Without, however, taking offence at behaviour so excessively
      rude, the tall president smiled very graciously upon the
      intruders—nodded to them in a dignified manner with his head of
      sable plumes—and, arising, took each by an arm, and led him to a
      seat which some others of the company had placed in the meantime
      for his accommodation. Legs to all this offered not the slightest
      resistance, but sat down as he was directed; while the gallant
      Hugh, removing his coffin tressel from its station near the head
      of the table, to the vicinity of the little consumptive lady in
      the winding sheet, plumped down by her side in high glee, and
      pouring out a skull of red wine, quaffed it to their better
      acquaintance. But at this presumption the stiff gentleman in the
      coffin seemed exceedingly nettled; and serious consequences might
      have ensued, had not the president, rapping upon the table with
      his truncheon, diverted the attention of all present to the
      following speech:

      “It becomes our duty upon the present happy occasion—”

      “Avast there!” interrupted Legs, looking very serious, “avast
      there a bit, I say, and tell us who the devil ye all are, and
      what business ye have here, rigged off like the foul fiends, and
      swilling the snug blue ruin stowed away for the winter by my
      honest shipmate, Will Wimble, the undertaker!”

      At this unpardonable piece of ill-breeding, all the original
      company half started to their feet, and uttered the same rapid
      succession of wild fiendish shrieks which had before caught the
      attention of the seamen. The president, however, was the first to
      recover his composure, and at length, turning to Legs with great
      dignity, recommenced:

      “Most willingly will we gratify any reasonable curiosity on the
      part of guests so illustrious, unbidden though they be. Know then
      that in these dominions I am monarch, and here rule with
      undivided empire under the title of ‘King Pest the First.’

      “This apartment, which you no doubt profanely suppose to be the
      shop of Will Wimble the undertaker—a man whom we know not, and
      whose plebeian appellation has never before this night thwarted
      our royal ears—this apartment, I say, is the Dais-Chamber of our
      Palace, devoted to the councils of our kingdom, and to other
      sacred and lofty purposes. “The noble lady who sits opposite is Queen Pest, our Serene
      Consort. The other exalted personages whom you behold are all of
      our family, and wear the insignia of the blood royal under the
      respective titles of ‘His Grace the Arch Duke Pest-Iferous’—‘His
      Grace the Duke Pest-Ilential’—‘His Grace the Duke Tem-Pest’—and
      ‘Her Serene Highness the Arch Duchess Ana-Pest.’

      “As regards,” continued he, “your demand of the business upon
      which we sit here in council, we might be pardoned for replying
      that it concerns, and concerns alone, our own private and regal
      interest, and is in no manner important to any other than
      ourself. But in consideration of those rights to which as guests
      and strangers you may feel yourselves entitled, we will
      furthermore explain that we are here this night, prepared by deep
      research and accurate investigation, to examine, analyze, and
      thoroughly determine the indefinable spirit—the incomprehensible
      qualities and nature—of those inestimable treasures of the
      palate, the wines, ales, and liqueurs of this goodly metropolis:
      by so doing to advance not more our own designs than the true
      welfare of that unearthly sovereign whose reign is over us all,
      whose dominions are unlimited, and whose name is ‘Death’.”

      “Whose name is Davy Jones!” ejaculated Tarpaulin, helping the
      lady by his side to a skull of liqueur, and pouring out a second
      for himself. “Profane varlet!” said the president, now turning his attention
      to the worthy Hugh, “profane and execrable wretch!—we have said,
      that in consideration of those rights which, even in thy filthy
      person, we feel no inclination to violate, we have condescended
      to make reply to thy rude and unseasonable inquiries. We
      nevertheless, for your unhallowed intrusion upon our councils,
      believe it our duty to mulct thee and thy companion in each a
      gallon of Black Strap—having imbibed which to the prosperity of
      our kingdom—at a single draught—and upon your bended knees—ye
      shall be forthwith free either to proceed upon your way, or
      remain and be admitted to the privileges of our table, according
      to your respective and individual pleasures.”

      “It would be a matter of utter impossibility,” replied Legs, whom
      the assumptions and dignity of King Pest the First had evidently
      inspired some feelings of respect, and who arose and steadied
      himself by the table as he spoke—“it would, please your majesty,
      be a matter of utter impossibility to stow away in my hold even
      one-fourth part of the same liquor which your majesty has just
      mentioned. To say nothing of the stuffs placed on board in the
      forenoon by way of ballast, and not to mention the various ales
      and liqueurs shipped this evening at different sea-ports, I have,
      at present, a full cargo of ‘humming-stuff’ taken in and duly
      paid for at the sign of the ‘Jolly Tar.’ You will, therefore,
      please your majesty, be so good as to take the will for the
      deed—for by no manner of means either can I or will I swallow
      another drop—least of all a drop of that villainous bilge-water
      that answers to the name of ‘Black Strap.’”

      “Belay that!” interrupted Tarpaulin, astonished not more at the
      length of his companion’s speech than at the nature of his
      refusal—“Belay that you lubber!—and I say, Legs, none of your
      palaver! _My_ hull is still light, although I confess you
      yourself seem to be a little top-heavy; and as for the matter of
      your share of the cargo, why rather than raise a squall I would
      find stowage-room for it myself, but—”

      “This proceeding,” interposed the president, “is by no means in
      accordance with the terms of the mulct or sentence, which is in
      its nature Median, and not to be altered or recalled. The
      conditions we have imposed must be fulfilled to the letter, and
      that without a moment’s hesitation—in failure of which fulfilment
      we decree that you do here be tied neck and heels together, and
      duly drowned as rebels in yon hogshead of October beer!”

      “A sentence!—a sentence!—a righteous and just sentence!—a
      glorious decree!—a most worthy and upright, and holy
      condemnation!” shouted the Pest family altogether.