Sources confirmed today that the brainwashed morons at First Baptist Assembly of Christ, all of whom blindly accept whatever simplistic fairy tales are fed to them, volunteer each Wednesday night to provide meals to impoverished members of the community. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people in town who have fallen on hard times and are unable to afford to put food on the table, so we try to help out as best we can, said 48-year-old Kerri Bellamy, one of the mindless sheep who adheres to a backward ideology and is incapable of thinking for herself, while spooning out homemade shepherds pie to a line of poor and homeless individuals. It feels great to share our blessings with the less fortunate. Plus, its fun to work alongside all the members of our [corrupt institution of propaganda and lies] who come out each week. As of press time, the brainless, unthinking lemmings had donated winter clothing they no longer wore to several needy families and still hadnt opened their eyes to reality. 