Eradicating any sense of respectability and gentlemanliness he thought he possessed during the long winter months, local man Brendan Watt was reminded Thursday by the return of more revealing spring attire that he is nothing more than a vulgar, hormonal ogre who has to actively keep his thoughts and gaze in check whenever he goes out in public, the disheartened 33-year-old confirmed to reporters. God, Watt reportedly said to himself while walking to work amid a variety of women wearing skirts and light strapless garments, as he arrived at the annual realization that he is, despite his best hopes, a chemically driven beast who must mentally tell himself he doesnt need to take another glance at women who pass by in tank tops and yoga pants. And theres still five more months of this, for Christs sake. At press time, Watt had just caught himself taking a second look at a girl whoJesuswas a good 15 years younger than him, and was sadly accepting that this is just who he is. 