Sources confirmed Monday that the man seen parked on a residential street at 2:00 a.m. in a 93 Ford Lightning last night is, in all likelihood, a morally upright citizen with nothing but the most virtuous intentions. Hes just been sitting there in the dark for the past thirty minutes in a car Ive never seen around here before, so theres no question in my mind that whatever hes up to here, its totally ethical and legal, Massachusetts native Samuel Brand said, adding that nothing about the mans idling on a corner well after midnight seemed at all menacing or out of the ordinary. Based on the fact that his car is in need of repairs and he doesnt seem to have any reason to be here, it seems like this guy is just some law-abiding citizen looking to visit a friend or something. There certainly isnt anything about this situation that I could call suspicious. At press time, the man had abruptly revved his cars engine and driven away for what sources speculate are entirely innocent reasons. 