funkmaster flex freestyle
When you kick a bar you spit somethin' that no one's feelin'
When I kick a bar I'm outside of the strip club belligerent drunk
Kickin' the bricks on the buildin', uh
You ain't seen no sicker, no iller chump
Fly girl magnet, I'm infectious; if I have it, your girl has it
This verse is Earv Magic
Nobody cares about you swervin' your Mercedes and your OG's
Who used to do some murders in the 80's
My will is the bark, well
My will is barking chicks
I turn around like my wheel is parallel parking
Aside from liquor I don't got many habits
So you should tell your American girl
To stay away from me like Lenny Kravitz
Y'all either falling off or barely hanging on
My chicks pants looks like Shawty Lo's hairline: painted on
If you don't like me, so what, I could fight, what
That ain't no punchline, I can fight
To all the sucker punching this is a sucker punch
I snuff you from behind, punk, uff you frontin' Thank me later
If there's war on my block call me Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor
'Cause you won’t see the face of my neighbor
Housegang, Shady, we ain't Wu-Tang
This is the player circle, and I'm wearing two chains
Go against me, oppose God
This snub barrel lookin' like the .357 just got a nose job
Detroit, the world feel us
We call the murder appeal ya
We call the burner a thriller
We call tequila quitila, steal you like a B&E
Every rapper claim to be a mixture of BIG and Pac; I'm a mixture of me & me
My EMG reads GV and TNT
And you can find me twisted on E and E on TMZ
Or passed out the couch on Media Takeout
Not carin' what y’all sayin'
Lettin' my balls hang
Some dudes drink away the pain, I think of ways to gain
And it happens so naturally you think it's preordained
Straight from Lyor's Reign, escape from that ball and chain
Couldn't tell if I was in it for the long haul or fame, wait
See, I'm layin' low on the island
I been learned that saying no is a talent
Jokers want beef but keepin' up is a challenge
Can't tell if I'm tryna get even or find a balance
But I'm much closer, I won't front
Broads love it, so sober but so blunt
A charming asshole, want him all the same
Tell him I feel the ice as its forming in my veins
Chasin' the high so much that we both hurtin'
To the point it ain't even about the other person
So we even, I'm in love with her rear and where I would be
And she in love with the idea of what I could be
On top of the world but desire to fall
But what's the point of dreamin' big if you acquired it all
But if lyricism is back, we helped it spearhead
If we orderin' CL's make mine a year ahead
I skip the club line and don't get turned around
So girls come at a high volume I don't turn them down
No pregnant broads and no minors, A1 bars with Em as a co-signer
I hit jeweler without checking the cost yet
I ain't rich my dude, but peep the way I offset
Don't be confused by the Bentleys and the Corvettes
Got stories from my hood that'll rival those of war vets
Jersey City helped 'em mold to what I amounted to
My only beef is that they don't hold itself accountable so
A few resent me, but I'm cool with it
They handed me the city before I knew what to do with it
My strap spark at exact targets
I'm snatchin' up black markets
You whack artists should target your rap argot
I keep my ice chunky, condos in wine country
You know my spine hungry, that mean I'm back starvin'
Back with the tax-fraudin'
Illegal stash in the backyard
And I'm plantin' my cash garden while the crack harden
I might creep through your quiet house
I'll tie your spouse down by the couch pullin' the iron out
While she hidin' out, she don’t know where the money's hidin' out
Gimme the money before I put this iron snout in your lyin' mouth
I am out my mind when it come to filling up my accounts with fly amounts
Might buy an ounce, flip it to get it
'Cause I am bout that life my G
My gun unload, I live by another code
My desirin' the globe
You thinkin' that you born to be the ish
'Cause you fell out your mother's other hole
Hail Mother, uh uh, no
You don't think that Crooked I's hot
Why not, is it cause my Maybach's in your blind spot
I sleep with one eye open like an insomnia-stricken Cyclops
'Cause I could rest in that pine box
I'm on so many drinks don't even count em
So high I fall up some stairs instead of down 'em
So high call that American Airline
Flex put us on to tear up his airtime
You not a legend like John, move back like his embarrassing hairline
Let the heir to the chair shine
Throughout ugliness, the Slaughter's there with me
It's all Lovie Smith, my team Bear with me
Still I'm feeling like an organ donor
So many people dying to get a part of me
Like I was born with a rare kidney
But come and get me, I leave you down under somewhere in Sydney
A different kind of chopper, I'm still airlifting
See my momma named me Dominick
That’s synonymous with ominous
I'm in this game to show you what drama is
I'm in this game to conquer it
Genghis Khan in this monstrous entourage
What challenger can dodge my barrage
Look at the DuPont registry: that's my garage
Convertible Beamer paint blacker than Amistad
Hear the engine noise, I’m ballin' with different toys and
Still I rap like Kool G when he was spittin' poison
My pen game is sick: call it penicillin
Since sky's the limit, this the flow that could kill a ceiling
You guys are gimmicks, hide your women
Crooked's into Virginia drillin'
The realest women they feel the villain
I'm fill 'em with big pimpin', even virgins
I lose a leg: I throw a shoe on my third one
Look how easy the words come
I'm the West Coast savior
Why you think they yellin' church when the verse done?
Speakin' of church, I'm from the city where sinners dwell
Sinister LBC, I came to give ‘em Hell
I'm judgin' day, I'm judgin' all you infidels
Sippin' Zinfandel, my liquor be off the Richter Scale
I'm here to intercept mics like I gotta pick from Vick in the NFL
Live Flamboyant until I'm Big as L
And on that T.R.H.O… ahhhhh
New York you have now tuned in to the four illest
Lyricist on the planet moving for-ward
I foresee our forthcoming album less than four months
You been forewarned so make room on the forefront
And me I'm the YAOWA of the wrecking crew
Speak to your feet if I'm who you thinking 'bout stepping to
'Cause I ain't only nice with the flow
I'm nice toe to toe blood'll fly out your nose
If you wonder why your ho looking
Like a seamstress from Bed-Stuy I'm sew Brooklyn
She like the way I lace up the macs
The sag on the trues and shake through the snaps
And if I ever scrape it's a wrap
She'll be dripping like a fountain no mountain just breaking her back
Speaking of beating I'm a ape on the track
You in the jungle with bananas placed on your hat
If you rhyme it ain't safe for you scrap
Unless it's an old Biggie verse don't put Faith in your raps
I'm in the spot doing my hammer dance
Like New York's Mom on Flavor of Love you don't stand a chance
Everybody with me be waiting to dump
Your homie imitating Flex they faking the funk
Cooper Projects what up y'all
Yeah I'll be at the next poker game with a buck y'all
Damn right I still be's in the trenches
I'm hood I can fall asleep on the benches
I'm not a rap dude I'm a dude who rap
Before this man, y'all saw the cypher
Whole awards was hyper
I'm just looking at the game is bad
'Cause I'm board and I'm running out of ways to brag
How many times I said I'm nicer than
Or I'm better than much harder or way more clever than
Armed and sick I'm such a veteran
Man I'm about to make ringtone rap and watch my cheddar spin
'Cause when you're too nice you're underground
That's funny cause Eminem gave me money for not dumbing down
Dummies bet you dumb-out off our dumb sales
Or how the name spread like dum-dum shells
And if you wanna know why hating is dumb, well
For one thing I'm underneath 110 dumbbells
Shorty I'll knock your head off your collar bone
Snap your spine play your ribs like a xylophone
Don't mind me I'm just on one
Not drugs I mean a mic and when I'm on this I'm gone son
I don't know where I go but I am not here
Shorty giving me Chewbacca I'm rubbing her Spock ears
Beam me up like a good blast; spaced out we come back y'all in hood class
Pay attention it's an A if you thoro
Be real with your click
Don't let me C you with the D's cause that's a F if you snitch
Wanna graduate with honors cock back and spray
The llama at your drama
Let your hard work slap your baby mamma
In the face, in the face of defeat yo
I always find a way to win I'm Tim Tebow
I can't quit I'm too proud with a big ego
Royce told me I'ma go Hollywood
He right, cause I'm gon' see all the nonbelievers and be like
Haha vroom vroom vroom goodnight
And pull off in a sick (Fe)rrari All you see is paper plates like a kid's party
And a thick Barbie
I'm one quarter of the Slaughterhouse
But all alone I'm four quarters of New York and what its all about
If you on the Island bang on your cell
If you want the streets wildin' dog you bang for Joell
Y A O W A I'ma tell everybody in the world the proper way it gets spelled
I ain't going no where so get use to me
If you can't stomach me cool go ahead and puke from me
I don't give a fuck though truthfully
I'm so stuck being a booth bully
Polo tucked under my Guc' hoodie
We all God's kids, but I'm a chosen one
He took his time with me he said "I'm almost done"
I just wanna make his brain murder
And add a little more down there
So when he stroke he can go way further
She bonin' me cause you can't hurt her
You ain't got nathan on my frankfurter
I'm a good MC might go to Guitar Center cop a good MP
And find a good loop
Hit the drum pad
And rhyme as hard as my biological son's dad
Wow, SMH-LMAO
Y'all gotta be JK do I say what I say yo
I can miracley whip up a hundred like Mayo
When I'm just trying to shoot for 50 Tony Yayo
Now Ryan's wit is electric like appliances
Now let the iron fist wreck ya, I insist
I'm here to tap some draws, tap some jaws
Ballin', as for y'all I'm here to palm the whole globe like a basketball
They told me I was gold; I ain't react at all
I'm staying hungry like Em while these ho's act in awe
F money but tell the government give me some since they print it
I'ma schizophrenic, mental clinic, pencil penning
Pimp lieutenant living the life in which if you flinch you in it
Quit your pretending you here to be saved I'm simple-y sent to be sinnin'
Your minds on bitter your vibes on Twitter
Check my file my resume is verified on Twitter
Your jeans got a coochie under it
I'll hang up sign that says your place
With a arrow pointin' down and put you under it
I been a vet reppin' since Eminem's test record
And it was better then any of our enemy's best efforts
And it was just us then, we been the best bet den
We stay on top of our green like vinaigrette dressing
I gotta right hand, it's Debo cold
Run into me playin' and end up with Steve-O's nose
I will leave you where you riffin' at, yelling take that
While I click-and-clack two guns that I nicknamed This and That
I play the tune of violence for hours with the same gun
That Nas used in I Gave You Power, Rewind - listen back
The damn drum'll leave you in the can with your Samsung
Can put a foot in your mouth, without a damn tongue
You plus one on the list at the club
With your boy don't give you the right to challenge a pro, you And1
I don't got no story
All I know is I'm quick to pop and put that boy
In a hole turn his body to a suppository
While y'all hard I'm rolling alone
I get your broad pregnant then I pay to abort it with a card over the phone
I predict the top MC's taking a dive this year
When that album drop how they gon' survive this year
See New York and New Jersey being live this year
With my Knicks beating Miami in five this year
I be thinking bout how far dude came sitting court side
Beat trial with my Co-D on the court side
Porsche fly tell the naysayers let the thought die
Hat low bloggers tend to watch him with a hawk eye
Spit from the heart and the listeners incline
To believe that I can't be one of a kind
'Cause to say that would insist this kind of realness existed before my time
So the circumstance is different for this prisoner of the mind
Where there's corrupt CO's barely touch C-Notes
Cuffs and keyholes inflating voluptuous egos
Bars can't hold me and the judge can't control me
Unlimited tobacco now who got the rollies
Get froggy but I'm not the guy at all
It'll be occupy the funeral occupy the morgue
Catch him off guard he sleep when a killer walk in
2 shots mussled by feathers now he pillow talking
Brave move tryin' test my resolve with no grind
Come Showtime I'm like Dexter to y'all
Just based off what I'm hearing from the rest of New York
Quite honestly I should be the best by default
But rappers are sensitive so the tension is felt
They let me list on the shelf I'm supposed to mention myself
So all I think about while I'm inching to wealth
Is how's Tyler, The Creator when I keep reinventing myself
Keep my name outta rumors I really use to hear a lot
Left a model got models trying to get near the spot
But I treat girls like gang members, think I care or not
If she got no body, I don't wanna see a tear drop
No Barbie's just Jessica Rabbits
Gave her the best pipe ever and she deaded her Rabbit
Don't care that she's anti social
My Darren Sproiles boo she do what the last Bush was supposed to
They don't like me 'cause I be where the dykes be
I ain't with the game so I catch em on a bye week
Get it more bars more torture
The game needed change so Em gave em 4 quarters
Watch how we generate watch who you implicate
Dissing me is only gon' instigate goons that would love to let the Inf spray
Put them young boys in your bathroom
Be mindful of what your Penn State
He should know he got no wins beefing
No hype for his career he got no ends meeting
Truck is a 0 12 I ain't low end speeding
Exterior's eggnog Joey so in season
Copy collect weapons as a hobby, in your lobby they gon' probably
Think I'm crazy if I end up with a body
Think I'm off course cause standing over the corpse
Without cause screaming "This was only supposed to be a robbery"
Yeah Joey, undisputed man in Jers'
If you understand words with talent you can't curb
But come and see him if you looking for that tan work
Know about my prices out in Denver even Sam Hurd
Joey, Jersey what up
You never picture me clicking with Brooklyn's merge
In the Murder Mitten when you heard him spittin'
You didn't know that the world was getting an introduction to pure destruction
A circle with murderous verbal written's or serving sentences of all bars
2012's all ours, the Chuck Taylor crew I'm talking All-Stars
You add Eminem, our hits are the hardest
Turn DJ's to MMA fighters when they mix Marshall's artists
You y'all ain't messing with the garbage
You ain't F-ing with that Dodger hat, unless your name Mr. Marcus
I lift ya carcass and if you listen to this ill spit in your whip
Then I bet it get you carsick
This Long Beach everyday y'all
I'm saying Free Tray Deee I'm saying R.I.P. Nate Dogg
I'm just a slaughter rider waiting for you in that same basement
That Biggie Smalls had your daughter tied up
Waiting for that snitches car to drive up
He come inside and die, I hop in his whip and turn The Carter 5 up
I mean The Carter 4 I paint any town red that's the Art Of War
I'll buss you in any city this not a tour
I tax you I'm not an auditor either or I'm at you
And it ain't no other mobsters we a mix between
Tyra Banks and energy drinks fore-headed Monster
I was gonna rhyme but forget it, this too wicked
You know I'm the G.O.A.T. y'all I'm just kidding
I'm a wizard when my wrist spinning
So New York (86) eighty-six'ed Dwight Gooden in the 5th inning
Mojo like HoJo bumping 3rd Bass in a fo' door
Dropping your ho home though
As far as homes go quit junior
Stop bloggin' before I dance on your Noggin like Nick Jr
Let your mans talk some shit to you
I run New York and I don't go joggin' without the fifth Ruger
Pop shit you get pop quick Papi pop up popsicle cool
Then POP like a squashed zit
Y'all ain't got the fever y'all just car sick
I put your number 1 Ceasar in arm pit
I pull strings like a guitar riff
You pull strings from Polly-O chesse please you harmless
Come here let me read you palm
It say anyone who tries Ortiz is promise a gruesome death
Dude's the best hacksaw my calves off I wouldn't lose a step
So yeah play nuts like sprem I never keep and I burn you
Then I will earn you like a check
Have your new album turn into a cassette
Then make the price go down per cassette like a percocet
This beat ain't even murdered yet
But man it's taking a beating like Ike when Tina Turner left
I usually ain't this cocky but a lot of ends
It's made me more cocky like a body cleanse
Now all my mami's muy bien when they body bend
I lift they Red Sox then I slide the Big Papi in
I probably got my joint licked in every lobby in Brooklyn
They ain't looking like my balls too también
I'm a fly fella, I might stop mid verse book a flight
And write the rest in La Bella
I'm always gone, my homies call me Mr. November
You running round telling stories Mr. Novella
And it's looking like a cold winter
Slaughterhouse just remember, diss a member you get dismembered
I hope y'all got something to spit about
Hip-hop's a over-packed club and Marshall and them will get em out
Yeah wait but I ain't done though nah this is fun yo
Beye sshe blah blah blah blah blah
That's my speaking in tongues flow
Beye sshe blah blah la alal alal a
While that's be eating her buns though
Bumpin' H-Town like a Bun show
I'm a super freak run hoe
Before I take a R. Kelly super duper leak one your done toes
Sometimes when they lay out the beat, I just play y'all can see
But it's mythology you ever say y'all was me
'Cause y'all only get it cracking
I get Kraken like I came out the sea
I laugh when you say y'all compete
'Cause y'all like paraplegic meat, ain't hard to beat
Fam trust me y'all can't touch me
I let my Penn State that to all you Sandusky's