“You may easily
believe,” said he, “how great was the difficulty to persuade my father
that it was not absolutely necessary for a merchant not to understand
any thing except book-keeping; and, indeed, I believe I left him
incredulous to the last, for his constant answer to my unwearied
entreaties was the same as that of the Dutch schoolmaster in the Vicar
of Wakefield: ‘I have ten thousand florins a year without Greek, I eat
heartily without Greek.’ But his affection for me at length overcame his
dislike of learning, and he has permitted me to undertake a voyage of
discovery to the land of knowledge.”

“It gives me the greatest delight to see you; but tell me how you left
my father, brothers, and Elizabeth.”

“Very well, and very happy, only a little uneasy that they hear from you
so seldom. By the bye, I mean to lecture you a little upon their account
myself.—But, my dear Frankenstein,” continued he, stopping short, and
gazing full in my face, “I did not before remark how very ill you
appear; so thin and pale; you look as if you had been watching for
several nights.”

“You have guessed right; I have lately been so deeply engaged in one
occupation, that I have not allowed myself sufficient rest, as you see:
but I hope, I sincerely hope, that all these employments are now at an
end, and that I am at length free.”

I trembled excessively; I could not endure to think of, and far less to
allude to the occurrences of the preceding night. I walked with a quick
pace, and we soon arrived at my college. I then reflected, and the
thought made me shiver, that the creature whom I had left in my
apartment might still be there, alive, and walking about. I dreaded to
behold this monster; but I feared still more that Henry should see him. Entreating him therefore to remain a few minutes at the bottom of the
stairs, I darted up towards my own room. My hand was already on the lock
of the door before I recollected myself. I then paused; and a cold
shivering came over me. I threw the door forcibly open, as children are
accustomed to do when they expect a spectre to stand in waiting for them
on the other side; but nothing appeared. I stepped fearfully in: the
apartment was empty; and my bedroom was also freed from its hideous
guest. I could hardly believe that so great a good-fortune could have
befallen me; but when I became assured that my enemy had indeed fled, I
clapped my hands for joy, and ran down to Clerval. We ascended into my room, and the servant presently brought breakfast;
but I was unable to contain myself. It was not joy only that possessed
me; I felt my flesh tingle with excess of sensitiveness, and my pulse
beat rapidly. I was unable to remain for a single instant in the same
place; I jumped over the chairs, clapped my hands, and laughed aloud. Clerval at first attributed my unusual spirits to joy on his arrival;
but when he observed me more attentively, he saw a wildness in my eyes
for which he could not account; and my loud, unrestrained, heartless
laughter, frightened and astonished him. “My dear Victor,” cried he, “what, for God’s sake, is the matter? Do not
laugh in that manner. How ill you are! What is the cause of all this?”

“Do not ask me,” cried I, putting my hands before my eyes, for I thought
I saw the dreaded spectre glide into the room; “_he_ can tell.—Oh, save
me! save me!” I imagined that the monster seized me; I struggled
furiously, and fell down in a fit. Poor Clerval! what must have been his feelings? A meeting, which he
anticipated with such joy, so strangely turned to bitterness. But I was
not the witness of his grief; for I was lifeless, and did not recover my
senses for a long, long time. This was the commencement of a nervous fever, which confined me for
several months. During all that time Henry was my only nurse. I
afterwards learned that, knowing my father’s advanced age, and unfitness
for so long a journey, and how wretched my sickness would make
Elizabeth, he spared them this grief by concealing the extent of my
disorder. He knew that I could not have a more kind and attentive nurse
than himself; and, firm in the hope he felt of my recovery, he did not
doubt that, instead of doing harm, he performed the kindest action that
he could towards them. But I was in reality very ill; and surely nothing but the unbounded and
unremitting attentions of my friend could have restored me to life. The
form of the monster on whom I had bestowed existence was for ever before
my eyes, and I raved incessantly concerning him. Doubtless my words
surprised Henry: he at first believed them to be the wanderings of my
disturbed imagination; but the pertinacity with which I continually
recurred to the same subject persuaded him that my disorder indeed owed
its origin to some uncommon and terrible event. By very slow degrees, and with frequent relapses, that alarmed and
grieved my friend, I recovered. I remember the first time I became
capable of observing outward objects with any kind of pleasure, I
perceived that the fallen leaves had disappeared, and that the young
buds were shooting forth from the trees that shaded my window. It was a
divine spring; and the season contributed greatly to my convalescence. I
felt also sentiments of joy and affection revive in my bosom; my gloom
disappeared, and in a short time I became as cheerful as before I was
attacked by the fatal passion. “Dearest Clerval,” exclaimed I, “how kind, how very good you are to me. This whole winter, instead of being spent in study, as you promised
yourself, has been consumed in my sick room. How shall I ever repay
you? I feel the greatest remorse for the disappointment of which I have
been the occasion; but you will forgive me.”

“You will repay me entirely, if you do not discompose yourself, but get
well as fast as you can; and since you appear in such good spirits, I
may speak to you on one subject, may I not?”

I trembled. One subject! what could it be? Could he allude to an object
on whom I dared not even think? “Compose yourself,” said Clerval, who observed my change of colour, “I
will not mention it, if it agitates you; but your father and cousin
would be very happy if they received a letter from you in your own
hand-writing. They hardly know how ill you have been, and are uneasy at
your long silence.”

“Is that all? my dear Henry. How could you suppose that my first thought
would not fly towards those dear, dear friends whom I love, and who are
so deserving of my love.”

“If this is your present temper, my friend, you will perhaps be glad to
see a letter that has been lying here some days for you: it is from your
cousin, I believe.”




CHAPTER V.


Clerval then put the following letter into my hands. *       *       *       *       *

“_To_ V. FRANKENSTEIN. “MY DEAR COUSIN,

“I cannot describe to you the uneasiness we have all felt concerning
your health.