drugs
'Cause I had the best of the worst sides
And I had these lungs
And I had too many flash fires
That I just let them burn
'Till my chest is on fire
And my head just won't die
I guess I'm lying 'cause I wanna
I guess I'm lying 'cause I don't
'Cause I just feel so tired
Like it's move or slowly die
You say, "You ain't you when you're like this
This ain't you and you know it"
But ain't that just the point?
You don't know how to let go
Who said this must be all or nothing?
But I'm still caught below, and I'll never let you know
No, I can't tell you nothing
'Cause I'm a fucking mess sometimes
But still I could always be
Whatever you wanted
But not what you needed
Especially when you been needing me
'Cause I'm a fucking mess sometimes
And I'll say what I don't mean
Just 'cause I wanted
Or maybe I need it
Swear lying's the only rush I need
'Cause all I needed was some words to say
That all these feelings don't mean shit to me
'Cause it's all just chemicals anyway, anyway, yeah
And I got way too many routes to take
To make this all just go away
And find another heart to break
So heartless with these words I say
Just saying what I'm supposed to say
'Cause I had nothing for you
I can't love when I can't even love myself
Things I would rather be thoughts at the back of my head
But I'm addicted to hurting
And I got these lungs
And I spent too many late nights
Just thinking a hole in the earth
'Till the sky is on fire
And my head still won't die
I guess I'm lying 'cause I wanna
I guess I'm lying 'cause I don't
'Cause I just feel so tired
Like I need something to come alive
She said, "You ain't you when you're like this
This ain't you, what you doing?"
And I said, "That's the point"
You don't know how to let go
Who said this must be all or nothing?
But I'm still caught below, and I'll never let you know
No, I can't tell you nothing
'Cause I'm a fucking mess sometimes
But still I could always be
Whatever you wanted, but not what you needed
Especially when you been needing me
'Cause I'm a fucking mess inside
And I'll say what I don't mean
Just 'cause I want it
Or maybe I need it
Swear lying's the only rush I need
Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh
Yeah, oh yeah, I need it
Yeah, I need it, I need it I need it, I need it, yeah