Noting that tonights debate against Mitt Romney would last a full hour and a half, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly urged President Obama to rub one out so that he could get pussy off the mind before taking the stage at 9 p.m. Eastern time. Look, Barry, you need to keep your head in the game up there, and you sure as shit cant focus if youve got a full load flaring up inside you, said Biden, telling Obama he should feel free to think about the first lady, Jill [Biden], or whoever pops into your head while youre polishing the ol Capitol dome. Hell, I mustve yanked the crank a good eight or nine times before my debate with Sarah Palin back in 08and a few times after, too, if you catch my drift. At press time, sources reported seeing the president enter a private bathroom with Bidens rare and always reliable January 1979 edition of Playboy. 