STRENGTHS: So good, only needs to play 75 percent of season to be named Defensive Player of the Year; eight-year veteran at strong safety, but reads offenses at a 12th-year level; is behind you right now WEAKNESSES: Style of play should have him paralyzed by third quarter of Super Bowl; only zooms around the field to where the ball is because he wants to be included; Polamalu is actually a fictional character in Ike Taylors imagination, and will disappear when Taylor realizes he has been the one making the Steelers big plays all along NUMBER OF TIMES TROY AIKMAN AND JOE BUCK WILL TALK ABOUT HIS HAIR: ZeroAikman and Buck are consummate professionals who would never stoop to that level of inanity SUPER BOWL GOAL: To play entire game without ever having his feet touch the ground ACTUAL NAME: David Dinkus NEXT: Mike Tomlin 