He may, otherwise, entertain pretensions and form
views erroneous in themselves and injurious to you. He may think himself
entitled to manage your estate. He may either suppose a will to have
been made, or may actually have heard from your father, or from others,
of that which you burnt, and in which he was named executor. His
boisterous and sordid temper may prompt him to seize your house and
goods, unless seasonably apprized of the truth; and, when he knows the
truth, he may start into rage, which I shall be more fitted to encounter
than you. I am told that anger transforms him into a ferocious madman. Shall I call upon him?" She shuddered at the picture which I had drawn of her uncle's character;
but this emotion quickly gave place to self-upbraiding for the manner in
which she had repelled my proffers of service. She melted once more into
tears, and exclaimed,--

"I am not worthy of the pains you take for me. I am unfeeling and
ungrateful. Why should I think ill of you for despising me, when I
despise myself?" "You do yourself injustice, my friend. I think I see your most secret
thoughts; and these, instead of exciting anger or contempt, only awaken
compassion and tenderness. You love; and must, therefore, conceive my
conduct to be perverse and cruel. I counted on your harbouring such
thoughts. Time only and reflection will enable you to see my motives in
their true light. Hereafter you will recollect my words, and find them
sufficient to justify my conduct. You will acknowledge the propriety of
my engaging in the cares of the world before I sit down in retirement
and ease." "Ah! how much you mistake me! I admire and approve of your schemes. What
angers and distresses me is, that you think me unworthy to partake of
your cares and labours; that you regard my company as an obstacle and
encumbrance; that assistance and counsel must all proceed from you; and
that no scene is fit for me, but what you regard as slothful and
inglorious. "Have I not the same claims to be wise, and active, and courageous, as
you? If I am ignorant and weak, do I not owe it to the same cause that
has made you so? and will not the same means which promote your
improvement be likewise useful to me? You desire to obtain knowledge, by
travelling and conversing with many persons, and studying many sciences;
but you desire it for yourself alone. Me you think poor, weak, and
contemptible; fit for nothing but to spin and churn. Provided I exist,
am screened from the weather, have enough to eat and drink, you are
satisfied. As to strengthening my mind and enlarging my knowledge, these
things are valuable to you, but on me they are thrown away. I deserve
not the gift." This strain, simple and just as it was, was wholly unexpected. I was
surprised and disconcerted. In my previous reasonings I had certainly
considered her sex as utterly unfitting her for those scenes and
pursuits to which I had destined myself. Not a doubt of the validity of
my conclusion had insinuated itself; but now my belief was shaken,
though it was not subverted. I could not deny that human ignorance was
curable by the same means in one sex as in the other; that fortitude
and skill were of no less value to one than to the other. Questionless, my friend was rendered, by her age and inexperience, if
not by sex, more helpless and dependent than I; but had I not been prone
to overrate the difficulties which I should encounter? Had I not deemed
unjustly of her constancy and force of mind? Marriage would render her
property joint, and would not compel me to take up my abode in the
woods, to abide forever in one spot, to shackle my curiosity, or limit
my excursions. But marriage was a contract awful and irrevocable. Was this the woman
with whom my reason enjoined me to blend my fate, without the power of
dissolution? Would not time unfold qualities in her which I did not at
present suspect, and which would evince an incurable difference in our
minds? Would not time lead me to the feet of one who more nearly
approached that standard of ideal excellence which poets and romancers
had exhibited to my view? These considerations were powerful and delicate. I knew not in what
terms to state them to my companion, so as to preclude the imputation of
arrogance or indecorum. It became me, however, to be explicit, and to
excite her resentment rather than mislead her judgment. She collected my
meaning from a few words, and, interrupting me, said,--

"How very low is the poor Eliza in your opinion! We are, indeed, both
too young to be married. May I not see you, and talk with you, without
being your wife? May I not share your knowledge, relieve your cares, and
enjoy your confidence, as a sister might do? May I not accompany you in
your journeys and studies, as one friend accompanies another? My
property may be yours; you may employ it for your benefit and mine; not
because you are my husband, but my friend. You are going to the city. Let me go along with you. Let me live where you live. The house that is
large enough to hold you will hold me. The fare that is good enough for
you will be luxury to me. Oh! let it be so, will you? "You cannot think how studious, how thoughtful, how inquisitive, I will
be. How tenderly I will nurse you when sick! it is possible you may be
sick, you know, and, no one in the world will be half so watchful and
affectionate as I shall be. Will you let me?" In saying this, her earnestness gave new pathos to her voice. Insensibly
she put her face close to mine, and, transported beyond the usual bounds
of reserve by the charms of that picture which her fancy contemplated,
she put her lips to my cheek, and repeated, in a melting accent, "Will
you let me?" You, my friends, who have not seen Eliza Hadwin, cannot conceive what
effect this entreaty was adapted to produce in me. She has surely the
sweetest voice, the most speaking features, and most delicate symmetry,
that ever woman possessed. Her guileless simplicity and tenderness made
her more enchanting. To be the object of devotion to a heart so fervent
and pure was, surely, no common privilege. Thus did she tender me
herself; and was not the gift to be received with eagerness and
gratitude? No. I was not so much a stranger to mankind as to acquiesce in this
scheme. As my sister or my wife, the world would suffer us to reside
under the same roof; to apply to common use the same property; and daily
to enjoy the company of each other; but she was not my sister, and
marriage would be an act of the grossest indiscretion. I explained to
her, in few words, the objections to which her project was liable. "Well, then," said she, "let me live in the next house, in the
neighbourhood, or, at least, in the same city. Let me be where I may see
you once a day, or once a week, or once a month. Shut me not wholly from
your society, and the means of becoming, in time, less ignorant and
foolish than I now am." After a pause, I replied, "I love you too well not to comply with this
request.