I let out a moist, hot, smelly, loud fart in front of all my co-workers today. I don't think I can ever show my face again.
That's awful. I hope you can find a new job.
Me too, considering I am bound to get fired, since two of my co-workers were rushed to the ER. I thought I was going to die myself.
That a fart can hospitalize anyone is pretty impressive.  Did your story make the local news?