tape
I can barely rap, I can barely dance
I can barely laugh, I can barely hang
I want a male stripper to do a belly dance
For me and my boyfriend, that's entertainment
And I'm drunk as fuck, my niggas tuxed up
I need a reason to get my bucks up
I need a reason to care about society
They need a good enough reason just to hire me
But honestly, you see my mom can't walk
And her lungs don't work like they used to
I feel like it's my fault 'cause of music
I be saying shit that's just fucking rude and untrue, and
But truthfully, the words had damage, and it's cruel to me
But even more cruel to be
Dissing you in front of niggas that pay to hear me
Sometimes I be wondering, why I been tripping off it
I should probably spend my time
Writing rhymes in the dentist's office
That's killing two birds in one stone
When I was younger, way before I was grown
I wanted a deal with Death Row or Rhymesayers
I'm saving my time for mics later
I might save it, depending on the shit that y'all write later
I hate writers, I hate tweets, I hate journalists
They hate truth, they hate peace
They want my niggas to burn with us
Flicking on the face of my wrist watch
Watch the time stop just to speed up, watch life unfold
And between the tick-tocks, speeding down the one-way
Fuck these signs, fuck these lights, put my life on the line
When it feel right, I'm fine, no, I'm not lyin', don't ask me
I'll pay the fine, I'll pay the toll, just hope I don't crash it
But hey, if I do, it will be a blaze of glory
Engulfed by the manifestation of death behind me
All my life I've felt inadequate
And through the years I've dealt with
Tragedy after tragedy, God, send a message
Send a messenger my way
Never claimed to be a saint, forgive me
Feel like the light that I was blessed with has diminished
I'm haunted, by the visions of my youth turned true
I've come to expect my expectations aren't true
But I'm a master of believing my lies
And you can't break me, and I can't brake at the speed of light
I'm afraid to share the bed, what if she want money later?
Like she got laid off, uh, hit my lawyer for some paper
I'm afraid to speak my pains like, "You lucky where you at"
"You cool, but quit complaining 'bout all that"
That's why I'm showing up late
I'm not tryna be a dick, but my time is not to waste
For my shell, fuck the small talk with my sensei
Where my sense at? Four-cylinder go round
Lincoln Town Car pick me up, drop me off
I got bubble under my biceps, sneak me into the sidestep
Ego is getting sized up, I be on butterfly effect
Fuck it, I'll be myself now, tell 'em I take no shit now
Tell 'em they work for me now, tell 'em my tears, they bleed down
Tell 'em I work, like, what, what time for me now?
Wondering "who is me?" now
Wondering "where you been?" now
Lose you in crowds, I see now, 14
I see 'em all inside of me now
Bank account move like speeds now
Make it from ways to feed now
Thinking of ways to be everything but right now
It's crazy how things feel the best
When reminiscing 'til we check ourselves
It's crazy how people who left
Say they feeling left out when we step for health
Still accustomed to nights filled with solitude
I don't always remember to call goodnight
I don't always remember my altitude
I don't always remember to stop the fight
But I might check my sight, it ain't right
Yeah I know, but my strife overwhelms, every night
Until I'm forced to close my eyes
Brain disease, parasite, eating me from inside
Emotions bleed, I can't believe
How I'm slipping through the night