According to high-ranking al-Qaeda sources, local operative Fasad al-Hashimi reportedly expressed disbelief Thursday over the exorbitant price of Super Bowl tickets, complaining that even the cheapest seats were listing at nearly $2,000. I cant imagine anybody wanting to go to this game more than me, but these prices are ridiculous, said al-Hashimi, adding that only powerful corporate executives and wealthy celebrities could afford to attend the NFL championship game. Such a rip-off. The fact that the Super Bowl is too expensive for the average person represents everything that is wrong with America. At press time, al-Hashimi had reportedly decided to shell out $2,500 for a Super Bowl ticket, claiming that the cost was a worthwhile expenditure. 