Lilla, of
course, felt lonely in the absence of her cousin, but the even tenor of
life went on for her as for others. After the first shock of parting was
over, things went back to their accustomed routine. In one respect,
however, there was a marked difference. So long as home conditions had
remained unchanged, Lilla was content to put ambition far from her, and
to settle down to the life which had been hers as long as she could
remember. But Mimi's marriage set her thinking; naturally, she came to
the conclusion that she too might have a mate. There was not for her
much choice--there was little movement in the matrimonial direction at
the farmhouse. She did not approve of the personality of Edgar Caswall,
and his struggle with Mimi had frightened her; but he was unmistakably an
excellent _parti_, much better than she could have any right to expect. This weighs much with a woman, and more particularly one of her class. So, on the whole, she was content to let things take their course, and to
abide by the issue. As time went on, she had reason to believe that things did not point to
happiness. She could not shut her eyes to certain disturbing facts,
amongst which were the existence of Lady Arabella and her growing
intimacy with Edgar Caswall; as well as his own cold and haughty nature,
so little in accord with the ardour which is the foundation of a young
maid's dreams of happiness. How things would, of necessity, alter if she
were to marry, she was afraid to think. All told, the prospect was not
happy for her, and she had a secret longing that something might occur to
upset the order of things as at present arranged. When Lilla received a note from Edgar Caswall asking if he might come to
tea on the following afternoon, her heart sank within her. If it was
only for her father's sake, she must not refuse him or show any
disinclination which he might construe into incivility. She missed Mimi
more than she could say or even dared to think. Hitherto, she had always
looked to her cousin for sympathy, for understanding, for loyal support. Now she and all these things, and a thousand others--gentle, assuring,
supporting--were gone. And instead there was a horrible aching void. For the whole afternoon and evening, and for the following forenoon, poor
Lilla's loneliness grew to be a positive agony. For the first time she
began to realise the sense of her loss, as though all the previous
suffering had been merely a preparation. Everything she looked at,
everything she remembered or thought of, became laden with poignant
memory. Then on the top of all was a new sense of dread. The reaction
from the sense of security, which had surrounded her all her life, to a
never-quieted apprehension, was at times almost more than she could bear. It so filled her with fear that she had a haunting feeling that she would
as soon die as live. However, whatever might be her own feelings, duty
had to be done, and as she had been brought up to consider duty first,
she braced herself to go through, to the very best of her ability, what
was before her. Still, the severe and prolonged struggle for self-control told upon
Lilla. She looked, as she felt, ill and weak. She was really in a
nerveless and prostrate condition, with black circles round her eyes,
pale even to her lips, and with an instinctive trembling which she was
quite unable to repress. It was for her a sad mischance that Mimi was
away, for her love would have seen through all obscuring causes, and have
brought to light the girl's unhappy condition of health. Lilla was
utterly unable to do anything to escape from the ordeal before her; but
her cousin, with the experience of her former struggles with Mr. Caswall
and of the condition in which these left her, would have taken steps--even
peremptory ones, if necessary--to prevent a repetition. Edgar arrived punctually to the time appointed by herself. When Lilla,
through the great window, saw him approaching the house, her condition of
nervous upset was pitiable. She braced herself up, however, and managed
to get through the interview in its preliminary stages without any
perceptible change in her normal appearance and bearing. It had been to
her an added terror that the black shadow of Oolanga, whom she dreaded,
would follow hard on his master. A load was lifted from her mind when he
did not make his usual stealthy approach. She had also feared, though in
lesser degree, lest Lady Arabella should be present to make trouble for
her as before. With a woman's natural forethought in a difficult position, she had
provided the furnishing of the tea-table as a subtle indication of the
social difference between her and her guest. She had chosen the
implements of service, as well as all the provender set forth, of the
humblest kind. Instead of arranging the silver teapot and china cups,
she had set out an earthen teapot, such as was in common use in the farm
kitchen. The same idea was carried out in the cups and saucers of thick
homely delft, and in the cream-jug of similar kind. The bread was of
simple whole-meal, home-baked. The butter was good, since she had made
it herself, while the preserves and honey came from her own garden. Her
face beamed with satisfaction when the guest eyed the appointments with a
supercilious glance. It was a shock to the poor girl herself, for she
enjoyed offering to a guest the little hospitalities possible to her; but
that had to be sacrificed with other pleasures. Caswall's face was more set and iron-clad than ever--his piercing eyes
seemed from the very beginning to look her through and through. Her
heart quailed when she thought of what would follow--of what would be the
end, when this was only the beginning. As some protection, though it
could be only of a sentimental kind, she brought from her own room the
photographs of Mimi, of her grandfather, and of Adam Salton, whom by now
she had grown to look on with reliance, as a brother whom she could
trust. She kept the pictures near her heart, to which her hand naturally
strayed when her feelings of constraint, distrust, or fear became so
poignant as to interfere with the calm which she felt was necessary to
help her through her ordeal. At first Edgar Caswall was courteous and polite, even thoughtful; but
after a little while, when he found her resistance to his domination
grow, he abandoned all forms of self-control and appeared in the same
dominance as he had previously shown. She was prepared, however, for
this, both by her former experience and the natural fighting instinct
within her. By this means, as the minutes went on, both developed the
power and preserved the equality in which they had begun. Without warning, the psychic battle between the two individualities began
afresh. This time both the positive and negative causes were all in
favour of the man.