Speaking to reporters as he ran a tattered extension cord along the House of Representatives rostrum this afternoon, Vice President Joe Biden confirmed that he had arrived early in order to set up a fog machine for tonights State of the Union address. This baby kicks out the fog like you wouldnt believe, but you gotta give her plenty of time to warm up if you want the whole room to fill up real thick, said Biden while carefully mixing water and glycerin according to his own homemade fog juice recipe, which he explained hed been using since his brief stint as a roadie on White Lions Pride tour in 1987. I wanted to do this thing up right with a whole laser rig and shit, but that wouldve set me back mucho dinero. But dont you worry; Uncle Joe knows a few tricks with strobes thatll get the crowd going. At press time, Biden was reportedly double-checking the timers on a set of flash pots in order to avoid another congressional aide losing their fingers in a pyrotechnic mishap. 