I want to stand there if I can, with warning in one hand and
help in the other. Oh! Auntie, Auntie, can't you see that my heart is in
this . . . These are our people; Daddy says they are to be my people; and
I want to know their lives right through; to understand their wants, and
their temptations, and their weakness. Bad and good, whatever it be, I
must know it all; or I shall be working in the dark, and may injure or
crush where I had looked to help and raise.' As she spoke she looked glorified. The afternoon autumn sun shone full
through the great window and lighted her up till she looked like a
spirit. Lighted her white diaphanous dress till it seemed to take shape
as an ethereal robe; lighted her red hair till it looked like a celestial
crown; lighted her great dark eyes till their black beauty became swept
in the tide of glory. The heart of the old woman who loved her best heaved, and her bosom
swelled with pride. Instinctively she spoke:

'Oh, you noble, beautiful creature! Of course you are right, and your
way is God's way!' With tears that rained down her furrowed cheeks, she
put her arms round the girl and kissed her fondly. Still holding her in
her arms she gave her the gentle counsel which was the aftermath of her
moment of inspiration. 'But Stephen dear, do be careful! Knowledge is a two-edged sword, and it
is apt to side with pride. Remember what was the last temptation of the
serpent to Eve: "Your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods,
knowing good and evil."' 'I shall be very careful,' she said gravely; and then added as if by an
afterthought, 'of course you understand that my motive is the acquisition
of knowledge?' 'Yes?' the answer was given interrogatively. 'Don't you think, dear, that Eve's object was not so much the acquisition
of knowledge as the gratification of curiosity.' 'That may be,' said the elder lady in a doubtful tone; 'but my dear, who
is to enlighten us as to which is which? We are apt in such matters to
deceive ourselves. The more we know, the better are we able to deceive
others; and the better we are able to deceive others the better we are
able to deceive ourselves. As I tell you, dear, knowledge is two-edged
and needs extra carefulness in its use!' 'True!' said Stephen reflectively. Long after her aunt had gone she sat
thinking. * * * * *

Once again did Miss Rowly try to restrain Stephen from a project. This
was when a little later she wished to go for a few days to the University
Mission House in the East end of London. Ever since her visit to Oxford
she had kept up a correspondence with her mother's old friend. It was
this lady's habit to spend a part of vacation in the Mission; and Stephen
had had much correspondence with her regarding the work. At last she
wrote that if she might, she would like to come and see for herself. The
answer was a cordial invitation, armed with which she asked her father to
allow her to go. He at once assented. He had been watching keenly the
development of her character, and had seen with pride and satisfaction
that as time went on she seemed to acquire greater resolution, larger
self-dependence. She was becoming more and more of his ideal. Without
losing any of her womanhood, she was beginning to look at things more
from a man's point of view than is usually done by, or possible to,
women. When she returned at the end of a week she was full of new gravity. After
a while this so far changed that her old lighter moods began to have
their place, but it seemed that she never lost, and that she never would
lose, the effect of that week of bitter experience amongst the 'submerged
tenth.' The effect of the mental working was shown by a remark made by Harold
when home on his next college vacation. He had been entering with her on
a discussion of an episode on the estate:

'Stephen, you are learning to be just!' At the moment she was chagrined by the remark, though she accepted it in
silence; but later, when she had thought the matter over, she took from
it infinite pleasure. This was indeed to share man's ideas and to think
with the workings of man's mind. It encouraged her to further and larger
ideas, and to a greater toleration than she had hitherto dreamed of. Of all those who loved her, none seemed to understand so fully as
Laetitia Rowly the change in her mental attitude, or rather the
development of it. Now and again she tried to deflect or modify certain
coming forces, so that the educational process in which she had always
had a part would continue in the right direction. But she generally
found that the girl had been over the ground so thoroughly that she was
able to defend her position. Once, when she had ventured to remonstrate
with her regarding her attitude of woman's equality with man, she felt as
if Stephen's barque was indeed entering on dangerous seas. The occasion
had arisen thus: Stephen had been what her aunt had stigmatised as
'laying down the law' with regard to the position a married woman, and
Miss Rowly, seeing a good argumentative opening, remarked:

'But what if a woman does not get the opportunity of being married?' Stephen looked at her a moment before saying with conviction:

'It is a woman's fault if she does not get the opportunity!' The old
lady smiled as she answered:

'Her fault? My dear, what if no man asks her?' This seemed to her own
mind a poser. 'Still her own fault! Why doesn't she ask him?' Her aunt's lorgnon was
dropped in horrified amazement. Stephen went on impassively. 'Certainly! Why shouldn't she? Marriage is a union. As it is in the
eye of the law a civil contract, either party to it should be at liberty
to originate the matter. If a woman is not free to think of a man in all
ways, how is she to judge of the suitability of their union? And if she
is free in theory, why not free to undertake if necessary the initiative
in a matter so momentous to herself?' The old lady actually groaned and
wrung her hands; she was horrified at such sentiments. They were daring
enough to think; but to put them in words! . . . 'Oh, my dear, my dear!' she moaned, 'be careful what you say. Some one
might hear you who would not understand, as I do, that you are talking
theory.' Stephen's habit of thought stood to her here. She saw that her
aunt was distressed, and as she did not wish to pain her unduly, was
willing to divert the immediate channel of her fear. She took the hand
which lay in her lap and held it firmly whilst she smiled in the loving
old eyes. 'Of course, Auntie dear, it is theory. But still it is a theory which I
hold very strongly!' . . . Here a thought struck her and she said
suddenly:

'Did you ever . . . How many proposals did you have, Auntie?' The old
lady smiled; her thoughts were already diverted. 'Several, my dear! It is so long ago that I don't remember!' 'Oh yes, you do, Auntie! No woman ever forgets that, no matter what else
she may or may not remember! Tell me, won't you?'