But truly I had no remembering of this thing, and did look at her
awhile, with somewhat of a trouble upon me; for, that there should be
aught lacking in my memory of those times that we did be together upon
this world, was a fear unto me, and a vague sorrow alway, if that I did
but to let my thought go that way; though, indeed, I did ever strive to
wiseness, and did have knowledge that there doth be an heart-wearing and
despair and needless trouble in vain regrets; but yet these to be
natural unto the spirit, if that you to know love; and do be but the
complement of the love-joy, and mayhap to have a use unto the sweetening
of the spirit, if that they be not let to over-ride the reason. And whilst that I did look unto Mine Own, that she help me to remember,
she did strive with her Memory. But in the end, did fail to come unto
aught of clearness, save that she did see, as in a far dream, yet very
plain, a great metal roadway, set in two lines that went forever unto
the setting Sun; and she then sudden to say that she did see in her
memory the Sun, and she to have a strange and troubled amazement upon
her. And there did be Cities upon the great road; and the houses did be
strange-seeming, and did move forward eternally and at a constant speed;
and behind them the Night did march forever; and they to have an even
pace with the sun, that they live ever in the light, and so to escape
the night which pursued forever, as she did tell, and a dread and
terrible chill that did live in the night. And there did be cities far
forward in the morning Sunshine, that did have gone before at speed, and
set the husbandry of the world, and to be finished and gone forward
again ere that certain of the latter cities did come to that place to
the reaping; and the night to come presently to that place; but this not
to be for some part of a year after that the crops were taken. But how
long this might be, she not to remember. And all this the Maid did say to me, as out of a strange dream, and I to
have set it down, and to have made it so clear to you as she to have
told it; and surely it doth be plain then that she to speak of a time
when that the day did be grown to a monstrous length, because that the
world did turn but slow and weary. And it to be a sureness, as you shall perceive, that but to stand still
in that age of which Naani told, was to be left presently in an utter
night and chill, that should last mayhap a great and weary year. And, in
verity, it doth seem that all Humanity did travel forever in that
strange age, when that to stay was to die unprepared in the bitter
night, and to go forward, was to be forever in the sun. And truly, this
doth be so strange seeming to me, as to you. And much I questioned the Maid, and did have an hurt within my heart,
and a pain of jealousy and sadness to grow in me; for surely she did
speak of some life that she did live, when that I did be elsewhere,
either in Life or Unknowing. And, in verity, what man then should have
taught Mine Own to love him? And she then mayhap to have had no
remembering of me. And truly I questioned very desperate, and the more so because that I
was yet weak, and lacking my strength to be composed. But she neither to
remember me nor any other man of that time; and to have no memories,
save these bare things that she to have spoken out so strange, and which
did come sudden unto her out of all the deepness of the years and the
lost sorrows and joys and wonders of that which doth make a World of
Humans. And surely my questionings brought a distress upon Mine Own, both
because that she did be troubled by the way that my love did bring me to
this strange anguish, and because that she also to have pain, and a
sudden fear that there did be ever a time when she not to have known me,
or to have permitted the arms of another. And she did then strive that she be both wise and strong, and to give
help unto me, and to take reason unto her own easing. And truly she to
show how that she did be all unknowing of any love in that far backward
time; but it to be possible in reason that she to have gone to another,
in natural course, the while that her heart did yearn alway in vague
trouble unto Her Own, that her spirit did mayhap never to have
forgotten. And, truly, this doth be the way of Life, and a bitter thing
and a sorrow to Joyous Love to think upon; yet I here to be set to the
tellings of Truth, and to have heed to all that reason doth show to be. But Mine Own did also have us both to remember that there did be equal
right to think that she had died Mine Own Maid in that life; for that it
did be not out of reason to think that she had been void-hearted unto
all men, because that she had known in her spirit that she did once to
meet Her Own, and did be thereafter untuned unto all other men that ever
did live. And this all to be in a mist, and we to go vainly. And of her
will, she did think that no man did ever to have possessed her, save I;
yet this to be mayhaps only the prompting of her love; and she then to
kiss me, and to say that there did be no surety in aught, but only that
we did have been together before, and have borne a love so great that it
did live through Eternity; and we to be now together, and maybe all else
to be but dreams. And truly I did have a fierce hope that this be so; and the Maid
likewise so to hope, yet to be less bitter with rebellion than I, though
in pain upon the thought; for she did be so utter and dreadful glad and
in happy thankfulness that we did be now come together again in the end;
and did mean that she conquer all that should be like to set a greyness
upon our joy, and to be steadfast unto this end. And I afterward to be likewise in wisdom, when that I was come the more
to strength, and to mind that I suffer vainly for that which did have no
surety, as I have shown; and moreover I did have no power upon the past,
either to learn aught or to mend aught; so that I did go the way of an
Human, and did shake free from these broodings, and strove unto
forgetfulness; which, in truth, doth be both a Terror and a
Mercifulness, as doth chance. And I kist Mine Own Maid, with somewhat
more of the years within my love; and she to kiss me very sober and
dear; and to desire only for my happiness, and to be utter mine own.