Vietnamese culture expects the eldest son to take care of the parents as they age. By leaving his family to travel and question his own cultural identity, he is placing himself before his family obligations. Even when he is in Vietnam, his masculinity is constantly questioned. On page 212, he writes about how the men he meets on the train laugh at his frailty, "like they always do". An's journey to Vietnam is not only to rediscover his culture, but also to test his masculinity and help him find his position in his family.