After the Justice Department indicted numerous executives from world soccers governing body on charges of corruption and bribery, frantic and visibly nervous officials from FIFA held an impromptu press conference Wednesday to announce that the United States has been selected to host this summers 2015 World Cup. We are thrilled to reveal that, for the first time in 21 years, the World Cup will finally return to America, with matches set to kick off today at 5 p.m. local time in Los Angeles, said FIFA president Sepp Blatter, smiling broadly before unveiling the tournaments official logo, a hand-drawn stick figure kicking a soccer ball with USA 2015! hastily scribbled in black marker above its head. With world-class venues in cities across the country and a rapidly growing passion for the sport, the U.S. is the perfect choicereally the only choicefor this summers tournament. Everyone at FIFA is certain that the 2015 World Cup in America will be a tremendous success, and billions of fans from around the world will, in just a few hours, come together to enjoy this wonderful display of soccer over the coming weeks. At press time, the U.S. national team was leading defending champions Germany in the World Cups opening match after being awarded 12 penalties in the games first three minutes. 