Noting that his new assignment is low-stress and conveniently located next to the vending machines, Chicago Police Department patrolman Fred Carlson, 31, reported Tuesday that he cannot figure out what about his 90-day demotion to a desk job is supposed to be punitive. 'The paperwork's easy, there's central air, and sometimes I can even take my shoes off,' Carlson said. 'Plus, I've been at this for three weeks now, and guess how many times I've been afraid for my life? Zero.' Carlson claimed that if he had known accidentally shooting an unarmed black kid would be this rewarding, he would have done it sooner. 