Responding to increased demands for easily moisturized infants, the Johnson & Johnson pharmaceutical company unveiled its latest product Monday, a self-lotioning baby. 'Parents no longer have to worry about manually lubricating their newborn infants,' said spokesman Dale Rosteroz, adding that to receive a self-lotioning baby, couples need only mail in their sperm, an egg, and specify if they want their baby to secrete lavender or unscented lotion. 'Nine months later, we'll send them a baby who can produce up to 40 fluid ounces of dermatologist-tested and dye-free lotion every month.' Rosteroz added that if parents act now they will receive 10 percent off a Johnson & Johnson bronchial atomizer to remove the lotion that will inevitably build up in the baby's lungs. 