Noting that his mystical abilities extend from the most everyday tasks to the largest quarterly projects, coworkers at Oracle Media reported Monday that enchanted office worker Matthew Kosnick is capable of turning everything he touches into additional work for his colleagues. His powers are astonishing; every responsibility that is left in his handsfrom compiling the companys sales figures, to putting together PowerPoints, to refilling the coffeemakermagically becomes hours of extra work for someone else to complete, said junior sales representative Alicia McCall, marveling at Kosnicks supernatural ability to instantly increase the hassle of any project tenfold. There is no assignment he cant turn into a weeklong slog that results in multiple conference calls and forces his fellow employees to stay late several nights in a row. And with just a few quick lines in an email, he is able to set off a miraculous chain of events that eventually takes up all of the departments time and effort. Its breathtaking. At press time, the magical employee could be overheard remarking how busy his coworkers appeared and asking if there was anything he could do to help. 