sabrina
I woke up from a deep sleep
I must've had a nightmare
But I really cannot remember
My heart was beating up out of my chest and I was cold
I must've left the window cracked
Twenty-fifth of September and the winter's coming back
The house is unusually quiet and I'm wondering where Sabrina's at
By this time at eight o'clock
She would've been pullin' on my blanket
Saying daddy "I want some cereal"
Wondering where her mommy's at
My door is wide open
I can hear the breeze hit the curtains
Wind chime hangin' on the front porch singing
Sabrina must be asleep
I pull back the sheets
Get up and walk toward her room in the hall
Not a peep, not a sound, not at all
The anxiety of a father is settin' in
As I turn the corner to her room
Her Mickey Mouse blanket's on the floor
She isn't in the bed
I take a deep breath, put my hand on my head
Relax
It's a game of hide and seek
She's in the closet I know it
I open the door "Gotcha!"
She isn't there
The faint sound of the television from downstairs is playing some cartoons, she's on the couch of course
How did I oversleep?
"Baby girl, why didn't you come wake up daddy?"
Not a response
Fear turned to frustration
"Sabrina, answer me"
"'Brina, this isn't funny"
I ran to the couch, she's not there
I'm startin' to panic and I'm lookin' up everywhere
Guest rooms, bathrooms, cabinets
Under the tables, the attic
Wait a minute, oh God no
I know she wouldn't go outside
We live so far back in the woods
She wouldn't dare
It's too scary for a little girl just to go bye-bye
I'm trying to escape my mind's eye
But my imagination is runnin' wild
At this point I'm talkin' to God
"Please Lord, please I'm scared, help me find my child"
I run to the basement (Sabrina!)
Sweat beads on my hands
Pacin', thinkin', pacin', thinkin'
Turn my face in
The screen door to the backyard's ajar
I run to the swing set
Swing set? No
Sandbox? No
God dammit Sabrina where'd you go?
There's a trail to a pond that I take her to every day
Maybe she's down there
I run down the trail, it's about a hundred yards
We usually hang out on the pier
And as I get close in
Everything moves slow motion
Her little white shirt on the surface of the water
She was there – lifeless, floating (oh my God!)
The pain I can't explain, I couldn't say anything
I ran to the water
God, is this really my daughter?
I picked her up, she was heavy
I held her tight in my arms
I took her out of the pond
I laid her down in the grass
I couldn't breath, I gasped
Givin' her CPR, she wasn't respondin' to it
My phone in my pocket
My hands are shakin'
My vision's blurry
9-1-1 , send an ambulance in a hurry
But it was too late
No tellin' how long she wasn't breathing
Her skin was the color purple
Her lips were ice cold
She must have fell off the pier reachin' for her teddy bear
She tried to get out, she got wood under her nails
God, what did you do to us? What have you done?
I say my prayers at night, haven't I been a good son?
What did you do to my baby? She's mine, now give her back
You don't deserve her if you let her die like that!