therapy session
Yeah, I got off stage like a month ago
I was talking to fans
And one of 'em pulled me aside and said
"We never met, but I swear that you know who I am
I've been through a lot
I don't know how to express it to people, don't think that I can
But I got that Mansion CD on rotation
That's real for me, Nate, you do not understand"
It's crazy for me
Kids hit me up, say they slittin' they wrists on the daily
This music is more than you think
Don't book me for just entertainment, it's entertainin'
Hearin' these parents, they telling their kids
My music is violent—you gotta be kidding me
I guess that your definition of violence and mine
Is something that we look at differently
How do you picture me, huh?
Want me to smile, you want me to laugh?
You want me to walk on the stage with a smile on my face
When I'm mad and put on a mask? For real though
I mean, what you expect from me?
I'm tryna do this respectfully
They say that life is a race
I knew my problems would prolly catch up eventually
I do my best to be calm
How you gon' write me and tell me you'd slaughter my family?
That's just a glimpse to the stuff that gets sent to me
These are the parts of my life they don't never see, woo!
I am aware, it's aggressive
I am not here for acceptance
I don't know what you expected
But what you expect when you walk in a therapy session, huh?
Therapy, therapy session
Therapy, therapy session
This girl at the show looked me in the face
And told me her life's full of drama (Yeah!)
Said her dad is abusive
Apparently, he likes to beat on her mama
I got so angry inside
I wanted to tell her to give me his number
But what you gon' do with it, right?
You gon' hit him up then he'll start hittin' her harder, that's real
These kids, they come to my shows
With tears in they eyes
'Magine someone looking at you
And sayin' your music's the reason that they are alive
Sometimes I don't know how to handle it
This type of life isn't glamorous
This ain't an act for the cameras (Nah!)
You see me walk on these stages
But have no idea what I'm dealing with after it, nah!
I put it all in the open
This is the way that I cope with all my emotion
I'm taking pictures with thousands of people
But honestly, I feel like nobody knows me
I'm tryin' to deal with depression
I'm tryin' to deal with the pressure
How you gon' tell me my music does not have a message
When I'm lookin' out at this crowd full of people I know I affected? Agh!
I got some things in my life (My life)
I know I should let 'em go (Let 'em go)
Let me jot it down (Jot it down)
Let me take a mental note (Mental note)
I put it all in this microphone (Microphone)
Think about that for a minute
What is the point of this song? I'm just ventin'
But what you expect from a therapy session, huh?
Therapy, therapy session
Therapy, therapy session
What you think about me
—That doesn't worry me
I know I handle some things immaturely
I know that I need to grow in maturity
I ain't gon' walk on these stages, in front of these people
And act like I live my life perfectly
That doesn't work for me
"Christian" is not the definition of what "perfect" means, woo!
I ain't the type to be quiet
I ain't gon' sit here in silence
If I wouldn't say what I say to your face
Then I promise you, I wouldn't say it in private
I am not lyin'
People go off on my page, and I'm tryin' to quit the replyin'
But this is ridiculous
I'm passionate, man, I really mean what I'm writing
You want me to keep it a hundred?
Okay, I'll keep it a hundred
I see a whole lot of talkin' on socials
But honestly, I don't see nothing in public
I kinda love it, yeah
"Why don't you write us some happy raps?
That would be awesome"
"All of your music is moody and dark, Nate"
—Don't get me started (Yeah!)
You wanna know what it's like if you met me in person?
Listen to my verses
This music is not just for people
Who sit in the pews and pray at the churches, nah!
I won't reject it
I don't expect everyone to respect it
I don't expect you to get my perspective
But what you expect from a therapy session?
Huh?
I mean, I think sometimes people—they confuse what I'm doin'
I write about life, I write about things that I'm actually dealing with
Something that I'm actually experiencing
This is real for me
Like, this is something that personally helps me as well
I'm not confused about who gave me the gift
God gave me the gift and he gave me the ability to—to do this
And he also gave me this as an outlet
And that's what music is for me
When I feel something, whether it's anger
Um, it's a passion about something—or frustration
Like, this is where I go
This is—this is—that's the whole "NF Real Music" thing, man
This is real for me—I need this
This is a therapy for me