Saying it feels really awful about what is about to happen, the San Andreas Fault issued a preemptive apology Monday to Californias citizenry stretching from San Francisco to Los Angeles. I hate to say it, but the amount of stress in all three of my segments has reached sufficient levels, and, well, Ill just be honest here, its going to be really bad, the tectonic boundary said, adding that it felt especially sorry for any Californians currently on the Golden Gate Bridge or in one of the upper floors of the U.S. Bank Tower in Los Angeles. The thing is, I cant make it stop. Believe me, I would if I could, but the friction and tension in my plates has been building and building for such a long time, and now theyre going to slip. In 30 minutes. Im so, so sorry. Last thing in the world I wanted to do. The San Andreas Fault noted that, on the bright side, the people of Arizona and Nevada are going to love their new oceanfront property. 