Slick Twitter posts mix humor into BP oil spill story Note: Word for Word is an occasional feature excerpting passages of interest from books, magazines, websites and other sources. The text may be edited for space but the original spelling, grammar and punctuation are unchanged. A fake BP Twitter account is getting tons of attention since its first tweet on May 19: 'We regretfully admit that something has happened off of the Gulf Coast. More to come.' The satirical account (twitter.com/BPGlobalPR) pokes fun at the real oil giant's public relations campaign since all hell broke loose in the gulf, bringing a touch of levity to the worst oil spill in the nation's history. Surprisingly, BP hasn't pushed back. 'People are entitled to their views on what we're doing and we have to live with those,' BP spokesman Toby Odone told Ad Age. Here are a few of our favorites. Can we just start calling it the oilcean and move on please? .bpcares We've created something that will affect your children's children. Can YOU say the same about YOUR life? .nailedit .bpcares This horrible spill wouldn't be happening in the gulf of AMERICA! Arizona knows what I'm talking 'bout!! .fistpound .bpcares Think about it this way, the ocean is like rootbeer and oil is like ice cream. We just made America a giant rootbeer float! Just got the concession call from Exxon Valdez. They were great competitors and remarkably evil about everything. .bpwins! Lots of people blaming this on Bush or Obama. Pph, we wish. The truth is Presidents don't have any control over what we do. .bpcares A bird just stole my sandwich! You deserve everything you get, nature!!! .bpcares If Top Kill doesn't work, we're just gonna toss a giant 'Get Well Soon' card into the gulf and hope for the best. .bpcares New solution: Everybody drive your cars into the gulf with your gas caps open! You'll get a full tank and we'll only charge $20 cash! Please help us with rebranding. We're not calling it an 'oil spill' anymore, now it's a 'Southern Fun Party'. .bpcares We feel terrible about spilling oil in American waters, we'll make sure the next spill happens where the terrorists live. .bpcares Oh man, this whole time we've been trying to stop SEAWATER from gushing into our OIL. Stupid Terry was holding the diagram upside down. I'm sorry, are people mad at us for drilling in the ocean?!? Maybe God shouldn't have put oil there in the first place. DUH. .bpcares Bonfire/Boat Party tonight in the gulf. No fatties, BYOB. .bpcares The good news: Mermaids are real. The bad news: They are now extinct. .bpcares Really worried about the effect this disaster will have on bikini season. The sun is still shining ladies, get out there! Proud to announce that BP will be sponsoring the New Orleans Blues Festival this summer w/ special tribute to Muddy Waters. Catastrophe is a strong word, let's all agree to call it a whoopsie daisy. Thousands of people are attacked by sea creatures every year. We at BP are dedicated to bringing that number down. You're welcome! 