Noting how fussy the endangered amphibian becomes whenever it encounters irreversible damage to its ecosystem, World Wildlife Fund officials confirmed Monday that the prima donna California tiger salamander just has to have every last part of its natural habitat intact. The California tiger salamander acts like the biggest goddamn drama queen whenever its environment isnt exactly the way it likes it or if it loses adequate breeding sites, said WWF president Yolanda Kakabadse, noting that if the habitat wasnt completely pristine and just a few acres were lost to deforestation, the temperamental amphibian would simply give up like a melodramatic crybaby. And God forbid if the finicky royal majestys oh-so-precious water source happens to be contaminated with pesticides. Christ, everything always has to be perfect for this spoiled diva. It cant be too hot or too cold. And its normal prey cant go extinct, because its such a picky eater. For fucks sake, get over yourself. At press time, sources confirmed the dainty salamander was allowing its population to be decimated by one measly nonnative species of bullfrog predators. 