Responding to moderator Wolf Blitzers question about why voters who look at him are overwhelmed with feelings of intense aggravation and disgust, presidential candidate Ted Cruz provided a comprehensive outline during Thursday nights GOP debate laying out exactly why his face is so fucking infuriating. Ever since I was a child, I have had a weaselly, piece-of-shit face that you cant help but want to hit, and thats never changedhow many other candidates on this stage can say that? said Cruz, adding that oftentimes when he looks in the mirror, even he wants to drive a screwdriver through his eyes so he never has to see his stupid, boxy head and waggling, doughy chin ever again. Let me be clear: When voters look at my shit-eating, smug-as-fuck smirk, they cant help but want to wipe it off by grabbing me by my waxy hair and smashing my face repeatedly into a tabletop. I believe thats something every American can agree on. At press time, Cruzs explanation was cut off by Donald Trump loudly claiming that none of the other candidates faces could even come close to how leathery and enraging his is. 