Narrow Escape from Terror: Child Suspended After a Quarter-Sized Gun Keychain Falls from His BackpackKimberly Paxton That was precisely what happened at Alan Shawn Feinstein Middle School in Coventry, R.I. last week in a terrifying episode that thankfully left no one injured and left one 7th grader named Joseph Lyssikatos suspended and banned from the school trip. Of course, the gun was on a keychain and was the size of a quarter. The two-inch keychain fell out of Lyssikatoss backpack while he was at school. After another kid picked it up and displayed it to other students, a teacher intervened and impounded the keychain. Apparently fearing that the roughly quarter-sized hunk of cheap metal was somehow a danger to life and limb, school officials sprang into action. They suspended Lyssikatos for three days. He has also been banned from an upcoming class field trip. The boys parents arent pleased. This boy was the one waving it or showing it to other kids. Not Joseph, Bonnie Bonanno, Josephs stepmother, told WJAR. Joseph wasnt doing that so why werent both of them reprimanded? Lyssikatos noted that he got the tiny keychain at a local arcade with go-karts and such in exchange for 25 tickets. The Feinstein Middle School handbook entitled Serious Disciplinary Infractions declares: Possession/carrying/use of/threat of use of a firearm or replica shall result in a recommendation for expulsion for a period of time up to one full calendar year. The boys father, Keith Bonanno, claimed on WPRO radio that the behavioral specialist told him his son was lucky that he didnt get suspended for 10 days, or even worse expelled. (source) The nation is gripped with a media-fueled anti-gun hysteria. Perfectly safe and legal activities are under scrutiny, like the kids who were playing with an airsoft gun at home and somehow managed to get suspended from school. Like the kid who bit his Pop-tart into a mountainbut got suspended because it looked like a gun. Like the child who was suspended for bringing a terrifying pink Hello Kitty bubble gun to school. Like the kid whose birthday cupcakes were confiscated because they had army guys with guns on them. Heck, kids arent even supposed to talk about guns and the schools are convincing them that they should be petrified by these things by offering them counseling. When can we institute a zero tolerance policy on stupidity? Kimberly Paxton is a staff writer for the Daily Sheeple, where this first appeared. She is based out of upstate New York. 