According to coworkers, Novitech systems administrator Ted Shiner insists on referring to his fanny pack as a 'lumbar satchel.' 'I asked him if he had the key to the fifth-floor men's room, and he tells me to get it out of his 'lumbar satchel,'' account manager Fred Weyert said of the ponytailed, 29-year-old Shiner. 'I had to ask him, like, three more times and go through having him describe exactly where it was on his desk before I realized he was talking about his damn fanny pack.' 