Beleaguered parents worldwide are hailing Johnson Laboratories' new miracle drug Serenex, a single dose of which immobilizes the vocal cords of infants, rendering their cries inaudible for up to eight hours. 'I used to be woken up five or six times a night by Ashley's shrieking,' new mother Lisette Schonert said. 'The noise drove me nuts. But now, thanks to Serenex, the problem's completely fixed.' 