"'Ask me to make no promises,' said I; 'I may not be able to keep them;
therefore, ask me to make none.' --'I do ask you, beg of, entreat of you
to promise, and solemnly promise me that you will leave that fearful
place, where men not only lose all their goods, but the feelings of
nature also.' "'Say no more, Lizzy; if I can get a living elsewhere I will, but if
not, I must get it there.' "She seemed to be cast down at this, and she shed tears. I left the
room, and again went to the gambling-house, and there that night, I won
a few pounds, which enabled me to take my wife and child away from the
house they had so long lived in, and took them afterwards to a miserable
place,--one room, where, indeed, there were a few articles of furniture
that I had saved from the general wreck of my own property. "She took things much less to heart than I could have anticipated; she
seemed cheerful and happy,--she endeavoured to make my home as
comfortable as she could. "Her whole endeavour was to make me as much as possible, forget the
past. She wanted, as much as possible, to wean me away from my gambling
pursuits, but that was impossible. I had no hope, no other prospect. "Thus she strove, but I could see each day she was getting paler, and
more pale; her figure, before round, was more thin, and betrayed signs
of emaciation. This preyed upon me; and, when fortune denied me the
means of carrying home that which she so much wanted, I could never
return for two days at a time. Then I would find her shedding tears, and
sighing; what could I say? If I had anything to take her, then I used to
endeavour to make her forget that I had been away. "'Ah!' she would exclaim, 'you will find me dead one of these days; what
you do now for one or two days, you will do by-and-bye for many days,
perhaps weeks.' --'Do not anticipate evil.' "'I cannot do otherwise; were you in any other kind of employment but
that of gambling,' she said, 'I should have some hope of you; but, as it
is, there is none.' --'Speak not of it; my chances may turn out
favourable yet, and you may be again as you were.' "'Never.' --'But fortune is inconstant, and may change in my favour as
much as she has done in others.' "'Fortune is indeed constant, but misfortune is as inconstant.' --'You
are prophetic of evil." "'Ah! I would to Heaven I could predict good; but who ever yet heard of
a ruined gambler being able to retrieve himself by the same means that
he was ruined?' "Thus we used to converse, but our conversation was usually of but
little comfort to either of us, for we could give neither any comfort to
the other; and as that was usually the case, our interviews became less
frequent, and of less duration. My answer was always the same. "'I have no other chance; my prospects are limited to that one place;
deprive me of that, and I never more should be able to bring you a
mouthful of bread.' "Day after day,--day after day, the same result followed, and I was as
far from success as ever I was, and ever should be; I was yet a beggar. "The time flew by; my little girl was nearly four years old, but she
knew not the misery her father and mother had to endure. The poor little
thing sometimes went without more than a meal a day; and while I was
living thus upon the town, upon the chances of the gaming-table, many a
pang did she cause me, and so did her mother. My constant consolation
was this,--

"'It is bad luck now,' I would say; 'but will be better by-and-bye;
things cannot always continue thus. It is all for them--all for them.' "I thought that by continuing constantly in one course, I must be at
land at the ebb of the tide. 'It cannot always flow one way,' I thought. I had often heard people say that if you could but have the resolution
to play on, you must in the end seize the turn of fortune. "'If I could but once do that, I would never enter a hell again as long
as I drew breath.' "This was a resolve I could not only make but keep, because I had
suffered so much that I would never run through the same misery again
that I had already gone through. However, fortune never seemed inclined
to take the turn I had hoped for; fortune was as far off as ever, and
had in no case given me any opportunity of recovering myself. "A few pounds were the utmost I could at any time muster, and I had to
keep up something of an appearance, and seem as if I had a thousand a
year; when, God knows, I could not have mustered a thousandth part of
that sum, were all done and paid for. "Day after day passed on, and yet no change. I had almost given myself
up to despair, when one night when I went home I saw my wife was more
than usually melancholy and sad, and perhaps ill; I didn't look at
her--I seldom did, because her looks were always a reproach to me; I
could not help feeling them so. "'Well,' said I, 'I have come home to you because I have something to
bring you; not what I ought--but what I can--you must be satisfied!' --'I
am,' she said. "'I know also you want it; how is the child, is she quite well?' --'Yes,
quite.' "'Where is she?' inquired I, looking round the room, but I didn't see
her; she used to be up.--'She has gone to bed,' she said. "'It is very early.' --'Yes, but she cried so for food that I was obliged
to get her to sleep to forget her hunger: poor thing, she has wanted
bread very badly.' "'Poor thing!' I said, 'let her be awakened and partake of what I have
brought home.' "With that my wife waked her up, and the moment she opened her eyes she
again began to cry for food, which I immediately gave her and saw her
devour with the utmost haste and hunger. The sight smote my heart, and
my wife sat by watching, and endeavouring to prevent her from eating so
fast. "'This is bad,' I said.--'Yes, but I hope it may be the worst,' she
replied, in a deep and hollow voice. "'Lizzy,' I exclaimed, 'what is the matter--are you ill?' --'Yes, very
ill.'

"'What is the matter with you? For God's sake tell me,' I said, for I
was alarmed.--'I am very ill,' she said, 'very ill indeed; I feel my
strength decreasing every day. I must drink.' "You, too, want food?' --'I have and perhaps do, though the desire to eat
seems almost to have left me.' "'For Heaven's sake eat,' said I; 'I will bring you home something more
by to-morrow; eat and drink Lizzy. I have suffered; but for you and your
child's sake, I will do my best.' --'Your best,' she said, 'will kill us
both; but, alas, there is no other aid at hand. You may one day,
however, come here too late to find us living.' "'Say no more, Lizzy, you know not my feelings when you speak thus;
alas, I have no hope--no aid--no friend.' --'No,' she replied, 'your love
of gaming drove them from you, because they would not aid a gambler.' "'Say no more, Lizzy,' I said; 'if there be not an end to this life
soon, there will be an end to me. In two days more I shall return to
you. Good bye; God bless you. Keep up your heart and the child.' --'Good
bye,' she said, sorrowfully.