Running Back, Seattle Seahawks Strengths: Speed and size allow him to easily evade reporters; Works well with holes, openings, gaps Weaknesses: Spending majority of game underneath 1,200 pounds of football players may eventually take a toll on health; Bashful, so needs encouragement from teammates to pick up blitzers; Refuses to gain yards before contact Nickname: The Fellow Whose Traits Are Reminiscent Of A Beasts Running Style: Menopausal rhinoceros Pregame Ritual: Headbutting Percy Harvin 10 times for good luck Biggest Motivation: Seeing fan-made BEAST MODE signs in the crowd during a game Social Security Number: 651-42-7506 NEXT: Richard Sherman 