Calling the results of todays Iowa straw poll alarming, Standard and Poors took the unprecedented action of downgrading Iowas I.Q. While the effects of such an extraordinary measure are hard to predict, experts say the I.Q. downgrade could result in Iowans having difficulty completing sentences or operating a television remote. This downgrade would be very upsetting to Republicans in Iowa, said an S. & P. spokesman. Fortunately, theres no way theyll understand it. The winner in the straw poll, Representative Michele Bachmann (R., Minn.), gave a rousing victory speech that was simulcast in English across the state. But there may be tough sledding ahead for Representative Bachmann, as a new poll shows her losing support to Texas Governor Rick Perry among voters who describe themselves as morons. Governor Perry kicked off his Presidential campaign today in South Carolina, unveiling a new stump speech in which he promised to repeal the twentieth century. 