A lengthy succession of grievous and utterly miscalculated errors resulted in the 5th anniversary of local couple Jeff and Kim Cuthberts wedding, sources confirmed today. At this point, we can only blame years worth of lamentable and fundamentally flawed judgmentprimarily on the part of not only Jeff and Kim, but also their friends and familyfor todays 5th anniversary, said marital expert Simon Hatter, explaining that the anniversary is ultimately the culmination of many calamitous errors, including the couples 2006 introduction when they excitedly believed they hit it off, their 2007 engagement, and their doomed 2008 wedding. Its also safe to say that the series of mishaps continues every single day Jeff and Kim eat dinner together without making eye contact and silently lie in bed together. Hatter explained the sequence of mistakes will likely continue through the births of Jeff and Kims two children in 2014 and 2017, but that a faint glimmer of hope will emerge briefly during their 2023 trial separation. 