Acknowledging that its current programs are insufficient to meet the needs of a fast-paced, 21st-century population, the Chinese Ministry of Justice held a press conference Friday affirming its commitment to fixing the nations crumbling reeducation system. According to government officials, the steady decline in the quality of reeducation is evidenced by the systems serious overcrowding, dilapidated correctional facilities, and outdated propaganda materials, which have left a large percentage of Chinas political prisoners unprepared for life as obedient citizens. We are falling well short of the reeducation needs of this country and failing a whole generation of dissidents, said justice minister Wu Aiying, lamenting that many institutions currently rely on standardized reprogramming curriculums that havent been updated since the Cultural Revolution in the 1960s. We need better reeducators who know how to use modern teaching and disciplinary technologies if we want to inspire our people to become fully subservient pawns of the state. It is crucial that we find ways to attract the best instructors to our facilities, the devoted ones who arent just in it for the paycheck, Wu added. For China to remain competitive, it is of the utmost importance that we hire administrators who have the passion and know-how to promote the inability to think independently. Speaking candidly with reporters, several top Justice Ministry officials admitted that the majority of reeducators do not actively engage with Chinas largest generation of prisoners to date, noting that most instructors lack passion and enthusiasm for their daily thought-suppression and punishment sessions. Moreover, sources confirmed that many of the nations reeducation centers are forced to make do with indoctrination videos that are only available on grainy, damaged VHS tapes, while others still reportedly utilize antiquated audio equipment to play tinny records of the Chinese National Anthem every 15 minutes. The last thing we want is for state prisoners to fall behind and end up getting stuck in the system for several extra years. If we get them out there, we know they can thrive as pliant mouthpieces for the Communist Party. State officials also stressed the need for rapid improvement, citing international comparison studies that showed Chinese reeducation facilities consistently ranked behind those of North Korea in coercive persuasion tactics and torturing techniques. These dissidents simply cannot be expected to learn when our camps have one overworked instructor juggling the needs of 50 prisoners, said Wu, adding that, because of their onerous workloads, administrators often had no choice but to stay late, even after a full 16-hour day of shocking journalists with electric prods until they confessed to subverting state authority. Because our rooms are crammed so full, many reeducators feel unmotivated to do anything but teach to the Little Red Book; they never provide individualized attention to dissidents. The last thing we want is for state prisoners to fall behind and end up getting stuck in the system for several extra years, she continued. If we get them out there, we know they can thrive as pliant mouthpieces for the Communist Party. Many administrators, meanwhile, reportedly expressed their growing frustration with the low budgets at their reeducation facilities, noting that dissidents were often still handwriting confessions and that some programs were so underfunded instructors had to buy their own supplies for daily torture exercises. People dont realize how much easier it becomes to dismantle the mental faculties of members of an underground artistic movement and insert them back into society as perfectly behaved factory workers when youre given the right tools and training, said Gao Yang, the current head of Huludao City Correctional Camp. We believe that these people can go on to change the world in exactly the way we prescribe, as long as were able to adequately prepare them for a life of complete submission and fealty. Thats why its so important that we invest heavily in our reeducation system to build a better future for China, Gao continued. Or, alternatively, we could just shoot them all dead. 