Republican Presidential candidate Mitt Romney dropped by the selfnews today and gave what some are calling his most candid interview ever: Q: What do you see as the biggest challenge of your campaign going forward? A: Well, I suppose the biggest challenge would be the same one Ive faced all my life: that no one likes me. But as Ive found in the past, money usually takes care of that. Q: What do you need to do to persuade the right wing of your party that youre one of them? A: Well, first and foremost, I have to do a better job of convincing them that I believe in the crazy things they do. The problem is, the media keeps emphasizing aspects of my rsum that make me sound sane, like when I gave people in Massachusetts health care. Talk about something Id like to have a Mulligan on! Now, theres stuff in my biography that would help me with the Republican baselike the time in prep school when I pinned that gay boy to the ground and cut his hair offbut that gets little if any coverage. This is a clear case of media bias, and I wish it would stop. Q: How are you working to change the perception that youre sane? A: Well, obviously, by saying stuff that makes me sound like Im off my rocker. Sheldon Adelson has been super helpful with this. If I could just channel that guy, Id be ready for the booby hatch! I mean, you want to talk about a few bricks shy of a load. [Makes circular motion by the side of his head.] Anyway, hes given me some of my best lines for my stump speech. Like the one about how on Day One Im going to move Obamacare and Planned Parenthood to Iran and then bomb the hell out of all three. Thats pure Sheldon. Q: Speaking of your stump speech, recently youve been talking about how President Obama has fostered a culture of dependency. Whats the impetus behind that? A: Oh, thats to appeal to voters who dont like black people. I thought that was obvious! Laughing Out Loud. Well, Im afraid thats all I have time for. I have to take some of the old Bain gang out for dinner and make sure we keep our stories straight about when I worked there. 