garfield
Diamond in the back, gun-proof top
Ironside metal mouth kung-fu chop
One-way ticket to a three-dog night
When there's six million ways to make these dogs bite
Carolina blue ruby-sequenced Tarheel
Karras try the soup green Jesus cartwheel
Tattoo of a scar, half a sleeveless arm shield
Make your girl wanna put 'em on the glass like Garfield
Staring contest: Go!
You win, I was never good at that
Always shook his head of any hooks attached
Spit the bait up, hide for days, track a trail of slime and waste
Catch you outside Kwik-E-Mart, the minimall, or time and space
Eye and tooth grouped in systematic moving patterns
Meticulously plotted with miniature pewter dragons
The dark heart news penny-ante necromancy
On to plan B: panic and channel the death of Bambi
No name, no last known address
No age, no face, no magic
Key in the door and there's nobody home
Oven is on and there's mail in the box
Rocking the bells in the rotary phone
Something awry in the way of the walk
Bandit and the Smokey collide on the way to Sturgis
Melting down the silver from chains and then making stirrups
Turn up on the news in a segment of wasted purpose
When it's death before dishonor, words before trade insurance
Pygmy dart moistened, poison placed where the circle is
Wolf-pack legions and heathens, the breathe the virgin skins
Wool bomber fedoras complete and permanent
Purple Heart fastened to leafy Adidas turtle tips
Oh, what a tangled web like a hell-hole
So sick spiders tattoo it on they elbows
Death Star rebuilt, cozy inside the milk bar
Jukebox jonesing for the tone that break the bell jar
Zero mist lifting, split-screen, left side's friend died
Right side of witches, crypt-thrifting (Gross)
I'm cranky like nobody understands me
White tee, dagger in the back, nothing fancy
Mayhem of mosaic Passaic river of guppy grief
Cause and effect to the timid limb of your hugging tree
Cut in a three-way divided amongst a rugby team
Who can either take or leave em
Or feed em game like it's Chuck E. Cheese
Really rotten doctor shocks of the all stars
Newspaper letters that'll end in his hallmarks
Stuck in traffic stalled, stopped at the Walmart
While I beast and then maul cops like Paul Blart
While I feast, install bombs in doll parts
Pawn-shop stalwarts hawk hot broadswords
Foreign clocks, lawn darts, shock-and-awe sock-drawer porn
Drawn arms, jarred prawn hearts
My thrill-kill cult consult with raw matter
It mill spilt guts and drums from Thor's hammer
And document the war of the department-store Santas
From the POV of cameras hid in the dogs' antlers