LOS ANGELESMtley Cre accomplished a music-industry first Tuesday, when band members signed an iron-clad sexual-harassment guarantee for their 2005 'Red, White, And Cre' tour. 'What a fucking awesome crowning achievement for these veteran rockers,' manager Allen Kovac said. 'Mtley Cre is now contractually obligated to fondle, pinch, and comment lewdly on everyone they encounter during their six-month, 12-nation gig. Even at their height, KISS's managers could only get the band to sign a guarantee extending to female groupies.' The agreement stipulates that opportunities for damage to property shall not be reasonably withheld. 