



Produced by David Widger




The Works of Edgar Allan Poe

by Edgar Allan Poe

The Raven Edition

VOLUME IV. Contents

 THE DEVIL IN THE BELFRY
 LIONIZING
 X-ING A PARAGRAB
 METZENGERSTEIN
 THE SYSTEM OF DOCTOR TARR AND PROFESSOR FETHER
 THE LITERARY LIFE OF THINGUM BOB, ESQ. HOW TO WRITE A BLACKWOOD ARTICLE
 A PREDICAMENT
 MYSTIFICATION
 DIDDLING
 THE ANGEL OF THE ODD
 MELLONTA TAUTA
 THE DUC DE L’OMELETTE
 THE OBLONG BOX
 LOSS OF BREATH
 THE MAN THAT WAS USED UP
 THE BUSINESS MAN
 THE LANDSCAPE GARDEN
 MAELZEL’S CHESS-PLAYER
 THE POWER OF WORDS
 THE COLLOQUY OF MONOS AND UNA
 THE CONVERSATION OF EIROS AND CHARMION
 SHADOW—A PARABLE




THE DEVIL IN THE BELFRY


     What o’clock is it?—_Old Saying_. Everybody knows, in a general way, that the finest place in the
      world is—or, alas, _was_—the Dutch borough of
      Vondervotteimittiss. Yet as it lies some distance from any of the
      main roads, being in a somewhat out-of-the-way situation, there
      are perhaps very few of my readers who have ever paid it a visit. For the benefit of those who have not, therefore, it will be only
      proper that I should enter into some account of it. And this is
      indeed the more necessary, as with the hope of enlisting public
      sympathy in behalf of the inhabitants, I design here to give a
      history of the calamitous events which have so lately occurred
      within its limits. No one who knows me will doubt that the duty
      thus self-imposed will be executed to the best of my ability,
      with all that rigid impartiality, all that cautious examination
      into facts, and diligent collation of authorities, which should
      ever distinguish him who aspires to the title of historian. By the united aid of medals, manuscripts, and inscriptions, I am
      enabled to say, positively, that the borough of
      Vondervotteimittiss has existed, from its origin, in precisely
      the same condition which it at present preserves. Of the date of
      this origin, however, I grieve that I can only speak with that
      species of indefinite definiteness which mathematicians are, at
      times, forced to put up with in certain algebraic formulae. The
      date, I may thus say, in regard to the remoteness of its
      antiquity, cannot be less than any assignable quantity
      whatsoever. Touching the derivation of the name Vondervotteimittiss, I
      confess myself, with sorrow, equally at fault. Among a multitude
      of opinions upon this delicate point—some acute, some learned,
      some sufficiently the reverse—I am able to select nothing which
      ought to be considered satisfactory. Perhaps the idea of
      Grogswigg—nearly coincident with that of Kroutaplenttey—is to be
      cautiously preferred.—It runs:—“Vondervotteimittis—Vonder, lege
      Donder—Votteimittis, quasi und Bleitziz—Bleitziz obsol:—pro
      Blitzen.” This derivative, to say the truth, is still
      countenanced by some traces of the electric fluid evident on the
      summit of the steeple of the House of the Town-Council. I do not
      choose, however, to commit myself on a theme of such importance,
      and must refer the reader desirous of information to the
      “Oratiunculae de Rebus Praeter-Veteris,” of Dundergutz. See,
      also, Blunderbuzzard “De Derivationibus,” pp. 27 to 5010, Folio,
      Gothic edit., Red and Black character, Catch-word and No Cypher;
      wherein consult, also, marginal notes in the autograph of
      Stuffundpuff, with the Sub-Commentaries of Gruntundguzzell. Notwithstanding the obscurity which thus envelops the date of the
      foundation of Vondervotteimittis, and the derivation of its name,
      there can be no doubt, as I said before, that it has always
      existed as we find it at this epoch. The oldest man in the
      borough can remember not the slightest difference in the
      appearance of any portion of it; and, indeed, the very suggestion
      of such a possibility is considered an insult. The site of the
      village is in a perfectly circular valley, about a quarter of a
      mile in circumference, and entirely surrounded by gentle hills,
      over whose summit the people have never yet ventured to pass. For
      this they assign the very good reason that they do not believe
      there is anything at all on the other side. Round the skirts of the valley (which is quite level, and paved
      throughout with flat tiles), extends a continuous row of sixty
      little houses. These, having their backs on the hills, must look,
      of course, to the centre of the plain, which is just sixty yards
      from the front door of each dwelling. Every house has a small
      garden before it, with a circular path, a sun-dial, and
      twenty-four cabbages. The buildings themselves are so precisely
      alike, that one can in no manner be distinguished from the other. Owing to the vast antiquity, the style of architecture is
      somewhat odd, but it is not for that reason the less strikingly
      picturesque. They are fashioned of hard-burned little bricks,
      red, with black ends, so that the walls look like a chess-board
      upon a great scale. The gables are turned to the front, and there
      are cornices, as big as all the rest of the house, over the eaves
      and over the main doors. The windows are narrow and deep, with
      very tiny panes and a great deal of sash. On the roof is a vast
      quantity of tiles with long curly ears. The woodwork, throughout,
      is of a dark hue and there is much carving about it, with but a
      trifling variety of pattern for, time out of mind, the carvers of
      Vondervotteimittiss have never been able to carve more than two
      objects—a time-piece and a cabbage. But these they do exceedingly
      well, and intersperse them, with singular ingenuity, wherever
      they find room for the chisel. The dwellings are as much alike inside as out, and the furniture
      is all upon one plan. The floors are of square tiles, the chairs
      and tables of black-looking wood with thin crooked legs and puppy
      feet. The mantelpieces are wide and high, and have not only
      time-pieces and cabbages sculptured over the front, but a real
      time-piece, which makes a prodigious ticking, on the top in the
      middle, with a flower-pot containing a cabbage standing on each
      extremity by way of outrider. Between each cabbage and the
      time-piece, again, is a little China man having a large stomach
      with a great round hole in it, through which is seen the
      dial-plate of a watch. The fireplaces are large and deep, with fierce crooked-looking
      fire-dogs. There is constantly a rousing fire, and a huge pot
      over it, full of sauer-kraut and pork, to which the good woman of
      the house is always busy in attending.