 On Tuesday, Senator Joni Ernst (R.-Iowa) responded to the recent measles outbreak with the following letter to the American people: Hi, its Joni! In recent days, youve heard about a measles outbreak among children who have not been vaccinated. Like many Americans, you have probably been asking, How would Joni solve this problem? Some in the media have suggested that politicians should not have opinions about vaccinations because were not scientists. Excuse me, but thats like saying people shouldnt have opinions about flowers because theyre not bees. The fact is, many parents are concerned about vaccinations, and for a valid reason: theyve read something bad about them on the Internet. But the good news is that theres an alternative to vaccinations thats cheap, readily available, and totally safe: bread bags. Take a look at a bread bag. Its made out of plastic, which means that no microscopic virus can get through it, unless theres a hole in the bag. Thats why, every morning, my parents sent me to school with bread bags on my hands. You see, measles are a hand-borne virus. You can only catch them through contact with someones measles-infected hand. If every child in America would go to school with bread bags on their hands, why, before you know it, measles would go the way of the Macarena (a dance that used to be very popular but has pretty much disappeared). Why hasnt anyone thought of this before? Maybe because theres big money behind vaccinations but not behind bread bags. No one makes money on bread bags. They just come with the bread. So do Joni a favor. Tomorrow, send your kids to school with bread bags on their hands. As my mom used to say, Joni, if theres a problem bread bags cant solve, its probably not a problem. To your health, Joni P.S. Important! This will only work if there are no holes in the bags. 