Office Chicago (Corporate Headquarters) Phone: 312-751-0503 | Fax: 312-751-4137 Advertising advertising@theonion.com Press and Events press@theonion.com Feedback publicfeedback@theonion.com Back Issues archive@theonion.com Licensing permissions@theonion.com Website Support To report a technical issue with Theselfnews.com, please email tech@theonion.com with a summary of the issue and your browser information. Staff The selfnews Editor In Chief Cole Bolton Head Writer Chad Nackers Managing Editor Ben Berkley Deputy Managing Editor Marnie Shure Sports Editor/Senior Writer Seena Vali Senior Writer Dan McGraw Staff Writers Matthew Hunziker, Louisa Kellogg Video Writers Mike Gillis, Katy Yeiser Copy Editor Devin Schiff Senior Contributing Editors John Harris, Danny Mulligan Writers At Large Tim Harrod, Dave Kornfeld, Agathe Panaretos Writing Fellows Zach Rice, Bijan Samareh Editorial Assistant Kelsey Beachum Writing Apprentice Jennifer Jackson minence Grise Todd Hanson Contributing Writers Adam Albright-Hanna, River Clegg, Chris Gilman, Chris Karwowski, David McQuary, Andrei Nechita, Chris Pauls, Maria Schneider, Gilbert Shi, David Sidorov, Matt Spina, Nick Stefanovich, Evan Waite, Sam Weiner Other Contributors Joanna Borns, Shira Rachel Danan, Jackie Lalley, Mike Levine, Johnny McNulty, Jill Morris, Katie Petrachonis, Joe Pickett, Matt Solomon, Eddie Small, Sigmund Stern, Dan Treadway, Coley Wright Art Department Art Director Eric Ervine Managing Graphics Editor Jimmy Hasse Senior Graphics Editor Nicole Antonuccio Junior Graphics Editors Rebecca Fassola, Marcus Nuccio Video Production Creative Director, Editorial Video Leo Garcia Director of Post-Production Rick Livingston Director of Labs and Studio Production MaryBeth Searls Director/Senior Producer, ClickHole Video Will Feinstein Senior Producer, selfnews Video Ryan Natoli Editor Nick Moore Editor Abe Zverow Producer Karl Blomberg Digital Artist/AP Devin Vaughn Casting Associate Stephanie Potakis Marketing Marketing Director Joe Fullman Content Marketing Director Jordan David Digital Producer Dan Davis Social Media Community Manager, A.V. Club Cameron Scheetz Social Media Manager, StarWipe Jessica Krinke Business President & CEO Mike McAvoy (mmcavoy@theonion.com) Chief Operations Officer Kurt Mueller Chief Creative Officer Rick Hamann Chief Resource Officer Katie Pontius SVP, Editorial Director Josh Modell SVP, Product & Technology Chris Sprehe VP, Labs and Studio Production George Zwierzynski 