03 adolescence
I grew up, a fucking screw up
Tie my shoe up, wish they was newer
Damn, need something newer
In love with the baddest girl in the city, I wish I knew her
I wish I wasn't so shy, I wish I was a bit more fly
I wish that I could tell her how I really feel inside
That I'm the perfect nigga for her, but then maybe that's a lie
She like a certain type of nigga and it's clear I'm not that guy
Ball player, star player, I'm just watchin' from the side
On the bench, 'cause my lack of confidence won't let me fly
I ain't grow up with my father, I ain't thinkin' 'bout that now
Fast forward four years or so from now I'll probably cry
When I realize what I missed, but as of now my eyes are dry
'Cause I'm trying to stay alive
In the city where too many niggas die
Dreamin' quiet trying to dodge a suit and tie
Who am I?
Ayy, who am I? (Yeah)
Things change, rearrange and so do I
It ain't always for the better, dawg, I can't lie
I get high 'cause the lows can be so cold
I might bend a little bit but I don't fold
One time for my mind and two for yours
I got food for your thoughts to soothe your soul
If you see my tears fall just let me be
Move along, nothing to see
I always did shit the hard way
My nigga  slangin' in the hallway
Burnt CD's and trees like this was Broadway
Times Square, kept the dimes there in the locker
Some Reggie Miller
With more brown hairs than Chewbacca
Whispers that he got it for the low-low, sell a
Dime for a dub, them white boys ain't know no better
Besides, what's twenty dollars to a nigga like that?
He tell his pops he need some lunch
And he gon' get it right back
I peep game
Got home snatched my mama keychain
Took her whip, the appeal, too ill to refrain
I hit the boulevard pull up to my nigga front do'
His mama at home, she still let 'em hit the blunt though
I told her hello, and sat with my nigga and laughed
And talked about how we gon' smash all the bitches in class
I complimented how I see him out here getting his cash
And just asked, "What a nigga gotta do to get that?
Put me on," he just laughed when he seen I was sure
17 years breathing his demeanor said more
He told me, "Nigga, you know how you sound right now?
If you wasn’t my mans
I would think that you a clown right now
Listen, you everything I wanna be that's why I fucks with you
So how you looking up to me when I look up to you?
You bout to go get a degree, I'ma be stuck with two choices:
Either graduate to weight or selling number two
For what? A hundred bucks or two a week?
Do you think that you would know what to do if you was me?
I got, four brothers, one mother that don't love us
If they ain't want us why the fuck they never wore rubbers?"
I felt ashamed to have ever complained about my lack of gear
And thought about how far we done came
From trailer park to a front yard with trees in the sky
Thank you mama, dry your eyes, there ain't no reason to cry
You made a genius and I, ain't gon' take it for granted
I ain't gon' settle for lesser, I ain't gon' take what they handed
Nah, I'm gon' take what they owe me
And show you that I can fly
And show old girl what she missing, the illest nigga alive
Ayy, who am I?
Things change, rearrange and so do I
(Ayy, who am I?)
It ain't always for the better, dawg, I can't lie
(Who am I?)
I get high 'cause the lows can be so cold
I might bend a little bit but I don't fold
One time for my mind and two for yours
I got food for your thoughts to soothe your soul
If you see my tears fall just let me be
Move along, nothing to see
I never felt better