Undergoing a rapid physical transformation the instant his hand grasped the Academy Award for best actor, Leonardo DiCaprio reportedly morphed back into a hairy, heavyset Iowan Sunday after finally winning an Oscar. This is greatIve been waiting for one of these things for a long time. Now, I can finally go back home to Boone and get back to driving a flatbed truck for a living, said the disheveled DiCaprio, scratching at his itchy scalp and causing dandruff flakes to flutter down to his shoulders as his tuxedo transformed into a tattered, mustard-stained flannel shirt. Im gonna put this on the shelf next to my bowling trophies. I cant wait to celebrate tonight with a 30 rack of Busch. At press time, DiCaprio was escorted off the stage by a visibly repulsed model trying to keep her distance from the foul-smelling actor. 