Investigative journalist Bob Woodward announced Thursday that hes received credible information from an anonymous source confirming that Woodward hasnt been a relevant force in American journalism in 40 years. Though I cannot divulge his name, I can tell you that hes an extremely reliable, high-level government source, and thus far everything hes told me about how Im no longer a salient or even particularly respected journalistic figure completely checks out, Woodward told reporters, describing a late-night parking garage rendezvous in which the Washington Post editor was purportedly told to follow the writing. My source assured me that once I read my careless reporting on the Iraq war, my exaggerated interviews, and my exploitative and inaccurate account of the recent sequestration situation, it would be abundantly clear that my influence in the field has substantially waned since Watergate. And hes right. Its all true. Woodward then accidentally revealed that his sources name was White House Communications Director Daniel Pfeiffer, which prompted the journalist to murmur, Goddamnit, Bob, youve really lost it, under his breath. 