Having in recent years noticed the gradual decline in his mental function, local retiree James Latham, 83, told reporters Tuesday that he is eagerly waiting for his encroaching senility to erase a lifetimes worth of bitter memories. Ive got regrets Ive been dwelling on every single day for 50, 60, even 70 years, so its going to be really nice when dementia finally runs that stuff out the door once and for all, Latham said, expressing hope that the impending deterioration of the brain structures responsible for memory would spare him from contemplating the unrequited loves, unfulfilled aspirations, and dissolved friendships that have haunted him decade after decade. I can already barely remember the details of my numerous unsuccessful businesses, and the other day, I completely forgot why it is that my son refuses to speak to me. Why, even now, I cant come up with the name of that pretty girl in my old apartment building who I never worked up the courage to talk toyeah, this is going to be fantastic. At press time, Latham was sitting nude on a park bench, soiling himself as he vividly recalled every agonizing detail of his second failed marriage. 