At a high-profile media event Tuesday, Frito-Lay unveiled its new Diggz tortilla chip, touted as the first-ever snack that entirely bypasses the stomach and intestines by burrowing directly into the consumers heart. Every one of our savory Diggz corn chips is slow-baked to the perfect golden crispiness so it can bore out of your esophageal passage, through the lungs, and directly into the aorta to deliver the flavor you crave right to the center of your circulatory system, Frito-Lay spokesperson Vanessa Coviello told reporters, explaining how the chips corkscrew shape and serrated ridges allow it to cut through thick layers of muscle and sinew and lodge itself deep in ones cardiac tissue. And with mouthwatering varieties like Nacho Cheese, Ranch, Barbecue, Sriracha, and Sweet Mesquite, you wont be able to stop snacking until every chip in the bag is tunneling through your thoracic cavity. So bring a little zest to your chest with new Frito-Lay Diggz. Coviello added that certain select test markets would also be able to try the companys new Cheetos Flamin Hot Blasters, a spicy puffed cornmeal snack that detonates with tremendous combustible force when placed in the consumers mouth. 