Struggling in vain to free himself from the sticky vessel, GOP presidential candidate Mike Huckabee was reportedly forced to attend a campaign fundraiser Tuesday with his head stuck firmly inside a crock of molasses. Id love to tell yall bout how Obamas done let the Arabs run buck-wild round the Middle East, but I seem to have got myself into a whole hogs heap of trouble here, said Huckabee, his remarks to donors muffled by the ceramic container that slowly trickled dark brown liquid over his neck and shoulders. Its past time we had a president who could tell the difference tween a tater and a tax plan, and if I werent stickier than a possum in pine tar, Id be fixin to shake yalls hands for tossin a whole mess of money my way. At press time, sources confirmed that Huckabees attempts to pry the pot off his head had succeeded only in getting both of the candidates arms stuck inside the crock too. 