This week I celebrated my big birthday. Yup ... the big five-oh. My office staff provided a delicious lunch and then my favorite, citrus cake. There were only 10 candles on top. I thought it might be a joke about my ability to blow out more than that, but they gently reminded me that I am in the 10th year after my cancer. Although it is not in my personality to give cancer too much power in my life, the birthday cake got me to thinking. In many ways, my life journey restarted at the time I was diagnosed. I could call it my 'other' birthday. Incidentally, Aug. 1 is the official day of my diagnosis -- almost exactly six months after my real birthday. The rebirth analogy holds true for many aspects of cancer care. After diagnosis, like after birth, you are often helpless and at the mercy of other, more experienced people, to care for you. Moving through treatments is a lot like moving through childhood and maturing; you begin to grow more comfortable with the process and, eventually, know enough to be able to guide others through the ins and outs of the chemotherapy or surgery or radiation therapy that were unfamiliar to you just a short time before. Graduation from treatment feels a lot like graduating from school. You are out in the 'real world' but might not feel fully ready for it. Navigating the work world or social events as a survivor can be overwhelming, just as is the case for young adults living on their own for the first time. Do you share your history or not? Is it a badge of courage or a past that you want to tuck away? There are no rules or cancer etiquette to guide you. So, like a young adult, you learn as you go. It can be a scary place because of the uncertainty. Universally, survivors feel uncertain about the future. Patients deal with this uncertainty one by one. It can be bad or good. The bad thing about feeling so vulnerable is just that. After establishing yourself in the world before illness, you have now landed back at square one. The expertise you developed before cancer may no longer instill the confidence it used to. After all, your life, as you lived it, didn't prevent you from getting sick. The good thing about the uncertainty is that you have cleaned the slate. Rarely do you have an opportunity to jump out of your own life for a time and be able to come back with a new approach. Cancer gives you that opportunity. If you are healthy and feeling miserable at work or at home, it can be too difficult to face. The tendency is to live with the known evil rather than explore the unknown. Once you are a survivor, you can use your cancer diagnosis as a 'get out of jail free' card. For example, my marriage was touch and go before my illness. Once I recovered from my last radiation treatment, I was able to reinvent myself and prepare for divorce. I could always blame it on my cancer, which made it much easier on me. Every time I speak to a group of survivors I am impressed that so many have had similar experiences. Statistically, a good proportion of cancer survivors get divorced. So, as bad as the cancer can be, the rebirth it can bring is worth it. Thus, cancer, like any illness or life trauma, can be a black cloud with a silver lining. The trick is to harness the positive energy that accompanies it in a productive way. As the office sang 'Happy Birthday,' I took in a big breath and blew out all the candles. Digging into the rich buttercream, I thought how great it feels to be 10 again! Dr. Melanie Bone is a cancer survivor and gynecologist who practices in West Palm Beach, Fla. To send questions for her Q&A column, go to DrBonesCancerComforts.org (click on the 'contact' link) or PalmBeachPost.com/health (click on the 'ask a question' link). Any questions submitted to Dr. Bone will be considered for her column. This article appeared in The Palm Beach Post. 