Actor Conrad Bain, known to millions as Philip Drummond on the hit '70s sitcom Diff'rent Strokes, stepped down Monday from the post of National Kitsch-Reference Laureate. 'I am extremely proud to have served my country for the past 11 years in my humorous-referential capacity,' Bain said. 'Almost as proud as I was of Willis and Arnold that time they went on the hunger strike to save the ancient Indian burial ground that my construction company was going to tear up for a new building.' Bain added that he is fully confident that his successor, Ron 'Horshack' Palillo, 'will serve the nation with distinction and honor.' 