cute in a suit skit
*Phone rings*
Hopsin: What do you want?
Alyce: Where are you?
Hopsin: I'm leaving this damn courthouse, walking back to my hotel. What do you want?
Alyce: Well, you look really cute in your suit.
Hopsin: Man, what the fuck you talking about I look cute in this suit?! I'm only wearing this goddamn suit because you put me through all this court bullshit, man. You think this is some type of fucking game?!
Alyce: Look, I honestly didn't know they were gonna do this. I thought they were just gonna write you up.
Hopsin: Write me up? What the fuck is this, middle school?! You're a fucking white girl telling the police a black man beat you in the fucking hotel room! You're fucking with my life. You know damn well I didn't hurt you.
Alyce: Well I was scared and you were holding me hostage and I didn't know if you were gonna kill me and my baby.
Hopsin: What?! Kill the baby?! Holding you hostage?! What the fuck are you talking about?! Who do you think I am?! You think I'm a terrorist?! How did you not think this through?! They gon kick my black ass out of Australia right when you're about to have this goddamn baby. How am I supposed to raise this kid with you?!
Alyce: Why are you blaming me? My dad's the one that made me go to the police. It's not my fault.
Hopsin: It is your fault! Why the fuck you telling your parents all our goddamn business?! You know they don't like me. God!
Alyce: Well, I see you followed a new girl on Instagram. Who is she?
Hopsin: Wow! Are you bringing that… oh my… man, fuck you!