And I came to the Master Monstruwacan, and told all to him; and how that
I did mean no more to suffer in quiet and to no end; but to make
adventure into the Night Land, that I find Naani, or perchance find a
swift peace from this my long troubling. Now, when the Master Monstruwacan heard that which I had to say, it sat
heavily upon him, and he besought me long and many times that I refrain
from this thing; for that none might achieve so great a task; but that I
should be lost in my Youth before many days were gone by. Yet to all his
speech I said naught, save that this thing was laid upon me, and even as
I had promised, so should I make to act. And in the ending, the Master Monstruwacan perceived that I was set to
this thing, and not to be moved; and he did put it to me how that I had
grown to leanness, with so much troubling, and that I should have wisdom
to wait awhile, that I put on my full strength. But even as I was, so would I go; and this I told to him, gently; and
showed how that the thing was meet and helpful to the safety of my soul;
for that my strength was still in me; yet was I sweeter in spirit
because that I stood lean and pure, and much poor dross and littleness
had been burned from me; so that fear was not in me. And all do I lay to
the count of my love, which doth purify and make sweet and fearless the
human heart. And because I was even as I have said, so was I the less in trouble of
the Forces of Evil; for long and sore had been my Preparation of Spirit;
and I wot that none had ever gone forth into the Darkness, so long
withholden from that which doth weaken and taint the spirit. And here let me set down how that the Three Days of Preparation, which
were Proper to those that willed to go forth into the Night Land, had
for their chief aim the cleansing of the spirit; so that the Powers of
Evil did have a less ableness to harm. But also it was, as I have said, that none should go forth in ignorance
of the full dreadfulness of all that held the Night; for it was at the
Preparation that there was made known certain horrors that were not told
unto the young; and of horrid mutilations, and of abasements of the
soul, that did shake the heart with fear, if but they were whispered
into the hearing. And these things were not set down in any book that
might be lightly come by; but were warded and safe locked by the Master
of The Preparation, in the Room of Preparation. And, indeed, when I did hear that which presently I was to hear, I had
wonder in my heart that ever any went out into the Night Land; or that
ever the Room of Preparation should have other than Students that meant
not to go forth, but only to achieve some knowledge of that which hath
been done, and mayhaps shall be once again. Yet, in verity, is this but the way of the human heart; and hath always
been, and will be so in all the years, for ever. For to adventure is the
lust of Youth; and to leave Safety is the natural waywardness of the
spirit; and who shall reprove or regret; for it were sorrowful that this
Spirit of Man should cease. Yet must it not be thought that I do uphold
fightings to the death or to mutilation, _between man and man_; but
rather do sorrow upon this thought. Now, when the morrow came, if thus I shall speak of that which was
outwardly even as the night, though changing alway within the Mighty
Pyramid, I went unto the Room of Preparation; and the Door was closed
upon me; and I underwent the Full Preparation; that I might have full
power and aid to come to success through all the terror of the Night
Land. And three days and three nights did I abide within the Room of
Preparation; and upon the fourth day was mine armour brought unto me;
and the Master of the Preparation stood away from me, silent and with
sorrow upon his face; but touching me not, neither coming anigh to aid
me; nor having any speech with me; for none might crowd upon me, or
cause me to answer. And, presently, was I clad with the grey armour; and below the armour a
close-knit suit of special shaping and texture, to have the shape of the
armour, and that I might not die by the cold of the Night Land. And I
placed upon me a scrip of food and drink, that might keep the life
within me for a great time, by reason of its preparation; and this lay
ready to me, with the armour, and was stitched about with the Mark of
Honour; so that I knew loving women thus to speed me. And when all was done and made ready, I took up the Diskos, and bowed in
silence to the Master of the Preparation; and he went towards the door,
and opened it; and signalled that the People stand back; so that I might
go forth untouched. And the People stood back; for many had crowded to
the door of the Room of Preparation, so that I knew how that my story
must be to the heart of all, in all the Cities of the Great Redoubt; for
to come unbidden anigh that Door was against the Lesser Law, and that
any erred in this matter, betokened much. And I went out through the Door; and there was a mighty lane of people
unto the Great Lift. And about the Great Lift, as I went downwards, did
the countless millions stand; and all in a great silence; but having
dear sympathy in their souls; yet loyal unto my safety, in that none in
all the Mighty Pyramid did make speech unto me, or call out aught. And
as I went downward through the miles, lo! all the aether of the world
seemed to be surged with the silent prayers and speedings of those quiet
multitudes. And I came at last unto the Great Gate; and behold the dear Master
Monstruwacan did stand in full armour, and with the Diskos, to do me
honour, with the Full Watch, as I went forth. And I looked at him,
quietly, and he looked unto me, and I bent my head to show respect; and
he made silent salute with the Diskos; and afterwards I went onwards
towards the Great Gateway. And they made dim the lights in the Great Causeway, that there should no
glare go forth into the Land, when the Gate was opened; and behold, they
opened not the lesser gate within the greater, for me; but did honour my
journey, in that they swung wide the Great Gate itself, through which a
monstrous army might pass. And there was an utter silence all about the
Gate; and in the hushed light the two thousand that made the Full Watch,
held up each the Diskos, silently, to make salute; and humbly, I held up
the Diskos reversed, and went forward into the Dark. VI

THE WAY THAT I DID GO


Now I went forward for a space, and took heed not to look backwards; but
to be strong of heart and spirit; for that which did lie before me had
need of all my manhood and courage of soul, that I come to the succour
of that Maid afar in the darkness of the World, or meet my death proper,
as it might need to be. And thus did I go forward steadfastly, and conscious in all my being of
the emotions of that parting from my mighty Home, and of the tenderness
and wiseness that did underlie so much curbed rule and guidance.