Standards were lowered even further Sunday when a new, previously unimagined low was stooped to. 'I am shocked and outraged,' area resident Gwen Withers told reporters. 'I mean, I consider myself a pretty tolerant person, but this is just... eurgghh!' Experts predict the new low will remain steady for a period of weeks, after which it will lower yet again as mankind continues its centuries-long slide into total barbarism. 