And you, too, Ma'meselle Pauline, you, too,
were much to blame in not telling me at once of this boy's insolent
pretensions. But, tell me once more, who began this ridiculous quarrel? Who gave the first blow?" "Please, sir," said I, now speaking for the first time, "I was taking my
French lesson with your daughter, when Monsieur Jacques was pleased to
call me '_cochon_,' and abused my country. I demanded an apology, which
he refused, and before I was aware of it, kicked me in the eye. I gave
one straight blow with my fist, _comme ça_"--(here I imitated the blow
to show him how an Englishman could knock a Frenchman down)--"and he
fell full length upon the floor." "Yes, it is true, papa," broke in Pauline; "the Englishman has spoken
the truth." "_C'etait bien fait, c'etait bien fait_," said her father; "go on." "Then," resumed I, "Millefleurs sprang again to his feet, and seized a
razor." "Ha! he seized a razor? Is that so, Monsieur Millefleurs? Did you seize
a razor?" Jacques was silent as before, while I proceeded, "I then seized a
chair." "You seized a chair, _hébien_!" "And I knocked the razor out of his hand. He fell to the ground with
pain, and yelled." "_Encore, bien fait--après?_"

"He jumped up again, and pounced upon me like a tiger, and nearly
knocked me over, but I tripped him up in time, and he fell to the
ground, together with myself, and then we rolled over and over each
other on the floor, till I at length succeeded in extricating myself,
and placed my foot upon his neck, when you entered, sir." "_C'est bien vraie_," burst in Pauline again; "the Englishman has given
an exact account of the quarrel." "Ha! is that so?" asked Le Chauve. "_Hébien!_ Monsieur Jacques, you have
refused to apologise to the Englishman for insulting him and kicking him
in the eye. Now, I command you to apologise to him, or out of my shop
you shall go at once. Do you hear?" "Non; _mille fois non_!" cried Jacques, stamping with rage, forgetful
alike of the respect due to his master and the presence of Pauline, "I
would sooner die first." "Then prepare at once to leave my house. Take up your bundle and walk!" The peremptory manner in which these words were said caused Jacques to
pause and weigh matters. "If my employer actually does send me off," he probably said to himself,
"then adieu to Pauline for ever, but if I consent to apologise, I shall
remain here, and may in time succeed in cutting out the Englishman." This was probably his mode of reasoning, for he was too good a
politician not to know where his interests lay, so changing his tone
entirely, and gulping down with difficulty something that was rising in
his throat, and which, if he had given expression to, would probably
have resembled an ingenious French oath, he replied with great apparent
calmness,

"Monsieur Le Chauve, you have always been a good master to me, and I
have always tried to prove myself worthy of your kindness, and I should
be sorry to leave you for a trifle, therefore I will obey you, and will
demand pardon of _mon cher confrere l'anglais_, for having in a moment
of ungovernable passion kicked him in the eye, and insulted him." This was said in turning towards me, and in all humility. "And you, Monsieur Suds, if you forgive him, offer him your hand." I extended my hand towards my fellow assistant, which he took in his,
and I expressed sorrow for the part I had had in the quarrel, but I
noticed that the hand of Jacques Millefleurs was icy cold. "_Allons mes enfants_," said Le Chauve, "now don't let me hear any more
of these silly quarrels, but go in peace." We both set about our respective duties, but I knew enough of the
Frenchman's character to be sure that his apology did not come from his
heart, but had been forced out of him from motives of policy, and I was
not at all sure that this would be the last of such quarrels, but had no
doubt that he would vent his petty spite upon me on the very next
opportunity. I had hardly re-settled myself, and proceeded with my wig, when a
stranger of dignified appearance entered and demanded to be shaved. I
had no difficulty in recognising in him a countryman. Glad of an
opportunity of speaking English again after so long, I answered him in
his own mother tongue. "Want to be shaved, sir? Yes, sir." "Ah, you are English!" he said. "Yes, sir, one of the latest imported," said I. "Only arrived here a
month ago to perfect myself in the art of barber-craft amongst these
foreigners. Served under Mr. Hackchin in the village of D----, in
----shire, where I have learnt to shave, cut hair, make wigs, mix hair
grease, and all the rest of it, and as for tooth drawing, bleeding, and
quack salving, you won't find the likes of me in all the countryside. My
name is Suds, sir, at your service. Maybe you have heard tell of my
father or my grandfather. The Suds have been barbers from time
immemorial." "Oh, indeed?" said the stranger. Then muttered to himself,
"Suds--Suds--I fancy I have heard the name before." And I should just think he had, gentlemen. Why, my grandfather once
shaved His Majesty King George I., or George II., or Queen Anne, or one
of that lot, I forget which, as my father used to tell me. Well, gentlemen, when I had got my countryman fairly lathered, and had
commenced operations, I noticed that he glanced half-quizzingly at my
eye, which was now black and swollen from the kick I had received from
my adversary. "You seem to have a bad cold in your eye, Mr. Suds," he remarked, with
an ill-repressed smile. "No, sir," I replied, "it is not exactly that." "Not a cold!" exclaimed he, feigning astonishment. "Dear me! it's very
like one. Then if I might venture to guess, I should say you had been
in a fight, and got the worst of it." "Well, not exactly, sir," said I; "not the worst of it; no, not the
worst of it. It is true I had a slight difference of opinion this
morning with a young man of the shop, a mere trifle--an affair of
jealousy, that's all, sir." "And I presume that that neat little baggage in the corner of the shop
with the jimp waist and well starched cap was the fair cause of this
trifling jealousy--am I right?" "Well, really, sir, your penetration is such that it serves not to deny
it," said I. "If you had only arrived five minutes earlier, you would
have caught me at it tooth and nail. Oh! it _was_ fine, sir. He caught
me a kick in the eye unawares--French fashion you know, sir. Englishmen
don't like that sort of game, it takes them by surprise; but you should
have seen how I floored him with a good English blow in the chest that
made him measure his length upon the ground. You should have heard what
a whack his head came against the floor. It sounded for all the world
like an empty cask. It will ache for him this next fortnight to come,
I'll warrant." "Oh! then England _wasn't_ thrashed after all?" said he. "Not a bit of it," said I, proudly. "Well, you seem a smart lad," said he. "I don't mind giving you a job to
do every morning during my stay in Paris.