Let her be indebted to one of her own
sex, of unquestionable reputation. Admit her into this house. Invite her
to your arms. Cherish and console her as your sister." "Before I am convinced that she deserves it? And even then, what regard
shall I, young, unmarried, independent, affluent, pay to my own
reputation in harbouring a woman in these circumstances?" "But you need not act yourself. Make me your agent and almoner. Only
supply her with the means of subsistence through me." "Would you have me act a clandestine part? Hold meetings with one of
your sex, and give him money for a purpose which I must hide from the
world? Is it worth while to be a dissembler and impostor? And will not
such conduct incur more dangerous surmises and suspicions than would
arise from acting openly and directly? You will forgive me for reminding
you, likewise, that it is particularly incumbent upon those in my
situation to be circumspect in their intercourse with men and with
strangers. This is the second time that I have seen you. My knowledge of
you is extremely dubious and imperfect, and such as would make the
conduct you prescribe to me, in a high degree, rash and culpable. You
must not, therefore, expect me to pursue it." These words were delivered with an air of firmness and dignity. I was
not insensible to the truth of her representations. "I confess," said I,
"what you have said makes me doubt the propriety of my proposal; yet I
would fain be of service to her. Cannot you point out some practicable
method?" She was silent and thoughtful, and seemed indisposed to answer my
question. "I had set my heart upon success in this negotiation," continued I, "and
could not imagine any obstacle to its success; but I find my ignorance
of the world's ways much greater than I had previously expected. You
defraud yourself of all the happiness redounding from the act of making
others happy. You sacrifice substance to show, and are more anxious to
prevent unjust aspersions from lighting on yourself, than to rescue a
fellow-creature from guilt and infamy. "You are rich, and abound in all the conveniences and luxuries of life. A small portion of your superfluity would obviate the wants of a being
not less worthy than yourself. It is not avarice or aversion to labour
that makes you withhold your hand. It is dread of the sneers and
surmises of malevolence and ignorance. "I will not urge you further at present. Your determination to be wise
should not be hasty. Think upon the subject calmly and sedately, and
form your resolution in the course of three days. At the end of that
period I will visit you again." So saying, and without waiting for
comment or answer, I withdrew. CHAPTER XL. I mounted the stage-coach at daybreak the next day, in company with a
sallow Frenchman from St. Domingo, his fiddle-case, an ape, and two
female blacks. The Frenchman, after passing the suburbs, took out his
violin and amused himself with humming to his own _tweedle-tweedle_. The
monkey now and then munched an apple, which was given to him from a
basket by the blacks, who gazed with stupid wonder, and an exclamatory
_La! La!_ upon the passing scenery, or chattered to each other in a sort
of open-mouthed, half-articulate, monotonous, singsong jargon. The man looked seldom either on this side or that; and spoke only to
rebuke the frolics of the monkey, with a "Tenez! Dominique! Prenez
garde! Diable noir!" As to me, my thought was busy in a thousand ways. I sometimes gazed at
the faces of my _four_ companions, and endeavoured to discern the
differences and samenesses between them. I took an exact account of the
features, proportions, looks, and gestures of the monkey, the Congolese,
and the Creole Gaul. I compared them together, and examined them apart. I looked at them in a thousand different points of view, and pursued,
untired and unsatiated, those trains of reflections which began at each
change of tone, feature, and attitude. I marked the country as it successively arose before me, and found
endless employment in examining the shape and substance of the fence,
the barn, and the cottage, the aspect of earth and of heaven. How great
are the pleasures of health and of mental activity! My chief occupation, however, related to the scenes into which I was
about to enter. My imaginations were, of course, crude and inadequate;
and I found an uncommon gratification in comparing realities, as they
successively occurred, with the pictures which my wayward fancy had
depicted. I will not describe my dreams. My proper task is to relate the truth. Neither shall I dwell upon the images suggested by the condition of the
country through which I passed. I will confine myself to mentioning the
transactions connected with the purpose of my journey. I reached Baltimore at night. I was not so fatigued but that I could
ramble through the town. I intended, at present, merely the
gratification of a stranger's curiosity. My visit to Mrs. Watson and her
brother I designed should take place on the morrow. The evening of my
arrival I deemed an unseasonable time. While roving about, however, it occurred to me, that it might not be
impolitic to find the way to their habitation even now. My purposes of
general curiosity would equally be served whichever way my steps were
bent; and to trace the path to their dwelling would save me the trouble
of inquiries and interrogations to-morrow. When I looked forward to an interview with the wife of Watson, and to
the subject which would be necessarily discussed at that interview, I
felt a trembling and misgiving at my heart. "Surely," thought I, "it
will become me to exercise immeasurable circumspection and address; and
yet how little are these adapted to the impetuosity and candour of my
nature! "How am I to introduce myself? What am I to tell her? That I was a sort
of witness to the murder of her husband? That I received from the hand
of his assassin the letter which I afterwards transmitted to her? and,
from the same hands, the bills contained in his girdle? "How will she start and look aghast! What suspicions will she harbour? What inquiries shall be made of me? How shall they be disarmed and
eluded, or answered? Deep consideration will be necessary before I trust
myself to such an interview. The coming night shall be devoted to
reflection upon this subject." From these thoughts I proceeded to inquiries for the street mentioned in
the advertisement, where Mrs. Watson was said to reside. The street,
and, at length, the habitation, was found. Having reached a station
opposite, I paused and surveyed the mansion. It was a wooden edifice of
two stories, humble, but neat. You ascended to the door by several stone
steps. Of the two lower windows, the shutters of one were closed, but
those of the other were open. Though late in the evening, there was no
appearance of light or fire within. Beside the house was a painted fence, through which was a gate leading
to the back of the building.