Heeding the instructions of state officials and emergency personnel, thousands of New Jersey residents were able to escape Hurricane Sandys devastating floodwaters Monday by ascending to the crest of Gov. Chris Christie and riding out the storm atop the first-term Republican. According to flyovers conducted this morning, several thousand citizens from Sandy Hook to Cape Mayincluding almost the entire population of Atlantic Cityfollowed our advice to climb up Mr. Christies legs and torso to reach the highest point of the governor, said New Jersey emergency management director Rick Fuentes, noting that there were numerous food provisions located throughout the moderate Republicans clothing that could be accessed by those currently stranded on him. Thankfully, Gov. Christie has a strong, solidly built foundation and was easily able to withstand gusts of up to 90 miles per hour, as well as a fast-moving storm surge. So we ask the thousands of you still clinging to the governor to just hold tightand dont worry, because that things not going anywhere. Fuentes then stated that rescue boats and helicopters were being mobilized and urged the remaining citizens stuck atop Christie to be patient and avoid straying too close to his mouth. 