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I took her off the showroom floor no money down
Near the Chrysler building in the heart of Midtown
200 horse-power under the hood
Junk in the trunk very far from damaged goods
Designer frames with windshields that stay tinted
The most beautiful thing someone invented
Her wrangler had a sticker on the bumper
A sign in case tow trucks tried to dump her
Rear view mirror that of Serena William
Staring was a crime then the look, kill 'em
Brushless showers and the Brazilian wax
Cash in the glove compartment free from tax
Low mileage on the odometer
Graduate with more degrees than a thermometer
Spark plugs for great conversation
She would focus on the finish line and destination
Steering in the right direction
Made sure I wore seat belts had air bags for protection
In her tank she loved to stash my tool
I kept her full, super-unleaded fuel
She had a room full of skirts and rims
The old ones used to swing off ropes that often hung from limbs
A temp at the Ford modeling agency
Suburban area where the Caucasians be
Her great-grandfather was a Cherokee Indian
Explorer and navigator traveling then begin
Sharpening his arrows on Plymouth Rock
Commander-in-chief who raise cattle on the selling of livestock
King of the frontier, rider of thoroughbreds
He was just as sharp as a needle without thread
Legend in truth but known to run the herd
His sons were oldsmobiles who drank thunderbird
Land cruisers sitting on fertile soil
With equipment that ran off expensive oil
Folks bragging said the horse pulled a Volkswagen
They love mustang sally and lollygagging
Fished in Lake Tahoe cooked the barracudas
Hunted impalas with the six-shooters
From a long range with the dog Rover
It was something else to see 'em knock them over
Some got caught in the crossfire
Bunch of rabbits indicating these dudes should retire
One was going bald rocking a sunroof
A gas guzzler in his grill was one tooth
A strong accent, and a beard like Lincoln
Who hated the golf course, but he loved drinking
Avenger, used to pick up chicks
Had magnums that were ram tough but thick
He wore blazers where he used to hide the Ruger
For encounters with the jaguars and cougars
A veteran who could salute and sing the anthem
In accord with the plan he was the phantom
He had a fat lady they called hummer
And umm, she needed body work the whole summer
She had a few friends who used to stay in a pound
Abandoned the parking lots, and junk yard bound
Regulars in rest areas and truck stops
Cassette players, known to make the tape pop
Gold diggers who on the cream like Wells Fargo
In Vegas, they circle around the Monte Carlo
You know the snakes with the fangs and vipers
Bloodsuckers who all used to piss from diapers
Met the Cavaliers at the Outback steakhouse
Chicken cutlets supreme just for takeout
One of them was forced to live in Astoria
Cause at the auction, they had crowned victoria
Since then her friends charged her battery
Had her running off with the sweets of flattery
She kept a loud muffler, couldn't trust her
Police used to always pull over this duster
A pothead who some called a firebird
A foul mouth, who could have used wiser words
Her man used to hustle and ran a crack corner
So insecure he kept LOJACK on her
Creeping with his visors low, high-beaming
Temper would accelerate, private eye scheming
He would check her consoles for rubbers
She would pass the inspection with flying colors
She would turn left if he said right
On her cycle, he would often run red lights
His voiced echoed as she dodged the convo
-----"PROTOOLS"-----
Her previous owner, all he did was bone her
Some drove her crazy, she was just a loner
He had her leaking transmission fluids
Said it was an accident, didn't mean to do it
No insurance with her grill decayed
She sobbed uncontrollably, still stayed
Another total eclipse of the heart
Like the freezing weather that never gave her a start
Plus he had a sidekick in his garage
And if he needed a boost, she would give him a charge
He was sentenced for running an escort service
Escaped from prison but made a few nervous
His baby mother had wifed a BMW
Number one on the list, so he brought trouble to
She done everything to regain her liberty
Tried to be outty, but went into delivery
Moved to Aspen, survived a avalanche
A different element, inside a fatter ranch
Far away, when she changed the pattern
The distance was like from Mercury to Saturn