Following an audition that 'knocked [their] socks off,' organizers of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade announced today they would allow the al-Qaeda Marching Band, the musical performance division of the international terrorist organization, to participate in the 84th-annual holiday event. 'Macy's has no affiliation with the political agenda of al-Qaeda and in no way endorses its stated goal of destroying the imperialist secular West,' said Bob Carlson, a spokesperson for the department store. 'But their choreography is justwow. The costumes, the sass, the showmanship. These guys brought their A-game, and the drum line is just sensational.' Al-Qaeda Marching Band director Ibrahim al-Faisal told reporters being selected to perform in the parade was 'a great honor,' adding that his group looked forward to wowing the crowd and setting off a dirty bomb in the heart of Manhattan. 