A shocking investigation published in this weeks Sports Illustrated shed light on Oklahoma State Universitys alleged practice of plying its football players with sex, drugs, academic assistance, and cash payments in violation of NCAA rules, revealing that the college is an absolutely awesome place to play football. We found by enabling recreational drug use, encouraging recruits to sign by offering free sex, and paying some players over $10,000 annually that OSU is a totally kickass place to play football, said Sports Illustrated writer Thayer Evans, adding that the amazing Division I football program from 2000 to 2011 routinely provided lucky-as-hell athletes with incredibly cool illegal perks. After discovering the typical OSU football player gets access to an unending supply of sex, drugs, and free money, all while the school provides a tutor to do your homework for you, only one thought came to my mind: Ride em Cowboys! At press time, every single one of the nations top 300 high school football recruits had committed to OSU. 