Mallory Pickens, a 13-year-old pro-life extremist attending todays March for Life event in the nations capital, was reportedly unaware that she had been impregnated the previous evening by a fellow member of her churchs anti-abortion organization. Right to choose? Thats a lie! Babies do not choose to die! chanted the sign-toting Lambs of Christ activist who is utterly ignorant of the fact that the semen of Kirk Tussle, a 13-year-old fellow church member and pro-life extremist, had completed the capacitation stage and resulted in a fertilized zygote following a fumbling sexual encounter at the Holiday Inn Express where their group had rented several adjoining rooms. Life from conception! No exception! At press time, sources close to Pickens predict that after discovering the pregnancy she will drop out of school, isolate herself from friends and family, and suffer crippling postpartum depression. 