But if he did not give her his estate,
he might extend to her, forsooth, his counsel and protection. "That I've
offered to do," continued he. "She may come and live in my house, if she
will. She may do some of the family work. I'll discharge the chambermaid
to make room for her. Lizzy, if I remember right, has a pretty face. She
can't have a better market for it than as chambermaid to an inn. If she
minds her p's and q's she may make up a handsome sum at the year's end." I thought it time to break off the conference; and, my dinner being
finished, took my leave, leaving behind me the character of _a queer
sort of chap_. I speeded to the prothonotary's office, which was kept in
the village, and quickly ascertained the truth of Hadwin's pretensions. There existed a mortgage, with bond and warrant of attorney, to so great
an amount as would swallow up every thing at Malverton. Furnished with
these tidings, I prepared, with a drooping heart, to return to Mr. Curling's. CHAPTER XXXIV. This incident necessarily produced a change in my views with regard to
my friend. Her fortune consisted of a few hundreds of dollars, which,
frugally administered, might procure decent accommodation in the
country. When this was consumed, she must find subsistence in tending
the big wheel or the milk-pail, unless fortune should enable me to place
her in a more favourable situation. This state was, in some respects,
but little different from that in which she had spent the former part of
her life; but, in her father's house, these employments were dignified
by being, in some degree, voluntary, and relieved by frequent intervals
of recreation and leisure. Now they were likely to prove irksome and
servile, in consequence of being performed for hire and imposed by
necessity. Equality, parental solicitudes, and sisterly endearments,
would be wanting to lighten the yoke. These inconveniences, however, were imaginary. This was the school in
which fortitude and independence were to be learned. Habit, and the
purity of rural manners, would, likewise, create anew those ties which
death had dissolved. The affections of parent and sister would be
supplied by the fonder and more rational attachments of friendship. These toils were not detrimental to beauty or health. What was to be
dreaded from them was their tendency to quench the spirit of liberal
curiosity; to habituate the person to bodily, rather than intellectual,
exertions; to supersede and create indifference or aversion to the only
instruments of rational improvement, the pen and the book. This evil, however, was at some distance from Eliza. Her present abode
was quiet and serene. Here she might enjoy domestic pleasures and
opportunities of mental improvement for the coming twelvemonth at least. This period would, perhaps, be sufficient for the formation of studious
habits. What schemes should be adopted for this end would be determined
by the destiny to which I myself should be reserved. My path was already chalked out, and my fancy now pursued it with
uncommon pleasure. To reside in your family; to study your profession;
to pursue some subordinate or casual mode of industry, by which I might
purchase leisure for medical pursuits, for social recreations, and for
the study of mankind on your busy and thronged stage, was the scope of
my wishes. This destiny would not hinder punctual correspondence and
occasional visits to Eliza. Her pen might be called into action, and her
mind be awakened by books, and every hour be made to add to her stores
of knowledge and enlarge the bounds of her capacity. I was spiritless and gloomy when I left ----; but reflections on my
future lot, and just views of the situation of my friend, insensibly
restored my cheerfulness. I arrived at Mr. Curling's in the evening, and
hastened to impart to Eliza the issue of my commission. It gave her
uneasiness, merely as it frustrated the design, on which she had fondly
mused, of residing in the city. She was somewhat consoled by my promises
of being her constant correspondent and occasional visitor. Next morning I set out on my journey hither, on foot. The way was not
long; the weather, though cold, was wholesome and serene. My spirits
were high, and I saw nothing in the world before me but sunshine and
prosperity. I was conscious that my happiness depended not on the
revolutions of nature or the caprice of man. All without was, indeed,
vicissitude and uncertainty; but within my bosom was a centre not to be
shaken or removed. My purposes were honest and steadfast. Every sense
was the inlet of pleasure, because it was the avenue of knowledge; and
my soul brooded over the world to ideas, and glowed with exultation at
the grandeur and beauty of its own creations. This felicity was too rapturous to be of long duration. I gradually
descended from these heights; and the remembrance of past incidents,
connected with the images of your family, to which I was returning, led
my thoughts into a different channel. Welbeck and the unhappy girl whom
he had betrayed; Mrs. Villars and Wallace, were recollected anew. The
views which I had formed, for determining the fate and affording
assistance to Clemenza, were recalled. My former resolutions with regard
to her had been suspended by the uncertainty in which the fate of the
Hadwins was, at that time, wrapped. Had it not become necessary wholly
to lay aside these resolutions? That, indeed, was an irksome conclusion. No wonder that I struggled to
repel it; that I fostered the doubt whether money was the only
instrument of benefit; whether caution, and fortitude, and knowledge,
were not the genuine preservatives from evil. Had I not the means in my
hands of dispelling her fatal ignorance of Welbeck and of those with
whom she resided? Was I not authorized, by my previous though slender
intercourse, to seek her presence? Suppose I should enter Mrs. Villars's house, desire to be introduced to
the lady, accost her with affectionate simplicity, and tell her the
truth? Why be anxious to smooth the way? why deal in apologies,
circuities, and innuendoes? All these are feeble and perverse
refinements, unworthy of an honest purpose and an erect spirit. To
believe her inaccessible to my visit was absurd. To wait for the
permission of those whose interest it might be to shut out visitants was
cowardice. This was an infringement of her liberty which equity and law
equally condemned. By what right could she be restrained from
intercourse with others? Doors and passages may be between her and me. With a purpose such as mine, no one had a right to close the one or
obstruct the other. Away with cowardly reluctances and clownish
scruples, and let me hasten this moment to her dwelling. Mrs. Villars is the portress of the mansion. She will probably present
herself before me, and demand the reason of my visit. What shall I say
to her? The truth. To falter, or equivocate, or dissemble to this woman
would be wicked.