Following this months rollout of President Obamas signature health care law, millions of uninsured citizens across the country praised the program for allowing them to become blindingly enraged at health insurance companies for the first time in their lives, sources confirmed. Ive been working two to three jobs without once qualifying for health insurance for as long as I can remember, and now for the first time ever, Ill be able to fill out reams and reams of indecipherable forms and paperwork that will frustrate and anger me in ways I could never possibly imagine, said Oregon man David Haddock, adding that he now has access to nearly 10 insurance companies that have staffs that will try to deny him benefits at every turn and make his life a living hell. Come January 1, my wife and I will finally be unable to find a good doctor thats in network, Ill try to call our insurance provider to get an explanation, and then Ill be on hold for an hour before I slam the phone down on the ground. Itll be one of the happiest days of our lives. At press time, Obamacare had already helped numerous citizens punch a hole in their computer monitors after the repeated failure of healthcare.gov. 