Ways To Celebrate Your Freedom Like A Rebel HumorHeather Callaghan But being a rebel today means different types of battles and fronts than in the days of our founding fathers although the inspiration is the same. The following are just a few ways you can really live it up this Independence Day. We want you to add your own in the comments! Drink raw milk. Better yet, meet your Amish dealer at a state line and drink your illegal public health safety risk with one foot in each state. If youre self employed and send quarterly taxes to the IRS, use an invisible envelope with invisible money same difference. Call a random cell phone number. *Brrriing-Brrriing HelloNSA? Happy Independence Daaaayyy! Visit a rebel naturopathic doctor before theyre completely outlawed. Get your nutrition advice from an illegal consultant or a blogger whos on trial, the ones who are not state certified ADA drones. Dig up a genetically modified crop its the biggest new thing in Europe, very chic these days, and we cant let those blokes show us up when it comes to revolution. Get involved in any jury opportunity. Nullify-nullify-nullify! Raise hell be the 12th Angry Man. Smile for your police profile, then make your mugshot your Facebook profile pic. Weave some clothing from industrialized hemp. Go Robin Hooding. (Google it, then do it its fun!) Grow a front-yard garden hang a sign that says NO BUREAUCRATS! Might as well get some heritage pigs while youre at it. Are you up in Michigan? Ooooh, you cheeky rebel, You! Vote third party or for whoever floats your boat heavens no, what a waste! Or dont vote if you feel you shouldnt. And when someone tells you, If you dont vote, you have no right to complain, express your right to complain even louder! Go into the average church in America and ask who would Jesus bomb or torture next. Seriously, have you ever discussed foreign policy there? You will need the shoes from the boy in The Sandlot. Start running. Deliver your freedom baby at home. Refuse vaccination even while told you may not take exemption. NO is a complete sentence the founding fathers said no, maybe with more words. Send that kid to school with healthy lunches and Kombucha drinks theyll call the bomb squad. Wait! Did you catch that? Why would a rebel do that?? UNSCHOOL! Eat lots of calories, you devil you! Eat potatoes! The latest media diet buzz pushes small portions, potatoes are bad, eat few calories, and NO snacking whos hungry?? Eating real food is an act of rebellion today because thriving is a rarity. Throw a party and serve grass-fed burgers and raw milk shakes. Treat your vegetarian and vegan friends to your organically grown garden soon to be illegal. Serve up your organic cucumbers, bean sprouts, and alfalfa they know theres no e.coli on them, right? Make iced tea with non-fluoridated water. Speaking of which check into decalcifying that pineal gland. Youre gonna need that third eye to stay sane in an insane world. Let your kids have a lemonade stand . . . until the cops shut them down. Enjoy some FDA-seized elderberry juice concentrate in sparkling mineral water. Speaking of elderberry, drive by your local DHS Fusion center, stick your head out the window, make a face and yell out your favorite Monty Python quote. Visit the TSA wearing a diaper on the outside of your pants. During the search throw the diaper in the air! That might be over the top, but remember when the TSA was really into diapers? Like, literally? If TSA doesnt confiscate your diaper, give it to a cow. They wont be allowed to fart outdoors anymore. Find a clean cow-free area, start gulping in lots of puffs of air. When someone asks what youre doing, say you are hoarding it before they tax it. If you feel like celebrating whats left of your freedom this year, shoot off fireworks a few decibels above theallowablecity ordinance sound levels. Dont use guns, youd be wasting precious ammo, hard to come by. Plus, people might mistake you for the blockhead who thinks freedom is a country song about an eagle flying over a faded bellowing American flag backdrop. Buy some precious metals. You wont be allowed to purchase gold and silver very soon you outlaw! Invite your friends to a movie night at your house and get them all pumped up. But when they get there, show a movie like America: Freedom to Fascism. They will think that is so considerate and thoughtful of you When someone experiences cognitive dissonance and decides to challenge you to a game of wits, only answer in terms of: So?? So what? or And?? Theyll come around and get there eventually. READ THE CONSTITUTION . . . so you can remember it when its completely erased. Fahrenheit 451 style. Read it by the light of an incandescent bulb. Better yet, out in the bright sun with no sunscreen! Thats right, choosing not to slather on that toxic white goop is truly radical! Plus, the sun is awesome. React with kindness. Live a great life. Humor is your strength. The most rebellious act? Know, I mean really know That you are free from the inside-out because you exist and you are precious! 