Facing a budget shortfall, the State of Oklahoma announced Thursday it would cease to conduct capital punishment by lethal injection and would instead carry out executions by hammering squad. 'This will help us cut spending while continuing to ensure justice is served for the most heinous criminals,' said Department of Corrections director Justin Jones, who explained that administering the death penalty with the same kind of hammer you might find in a kitchen drawer would eliminate $150,000 from the state's deficit. 'It doesn't require any special equipment, since most of our executioners already own hammers. And though it takes considerably longer than more traditional methods, you save quite a bit when you don't have to pay for an anesthesiologist.' Jones added that in a pinch, the hammering squad could also use the butt end of a screwdriver or a cast-iron skillet. 