Claiming that he would be up Shit Creek without a goddamn paddle if he wasnt able to locate one, a frantic, out-of-breath Vice President Joe Biden reportedly arrived at a D.C. area canine rescue shelter early Monday morning in search of a look-alike for the Obama familys pet dog Bo. Hey, I need a poodle, prontoblack one if you got it, the frenzied, disheveled VP told Washington Humane Society workers, emphasizing that he needed to score a dead ringer for the First Familys beloved Portuguese Water Dog before they wise up. Theirs is a boy, I think, but whatever, cant be picky here. That little nippy one is close enough. Doesnt have to be the genuine article. Uncle Joes just got to set things right. Sources confirmed Biden also asked the shelters employees if they offered any cheap quickie pet cremations. 