Following an onboard fire that has left more than 4,000 Carnival cruise ship passengers and crew without electricity, water, and operational bathroom facilities, feces-covered, urine-stained traveler Jason Spaulding told reporters Wednesday that he is determined to enjoy the remainder of his high seas vacation. Look, Ive been looking forward to this cruise for months, and Im not about to let a little utilities hiccup ruin my good time, said a waste-drenched Spaulding, who in the past three days has been forced to urinate and defecate off the side of an immobile Carnival cruise liner whose backed-up restrooms sources confirmed are leaking raw sewage throughout the vessels living quarters and main deck. The fact is, the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, and Im out here in the middle of the Gulf of Mexico on a boat. Uncontrollable torrents of human excrement or no, Im going to make the best of it. At press time, the optimistic Carnival passenger had decided to cool off by taking a dip in the cruise ships lukewarm, feces-clouded pool. 