retrospect for life
Yo, we gotta start respectin' life more y'all
You look at your brother man you gotta see yourself
Gotta see the God within him
We brothers gettin' changed real quick over nothin'
We losin' too many of ours
Gotta recreate y'all
Yo, check it
Knowin' you the best part of life, do I have the right to take yours?
Cause I created you, irresponsibly
Subconciously knowin' the act I was a part of
The start of somethin', I'm not ready to bring into the world
Had myself believin' I was sterile
I look into mother's stomach, wonder if you are a boy or a girl
Turnin' this woman's womb into a tomb
But she and I agree, a seed we don't need
You would've been much more than a mouth to feed
But someone, I would've fed this information I read
To someone, my life for you I woulda had to leave
Instead I lead you to death
I'm sorry for takin' your first breath, first step, and first cry
But I wasn't prepared mentally nor financially
Havin' a child shouldn't have to bring out the man in me
Plus I wanted you to be raised within a family
I don't wanna, go through the drama of havin a baby's momma
Weekend visits and buyin' J's ain't gon' make me a father
For a while bearing a child is somethin' I never wanted to do
For me to live forever I can only do that through you
Nerve I got to talk about them niggas with a gun
Must have really thought I was God to take the life of my son
I could have sacrificed goin' out
To think my homies who did it I used to joke about From now on I'ma use self control instead of birth control
Cause 315 dollars ain't worth your soul
315 dollars ain't worth your soul
315 dollars ain't worth it
I never dreamed you'd leave in summer
You said you would be here when it rained
Why didn't you stay
Seeing you as a present and a gift in itself
You had our child in you, I probably never feel what you felt
But you dealt with it like the strong black woman you are
Through our trials and tribulations, child's elimination
An integration of thoughts I feel about the situation
Back and forth my feelings was pacin'
Happy deep down but not joyed enough to have it
But even that's a lie in less than two weeks, we was back at it
Is this unprotected love or safe to say it's lust
Bustin', more than the sweat in somebody you trust
Or is it that we don't trust each other enough
And believe, havin' this child'll make us have to stay together
Girl I want you in my life cause you have made it better
Thinkin' we all in love cause we can spend a day together
We talkin' spendin' the rest of our lives
It's too many black women that can say they mothers, but can't say that they wives
I wouldn't chose any other to mother my understanding
But I want our parenthood to come from planning
It's so much in my life that's undone
We gotta see eye to eye, about family, before we can become one
If you had decided to have it the situation I wouldn't run from
But I'm walkin', findin' myself in my God
So I can, discipline my son with my rod
Not have a judge tellin' me how and when to raise my seed
Though his death was at our greed, with no one else to blame
I had a book of African names, case our minds changed
You say your period hasn't came, and lately I've been sleepy
So quit smokin' the weed and the beadies and let's have this boy
I never dreamed you'd leave in summer
You said you would be here when it rained
Why didn't you stay
I never dreamed you'd leave in summer
Now the situations made things change
Why didn't you stay