ENOCHVILLE, NCStu Ayden knocked some sense into the thick skull of 9-year-old Jesse Wilkerson Monday night. 'Since Jesse's real father is not around, it is sometimes necessary for another man, in this case Ayden, to step in as a male parent surrogate,' said Dr. Frank Gillette, a child psychologist. 'Jesse spilled half a glass of Hi-C fruit punch on the carpet of Ayden's mobile home, so as Jesse's mother's boyfriend, it was his responsibility to answer the behavior with a thorough ass-beating.' When questioned by reporters, Ayden said he is glad to serve as Jesse's caretaker so long as his mama keeps payin' the rent. 