[{"x": "all right. whoa, stop.", "y": "what?"}, {"x": "stop. perfect.", "y": "but i... i can't see, and you can't see me."}, {"x": "yeah. yeah, just like that.", "y": "you were picturing your crush!"}, {"x": "well, somebody had to.", "y": "okay, okay, answer me this. are you absolutely sure it had nothing whatsoever... to do with the boots?"}, {"x": "you would look so totally hot in those.", "y": "do you have these in a size 11?"}, {"x": "i am your father! you will listen to me!", "y": "hey! how's the open marriage going? who was the first one to get the five numbers?"}, {"x": "oh, come on. zoey's not shutting anything down, standing out there with her stupid megaphone, screaming in the wind; butt cheeks trembling with fury; her perky breasts heaving; her self-righteous nipples...", "y": "dude, that's my girlfriend."}, {"x": "point is, we are taking her and the arcadian down. am i right, teddy westside?", "y": "you know it."}, {"x": "isn't it tough dating the woman that's trying to prevent your building from being built?", "y": "at first, yes, but we figured out a great way to deal with it we never talk about it. and since then, we've really been enjoying each other's company."}, {"x": "so, every time the arcadian comes up, you guys just awkwardly change the subject?", "y": "yeah, but you'd be surprised. it doesn't even come up that often."}, {"x": "meet the new lawyer i hired to help save the arcadian.", "y": "so oprah's retiring. oof! what's that world gonna be like?"}, {"x": "yeah, totally.", "y": "so, they found water on mars. what?"}, {"x": "hey. i dare you guys to dare us to make out.", "y": "hey, marsh, you know that's another mirror, right?"}, {"x": "hey there, darlin'. how you doin'? ah, is this your sister? mmm... beautiful. mmm...", "y": "hey, where are our chicken wings?"}, {"x": "good order, ted! good order!", "y": "okay, i'm gonna go pick up zoey, then we're off. see you sunday."}, {"x": "oh, wait, ted. do you have a specific reaction to any kind of alcohol?", "y": "bourbon. when i drink bourbon... i get weirdly good at beatboxing."}, {"x": "well, enjoy martha's vineyard. hopefully by the time you get back, we'll be allowed back into maclaren's.", "y": "what do you mean?"}, {"x": "stop.", "y": "man, how did things get so screwed up?"}, {"x": "i thought we weren't talking about...", "y": "we're talking about this. look, i can handle you trying to prevent me from fulfilling a life-long dream. that's just being in a relationship. but now? you turn my best friend against me?"}, {"x": "marshall made his own choice. why aren't you mad at him?", "y": "because he's going through a lot right now. he, he's looking for something to believe in, and you took advantage of that. you're, you're just like those internet swindlers who tricked him into paying 300 bucks for a lock of sasquatch fur."}, {"x": "you cannot compare the arcadian to a ziploc bag full of turkish armpit hair. the arcadian is a beautiful, magnificent hotel.", "y": "okay. you know what? we're settling this once and for all."}, {"x": "oh, my god.", "y": "well, here we are. i had a reservation at a four-star inn overlooking the ocean but, uh... how can that compete with such a beautiful, magnificent hotel? welcome to the arcadian. so here's the deal. if you can last until sunrise in your precious arcadian, i'll join your side."}, {"x": "you're on. this place is fantastic. they even left a chocolate on the pillow.", "y": "that's not a chocolate."}, {"x": "well, we're here for the night. might as well have some fun. dare to join me?", "y": "dust just flew out of that comforter in the shape of a skull. whoa, something just passed through me. can you get stds from the ghost of a prost*tute?"}, {"x": "what? what is it?", "y": "uh, these were supposed to be for a romantic dinner on our balcony as we were serenaded by the sounds of the ocean. but i guess we'll have to settle for what sounded like two very large men having sex next door... with a third very small man."}, {"x": "i think that small man sounded very moved by the arcadian's beauty.", "y": "okay. what is it? and don't give me, \"it's beautiful.\" don't give me, \"it's magnificent\" what is it about this place that makes you so passionate to save it?"}, {"x": "well... when i was a little girl... my family used to live here.", "y": "why, why have you never told me that?"}, {"x": "i never told anyone that. it makes it sound like it would be impossible for me to be objective, but... the truth is, i... i loved growing up here. we had just moved to new york. we were completely broke. but my mom told my sisters and me that the arcadian was a castle. and we believed her. i know it's not what it used to be... but this building is a part of who i am. and that's why i want so badly for you to like it, too.", "y": "i love you."}, {"x": "i love you.", "y": "you know, i guess this place isn't so bad."}, {"x": "see? with a little renovation, we could restore it to its former... what was that?", "y": "what was what?"}, {"x": "i think it went under the bed.", "y": "i don't see anything."}, {"x": "that, that was... that!", "y": "oh, my god! it's the cock-a-mouse!"}, {"x": "the what?", "y": "cock-a-mouse. part cockroach, part mouse. it used to live in our apartment. it must have settled here, and... oh! look, it had babies! good for it."}, {"x": "what kind of dirtbag doesn't stand by his best friends, but instead sides with some self-righteous bitch with a pointless cause and a megaphone?", "y": "dude. that's my girlfriend. and you know what? i'm on her side now, too."}, {"x": "thank you.", "y": "\"yes. the arcadian should be a landmark.\" and then the crowd gasps \"oh, my god! did he really just say that? oh, heavens! oh, my stars! i must clutch my pearls!\""}, {"x": "so these things are generally attended by old southern ladies?", "y": "almost exclusively. but here's my point if they ask gnb's chief architect... aka me... if the arcadian should be a landmark, and i say \"yes\"?"}, {"x": "what kind of dirtbag doesn't stand by his best friends, but instead, sides with some self-righteous bitch with a pointless cause and a megaphone?!", "y": "dude! that's my girlfriend. and ya know what? i'm on her side now, too."}, {"x": "message from barney? that's my cue to leave. good night, guys. i love you.", "y": "mmm. love you, too."}, {"x": "oh, we've got the big lpc meeting in two days. i have my whole presentation worked out. i just need to find a good rhyme to end on.", "y": "why does it need to rhyme?"}, {"x": "secondly, ted, i'm sorry i said mean things about zoey. are you really going to walk away from this project just because you're mad at me?", "y": "it's not because i'm mad at you. barney, the arcadian was designed by a guy named john clifford larrabee. and even though he's been dead for half a century, it's my duty, architect to architect, to keep his work alive. please tell me a little part of you understands."}, {"x": "i understand. zoey has magic lady bits.", "y": "what?"}, {"x": "um... thank you for, um, not using a first name in that story.", "y": "barney, this is about the building."}, {"x": "come on. this is so about the girl.", "y": "okay, fine. it's about the girl! i am doing this for zoey! i'm in love with her. look, i know it's early, but there is a very good chance zoey might be the mother of my children. so, in addition to doing this for john clifford larrabee, i'm also doing this for luke and leia."}, {"x": "wait. she's gonna let you name your kids luke and leia?", "y": "not if i knock down her favorite building, she isn't. barney, i'm sorry."}, {"x": "no, you'd better make sure mosby doesn't screw up tomorrow. because either that building is going down, or you're going down.", "y": "they're going to fire him? that sucks. he loves that job."}, {"x": "okay, what does barney do at gnb?", "y": "no idea."}, {"x": "okay, ted, can you just please think about this before you...", "y": "there's nothing to think about. i-i can't lose zoey. that's the only thing that matters to me right now."}, {"x": "you say...", "y": "no."}, {"x": "you say...", "y": "yes"}, {"x": "and you're happy for, like, a second, until you realize the building you helped save has just become a monument to everything this woman made you give up, and you resent her for it, so much so, in fact, that you dump her.", "y": "we're done here."}, {"x": "that one's less likely. what i'm saying... what i hate saying... is this. you and zoey are gonna break up. but you can still save your career and barney's.", "y": "okay, first of all, no ninja's getting a jump on me. i have the reflexes of a jungle..."}, {"x": "tree?", "y": "second of all, i don't care that the odds are stacked against us. i'd rather try to make this work with zoey than spend the rest of my life alone playing angry birds, which, by the way, i've shown you how to download, like, 20 times."}, {"x": "i've got to say, i'm with ted on this.", "y": "thank you."}, {"x": "thank you.", "y": "barney, what are you doing?"}, {"x": "who is this barney? my name is john clifford larrabee, architect of the arcadian. and i am visiting you in a dream...", "y": "really? 'cause it feels more like my insane friend renting a costume and breaking into my apartment in the middle of the night for what i wish i could say was the first time."}, {"x": "look, it's a dream, it is. so just... okay? theodore... heed my words do not try to save the arcadian.", "y": "barney, there's condoms in the drawer. just take them and get out."}, {"x": "i am not... barney...", "y": "whoa! lighting change!"}, {"x": "theodore, you know the arcadian is a badly built, architecturally unimportant rat's nest designed by an overpaid, plagiarizing ether addict with two thumbs. this guy.", "y": "okay, yes, it's-it's a terrible building, but... does that mean we have to knock it down? i mean, it's not bothering anyone. just anyone who lives in it... or looks at it... or smells it."}, {"x": "new york is never finished, theodore. she's a lady only a handful of architects ever get to dance with. do not miss your turn.", "y": "the arcadian has to go, doesn't it?"}, {"x": "indeed.", "y": "you realize this kind of screws up my personal life."}, {"x": "mo' buildings, mo' problems.", "y": "this is a dream, right? because, barney, i swear to god, if that's you..."}, {"x": "hello, mr. lion.", "y": "\"look on my works, ye mighty, and despair\"\""}, {"x": "hey, i met you right.....here.", "y": "right. and i mistook you for a prost*tute right... here."}, {"x": "as far as you know, i still could be one. and you, my good man, have run up quite a tab.", "y": "worth every penny."}, {"x": "all right... this was fun. i'm gonna take this cab. big day tomorrow. we need to get some sleep. and yet...", "y": "no, we should get some sleep. but this was fun."}, {"x": "yeah. it's nice getting one last look to remember what we're trying to save.", "y": "exactly."}, {"x": "you okay?", "y": "yeah. good night."}, {"x": "mr. mosby, i'm going to ask you one last time. should the arcadian be a landmark?", "y": "no, it shouldn't be a landmark. there are a lot of important buildings in new york. the arcadian isn't one of them."}, {"x": "is that your voice, mr. mosby?", "y": "yeah, that's me."}, {"x": "they're gonna landmark the hell out of that place.", "y": "yeah."}, {"x": "better get used to that lion head. as of tomorrow, it's gonna be there till the end of times. and all because of my sweet, sweet rhymes.", "y": "what are we gonna do? we should buy a bar."}, {"x": "oh, oh, and ready? it's a theme bar. it's a courtroom.", "y": "yes! where the bartenders wear sexy judges' robes."}, {"x": "ho! you're judged by a jury of your beers.", "y": "that's not bad."}, {"x": "just stop it! no one's buying a bar. right now we have a little problem. let's just think of a solution.", "y": "lily, it's over. the good guys lost."}, {"x": "oh, this is good!", "y": "we have to find arthur right now."}, {"x": "last night, this committee took a vote, and while we have all felt from the very beginning that the arcadian is, well, an eyesore... mr. mosby's surprising testimony about the lion's head stonework left us no choice but to declare it... a landmark. but then, something else happened last night. that same lion's head stonework...disappeared. so... that makes our job a little easier. motion denied.", "y": "zoey... zoey!"}, {"x": "all right, what do you have to say for yourself?", "y": "i don't know. sometimes... things have to fall apart to make way for better things."}, {"x": "i want to press it!", "y": "i want to press it!"}, {"x": "it's just a button, okay? can we just talk about something else, please?", "y": "well, i ran into zoey yesterday."}, {"x": "i'm still unemployed, so i had to get a couple roommates.", "y": "saving money. making new friends. no downside."}, {"x": "they're all 22 and sell dr*gs. which means they're not taking them. so, that's a win.", "y": "well, i can tell you're really busy so i should... i'll let you go."}, {"x": "you know that \"coffee\" is code for \"i want to get back together\" right?", "y": "well, at first i wasn't sure, but then she said something that got me thinking."}, {"x": "you know what might... make you feel better, buddy?", "y": "i'm not letting you press the button."}, {"x": "i want to press the button!", "y": "you're not pressing the button! it's my button!"}, {"x": "you okay?", "y": "yeah... no. this morning i was talking to the foreman."}, {"x": "hey, hotshot.", "y": "you know, rod, um, i'm loving that nickname, and i can tell it's totally affectionate, but, uh, i'd prefer ted."}, {"x": "yeah, but you're such a hotshot, i figured i'd just call you hotshot. pick one. and make sure you like it. there's going to be 50,000 of these in your big, hotshot building, hotshot.", "y": "50,000 lightbulbs! what if this one's too bright? what if this one flickers and gives everyone a weird headache? do you know how many people it takes to change 50,000 lightbulbs?"}, {"x": "are these people irish, polish, blondes... what are we dealing with here?", "y": "there's just-- there's so many decisions to be made. what if i make all the wrong ones and my building just sucks?"}, {"x": "not possible. your building is new. and i have one rule new is always better.", "y": "you can't keep saying you have one rule if they're always different rules."}, {"x": "ah, but \"new is always better\" is my oldest rule, which makes it the best.", "y": "hi, marsh."}, {"x": "i got you this job, so i... say what?", "y": "whatever. it's yours. i gotta run."}, {"x": "uh, ted's gone back for less.", "y": "hi, natalie. you want to get coffee sometime?"}, {"x": "ted, i only have one rule.", "y": "but i can't reach the worst part. hi, karen. want to get coffee sometime?"}, {"x": "coming up next, our two local pandas, ming ming and bao bao, are expecting a baby.", "y": "robin, you want to get coffee sometime...?"}, {"x": "well, that's good. all we have to do is think back to the time ted told us about his first date with zoey.", "y": "amazing first date with zoey! we met at the intersection..."}, {"x": "nailed it.", "y": "thanks, julia! no, on second thought.ooh! come on. what the hell?!"}, {"x": "you can't get back together with zoey just because you're freaking out over a lightbulb.", "y": "i'm not freaking out over a lightbulb! i'm freaking out over 50,000 lightbulbs! i can't do this! i only got this job because you gave it to me, barney. i didn't earn it!"}, {"x": "but... it's a mistake.", "y": "you're right. um, excuse me. can you give this to the blonde sitting alone in there and tell her ted's really sorry? also... indirect sunlight. don't overwater. half a cup a week is more than enough. no. hi."}, {"x": "he is.", "y": "you sure?"}, {"x": "all clear!", "y": "hey, new is always better, right?"}]