In accordance with this announcement, my sister and Mr. Carew arrived in
Dublin, where one of my father's carriages awaited them, in readiness to
start upon whatever day or hour they might choose for their departure. It was arranged that Mr. Carew was, as soon as the day upon which they
were to leave Dublin was definitely fixed, to write to my father, who
intended that the two last stages should be performed by his own
horses, upon whose speed and safety far more reliance might be placed
than upon those of the ordinary post-horses, which were at that time,
almost without exception, of the very worst order. The journey, one of
about ninety miles, was to be divided; the larger portion being reserved
for the second day. On Sunday a letter reached us, stating that the party would leave Dublin
on Monday, and in due course reach Ashtown upon Tuesday evening. Tuesday came: the evening closed in, and yet no carriage; darkness came
on, and still no sign of our expected visitors. Hour after hour passed away, and it was now past twelve; the night was
remarkably calm, scarce a breath stirring, so that any sound, such as
that produced by the rapid movement of a vehicle, would have been
audible at a considerable distance. For some such sound I was feverishly
listening. It was, however, my father's rule to close the house at nightfall, and
the window-shutters being fastened, I was unable to reconnoitre the
avenue as I would have wished. It was nearly one o'clock, and we began
almost to despair of seeing them upon that night, when I thought I
distinguished the sound of wheels, but so remote and faint as to make me
at first very uncertain. The noise approached; it became louder and
clearer; it stopped for a moment. I now heard the shrill screaming of the rusty iron, as the avenue gate
revolved on its hinges; again came the sound of wheels in rapid motion. "It is they," said I, starting up; "the carriage is in the avenue." We all stood for a few moments breathlessly listening. On thundered
the vehicle with the speed of the whirlwind; crack went the whip, and
clatter went the wheels, as it rattled over the uneven pavement of the
court. A general and furious barking from all the dogs about the house
hailed its arrival. We hurried to the hall in time to hear the steps let down with the sharp
clanging noise peculiar to the operation, and the hum of voices exerted
in the bustle of arrival. The hall door was now thrown open, and we all
stepped forth to greet our visitors. The court was perfectly empty; the moon was shining broadly and brightly
upon all around; nothing was to be seen but the tall trees with their
long spectral shadows, now wet with the dews of midnight. We stood gazing from right to left as if suddenly awakened from a dream;
the dogs walked suspiciously, growling and snuffling about the court,
and by totally and suddenly ceasing their former loud barking, expressed
the predominance of fear. We stared one upon another in perplexity and dismay, and I think I never
beheld more pale faces assembled. By my father's directions, we looked
about to find anything which might indicate or account for the noise
which we had heard; but no such thing was to be seen--even the mire
which lay upon the avenue was undisturbed. We returned to the house,
more panic-struck than I can describe. On the next day, we learned by a messenger, who had ridden hard the
greater part of the night, that my sister was dead. On Sunday evening
she had retired to bed rather unwell, and on Monday her indisposition
declared itself unequivocally to be malignant fever. She became hourly
worse, and, on Tuesday night, a little after midnight, she expired. I mention this circumstance, because it was one upon which a thousand
wild and fantastical reports were founded, though one would have thought
that the truth scarcely required to be improved upon; and again, because
it produced a strong and lasting effect upon my spirits, and indeed, I
am inclined to think, upon my character. I was, for several years after this occurrence, long after the violence
of my grief subsided, so wretchedly low-spirited and nervous, that I
could scarcely be said to live; and during this time, habits of
indecision, arising out of a listless acquiescence in the will of
others, a fear of encountering even the slightest opposition, and a
disposition to shrink from what are commonly called amusements, grew
upon me so strongly, that I have scarcely even yet altogether overcome
them. We saw nothing more of Mr. Carew. He returned to England as soon as the
melancholy rites attendant upon the event which I have just mentioned
were performed; and not being altogether inconsolable, he married again
within two years; after which, owing to the remoteness of our relative
situations, and other circumstances, we gradually lost sight of him. I was now an only child; and, as my elder sister had died without issue,
it was evident that, in the ordinary course of things, my father's
property, which was altogether in his power, would go to me; and the
consequence was, that before I was fourteen, Ashtown House was besieged
by a host of suitors. However, whether it was that I was too young, or
that none of the aspirants to my hand stood sufficiently high in rank or
wealth, I was suffered by both parents to do exactly as I pleased; and
well was it for me, as I afterwards found, that fortune, or rather
Providence, had so ordained it, that I had not suffered my affections to
become in any degree engaged, for my mother would never have suffered
any silly fancy of mine, as she was in the habit of styling an
attachment, to stand in the way of her ambitious views--views which she
was determined to carry into effect in defiance of every obstacle, and
in order to accomplish which she would not have hesitated to sacrifice
anything so unreasonable and contemptible as a girlish passion. When I reached the age of sixteen, my mother's plans began to develop
themselves; and, at her suggestion, we moved to Dublin to sojourn for
the winter, in order that no time might be lost in disposing of me to
the best advantage. I had been too long accustomed to consider myself as of no importance
whatever, to believe for a moment that I was in reality the cause of all
the bustle and preparation which surrounded me; and being thus relieved
from the pain which a consciousness of my real situation would have
inflicted, I journeyed towards the capital with a feeling of total
indifference. My father's wealth and connection had established him in the best
society, and consequently, upon our arrival in the metropolis, we
commanded whatever enjoyment or advantages its gaieties afforded. The tumult and novelty of the scenes in which I was involved did not
fail considerably to amuse me, and my mind gradually recovered its tone,
which was naturally cheerful. It was almost immediately known and reported that I was an heiress, and
of course my attractions were pretty generally acknowledged.