Sri Matre Namaha
Sarmadayini – The One Hundred & Twenty Fifth name in Lalitha Sahasranamam.
sarmam(=sukham) datum silamasyah (=sarmam dadati sa)
She who confers happiness
She who gives pleasures
The word sarma means happiness. She always bestows happiness on her devotees
Sharma means happiness. She confers happiness on Her devotees. Conferring happiness is her habit and quality as She is the Divine Mother.
Here sakthi the godess is looked upon as the female counterpart of every man. So when we say she gives pleasures means she sets us into the path of family life and leads the man to moksha.At times, Hindu texts reduce our aspirations to three: dharma (“virtue”), material gain, and love or pleasure.
Dharma is the one that provides the underpinning for the others, for the concept of dharma establishes an ideal of behavior, religion, and ethics. As such, if we are living appropriately at the various stages of life, we are always doing our dharma. Etymologists might be interested to find that the word comes from the root dhr, meaning “to sustain.” This is fitting; dharma is the moral law that sustains the individual and, ultimately, human society. The great Hindu epic Mahabharata states the essence of its teachings: “With uplifted arms I cry, none heeds; from dharma, material gain and pleasure flow; then, why is not dharma pursued? Neither for the sake of pleasure, nor out of avarice, no, not even for the sake of one’s life should one give up dharma; dharma stands alone for all time; pleasure and pain are transitory.” The passage is meaningful on several levels.
When the Mahabharata states that fulfilling ethical duties will lead to material rewards and pleasures, it means not only in this life, but in heaven, too. In the epic Ramayana, attributed to the sage Valmiki, it says, “From dharma issue profit and pleasure; one attains everything by dharma; it is dharma which is the essence and strength of the world.” Even those who live large lives of outsized pleasure are called upon to follow the duties of dharma. Kings must observe dharma and enforce it among their subjects. A king who follows the injunctions of dharma is called a royal sage, for his rule is based on moral principles. The Lawbook of Yajnavalkya states that where there is a conflict between righteousness and material advantage, dharma, and artha, dharma comes first. According to Hinduism, our many loves and or pleasures (kama) are also subject to dharma. A well-known passage in the Bhagavad Gita (7.11) shows that desire is consistent with dharma. Lord Krishna speaks, “I am the power of those who are strong when this power is free from passions and selfish desires. I am desire when this is pure, when this desire is not against righteousness.” The Hindu ideal does not preach abstinence from pleasure; but love should be chaste, regulated by considerations of morality and material well-being.
Such a regulated moral pleasure is what is described here as dharma of life and in marriage every sakthi (woman) is the lalithambika or the concept of devi. so what is marriage according to hinduism.The Hindu marriage is not really a social contract but a religious sacrament. It results in a more or less permanent relationship between a man and woman. Their aim is not nearly physical pleasure but spiritual advancement. It is not merely an individual function but has a serial enjoyment of sexual pleasure. It exhibits unintegral approach to this serial institution.
The main aim of Hindu marriage can be summarized as follows.
(i) Fulfillment of dharma or religions duties: According to the Hindu scriptures marriage is a basic of all religion activities. In the words of K.M Kapadia”marriage is primarily for the fulfillment of duties; the basic aim of marriage was dharma”.
(ii) Procreation: In Hindu families the child is given a very important place. According to Riga Veda, the husband accepts the palm of wife in order to get a high breed progeny. According to manu, the chief aim of marriage is procreation Mahabarat has also maintained the same view.
(iii) Sexual pleasure: The Hindu scriptures have compared the sexual pleasure with the relation of divine bliss. According to vatsyanyan sexual pleasure is the chief in aim marriage.
As marriage is said to be sacred it is irrevocable, other parties to the marriage can’t dissolve it at will. Each is bound to the other until the death of either of them and the wife is supposed to be bound to her husband even after his death. Concept of marriage, that it is, indissoluble, is a lofty one because it means that the husband and wife after marriage age to adjust their tastes and temper their ideas and interest, instead of breaking with each other when they find that these differ. Hindu marriage, thus viewed, is not an ordinary affair where in the weakness of flesh plays a dominant part. On the contrary, demands of personal gratification and pleasures are subordinated, and the individual is called upon to make marriage a success by means of compromise and adjustment. Despite the fact that marriage was considered to be irrevocable the two partners were not regarded as beings equal in their obligations, privileges there was obvious discrimination made in their responsibility towards each other and in responsibility for succession of marriage.
This is illustrated during the rituals in the marriage ceremony.Among the five Pancha Bhootas, all the elements are purifying by nature. But Agni or Fire is exceptional, because all the elements can be polluted but not fire. This means, water can purify but it can inturn be polluted , same with air and earth, but fire alone cannot be polluted. This is why Agni is considered the most sacred. In all Vedic ceremonies fire is used and especially in Marriage rituals.
Fire is the symbol of Knowledge. Circambulating Fire or Agni during marriage is to symbolically depict that married life should be a joined event to keep main focus on knowledge. In the “four stages” of life we discussed that in Youth we grow and mature our body. In married life, the next stage we have to have growth and Emotional maturity. Emotional maturity can happen only through understanding or knowledge. This is the reason why the couples circle the Agni during the marriage ritual. The couple walk together seven steps (Saptha padhi) around the fire. The Vedic texts says if you walk with a stranger minimum seven steps you become friends. So the Husband and Wife become friends by walking seven steps together.
Mâangalyam tantunânena mama jîvanahetunâ
kantheh badhnami subhage! sañjîva śaradah śatam
This is a sacred thread. This is essential for my long life. I tie this around your neck, O maiden having many auspicious attributes! May you live happily for a hundred years (with me).
Thread is to tie or to restraint , here the restraint is for the wandering mind. Through this the wife commits to the husband that she will focus her mind and body energy for the goal of God Realization, through the marriage life. The husband wears a toe-ring as his part of commitment to the wife. He also commits that his mind will be in the ring of married life and through that he goes steadfast in his goal to the higher Self along with her. When the couple one or both starts to show un-conditional love, Marriage then becomes a blissful experience (Romantic) at the body level, mind level and Intelligence level. This is not a fiction but a reality that can be lived and experienced. Once the couple experience this , the life becomes a life of Awareness, which is called divinity.
In Vedic tradition the couple is considered as the representation of God and Goddess, the Purusha and Prakrithi , the Consciousness and Matter. In Vedic tradition Marriage and Sex is considered as sacred and not considered as a sinful act.
The Romantic “Love” experienced in marital relationship as a husband and wife is experienced by transcending the ego. “Love” is “Unconditional” and is opposed by Ego, which seeks only conditional relation. In Romantic “Love” there are no conditions, a person is accepted as the person is. This is real “Love”. Rest of the love, that we think as love is not love, it is only a “business” relationship. We get something for paying for it. A husband and wife in Romantic love, accepts the person as he or she is and looks beyond the body and mind and transcends to the pure Awareness state. In such a state the “Love making” they enjoy is also blissful. In Bharath, “Radha and Krishna” is considered as the model of un-conditional Romantic Love.