momma said
Here we are, all alone
Who gives a fuck about what they say?
I'm sure I've heard much worse
People need to worry about them first
People need to learn to mind their business instead of mine
Here we are, all alone
Who gives a fuck about their dismay?
But still I'm face-to-face
With the one person I can't replace
One person I can't just tell I'm doin' fine
What up, Ma?
Been a while
Lot of catchin' up to do
Know you got a ear full
I'm listenin'
Momma said she loves me, said she cares
Said if I need her, she'll always be there
But even her sayin' that struck me as weird
Why did she feel those words I needed to hear?
Said she understands me, that was rare
'Cause no one understands me, not even my peers
And these just thoughts I never bother to share
So as I write, my eyes start to tear
I ain't tell her I'm tired, but still troopin'
Alone but I find myself regroupin'
Ain't say my brain now feel like a prison
Figured I'd shut the fuck up and listen
She continued, that was honorable
She said I get more and more irresponsible
For normal folks, she said that's a challenge
Luckily I mask mine behind talent
She said: "You are no longer yourself
I don't know what to expect of you."
Said I'm puttin' up with things I normally wouldn't
She don't know why it's acceptable
She said: "People livin' in your house
Don't pay shit, not respectable."
I told her they're folk I think highly of
She said: "Well, they must think less of you
Must feel entitled, all you doing."
I said I'll fix it, she said: "No, you won't."
Then I got defensive but still replied
I told her I need them, she said: "No, you don't."
Then she said: "When's the last time you spoke to your father?"
I said he's self-centered, why bother?
'Cause he only really call about his needs
And I ain't got enough time to deal with his greed
'Cause my days are darker
Cut from a long shank but the blade is sharper
I'm makin' my not-so-vague departure
Tell pop I'm his son, not his Spades partner
Last time that we spoke
He wanted to use the crib, throw a party here
Which wasn't partly fair
My home need to feel like home even if I throw a party here
Then he catch an attitude
And I catch one right back at you
We adore each other but ignore each other
Think this is how the fuck I wanna act with you?
Things just ain't the same
But he sure will call about a Yankee game
Like, "Call C.C. and get back to me."
What's ill is he say it so casually
I love him so much he can have all the perks
Hurts so much I take all the Percs
Hurts so much, but fuck it, it works
Hurts so much that I can't sleep
Mom say I need to sleep more
Then again, she ain't on this stress level
So many people rely on me
I'm tryin' to get us all to the next level
Wait, told her I took baby girl to the doctor
It was only for a check-up though
And she gave me the face like, "Now would be time
If there's anything I feel, I need to let her know."
But that's just Mom again, just bein' a mom again
Looked down at the tat on my arm again
God, please give me the strength, keep calm again
She asked me if Kaylin was pregnant
I looked at her like she was crazy
'Cause that's my baby, what's wrong with a baby?
She said: "Nothin' at all when you're not datin' a baby
Beautiful girl, I like everything about her thus far
I just don't wanna see you fall
Just a tad bit young, so she got some growin' up to do."
And I replied: "Don't we all?"
Momma said: "Why can't you ever be alone?"
I said: "What do you mean?"
Went to correct her, she did it herself
She said: "At least that's how it seems."
Pop ain't called, he's still mad
Still pissed, he's still angry
I'm still goin', no plan of slowin'
No way I'll ever let his immaturity taint me
Momma said that Tahiry called
That ain't shock me, they speak a lot
She's helpful and knowin' my ex…