Skunk- A cat-sized mammal with a prominent long-haired tail. The fur is black, usually with a white stripe running down the head and dividing to become two stripes on each side of the body. Often smelled before they are seen, skunks produce an obnoxious scent upon provocation. This disagreeable musk is secreted by glands at the base of the tail and can be aimed and sprayed at will. Prior to spraying, skunks usually warn intruders by stamping their feet and holding the tail high in the air.
Idiots- Runners of many different shapes and sizes. They are usually dressed in all manners of brightly colored clothing that allows them to be seen from long distances. Often heard before they are seen, Idiots produce an obnoxious laughter when running. This sound can be deafening, annoying and is highly contagious. There have been several reported incidents of contamination throughout some of the more traditional and rigid running clubs. Prior to laughing, Idiots will warn those around them by starting their Garmins.
Idiots Running Club Skunk Run
The biggest non-event in all of running.
How it all started......
Once upon a time there were two Idiots who liked to run. Roads and trails. Summer and winter. Rain, heat or snow. Through creeks and mud. Up big hills and down the other side. These two Idiots never knew how far they would run. If one said "at least 10" then they would run 15. If one said, "I must be home by 8" then they would finish their run no earlier than 9:30. This carefree attitude about training was not accepted by the mainstream running community, but it worked for the two Idiots.
One day the Idiots were finishing up a 12-turned-into-15-turned-into-20 mile run when they happened upon a skunk. They both stopped, pausing their Garmins of course, and pondered what to do. The skunk was taking its time crossing the gravel road, and the two Idiots were less than a mile from the finish. As the skunk eased over to the ditch, one of the Idiots started slowly running. The other, being an Idiot as well, followed closely behind. As the first Idiot passed the skunk he had a sudden urge to LOUDLY YELL in an effort to scare it into spraying the second Idiot. It was a mo' awesome run.
So..... The idea of an IRC Skunk Run was born.... The rules are simple.
Run as much, or as little, as you want to in 8 hours. You can run 1 mile, take a nap, eat some food and then go run another. Or don't. Your choice.
Keep track of your distance. Be honest. For *most* miles.... Garmin data will be your proof.
Smile, laugh and act the fool in general. If possible.... get another runner sprayed by a skunk. *Not required*
The "official" location of the Skunk Run will be in the Caney Mountain Wildlife Refuge in Ozark County, Missouri on March 18, 2017, starting at 7:18 a.m. and ending at 3:18 p.m.
All participants will receive a super cool IRC Skunk Run "medal"and a hoodie. MUST REGISTER by March 6, 2017 to be guaranteed a shirt. Prizes will be awarded for most overall miles, least overall miles, most awesome injury/best blood and whatever Idiotic actions we deem appropriate. If anybody actually gets sprayed by a skunk, we will end the run, and that person will be granted the title of Skunk Master.
Running is FREE and open to anybody. If you want a hoodie, ceramic participation "medal" (crafted by children in our sweatshop purchased from the high school art club), food and directions to the restroom then the cost is $54.72 (The restroom is located at the campground. If you can't find it then you are lost.)
This is NOT a race/official event. It is an IRC group run. If you fall down and get a boo-boo or get attacked by Bigfoot – it is not our problem. It is Skunk Run also a trail run. This means. no whining, complaining, crying about anything. This includes the food that may or may not suck, the conditions of the trail that may or may not be muddy, the organization that will probably suck, or the fact that instead of port-a-potties along the trail there will be many, many trees to choose from.
There are many options/loops to run with something for all levels of runners. Food and refreshments will be provided at the start/finish area of each loop. This will probably be the only "aid station" type area so prepare accordingly. Children are welcome, and we encourage you to bring them along. The Skunk Run is a very family-friendly non-event and kids love to explore while you run the trails. (Yes... there are usually more than a few adults willing to supervise.) If you want a "medal" and long-sleeve T-shirt (not tech) for the kids, the cost is $25. Or if kids want a medal only, it's $15.
There will also be a virtual/satellite Skunk Run option again this year. Run on your own roads/trails between 7:18 a.m. and 3:18 p.m. on March 18. Same rules apply. You will not be eligible for the super cool prizes (maybe we'll send you an IRC sticker or beer mug if you break a bone or need stitches) but you can still get an IRC Skunk Run participation "medal" and shirt for $44.72 or $25 for the youth T-shirt and medal. (U.S. shipping included). Take pics and video to share.
Online Registration is NOW OPEN.
Mail in Registion: Mail forms to ActNow Promotions, P.O. Box 460, Nixa, MO 65714. Make checks payable to Idiots Running Club.
Race Day Registration: Prices are the same, but pre-register to receive your shirt on race day.
~You don't have to outrun the skunk. Just run a little faster than your friends~
Get A Grip Massage from Springfield, MO will have a canopy and massage table set up to work out all the problems you encounter on this extremely flat and fast course. getagripmassage.com
Glenn McDaniel, the representative from Altra Running, SportsBeans and UltrAspire will be have a booth set up all day to answer questions and provide product samples.
We will also be offering seminars on self defense for runners again this year.
Here is the basic info...
Basic Self Defense Training
The basic training will cover techniques to avoid and escape violent confrontations, both social and asocial violence. The program focuses on non-escalation of violence, meaning the techniques taught are simply escape techniques to frustrate and get away from attackers grip. Escalating the violence confrontation can lead to more serious injuries or worse. Avoid, escape, and run away. The program has been developed and used by current law enforcement officers.
Basic techniques will include:
• Awareness training
• Break falls
• Wrist grab escapes
• Body mechanics to generate strength and stability
• Using attackers force and momentum against them
• Ambush protection
• Choke escapes
• Bear hug escapes
• Rape scenario
• Risks of strikes
• Use of force multiplier tools, benefits, risks.