"When you are as old as I am, young man,
you won't wonder at infirmities coming upon you." "Young man, do you call me? I am forty." "Ah, forty! When I was forty, and that was thirty years ago, I thought
myself quite a youth. Oh, dear me, but what with the gout, and the
lumbago, and two or three more little things, I am nearly done for now. Oh, dear me, life's a burthen." "What would you like to have, sir?" said a girl who waited upon the
parlour guests, and who came in for Todd's order. "Anything, my dear, you have in the house to eat, and some brandy to
drink, if you please." "Sit by the fire, sir," said one of the men; "you will be more
comfortable. We ought to make way for age." "Oh, dear no, I thank you. I must be somewhere where I can rest my poor
back at times, so I like this corner." It was a dark corner, and Todd
preferred it. "It will do very well for me, if you please. Oh, dear me;
don't disturb yourselves, gentlemen, on my account, I beg of you. I am
an old broken-down man, and have not long to live now in this world of
care and sorrow." CHAPTER CLV. TODD GETS THE BETTER OF THE SHARPERS, AND TAKES A BOAT. The girl brought Todd a plate of roast-beef, a loaf, and some brandy,
with which he regaled himself tolerably well; but he was uncomfortably
conscious that the two men were looking at him all the while. "Gentlemen," he said, "it's a very odd thing, but my appetite continues
good notwithstanding all my infirmities. I eat well, and I drink well,
and the doctors say that that is what keeps me alive." "I should not wonder," said one of the men drily. "Yes," said the other, with a laugh, "you are like us, old gentleman; we
live by victuals and drink." "Ah, I didn't mean that," said Todd; "you young people are so fond of
your jokes. Dear me, when I was young I used to be fond of my joke,
likewise, but now I am so old, that what with my winter cough, and the
gout, and all that sort of thing, my joking days are long since gone by. I lost my poor wife, too, a little while ago--bless her heart! Ah, me!" Todd had the greatest inclination in the world to make up one of his old
diabolical faces at this juncture; but he restrained himself, for he
felt the danger of doing so; and then affecting to wipe away a tear, he
added--

"But I find my consolation in religion. There's where, gentlemen, an old
man may look for comfort, and that strength of heart and soul, which in
this world is denied to him." "Very true, sir--very true." "Ah, gentlemen, it is true; and there's nothing in all the world like an
easy conscience. That's the sort of thing to make a man feel serene and
happy in this world, while he is preparing for the joys of the next." "How delightful it is, sir," said one of the men, "for us to meet with a
gentleman who has the same opinion as ourselves. Will you join us in a
glass, sir, if you please?" "Oh, yes--yes, with pleasure. What a shocking bad fire, they tell me,
has been in Fleet Street." "Yes, it's the notorious Todd's house." "In--deed!" The man who had proposed the social glass rang the bell, and ordered
three tumblers of brandy-and-water, and then he said--

"Ah, sir! if you or I could only lay hold of Sweeney Todd it would be
rather a good day's work." "Oh, dear, God forbid!" said Todd. "He would soon lay me low if I were
to try to lay hold of him, with, as I may say in a manner of speaking,
one foot in the grave. I am not, in the natural order of things, long
for this world, gentlemen, and it is not for me to lay hold of desperate
characters." "That's true, sir; but do you know the reward that is offered for him by
the Secretary of State?" "No! Is there really a reward for him?" "Yes, a thousand pounds clear to any one who will lodge him in any jail. A thousand pounds! Why, it makes a man's mouth water to think of it. One
might retire, Bill, mightn't one, and give up all sorts of--"

Bill gave his enthusiastic comrade rather a severe cautionary kick under
the table, and it seemed to have the effect of stopping the word
'thieving' from coming past his lips quite at unawares--at least that
was the way Todd translated it. He had not the smallest doubt but that
the public-house was a very indifferent one, and that the two men whom
he was in company with in it were two of the most arrant thieves in all
London. Todd resolved to act accordingly, and he did not let them see that he
had the least suspicion of them; but he kept such a wary eye upon their
movements, that nothing they did or looked escaped him. They little
supposed that so keen an observer watched them as Sweeney Todd was. The brandy-and-water that had been ordered soon made its appearance; and
Todd, while perpetrating a very well-acted fit of coughing, saw one of
the men just slightly wink at the other, and take a little way from his
waistcoat pocket a small bottle. "Oh!" thought Todd, "my brandy-and-water will be prepared, I see; and if
I do not look sharp, these fellows will rob me of all that I have run so
much risk, and took so much trouble to get out of the old house." After a moment's thought, he rose and said--

"I will only go and pay for what I have had at the bar, and you must
permit me likewise to pay for this." "Oh, no--no!" "Oh, yes, but I will--I will! I dare say that I have the most money,
after all, for I have been very careful in my time, and saved a trifle,
so you must permit me." The two thieves were so delighted at getting rid of him for a few
moments, that although they declared it was too bad, they let him go. The moment he was gone, one said to the other, with a grin--

"Bill, put a good dose into the old chap's glass. He has got a rare gold
watch in his pocket, and there's a ring on his finger, that if it isn't
a diamond, it's as near like one as ever I heard of. Give him a good
dose." "Well, but you know that even a few drops will settle him?" "Never mind that. It's all right enough; pour it in." They put enough of some deadly drug into the glass of brandy-and water
that stood next to where Todd had been sitting to kill a horse; and then
he returned and sat down with a groan, as he said--

"It's quite a funny thing! There's a man at the bar inquiring for
somebody; and he's got a red waistcoat on." "A red waistcoat!" cried both the the thieves, jumping up. "Did you say
a red waistcoat?" "Why, yes; and I think he is what they call a Bow Street thingamy--Lord
bless my old brain! what do they call them--"

"A runner?" "Ah, to be sure, a Bow Street runner, to be sure." Both the thieves bundled out of the parlour in a moment, and Todd was
not idle while they were gone. The first thing he did was to decant his
own brandy-and-water--which had been drugged--into an empty glass. Then
he filled his glass with the contents of one of the thieves' glasses. After that, he half filled that glass with the drugged spirit, and
filled it up from the other thief's glass, and that again he filled up
with the drugged spirit.