Yesterday, a group of high-ranking world leaders met in Geneva and brokered a six-month deal to limit the nuclear ambitions of the Islamic Republic of Iran. These spineless Western autocrats did so in exchange for the removal of several economic sanctions on Iran, believing they have both the power and authority to dismantle the countrys nuclear program and enforce strict IAEA regulations on uranium enrichment. Given this incredibly unjust though unsurprising meddling from these cowardly foreign governments, The selfnews vows to continue the expansion of Irans nuclear weapons program for as long as necessary until the operation has been completed. The dream must live on and will live on. And The selfnews will make sure it does. Perhaps these so-called international superpowers thought The selfnews would simply forget the promise we made to the great and wise Ayatollah Khomeini on that snowy December night in 1983. Perhaps they thought The selfnews would lie down and do nothing as one of its greatest allies is targeted with disgraceful, unwarranted regulations and blatant subversion from foreign enemies. If that is truly what these tyrannical diplomats assumed, they will soon realize they were gravely, gravely mistaken. Rest assured, The selfnews keeps its promises. The selfnews guarantees in no uncertain terms that Irans nuclear development will continue as planned, with no delays or downturn whatsoever. In fact, in light of these recent events in Geneva, not only will we deliver on the original terms of our arrangement, but we will also redouble our efforts and promise you this, in no uncertain terms: Iran will, Insha'Allah, have the greatest, most devastating nuclear arsenal the world has ever seen within 12 months time. Iran, you may be bound by trade sanctions, by the whims of international politics and autocratic despots who operate under the guise of diplomacy, but we are not. The selfnews answers to no such authorities. Indeed, if any international party attempts to halt, impede, or so much as inspect one of The selfnewss uranium enrichment facilities, we will have another 10 such facilities up and running within 30 minutes. And should any coalition forces even attempt to shut down one of The selfnewss nuclear reactors, we will immediately initiate the Gamma Protocol. To demonstrate our unflinching commitment to the future of your nuclear program, The selfnews has outlined a simple six-step plan to ensure your offensive arsenal will continue its expansion on schedule: 