At the last possible moment, area resident Gordon Kanner aborted his planned avenue of untruth, turning instead to a backup lie to explain his failure to show up at his girlfriend's sister's birthday party. 'That was the closest call in my entire two years with Jessica,' a relieved Kanner told reporters after the near-bust. 'I was going to feed her some bullshit about how I couldn't make it to her sister's thing because I had to work. But just as I was about to, she mentions seeing my car at the Safeway. Fortunately, I was able to think fast and switch to my sick-mother lie.' 