Thousands were left stranded at airports nationwide Tuesday, when the Federal Aviation Administration grounded all commercial flights due to the harsh, discordant squawks emitted by a nearby crow. 'We apologize to all passengers affected by the cancellations, but he sounds really close,' acting FAA administrator Robert Sturgell said at a press conference, adding that the nation's airport security officials have determined that the crow is in either a tree somewhere close by or possibly on a roof. 'Flights across the Eastern Seaboard will resume just as soon as we can shoo it away.' In the wake of these recent air traffic delays, President Obama has earmarked $3 billion from the bailout budget to finance the construction of a national scarecrow. 