 Today, American International Group (A.I.G.) issued the following letter to American taxpayers. Dear American Taxpayers: In 2008, you paid for a bailout of A.I.G. totalling $182 billion. Today, we are writing to tell you that were thinking of suing you. When we made this decision, we knew we were in for some rough treatment from the media. Weve been called everything from soulless bloodsuckers to Satans scabrous handmaidens, and worse. At A.I.G., though, we have a different name for ourselves: true American heroes. You see, by suing the same people who bailed out our asses just five years ago, we are standing up for one of the most precious American rights of all: the right to sue someone who has just saved your life. Lets say that youre trapped in a burning building and a fireman pulls you out to safety. Once youre out of the fire, though, you notice that the fireman carelessly ripped the lapel of your Armani jacket. Shouldnt you be able to sue the fireman for the full cost of its replacement? Or lets say youre drowning in the ocean. A lifeguard dives in, pulls you back onto the shore, and administers mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. Arent you entitled to take appropriate actioni.e., sue him for sexual harassment? By suing you, we are standing up for the right of every other American who might, through no fault of his own, have his life saved and want to sue the person who saved him for millions of dollars. And thats why were asking for your help today. Lawsuits arent cheap. They require highly paid lawyers, who rack up millions in legal fees, not to mention first-class airfare, hotels, and sumptuous gourmet mealshardly the kind of expense that we at A.I.G. can afford. Thats why wed like you to pay for it. You may think were expecting a lot, asking you for the money necessary for us to sue you. But, remember, theres a bigger principle at stake, and someday, if youre pulled from a burning building or an ocean, youll be glad you stood with us today. Oh, and as for our ad campaign, Thank you, America? Were sticking with that, just changing the first word. See you in court, Your friends at A.I.G. 