Visitors to Brightons Fairview Cemetery confirmed that since early this morning, former Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney has been kneeling at his fathers gravestone and tearfully apologizing to the late politician for his loss to Barack Obama in Tuesdays election. All I ever wanted to do was please you, and I failed. I am so, so sorry, Romney reportedly said as he ran his fingers along the marbled engraving of his fathers name, quietly sobbing while wiping away dirt from his tear-streaked face. I tried as hard as I could. Honestly, Dad, I did. Can you ever forgive me? Sources reported that a disconsolate Romney finally left the plot after a deep, guttural voice emanated from the ground and said, Youve disappointed me, Mitt. Go away. Forever. 