According to a study published Wednesday by researchers who arent trying to freak you out or anything but just thought you ought to know, your now-17-year-old younger sister is probably getting laid pretty regularly these days. Our results suggest you should face the fact that your sister is almost certainly having sex at least three to four times a week, and has no doubt been boned by at least two members of the basketball team, read the 90-page report, which indicated that the sibling you walked to school when she was a first-grader is now a teenage girl who has a boyfriendjust sayingand that you cant honestly pretend you didnt see this coming. Following a multiple regression analysis taking into account that your little sister (1) is a high school senior, (2) has always been cute, and (3) has, admit it, gotten seriously hot in the past couple years, our study concludes she can, in all likelihood, get laid anytime she wants to, and is basically at the point of turning dick away by now. Just wanted to throw that out there. Data from the study also indicate that hey, while were at it, you might as well know your little brother isnt doing too bad, either. 