The dwelling was spacious
and neat, and a venerable man and woman, alarmed by the quick return of
the young people, came forth to know the cause. They received their
guest with the utmost tenderness, and provided her with all the
accommodations which her condition required. Their daughter relinquished
the scheme of pleasure in which she had been engaged, and, compelling
her companions to depart without her, remained to nurse and console the
sick. A little time showed that no lasting injury had been suffered. Contusions, more troublesome than dangerous, and easily curable by such
applications as rural and traditional wisdom has discovered, were the
only consequences of the fall. My mind, being relieved from
apprehensions on this score, had leisure to reflect upon the use which
might be made of the present state of things. When I remarked the structure of this house, and the features and
deportment of its inhabitants, methought I discerned a powerful
resemblance between this family and Hadwin's. It seemed as if some
benignant power had led us hither as to the most suitable asylum that
could be obtained; and, in order to supply to the forlorn Eliza the
place of those parents and that sister she had lost, I conceived that,
if their concurrence could be gained, no abode was more suitable than
this. No time was to be lost in gaining this concurrence. The curiosity
of our host and hostess, whose name was Curling, speedily afforded me an
opportunity to disclose the history and real situation of my friend. There were no motives to reserve or prevarication. There was nothing
which I did not faithfully and circumstantially relate. I concluded with
stating my wishes that they would admit my friend as a boarder into
their house. The old man was warm in his concurrence. His wife betrayed some
scruples; which, however, her husband's arguments and mine removed. I
did not even suppress the tenor and destruction of the will, and the
antipathy which Eliza had conceived for her uncle, and which I declared
myself unable to explain. It presently appeared that Mr. Curling had
some knowledge of Philip Hadwin, and that the latter had acquired the
repute of being obdurate and profligate. He employed all means to
accomplish his selfish ends, and would probably endeavour to usurp the
property which his brother had left. To provide against his power and
his malice would be particularly incumbent on us, and my new friend
readily promised his assistance in the measures which we should take to
that end. CHAPTER XXXII. The state of my feelings may be easily conceived to consist of mixed,
but, on the whole, of agreeable, sensations. The death of Hadwin and his
elder daughter could not be thought upon without keen regrets. These it
was useless to indulge, and were outweighed by reflections on the
personal security in which the survivor was now placed. It was hurtful
to expend my unprofitable cares upon the dead, while there existed one
to whom they could be of essential benefit, and in whose happiness they
would find an ample compensation. This happiness, however, was still incomplete. It was still exposed to
hazard, and much remained to be done before adequate provision was made
against the worst of evils, poverty. I now found that Eliza, being only
fifteen years old, stood in need of a guardian, and that the forms of
law required that some one should make himself her father's
administrator. Mr. Curling, being tolerably conversant with these
subjects, pointed out the mode to be pursued, and engaged to act on this
occasion as Eliza's friend. There was another topic on which my happiness, as well as that of my
friend, required us to form some decision. I formerly mentioned, that,
during my abode at Malverton, I had not been insensible to the
attractions of this girl. An affection had stolen upon me, for which it
was easily discovered that I should not have been denied a suitable
return. My reasons for stifling these emotions, at that time, have been
mentioned. It may now be asked, what effect subsequent events had
produced on my feelings, and how far partaking and relieving her
distresses had revived a passion which may readily be supposed to have
been, at no time, entirely extinguished. The impediments which then existed were removed. Our union would no
longer risk the resentment or sorrow of her excellent parent. She had no
longer a sister to divide with her the property of the farm, and make
what was sufficient for both, when living together, too little for
either separately. Her youth and simplicity required, beyond most
others, a legal protector, and her happiness was involved in the success
of those hopes which she took no pains to conceal. As to me, it seemed at first view as if every incident conspired to
determine my choice. Omitting all regard to the happiness of others, my
own interest could not fail to recommend a scheme by which the precious
benefits of competence and independence might be honestly obtained. The
excursions of my fancy had sometimes carried me beyond the bounds
prescribed by my situation, but they were, nevertheless, limited to that
field to which I had once some prospect of acquiring a title. All I
wanted for the basis of my gaudiest and most dazzling structures was a
hundred acres of plough-land and meadow. Here my spirit of improvement,
my zeal to invent and apply new maxims of household luxury and
convenience, new modes and instruments of tillage, new arts connected
with orchard, garden, and cornfield, were supplied with abundant scope. Though the want of these would not benumb my activity, or take away
content, the possession would confer exquisite and permanent enjoyments. My thoughts have ever hovered over the images of wife and children with
more delight than over any other images. My fancy was always active on
this theme, and its reveries sufficiently ecstatic and glowing; but,
since my intercourse with this girl, my scattered visions were collected
and concentrated. I had now a form and features before me; a sweet and
melodious voice vibrated in my ear; my soul was filled, as it were, with
her lineaments and gestures, actions and looks. All ideas, possessing
any relation to beauty or sex, appeared to assume this shape. They kept
an immovable place in my mind, they diffused around them an ineffable
complacency. Love is merely of value as a prelude to a more tender,
intimate, and sacred union. Was I not in love? and did I not pant after
the irrevocable bounds, the boundless privileges, of wedlock? The question which others might ask, I have asked myself:--Was I not in
love? I am really at a loss for an answer. There seemed to be
irresistible weight in the reasons why I should refuse to marry, and
even forbear to foster love in my friend. I considered my youth, my
defective education, and my limited views. I had passed from my cottage
into the world.