"Hold your ignorant tongue," said the admiral; "nobody wants you to make
a remark, you great lubber!" "Very good," said Jack, and he sat down the wine on the table, and then
retired to the other end of the room, remarking to himself that he was
not called a great lubber on a certain occasion, when bullets were
scuttling their nobs, and they were yard arm and yard arm with God knows
who. "Now, mister lawyer," said Admiral Bell, who had about him a large share
of the habits of a rough sailor. "Now, mister lawyer, here is a glass
first to our better acquaintance, for d----e, if I don't like you!" "You are very good, sir." "Not at all. There was a time, when I'd just as soon have thought of
asking a young shark to supper with me in my own cabin as a lawyer, but
I begin to see that there may be such a thing as a decent, good sort of
a fellow seen in the law; so here's good luck to you, and you shall
never want a friend or a bottle while Admiral Bell has a shot in the
locker." "Gammon," said Jack. "D--n you, what do you mean by that?" roared the admiral, in a furious
tone. "I wasn't speaking to you," shouted Jack, about two octaves higher. "It's two boys in the street as is pretending they're a going to fight,
and I know d----d well they won't." "Hold your noise." "I'm going. I wasn't told to hold my noise, when our nobs were being
scuttled off Beyrout." "Never mind him, mister lawyer," added the admiral. "He don't know what
he's talking about. Never mind him. You go on and tell me all you know
about the--the--"

"The vampyre!" "Ah! I always forget the names of strange fish. I suppose, after all,
it's something of the mermaid order?" "That I cannot say, sir; but certainly the story, in all its painful
particulars, has made a great sensation all over the country." "Indeed!" "Yes, sir. You shall hear how it occurred. It appears that one night
Miss Flora Bannersworth, a young lady of great beauty, and respected and
admired by all who knew her was visited by a strange being who came in
at the window." "My eye," said Jack, "it waren't me, I wish it had a been." "So petrified by fear was she, that she had only time to creep half out
of the bed, and to utter one cry of alarm, when the strange visitor
seized her in his grasp." "D--n my pig tail," said Jack, "what a squall there must have been, to
be sure." "Do you see this bottle?" roared the admiral. "To be sure, I does; I think as it's time I seed another." "You scoundrel, I'll make you feel it against that d----d stupid head of
yours, if you interrupt this gentleman again." "Don't be violent." "Well, as I was saying," continued the attorney, "she did, by great good
fortune, manage to scream, which had the effect of alarming the whole
house. The door of her chamber, which was fast, was broken open." "Yes, yes--"

"Ah," cried Jack. "You may imagine the horror and the consternation of those who entered
the room to find her in the grasp of a fiend-like figure, whose teeth
were fastened on her neck, and who was actually draining her veins of
blood." "The devil!" "Before any one could lay hands sufficiently upon the figure to detain
it, it had fled precipitately from its dreadful repast. Shots were fired
after it in vain." "And they let it go?" "They followed it, I understand, as well as they were able, and saw it
scale the garden wall of the premises; there it escaped, leaving, as you
may well imagine, on all their minds, a sensation of horror difficult to
describe." "Well, I never did hear anything the equal of that. Jack, what do you
think of it?" "I haven't begun to think, yet," said Jack. "But what about my nephew, Charles?" added the admiral. "Of him I know nothing." "Nothing?" "Not a word, admiral. I was not aware you had a nephew, or that any
gentleman bearing that, or any other relationship to you, had any sort
of connexion with these mysterious and most unaccountable circumstances. I tell you all I have gathered from common report about this vampyre
business. Further I know not, I assure you." "Well, a man can't tell what he don't know. It puzzles me to think who
could possibly have written me this letter." "That I am completely at a loss to imagine," said Crinkles. "I assure
you, my gallant sir, that I am much hurt at the circumstance of any one
using my name in such a way. But, nevertheless, as you are here, permit
me to say, that it will be my pride, my pleasure, and the boast of the
remainder of my existence, to be of some service to so gallant a
defender of my country, and one whose name, along with the memory of his
deeds, is engraved upon the heart of every Briton." "Quite ekal to a book, he talks," said Jack. "I never could read one
myself, on account o' not knowing how, but I've heard 'em read, and
that's just the sort o' incomprehensible gammon." "We don't want any of your ignorant remarks," said the admiral, "so you
be quiet." "Ay, ay, sir." "Now, Mister Lawyer, you are an honest fellow, and an honest fellow is
generally a sensible fellow." "Sir, I thank you." "If so be as what this letter says is true, my nephew Charles has got a
liking for this girl, who has had her neck bitten by a vampyre, you
see." "I perceive, sir." "Now what would you do?" "One of the most difficult, as well, perhaps, as one of the most
ungracious of tasks," said the attorney, "is to interfere with family
affairs. The cold and steady eye of reason generally sees things in such
very different lights to what they appear to those whose feelings and
whose affections are much compromised in their results." "Very true. Go on." "Taking, my dear sir, what in my humble judgment appears to be a
reasonable view of this subject, I should say it would be a dreadful
thing for your nephew to marry into a family any member of which was
liable to the visitations of a vampyre." "It wouldn't be pleasant." "The young lady might have children." "Oh, lots," cried Jack. "Hold your noise, Jack." "Ay, ay, sir." "And she might herself actually, when after death she became a vampyre,
come and feed on her own children." "Become a vampyre! What, is she going to be a vampyre too?" "My dear sir, don't you know that it is a remarkable fact, as regards
the physiology of vampyres, that whoever is bitten by one of those
dreadful beings, becomes a vampyre?" "The devil!" "It is a fact, sir." "Whew!" whistled Jack; "she might bite us all, and we should be a whole
ship's crew o' _wamphighers_. There would be a confounded go!" "It's not pleasant," said the admiral, as he rose from his chair, and
paced to and fro in the room, "it's not pleasant. Hang me up at my own
yard-arm if it is." "Who said it was?" cried Jack. "Who asked you, you brute?" "Well, sir," added Mr. Crinkles, "I have given you all the information I
can; and I can only repeat what I before had the honour of saying more
at large, namely, that I am your humble servant to command, and that I
shall be happy to attend upon you at any time." "Thank ye--thank ye, Mr.--a--a--"

"Crinkles." "Ah, Crinkles.