Calling the death a tragic loss and saying he was truly devastated by the news, self-described Apple product loyalist Eric Cavanaugh is treating the passing of the companys former CEO Steve Jobs as if his fucking dad just died, sources confirmed Thursday. I cant believe it, said Cavanaugh, 28, wearing a saddened expression that would make you think he was mourning the loss of his 61-year-old father, Jack, and not a complete goddamn stranger. He meant a lot to me, and Ill miss him. I think I might send an e-mail to rememberingsteve@apple.com [instead of contacting the man he hasnt talked to in a month who helped him with his homework, paid his college tuition, and has supported him throughout his entire life, loving him unconditionally despite his myriad fuckups]. At press time, Cavanaugh reportedly needs to get his fucking priorities straight. 