The American Association of Cosmetic and Plastic Surgeons announced Tuesday the approval of a groundbreaking new technique that will allow an otherwise normal 40-year-old woman to gain the appearance of an incredibly strange-looking waxen-faced woman two years her junior. 'New understandings of dermal elasticity and tissue-ironing allow us to subtract dozens of months from a woman's apparent age while simultaneously turning her face into something bizarre and haunting,' a press release from the AACPS read in part. 'Now women can finally look like a grotesque simulacrum of the age they feel.' The AACPS confirmed that its member surgeons would also continue their practice of making human breasts resemble chest-borne hazardous- chemical storage tanks. 