Without a doubt, Lady Minkhurst got her heart's desire when her
husband abruptly cut his throat, but alas, amongst those decimated,
when the charm fell into the hands of one of the footmen, was her
ladyship's lover. Again, Mrs. Jacques, the beauty, who, at one time, wrote for half the
fashion papers in England, certainly secured the demise of Colonel
Dick Jacques, who tumbled downstairs and broke his neck, but as in his
fall the Colonel alighted on one of the maids, who was not insured,
and so seriously injured her that she was pronounced a hopeless
cripple, Mrs. Jacques--with whom money was an object--had, of course,
to maintain her for the rest of her life. Likewise, Sir Charles Brimpton, in jumping out of the top window of
his house, besides pulverizing himself, pulverized, too, Lady
Brimpton's pet Pekingese "Waller," without whom, she declared, life
wasn't worth living; and Lord Snipping, in setting fire to himself,
set fire to Lady Snipping's boudoir (which he had been secretly
visiting), and thereby destroyed treasures which she tearfully
declared were quite priceless, and could never be replaced. Crowds of young married women were anxious to get rid of their rich
old relatives, who clung on to life with a tenacity that was "most
wearying." "Can you give me a spell that will make my grandmother go off
suddenly?" a girl with beautiful, sad eyes said plaintively to Kelson. "Don't think me very wicked, but we are not at all well off--and she
has lived such a long time--such a very long time." "You don't want her to be ill first, I suppose," Kelson inquired. "Oh, no!" the girl replied, "she lives with us and we could never
endure the worry and trouble of nursing her. It must be something very
sudden." "This will do it," Kelson said, giving her a locket containing the
mumia or essence of life of a mad dog; "fasten it round the old lady's
neck, and you will be astonished how soon it acts." "And what is your fee?" the girl asked, her eyes brimming over with
joyous anticipation. "For you--nothing," Kelson said gallantly. "Only tell no one. May I
kiss your hand." The firm's sale of spells for getting rid of husbands having risen one
day to five hundred--and the sale of their spells for putting old
people out of the way to fifteen hundred--even Hamar, who was no
believer in the perfection of human nature, was astonished. "My word!" he remarked. "Isn't this a revelation? Who would have
thought how many people have murder in their hearts? At least half
Society would, I believe, become homicides if only there were no
chance of their being found out and punished. Anyhow, if we go on at
this rate there will be no old people left." And it did indeed seem as if such would be the case. For the moment
the idea got abroad that old people could be thrust out of existence
with absolute safety and ease, there was a perfect mania amongst men,
women, and even children, to get rid of them, and the deaths of people
over sixty recorded in the papers multiplied every day. The following
is an extract from the _Planet_ of July 28--

    BOLT.--On July 27, at No. ---- Elgin Avenue, S.W., Emily Jane,
    loved and venerated mother of Mary Bolt, M.D., in her 69th year. Drowned in her bath. And all the Angels wept! CUSHMAN.--On July 27, at No. ---- Sheep Street, Northampton, Sarah
    Elizabeth, adored mother of Josiah Cushman, Plymouth Brother, in
    her 88th year. Run over by a taxi. Joy in Heaven! STARLING.--On July 27, at No. ---- Snargate Street, Dover, Susan,
    highly esteemed and greatly beloved mother of Alfred Starling,
    Wesleyan Minister, in her 71st year. Lost in the harbour. Asleep in
    Jesus. TRETICKLER.--On July 27, at No. ---- The Terrace, St. Ives,
    Cornwall, Elizabeth, adored grandmother of Tobias Tretickler,
    Congregationalist, in her 91st year. Fell over the Malatoff. "Oh,
    Paradise! Oh, Paradise!" BROOT.--On July 27, at Charlton House, Queen's Gate, S.W., Jane,
    greatly beloved mother of John Broot, Labour M.P., in her 83rd
    year. Fell down the area. Peace, blessed Peace. GUM.--On July 27, at No. ---- Church Road, Upper Norwood, Sophia,
    widow of the late Albert Gum, L.C.C., in her 85th year. Choked
    whilst eating tripe. Sadly missed! PAVEMAN.--On July 27, at No. ---- Queen's Road, Clifton, Bristol,
    Anne Rebecca, dearly beloved mother of Alfred Paveman, grocer, in
    her 74th year. Accidentally burned to death! At rest at last. But it must not be supposed from these few notices, selected from at
least a hundred, that the applicants for spells were by any means
confined to the upper and middle classes. By far the greater number of
spells were sold to the working people--to those of them who, prudent
and respectable, counted amongst their aged relatives, at least, one
or two who were insured. Nor was the sale of spells confined to adults; for among the numbers,
that flocked to consult the trio, were countless County Council
children. "Can you give me a spell to make teacher break her neck?" was the most
common request, though it was frequently varied with demands such as--

"I'll trouble you for a spell to pay mother out. She won't put more
than three lumps of sugar in my tea;"--or, "Mother has got very teazy
lately. I want a spell to make her fall downstairs"--or, "Father only
gives me twopence a week out of what I earn blacking boots; give me a
spell to make him have an accident whilst he's at work." And it was
not seldom that the trio were petitioned thus: "Please give us a spell
to make our parents die quickly. Teacher says at school 'perfect
freedom is the birthright of all Englishmen,' and we can't have
perfect freedom whilst our parents are alive. "[22]

The statistics of those who died from the effects of accidents for the
week ending August 1, of this year, in London alone, were--over sixty
years of age, five thousand; between the ages of twenty-five and
sixty, six thousand; and, for the latter deaths, children alone were
responsible. The greatest number of these accidents occurred in Poplar, West Ham,
Battersea, and Whitechapel; and at length the working class applicants
became so numerous that the Modern Sorcery Company could not cope with
them, and were forced to raise their charges. Among other customers, as one might expect, were many militant
Suffragettes; whom Hamar and Curtis palmed off on Kelson. "Give me a spell," demanded a hatchet-faced lady, wearing a
half-up-to-the-knee skirt, "one that will cause the roof of the House
of Commons to fall in and smash everybody--EVERYBODY. This is no time
for half-measures." Had she been pretty, it is just possible Kelson might have assented,
but he had no sympathy with the ugly--they set his teeth on edge--he
loathed them. "Certainly, madam, certainly," he said, "here is a spell that will
have the effect you desire," and he handed her a ring containing a
magnes microcosmi fully charged with the essence of life of an idiot. "Wear it," he said, "night and day. Never be without it."