day in the life
My nigga, do you have a gas can?
(The fuck I'm gonna do with a gas can, nah, nigga what?)
It's just been a long ass day, man
All I need is a gas can
(Na, try down across the street, I think that nigga keep one, I don't know)
I'm finna head over there and I'mma be right back
(Fuck what you doing, man?
Knocking on the door extra hard and shit like you just stressed out or something)
My nigga, I don't even know where to begin, dog
(What happened, man?)
Look, I woke up this morning feeling fucked up
What else is new? Like God be like, "To hell with you"
To tell the truth, I ain't been to church in like three or fo'
Years, not months, have mercy on my soul
Threw on the wife-beater, put a fitted on my skull
Took a long ass piss, grabbed my shades and hit the door
I had half a blunt left from last night
I lit that bitch up like a lightbulb and got right
Started to orchestrate my day like a maestro
I should hit the lab, I got verses like the Bible
I heard hip hop need revival
It's been camouflaged like the mascot for Geico
In that bullshit, I took another pull quick
My mind flooded like a fucking swimming pool is
Went back in the house, raided my mom's refrigerator
But everybody's on a diet and my stomach ain't quiet
I said, "Fuck it", hit the shower like a jackpot
The weed got my teeth off-white like crack rock
Toothbrush from the 99 cent store
I got a million dollar smile, it don't make sense though
Threw on my army fatigue shorts and a T that say "Peace Not War"
Now everybody eyeing me
I don't know if I need an iron or it's the irony
And by the way, I'm at the gas station now
But not to get gas, just another black and mild
Shit this half a half a tank gon' have to last until Monday
And it's Tuesday, the bitches still want me like a bouquet
I hit my nigga Agent, he want to roll up two Ls like Cool J
I'm like, "Alright, cool, Jay"
But I gotta be at work by 3, it's midday
I can't go in smelling like weed, he said, "Okay"
Stop by the cheap tobacco store, two swishers for a dollar
And when he meet me, we finna get high, like a greeting
He told me, "Drop five", I said, "I got you next time"
Long story short, I bumped my head on cloud nine
And I'm chilly chill even when it's hot outside
Rode to the studio rather blasted
I spit like a dragon that'll leave a fan flabbergasted
That's when my gas and my check engine light
Clicked on at the same exact time I signal right
And that ain't right, I got shit to do today
Cause any day you could be attending my eulogy
Got to the studio when everybody left
I saw a note that read, "We went to go work on Detox with Weezy F"
My fault nigga, I actually came up with the idea to write that
(You laughin' but that shit ain't funny man)
It was funny at first but
A day in the life
Of mister soul brother number deuce
Damn he nice
I'm thinking if you only knew
You could fuck with it or middle fingers up to your whole crew
Tell 'em the regular nigga said it and that it
A day in the life
Of mister soul brother number deuce
Damn he nice
I'm thinking if you only knew
You could fuck with it or middle fingers up to your whole crew
Now it's 2:58 and I'm running late for work
Running meanin' stuck in traffic cause the Home Depot is finna jerk
I been in the same position before
Manager said it better be my last time, but it won't
I clocked in around 3:10 and I'm wishing I didn't
Cause UPS just brought in this big ass shipment
And for those that don't know, I work at a record store
And I make hot records (That's a sick ass gimmick)
Finished the inventory then I logged on Myspace
I had one download and 'bout 16 plays
5 friend requests from sucka MCs making a name
I signed out and had to question my aim (You weak nigga, that's all)
This old-timer walked in and we got to talking about Eric B and Rakim
And the perm on Al Sharpton
Osama bin Laden, Obama in the office
And he looked me in my face and said I'm destined for fame
Told him I do music, he like, "Whatever you do, do it
And don't blink, the moment you close your eyes, you'll lose it"
Word to wise, that was some great advice
That I took like I stole it, then my head sort of swollen
I guess that's why I shits on 'em like a cleansed colon
Told the rest of the shoppers we finna be closing
I locked up like Akon and hit the street
It's 8 PM, and I ain't had shit to eat
All day, KFC, snackers a dollar each
Bar-b-que and nacho cheese
I bought 4, ate 3, gave one to Top Dawg
I would've had one for Punch but he moved like a sloth
I'm back at the studio now if I lost ya
And everything's straight, you can thank great posture
Hit my lil momma up cause I'm trying to cut
But she on the rag and I don't mean a bandanna
She told me come through, she gave me head like Rihanna
And I deserve a standing ovation for my swagger
Chuck the deuce, headed for the car to finish off the night right
But it wouldn't start
Laugh it up nigga, laugh it up man
Shit ain't funny man, that's why I need that damn gas can
(Gas, nigga, you gotta put 5 dollars not 3 in)
Shit nigga I ain't got 5 dollars to put in!
(That'll get you one gallon, nigga)
Whatever man, bullshit dog, keep laughin'
(Tryin' to save that extra dollar for that menu
For the McDonalds menu nigga ain't gotta cut all the time
Nigga you gotta put the whole 5 in it)
You gon' shoot me 5 or what? Fuckin' bastard
(I know you're on a budget, but damn)