The more
I talked with her, the less I thought of Sally, till at last she
succeeded in completely supplanting her in my heart, and I found myself,
before I was well aware of it, head over ears in love with the
fascinating grisette. Here was a to do. Murder will out. Love and a cough are two things one
can't hide, as the proverb says. The odious Jacques _must_ discover my passion ere long, and a quarrel
will be inevitable. Not that I feared the likes of him, gentlemen. Don't
suppose it for a moment. Why, I'd take half a dozen or so of such
fellows one off and another on, and thrash the whole lot of them as easy
as a game of ninepins. Well, but to proceed, gentlemen. What I foresaw
soon happened. One day while taking my French lesson under Mademoiselle
Pauline, and we were chatting away merrily enough without taking any
notice of Jacques, who was arranging pots of bears' grease on the
shelves in the background, our heads drew very close together, and we
were looking very fondly into each other's eyes and whispering rather
low. Now, I knew that there was no engagement between her and Jacques,
therefore I had every right to pay her just the same attention that he
did, and I intended to let him know it. Well, my head might have touched
hers, or my locks may have intermingled with hers as we pored over the
French grammar together. However this may have been, something or other
seems to have exasperated my rival, for I heard him mutter to himself
something like _Cochon d'un Anglais_. I was getting on in my French now
and understood the words, so turning round, I said,

"Did your remark refer to me, Monsieur Jacques?" "_Oui à vous_," he said, furiously, now losing all command over himself,
and heedless of the consequences; "and I repeat my remark." Here he repeated his obnoxious epithet with an invective against my
countrymen in general. "Hold there!" I cried, for I began to feel my English blood boil in my
veins, and in the best French I could muster, said,

"Retract your words. I give you one chance to apologise, and if you
refuse----"

Before I could finish my rival's legs had formed a right angle, and I
received a _savât_ in the eye. Stung by the pain, and still more by the
insult, I felt the strength of our whole line of barbers rush into my
veins, and clenching my fist convulsively I let forth so terrible a blow
in the chest of my adversary as to make him measure his length upon the
floor, and cause the back of his head to resound against it like a
cocoanut. Miss Pauline screamed, but the next moment my rival had
bounced upright upon his feet, and seized a razor. Another scream from
Pauline as he was making towards me, razor in hand, but this time I took
up a chair and with it gave him such a blow over the knuckles as made
him drop the razor and yell in agony. I laid down the chair, thinking
that the fight was now over, but the Frenchman sprang on to me again
like a hungry tiger, and so unexpected was the movement that I nearly
lost my balance, but with great adroitness I managed to trip him up, and
he fell under me. He now began to bite and to scratch, but I seized his hair and banged
his head against the ground several times. He then clutched me anew, and
we began rolling over and over on the floor, Pauline screaming all the
while, but extricating myself at length from his grasp, I bounded to my
feet, and before he had time to rise placed one foot upon his throat. At
this moment my employer attracted by his daughter's screams, entered. "_Mille diables!_" he cried, fiercely, "_ques-ce-que ce tappage la? Ah! ça, Monsieur Godam_," said he, turning full upon me, "_esce que vous
êtes entré chez moi pour ensegner le box à mes eléves?_"

Here Pauline broke in. "No, I assure you, dear papa, it was not the Englishman's fault. Millefleurs began the quarrel. I saw him kick the Englishman in the
eye." "Ha! Monsieur Jacques, you did kick the Englishman in the eye?" inquired
my employer; "and what for did you kick the Englishman in the eye?" "Because he used undue familiarity towards Mademoiselle," said Jacques,
doggedly. Le Chauve glanced suspiciously first at me then at his daughter, but
Pauline, stung at Jacques' mean attempt at exposing me as well as
herself to her father's obloquy, rose in all the pride of injured
womanhood, as if to take the whole burden of defence upon herself, and
standing erect with compressed lips and white with passion, cried,

"It is false, 'tis a base lie! The Englishman never treated me otherwise
than with the greatest respect, nor have I ever received at his hands
any of those attentions that in my indulgence I have permitted from
yourself. Think not, however, Master Jacques, that this calumny will
serve your turn, or that I am blind to the paltry motives that prompted
it. Your absurd jealousy is seen through, and has met with its just
chastisement. What was it to you, I pray, even if the Englishman _had_
paid me attention? Must you be the only one to pay me attention? You
know very well that I have never granted you any right to monopolise me,
however your conceit may have deluded you. Beware, therefore, in future
how you attempt to calumniate either myself or this Englishman, for as
sure as you are born you will not succeed in your scheme, and know, once
for all, Monsieur Jacques Millefleurs, that for the future I wish all
those attentions that you have been pleased to lavish upon me so
profusely whenever my father's back was turned, to cease. Respect me as
your employer's daughter, for I vow never to be anything more to you." She ceased; but during her harangue, Pauline's deportment was
majestic--it was sublime. No longer was she the little grisette with the
cock-nose and the wide mouth, but a tragedy queen pronouncing a
malediction. She appeared now at least half a head taller, so imposing
was her attitude. The roses and smile had deserted her countenance, and
were supplanted by a ghastly pallor, while from her dark eyes flashed a
withering scorn, under which Jacques appeared to quail like a whipped
hound, but which feeling his natural pride sought to overcome. Rage, grief, jealousy, and confusion struggled in his breast for the
mastery, as he stood speechless, with clenched fists, teeth set, flushed
face, and straining eyeballs fixed upon the ground, to which the tears
would start spite of all his efforts to repress them. His hair
disordered and dirty, as well as his clothes, from his fall, he looked
altogether the very picture of maniacal despair. "Ha! Jacques," said his employer, "is this true? What! have you dared to
raise your eyes to my daughter, and that, too, behind my back, without
my permission--_hein_?" Jacques, overcome with shame and speechless, never lifted his eyes from
the ground, whilst the large tears, blinding him and overflowing, fell
heavily on the floor. "_Prenez garde, Monsieur Jacques_," said Le Chauve, "for, _parbleu!_ if
I hear any more of these clandestine overtures with my daughter I'll
discharge you on the spot.